How do you build a healthy and productive relationship with your supervisor?

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Some graduate students and post-docs have reported serious problems with their advisors and supervisors. Some of the problems are severe enough to be career ending. Not all problems can be avoided but it is possible that some can be if the student or post-doc takes some actions, especially in their first days of the new position. The goal is to build a solid and positive relationship with the advisor from the beginning so that small problems later don't escalate.



What can a student or post-doc do, starting in their first days and weeks, to help assure a strong and positive relationship with a supervisor?



There is no assumption here that it is all up to the student, but what can a person do in a new environment to maximize their chances of having a good and lasting relationship?



Students who have done this successfully and faculty members who can help students fit in are invited to give advice.




Note that I'm not looking to collect horror stories here in which things went terribly wrong. What can the student do so that the horror scenario is unlikely to ever become an issue.










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    Some graduate students and post-docs have reported serious problems with their advisors and supervisors. Some of the problems are severe enough to be career ending. Not all problems can be avoided but it is possible that some can be if the student or post-doc takes some actions, especially in their first days of the new position. The goal is to build a solid and positive relationship with the advisor from the beginning so that small problems later don't escalate.



    What can a student or post-doc do, starting in their first days and weeks, to help assure a strong and positive relationship with a supervisor?



    There is no assumption here that it is all up to the student, but what can a person do in a new environment to maximize their chances of having a good and lasting relationship?



    Students who have done this successfully and faculty members who can help students fit in are invited to give advice.




    Note that I'm not looking to collect horror stories here in which things went terribly wrong. What can the student do so that the horror scenario is unlikely to ever become an issue.










    share|improve this question

























      up vote
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      up vote
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      Some graduate students and post-docs have reported serious problems with their advisors and supervisors. Some of the problems are severe enough to be career ending. Not all problems can be avoided but it is possible that some can be if the student or post-doc takes some actions, especially in their first days of the new position. The goal is to build a solid and positive relationship with the advisor from the beginning so that small problems later don't escalate.



      What can a student or post-doc do, starting in their first days and weeks, to help assure a strong and positive relationship with a supervisor?



      There is no assumption here that it is all up to the student, but what can a person do in a new environment to maximize their chances of having a good and lasting relationship?



      Students who have done this successfully and faculty members who can help students fit in are invited to give advice.




      Note that I'm not looking to collect horror stories here in which things went terribly wrong. What can the student do so that the horror scenario is unlikely to ever become an issue.










      share|improve this question















      Some graduate students and post-docs have reported serious problems with their advisors and supervisors. Some of the problems are severe enough to be career ending. Not all problems can be avoided but it is possible that some can be if the student or post-doc takes some actions, especially in their first days of the new position. The goal is to build a solid and positive relationship with the advisor from the beginning so that small problems later don't escalate.



      What can a student or post-doc do, starting in their first days and weeks, to help assure a strong and positive relationship with a supervisor?



      There is no assumption here that it is all up to the student, but what can a person do in a new environment to maximize their chances of having a good and lasting relationship?



      Students who have done this successfully and faculty members who can help students fit in are invited to give advice.




      Note that I'm not looking to collect horror stories here in which things went terribly wrong. What can the student do so that the horror scenario is unlikely to ever become an issue.







      graduate-school advisor postdocs






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      edited 43 mins ago

























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      Buffy

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          I would say that one of the largest things that a student/post-doc can do to foster a relationship with their advisor/mentor is establishing expectations early. This can be in the form of goals, research statements, or mutually agreed upon research plans. One of my former universities had a research statement form that students and mentors were asked to fill out. It specified what the goals of the partnership would be, what types of funding would be provided, what publications (with authorship order) were foreseen, etc. The partnerships that actually took the time to fill out the form had a much lower "failure" rate in their relationship.



          In my experience, many of the issues that arise between mentor and student center around differing expectations. Expectations about timeline, work load, authorship, copyright, publication rate, etc.



          Now, of course, this is easier said than done. As a student, it can be hard to tell an advisor that you want to discuss "expectations." Some advisors would feel affronted by being asked to establish goals and plans. One thing that I have seen students do in this case is present their advisor with personal goals that the student wants to establish for themselves. This communicates several things to the mentor:



          1. A willingness to be forward thinking and take responsibility for one's own work. It shows a "communication starts with me" approach to the relationship.

          2. An actual structure for the mentor to build upon. It is much easier to advise a student that can build a basic framework for the metrics of the partnership.

          3. A willingness to ask for feedback as a means of improving.


          I will add an sort of post script to my answer: Some mentors are anything but. Vetting an advisor can be very important for ensuring that your relationship with you mentor is positive. Part of having a good relationship with your advisor is selecting a good advisor in the first place. (Which is much easier said than done). Not every mentor is in academia because they love students. That is a reality that does need to realized here. Some professors are in academia because they are too combative to survive in the "real" world. Attempting to foster open communication with a potential advisor can act as a litmus test in this regard.






          share|improve this answer





























            up vote
            3
            down vote













            Choose a good match between supervisor and student



            I think that having a good relationship with a supervisor starts with the match between supervisor and student/postdoc. Not every supervisor is a good match for every student, so it is not as simple as "good" supervisors and not.



            I think sometimes students make foolish decisions about how they choose their supervisors: they join labs only because they are accepted or because of the reputation of an institution. They join labs without seriously considering other options, without interviewing in person, without meeting their PI, without having outside support systems.



            Admissions systems in some fields and in some countries make it worse, and abusive people can be skilled at hiding it, but the advice I always give prospective students is that advisor choice is the most important grad school decision.



            Post docs can be a bit more independent, and so they may benefit more from a fancy name or pedigree, but they should still consider what they will get out of a lab and how the mentor/mentee relationship there will fit their goals.



            Communicate regularly and honestly



            I think a good mentor/mentee relationship means that communication happens freely between the parties. For mentees, it is important to share information with your mentor at all phases of work and especially when there are difficulties. When students try to hide negative results, bad things happen.



            As a student, be prepared to deal with (and not fear) criticism and to learn and grow from it rather than be afraid. Because you are learning, you will not be perfect. Expect that, and be prepared to make and learn from your mistakes.



            Additionally, it is important to communicate expectations and goals at all phases of work. For every paper/project, figure out up front who is responsible for what, including authorship expectations. Check in with updated schedules as intended goal dates come and go.



            Along with my first point, prospective/interviewing students and post docs should be asking current students and staff about the communication style in the lab and get some sense of whether this type of honest communication will be supported or not.



            Develop other networks of support



            Sometimes, advisors might be too busy to meet all of their mentees' needs even when everything is going well in the mentor/mentee relationship. Students can avoid getting into a situation where they are stuck if they build other networks of support. Many graduate programs encourage this by forming thesis committees early that consist of other professors who can be the start of a broader network, but even if this isn't mandated students should be looking for these opportunities.



            Along with my first point about choosing a good match in the first place, students and postdocs should consider these other peripheral support networks when deciding on an institution. Don't get stuck in an institution where only one professor does anything remotely similar to what you want to study. Don't go to an institution where these other support networks are discouraged. Ask people about these things before you go.



            Moving on



            These alternative networks will be critical if your relationship with your primary advisor deteriorates, which will sometimes happen even if the mentee does everything "right." It will always be easier to move on earlier on rather than later, when too much has already been invested. Still, it is important to address issues as they come up, before there is too much baggage.



            By addressing problems early, it will be more clear whether the situation can be salvaged or not. If you wait to solve problems and try to hide or ignore them, they are unlikely to just go away and you will be stuck deeper.



            Yet again, back to my first point: choose a supervisor who works at an institution that will support you if things go wrong. There should be policies in place to support students who have problems with their advisor. Avoid institutions who do not have those sorts of policies in place or that have no support system outside of your one advisor.






            share|improve this answer






















            • This is really good answer! How the student can know whether the institution would support student, my ex-institute has been known by freedom and being supportive, however, they had protect my ex-PI although he did twice for me and another senior student.
              – Monika
              1 min ago

















            up vote
            1
            down vote













            This is really an interesting question! However, I do think there is no specific advice. Firstly, I would like to preach other potential students to take consideration of selecting a good research lab and environment, you cannot imagine how this point is critical. It is easy to say, but in reality is not as there are other factors limiting your selection: the funding, the geographic and etc. The most important thing is many people and even me get lured and overwhelmed by the advertised position and how much the project is written in very interesting manner like I had witness, and when you arrive you just recognize that the lab is so poor and you are not capable to go further because lack of facilities which is very common based on questioning other colleagues in different universities.



            The second important point which is related to the question: How I can make a good and healthy relationship with my supervisor, I bet that every one who had unfortunately found himself/herself in a toxic lab will say that we had a very good start and my PI was like an angel and I think this normal. I think the start isn't indication to unveil the real character of PI unless you go further with time. After what happened to me, I found many stories in different platform how the start was very good with their supervisor and turned to be a night-mare.



            A good device concerning this point that I had read from another platform: Dont expect to have personal relationship with you PI and expect a lot from him/her; to clarify this point clearly with good intention: that you can consider your PI is like spirit father/mother that believe on you, encourage and instill confidence, so no this is not common as PI looking to take advantage of you and he/she will not care whether you suffer or not. This previous point from my simple perspective is so critical because when I told my PI don't stop PhD as I had proved something, I told him/her this is so critical for my life and I am passionate about it, and I was crying in front him, he/she did not show any sympathy, he/she always the time was trying to undermine me, belittling every thing I did without constructive discussion besides racism as well.



            So, to sum up: Do not get lured by the sweet start, NO. Before going ask alumni and current students in the lab, try to make scrutinized investigation about the lab and PI. Then you can have a clear discussion about their expectations and make it so clear from the beginning, in end I bet you will have a reasonable good supervisor. In the end, no one can predict or control other people behavior or their covert intentions as in the end it depends highly on the personality of PI and his/her conscience to make their student goals come true and lead the student to the end of the line.



            The reality is this phenomena has been increasingly occurs from student who committed suicide to the senior student in my lab who has been disappeared. All the incidents can not make PI criminal in the law although they are killing those students, so in the recent moment as long as academia doesn't have rules that support students, you have to be careful of selection, asking, work hard as much as you can.



            Sorry for my answer, but I would like to share what I think from small experience. Wishing the good luck for the prospective students.






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              I would say that one of the largest things that a student/post-doc can do to foster a relationship with their advisor/mentor is establishing expectations early. This can be in the form of goals, research statements, or mutually agreed upon research plans. One of my former universities had a research statement form that students and mentors were asked to fill out. It specified what the goals of the partnership would be, what types of funding would be provided, what publications (with authorship order) were foreseen, etc. The partnerships that actually took the time to fill out the form had a much lower "failure" rate in their relationship.



              In my experience, many of the issues that arise between mentor and student center around differing expectations. Expectations about timeline, work load, authorship, copyright, publication rate, etc.



              Now, of course, this is easier said than done. As a student, it can be hard to tell an advisor that you want to discuss "expectations." Some advisors would feel affronted by being asked to establish goals and plans. One thing that I have seen students do in this case is present their advisor with personal goals that the student wants to establish for themselves. This communicates several things to the mentor:



              1. A willingness to be forward thinking and take responsibility for one's own work. It shows a "communication starts with me" approach to the relationship.

              2. An actual structure for the mentor to build upon. It is much easier to advise a student that can build a basic framework for the metrics of the partnership.

              3. A willingness to ask for feedback as a means of improving.


              I will add an sort of post script to my answer: Some mentors are anything but. Vetting an advisor can be very important for ensuring that your relationship with you mentor is positive. Part of having a good relationship with your advisor is selecting a good advisor in the first place. (Which is much easier said than done). Not every mentor is in academia because they love students. That is a reality that does need to realized here. Some professors are in academia because they are too combative to survive in the "real" world. Attempting to foster open communication with a potential advisor can act as a litmus test in this regard.






              share|improve this answer


























                up vote
                4
                down vote













                I would say that one of the largest things that a student/post-doc can do to foster a relationship with their advisor/mentor is establishing expectations early. This can be in the form of goals, research statements, or mutually agreed upon research plans. One of my former universities had a research statement form that students and mentors were asked to fill out. It specified what the goals of the partnership would be, what types of funding would be provided, what publications (with authorship order) were foreseen, etc. The partnerships that actually took the time to fill out the form had a much lower "failure" rate in their relationship.



                In my experience, many of the issues that arise between mentor and student center around differing expectations. Expectations about timeline, work load, authorship, copyright, publication rate, etc.



                Now, of course, this is easier said than done. As a student, it can be hard to tell an advisor that you want to discuss "expectations." Some advisors would feel affronted by being asked to establish goals and plans. One thing that I have seen students do in this case is present their advisor with personal goals that the student wants to establish for themselves. This communicates several things to the mentor:



                1. A willingness to be forward thinking and take responsibility for one's own work. It shows a "communication starts with me" approach to the relationship.

                2. An actual structure for the mentor to build upon. It is much easier to advise a student that can build a basic framework for the metrics of the partnership.

                3. A willingness to ask for feedback as a means of improving.


                I will add an sort of post script to my answer: Some mentors are anything but. Vetting an advisor can be very important for ensuring that your relationship with you mentor is positive. Part of having a good relationship with your advisor is selecting a good advisor in the first place. (Which is much easier said than done). Not every mentor is in academia because they love students. That is a reality that does need to realized here. Some professors are in academia because they are too combative to survive in the "real" world. Attempting to foster open communication with a potential advisor can act as a litmus test in this regard.






                share|improve this answer
























                  up vote
                  4
                  down vote










                  up vote
                  4
                  down vote









                  I would say that one of the largest things that a student/post-doc can do to foster a relationship with their advisor/mentor is establishing expectations early. This can be in the form of goals, research statements, or mutually agreed upon research plans. One of my former universities had a research statement form that students and mentors were asked to fill out. It specified what the goals of the partnership would be, what types of funding would be provided, what publications (with authorship order) were foreseen, etc. The partnerships that actually took the time to fill out the form had a much lower "failure" rate in their relationship.



                  In my experience, many of the issues that arise between mentor and student center around differing expectations. Expectations about timeline, work load, authorship, copyright, publication rate, etc.



                  Now, of course, this is easier said than done. As a student, it can be hard to tell an advisor that you want to discuss "expectations." Some advisors would feel affronted by being asked to establish goals and plans. One thing that I have seen students do in this case is present their advisor with personal goals that the student wants to establish for themselves. This communicates several things to the mentor:



                  1. A willingness to be forward thinking and take responsibility for one's own work. It shows a "communication starts with me" approach to the relationship.

                  2. An actual structure for the mentor to build upon. It is much easier to advise a student that can build a basic framework for the metrics of the partnership.

                  3. A willingness to ask for feedback as a means of improving.


                  I will add an sort of post script to my answer: Some mentors are anything but. Vetting an advisor can be very important for ensuring that your relationship with you mentor is positive. Part of having a good relationship with your advisor is selecting a good advisor in the first place. (Which is much easier said than done). Not every mentor is in academia because they love students. That is a reality that does need to realized here. Some professors are in academia because they are too combative to survive in the "real" world. Attempting to foster open communication with a potential advisor can act as a litmus test in this regard.






                  share|improve this answer














                  I would say that one of the largest things that a student/post-doc can do to foster a relationship with their advisor/mentor is establishing expectations early. This can be in the form of goals, research statements, or mutually agreed upon research plans. One of my former universities had a research statement form that students and mentors were asked to fill out. It specified what the goals of the partnership would be, what types of funding would be provided, what publications (with authorship order) were foreseen, etc. The partnerships that actually took the time to fill out the form had a much lower "failure" rate in their relationship.



                  In my experience, many of the issues that arise between mentor and student center around differing expectations. Expectations about timeline, work load, authorship, copyright, publication rate, etc.



                  Now, of course, this is easier said than done. As a student, it can be hard to tell an advisor that you want to discuss "expectations." Some advisors would feel affronted by being asked to establish goals and plans. One thing that I have seen students do in this case is present their advisor with personal goals that the student wants to establish for themselves. This communicates several things to the mentor:



                  1. A willingness to be forward thinking and take responsibility for one's own work. It shows a "communication starts with me" approach to the relationship.

                  2. An actual structure for the mentor to build upon. It is much easier to advise a student that can build a basic framework for the metrics of the partnership.

                  3. A willingness to ask for feedback as a means of improving.


                  I will add an sort of post script to my answer: Some mentors are anything but. Vetting an advisor can be very important for ensuring that your relationship with you mentor is positive. Part of having a good relationship with your advisor is selecting a good advisor in the first place. (Which is much easier said than done). Not every mentor is in academia because they love students. That is a reality that does need to realized here. Some professors are in academia because they are too combative to survive in the "real" world. Attempting to foster open communication with a potential advisor can act as a litmus test in this regard.







                  share|improve this answer














                  share|improve this answer



                  share|improve this answer








                  edited 4 mins ago

























                  answered 33 mins ago









                  Vladhagen

                  4,42411839




                  4,42411839




















                      up vote
                      3
                      down vote













                      Choose a good match between supervisor and student



                      I think that having a good relationship with a supervisor starts with the match between supervisor and student/postdoc. Not every supervisor is a good match for every student, so it is not as simple as "good" supervisors and not.



                      I think sometimes students make foolish decisions about how they choose their supervisors: they join labs only because they are accepted or because of the reputation of an institution. They join labs without seriously considering other options, without interviewing in person, without meeting their PI, without having outside support systems.



                      Admissions systems in some fields and in some countries make it worse, and abusive people can be skilled at hiding it, but the advice I always give prospective students is that advisor choice is the most important grad school decision.



                      Post docs can be a bit more independent, and so they may benefit more from a fancy name or pedigree, but they should still consider what they will get out of a lab and how the mentor/mentee relationship there will fit their goals.



                      Communicate regularly and honestly



                      I think a good mentor/mentee relationship means that communication happens freely between the parties. For mentees, it is important to share information with your mentor at all phases of work and especially when there are difficulties. When students try to hide negative results, bad things happen.



                      As a student, be prepared to deal with (and not fear) criticism and to learn and grow from it rather than be afraid. Because you are learning, you will not be perfect. Expect that, and be prepared to make and learn from your mistakes.



                      Additionally, it is important to communicate expectations and goals at all phases of work. For every paper/project, figure out up front who is responsible for what, including authorship expectations. Check in with updated schedules as intended goal dates come and go.



                      Along with my first point, prospective/interviewing students and post docs should be asking current students and staff about the communication style in the lab and get some sense of whether this type of honest communication will be supported or not.



                      Develop other networks of support



                      Sometimes, advisors might be too busy to meet all of their mentees' needs even when everything is going well in the mentor/mentee relationship. Students can avoid getting into a situation where they are stuck if they build other networks of support. Many graduate programs encourage this by forming thesis committees early that consist of other professors who can be the start of a broader network, but even if this isn't mandated students should be looking for these opportunities.



                      Along with my first point about choosing a good match in the first place, students and postdocs should consider these other peripheral support networks when deciding on an institution. Don't get stuck in an institution where only one professor does anything remotely similar to what you want to study. Don't go to an institution where these other support networks are discouraged. Ask people about these things before you go.



                      Moving on



                      These alternative networks will be critical if your relationship with your primary advisor deteriorates, which will sometimes happen even if the mentee does everything "right." It will always be easier to move on earlier on rather than later, when too much has already been invested. Still, it is important to address issues as they come up, before there is too much baggage.



                      By addressing problems early, it will be more clear whether the situation can be salvaged or not. If you wait to solve problems and try to hide or ignore them, they are unlikely to just go away and you will be stuck deeper.



                      Yet again, back to my first point: choose a supervisor who works at an institution that will support you if things go wrong. There should be policies in place to support students who have problems with their advisor. Avoid institutions who do not have those sorts of policies in place or that have no support system outside of your one advisor.






                      share|improve this answer






















                      • This is really good answer! How the student can know whether the institution would support student, my ex-institute has been known by freedom and being supportive, however, they had protect my ex-PI although he did twice for me and another senior student.
                        – Monika
                        1 min ago














                      up vote
                      3
                      down vote













                      Choose a good match between supervisor and student



                      I think that having a good relationship with a supervisor starts with the match between supervisor and student/postdoc. Not every supervisor is a good match for every student, so it is not as simple as "good" supervisors and not.



                      I think sometimes students make foolish decisions about how they choose their supervisors: they join labs only because they are accepted or because of the reputation of an institution. They join labs without seriously considering other options, without interviewing in person, without meeting their PI, without having outside support systems.



                      Admissions systems in some fields and in some countries make it worse, and abusive people can be skilled at hiding it, but the advice I always give prospective students is that advisor choice is the most important grad school decision.



                      Post docs can be a bit more independent, and so they may benefit more from a fancy name or pedigree, but they should still consider what they will get out of a lab and how the mentor/mentee relationship there will fit their goals.



                      Communicate regularly and honestly



                      I think a good mentor/mentee relationship means that communication happens freely between the parties. For mentees, it is important to share information with your mentor at all phases of work and especially when there are difficulties. When students try to hide negative results, bad things happen.



                      As a student, be prepared to deal with (and not fear) criticism and to learn and grow from it rather than be afraid. Because you are learning, you will not be perfect. Expect that, and be prepared to make and learn from your mistakes.



                      Additionally, it is important to communicate expectations and goals at all phases of work. For every paper/project, figure out up front who is responsible for what, including authorship expectations. Check in with updated schedules as intended goal dates come and go.



                      Along with my first point, prospective/interviewing students and post docs should be asking current students and staff about the communication style in the lab and get some sense of whether this type of honest communication will be supported or not.



                      Develop other networks of support



                      Sometimes, advisors might be too busy to meet all of their mentees' needs even when everything is going well in the mentor/mentee relationship. Students can avoid getting into a situation where they are stuck if they build other networks of support. Many graduate programs encourage this by forming thesis committees early that consist of other professors who can be the start of a broader network, but even if this isn't mandated students should be looking for these opportunities.



                      Along with my first point about choosing a good match in the first place, students and postdocs should consider these other peripheral support networks when deciding on an institution. Don't get stuck in an institution where only one professor does anything remotely similar to what you want to study. Don't go to an institution where these other support networks are discouraged. Ask people about these things before you go.



                      Moving on



                      These alternative networks will be critical if your relationship with your primary advisor deteriorates, which will sometimes happen even if the mentee does everything "right." It will always be easier to move on earlier on rather than later, when too much has already been invested. Still, it is important to address issues as they come up, before there is too much baggage.



                      By addressing problems early, it will be more clear whether the situation can be salvaged or not. If you wait to solve problems and try to hide or ignore them, they are unlikely to just go away and you will be stuck deeper.



                      Yet again, back to my first point: choose a supervisor who works at an institution that will support you if things go wrong. There should be policies in place to support students who have problems with their advisor. Avoid institutions who do not have those sorts of policies in place or that have no support system outside of your one advisor.






                      share|improve this answer






















                      • This is really good answer! How the student can know whether the institution would support student, my ex-institute has been known by freedom and being supportive, however, they had protect my ex-PI although he did twice for me and another senior student.
                        – Monika
                        1 min ago












                      up vote
                      3
                      down vote










                      up vote
                      3
                      down vote









                      Choose a good match between supervisor and student



                      I think that having a good relationship with a supervisor starts with the match between supervisor and student/postdoc. Not every supervisor is a good match for every student, so it is not as simple as "good" supervisors and not.



                      I think sometimes students make foolish decisions about how they choose their supervisors: they join labs only because they are accepted or because of the reputation of an institution. They join labs without seriously considering other options, without interviewing in person, without meeting their PI, without having outside support systems.



                      Admissions systems in some fields and in some countries make it worse, and abusive people can be skilled at hiding it, but the advice I always give prospective students is that advisor choice is the most important grad school decision.



                      Post docs can be a bit more independent, and so they may benefit more from a fancy name or pedigree, but they should still consider what they will get out of a lab and how the mentor/mentee relationship there will fit their goals.



                      Communicate regularly and honestly



                      I think a good mentor/mentee relationship means that communication happens freely between the parties. For mentees, it is important to share information with your mentor at all phases of work and especially when there are difficulties. When students try to hide negative results, bad things happen.



                      As a student, be prepared to deal with (and not fear) criticism and to learn and grow from it rather than be afraid. Because you are learning, you will not be perfect. Expect that, and be prepared to make and learn from your mistakes.



                      Additionally, it is important to communicate expectations and goals at all phases of work. For every paper/project, figure out up front who is responsible for what, including authorship expectations. Check in with updated schedules as intended goal dates come and go.



                      Along with my first point, prospective/interviewing students and post docs should be asking current students and staff about the communication style in the lab and get some sense of whether this type of honest communication will be supported or not.



                      Develop other networks of support



                      Sometimes, advisors might be too busy to meet all of their mentees' needs even when everything is going well in the mentor/mentee relationship. Students can avoid getting into a situation where they are stuck if they build other networks of support. Many graduate programs encourage this by forming thesis committees early that consist of other professors who can be the start of a broader network, but even if this isn't mandated students should be looking for these opportunities.



                      Along with my first point about choosing a good match in the first place, students and postdocs should consider these other peripheral support networks when deciding on an institution. Don't get stuck in an institution where only one professor does anything remotely similar to what you want to study. Don't go to an institution where these other support networks are discouraged. Ask people about these things before you go.



                      Moving on



                      These alternative networks will be critical if your relationship with your primary advisor deteriorates, which will sometimes happen even if the mentee does everything "right." It will always be easier to move on earlier on rather than later, when too much has already been invested. Still, it is important to address issues as they come up, before there is too much baggage.



                      By addressing problems early, it will be more clear whether the situation can be salvaged or not. If you wait to solve problems and try to hide or ignore them, they are unlikely to just go away and you will be stuck deeper.



                      Yet again, back to my first point: choose a supervisor who works at an institution that will support you if things go wrong. There should be policies in place to support students who have problems with their advisor. Avoid institutions who do not have those sorts of policies in place or that have no support system outside of your one advisor.






                      share|improve this answer














                      Choose a good match between supervisor and student



                      I think that having a good relationship with a supervisor starts with the match between supervisor and student/postdoc. Not every supervisor is a good match for every student, so it is not as simple as "good" supervisors and not.



                      I think sometimes students make foolish decisions about how they choose their supervisors: they join labs only because they are accepted or because of the reputation of an institution. They join labs without seriously considering other options, without interviewing in person, without meeting their PI, without having outside support systems.



                      Admissions systems in some fields and in some countries make it worse, and abusive people can be skilled at hiding it, but the advice I always give prospective students is that advisor choice is the most important grad school decision.



                      Post docs can be a bit more independent, and so they may benefit more from a fancy name or pedigree, but they should still consider what they will get out of a lab and how the mentor/mentee relationship there will fit their goals.



                      Communicate regularly and honestly



                      I think a good mentor/mentee relationship means that communication happens freely between the parties. For mentees, it is important to share information with your mentor at all phases of work and especially when there are difficulties. When students try to hide negative results, bad things happen.



                      As a student, be prepared to deal with (and not fear) criticism and to learn and grow from it rather than be afraid. Because you are learning, you will not be perfect. Expect that, and be prepared to make and learn from your mistakes.



                      Additionally, it is important to communicate expectations and goals at all phases of work. For every paper/project, figure out up front who is responsible for what, including authorship expectations. Check in with updated schedules as intended goal dates come and go.



                      Along with my first point, prospective/interviewing students and post docs should be asking current students and staff about the communication style in the lab and get some sense of whether this type of honest communication will be supported or not.



                      Develop other networks of support



                      Sometimes, advisors might be too busy to meet all of their mentees' needs even when everything is going well in the mentor/mentee relationship. Students can avoid getting into a situation where they are stuck if they build other networks of support. Many graduate programs encourage this by forming thesis committees early that consist of other professors who can be the start of a broader network, but even if this isn't mandated students should be looking for these opportunities.



                      Along with my first point about choosing a good match in the first place, students and postdocs should consider these other peripheral support networks when deciding on an institution. Don't get stuck in an institution where only one professor does anything remotely similar to what you want to study. Don't go to an institution where these other support networks are discouraged. Ask people about these things before you go.



                      Moving on



                      These alternative networks will be critical if your relationship with your primary advisor deteriorates, which will sometimes happen even if the mentee does everything "right." It will always be easier to move on earlier on rather than later, when too much has already been invested. Still, it is important to address issues as they come up, before there is too much baggage.



                      By addressing problems early, it will be more clear whether the situation can be salvaged or not. If you wait to solve problems and try to hide or ignore them, they are unlikely to just go away and you will be stuck deeper.



                      Yet again, back to my first point: choose a supervisor who works at an institution that will support you if things go wrong. There should be policies in place to support students who have problems with their advisor. Avoid institutions who do not have those sorts of policies in place or that have no support system outside of your one advisor.







                      share|improve this answer














                      share|improve this answer



                      share|improve this answer








                      edited 5 mins ago

























                      answered 17 mins ago









                      Bryan Krause

                      10.1k13051




                      10.1k13051











                      • This is really good answer! How the student can know whether the institution would support student, my ex-institute has been known by freedom and being supportive, however, they had protect my ex-PI although he did twice for me and another senior student.
                        – Monika
                        1 min ago
















                      • This is really good answer! How the student can know whether the institution would support student, my ex-institute has been known by freedom and being supportive, however, they had protect my ex-PI although he did twice for me and another senior student.
                        – Monika
                        1 min ago















                      This is really good answer! How the student can know whether the institution would support student, my ex-institute has been known by freedom and being supportive, however, they had protect my ex-PI although he did twice for me and another senior student.
                      – Monika
                      1 min ago




                      This is really good answer! How the student can know whether the institution would support student, my ex-institute has been known by freedom and being supportive, however, they had protect my ex-PI although he did twice for me and another senior student.
                      – Monika
                      1 min ago










                      up vote
                      1
                      down vote













                      This is really an interesting question! However, I do think there is no specific advice. Firstly, I would like to preach other potential students to take consideration of selecting a good research lab and environment, you cannot imagine how this point is critical. It is easy to say, but in reality is not as there are other factors limiting your selection: the funding, the geographic and etc. The most important thing is many people and even me get lured and overwhelmed by the advertised position and how much the project is written in very interesting manner like I had witness, and when you arrive you just recognize that the lab is so poor and you are not capable to go further because lack of facilities which is very common based on questioning other colleagues in different universities.



                      The second important point which is related to the question: How I can make a good and healthy relationship with my supervisor, I bet that every one who had unfortunately found himself/herself in a toxic lab will say that we had a very good start and my PI was like an angel and I think this normal. I think the start isn't indication to unveil the real character of PI unless you go further with time. After what happened to me, I found many stories in different platform how the start was very good with their supervisor and turned to be a night-mare.



                      A good device concerning this point that I had read from another platform: Dont expect to have personal relationship with you PI and expect a lot from him/her; to clarify this point clearly with good intention: that you can consider your PI is like spirit father/mother that believe on you, encourage and instill confidence, so no this is not common as PI looking to take advantage of you and he/she will not care whether you suffer or not. This previous point from my simple perspective is so critical because when I told my PI don't stop PhD as I had proved something, I told him/her this is so critical for my life and I am passionate about it, and I was crying in front him, he/she did not show any sympathy, he/she always the time was trying to undermine me, belittling every thing I did without constructive discussion besides racism as well.



                      So, to sum up: Do not get lured by the sweet start, NO. Before going ask alumni and current students in the lab, try to make scrutinized investigation about the lab and PI. Then you can have a clear discussion about their expectations and make it so clear from the beginning, in end I bet you will have a reasonable good supervisor. In the end, no one can predict or control other people behavior or their covert intentions as in the end it depends highly on the personality of PI and his/her conscience to make their student goals come true and lead the student to the end of the line.



                      The reality is this phenomena has been increasingly occurs from student who committed suicide to the senior student in my lab who has been disappeared. All the incidents can not make PI criminal in the law although they are killing those students, so in the recent moment as long as academia doesn't have rules that support students, you have to be careful of selection, asking, work hard as much as you can.



                      Sorry for my answer, but I would like to share what I think from small experience. Wishing the good luck for the prospective students.






                      share|improve this answer
























                        up vote
                        1
                        down vote













                        This is really an interesting question! However, I do think there is no specific advice. Firstly, I would like to preach other potential students to take consideration of selecting a good research lab and environment, you cannot imagine how this point is critical. It is easy to say, but in reality is not as there are other factors limiting your selection: the funding, the geographic and etc. The most important thing is many people and even me get lured and overwhelmed by the advertised position and how much the project is written in very interesting manner like I had witness, and when you arrive you just recognize that the lab is so poor and you are not capable to go further because lack of facilities which is very common based on questioning other colleagues in different universities.



                        The second important point which is related to the question: How I can make a good and healthy relationship with my supervisor, I bet that every one who had unfortunately found himself/herself in a toxic lab will say that we had a very good start and my PI was like an angel and I think this normal. I think the start isn't indication to unveil the real character of PI unless you go further with time. After what happened to me, I found many stories in different platform how the start was very good with their supervisor and turned to be a night-mare.



                        A good device concerning this point that I had read from another platform: Dont expect to have personal relationship with you PI and expect a lot from him/her; to clarify this point clearly with good intention: that you can consider your PI is like spirit father/mother that believe on you, encourage and instill confidence, so no this is not common as PI looking to take advantage of you and he/she will not care whether you suffer or not. This previous point from my simple perspective is so critical because when I told my PI don't stop PhD as I had proved something, I told him/her this is so critical for my life and I am passionate about it, and I was crying in front him, he/she did not show any sympathy, he/she always the time was trying to undermine me, belittling every thing I did without constructive discussion besides racism as well.



                        So, to sum up: Do not get lured by the sweet start, NO. Before going ask alumni and current students in the lab, try to make scrutinized investigation about the lab and PI. Then you can have a clear discussion about their expectations and make it so clear from the beginning, in end I bet you will have a reasonable good supervisor. In the end, no one can predict or control other people behavior or their covert intentions as in the end it depends highly on the personality of PI and his/her conscience to make their student goals come true and lead the student to the end of the line.



                        The reality is this phenomena has been increasingly occurs from student who committed suicide to the senior student in my lab who has been disappeared. All the incidents can not make PI criminal in the law although they are killing those students, so in the recent moment as long as academia doesn't have rules that support students, you have to be careful of selection, asking, work hard as much as you can.



                        Sorry for my answer, but I would like to share what I think from small experience. Wishing the good luck for the prospective students.






                        share|improve this answer






















                          up vote
                          1
                          down vote










                          up vote
                          1
                          down vote









                          This is really an interesting question! However, I do think there is no specific advice. Firstly, I would like to preach other potential students to take consideration of selecting a good research lab and environment, you cannot imagine how this point is critical. It is easy to say, but in reality is not as there are other factors limiting your selection: the funding, the geographic and etc. The most important thing is many people and even me get lured and overwhelmed by the advertised position and how much the project is written in very interesting manner like I had witness, and when you arrive you just recognize that the lab is so poor and you are not capable to go further because lack of facilities which is very common based on questioning other colleagues in different universities.



                          The second important point which is related to the question: How I can make a good and healthy relationship with my supervisor, I bet that every one who had unfortunately found himself/herself in a toxic lab will say that we had a very good start and my PI was like an angel and I think this normal. I think the start isn't indication to unveil the real character of PI unless you go further with time. After what happened to me, I found many stories in different platform how the start was very good with their supervisor and turned to be a night-mare.



                          A good device concerning this point that I had read from another platform: Dont expect to have personal relationship with you PI and expect a lot from him/her; to clarify this point clearly with good intention: that you can consider your PI is like spirit father/mother that believe on you, encourage and instill confidence, so no this is not common as PI looking to take advantage of you and he/she will not care whether you suffer or not. This previous point from my simple perspective is so critical because when I told my PI don't stop PhD as I had proved something, I told him/her this is so critical for my life and I am passionate about it, and I was crying in front him, he/she did not show any sympathy, he/she always the time was trying to undermine me, belittling every thing I did without constructive discussion besides racism as well.



                          So, to sum up: Do not get lured by the sweet start, NO. Before going ask alumni and current students in the lab, try to make scrutinized investigation about the lab and PI. Then you can have a clear discussion about their expectations and make it so clear from the beginning, in end I bet you will have a reasonable good supervisor. In the end, no one can predict or control other people behavior or their covert intentions as in the end it depends highly on the personality of PI and his/her conscience to make their student goals come true and lead the student to the end of the line.



                          The reality is this phenomena has been increasingly occurs from student who committed suicide to the senior student in my lab who has been disappeared. All the incidents can not make PI criminal in the law although they are killing those students, so in the recent moment as long as academia doesn't have rules that support students, you have to be careful of selection, asking, work hard as much as you can.



                          Sorry for my answer, but I would like to share what I think from small experience. Wishing the good luck for the prospective students.






                          share|improve this answer












                          This is really an interesting question! However, I do think there is no specific advice. Firstly, I would like to preach other potential students to take consideration of selecting a good research lab and environment, you cannot imagine how this point is critical. It is easy to say, but in reality is not as there are other factors limiting your selection: the funding, the geographic and etc. The most important thing is many people and even me get lured and overwhelmed by the advertised position and how much the project is written in very interesting manner like I had witness, and when you arrive you just recognize that the lab is so poor and you are not capable to go further because lack of facilities which is very common based on questioning other colleagues in different universities.



                          The second important point which is related to the question: How I can make a good and healthy relationship with my supervisor, I bet that every one who had unfortunately found himself/herself in a toxic lab will say that we had a very good start and my PI was like an angel and I think this normal. I think the start isn't indication to unveil the real character of PI unless you go further with time. After what happened to me, I found many stories in different platform how the start was very good with their supervisor and turned to be a night-mare.



                          A good device concerning this point that I had read from another platform: Dont expect to have personal relationship with you PI and expect a lot from him/her; to clarify this point clearly with good intention: that you can consider your PI is like spirit father/mother that believe on you, encourage and instill confidence, so no this is not common as PI looking to take advantage of you and he/she will not care whether you suffer or not. This previous point from my simple perspective is so critical because when I told my PI don't stop PhD as I had proved something, I told him/her this is so critical for my life and I am passionate about it, and I was crying in front him, he/she did not show any sympathy, he/she always the time was trying to undermine me, belittling every thing I did without constructive discussion besides racism as well.



                          So, to sum up: Do not get lured by the sweet start, NO. Before going ask alumni and current students in the lab, try to make scrutinized investigation about the lab and PI. Then you can have a clear discussion about their expectations and make it so clear from the beginning, in end I bet you will have a reasonable good supervisor. In the end, no one can predict or control other people behavior or their covert intentions as in the end it depends highly on the personality of PI and his/her conscience to make their student goals come true and lead the student to the end of the line.



                          The reality is this phenomena has been increasingly occurs from student who committed suicide to the senior student in my lab who has been disappeared. All the incidents can not make PI criminal in the law although they are killing those students, so in the recent moment as long as academia doesn't have rules that support students, you have to be careful of selection, asking, work hard as much as you can.



                          Sorry for my answer, but I would like to share what I think from small experience. Wishing the good luck for the prospective students.







                          share|improve this answer












                          share|improve this answer



                          share|improve this answer










                          answered 25 mins ago









                          Monika

                          1697




                          1697



























                               

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