How to point out to random coworker that they use speech patterns associated with negative stereotypes [on hold]

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up vote
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I was, like, having lunch in the company cafeteria today while working on, like, a presentation, when two coworkers (I have like no idea who they are) sat in a booth like right next to me! One of them was like speaking very animatedly about, like, a non-work topic, in like typical Valleyspeak, which this sentence tries to like, ironically illustrate. </sarcasm>

The other person was listening and seldom saying anything. (Probably slightly irritated?)

...

I didn't do anything in this situation, but I am worried that this is exactly what everyone else in my situation has done (inaction), leaving the coworker unaware of her speech patter, which to many, conveys negative associations, and is generally considered irritating. Our workplace does have resources for communication improvement (e.g. Business communication courses, Toastmasters meetings where there's a special attendant pointing out filler words etc.). Valleyspeaker could become a better communicator, and a better coworker. Of course, it's also possible that she was able to instantly switch to using regular English in a less casual situation.

How could I have acted in this situation in order to understand if she was aware of her overuse of the word "like", and point to the communication resources at our workplace, without being perceived as harassing? Or should I have not even tried? I genuinely wanted to help.

For context, Valleyspeaker was female, which made me extra cautious about any sort of unsolicited contact, given the sensitive nature of these matters in California and the US in general.

coworker feedback conversation

share|improve this question

edited 5 mins ago

asked yesterday

Dan Dascalescu

13910

put on hold as off-topic by Philip Kendall, paparazzo, jimm101, gnat, Michael Grubey 22 hours ago

This question appears to be off-topic. The users who voted to close gave this specific reason:

• "Questions require a goal that we can address. Rather than explaining the difficulties of your situation, explain what you want to do to make it better. For more information, see this meta post." – Philip Kendall, paparazzo, jimm101, Michael Grubey

If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.

• 
  
  
  

  
  3
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  Interrupting a private conversation to tell the speaker you don't like the way they talk is harassment by definition.
  – AffableAmbler
  yesterday
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  1
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  @DanDascalescu "This question is downvoted because..." some people simply have nothing better to say and to do ;-) That's live! More than once did I experience a downvote on one of my answers so fast that I wondered if the downvoter really had time to read my text or if they just voted.
  – puck
  yesterday
  
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  3
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  VOTED TO REOPEN - This was closed because it requires a goal that we can address? How about addressing the goal of stopping the valley girl talk without being seen as a harasser? The question may be silly, but it has a clear goal, IMHO.
  – Joe Strazzere
  18 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  1
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  @JoeStrazzere Agreed, silly but clear goal and answerable.
  – Mister Positive
  17 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  1
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  So, you don't like the word like interjecting speech, but you'll use a period after single words? And still call it a sentence? You're downvoted for having a double standard.
  – SiXandSeven8ths
  15 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  

 | 
show 4 more comments

up vote
-6
down vote

favorite

1

I was, like, having lunch in the company cafeteria today while working on, like, a presentation, when two coworkers (I have like no idea who they are) sat in a booth like right next to me! One of them was like speaking very animatedly about, like, a non-work topic, in like typical Valleyspeak, which this sentence tries to like, ironically illustrate. </sarcasm>

The other person was listening and seldom saying anything. (Probably slightly irritated?)

...

I didn't do anything in this situation, but I am worried that this is exactly what everyone else in my situation has done (inaction), leaving the coworker unaware of her speech patter, which to many, conveys negative associations, and is generally considered irritating. Our workplace does have resources for communication improvement (e.g. Business communication courses, Toastmasters meetings where there's a special attendant pointing out filler words etc.). Valleyspeaker could become a better communicator, and a better coworker. Of course, it's also possible that she was able to instantly switch to using regular English in a less casual situation.

How could I have acted in this situation in order to understand if she was aware of her overuse of the word "like", and point to the communication resources at our workplace, without being perceived as harassing? Or should I have not even tried? I genuinely wanted to help.

For context, Valleyspeaker was female, which made me extra cautious about any sort of unsolicited contact, given the sensitive nature of these matters in California and the US in general.

coworker feedback conversation

share|improve this question

edited 5 mins ago

asked yesterday

Dan Dascalescu

13910

put on hold as off-topic by Philip Kendall, paparazzo, jimm101, gnat, Michael Grubey 22 hours ago

This question appears to be off-topic. The users who voted to close gave this specific reason:

• "Questions require a goal that we can address. Rather than explaining the difficulties of your situation, explain what you want to do to make it better. For more information, see this meta post." – Philip Kendall, paparazzo, jimm101, Michael Grubey

If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.

• 
  
  
  

  
  3
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  Interrupting a private conversation to tell the speaker you don't like the way they talk is harassment by definition.
  – AffableAmbler
  yesterday
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  1
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  @DanDascalescu "This question is downvoted because..." some people simply have nothing better to say and to do ;-) That's live! More than once did I experience a downvote on one of my answers so fast that I wondered if the downvoter really had time to read my text or if they just voted.
  – puck
  yesterday
  
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  3
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  VOTED TO REOPEN - This was closed because it requires a goal that we can address? How about addressing the goal of stopping the valley girl talk without being seen as a harasser? The question may be silly, but it has a clear goal, IMHO.
  – Joe Strazzere
  18 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  1
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  @JoeStrazzere Agreed, silly but clear goal and answerable.
  – Mister Positive
  17 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  1
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  So, you don't like the word like interjecting speech, but you'll use a period after single words? And still call it a sentence? You're downvoted for having a double standard.
  – SiXandSeven8ths
  15 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  

 | 
show 4 more comments

up vote
-6
down vote

favorite

1

up vote
-6
down vote

favorite

1

1

I was, like, having lunch in the company cafeteria today while working on, like, a presentation, when two coworkers (I have like no idea who they are) sat in a booth like right next to me! One of them was like speaking very animatedly about, like, a non-work topic, in like typical Valleyspeak, which this sentence tries to like, ironically illustrate. </sarcasm>

The other person was listening and seldom saying anything. (Probably slightly irritated?)

...

I didn't do anything in this situation, but I am worried that this is exactly what everyone else in my situation has done (inaction), leaving the coworker unaware of her speech patter, which to many, conveys negative associations, and is generally considered irritating. Our workplace does have resources for communication improvement (e.g. Business communication courses, Toastmasters meetings where there's a special attendant pointing out filler words etc.). Valleyspeaker could become a better communicator, and a better coworker. Of course, it's also possible that she was able to instantly switch to using regular English in a less casual situation.

How could I have acted in this situation in order to understand if she was aware of her overuse of the word "like", and point to the communication resources at our workplace, without being perceived as harassing? Or should I have not even tried? I genuinely wanted to help.

For context, Valleyspeaker was female, which made me extra cautious about any sort of unsolicited contact, given the sensitive nature of these matters in California and the US in general.

coworker feedback conversation

share|improve this question

edited 5 mins ago

asked yesterday

Dan Dascalescu

13910

I was, like, having lunch in the company cafeteria today while working on, like, a presentation, when two coworkers (I have like no idea who they are) sat in a booth like right next to me! One of them was like speaking very animatedly about, like, a non-work topic, in like typical Valleyspeak, which this sentence tries to like, ironically illustrate. </sarcasm>

The other person was listening and seldom saying anything. (Probably slightly irritated?)

...

I didn't do anything in this situation, but I am worried that this is exactly what everyone else in my situation has done (inaction), leaving the coworker unaware of her speech patter, which to many, conveys negative associations, and is generally considered irritating. Our workplace does have resources for communication improvement (e.g. Business communication courses, Toastmasters meetings where there's a special attendant pointing out filler words etc.). Valleyspeaker could become a better communicator, and a better coworker. Of course, it's also possible that she was able to instantly switch to using regular English in a less casual situation.

How could I have acted in this situation in order to understand if she was aware of her overuse of the word "like", and point to the communication resources at our workplace, without being perceived as harassing? Or should I have not even tried? I genuinely wanted to help.

For context, Valleyspeaker was female, which made me extra cautious about any sort of unsolicited contact, given the sensitive nature of these matters in California and the US in general.

coworker feedback conversation

coworker feedback conversation

share|improve this question

edited 5 mins ago

asked yesterday

Dan Dascalescu

13910

share|improve this question

edited 5 mins ago

asked yesterday

Dan Dascalescu

13910

share|improve this question

share|improve this question

edited 5 mins ago

edited 5 mins ago

edited 5 mins ago

asked yesterday

Dan Dascalescu

13910

asked yesterday

Dan Dascalescu

13910

asked yesterday

Dan Dascalescu

13910

13910

put on hold as off-topic by Philip Kendall, paparazzo, jimm101, gnat, Michael Grubey 22 hours ago

This question appears to be off-topic. The users who voted to close gave this specific reason:

• "Questions require a goal that we can address. Rather than explaining the difficulties of your situation, explain what you want to do to make it better. For more information, see this meta post." – Philip Kendall, paparazzo, jimm101, Michael Grubey

If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.

put on hold as off-topic by Philip Kendall, paparazzo, jimm101, gnat, Michael Grubey 22 hours ago

This question appears to be off-topic. The users who voted to close gave this specific reason:

• "Questions require a goal that we can address. Rather than explaining the difficulties of your situation, explain what you want to do to make it better. For more information, see this meta post." – Philip Kendall, paparazzo, jimm101, Michael Grubey

If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.

• 
  
  
  

  
  3
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  Interrupting a private conversation to tell the speaker you don't like the way they talk is harassment by definition.
  – AffableAmbler
  yesterday
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  1
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  @DanDascalescu "This question is downvoted because..." some people simply have nothing better to say and to do ;-) That's live! More than once did I experience a downvote on one of my answers so fast that I wondered if the downvoter really had time to read my text or if they just voted.
  – puck
  yesterday
  
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  3
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  VOTED TO REOPEN - This was closed because it requires a goal that we can address? How about addressing the goal of stopping the valley girl talk without being seen as a harasser? The question may be silly, but it has a clear goal, IMHO.
  – Joe Strazzere
  18 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  1
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  @JoeStrazzere Agreed, silly but clear goal and answerable.
  – Mister Positive
  17 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  1
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  So, you don't like the word like interjecting speech, but you'll use a period after single words? And still call it a sentence? You're downvoted for having a double standard.
  – SiXandSeven8ths
  15 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  

 | 
show 4 more comments

• 
  
  
  

  
  3
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  Interrupting a private conversation to tell the speaker you don't like the way they talk is harassment by definition.
  – AffableAmbler
  yesterday
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  1
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  @DanDascalescu "This question is downvoted because..." some people simply have nothing better to say and to do ;-) That's live! More than once did I experience a downvote on one of my answers so fast that I wondered if the downvoter really had time to read my text or if they just voted.
  – puck
  yesterday
  
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  3
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  VOTED TO REOPEN - This was closed because it requires a goal that we can address? How about addressing the goal of stopping the valley girl talk without being seen as a harasser? The question may be silly, but it has a clear goal, IMHO.
  – Joe Strazzere
  18 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  1
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  @JoeStrazzere Agreed, silly but clear goal and answerable.
  – Mister Positive
  17 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  1
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  So, you don't like the word like interjecting speech, but you'll use a period after single words? And still call it a sentence? You're downvoted for having a double standard.
  – SiXandSeven8ths
  15 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  

3

3

Interrupting a private conversation to tell the speaker you don't like the way they talk is harassment by definition.
– AffableAmbler
yesterday

Interrupting a private conversation to tell the speaker you don't like the way they talk is harassment by definition.
– AffableAmbler
yesterday

1

1

@DanDascalescu "This question is downvoted because..." some people simply have nothing better to say and to do ;-) That's live! More than once did I experience a downvote on one of my answers so fast that I wondered if the downvoter really had time to read my text or if they just voted.
– puck
yesterday

@DanDascalescu "This question is downvoted because..." some people simply have nothing better to say and to do ;-) That's live! More than once did I experience a downvote on one of my answers so fast that I wondered if the downvoter really had time to read my text or if they just voted.
– puck
yesterday

3

3

VOTED TO REOPEN - This was closed because it requires a goal that we can address? How about addressing the goal of stopping the valley girl talk without being seen as a harasser? The question may be silly, but it has a clear goal, IMHO.
– Joe Strazzere
18 hours ago

VOTED TO REOPEN - This was closed because it requires a goal that we can address? How about addressing the goal of stopping the valley girl talk without being seen as a harasser? The question may be silly, but it has a clear goal, IMHO.
– Joe Strazzere
18 hours ago

1

1

@JoeStrazzere Agreed, silly but clear goal and answerable.
– Mister Positive
17 hours ago

@JoeStrazzere Agreed, silly but clear goal and answerable.
– Mister Positive
17 hours ago

1

1

So, you don't like the word like interjecting speech, but you'll use a period after single words? And still call it a sentence? You're downvoted for having a double standard.
– SiXandSeven8ths
15 hours ago

So, you don't like the word like interjecting speech, but you'll use a period after single words? And still call it a sentence? You're downvoted for having a double standard.
– SiXandSeven8ths
15 hours ago

 | 
show 4 more comments

2 Answers
2

active

oldest

votes

up vote
14
down vote

No there's not. You were in the cafeteria and as such have no expectation of a quiet workspace, unless your company makes it so within certain hours.

Moreover, I would be very, very reluctant to interject myself into strangers' conversations to point out their language. You don't know them and breaking into their conversation to correct someone will only be perceived as very rude. Don't do this. If it bothers you, find a different, quieter place to work, as you pointed out yourself.

share|improve this answer

answered yesterday

R-D

1,19711014

• 
  
  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  Yeah, agree. If OP was, say, in a working setting instead of personal break time, then one could possibly take the "Hey, not sure if you're aware of it, but it probably makes you sound less capable than you really are...." approach. But in the cafeteria, with a non-work discussion that OP is not even a participant in, then there's no hiding the "you just annoy me" aspect of it.
  – PoloHoleSet
  yesterday
  
  

  
  
  
  

add a comment | 

up vote
4
down vote

There may or may not be safe ways to do what you've asked about (how "safe" it is depends on how expansive you're being with the word "harasser"). A strong reason for the intervention would help, but I don't see one here.

A parallel question is: should you do this?

Others' manners of speaking are not generally going to be your business. Your assessment of a random person's speech patterns is irrelevant in just about every conceivable way. If you were her boss and you wanted her to convey a more professional tone around the office, then there might be a reason to talk with her about it.

But this is not the case-- you just happened to be annoyed. Would you ask how to point out to a random person that you don't like the clothing they picked for the day? That their hairstyle is not pleasing to you? That you think their gait could be better? These are not so different from what you describe.

So why would you insert yourself here? You would be applying your own, subjective preferences (which, in this particular case, I happen to share) to a person you don't know and a situation that neither involves you nor is intended to garner your approval, and insisting that a total stranger alter their behavior to no greater purpose than your own private satisfaction.

It's not so much that there is no method by which you could intervene, but rather that there's no real reason for you to do so.

share|improve this answer

answered yesterday

Upper_Case

41113

• 
  
  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  I see hairstyle or gait as communicating less than a manner of speaking which, like it or not, makes the speaker be "perceived as less competent, less educated, less trustworthy, less attractive, and less hirable", and has no positive connotations that I could find. On the contrary, the we all know the stereotype, and there are even classes for dropping "like" from one's speech. Using "like" tends to kill your credibility.
  – Dan Dascalescu
  yesterday
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  1
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  And all of those things are irrelevant to a random stranger. As I said, I agree with you on the desirability of that speech pattern. Even so, it's not any more your business than the other examples I listed. Further, the tone of your question strongly implies that your annoyance is what would prompt you to action, not some benevolent desire to improve the career of a total stranger.
  – Upper_Case
  14 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  

add a comment | 

2 Answers
2

active

oldest

votes

2 Answers
2

active

oldest

votes

active

oldest

votes

active

oldest

votes

up vote
14
down vote

No there's not. You were in the cafeteria and as such have no expectation of a quiet workspace, unless your company makes it so within certain hours.

Moreover, I would be very, very reluctant to interject myself into strangers' conversations to point out their language. You don't know them and breaking into their conversation to correct someone will only be perceived as very rude. Don't do this. If it bothers you, find a different, quieter place to work, as you pointed out yourself.

share|improve this answer

answered yesterday

R-D

1,19711014

• 
  
  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  Yeah, agree. If OP was, say, in a working setting instead of personal break time, then one could possibly take the "Hey, not sure if you're aware of it, but it probably makes you sound less capable than you really are...." approach. But in the cafeteria, with a non-work discussion that OP is not even a participant in, then there's no hiding the "you just annoy me" aspect of it.
  – PoloHoleSet
  yesterday
  
  

  
  
  
  

add a comment | 

up vote
14
down vote

No there's not. You were in the cafeteria and as such have no expectation of a quiet workspace, unless your company makes it so within certain hours.

Moreover, I would be very, very reluctant to interject myself into strangers' conversations to point out their language. You don't know them and breaking into their conversation to correct someone will only be perceived as very rude. Don't do this. If it bothers you, find a different, quieter place to work, as you pointed out yourself.

share|improve this answer

answered yesterday

R-D

1,19711014

• 
  
  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  Yeah, agree. If OP was, say, in a working setting instead of personal break time, then one could possibly take the "Hey, not sure if you're aware of it, but it probably makes you sound less capable than you really are...." approach. But in the cafeteria, with a non-work discussion that OP is not even a participant in, then there's no hiding the "you just annoy me" aspect of it.
  – PoloHoleSet
  yesterday
  
  

  
  
  
  

add a comment | 

up vote
14
down vote

up vote
14
down vote

No there's not. You were in the cafeteria and as such have no expectation of a quiet workspace, unless your company makes it so within certain hours.

Moreover, I would be very, very reluctant to interject myself into strangers' conversations to point out their language. You don't know them and breaking into their conversation to correct someone will only be perceived as very rude. Don't do this. If it bothers you, find a different, quieter place to work, as you pointed out yourself.

share|improve this answer

answered yesterday

R-D

1,19711014

No there's not. You were in the cafeteria and as such have no expectation of a quiet workspace, unless your company makes it so within certain hours.

Moreover, I would be very, very reluctant to interject myself into strangers' conversations to point out their language. You don't know them and breaking into their conversation to correct someone will only be perceived as very rude. Don't do this. If it bothers you, find a different, quieter place to work, as you pointed out yourself.

share|improve this answer

answered yesterday

R-D

1,19711014

share|improve this answer

share|improve this answer

answered yesterday

R-D

1,19711014

answered yesterday

R-D

1,19711014

answered yesterday

R-D

1,19711014

1,19711014

• 
  
  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  Yeah, agree. If OP was, say, in a working setting instead of personal break time, then one could possibly take the "Hey, not sure if you're aware of it, but it probably makes you sound less capable than you really are...." approach. But in the cafeteria, with a non-work discussion that OP is not even a participant in, then there's no hiding the "you just annoy me" aspect of it.
  – PoloHoleSet
  yesterday
  
  

  
  
  
  

add a comment | 

• 
  
  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  Yeah, agree. If OP was, say, in a working setting instead of personal break time, then one could possibly take the "Hey, not sure if you're aware of it, but it probably makes you sound less capable than you really are...." approach. But in the cafeteria, with a non-work discussion that OP is not even a participant in, then there's no hiding the "you just annoy me" aspect of it.
  – PoloHoleSet
  yesterday
  
  

  
  
  
  

Yeah, agree. If OP was, say, in a working setting instead of personal break time, then one could possibly take the "Hey, not sure if you're aware of it, but it probably makes you sound less capable than you really are...." approach. But in the cafeteria, with a non-work discussion that OP is not even a participant in, then there's no hiding the "you just annoy me" aspect of it.
– PoloHoleSet
yesterday

Yeah, agree. If OP was, say, in a working setting instead of personal break time, then one could possibly take the "Hey, not sure if you're aware of it, but it probably makes you sound less capable than you really are...." approach. But in the cafeteria, with a non-work discussion that OP is not even a participant in, then there's no hiding the "you just annoy me" aspect of it.
– PoloHoleSet
yesterday

add a comment | 

up vote
4
down vote

There may or may not be safe ways to do what you've asked about (how "safe" it is depends on how expansive you're being with the word "harasser"). A strong reason for the intervention would help, but I don't see one here.

A parallel question is: should you do this?

Others' manners of speaking are not generally going to be your business. Your assessment of a random person's speech patterns is irrelevant in just about every conceivable way. If you were her boss and you wanted her to convey a more professional tone around the office, then there might be a reason to talk with her about it.

But this is not the case-- you just happened to be annoyed. Would you ask how to point out to a random person that you don't like the clothing they picked for the day? That their hairstyle is not pleasing to you? That you think their gait could be better? These are not so different from what you describe.

So why would you insert yourself here? You would be applying your own, subjective preferences (which, in this particular case, I happen to share) to a person you don't know and a situation that neither involves you nor is intended to garner your approval, and insisting that a total stranger alter their behavior to no greater purpose than your own private satisfaction.

It's not so much that there is no method by which you could intervene, but rather that there's no real reason for you to do so.

share|improve this answer

answered yesterday

Upper_Case

41113

• 
  
  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  I see hairstyle or gait as communicating less than a manner of speaking which, like it or not, makes the speaker be "perceived as less competent, less educated, less trustworthy, less attractive, and less hirable", and has no positive connotations that I could find. On the contrary, the we all know the stereotype, and there are even classes for dropping "like" from one's speech. Using "like" tends to kill your credibility.
  – Dan Dascalescu
  yesterday
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  1
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  And all of those things are irrelevant to a random stranger. As I said, I agree with you on the desirability of that speech pattern. Even so, it's not any more your business than the other examples I listed. Further, the tone of your question strongly implies that your annoyance is what would prompt you to action, not some benevolent desire to improve the career of a total stranger.
  – Upper_Case
  14 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  

add a comment | 

up vote
4
down vote

There may or may not be safe ways to do what you've asked about (how "safe" it is depends on how expansive you're being with the word "harasser"). A strong reason for the intervention would help, but I don't see one here.

A parallel question is: should you do this?

Others' manners of speaking are not generally going to be your business. Your assessment of a random person's speech patterns is irrelevant in just about every conceivable way. If you were her boss and you wanted her to convey a more professional tone around the office, then there might be a reason to talk with her about it.

But this is not the case-- you just happened to be annoyed. Would you ask how to point out to a random person that you don't like the clothing they picked for the day? That their hairstyle is not pleasing to you? That you think their gait could be better? These are not so different from what you describe.

So why would you insert yourself here? You would be applying your own, subjective preferences (which, in this particular case, I happen to share) to a person you don't know and a situation that neither involves you nor is intended to garner your approval, and insisting that a total stranger alter their behavior to no greater purpose than your own private satisfaction.

It's not so much that there is no method by which you could intervene, but rather that there's no real reason for you to do so.

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answered yesterday

Upper_Case

41113

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  I see hairstyle or gait as communicating less than a manner of speaking which, like it or not, makes the speaker be "perceived as less competent, less educated, less trustworthy, less attractive, and less hirable", and has no positive connotations that I could find. On the contrary, the we all know the stereotype, and there are even classes for dropping "like" from one's speech. Using "like" tends to kill your credibility.
  – Dan Dascalescu
  yesterday
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  1
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  And all of those things are irrelevant to a random stranger. As I said, I agree with you on the desirability of that speech pattern. Even so, it's not any more your business than the other examples I listed. Further, the tone of your question strongly implies that your annoyance is what would prompt you to action, not some benevolent desire to improve the career of a total stranger.
  – Upper_Case
  14 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  

add a comment | 

up vote
4
down vote

up vote
4
down vote

There may or may not be safe ways to do what you've asked about (how "safe" it is depends on how expansive you're being with the word "harasser"). A strong reason for the intervention would help, but I don't see one here.

A parallel question is: should you do this?

Others' manners of speaking are not generally going to be your business. Your assessment of a random person's speech patterns is irrelevant in just about every conceivable way. If you were her boss and you wanted her to convey a more professional tone around the office, then there might be a reason to talk with her about it.

But this is not the case-- you just happened to be annoyed. Would you ask how to point out to a random person that you don't like the clothing they picked for the day? That their hairstyle is not pleasing to you? That you think their gait could be better? These are not so different from what you describe.

So why would you insert yourself here? You would be applying your own, subjective preferences (which, in this particular case, I happen to share) to a person you don't know and a situation that neither involves you nor is intended to garner your approval, and insisting that a total stranger alter their behavior to no greater purpose than your own private satisfaction.

It's not so much that there is no method by which you could intervene, but rather that there's no real reason for you to do so.

share|improve this answer

answered yesterday

Upper_Case

41113

There may or may not be safe ways to do what you've asked about (how "safe" it is depends on how expansive you're being with the word "harasser"). A strong reason for the intervention would help, but I don't see one here.

A parallel question is: should you do this?

Others' manners of speaking are not generally going to be your business. Your assessment of a random person's speech patterns is irrelevant in just about every conceivable way. If you were her boss and you wanted her to convey a more professional tone around the office, then there might be a reason to talk with her about it.

But this is not the case-- you just happened to be annoyed. Would you ask how to point out to a random person that you don't like the clothing they picked for the day? That their hairstyle is not pleasing to you? That you think their gait could be better? These are not so different from what you describe.

So why would you insert yourself here? You would be applying your own, subjective preferences (which, in this particular case, I happen to share) to a person you don't know and a situation that neither involves you nor is intended to garner your approval, and insisting that a total stranger alter their behavior to no greater purpose than your own private satisfaction.

It's not so much that there is no method by which you could intervene, but rather that there's no real reason for you to do so.

share|improve this answer

answered yesterday

Upper_Case

41113

share|improve this answer

share|improve this answer

answered yesterday

Upper_Case

41113

answered yesterday

Upper_Case

41113

answered yesterday

Upper_Case

41113

41113

• 
  
  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  I see hairstyle or gait as communicating less than a manner of speaking which, like it or not, makes the speaker be "perceived as less competent, less educated, less trustworthy, less attractive, and less hirable", and has no positive connotations that I could find. On the contrary, the we all know the stereotype, and there are even classes for dropping "like" from one's speech. Using "like" tends to kill your credibility.
  – Dan Dascalescu
  yesterday
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  1
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  And all of those things are irrelevant to a random stranger. As I said, I agree with you on the desirability of that speech pattern. Even so, it's not any more your business than the other examples I listed. Further, the tone of your question strongly implies that your annoyance is what would prompt you to action, not some benevolent desire to improve the career of a total stranger.
  – Upper_Case
  14 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  

add a comment | 

• 
  
  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  I see hairstyle or gait as communicating less than a manner of speaking which, like it or not, makes the speaker be "perceived as less competent, less educated, less trustworthy, less attractive, and less hirable", and has no positive connotations that I could find. On the contrary, the we all know the stereotype, and there are even classes for dropping "like" from one's speech. Using "like" tends to kill your credibility.
  – Dan Dascalescu
  yesterday
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  1
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  And all of those things are irrelevant to a random stranger. As I said, I agree with you on the desirability of that speech pattern. Even so, it's not any more your business than the other examples I listed. Further, the tone of your question strongly implies that your annoyance is what would prompt you to action, not some benevolent desire to improve the career of a total stranger.
  – Upper_Case
  14 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  

I see hairstyle or gait as communicating less than a manner of speaking which, like it or not, makes the speaker be "perceived as less competent, less educated, less trustworthy, less attractive, and less hirable", and has no positive connotations that I could find. On the contrary, the we all know the stereotype, and there are even classes for dropping "like" from one's speech. Using "like" tends to kill your credibility.
– Dan Dascalescu
yesterday

I see hairstyle or gait as communicating less than a manner of speaking which, like it or not, makes the speaker be "perceived as less competent, less educated, less trustworthy, less attractive, and less hirable", and has no positive connotations that I could find. On the contrary, the we all know the stereotype, and there are even classes for dropping "like" from one's speech. Using "like" tends to kill your credibility.
– Dan Dascalescu
yesterday

1

1

And all of those things are irrelevant to a random stranger. As I said, I agree with you on the desirability of that speech pattern. Even so, it's not any more your business than the other examples I listed. Further, the tone of your question strongly implies that your annoyance is what would prompt you to action, not some benevolent desire to improve the career of a total stranger.
– Upper_Case
14 hours ago

And all of those things are irrelevant to a random stranger. As I said, I agree with you on the desirability of that speech pattern. Even so, it's not any more your business than the other examples I listed. Further, the tone of your question strongly implies that your annoyance is what would prompt you to action, not some benevolent desire to improve the career of a total stranger.
– Upper_Case
14 hours ago

add a comment |