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Is my story pacing too fast?
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I have a quick question- I'm just a bit confused about the story I'm writing.
So earlier today I posted the first chapter of my story, and someone commented that the story "escalated too fast for me to comprehend". Naturally, I went back and read over my chapter, but everything seemed fine. I didn't see anything wrong with the pacing, really, it might've been a bit rushed, but I couldn't think of a way to fix it.
The events are, in order:
MC heads off to work to confront her boss about something;
MC collapses and is taken to the hospital, where she then wakes up;
MC is offered a ride to a restaurant by her boss, who was there at the hospital waiting for her to wake up;
MC and boss get into a car crash on the way there
The chapter is almost 3000 words long, if that helps in any way, and there are little spaces so the reader knows where the time skips are.
I do understand that there is quite a bit going on during one day, but for the story and sake of plot, I kinda need those things to happen around the first or second chapter so that I can get to the climax a bit quicker. (the story that I've planned is actually pretty long, and on the website that I'm publishing it on longer stories aren't accepted that much, so I'm trying to shorten mine up)
creative-writing fantasy pacing
asked 4 hours ago
ScarletRain
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up vote
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I have a quick question- I'm just a bit confused about the story I'm writing.
So earlier today I posted the first chapter of my story, and someone commented that the story "escalated too fast for me to comprehend". Naturally, I went back and read over my chapter, but everything seemed fine. I didn't see anything wrong with the pacing, really, it might've been a bit rushed, but I couldn't think of a way to fix it.
The events are, in order:
MC heads off to work to confront her boss about something;
MC collapses and is taken to the hospital, where she then wakes up;
MC is offered a ride to a restaurant by her boss, who was there at the hospital waiting for her to wake up;
MC and boss get into a car crash on the way there
The chapter is almost 3000 words long, if that helps in any way, and there are little spaces so the reader knows where the time skips are.
I do understand that there is quite a bit going on during one day, but for the story and sake of plot, I kinda need those things to happen around the first or second chapter so that I can get to the climax a bit quicker. (the story that I've planned is actually pretty long, and on the website that I'm publishing it on longer stories aren't accepted that much, so I'm trying to shorten mine up)
creative-writing fantasy pacing
asked 4 hours ago
ScarletRain
111
New contributor
ScarletRain is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
Well, I can see that there is a lot happening in just the first chapter. If the events follow a logical order and it's realistic enough, then it migh be fine. If your fear is that your story may not be accepted because of its length, then maybe you should consider publishing it in another website in order to have a desired result.
– Marian-Danny
4 hours ago
add a comment |Â
up vote
2
down vote
favorite
up vote
2
down vote
favorite
I have a quick question- I'm just a bit confused about the story I'm writing.
So earlier today I posted the first chapter of my story, and someone commented that the story "escalated too fast for me to comprehend". Naturally, I went back and read over my chapter, but everything seemed fine. I didn't see anything wrong with the pacing, really, it might've been a bit rushed, but I couldn't think of a way to fix it.
The events are, in order:
MC heads off to work to confront her boss about something;
MC collapses and is taken to the hospital, where she then wakes up;
MC is offered a ride to a restaurant by her boss, who was there at the hospital waiting for her to wake up;
MC and boss get into a car crash on the way there
The chapter is almost 3000 words long, if that helps in any way, and there are little spaces so the reader knows where the time skips are.
I do understand that there is quite a bit going on during one day, but for the story and sake of plot, I kinda need those things to happen around the first or second chapter so that I can get to the climax a bit quicker. (the story that I've planned is actually pretty long, and on the website that I'm publishing it on longer stories aren't accepted that much, so I'm trying to shorten mine up)
creative-writing fantasy pacing
asked 4 hours ago
ScarletRain
111
New contributor
ScarletRain is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
I have a quick question- I'm just a bit confused about the story I'm writing.
So earlier today I posted the first chapter of my story, and someone commented that the story "escalated too fast for me to comprehend". Naturally, I went back and read over my chapter, but everything seemed fine. I didn't see anything wrong with the pacing, really, it might've been a bit rushed, but I couldn't think of a way to fix it.
The events are, in order:
MC heads off to work to confront her boss about something;
MC collapses and is taken to the hospital, where she then wakes up;
MC is offered a ride to a restaurant by her boss, who was there at the hospital waiting for her to wake up;
MC and boss get into a car crash on the way there
The chapter is almost 3000 words long, if that helps in any way, and there are little spaces so the reader knows where the time skips are.
I do understand that there is quite a bit going on during one day, but for the story and sake of plot, I kinda need those things to happen around the first or second chapter so that I can get to the climax a bit quicker. (the story that I've planned is actually pretty long, and on the website that I'm publishing it on longer stories aren't accepted that much, so I'm trying to shorten mine up)
creative-writing fantasy pacing
creative-writing fantasy pacing
asked 4 hours ago
ScarletRain
111
New contributor
ScarletRain is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
asked 4 hours ago
ScarletRain
111
New contributor
ScarletRain is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
asked 4 hours ago
ScarletRain
111
New contributor
ScarletRain is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
asked 4 hours ago
ScarletRain
111
asked 4 hours ago
ScarletRain
111
111
New contributor
ScarletRain is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
New contributor
ScarletRain is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
ScarletRain is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
Well, I can see that there is a lot happening in just the first chapter. If the events follow a logical order and it's realistic enough, then it migh be fine. If your fear is that your story may not be accepted because of its length, then maybe you should consider publishing it in another website in order to have a desired result.
– Marian-Danny
4 hours ago
add a comment |Â
Well, I can see that there is a lot happening in just the first chapter. If the events follow a logical order and it's realistic enough, then it migh be fine. If your fear is that your story may not be accepted because of its length, then maybe you should consider publishing it in another website in order to have a desired result.
– Marian-Danny
4 hours ago
Well, I can see that there is a lot happening in just the first chapter. If the events follow a logical order and it's realistic enough, then it migh be fine. If your fear is that your story may not be accepted because of its length, then maybe you should consider publishing it in another website in order to have a desired result.
– Marian-Danny
4 hours ago
Well, I can see that there is a lot happening in just the first chapter. If the events follow a logical order and it's realistic enough, then it migh be fine. If your fear is that your story may not be accepted because of its length, then maybe you should consider publishing it in another website in order to have a desired result.
– Marian-Danny
4 hours ago
add a comment |Â
2 Answers
2
active
oldest
votes
up vote
2
down vote
Several comments, in no particular order:
1) Sometimes the problem with pacing is in the transitions from scene to scene and not in the actual pace of the action. A few extra words at each transition might make a world of difference.
2) Read your chapter out loud to people. That really forces you to experience the work in a different way and often highlights problems that are easy to gloss over when you're reading it.
3) Get opinions from more people.
4) That's a heck of a lot of stuff happening in a space that isn't even as long as a short story. It is possible to pull it off but it won't be easy.
answered 2 hours ago
Cyn
4315
add a comment |Â
up vote
1
down vote
From the way you're telling it, I'd point my fingers against the time-skips. Apart from the necessary time-skip when the MC is unconscious (and you could fill it up with descriptions, dreams or maybe far-off memories) any other time skip is essentialy reducing word count, making the story seem shorter, and make the two traumatic events closer together.
What that person meant with "escalated too fast for me to comprehend" is that your reader doens't have the time to deal with the MC falling unconscious before the car crash.
The first chapter is often used to introduce the characters and the setting to the reader; you have to do this while dealing with two sudden incidents.
My suggestion is actually write something in those time skips. For example, about the MC falling uncoscious:
Alice felt her body grow heavy and her knees bend. She heard the low thud of an heavy object hitting the carpet of her boss office - part of her mind realized it was the sound made by her own body, falling. But her mind was distant, blank, and her vision blurred to darkness.
She dreamt of being in a back in fifth grade, her sudden sleep only somewhat troubled by excited voices around her, and then silence <whatever you'd like to insert here> when she wok up, she was surrounded by white hospital walls.
The same can be done for other time skips, too. When she wakes, the reader will expect some space to breathe. Show her talking to her boss and make the situation between the two straight. If she gets dismissed from the hospital, describe the whole scene. Throw in a dialogue or two with doctors and nurses. I know those things can be boring to write, since they are not the focus of the story, but they add realism and they will make your reader acclimate.
Remember, you want to avoid the feeling that your story may seem like a check-list of events.
You can absolutely deal with both the car crash and the fainting in two chapters, you just have to be smoother on the edges.
answered 35 mins ago
Liquid
2,880629
add a comment |Â
2 Answers
2
active
oldest
votes
2 Answers
2
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
up vote
2
down vote
Several comments, in no particular order:
1) Sometimes the problem with pacing is in the transitions from scene to scene and not in the actual pace of the action. A few extra words at each transition might make a world of difference.
2) Read your chapter out loud to people. That really forces you to experience the work in a different way and often highlights problems that are easy to gloss over when you're reading it.
3) Get opinions from more people.
4) That's a heck of a lot of stuff happening in a space that isn't even as long as a short story. It is possible to pull it off but it won't be easy.
answered 2 hours ago
Cyn
4315
add a comment |Â
up vote
2
down vote
Several comments, in no particular order:
1) Sometimes the problem with pacing is in the transitions from scene to scene and not in the actual pace of the action. A few extra words at each transition might make a world of difference.
2) Read your chapter out loud to people. That really forces you to experience the work in a different way and often highlights problems that are easy to gloss over when you're reading it.
3) Get opinions from more people.
4) That's a heck of a lot of stuff happening in a space that isn't even as long as a short story. It is possible to pull it off but it won't be easy.
answered 2 hours ago
Cyn
4315
add a comment |Â
up vote
2
down vote
up vote
2
down vote
Several comments, in no particular order:
1) Sometimes the problem with pacing is in the transitions from scene to scene and not in the actual pace of the action. A few extra words at each transition might make a world of difference.
2) Read your chapter out loud to people. That really forces you to experience the work in a different way and often highlights problems that are easy to gloss over when you're reading it.
3) Get opinions from more people.
4) That's a heck of a lot of stuff happening in a space that isn't even as long as a short story. It is possible to pull it off but it won't be easy.
answered 2 hours ago
Cyn
4315
Several comments, in no particular order:
1) Sometimes the problem with pacing is in the transitions from scene to scene and not in the actual pace of the action. A few extra words at each transition might make a world of difference.
2) Read your chapter out loud to people. That really forces you to experience the work in a different way and often highlights problems that are easy to gloss over when you're reading it.
3) Get opinions from more people.
4) That's a heck of a lot of stuff happening in a space that isn't even as long as a short story. It is possible to pull it off but it won't be easy.
answered 2 hours ago
Cyn
4315
answered 2 hours ago
Cyn
4315
answered 2 hours ago
Cyn
4315
answered 2 hours ago
Cyn
4315
4315
add a comment |Â
add a comment |Â
up vote
1
down vote
From the way you're telling it, I'd point my fingers against the time-skips. Apart from the necessary time-skip when the MC is unconscious (and you could fill it up with descriptions, dreams or maybe far-off memories) any other time skip is essentialy reducing word count, making the story seem shorter, and make the two traumatic events closer together.
What that person meant with "escalated too fast for me to comprehend" is that your reader doens't have the time to deal with the MC falling unconscious before the car crash.
The first chapter is often used to introduce the characters and the setting to the reader; you have to do this while dealing with two sudden incidents.
My suggestion is actually write something in those time skips. For example, about the MC falling uncoscious:
Alice felt her body grow heavy and her knees bend. She heard the low thud of an heavy object hitting the carpet of her boss office - part of her mind realized it was the sound made by her own body, falling. But her mind was distant, blank, and her vision blurred to darkness.
She dreamt of being in a back in fifth grade, her sudden sleep only somewhat troubled by excited voices around her, and then silence <whatever you'd like to insert here> when she wok up, she was surrounded by white hospital walls.
The same can be done for other time skips, too. When she wakes, the reader will expect some space to breathe. Show her talking to her boss and make the situation between the two straight. If she gets dismissed from the hospital, describe the whole scene. Throw in a dialogue or two with doctors and nurses. I know those things can be boring to write, since they are not the focus of the story, but they add realism and they will make your reader acclimate.
Remember, you want to avoid the feeling that your story may seem like a check-list of events.
You can absolutely deal with both the car crash and the fainting in two chapters, you just have to be smoother on the edges.
answered 35 mins ago
Liquid
2,880629
add a comment |Â
up vote
1
down vote
From the way you're telling it, I'd point my fingers against the time-skips. Apart from the necessary time-skip when the MC is unconscious (and you could fill it up with descriptions, dreams or maybe far-off memories) any other time skip is essentialy reducing word count, making the story seem shorter, and make the two traumatic events closer together.
What that person meant with "escalated too fast for me to comprehend" is that your reader doens't have the time to deal with the MC falling unconscious before the car crash.
The first chapter is often used to introduce the characters and the setting to the reader; you have to do this while dealing with two sudden incidents.
My suggestion is actually write something in those time skips. For example, about the MC falling uncoscious:
Alice felt her body grow heavy and her knees bend. She heard the low thud of an heavy object hitting the carpet of her boss office - part of her mind realized it was the sound made by her own body, falling. But her mind was distant, blank, and her vision blurred to darkness.
She dreamt of being in a back in fifth grade, her sudden sleep only somewhat troubled by excited voices around her, and then silence <whatever you'd like to insert here> when she wok up, she was surrounded by white hospital walls.
The same can be done for other time skips, too. When she wakes, the reader will expect some space to breathe. Show her talking to her boss and make the situation between the two straight. If she gets dismissed from the hospital, describe the whole scene. Throw in a dialogue or two with doctors and nurses. I know those things can be boring to write, since they are not the focus of the story, but they add realism and they will make your reader acclimate.
Remember, you want to avoid the feeling that your story may seem like a check-list of events.
You can absolutely deal with both the car crash and the fainting in two chapters, you just have to be smoother on the edges.
answered 35 mins ago
Liquid
2,880629
add a comment |Â
up vote
1
down vote
up vote
1
down vote
From the way you're telling it, I'd point my fingers against the time-skips. Apart from the necessary time-skip when the MC is unconscious (and you could fill it up with descriptions, dreams or maybe far-off memories) any other time skip is essentialy reducing word count, making the story seem shorter, and make the two traumatic events closer together.
What that person meant with "escalated too fast for me to comprehend" is that your reader doens't have the time to deal with the MC falling unconscious before the car crash.
The first chapter is often used to introduce the characters and the setting to the reader; you have to do this while dealing with two sudden incidents.
My suggestion is actually write something in those time skips. For example, about the MC falling uncoscious:
Alice felt her body grow heavy and her knees bend. She heard the low thud of an heavy object hitting the carpet of her boss office - part of her mind realized it was the sound made by her own body, falling. But her mind was distant, blank, and her vision blurred to darkness.
She dreamt of being in a back in fifth grade, her sudden sleep only somewhat troubled by excited voices around her, and then silence <whatever you'd like to insert here> when she wok up, she was surrounded by white hospital walls.
The same can be done for other time skips, too. When she wakes, the reader will expect some space to breathe. Show her talking to her boss and make the situation between the two straight. If she gets dismissed from the hospital, describe the whole scene. Throw in a dialogue or two with doctors and nurses. I know those things can be boring to write, since they are not the focus of the story, but they add realism and they will make your reader acclimate.
Remember, you want to avoid the feeling that your story may seem like a check-list of events.
You can absolutely deal with both the car crash and the fainting in two chapters, you just have to be smoother on the edges.
answered 35 mins ago
Liquid
2,880629
From the way you're telling it, I'd point my fingers against the time-skips. Apart from the necessary time-skip when the MC is unconscious (and you could fill it up with descriptions, dreams or maybe far-off memories) any other time skip is essentialy reducing word count, making the story seem shorter, and make the two traumatic events closer together.
What that person meant with "escalated too fast for me to comprehend" is that your reader doens't have the time to deal with the MC falling unconscious before the car crash.
The first chapter is often used to introduce the characters and the setting to the reader; you have to do this while dealing with two sudden incidents.
My suggestion is actually write something in those time skips. For example, about the MC falling uncoscious:
Alice felt her body grow heavy and her knees bend. She heard the low thud of an heavy object hitting the carpet of her boss office - part of her mind realized it was the sound made by her own body, falling. But her mind was distant, blank, and her vision blurred to darkness.
She dreamt of being in a back in fifth grade, her sudden sleep only somewhat troubled by excited voices around her, and then silence <whatever you'd like to insert here> when she wok up, she was surrounded by white hospital walls.
The same can be done for other time skips, too. When she wakes, the reader will expect some space to breathe. Show her talking to her boss and make the situation between the two straight. If she gets dismissed from the hospital, describe the whole scene. Throw in a dialogue or two with doctors and nurses. I know those things can be boring to write, since they are not the focus of the story, but they add realism and they will make your reader acclimate.
Remember, you want to avoid the feeling that your story may seem like a check-list of events.
You can absolutely deal with both the car crash and the fainting in two chapters, you just have to be smoother on the edges.
answered 35 mins ago
Liquid
2,880629
answered 35 mins ago
Liquid
2,880629
answered 35 mins ago
Liquid
2,880629
answered 35 mins ago
Liquid
2,880629
2,880629
add a comment |Â
add a comment |Â
ScarletRain is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
ScarletRain is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
ScarletRain is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
ScarletRain is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
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Well, I can see that there is a lot happening in just the first chapter. If the events follow a logical order and it's realistic enough, then it migh be fine. If your fear is that your story may not be accepted because of its length, then maybe you should consider publishing it in another website in order to have a desired result.
– Marian-Danny
4 hours ago