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How should I deal with a fellow player's sudden decision that affects my character?
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My fellow player and I had started a 5e campaign with the plan that our two characters would be childhood friends that would eventually start a romance together. It worked well for a while, and I'll admit that I might've gotten too invested in the relationship as I planned out what eventually might happen between them, as I assumed that my partner was on the same page. Recently, however, she announced that she was going to play her character as polyamorous-- able to have romantic relationships with multiple people at once. Apparently she came to this decision after a flirtatious moment between her character and an NPC evolved into genuine romantic feelings. I have to admit that I'm very upset about this change, partially because she had never discussed it with me beforehand, and partially because my character has extreme trust issues and would not be at all happy with the idea that she would have to "share" him with someone else if they did end up together. I spoke to her about this and how it upset me, and she said that she apologized for not informing me of her decision beforehand but that she "had to play [her character] honestly." I should note that she's a very good friend of mine, nothing more or less, and my feelings about her decision are in no way influenced by our relationship outside of the campaign.
I feel as though she's backed me into a corner with only two unappealing options open to me-- have my character accept that her character will eventually seek love with other people, which I doubt she would be willing to do, or to just not have the romantic relationship come to fruition at all, which seems unfair considering all the planning we have done beforehand. I should also add that the DM in control of the NPC was also not given any indication that this would happen, and has no intention of roleplaying a romantic relationship, but the player in question has asserted that this would not change her decision to play her character as poly.
I'm unsure where to go from here and would appreciate any advice.
dnd-5e roleplaying romance
asked 1 hour ago
Kaiya
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My fellow player and I had started a 5e campaign with the plan that our two characters would be childhood friends that would eventually start a romance together. It worked well for a while, and I'll admit that I might've gotten too invested in the relationship as I planned out what eventually might happen between them, as I assumed that my partner was on the same page. Recently, however, she announced that she was going to play her character as polyamorous-- able to have romantic relationships with multiple people at once. Apparently she came to this decision after a flirtatious moment between her character and an NPC evolved into genuine romantic feelings. I have to admit that I'm very upset about this change, partially because she had never discussed it with me beforehand, and partially because my character has extreme trust issues and would not be at all happy with the idea that she would have to "share" him with someone else if they did end up together. I spoke to her about this and how it upset me, and she said that she apologized for not informing me of her decision beforehand but that she "had to play [her character] honestly." I should note that she's a very good friend of mine, nothing more or less, and my feelings about her decision are in no way influenced by our relationship outside of the campaign.
I feel as though she's backed me into a corner with only two unappealing options open to me-- have my character accept that her character will eventually seek love with other people, which I doubt she would be willing to do, or to just not have the romantic relationship come to fruition at all, which seems unfair considering all the planning we have done beforehand. I should also add that the DM in control of the NPC was also not given any indication that this would happen, and has no intention of roleplaying a romantic relationship, but the player in question has asserted that this would not change her decision to play her character as poly.
I'm unsure where to go from here and would appreciate any advice.
dnd-5e roleplaying romance
asked 1 hour ago
Kaiya
112
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Kaiya is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
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1
Related: What is “my guy syndrome†and how do I handle it?
– Mike Q
1 hour ago
What is your "real-world" relationship with your fellow player? How much does that have to do with how upset you are?
– Tim Grant
48 mins ago
She is a good friend of mine, but there's no romantic attachment to her at all, if that's what you're asking. This is my first campaign, though, which may have something to do with my reaction to this change in narrative-- though I've roleplayed in other mediums before, I'm not exactly used to the "yes, and..." aspect of improvising, especially when it comes on the heels of something we'd already planned for months.
– Kaiya
43 mins ago
1
Hi Kaiya, thanks for the response. The clarifications you provided should really be edited into your question - the idea is the question should be complete, without needing to read any of the comments. And welcome to StackRPG!
– Tim Grant
20 mins ago
add a comment |Â
up vote
2
down vote
favorite
up vote
2
down vote
favorite
My fellow player and I had started a 5e campaign with the plan that our two characters would be childhood friends that would eventually start a romance together. It worked well for a while, and I'll admit that I might've gotten too invested in the relationship as I planned out what eventually might happen between them, as I assumed that my partner was on the same page. Recently, however, she announced that she was going to play her character as polyamorous-- able to have romantic relationships with multiple people at once. Apparently she came to this decision after a flirtatious moment between her character and an NPC evolved into genuine romantic feelings. I have to admit that I'm very upset about this change, partially because she had never discussed it with me beforehand, and partially because my character has extreme trust issues and would not be at all happy with the idea that she would have to "share" him with someone else if they did end up together. I spoke to her about this and how it upset me, and she said that she apologized for not informing me of her decision beforehand but that she "had to play [her character] honestly." I should note that she's a very good friend of mine, nothing more or less, and my feelings about her decision are in no way influenced by our relationship outside of the campaign.
I feel as though she's backed me into a corner with only two unappealing options open to me-- have my character accept that her character will eventually seek love with other people, which I doubt she would be willing to do, or to just not have the romantic relationship come to fruition at all, which seems unfair considering all the planning we have done beforehand. I should also add that the DM in control of the NPC was also not given any indication that this would happen, and has no intention of roleplaying a romantic relationship, but the player in question has asserted that this would not change her decision to play her character as poly.
I'm unsure where to go from here and would appreciate any advice.
dnd-5e roleplaying romance
asked 1 hour ago
Kaiya
112
New contributor
Kaiya is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
My fellow player and I had started a 5e campaign with the plan that our two characters would be childhood friends that would eventually start a romance together. It worked well for a while, and I'll admit that I might've gotten too invested in the relationship as I planned out what eventually might happen between them, as I assumed that my partner was on the same page. Recently, however, she announced that she was going to play her character as polyamorous-- able to have romantic relationships with multiple people at once. Apparently she came to this decision after a flirtatious moment between her character and an NPC evolved into genuine romantic feelings. I have to admit that I'm very upset about this change, partially because she had never discussed it with me beforehand, and partially because my character has extreme trust issues and would not be at all happy with the idea that she would have to "share" him with someone else if they did end up together. I spoke to her about this and how it upset me, and she said that she apologized for not informing me of her decision beforehand but that she "had to play [her character] honestly." I should note that she's a very good friend of mine, nothing more or less, and my feelings about her decision are in no way influenced by our relationship outside of the campaign.
I feel as though she's backed me into a corner with only two unappealing options open to me-- have my character accept that her character will eventually seek love with other people, which I doubt she would be willing to do, or to just not have the romantic relationship come to fruition at all, which seems unfair considering all the planning we have done beforehand. I should also add that the DM in control of the NPC was also not given any indication that this would happen, and has no intention of roleplaying a romantic relationship, but the player in question has asserted that this would not change her decision to play her character as poly.
I'm unsure where to go from here and would appreciate any advice.
dnd-5e roleplaying romance
dnd-5e roleplaying romance
asked 1 hour ago
Kaiya
112
New contributor
Kaiya is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
asked 1 hour ago
Kaiya
112
New contributor
Kaiya is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
edited 9 mins ago
asked 1 hour ago
Kaiya
112
New contributor
Kaiya is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
asked 1 hour ago
Kaiya
112
asked 1 hour ago
Kaiya
112
112
New contributor
Kaiya is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
New contributor
Kaiya is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
Kaiya is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
1
Related: What is “my guy syndrome†and how do I handle it?
– Mike Q
1 hour ago
What is your "real-world" relationship with your fellow player? How much does that have to do with how upset you are?
– Tim Grant
48 mins ago
She is a good friend of mine, but there's no romantic attachment to her at all, if that's what you're asking. This is my first campaign, though, which may have something to do with my reaction to this change in narrative-- though I've roleplayed in other mediums before, I'm not exactly used to the "yes, and..." aspect of improvising, especially when it comes on the heels of something we'd already planned for months.
– Kaiya
43 mins ago
1
Hi Kaiya, thanks for the response. The clarifications you provided should really be edited into your question - the idea is the question should be complete, without needing to read any of the comments. And welcome to StackRPG!
– Tim Grant
20 mins ago
add a comment |Â
1
Related: What is “my guy syndrome†and how do I handle it?
– Mike Q
1 hour ago
What is your "real-world" relationship with your fellow player? How much does that have to do with how upset you are?
– Tim Grant
48 mins ago
She is a good friend of mine, but there's no romantic attachment to her at all, if that's what you're asking. This is my first campaign, though, which may have something to do with my reaction to this change in narrative-- though I've roleplayed in other mediums before, I'm not exactly used to the "yes, and..." aspect of improvising, especially when it comes on the heels of something we'd already planned for months.
– Kaiya
43 mins ago
1
Hi Kaiya, thanks for the response. The clarifications you provided should really be edited into your question - the idea is the question should be complete, without needing to read any of the comments. And welcome to StackRPG!
– Tim Grant
20 mins ago
1
1
Related: What is “my guy syndrome†and how do I handle it?
– Mike Q
1 hour ago
Related: What is “my guy syndrome†and how do I handle it?
– Mike Q
1 hour ago
What is your "real-world" relationship with your fellow player? How much does that have to do with how upset you are?
– Tim Grant
48 mins ago
What is your "real-world" relationship with your fellow player? How much does that have to do with how upset you are?
– Tim Grant
48 mins ago
She is a good friend of mine, but there's no romantic attachment to her at all, if that's what you're asking. This is my first campaign, though, which may have something to do with my reaction to this change in narrative-- though I've roleplayed in other mediums before, I'm not exactly used to the "yes, and..." aspect of improvising, especially when it comes on the heels of something we'd already planned for months.
– Kaiya
43 mins ago
She is a good friend of mine, but there's no romantic attachment to her at all, if that's what you're asking. This is my first campaign, though, which may have something to do with my reaction to this change in narrative-- though I've roleplayed in other mediums before, I'm not exactly used to the "yes, and..." aspect of improvising, especially when it comes on the heels of something we'd already planned for months.
– Kaiya
43 mins ago
1
1
Hi Kaiya, thanks for the response. The clarifications you provided should really be edited into your question - the idea is the question should be complete, without needing to read any of the comments. And welcome to StackRPG!
– Tim Grant
20 mins ago
Hi Kaiya, thanks for the response. The clarifications you provided should really be edited into your question - the idea is the question should be complete, without needing to read any of the comments. And welcome to StackRPG!
– Tim Grant
20 mins ago
add a comment |Â
4 Answers
4
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up vote
3
down vote
This is a My Guy Syndrome question. You've written that your character "has extreme trust issues" -- but that's something that you've decided, and you can decide differently if you think the alternative would be more fun. Likewise, your fellow player has said that she "has to play her character honestly" -- but she's the one making the decisions about what her character wants, and she could decide differently if she wanted to.
So, we can rephrase your question like this. The two of you started a roleplaying game with the plan that your characters would be romantically involved. Now, your friend no longer wants her character to be romantically involved (only) with your character. You'd prefer the opposite, but in the game (as in real life), we don't get to control how other characters feel about us. :-/
(One theory for what's happening: the other player might be losing interest in having her character follow your lead, and simply wants to make some decisions for herself for a while. Most of the fun of role-playing games is in doing crazy stuff and seeing what happens, so this might be understandable.)
At this point, your goal is to react in a way that will be fun -- fun for you, ideally fun for the group. If you (and the rest of the table) now feel like it might be fun to play your character as bitter and jealous and controlling, that's something you can try. If you think it would be more fun to play your character in some other way, you can do that instead. You could roleplay all the fun stuff your character is doing to try to hold the other character's attention, or you could roleplay a poly romance with someone else (and does your character mean it, or are they just trying to make your friend's character jealous?), or you could roleplay how your character is competing for that same NPC's affections in a love triangle. Or you could focus on non-romantic parts of the game for a bit.
If the only thing you were enjoying about the game was that romance, you also have the option to drop out of the game. People who are new to RPGs often believe that an RPG commitment is unbreakable and they have to stick it through to the end. This isn't true -- like any activity, you can stop doing it if it stops being fun. (We hope that you're enjoying other things about the game, though!)
In pen-and-paper roleplaying games, many groups will try not to do too much with romance. The reason is that romance is usually a two-player activity (or a one-player plus the DM activity). It might be fun to roleplay your character on a date, but it's not as much fun to sit there quietly at the table and watch someone else roleplay their character on a date. I don't know how this impacts your table -- maybe you have a small number of players and you don't mind watching each other roleplay dates. But, if you really want to do romantic roleplaying, it's possible you'll find that a pen-and-paper RPG isn't the best setting for that.
answered 17 mins ago
Dan B
31.4k754120
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up vote
2
down vote
Roleplaying and rolling with change
It's important to note that you are both playing characters in a story. Events happen and characters grow - and that's okay!
Although there may have been an initial plan, plans change just like life changes. You've got to be able to roll with those changes and keep on going. How you, or your character, chooses to react to the changing situation is entirely and 100% up to you.
Whatever you do, make sure you're still having fun and it's not taking away from other people's fun at the table (whether it's the other player in question, other players at the table, or the DM.)
answered 52 mins ago
NautArch
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I don't know if your campaign is an ongoing one, but you've got more than two options.
You can have your character stick around and try to woo the wayward poly-amorous character anyways, have her realize that it's true love. This can either be reciprocated or not. If yes, be on your merry way, it not, your character can grow resentful, perhaps have flashes of unprovoked/disproportional anger at the target of her affection.
You can have your character, as you've mentioned, leave it. Good option as well, not as much a strenuous emotional arc but opens the door to a whole world of opportunities for your characters and new things to latch on to instead of a predetermined thing.
Note: You have to remember that as in battle, a plan lasts only until the first dice is rolled. Once the character sheet is written, and the background stories established. Your character is subject to the great random. Ambitions and desires of characters might, and likely will change, keep that in mins as well when determining which route to take for your character.
edited 5 mins ago
TuggyNE
4,87752748
answered 58 mins ago
Hyfnae
1416
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up vote
1
down vote
I would like to offer a frame challenge to your question:
"...my character has extreme trust issues..." Trust issues arise both in polyamorous and monogamous relationship configurations. One can certainly trust in the context of polyamorous partners or relationships, and one can certainly mistrust in the context of monogamous partners or relationships. (And of course the converse is also true.)
Perhaps you (the player) can simply collaborate with your friend (the other player) to slightly reframe the nature of your agenda for the characters emotional/relational constructs? You may find the relationships still play out quite rewardingly, and that the "trust issues" you want to play with can fit within a polyamorous relationship, which can present a win-win for both you (the player) and your friend (the other player).
answered 1 hour ago
Lexible
3,62831939
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4 Answers
4
active
oldest
votes
4 Answers
4
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
up vote
3
down vote
This is a My Guy Syndrome question. You've written that your character "has extreme trust issues" -- but that's something that you've decided, and you can decide differently if you think the alternative would be more fun. Likewise, your fellow player has said that she "has to play her character honestly" -- but she's the one making the decisions about what her character wants, and she could decide differently if she wanted to.
So, we can rephrase your question like this. The two of you started a roleplaying game with the plan that your characters would be romantically involved. Now, your friend no longer wants her character to be romantically involved (only) with your character. You'd prefer the opposite, but in the game (as in real life), we don't get to control how other characters feel about us. :-/
(One theory for what's happening: the other player might be losing interest in having her character follow your lead, and simply wants to make some decisions for herself for a while. Most of the fun of role-playing games is in doing crazy stuff and seeing what happens, so this might be understandable.)
At this point, your goal is to react in a way that will be fun -- fun for you, ideally fun for the group. If you (and the rest of the table) now feel like it might be fun to play your character as bitter and jealous and controlling, that's something you can try. If you think it would be more fun to play your character in some other way, you can do that instead. You could roleplay all the fun stuff your character is doing to try to hold the other character's attention, or you could roleplay a poly romance with someone else (and does your character mean it, or are they just trying to make your friend's character jealous?), or you could roleplay how your character is competing for that same NPC's affections in a love triangle. Or you could focus on non-romantic parts of the game for a bit.
If the only thing you were enjoying about the game was that romance, you also have the option to drop out of the game. People who are new to RPGs often believe that an RPG commitment is unbreakable and they have to stick it through to the end. This isn't true -- like any activity, you can stop doing it if it stops being fun. (We hope that you're enjoying other things about the game, though!)
In pen-and-paper roleplaying games, many groups will try not to do too much with romance. The reason is that romance is usually a two-player activity (or a one-player plus the DM activity). It might be fun to roleplay your character on a date, but it's not as much fun to sit there quietly at the table and watch someone else roleplay their character on a date. I don't know how this impacts your table -- maybe you have a small number of players and you don't mind watching each other roleplay dates. But, if you really want to do romantic roleplaying, it's possible you'll find that a pen-and-paper RPG isn't the best setting for that.
answered 17 mins ago
Dan B
31.4k754120
add a comment |Â
up vote
3
down vote
This is a My Guy Syndrome question. You've written that your character "has extreme trust issues" -- but that's something that you've decided, and you can decide differently if you think the alternative would be more fun. Likewise, your fellow player has said that she "has to play her character honestly" -- but she's the one making the decisions about what her character wants, and she could decide differently if she wanted to.
So, we can rephrase your question like this. The two of you started a roleplaying game with the plan that your characters would be romantically involved. Now, your friend no longer wants her character to be romantically involved (only) with your character. You'd prefer the opposite, but in the game (as in real life), we don't get to control how other characters feel about us. :-/
(One theory for what's happening: the other player might be losing interest in having her character follow your lead, and simply wants to make some decisions for herself for a while. Most of the fun of role-playing games is in doing crazy stuff and seeing what happens, so this might be understandable.)
At this point, your goal is to react in a way that will be fun -- fun for you, ideally fun for the group. If you (and the rest of the table) now feel like it might be fun to play your character as bitter and jealous and controlling, that's something you can try. If you think it would be more fun to play your character in some other way, you can do that instead. You could roleplay all the fun stuff your character is doing to try to hold the other character's attention, or you could roleplay a poly romance with someone else (and does your character mean it, or are they just trying to make your friend's character jealous?), or you could roleplay how your character is competing for that same NPC's affections in a love triangle. Or you could focus on non-romantic parts of the game for a bit.
If the only thing you were enjoying about the game was that romance, you also have the option to drop out of the game. People who are new to RPGs often believe that an RPG commitment is unbreakable and they have to stick it through to the end. This isn't true -- like any activity, you can stop doing it if it stops being fun. (We hope that you're enjoying other things about the game, though!)
In pen-and-paper roleplaying games, many groups will try not to do too much with romance. The reason is that romance is usually a two-player activity (or a one-player plus the DM activity). It might be fun to roleplay your character on a date, but it's not as much fun to sit there quietly at the table and watch someone else roleplay their character on a date. I don't know how this impacts your table -- maybe you have a small number of players and you don't mind watching each other roleplay dates. But, if you really want to do romantic roleplaying, it's possible you'll find that a pen-and-paper RPG isn't the best setting for that.
answered 17 mins ago
Dan B
31.4k754120
add a comment |Â
up vote
3
down vote
up vote
3
down vote
This is a My Guy Syndrome question. You've written that your character "has extreme trust issues" -- but that's something that you've decided, and you can decide differently if you think the alternative would be more fun. Likewise, your fellow player has said that she "has to play her character honestly" -- but she's the one making the decisions about what her character wants, and she could decide differently if she wanted to.
So, we can rephrase your question like this. The two of you started a roleplaying game with the plan that your characters would be romantically involved. Now, your friend no longer wants her character to be romantically involved (only) with your character. You'd prefer the opposite, but in the game (as in real life), we don't get to control how other characters feel about us. :-/
(One theory for what's happening: the other player might be losing interest in having her character follow your lead, and simply wants to make some decisions for herself for a while. Most of the fun of role-playing games is in doing crazy stuff and seeing what happens, so this might be understandable.)
At this point, your goal is to react in a way that will be fun -- fun for you, ideally fun for the group. If you (and the rest of the table) now feel like it might be fun to play your character as bitter and jealous and controlling, that's something you can try. If you think it would be more fun to play your character in some other way, you can do that instead. You could roleplay all the fun stuff your character is doing to try to hold the other character's attention, or you could roleplay a poly romance with someone else (and does your character mean it, or are they just trying to make your friend's character jealous?), or you could roleplay how your character is competing for that same NPC's affections in a love triangle. Or you could focus on non-romantic parts of the game for a bit.
If the only thing you were enjoying about the game was that romance, you also have the option to drop out of the game. People who are new to RPGs often believe that an RPG commitment is unbreakable and they have to stick it through to the end. This isn't true -- like any activity, you can stop doing it if it stops being fun. (We hope that you're enjoying other things about the game, though!)
In pen-and-paper roleplaying games, many groups will try not to do too much with romance. The reason is that romance is usually a two-player activity (or a one-player plus the DM activity). It might be fun to roleplay your character on a date, but it's not as much fun to sit there quietly at the table and watch someone else roleplay their character on a date. I don't know how this impacts your table -- maybe you have a small number of players and you don't mind watching each other roleplay dates. But, if you really want to do romantic roleplaying, it's possible you'll find that a pen-and-paper RPG isn't the best setting for that.
answered 17 mins ago
Dan B
31.4k754120
This is a My Guy Syndrome question. You've written that your character "has extreme trust issues" -- but that's something that you've decided, and you can decide differently if you think the alternative would be more fun. Likewise, your fellow player has said that she "has to play her character honestly" -- but she's the one making the decisions about what her character wants, and she could decide differently if she wanted to.
So, we can rephrase your question like this. The two of you started a roleplaying game with the plan that your characters would be romantically involved. Now, your friend no longer wants her character to be romantically involved (only) with your character. You'd prefer the opposite, but in the game (as in real life), we don't get to control how other characters feel about us. :-/
(One theory for what's happening: the other player might be losing interest in having her character follow your lead, and simply wants to make some decisions for herself for a while. Most of the fun of role-playing games is in doing crazy stuff and seeing what happens, so this might be understandable.)
At this point, your goal is to react in a way that will be fun -- fun for you, ideally fun for the group. If you (and the rest of the table) now feel like it might be fun to play your character as bitter and jealous and controlling, that's something you can try. If you think it would be more fun to play your character in some other way, you can do that instead. You could roleplay all the fun stuff your character is doing to try to hold the other character's attention, or you could roleplay a poly romance with someone else (and does your character mean it, or are they just trying to make your friend's character jealous?), or you could roleplay how your character is competing for that same NPC's affections in a love triangle. Or you could focus on non-romantic parts of the game for a bit.
If the only thing you were enjoying about the game was that romance, you also have the option to drop out of the game. People who are new to RPGs often believe that an RPG commitment is unbreakable and they have to stick it through to the end. This isn't true -- like any activity, you can stop doing it if it stops being fun. (We hope that you're enjoying other things about the game, though!)
In pen-and-paper roleplaying games, many groups will try not to do too much with romance. The reason is that romance is usually a two-player activity (or a one-player plus the DM activity). It might be fun to roleplay your character on a date, but it's not as much fun to sit there quietly at the table and watch someone else roleplay their character on a date. I don't know how this impacts your table -- maybe you have a small number of players and you don't mind watching each other roleplay dates. But, if you really want to do romantic roleplaying, it's possible you'll find that a pen-and-paper RPG isn't the best setting for that.
answered 17 mins ago
Dan B
31.4k754120
answered 17 mins ago
Dan B
31.4k754120
answered 17 mins ago
Dan B
31.4k754120
answered 17 mins ago
Dan B
31.4k754120
31.4k754120
add a comment |Â
add a comment |Â
up vote
2
down vote
Roleplaying and rolling with change
It's important to note that you are both playing characters in a story. Events happen and characters grow - and that's okay!
Although there may have been an initial plan, plans change just like life changes. You've got to be able to roll with those changes and keep on going. How you, or your character, chooses to react to the changing situation is entirely and 100% up to you.
Whatever you do, make sure you're still having fun and it's not taking away from other people's fun at the table (whether it's the other player in question, other players at the table, or the DM.)
answered 52 mins ago
NautArch
44.2k6159304
add a comment |Â
up vote
2
down vote
Roleplaying and rolling with change
It's important to note that you are both playing characters in a story. Events happen and characters grow - and that's okay!
Although there may have been an initial plan, plans change just like life changes. You've got to be able to roll with those changes and keep on going. How you, or your character, chooses to react to the changing situation is entirely and 100% up to you.
Whatever you do, make sure you're still having fun and it's not taking away from other people's fun at the table (whether it's the other player in question, other players at the table, or the DM.)
answered 52 mins ago
NautArch
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Roleplaying and rolling with change
It's important to note that you are both playing characters in a story. Events happen and characters grow - and that's okay!
Although there may have been an initial plan, plans change just like life changes. You've got to be able to roll with those changes and keep on going. How you, or your character, chooses to react to the changing situation is entirely and 100% up to you.
Whatever you do, make sure you're still having fun and it's not taking away from other people's fun at the table (whether it's the other player in question, other players at the table, or the DM.)
answered 52 mins ago
NautArch
44.2k6159304
Roleplaying and rolling with change
It's important to note that you are both playing characters in a story. Events happen and characters grow - and that's okay!
Although there may have been an initial plan, plans change just like life changes. You've got to be able to roll with those changes and keep on going. How you, or your character, chooses to react to the changing situation is entirely and 100% up to you.
Whatever you do, make sure you're still having fun and it's not taking away from other people's fun at the table (whether it's the other player in question, other players at the table, or the DM.)
answered 52 mins ago
NautArch
44.2k6159304
answered 52 mins ago
NautArch
44.2k6159304
answered 52 mins ago
NautArch
44.2k6159304
answered 52 mins ago
NautArch
44.2k6159304
44.2k6159304
add a comment |Â
add a comment |Â
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I don't know if your campaign is an ongoing one, but you've got more than two options.
You can have your character stick around and try to woo the wayward poly-amorous character anyways, have her realize that it's true love. This can either be reciprocated or not. If yes, be on your merry way, it not, your character can grow resentful, perhaps have flashes of unprovoked/disproportional anger at the target of her affection.
You can have your character, as you've mentioned, leave it. Good option as well, not as much a strenuous emotional arc but opens the door to a whole world of opportunities for your characters and new things to latch on to instead of a predetermined thing.
Note: You have to remember that as in battle, a plan lasts only until the first dice is rolled. Once the character sheet is written, and the background stories established. Your character is subject to the great random. Ambitions and desires of characters might, and likely will change, keep that in mins as well when determining which route to take for your character.
edited 5 mins ago
TuggyNE
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answered 58 mins ago
Hyfnae
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I don't know if your campaign is an ongoing one, but you've got more than two options.
You can have your character stick around and try to woo the wayward poly-amorous character anyways, have her realize that it's true love. This can either be reciprocated or not. If yes, be on your merry way, it not, your character can grow resentful, perhaps have flashes of unprovoked/disproportional anger at the target of her affection.
You can have your character, as you've mentioned, leave it. Good option as well, not as much a strenuous emotional arc but opens the door to a whole world of opportunities for your characters and new things to latch on to instead of a predetermined thing.
Note: You have to remember that as in battle, a plan lasts only until the first dice is rolled. Once the character sheet is written, and the background stories established. Your character is subject to the great random. Ambitions and desires of characters might, and likely will change, keep that in mins as well when determining which route to take for your character.
edited 5 mins ago
TuggyNE
4,87752748
answered 58 mins ago
Hyfnae
1416
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up vote
2
down vote
up vote
2
down vote
I don't know if your campaign is an ongoing one, but you've got more than two options.
You can have your character stick around and try to woo the wayward poly-amorous character anyways, have her realize that it's true love. This can either be reciprocated or not. If yes, be on your merry way, it not, your character can grow resentful, perhaps have flashes of unprovoked/disproportional anger at the target of her affection.
You can have your character, as you've mentioned, leave it. Good option as well, not as much a strenuous emotional arc but opens the door to a whole world of opportunities for your characters and new things to latch on to instead of a predetermined thing.
Note: You have to remember that as in battle, a plan lasts only until the first dice is rolled. Once the character sheet is written, and the background stories established. Your character is subject to the great random. Ambitions and desires of characters might, and likely will change, keep that in mins as well when determining which route to take for your character.
edited 5 mins ago
TuggyNE
4,87752748
answered 58 mins ago
Hyfnae
1416
New contributor
Hyfnae is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
I don't know if your campaign is an ongoing one, but you've got more than two options.
You can have your character stick around and try to woo the wayward poly-amorous character anyways, have her realize that it's true love. This can either be reciprocated or not. If yes, be on your merry way, it not, your character can grow resentful, perhaps have flashes of unprovoked/disproportional anger at the target of her affection.
You can have your character, as you've mentioned, leave it. Good option as well, not as much a strenuous emotional arc but opens the door to a whole world of opportunities for your characters and new things to latch on to instead of a predetermined thing.
Note: You have to remember that as in battle, a plan lasts only until the first dice is rolled. Once the character sheet is written, and the background stories established. Your character is subject to the great random. Ambitions and desires of characters might, and likely will change, keep that in mins as well when determining which route to take for your character.
edited 5 mins ago
TuggyNE
4,87752748
answered 58 mins ago
Hyfnae
1416
New contributor
Hyfnae is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
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edited 5 mins ago
TuggyNE
4,87752748
edited 5 mins ago
TuggyNE
4,87752748
edited 5 mins ago
TuggyNE
4,87752748
4,87752748
answered 58 mins ago
Hyfnae
1416
New contributor
Hyfnae is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
answered 58 mins ago
Hyfnae
1416
answered 58 mins ago
Hyfnae
1416
1416
New contributor
Hyfnae is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
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New contributor
Hyfnae is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
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up vote
1
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I would like to offer a frame challenge to your question:
"...my character has extreme trust issues..." Trust issues arise both in polyamorous and monogamous relationship configurations. One can certainly trust in the context of polyamorous partners or relationships, and one can certainly mistrust in the context of monogamous partners or relationships. (And of course the converse is also true.)
Perhaps you (the player) can simply collaborate with your friend (the other player) to slightly reframe the nature of your agenda for the characters emotional/relational constructs? You may find the relationships still play out quite rewardingly, and that the "trust issues" you want to play with can fit within a polyamorous relationship, which can present a win-win for both you (the player) and your friend (the other player).
answered 1 hour ago
Lexible
3,62831939
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up vote
1
down vote
I would like to offer a frame challenge to your question:
"...my character has extreme trust issues..." Trust issues arise both in polyamorous and monogamous relationship configurations. One can certainly trust in the context of polyamorous partners or relationships, and one can certainly mistrust in the context of monogamous partners or relationships. (And of course the converse is also true.)
Perhaps you (the player) can simply collaborate with your friend (the other player) to slightly reframe the nature of your agenda for the characters emotional/relational constructs? You may find the relationships still play out quite rewardingly, and that the "trust issues" you want to play with can fit within a polyamorous relationship, which can present a win-win for both you (the player) and your friend (the other player).
answered 1 hour ago
Lexible
3,62831939
add a comment |Â
up vote
1
down vote
up vote
1
down vote
I would like to offer a frame challenge to your question:
"...my character has extreme trust issues..." Trust issues arise both in polyamorous and monogamous relationship configurations. One can certainly trust in the context of polyamorous partners or relationships, and one can certainly mistrust in the context of monogamous partners or relationships. (And of course the converse is also true.)
Perhaps you (the player) can simply collaborate with your friend (the other player) to slightly reframe the nature of your agenda for the characters emotional/relational constructs? You may find the relationships still play out quite rewardingly, and that the "trust issues" you want to play with can fit within a polyamorous relationship, which can present a win-win for both you (the player) and your friend (the other player).
answered 1 hour ago
Lexible
3,62831939
I would like to offer a frame challenge to your question:
"...my character has extreme trust issues..." Trust issues arise both in polyamorous and monogamous relationship configurations. One can certainly trust in the context of polyamorous partners or relationships, and one can certainly mistrust in the context of monogamous partners or relationships. (And of course the converse is also true.)
Perhaps you (the player) can simply collaborate with your friend (the other player) to slightly reframe the nature of your agenda for the characters emotional/relational constructs? You may find the relationships still play out quite rewardingly, and that the "trust issues" you want to play with can fit within a polyamorous relationship, which can present a win-win for both you (the player) and your friend (the other player).
answered 1 hour ago
Lexible
3,62831939
answered 1 hour ago
Lexible
3,62831939
answered 1 hour ago
Lexible
3,62831939
answered 1 hour ago
Lexible
3,62831939
3,62831939
add a comment |Â
add a comment |Â
Kaiya is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
Kaiya is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
Kaiya is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
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1
Related: What is “my guy syndrome†and how do I handle it?
– Mike Q
1 hour ago
What is your "real-world" relationship with your fellow player? How much does that have to do with how upset you are?
– Tim Grant
48 mins ago
She is a good friend of mine, but there's no romantic attachment to her at all, if that's what you're asking. This is my first campaign, though, which may have something to do with my reaction to this change in narrative-- though I've roleplayed in other mediums before, I'm not exactly used to the "yes, and..." aspect of improvising, especially when it comes on the heels of something we'd already planned for months.
– Kaiya
43 mins ago
1
Hi Kaiya, thanks for the response. The clarifications you provided should really be edited into your question - the idea is the question should be complete, without needing to read any of the comments. And welcome to StackRPG!
– Tim Grant
20 mins ago