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How to prevent my child from being indoctrinated with a load of Christianity?
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Context: We are living in a Germany and have a small child (15 months) who will go to a public kindergarten at the age of 24 months.
Problem: In our region, all public funded kindergartens also have a denomination, typically catholic. All kindergartens inform the children of god, will sing religious songs, hold festivities, and may even preach with them. As an atheist, I find this abhorrent and deeply offensive, but there is not much choice - it's one of these kindergartens or no child care at all.
So how can I help my child to understand that most of this is, at best, just a funny story without relevance?
I want him to be able to make a conscious choice when he is able to - but I do NOT want him to believe simply because he has to ingest this at this impressionable age.
On the other hand, I fear negative consequences for him if I denounce this too openly and he says "Daddy says your god is just your big imaginary friend and not real" at the kindergarten.
toddler religion
edited 1 hour ago
tripleee
1055
asked 2 hours ago
Christian Sauer
1162
New contributor
Christian Sauer is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
add a comment |Â
up vote
3
down vote
favorite
Context: We are living in a Germany and have a small child (15 months) who will go to a public kindergarten at the age of 24 months.
Problem: In our region, all public funded kindergartens also have a denomination, typically catholic. All kindergartens inform the children of god, will sing religious songs, hold festivities, and may even preach with them. As an atheist, I find this abhorrent and deeply offensive, but there is not much choice - it's one of these kindergartens or no child care at all.
So how can I help my child to understand that most of this is, at best, just a funny story without relevance?
I want him to be able to make a conscious choice when he is able to - but I do NOT want him to believe simply because he has to ingest this at this impressionable age.
On the other hand, I fear negative consequences for him if I denounce this too openly and he says "Daddy says your god is just your big imaginary friend and not real" at the kindergarten.
toddler religion
edited 1 hour ago
tripleee
1055
asked 2 hours ago
Christian Sauer
1162
New contributor
Christian Sauer is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
1
Your name amuses me! :D
– learner101
2 hours ago
1
Are there private kindergartens in your area?
– scaaahu
1 hour ago
Note that in Germany private kindergartens will get public funding especially if the number of places in the city-run ones are not sufficient for the demand. Private does not necessarily mean costlier, but may expect a bit more involvement from the parents - which can actually be a bonus as you will likely be able to have more influence.
– Stephie
1 hour ago
@scaaahu Yes, but they are also over capacity and expensive, so we would probably not be able to get a place or afford them
– Christian Sauer
39 mins ago
add a comment |Â
up vote
3
down vote
favorite
up vote
3
down vote
favorite
Context: We are living in a Germany and have a small child (15 months) who will go to a public kindergarten at the age of 24 months.
Problem: In our region, all public funded kindergartens also have a denomination, typically catholic. All kindergartens inform the children of god, will sing religious songs, hold festivities, and may even preach with them. As an atheist, I find this abhorrent and deeply offensive, but there is not much choice - it's one of these kindergartens or no child care at all.
So how can I help my child to understand that most of this is, at best, just a funny story without relevance?
I want him to be able to make a conscious choice when he is able to - but I do NOT want him to believe simply because he has to ingest this at this impressionable age.
On the other hand, I fear negative consequences for him if I denounce this too openly and he says "Daddy says your god is just your big imaginary friend and not real" at the kindergarten.
toddler religion
edited 1 hour ago
tripleee
1055
asked 2 hours ago
Christian Sauer
1162
New contributor
Christian Sauer is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
Context: We are living in a Germany and have a small child (15 months) who will go to a public kindergarten at the age of 24 months.
Problem: In our region, all public funded kindergartens also have a denomination, typically catholic. All kindergartens inform the children of god, will sing religious songs, hold festivities, and may even preach with them. As an atheist, I find this abhorrent and deeply offensive, but there is not much choice - it's one of these kindergartens or no child care at all.
So how can I help my child to understand that most of this is, at best, just a funny story without relevance?
I want him to be able to make a conscious choice when he is able to - but I do NOT want him to believe simply because he has to ingest this at this impressionable age.
On the other hand, I fear negative consequences for him if I denounce this too openly and he says "Daddy says your god is just your big imaginary friend and not real" at the kindergarten.
toddler religion
toddler religion
edited 1 hour ago
tripleee
1055
asked 2 hours ago
Christian Sauer
1162
New contributor
Christian Sauer is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
edited 1 hour ago
tripleee
1055
asked 2 hours ago
Christian Sauer
1162
New contributor
Christian Sauer is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
edited 1 hour ago
tripleee
1055
edited 1 hour ago
tripleee
1055
edited 1 hour ago
tripleee
1055
1055
asked 2 hours ago
Christian Sauer
1162
New contributor
Christian Sauer is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
asked 2 hours ago
Christian Sauer
1162
asked 2 hours ago
Christian Sauer
1162
1162
New contributor
Christian Sauer is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
New contributor
Christian Sauer is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
Christian Sauer is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
1
Your name amuses me! :D
– learner101
2 hours ago
1
Are there private kindergartens in your area?
– scaaahu
1 hour ago
Note that in Germany private kindergartens will get public funding especially if the number of places in the city-run ones are not sufficient for the demand. Private does not necessarily mean costlier, but may expect a bit more involvement from the parents - which can actually be a bonus as you will likely be able to have more influence.
– Stephie
1 hour ago
@scaaahu Yes, but they are also over capacity and expensive, so we would probably not be able to get a place or afford them
– Christian Sauer
39 mins ago
add a comment |Â
1
Your name amuses me! :D
– learner101
2 hours ago
1
Are there private kindergartens in your area?
– scaaahu
1 hour ago
Note that in Germany private kindergartens will get public funding especially if the number of places in the city-run ones are not sufficient for the demand. Private does not necessarily mean costlier, but may expect a bit more involvement from the parents - which can actually be a bonus as you will likely be able to have more influence.
– Stephie
1 hour ago
@scaaahu Yes, but they are also over capacity and expensive, so we would probably not be able to get a place or afford them
– Christian Sauer
39 mins ago
1
1
Your name amuses me! :D
– learner101
2 hours ago
Your name amuses me! :D
– learner101
2 hours ago
1
1
Are there private kindergartens in your area?
– scaaahu
1 hour ago
Are there private kindergartens in your area?
– scaaahu
1 hour ago
Note that in Germany private kindergartens will get public funding especially if the number of places in the city-run ones are not sufficient for the demand. Private does not necessarily mean costlier, but may expect a bit more involvement from the parents - which can actually be a bonus as you will likely be able to have more influence.
– Stephie
1 hour ago
Note that in Germany private kindergartens will get public funding especially if the number of places in the city-run ones are not sufficient for the demand. Private does not necessarily mean costlier, but may expect a bit more involvement from the parents - which can actually be a bonus as you will likely be able to have more influence.
– Stephie
1 hour ago
@scaaahu Yes, but they are also over capacity and expensive, so we would probably not be able to get a place or afford them
– Christian Sauer
39 mins ago
@scaaahu Yes, but they are also over capacity and expensive, so we would probably not be able to get a place or afford them
– Christian Sauer
39 mins ago
add a comment |Â
1 Answer
1
active
oldest
votes
up vote
1
down vote
Well, I would first try not to indoctrinate him myself. If you want him to make a conscious choice, you probably should be very careful with your reactions.
I'm myself agnostic but coming from a Christian culture. My 6 year old girl goes into a non-confessional school but yet manages to talk to me about Jesus and so (we're in Belgium, so a contry that is traditionally rather Christian). I try to be careful myself not to tell her things like "this is just a funny story". When asked about religion(s), Jesus, and so on I try to be as neutral as possible with speaches like:
A lot of people think there is a god, some think there are many gods, some others believe there is no god at all, and some other just don't know. Daddy is part of these people who don't know.
I'm also very keen on extending some explanations about who Jesus is for the christians and so on, within the limit of my own knowledge. I'm quite sure in the future if more questions arise I will invite her to look for the answers herself.
Now I must admit this neutral position might be harder to hold when your kid is constantly exposed to things like preachings, but I consider it very important to really let her the free choice of her own convictions, and even to change it as she evolves.
As a side remark, I must admit I don't know the German situation at all, but I'm really surprised by what you describe and the impossibility to find a non-confessional kindergarten.
answered 1 hour ago
Laurent S.
925512
Laurent, you are porbably a better father then I am - as a radical atheist and relativly plain spoken person I will find it probably impossible not to tell my son my opinion. Kindergartens in germany are a sad story - there are too few, and they are often expensive (500 euros ore more per month) and they are traditionally attached to a confession, even if the city pays like 99% of the costs. This is different in the bigger cities, but where I live there are like 30 kindergartens with confessions and 20 without, but the latter are not easily reachable or have lacking hours (like no fridays.)
– Christian Sauer
34 mins ago
add a comment |Â
1 Answer
1
active
oldest
votes
1 Answer
1
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
up vote
1
down vote
Well, I would first try not to indoctrinate him myself. If you want him to make a conscious choice, you probably should be very careful with your reactions.
I'm myself agnostic but coming from a Christian culture. My 6 year old girl goes into a non-confessional school but yet manages to talk to me about Jesus and so (we're in Belgium, so a contry that is traditionally rather Christian). I try to be careful myself not to tell her things like "this is just a funny story". When asked about religion(s), Jesus, and so on I try to be as neutral as possible with speaches like:
A lot of people think there is a god, some think there are many gods, some others believe there is no god at all, and some other just don't know. Daddy is part of these people who don't know.
I'm also very keen on extending some explanations about who Jesus is for the christians and so on, within the limit of my own knowledge. I'm quite sure in the future if more questions arise I will invite her to look for the answers herself.
Now I must admit this neutral position might be harder to hold when your kid is constantly exposed to things like preachings, but I consider it very important to really let her the free choice of her own convictions, and even to change it as she evolves.
As a side remark, I must admit I don't know the German situation at all, but I'm really surprised by what you describe and the impossibility to find a non-confessional kindergarten.
answered 1 hour ago
Laurent S.
925512
Laurent, you are porbably a better father then I am - as a radical atheist and relativly plain spoken person I will find it probably impossible not to tell my son my opinion. Kindergartens in germany are a sad story - there are too few, and they are often expensive (500 euros ore more per month) and they are traditionally attached to a confession, even if the city pays like 99% of the costs. This is different in the bigger cities, but where I live there are like 30 kindergartens with confessions and 20 without, but the latter are not easily reachable or have lacking hours (like no fridays.)
– Christian Sauer
34 mins ago
add a comment |Â
up vote
1
down vote
Well, I would first try not to indoctrinate him myself. If you want him to make a conscious choice, you probably should be very careful with your reactions.
I'm myself agnostic but coming from a Christian culture. My 6 year old girl goes into a non-confessional school but yet manages to talk to me about Jesus and so (we're in Belgium, so a contry that is traditionally rather Christian). I try to be careful myself not to tell her things like "this is just a funny story". When asked about religion(s), Jesus, and so on I try to be as neutral as possible with speaches like:
A lot of people think there is a god, some think there are many gods, some others believe there is no god at all, and some other just don't know. Daddy is part of these people who don't know.
I'm also very keen on extending some explanations about who Jesus is for the christians and so on, within the limit of my own knowledge. I'm quite sure in the future if more questions arise I will invite her to look for the answers herself.
Now I must admit this neutral position might be harder to hold when your kid is constantly exposed to things like preachings, but I consider it very important to really let her the free choice of her own convictions, and even to change it as she evolves.
As a side remark, I must admit I don't know the German situation at all, but I'm really surprised by what you describe and the impossibility to find a non-confessional kindergarten.
answered 1 hour ago
Laurent S.
925512
Laurent, you are porbably a better father then I am - as a radical atheist and relativly plain spoken person I will find it probably impossible not to tell my son my opinion. Kindergartens in germany are a sad story - there are too few, and they are often expensive (500 euros ore more per month) and they are traditionally attached to a confession, even if the city pays like 99% of the costs. This is different in the bigger cities, but where I live there are like 30 kindergartens with confessions and 20 without, but the latter are not easily reachable or have lacking hours (like no fridays.)
– Christian Sauer
34 mins ago
add a comment |Â
up vote
1
down vote
up vote
1
down vote
Well, I would first try not to indoctrinate him myself. If you want him to make a conscious choice, you probably should be very careful with your reactions.
I'm myself agnostic but coming from a Christian culture. My 6 year old girl goes into a non-confessional school but yet manages to talk to me about Jesus and so (we're in Belgium, so a contry that is traditionally rather Christian). I try to be careful myself not to tell her things like "this is just a funny story". When asked about religion(s), Jesus, and so on I try to be as neutral as possible with speaches like:
A lot of people think there is a god, some think there are many gods, some others believe there is no god at all, and some other just don't know. Daddy is part of these people who don't know.
I'm also very keen on extending some explanations about who Jesus is for the christians and so on, within the limit of my own knowledge. I'm quite sure in the future if more questions arise I will invite her to look for the answers herself.
Now I must admit this neutral position might be harder to hold when your kid is constantly exposed to things like preachings, but I consider it very important to really let her the free choice of her own convictions, and even to change it as she evolves.
As a side remark, I must admit I don't know the German situation at all, but I'm really surprised by what you describe and the impossibility to find a non-confessional kindergarten.
answered 1 hour ago
Laurent S.
925512
Well, I would first try not to indoctrinate him myself. If you want him to make a conscious choice, you probably should be very careful with your reactions.
I'm myself agnostic but coming from a Christian culture. My 6 year old girl goes into a non-confessional school but yet manages to talk to me about Jesus and so (we're in Belgium, so a contry that is traditionally rather Christian). I try to be careful myself not to tell her things like "this is just a funny story". When asked about religion(s), Jesus, and so on I try to be as neutral as possible with speaches like:
A lot of people think there is a god, some think there are many gods, some others believe there is no god at all, and some other just don't know. Daddy is part of these people who don't know.
I'm also very keen on extending some explanations about who Jesus is for the christians and so on, within the limit of my own knowledge. I'm quite sure in the future if more questions arise I will invite her to look for the answers herself.
Now I must admit this neutral position might be harder to hold when your kid is constantly exposed to things like preachings, but I consider it very important to really let her the free choice of her own convictions, and even to change it as she evolves.
As a side remark, I must admit I don't know the German situation at all, but I'm really surprised by what you describe and the impossibility to find a non-confessional kindergarten.
answered 1 hour ago
Laurent S.
925512
answered 1 hour ago
Laurent S.
925512
answered 1 hour ago
Laurent S.
925512
answered 1 hour ago
Laurent S.
925512
925512
Laurent, you are porbably a better father then I am - as a radical atheist and relativly plain spoken person I will find it probably impossible not to tell my son my opinion. Kindergartens in germany are a sad story - there are too few, and they are often expensive (500 euros ore more per month) and they are traditionally attached to a confession, even if the city pays like 99% of the costs. This is different in the bigger cities, but where I live there are like 30 kindergartens with confessions and 20 without, but the latter are not easily reachable or have lacking hours (like no fridays.)
– Christian Sauer
34 mins ago
add a comment |Â
Laurent, you are porbably a better father then I am - as a radical atheist and relativly plain spoken person I will find it probably impossible not to tell my son my opinion. Kindergartens in germany are a sad story - there are too few, and they are often expensive (500 euros ore more per month) and they are traditionally attached to a confession, even if the city pays like 99% of the costs. This is different in the bigger cities, but where I live there are like 30 kindergartens with confessions and 20 without, but the latter are not easily reachable or have lacking hours (like no fridays.)
– Christian Sauer
34 mins ago
Laurent, you are porbably a better father then I am - as a radical atheist and relativly plain spoken person I will find it probably impossible not to tell my son my opinion. Kindergartens in germany are a sad story - there are too few, and they are often expensive (500 euros ore more per month) and they are traditionally attached to a confession, even if the city pays like 99% of the costs. This is different in the bigger cities, but where I live there are like 30 kindergartens with confessions and 20 without, but the latter are not easily reachable or have lacking hours (like no fridays.)
– Christian Sauer
34 mins ago
Laurent, you are porbably a better father then I am - as a radical atheist and relativly plain spoken person I will find it probably impossible not to tell my son my opinion. Kindergartens in germany are a sad story - there are too few, and they are often expensive (500 euros ore more per month) and they are traditionally attached to a confession, even if the city pays like 99% of the costs. This is different in the bigger cities, but where I live there are like 30 kindergartens with confessions and 20 without, but the latter are not easily reachable or have lacking hours (like no fridays.)
– Christian Sauer
34 mins ago
add a comment |Â
Christian Sauer is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
Christian Sauer is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
Christian Sauer is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
Christian Sauer is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
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1
Your name amuses me! :D
– learner101
2 hours ago
1
Are there private kindergartens in your area?
– scaaahu
1 hour ago
Note that in Germany private kindergartens will get public funding especially if the number of places in the city-run ones are not sufficient for the demand. Private does not necessarily mean costlier, but may expect a bit more involvement from the parents - which can actually be a bonus as you will likely be able to have more influence.
– Stephie
1 hour ago
@scaaahu Yes, but they are also over capacity and expensive, so we would probably not be able to get a place or afford them
– Christian Sauer
39 mins ago