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I am a personal assistant for a blind person and not sure how to deal with this problem
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I work as a personal assistant for an older blind person, I will call her KK. This is a new job for me. She is very extroverted and has a lot of friends. The thing is that her male friends are all single and 20+ older than me and some of them are blind, some of them aren't - I noticed that they flirt with me in some way, they want to approach me, to have my support, one is teasing me..and I don't know what to do in this ridiculous situation. I lied I have a boyfriend but that means nothing. I am very careful but naive as well (when I see myself later), on the other hand, I feel sorry for them and I help them. Everything is very subtle, discreet and I try to be subtle as well, I can't say things directly. I realized bit by bit that I am being manipulated. First of all, that is not my part of the job. Second, I don't want to have anything with those men. KK is single and she is..somehow..too free with those men whom she considers friends, they stay in her apartment for days. I guess they feel alone and they need a partner consciously or unconsciously but it's not my problem.
She even has an old mother who has some health problems and she needs help, her female friends too, many of them are older and sick and I am usually the one who is meant to help them in various situations when we are together. I told to KK that I am only her assistant and nobody's else and she was ok with it but as time goes by we were going back to the beginning. It turns out that I am a bad person who doesn't want to help but it's not the point. I don't know how to define my position either with men or with those women. Any advice? I can't say no, I don't want to help you or something like that..for example, we could be with her male friend who doesn't have a personal assistant, somewhere and when we do something, I help KK and I obviously have to help her friend. Then he needs something to do..and here I am. I can't forbid her to see her friends, her socialization is a part of my job. This job is a service and she is the user among many. I try to be polite and keep a distance but it is a very unpleasant situation. I feel my hands are tied.
I also try to be moral with men. I avoid to talk with them or joke, I try to avoid them.
I am very good and gentle (and in general) to KK and she is satisfied with me so she spreads positive things about me to her friends. My mistake is that I told her some personal things but not so much..I try to avoid talking about myself now which is also hard because we are spending a lot of time together. She is quiet and then, to avoid awkward silence, she is somehow pushing me to talk. I am making mistake here but I don't know what to do now.
communication new-job relationships socializing disability
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VL86
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I work as a personal assistant for an older blind person, I will call her KK. This is a new job for me. She is very extroverted and has a lot of friends. The thing is that her male friends are all single and 20+ older than me and some of them are blind, some of them aren't - I noticed that they flirt with me in some way, they want to approach me, to have my support, one is teasing me..and I don't know what to do in this ridiculous situation. I lied I have a boyfriend but that means nothing. I am very careful but naive as well (when I see myself later), on the other hand, I feel sorry for them and I help them. Everything is very subtle, discreet and I try to be subtle as well, I can't say things directly. I realized bit by bit that I am being manipulated. First of all, that is not my part of the job. Second, I don't want to have anything with those men. KK is single and she is..somehow..too free with those men whom she considers friends, they stay in her apartment for days. I guess they feel alone and they need a partner consciously or unconsciously but it's not my problem.
She even has an old mother who has some health problems and she needs help, her female friends too, many of them are older and sick and I am usually the one who is meant to help them in various situations when we are together. I told to KK that I am only her assistant and nobody's else and she was ok with it but as time goes by we were going back to the beginning. It turns out that I am a bad person who doesn't want to help but it's not the point. I don't know how to define my position either with men or with those women. Any advice? I can't say no, I don't want to help you or something like that..for example, we could be with her male friend who doesn't have a personal assistant, somewhere and when we do something, I help KK and I obviously have to help her friend. Then he needs something to do..and here I am. I can't forbid her to see her friends, her socialization is a part of my job. This job is a service and she is the user among many. I try to be polite and keep a distance but it is a very unpleasant situation. I feel my hands are tied.
I also try to be moral with men. I avoid to talk with them or joke, I try to avoid them.
I am very good and gentle (and in general) to KK and she is satisfied with me so she spreads positive things about me to her friends. My mistake is that I told her some personal things but not so much..I try to avoid talking about myself now which is also hard because we are spending a lot of time together. She is quiet and then, to avoid awkward silence, she is somehow pushing me to talk. I am making mistake here but I don't know what to do now.
communication new-job relationships socializing disability
asked 1 min ago
VL86
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VL86 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
add a comment |Â
up vote
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down vote
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up vote
0
down vote
favorite
I work as a personal assistant for an older blind person, I will call her KK. This is a new job for me. She is very extroverted and has a lot of friends. The thing is that her male friends are all single and 20+ older than me and some of them are blind, some of them aren't - I noticed that they flirt with me in some way, they want to approach me, to have my support, one is teasing me..and I don't know what to do in this ridiculous situation. I lied I have a boyfriend but that means nothing. I am very careful but naive as well (when I see myself later), on the other hand, I feel sorry for them and I help them. Everything is very subtle, discreet and I try to be subtle as well, I can't say things directly. I realized bit by bit that I am being manipulated. First of all, that is not my part of the job. Second, I don't want to have anything with those men. KK is single and she is..somehow..too free with those men whom she considers friends, they stay in her apartment for days. I guess they feel alone and they need a partner consciously or unconsciously but it's not my problem.
She even has an old mother who has some health problems and she needs help, her female friends too, many of them are older and sick and I am usually the one who is meant to help them in various situations when we are together. I told to KK that I am only her assistant and nobody's else and she was ok with it but as time goes by we were going back to the beginning. It turns out that I am a bad person who doesn't want to help but it's not the point. I don't know how to define my position either with men or with those women. Any advice? I can't say no, I don't want to help you or something like that..for example, we could be with her male friend who doesn't have a personal assistant, somewhere and when we do something, I help KK and I obviously have to help her friend. Then he needs something to do..and here I am. I can't forbid her to see her friends, her socialization is a part of my job. This job is a service and she is the user among many. I try to be polite and keep a distance but it is a very unpleasant situation. I feel my hands are tied.
I also try to be moral with men. I avoid to talk with them or joke, I try to avoid them.
I am very good and gentle (and in general) to KK and she is satisfied with me so she spreads positive things about me to her friends. My mistake is that I told her some personal things but not so much..I try to avoid talking about myself now which is also hard because we are spending a lot of time together. She is quiet and then, to avoid awkward silence, she is somehow pushing me to talk. I am making mistake here but I don't know what to do now.
communication new-job relationships socializing disability
asked 1 min ago
VL86
1
New contributor
VL86 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
I work as a personal assistant for an older blind person, I will call her KK. This is a new job for me. She is very extroverted and has a lot of friends. The thing is that her male friends are all single and 20+ older than me and some of them are blind, some of them aren't - I noticed that they flirt with me in some way, they want to approach me, to have my support, one is teasing me..and I don't know what to do in this ridiculous situation. I lied I have a boyfriend but that means nothing. I am very careful but naive as well (when I see myself later), on the other hand, I feel sorry for them and I help them. Everything is very subtle, discreet and I try to be subtle as well, I can't say things directly. I realized bit by bit that I am being manipulated. First of all, that is not my part of the job. Second, I don't want to have anything with those men. KK is single and she is..somehow..too free with those men whom she considers friends, they stay in her apartment for days. I guess they feel alone and they need a partner consciously or unconsciously but it's not my problem.
She even has an old mother who has some health problems and she needs help, her female friends too, many of them are older and sick and I am usually the one who is meant to help them in various situations when we are together. I told to KK that I am only her assistant and nobody's else and she was ok with it but as time goes by we were going back to the beginning. It turns out that I am a bad person who doesn't want to help but it's not the point. I don't know how to define my position either with men or with those women. Any advice? I can't say no, I don't want to help you or something like that..for example, we could be with her male friend who doesn't have a personal assistant, somewhere and when we do something, I help KK and I obviously have to help her friend. Then he needs something to do..and here I am. I can't forbid her to see her friends, her socialization is a part of my job. This job is a service and she is the user among many. I try to be polite and keep a distance but it is a very unpleasant situation. I feel my hands are tied.
I also try to be moral with men. I avoid to talk with them or joke, I try to avoid them.
I am very good and gentle (and in general) to KK and she is satisfied with me so she spreads positive things about me to her friends. My mistake is that I told her some personal things but not so much..I try to avoid talking about myself now which is also hard because we are spending a lot of time together. She is quiet and then, to avoid awkward silence, she is somehow pushing me to talk. I am making mistake here but I don't know what to do now.
communication new-job relationships socializing disability
communication new-job relationships socializing disability
asked 1 min ago
VL86
1
New contributor
VL86 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
asked 1 min ago
VL86
1
New contributor
VL86 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
asked 1 min ago
VL86
1
New contributor
VL86 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
asked 1 min ago
VL86
1
asked 1 min ago
VL86
1
1
New contributor
VL86 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
New contributor
VL86 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
VL86 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
add a comment |Â
add a comment |Â
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VL86 is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
VL86 is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
VL86 is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
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