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Toddler being taught to cuss by older kids. How to deal with rude language at social gatherings?
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I have taken my son 9 years old to a little social gathering with some kids from different sporting activities, some of the families attending this gathering are from a very "rough" background.
One of the boys about the age of my son, was teaching his baby brother around 3yo, to say really rude words, like insults and cussing. The boys will laugh and encourage him, I approached the toddler and tried to tell him he can learn better words, but he just replied with F... off.
The parents of the kids seem to not care about that situation, but I don't think is a good example for my son.
How to deal with rude cussing boys like that? is the answer just to leave?
I don't want to show my son that the way to deal with rude people is just to ignore them and move away, but to learn a way to give him a higher thought reference?
toddler language socialization profanity
edited 3 hours ago
iulia
1,093823
asked 5 hours ago
MaKo
1434
add a comment |Â
up vote
2
down vote
favorite
I have taken my son 9 years old to a little social gathering with some kids from different sporting activities, some of the families attending this gathering are from a very "rough" background.
One of the boys about the age of my son, was teaching his baby brother around 3yo, to say really rude words, like insults and cussing. The boys will laugh and encourage him, I approached the toddler and tried to tell him he can learn better words, but he just replied with F... off.
The parents of the kids seem to not care about that situation, but I don't think is a good example for my son.
How to deal with rude cussing boys like that? is the answer just to leave?
I don't want to show my son that the way to deal with rude people is just to ignore them and move away, but to learn a way to give him a higher thought reference?
toddler language socialization profanity
edited 3 hours ago
iulia
1,093823
asked 5 hours ago
MaKo
1434
1
Hi! Maybe approaching the toddler should've been the last option. First the parents, then the older kids. The toddler cannot be expected to understand the gravity of the words he was saying, plus he probably did not initiate it (i.e., "Hey, older brother, teach me to cuss!").
– iulia
3 hours ago
add a comment |Â
up vote
2
down vote
favorite
up vote
2
down vote
favorite
I have taken my son 9 years old to a little social gathering with some kids from different sporting activities, some of the families attending this gathering are from a very "rough" background.
One of the boys about the age of my son, was teaching his baby brother around 3yo, to say really rude words, like insults and cussing. The boys will laugh and encourage him, I approached the toddler and tried to tell him he can learn better words, but he just replied with F... off.
The parents of the kids seem to not care about that situation, but I don't think is a good example for my son.
How to deal with rude cussing boys like that? is the answer just to leave?
I don't want to show my son that the way to deal with rude people is just to ignore them and move away, but to learn a way to give him a higher thought reference?
toddler language socialization profanity
edited 3 hours ago
iulia
1,093823
asked 5 hours ago
MaKo
1434
I have taken my son 9 years old to a little social gathering with some kids from different sporting activities, some of the families attending this gathering are from a very "rough" background.
One of the boys about the age of my son, was teaching his baby brother around 3yo, to say really rude words, like insults and cussing. The boys will laugh and encourage him, I approached the toddler and tried to tell him he can learn better words, but he just replied with F... off.
The parents of the kids seem to not care about that situation, but I don't think is a good example for my son.
How to deal with rude cussing boys like that? is the answer just to leave?
I don't want to show my son that the way to deal with rude people is just to ignore them and move away, but to learn a way to give him a higher thought reference?
toddler language socialization profanity
toddler language socialization profanity
edited 3 hours ago
iulia
1,093823
asked 5 hours ago
MaKo
1434
edited 3 hours ago
iulia
1,093823
asked 5 hours ago
MaKo
1434
edited 3 hours ago
iulia
1,093823
edited 3 hours ago
iulia
1,093823
edited 3 hours ago
iulia
1,093823
1,093823
asked 5 hours ago
MaKo
1434
asked 5 hours ago
MaKo
1434
asked 5 hours ago
MaKo
1434
1434
1
Hi! Maybe approaching the toddler should've been the last option. First the parents, then the older kids. The toddler cannot be expected to understand the gravity of the words he was saying, plus he probably did not initiate it (i.e., "Hey, older brother, teach me to cuss!").
– iulia
3 hours ago
add a comment |Â
1
Hi! Maybe approaching the toddler should've been the last option. First the parents, then the older kids. The toddler cannot be expected to understand the gravity of the words he was saying, plus he probably did not initiate it (i.e., "Hey, older brother, teach me to cuss!").
– iulia
3 hours ago
1
1
Hi! Maybe approaching the toddler should've been the last option. First the parents, then the older kids. The toddler cannot be expected to understand the gravity of the words he was saying, plus he probably did not initiate it (i.e., "Hey, older brother, teach me to cuss!").
– iulia
3 hours ago
Hi! Maybe approaching the toddler should've been the last option. First the parents, then the older kids. The toddler cannot be expected to understand the gravity of the words he was saying, plus he probably did not initiate it (i.e., "Hey, older brother, teach me to cuss!").
– iulia
3 hours ago
add a comment |Â
2 Answers
2
active
oldest
votes
up vote
4
down vote
All you can do is teach your own child.
It is never too early to learn that not everyone believes the same stuff, or even agrees on good behaviour. Your son will already have learnt those words at school so don't worry to much on that front.
I would start with
"I am glad you weren't joining in with teaching that toddler those
nasty words, that wasn't funny at all"
It honestly doesn't matter if he was or not at this stage, praise is always good
answered 2 hours ago
WendyG
33517
add a comment |Â
up vote
0
down vote
To forewarn you, some of this is going to be my own views, and they seem to differ from yours.
Swearing isn't a problem by itself
If I stand in an empty room and shout obscenities and no one can hear, does it matter? No.
Offense is an effect in the mind of the listener
If I say a word in your language which I don't understand, it is not offensive until you hear it and interpret it. Offense is a choice made by the listener to be offended.
Thus, offensive language is entirely context-dependent
The lesson to teach a child about swearing is that it is part of speaking for the benefit of those who are listening. So, we don't swear in front of young children because they won't understand that these are words that cause offense. We don't swear at teachers or parents unless we want to offend them and make them angry.
Not swearing is a reasonable choice if you don't know whether people will be offended or not
You can make it clear that you do not accept offensive language, and that you will assume they are trying to make you sad or angry if they swear in your presence. Further, you can point out that unless you know everyone in the room is fine with swearing, it is better not to swear because you might upset someone when you didn't mean to.
You can even suggest that the simplest thing is to never swear, then you don't have to worry about it.
A word is made of sounds
I have a real issue with just teaching children that all swearing is really bad. Swearing is just a bunch of sounds put together, and by themselves they are meaningless, not some sort of magical phrase. Further, it fails to teach children that the central point of language use is the context of the listener - that all language, the tone in which you say it, etc, is capable of causing joy or suffering in others, and that you have to think about the impact of what you're saying.
Frankly, swearing is the easiest way to learn that principle, so I would use it as an opportunity to teach them the concept rather than a rule they will become happy to break with their friends because it's forbidden.
Or, you know, teach them an over-simplified view of the world and wait for it to bite you when they're teenagers.
answered 8 mins ago
Phil H
1011
add a comment |Â
2 Answers
2
active
oldest
votes
2 Answers
2
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
up vote
4
down vote
All you can do is teach your own child.
It is never too early to learn that not everyone believes the same stuff, or even agrees on good behaviour. Your son will already have learnt those words at school so don't worry to much on that front.
I would start with
"I am glad you weren't joining in with teaching that toddler those
nasty words, that wasn't funny at all"
It honestly doesn't matter if he was or not at this stage, praise is always good
answered 2 hours ago
WendyG
33517
add a comment |Â
up vote
4
down vote
All you can do is teach your own child.
It is never too early to learn that not everyone believes the same stuff, or even agrees on good behaviour. Your son will already have learnt those words at school so don't worry to much on that front.
I would start with
"I am glad you weren't joining in with teaching that toddler those
nasty words, that wasn't funny at all"
It honestly doesn't matter if he was or not at this stage, praise is always good
answered 2 hours ago
WendyG
33517
add a comment |Â
up vote
4
down vote
up vote
4
down vote
All you can do is teach your own child.
It is never too early to learn that not everyone believes the same stuff, or even agrees on good behaviour. Your son will already have learnt those words at school so don't worry to much on that front.
I would start with
"I am glad you weren't joining in with teaching that toddler those
nasty words, that wasn't funny at all"
It honestly doesn't matter if he was or not at this stage, praise is always good
answered 2 hours ago
WendyG
33517
All you can do is teach your own child.
It is never too early to learn that not everyone believes the same stuff, or even agrees on good behaviour. Your son will already have learnt those words at school so don't worry to much on that front.
I would start with
"I am glad you weren't joining in with teaching that toddler those
nasty words, that wasn't funny at all"
It honestly doesn't matter if he was or not at this stage, praise is always good
answered 2 hours ago
WendyG
33517
answered 2 hours ago
WendyG
33517
answered 2 hours ago
WendyG
33517
answered 2 hours ago
WendyG
33517
33517
add a comment |Â
add a comment |Â
up vote
0
down vote
To forewarn you, some of this is going to be my own views, and they seem to differ from yours.
Swearing isn't a problem by itself
If I stand in an empty room and shout obscenities and no one can hear, does it matter? No.
Offense is an effect in the mind of the listener
If I say a word in your language which I don't understand, it is not offensive until you hear it and interpret it. Offense is a choice made by the listener to be offended.
Thus, offensive language is entirely context-dependent
The lesson to teach a child about swearing is that it is part of speaking for the benefit of those who are listening. So, we don't swear in front of young children because they won't understand that these are words that cause offense. We don't swear at teachers or parents unless we want to offend them and make them angry.
Not swearing is a reasonable choice if you don't know whether people will be offended or not
You can make it clear that you do not accept offensive language, and that you will assume they are trying to make you sad or angry if they swear in your presence. Further, you can point out that unless you know everyone in the room is fine with swearing, it is better not to swear because you might upset someone when you didn't mean to.
You can even suggest that the simplest thing is to never swear, then you don't have to worry about it.
A word is made of sounds
I have a real issue with just teaching children that all swearing is really bad. Swearing is just a bunch of sounds put together, and by themselves they are meaningless, not some sort of magical phrase. Further, it fails to teach children that the central point of language use is the context of the listener - that all language, the tone in which you say it, etc, is capable of causing joy or suffering in others, and that you have to think about the impact of what you're saying.
Frankly, swearing is the easiest way to learn that principle, so I would use it as an opportunity to teach them the concept rather than a rule they will become happy to break with their friends because it's forbidden.
Or, you know, teach them an over-simplified view of the world and wait for it to bite you when they're teenagers.
answered 8 mins ago
Phil H
1011
add a comment |Â
up vote
0
down vote
To forewarn you, some of this is going to be my own views, and they seem to differ from yours.
Swearing isn't a problem by itself
If I stand in an empty room and shout obscenities and no one can hear, does it matter? No.
Offense is an effect in the mind of the listener
If I say a word in your language which I don't understand, it is not offensive until you hear it and interpret it. Offense is a choice made by the listener to be offended.
Thus, offensive language is entirely context-dependent
The lesson to teach a child about swearing is that it is part of speaking for the benefit of those who are listening. So, we don't swear in front of young children because they won't understand that these are words that cause offense. We don't swear at teachers or parents unless we want to offend them and make them angry.
Not swearing is a reasonable choice if you don't know whether people will be offended or not
You can make it clear that you do not accept offensive language, and that you will assume they are trying to make you sad or angry if they swear in your presence. Further, you can point out that unless you know everyone in the room is fine with swearing, it is better not to swear because you might upset someone when you didn't mean to.
You can even suggest that the simplest thing is to never swear, then you don't have to worry about it.
A word is made of sounds
I have a real issue with just teaching children that all swearing is really bad. Swearing is just a bunch of sounds put together, and by themselves they are meaningless, not some sort of magical phrase. Further, it fails to teach children that the central point of language use is the context of the listener - that all language, the tone in which you say it, etc, is capable of causing joy or suffering in others, and that you have to think about the impact of what you're saying.
Frankly, swearing is the easiest way to learn that principle, so I would use it as an opportunity to teach them the concept rather than a rule they will become happy to break with their friends because it's forbidden.
Or, you know, teach them an over-simplified view of the world and wait for it to bite you when they're teenagers.
answered 8 mins ago
Phil H
1011
add a comment |Â
up vote
0
down vote
up vote
0
down vote
To forewarn you, some of this is going to be my own views, and they seem to differ from yours.
Swearing isn't a problem by itself
If I stand in an empty room and shout obscenities and no one can hear, does it matter? No.
Offense is an effect in the mind of the listener
If I say a word in your language which I don't understand, it is not offensive until you hear it and interpret it. Offense is a choice made by the listener to be offended.
Thus, offensive language is entirely context-dependent
The lesson to teach a child about swearing is that it is part of speaking for the benefit of those who are listening. So, we don't swear in front of young children because they won't understand that these are words that cause offense. We don't swear at teachers or parents unless we want to offend them and make them angry.
Not swearing is a reasonable choice if you don't know whether people will be offended or not
You can make it clear that you do not accept offensive language, and that you will assume they are trying to make you sad or angry if they swear in your presence. Further, you can point out that unless you know everyone in the room is fine with swearing, it is better not to swear because you might upset someone when you didn't mean to.
You can even suggest that the simplest thing is to never swear, then you don't have to worry about it.
A word is made of sounds
I have a real issue with just teaching children that all swearing is really bad. Swearing is just a bunch of sounds put together, and by themselves they are meaningless, not some sort of magical phrase. Further, it fails to teach children that the central point of language use is the context of the listener - that all language, the tone in which you say it, etc, is capable of causing joy or suffering in others, and that you have to think about the impact of what you're saying.
Frankly, swearing is the easiest way to learn that principle, so I would use it as an opportunity to teach them the concept rather than a rule they will become happy to break with their friends because it's forbidden.
Or, you know, teach them an over-simplified view of the world and wait for it to bite you when they're teenagers.
answered 8 mins ago
Phil H
1011
To forewarn you, some of this is going to be my own views, and they seem to differ from yours.
Swearing isn't a problem by itself
If I stand in an empty room and shout obscenities and no one can hear, does it matter? No.
Offense is an effect in the mind of the listener
If I say a word in your language which I don't understand, it is not offensive until you hear it and interpret it. Offense is a choice made by the listener to be offended.
Thus, offensive language is entirely context-dependent
The lesson to teach a child about swearing is that it is part of speaking for the benefit of those who are listening. So, we don't swear in front of young children because they won't understand that these are words that cause offense. We don't swear at teachers or parents unless we want to offend them and make them angry.
Not swearing is a reasonable choice if you don't know whether people will be offended or not
You can make it clear that you do not accept offensive language, and that you will assume they are trying to make you sad or angry if they swear in your presence. Further, you can point out that unless you know everyone in the room is fine with swearing, it is better not to swear because you might upset someone when you didn't mean to.
You can even suggest that the simplest thing is to never swear, then you don't have to worry about it.
A word is made of sounds
I have a real issue with just teaching children that all swearing is really bad. Swearing is just a bunch of sounds put together, and by themselves they are meaningless, not some sort of magical phrase. Further, it fails to teach children that the central point of language use is the context of the listener - that all language, the tone in which you say it, etc, is capable of causing joy or suffering in others, and that you have to think about the impact of what you're saying.
Frankly, swearing is the easiest way to learn that principle, so I would use it as an opportunity to teach them the concept rather than a rule they will become happy to break with their friends because it's forbidden.
Or, you know, teach them an over-simplified view of the world and wait for it to bite you when they're teenagers.
answered 8 mins ago
Phil H
1011
answered 8 mins ago
Phil H
1011
answered 8 mins ago
Phil H
1011
answered 8 mins ago
Phil H
1011
1011
add a comment |Â
add a comment |Â
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1
Hi! Maybe approaching the toddler should've been the last option. First the parents, then the older kids. The toddler cannot be expected to understand the gravity of the words he was saying, plus he probably did not initiate it (i.e., "Hey, older brother, teach me to cuss!").
– iulia
3 hours ago