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Dealing with an egotistic colleague
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Work has become a bit tense in the last few months as I am constantly dealing with someone in particular who tends to have an arrogant or jerk-like attitude. This colleague of mine is in general, a nice person. At first, we would go out and drink nearly every night right after work, but since we stopped, he has shown a more unfriendly attitude towards me -- in particular, trying to belittle me when discussing about technical things like engineering opportunities at other companies.
One such example from the past, I've told him I applied to this tech company although I am currently an intern where we work. His response was less than positive as he would say stuff like: "
What are you gonna do there? You don't know the basis of Software engineering, do you even understand time complexities?"
Well, in particular to the job I am doing, it is much lesser technical than his as he is a back-end developer. I am a mobile developer for iOS and what I do at work is not iOS.
Furthermore, he always criticizes how a particular technology he knows is better and tends to argue a lot on how my approaches are always low to the standards professionals use. Instead of offering some guidance, he would tend to belittle me in many ways that has me wondering what his problem is.
Socially, he is a loner in the office. I tend to be more social with everyone, often hanging out for lunch with my female colleagues. One of his personal issues that I know about him is that he has issues finding a date or a female partner,
He tends to give me looks in the office when he sees me with the co-worker he likes. Back when we would hangout, he would always tell me how he desperately needs to find a female. Not sure if this is a factor to why he is like this towards me. He undoubtedly knows that I have no problems finding a date as I currently have a girlfriend.
With all these details, is there anything about him that makes him be the A-hole of the office -- specially towards me?
Update: What I am trying to achieve in this situation, is an understanding to why certain people have this attitude towards others, and how can I handle this situation in the workplace without resorting to throwing him under the bus and belittle him back on his inabilities with this possibly escalating to the point we have problems.
colleagues
asked 7 mins ago
cityDweller
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up vote
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Work has become a bit tense in the last few months as I am constantly dealing with someone in particular who tends to have an arrogant or jerk-like attitude. This colleague of mine is in general, a nice person. At first, we would go out and drink nearly every night right after work, but since we stopped, he has shown a more unfriendly attitude towards me -- in particular, trying to belittle me when discussing about technical things like engineering opportunities at other companies.
One such example from the past, I've told him I applied to this tech company although I am currently an intern where we work. His response was less than positive as he would say stuff like: "
What are you gonna do there? You don't know the basis of Software engineering, do you even understand time complexities?"
Well, in particular to the job I am doing, it is much lesser technical than his as he is a back-end developer. I am a mobile developer for iOS and what I do at work is not iOS.
Furthermore, he always criticizes how a particular technology he knows is better and tends to argue a lot on how my approaches are always low to the standards professionals use. Instead of offering some guidance, he would tend to belittle me in many ways that has me wondering what his problem is.
Socially, he is a loner in the office. I tend to be more social with everyone, often hanging out for lunch with my female colleagues. One of his personal issues that I know about him is that he has issues finding a date or a female partner,
He tends to give me looks in the office when he sees me with the co-worker he likes. Back when we would hangout, he would always tell me how he desperately needs to find a female. Not sure if this is a factor to why he is like this towards me. He undoubtedly knows that I have no problems finding a date as I currently have a girlfriend.
With all these details, is there anything about him that makes him be the A-hole of the office -- specially towards me?
Update: What I am trying to achieve in this situation, is an understanding to why certain people have this attitude towards others, and how can I handle this situation in the workplace without resorting to throwing him under the bus and belittle him back on his inabilities with this possibly escalating to the point we have problems.
colleagues
asked 7 mins ago
cityDweller
11
New contributor
cityDweller is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
Can you edit this question to have a specific goal? There is no way we can answer it properly in its current state.
– SaggingRufus
5 mins ago
"With all these details, is there anything about him that makes him be the A-hole of the office -- specially towards me?" - without knowing you and knowing him, how could anyone answer that question without wild guesses? Maybe he's just sad that he no longer has a hangout friend (my wild guess)?
– Joe Strazzere
4 mins ago
add a comment |Â
up vote
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up vote
-1
down vote
favorite
Work has become a bit tense in the last few months as I am constantly dealing with someone in particular who tends to have an arrogant or jerk-like attitude. This colleague of mine is in general, a nice person. At first, we would go out and drink nearly every night right after work, but since we stopped, he has shown a more unfriendly attitude towards me -- in particular, trying to belittle me when discussing about technical things like engineering opportunities at other companies.
One such example from the past, I've told him I applied to this tech company although I am currently an intern where we work. His response was less than positive as he would say stuff like: "
What are you gonna do there? You don't know the basis of Software engineering, do you even understand time complexities?"
Well, in particular to the job I am doing, it is much lesser technical than his as he is a back-end developer. I am a mobile developer for iOS and what I do at work is not iOS.
Furthermore, he always criticizes how a particular technology he knows is better and tends to argue a lot on how my approaches are always low to the standards professionals use. Instead of offering some guidance, he would tend to belittle me in many ways that has me wondering what his problem is.
Socially, he is a loner in the office. I tend to be more social with everyone, often hanging out for lunch with my female colleagues. One of his personal issues that I know about him is that he has issues finding a date or a female partner,
He tends to give me looks in the office when he sees me with the co-worker he likes. Back when we would hangout, he would always tell me how he desperately needs to find a female. Not sure if this is a factor to why he is like this towards me. He undoubtedly knows that I have no problems finding a date as I currently have a girlfriend.
With all these details, is there anything about him that makes him be the A-hole of the office -- specially towards me?
Update: What I am trying to achieve in this situation, is an understanding to why certain people have this attitude towards others, and how can I handle this situation in the workplace without resorting to throwing him under the bus and belittle him back on his inabilities with this possibly escalating to the point we have problems.
colleagues
asked 7 mins ago
cityDweller
11
New contributor
cityDweller is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
Work has become a bit tense in the last few months as I am constantly dealing with someone in particular who tends to have an arrogant or jerk-like attitude. This colleague of mine is in general, a nice person. At first, we would go out and drink nearly every night right after work, but since we stopped, he has shown a more unfriendly attitude towards me -- in particular, trying to belittle me when discussing about technical things like engineering opportunities at other companies.
One such example from the past, I've told him I applied to this tech company although I am currently an intern where we work. His response was less than positive as he would say stuff like: "
What are you gonna do there? You don't know the basis of Software engineering, do you even understand time complexities?"
Well, in particular to the job I am doing, it is much lesser technical than his as he is a back-end developer. I am a mobile developer for iOS and what I do at work is not iOS.
Furthermore, he always criticizes how a particular technology he knows is better and tends to argue a lot on how my approaches are always low to the standards professionals use. Instead of offering some guidance, he would tend to belittle me in many ways that has me wondering what his problem is.
Socially, he is a loner in the office. I tend to be more social with everyone, often hanging out for lunch with my female colleagues. One of his personal issues that I know about him is that he has issues finding a date or a female partner,
He tends to give me looks in the office when he sees me with the co-worker he likes. Back when we would hangout, he would always tell me how he desperately needs to find a female. Not sure if this is a factor to why he is like this towards me. He undoubtedly knows that I have no problems finding a date as I currently have a girlfriend.
With all these details, is there anything about him that makes him be the A-hole of the office -- specially towards me?
Update: What I am trying to achieve in this situation, is an understanding to why certain people have this attitude towards others, and how can I handle this situation in the workplace without resorting to throwing him under the bus and belittle him back on his inabilities with this possibly escalating to the point we have problems.
colleagues
colleagues
asked 7 mins ago
cityDweller
11
New contributor
cityDweller is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
asked 7 mins ago
cityDweller
11
New contributor
cityDweller is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
edited 1 min ago
asked 7 mins ago
cityDweller
11
New contributor
cityDweller is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
asked 7 mins ago
cityDweller
11
asked 7 mins ago
cityDweller
11
11
New contributor
cityDweller is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
New contributor
cityDweller is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
cityDweller is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
Can you edit this question to have a specific goal? There is no way we can answer it properly in its current state.
– SaggingRufus
5 mins ago
"With all these details, is there anything about him that makes him be the A-hole of the office -- specially towards me?" - without knowing you and knowing him, how could anyone answer that question without wild guesses? Maybe he's just sad that he no longer has a hangout friend (my wild guess)?
– Joe Strazzere
4 mins ago
add a comment |Â
Can you edit this question to have a specific goal? There is no way we can answer it properly in its current state.
– SaggingRufus
5 mins ago
"With all these details, is there anything about him that makes him be the A-hole of the office -- specially towards me?" - without knowing you and knowing him, how could anyone answer that question without wild guesses? Maybe he's just sad that he no longer has a hangout friend (my wild guess)?
– Joe Strazzere
4 mins ago
Can you edit this question to have a specific goal? There is no way we can answer it properly in its current state.
– SaggingRufus
5 mins ago
Can you edit this question to have a specific goal? There is no way we can answer it properly in its current state.
– SaggingRufus
5 mins ago
"With all these details, is there anything about him that makes him be the A-hole of the office -- specially towards me?" - without knowing you and knowing him, how could anyone answer that question without wild guesses? Maybe he's just sad that he no longer has a hangout friend (my wild guess)?
– Joe Strazzere
4 mins ago
"With all these details, is there anything about him that makes him be the A-hole of the office -- specially towards me?" - without knowing you and knowing him, how could anyone answer that question without wild guesses? Maybe he's just sad that he no longer has a hangout friend (my wild guess)?
– Joe Strazzere
4 mins ago
add a comment |Â
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Can you edit this question to have a specific goal? There is no way we can answer it properly in its current state.
– SaggingRufus
5 mins ago
"With all these details, is there anything about him that makes him be the A-hole of the office -- specially towards me?" - without knowing you and knowing him, how could anyone answer that question without wild guesses? Maybe he's just sad that he no longer has a hangout friend (my wild guess)?
– Joe Strazzere
4 mins ago