Best Way To Unfriend A Coworker

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TL;DR; I want to unfriend coworker for her overly attached behaviour, but she is also a QA of some of the projects that I develop.



I was dragged into a group of 4 girls at work without me trying to achieve that. We started going for lunch together and even hang out after work from time to time. At the begining everything was great, but after we became closer, two of them started to act really obsessive, bossy and dramatic.



If I refuse to go for lunch with them or hang out after work, they get angry and start dramatic fights on skype, asking for reasons why i won't go eat with them. I have to explain myself all the time. Sometimes i just want to eat alone, reading my book or hang out with other coworkers (as i used to do). They does not understand this and does not accept it as excuse.




For example this is what happened in the last 10 days:



Monday - They arranged party at home. I said i can't go because my sister came in town. They got mad and I lost one work hour to chat,
explain myself and trying to please them.



Tuesday - We got into a really big fight, because i wanted to eat with other friends. We lost about 2 hours at work to chat.



Thursday - They were thrwoing a birthday barty on saturday and i turned down the invitation, because i was invited to a wedding months
ago. I told them right away, not in the last moment, but still they
acted like i did something bad (cold looks and silence for days).



Monday again - They arranged another home party for Thursday. I didn't want to go since this was my only free night of the week. I
wanted to just stay home. It wasn't a valid reason and after i turned
them down 2 times in a row i had to accept.




This was too much for me. I can't concentrate on work and i have pressure even after work.
I can't ignore them in chat, because they are coming to my desk to talk directly.



I tried to explain to them that we are grown ups and have to understand each other for everyone has personal life. Also that i'm not very social person and i need my time alone from time to time. They genuinely don't get that.



THE MAIN PROBLEM: I work directly with one of this drama queens. She tests one of the interfaces i develop and we have official communication where other people are also involved. In the past, she already made some sassy comments about my tasks, but nothing too problematic. I don't want things to go out of hand if i directly unfriend her. Also the other two girls are pretty cool, funny and valuable for me. I don't want to lose connection with them. They agree with me the other are too dramatic and don't like it either, but somehow they manage and don't see it as such big problem as me.



We have HR but i don't think this is case for them. From my eyes, these are "kindergarder problems".



I want to silently leave the group, but i don't know how.









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    TL;DR; I want to unfriend coworker for her overly attached behaviour, but she is also a QA of some of the projects that I develop.



    I was dragged into a group of 4 girls at work without me trying to achieve that. We started going for lunch together and even hang out after work from time to time. At the begining everything was great, but after we became closer, two of them started to act really obsessive, bossy and dramatic.



    If I refuse to go for lunch with them or hang out after work, they get angry and start dramatic fights on skype, asking for reasons why i won't go eat with them. I have to explain myself all the time. Sometimes i just want to eat alone, reading my book or hang out with other coworkers (as i used to do). They does not understand this and does not accept it as excuse.




    For example this is what happened in the last 10 days:



    Monday - They arranged party at home. I said i can't go because my sister came in town. They got mad and I lost one work hour to chat,
    explain myself and trying to please them.



    Tuesday - We got into a really big fight, because i wanted to eat with other friends. We lost about 2 hours at work to chat.



    Thursday - They were thrwoing a birthday barty on saturday and i turned down the invitation, because i was invited to a wedding months
    ago. I told them right away, not in the last moment, but still they
    acted like i did something bad (cold looks and silence for days).



    Monday again - They arranged another home party for Thursday. I didn't want to go since this was my only free night of the week. I
    wanted to just stay home. It wasn't a valid reason and after i turned
    them down 2 times in a row i had to accept.




    This was too much for me. I can't concentrate on work and i have pressure even after work.
    I can't ignore them in chat, because they are coming to my desk to talk directly.



    I tried to explain to them that we are grown ups and have to understand each other for everyone has personal life. Also that i'm not very social person and i need my time alone from time to time. They genuinely don't get that.



    THE MAIN PROBLEM: I work directly with one of this drama queens. She tests one of the interfaces i develop and we have official communication where other people are also involved. In the past, she already made some sassy comments about my tasks, but nothing too problematic. I don't want things to go out of hand if i directly unfriend her. Also the other two girls are pretty cool, funny and valuable for me. I don't want to lose connection with them. They agree with me the other are too dramatic and don't like it either, but somehow they manage and don't see it as such big problem as me.



    We have HR but i don't think this is case for them. From my eyes, these are "kindergarder problems".



    I want to silently leave the group, but i don't know how.









    share























      up vote
      0
      down vote

      favorite









      up vote
      0
      down vote

      favorite











      TL;DR; I want to unfriend coworker for her overly attached behaviour, but she is also a QA of some of the projects that I develop.



      I was dragged into a group of 4 girls at work without me trying to achieve that. We started going for lunch together and even hang out after work from time to time. At the begining everything was great, but after we became closer, two of them started to act really obsessive, bossy and dramatic.



      If I refuse to go for lunch with them or hang out after work, they get angry and start dramatic fights on skype, asking for reasons why i won't go eat with them. I have to explain myself all the time. Sometimes i just want to eat alone, reading my book or hang out with other coworkers (as i used to do). They does not understand this and does not accept it as excuse.




      For example this is what happened in the last 10 days:



      Monday - They arranged party at home. I said i can't go because my sister came in town. They got mad and I lost one work hour to chat,
      explain myself and trying to please them.



      Tuesday - We got into a really big fight, because i wanted to eat with other friends. We lost about 2 hours at work to chat.



      Thursday - They were thrwoing a birthday barty on saturday and i turned down the invitation, because i was invited to a wedding months
      ago. I told them right away, not in the last moment, but still they
      acted like i did something bad (cold looks and silence for days).



      Monday again - They arranged another home party for Thursday. I didn't want to go since this was my only free night of the week. I
      wanted to just stay home. It wasn't a valid reason and after i turned
      them down 2 times in a row i had to accept.




      This was too much for me. I can't concentrate on work and i have pressure even after work.
      I can't ignore them in chat, because they are coming to my desk to talk directly.



      I tried to explain to them that we are grown ups and have to understand each other for everyone has personal life. Also that i'm not very social person and i need my time alone from time to time. They genuinely don't get that.



      THE MAIN PROBLEM: I work directly with one of this drama queens. She tests one of the interfaces i develop and we have official communication where other people are also involved. In the past, she already made some sassy comments about my tasks, but nothing too problematic. I don't want things to go out of hand if i directly unfriend her. Also the other two girls are pretty cool, funny and valuable for me. I don't want to lose connection with them. They agree with me the other are too dramatic and don't like it either, but somehow they manage and don't see it as such big problem as me.



      We have HR but i don't think this is case for them. From my eyes, these are "kindergarder problems".



      I want to silently leave the group, but i don't know how.









      share













      TL;DR; I want to unfriend coworker for her overly attached behaviour, but she is also a QA of some of the projects that I develop.



      I was dragged into a group of 4 girls at work without me trying to achieve that. We started going for lunch together and even hang out after work from time to time. At the begining everything was great, but after we became closer, two of them started to act really obsessive, bossy and dramatic.



      If I refuse to go for lunch with them or hang out after work, they get angry and start dramatic fights on skype, asking for reasons why i won't go eat with them. I have to explain myself all the time. Sometimes i just want to eat alone, reading my book or hang out with other coworkers (as i used to do). They does not understand this and does not accept it as excuse.




      For example this is what happened in the last 10 days:



      Monday - They arranged party at home. I said i can't go because my sister came in town. They got mad and I lost one work hour to chat,
      explain myself and trying to please them.



      Tuesday - We got into a really big fight, because i wanted to eat with other friends. We lost about 2 hours at work to chat.



      Thursday - They were thrwoing a birthday barty on saturday and i turned down the invitation, because i was invited to a wedding months
      ago. I told them right away, not in the last moment, but still they
      acted like i did something bad (cold looks and silence for days).



      Monday again - They arranged another home party for Thursday. I didn't want to go since this was my only free night of the week. I
      wanted to just stay home. It wasn't a valid reason and after i turned
      them down 2 times in a row i had to accept.




      This was too much for me. I can't concentrate on work and i have pressure even after work.
      I can't ignore them in chat, because they are coming to my desk to talk directly.



      I tried to explain to them that we are grown ups and have to understand each other for everyone has personal life. Also that i'm not very social person and i need my time alone from time to time. They genuinely don't get that.



      THE MAIN PROBLEM: I work directly with one of this drama queens. She tests one of the interfaces i develop and we have official communication where other people are also involved. In the past, she already made some sassy comments about my tasks, but nothing too problematic. I don't want things to go out of hand if i directly unfriend her. Also the other two girls are pretty cool, funny and valuable for me. I don't want to lose connection with them. They agree with me the other are too dramatic and don't like it either, but somehow they manage and don't see it as such big problem as me.



      We have HR but i don't think this is case for them. From my eyes, these are "kindergarder problems".



      I want to silently leave the group, but i don't know how.







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      Nyagolova

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