I mistakenly took someone else's lunch; how should I proceed?

Clash Royale CLAN TAG#URR8PPP

.everyoneloves__top-leaderboard:empty,.everyoneloves__mid-leaderboard:empty margin-bottom:0;

up vote
50
down vote

favorite

1

I've been working there for 5 years now, and I maintain very good relationship with my colleagues.

Last week I accidentally took someone else's catered lunch, thinking it was left overs.

This week the company sent an internal email because they received complaints of people getting their lunch stolen from the fridge. They said some generic stuff as a warning, and then specifically mentioned that caterer's boxes are not to be taken from the fridge because they can be reserved to someone else.

I really want to come forward and apologise, offering to pay back the caterer's fee.

Or would it be better to not mention it, since they don't know who did it?

What would be the correct way to approach things from your perspective?

professionalism united-states company-policy lunch

share|improve this question

edited 4 mins ago

animuson♦

3,016124068

asked 23 hours ago

sd7fsjdf8878sd

256125

New contributor

sd7fsjdf8878sd is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.

• 
  
  
  

  
  2
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  Do you know the person well from whom you stole it? Are you able to accurately predict their reaction? Would they be able to take it on the chin and be professional about it?
  – corsiKa
  15 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  17
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  @alephzero wanted to put things right after you have stolen something is not trivial. OP's work even sent an email about it, so it's clearly not a trivial matter,
  – ESR
  14 hours ago
  
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  3
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  @ESR I mistakenly took somebody else's skies from the rack last winter. Even though they were not mine, I did not steal anything and I am not a thief. Intent is key here.
  – Douwe
  6 hours ago
  
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  2
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  IN PERSON talk to your supervisor and mention that you accidentally took the catered lunch and ask them if there is any way which you can right your wrong. Odds are high that all will be forgiven. Your supervisor may extend the apology further up the chain but it's very unlikely that anything will come of this.
  – MonkeyZeus
  4 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  1
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  @Pedro In our office, if we have a department lunch provided, any leftover food is placed in or near the fridge and everyone is open to have some. There is usually an email sent alerting people to the leftovers, but not always. OP may have had similar experiences and assumed that it was "department" leftovers, rather than "coworker" leftovers.
  – techturtle
  22 mins ago
  

  
  
  
  

 | 
show 3 more comments

up vote
50
down vote

favorite

1

I've been working there for 5 years now, and I maintain very good relationship with my colleagues.

Last week I accidentally took someone else's catered lunch, thinking it was left overs.

This week the company sent an internal email because they received complaints of people getting their lunch stolen from the fridge. They said some generic stuff as a warning, and then specifically mentioned that caterer's boxes are not to be taken from the fridge because they can be reserved to someone else.

I really want to come forward and apologise, offering to pay back the caterer's fee.

Or would it be better to not mention it, since they don't know who did it?

What would be the correct way to approach things from your perspective?

professionalism united-states company-policy lunch

share|improve this question

edited 4 mins ago

animuson♦

3,016124068

asked 23 hours ago

sd7fsjdf8878sd

256125

New contributor

sd7fsjdf8878sd is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.

• 
  
  
  

  
  2
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  Do you know the person well from whom you stole it? Are you able to accurately predict their reaction? Would they be able to take it on the chin and be professional about it?
  – corsiKa
  15 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  17
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  @alephzero wanted to put things right after you have stolen something is not trivial. OP's work even sent an email about it, so it's clearly not a trivial matter,
  – ESR
  14 hours ago
  
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  3
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  @ESR I mistakenly took somebody else's skies from the rack last winter. Even though they were not mine, I did not steal anything and I am not a thief. Intent is key here.
  – Douwe
  6 hours ago
  
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  2
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  IN PERSON talk to your supervisor and mention that you accidentally took the catered lunch and ask them if there is any way which you can right your wrong. Odds are high that all will be forgiven. Your supervisor may extend the apology further up the chain but it's very unlikely that anything will come of this.
  – MonkeyZeus
  4 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  1
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  @Pedro In our office, if we have a department lunch provided, any leftover food is placed in or near the fridge and everyone is open to have some. There is usually an email sent alerting people to the leftovers, but not always. OP may have had similar experiences and assumed that it was "department" leftovers, rather than "coworker" leftovers.
  – techturtle
  22 mins ago
  

  
  
  
  

 | 
show 3 more comments

up vote
50
down vote

favorite

1

up vote
50
down vote

favorite

1

1

I've been working there for 5 years now, and I maintain very good relationship with my colleagues.

Last week I accidentally took someone else's catered lunch, thinking it was left overs.

This week the company sent an internal email because they received complaints of people getting their lunch stolen from the fridge. They said some generic stuff as a warning, and then specifically mentioned that caterer's boxes are not to be taken from the fridge because they can be reserved to someone else.

I really want to come forward and apologise, offering to pay back the caterer's fee.

Or would it be better to not mention it, since they don't know who did it?

What would be the correct way to approach things from your perspective?

professionalism united-states company-policy lunch

share|improve this question

edited 4 mins ago

animuson♦

3,016124068

asked 23 hours ago

sd7fsjdf8878sd

256125

New contributor

sd7fsjdf8878sd is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.

I've been working there for 5 years now, and I maintain very good relationship with my colleagues.

Last week I accidentally took someone else's catered lunch, thinking it was left overs.

This week the company sent an internal email because they received complaints of people getting their lunch stolen from the fridge. They said some generic stuff as a warning, and then specifically mentioned that caterer's boxes are not to be taken from the fridge because they can be reserved to someone else.

I really want to come forward and apologise, offering to pay back the caterer's fee.

Or would it be better to not mention it, since they don't know who did it?

What would be the correct way to approach things from your perspective?

professionalism united-states company-policy lunch

professionalism united-states company-policy lunch

share|improve this question

edited 4 mins ago

animuson♦

3,016124068

asked 23 hours ago

sd7fsjdf8878sd

256125

New contributor

sd7fsjdf8878sd is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.

share|improve this question

edited 4 mins ago

animuson♦

3,016124068

asked 23 hours ago

sd7fsjdf8878sd

256125

New contributor

sd7fsjdf8878sd is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.

share|improve this question

share|improve this question

edited 4 mins ago

animuson♦

3,016124068

edited 4 mins ago

animuson♦

3,016124068

edited 4 mins ago

animuson♦

3,016124068

3,016124068

asked 23 hours ago

sd7fsjdf8878sd

256125

New contributor

sd7fsjdf8878sd is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.

asked 23 hours ago

sd7fsjdf8878sd

256125

asked 23 hours ago

sd7fsjdf8878sd

256125

256125

New contributor

sd7fsjdf8878sd is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.

New contributor

sd7fsjdf8878sd is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.

sd7fsjdf8878sd is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.

• 
  
  
  

  
  2
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  Do you know the person well from whom you stole it? Are you able to accurately predict their reaction? Would they be able to take it on the chin and be professional about it?
  – corsiKa
  15 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  17
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  @alephzero wanted to put things right after you have stolen something is not trivial. OP's work even sent an email about it, so it's clearly not a trivial matter,
  – ESR
  14 hours ago
  
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  3
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  @ESR I mistakenly took somebody else's skies from the rack last winter. Even though they were not mine, I did not steal anything and I am not a thief. Intent is key here.
  – Douwe
  6 hours ago
  
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  2
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  IN PERSON talk to your supervisor and mention that you accidentally took the catered lunch and ask them if there is any way which you can right your wrong. Odds are high that all will be forgiven. Your supervisor may extend the apology further up the chain but it's very unlikely that anything will come of this.
  – MonkeyZeus
  4 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  1
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  @Pedro In our office, if we have a department lunch provided, any leftover food is placed in or near the fridge and everyone is open to have some. There is usually an email sent alerting people to the leftovers, but not always. OP may have had similar experiences and assumed that it was "department" leftovers, rather than "coworker" leftovers.
  – techturtle
  22 mins ago
  

  
  
  
  

 | 
show 3 more comments

• 
  
  
  

  
  2
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  Do you know the person well from whom you stole it? Are you able to accurately predict their reaction? Would they be able to take it on the chin and be professional about it?
  – corsiKa
  15 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  17
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  @alephzero wanted to put things right after you have stolen something is not trivial. OP's work even sent an email about it, so it's clearly not a trivial matter,
  – ESR
  14 hours ago
  
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  3
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  @ESR I mistakenly took somebody else's skies from the rack last winter. Even though they were not mine, I did not steal anything and I am not a thief. Intent is key here.
  – Douwe
  6 hours ago
  
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  2
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  IN PERSON talk to your supervisor and mention that you accidentally took the catered lunch and ask them if there is any way which you can right your wrong. Odds are high that all will be forgiven. Your supervisor may extend the apology further up the chain but it's very unlikely that anything will come of this.
  – MonkeyZeus
  4 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  1
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  @Pedro In our office, if we have a department lunch provided, any leftover food is placed in or near the fridge and everyone is open to have some. There is usually an email sent alerting people to the leftovers, but not always. OP may have had similar experiences and assumed that it was "department" leftovers, rather than "coworker" leftovers.
  – techturtle
  22 mins ago
  

  
  
  
  

2

2

Do you know the person well from whom you stole it? Are you able to accurately predict their reaction? Would they be able to take it on the chin and be professional about it?
– corsiKa
15 hours ago

Do you know the person well from whom you stole it? Are you able to accurately predict their reaction? Would they be able to take it on the chin and be professional about it?
– corsiKa
15 hours ago

17

17

@alephzero wanted to put things right after you have stolen something is not trivial. OP's work even sent an email about it, so it's clearly not a trivial matter,
– ESR
14 hours ago

@alephzero wanted to put things right after you have stolen something is not trivial. OP's work even sent an email about it, so it's clearly not a trivial matter,
– ESR
14 hours ago

3

3

@ESR I mistakenly took somebody else's skies from the rack last winter. Even though they were not mine, I did not steal anything and I am not a thief. Intent is key here.
– Douwe
6 hours ago

@ESR I mistakenly took somebody else's skies from the rack last winter. Even though they were not mine, I did not steal anything and I am not a thief. Intent is key here.
– Douwe
6 hours ago

2

2

IN PERSON talk to your supervisor and mention that you accidentally took the catered lunch and ask them if there is any way which you can right your wrong. Odds are high that all will be forgiven. Your supervisor may extend the apology further up the chain but it's very unlikely that anything will come of this.
– MonkeyZeus
4 hours ago

IN PERSON talk to your supervisor and mention that you accidentally took the catered lunch and ask them if there is any way which you can right your wrong. Odds are high that all will be forgiven. Your supervisor may extend the apology further up the chain but it's very unlikely that anything will come of this.
– MonkeyZeus
4 hours ago

1

1

@Pedro In our office, if we have a department lunch provided, any leftover food is placed in or near the fridge and everyone is open to have some. There is usually an email sent alerting people to the leftovers, but not always. OP may have had similar experiences and assumed that it was "department" leftovers, rather than "coworker" leftovers.
– techturtle
22 mins ago

@Pedro In our office, if we have a department lunch provided, any leftover food is placed in or near the fridge and everyone is open to have some. There is usually an email sent alerting people to the leftovers, but not always. OP may have had similar experiences and assumed that it was "department" leftovers, rather than "coworker" leftovers.
– techturtle
22 mins ago

 | 
show 3 more comments

7 Answers
7

active

oldest

votes

up vote
127
down vote



accepted

I really want to come forward and say something among the lines of
"I'm really sorry, I meant no ill intention, it was all a mistake and
I can even offer to pay back the caterer's fee if you want.", since
I'm a very honest person.

That is exactly what you should do. You are an honest person and honest people admit their mistakes. And everyone makes mistakes.

A heartfelt apology is all that is needed here. And almost without exception honest, heartfelt apologies are accepted graciously.

But I've talked about this to several people outside my job and all of
them told me to basically "shut the hell up about it and to not
mention it. They don't know who did it, learn about your mistakes and
never do it again".

I agree with the part about learn from your mistakes and never do it again. The rest isn't honest enough for me (and perhaps for you).

share|improve this answer

edited 19 hours ago

answered 22 hours ago

Joe Strazzere

229k112674949

• 
  
  
  

  
  22
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  +1. FWIW, given the bit in the message "that caterer's boxes are not to be taken from the fridge because they can be reserved to someone else", I suspect that everyone already understands that this was just a mistake.
  – ruakh
  19 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  9
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  I'd like to add that you should not be all apologetic beyond reasonable. You made a mistake, it happens. Own up your mistake, but dont let it be a big thing.
  – Martijn
  9 hours ago
  
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  1
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  If they won't let you pay for it, you could donate a big box of donuts and label it appropriately.
  – RedSonja
  9 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  1
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  @Twyxz that's why it has to be a big box. Everybody who likes donuts can have one. Everybody's happy.
  – RedSonja
  6 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  1
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  I'd just add that if honesty is an important value for you, only offer to pay back the caterer's fee if you're genuinely willing to do so. It's disingenuous to offer to do something then act surprised when they take you up on it, no matter how well you think you're hiding it.
  – Meelah
  5 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  

 | 
show 5 more comments

up vote
17
down vote

What would be the correct way to approach things from your perspective?

You say you want to come clean, so I suggest you listen to yourself and do it. I am sure that if they wanted to find out who actually grabbed those plates they could, so no point in denying it (as per the ill advice some people gave you).

Ask your manager for a talk, and explain the situation. Do it similarly to the way you did it here with us; explain you did not intended to take anyone's lunch, and mistakenly took that plate assuming they were leftovers.

After that you can discuss with your manager how to work this out, possibly resulting in just a reminder of the use and rules of the food and cafeteria, or well in you replacing the dishes you took. Anyways, not a life or death situation...

Next time, try to be more careful when taking food from the fridge, and double check if it has no owner. When in doubt, it's best to leave it and avoid a possible misunderstanding.

share|improve this answer

edited 6 hours ago

Joe Strazzere

229k112674949

answered 23 hours ago

DarkCygnus

29.3k1354127

add a comment | 

up vote
4
down vote

There seems to be two issues here:

1. The food is being stolen regularly for a longer time.


2. OP has accidentally stole one of the food boxes.

The first is indicated by the quite bitter internal email. Usually one does not use this tool if it happened once a year or for the first time.

If you know whose meal you ate or if it is possible to find the one (somebody has written the send-to-all email and somebody has to complain about it) you can go find them, make the apology, clearly state it was a mistake that you do not want to make again. You can offer a meal back of their choice.

If they are sane, they will understand and accept the apology. If they storm you should avoid them.

In both cases it is win scenario for you.

share|improve this answer

answered 7 hours ago

Crowley

1,11837

• 
  
  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  Well spotted that this probably wasn't the first time. +1. If OP admits, then there's going to be suspicion over all the other times...
  – Tim
  4 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  

add a comment | 

up vote
1
down vote

Admitting a mistake and making it right is a good thing to do when it is not disruptive. If HR will allow you to repay the cost of the meal through them without revealing the identity of whoever complained, then that could be done without ruffling any feathers.

If you must publicly own up and your complainer must also make themselves public, this becomes a much more difficult situation and it may be too disruptive to make right.

share|improve this answer

answered 18 hours ago

silver

191

New contributor

silver is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.

add a comment | 

up vote
1
down vote

"I accidentally took a lunch from the fridge, thinking it was leftovers. I'm sorry for the mistake. To whoever's lunch it was: Can I buy you lunch or reimburse you for the lunch I took?"

share|improve this answer

answered 4 hours ago

Matthew Masarik

211

New contributor

Matthew Masarik is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.

• 
  
  
  

  
  3
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  this seems to merely repeat points made (and much better explained) in top answer that was posted several hours before. See Back It Up and Don't Repeat Others
  – gnat
  4 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  Welcome to WP SE! While your suggested course of action is a good one could you provide some differentiation from any of the other answers that are similar? If you actually just want to show you agree with another answer it's better to upvote their answer instead.
  – motosubatsu
  2 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  

add a comment | 

up vote
0
down vote

I would simply apologise anonymously. You could leave a note to explain that it was an honest mistake and that it won't happen again, which will give them the comfort of knowing that it wasn't out and out theft, but without invoking the complication of them knowing who it was - which they don't need to.

share|improve this answer

answered 7 hours ago

BenTaylor

171

New contributor

BenTaylor is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.

• 
  
  
  

  
  1
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  Put something delicious, a bit special, but not too expensive (a cupcake, some small cake, some wagashi, some cookies, whatever in your country is acceptable as a small eatable gift) where you found the food, write an small note "I am sorry, I thought it was leftovers. It won't happen again - hope you can accept this as a kind of replacement". I would sign it with my first name, but that depends on the social structure in your company/country. (cant post here yet, so adding it as a comment, hope you dont mind Ben, feel free to merge the text with your answer if you like)
  – user2567875
  4 hours ago
  
  

  
  
  
  

add a comment | 

up vote
-2
down vote

It was just a lunch - a slight one-time annoyance. You may have been the straw that broke the camel's back regarding a problem which already existed at your workplace.

You should have apologized when there was an opportunity to do it under harmless conditions, before the situation received a certain level of escalation. It won't improve with you admitting a singular mistake. If anything, you'd become the first to be accused in the future and your reputation may receive an unfair taint - even though you could be the smallest perpetrator.

Deal with your consciousness without sabotaging yourself for immediate relief. Simply avoid doing that mistake again.

share|improve this answer

answered 11 hours ago

Battle

1756

• 
  
  
  

  
  2
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  Would this approach not harm you much more if someone later finds out that you (1) were the one who took the food and (2) lied or never came clean about it?
  – Therkel
  11 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  Yes it would. But given the scenario it seems likely that it won't ever come out. And if it would, the other perpetrators (assuming the situation wouldn't escalate like that due to only one single occurrence), who would have done it more often would be the ones to be found first (or solely). Generally it's unlikely there is any investigation, and even if, that it would succeed. If it would succeed, a confession would likely still be necessary. I'd estimate the risk to be minuscule to near non-existent.
  – Battle
  11 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  I see people downvoting this. Admit it - you claim to value truth, and virtue signal how you live by it - but most of you can't even handle the truth. You prefer the soft lies of decency and courtesy, accept lies without question. Nothing wrong about that - we don't need to fuel conflicts just for fun. But it's hypocritical to advise others to be truthful while most of you wouldn't dare to do yourself. Not only that - most of you would condemn, punish or resent the one telling the truth. It's a commodity no longer appreciated by the majority of society.
  – Battle
  3 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  

add a comment | 

protected by Community♦ 4 hours ago

Thank you for your interest in this question.
Because it has attracted low-quality or spam answers that had to be removed, posting an answer now requires 10 reputation on this site (the association bonus does not count).



Would you like to answer one of these unanswered questions instead?

7 Answers
7

active

oldest

votes

7 Answers
7

active

oldest

votes

active

oldest

votes

active

oldest

votes

up vote
127
down vote



accepted

I really want to come forward and say something among the lines of
"I'm really sorry, I meant no ill intention, it was all a mistake and
I can even offer to pay back the caterer's fee if you want.", since
I'm a very honest person.

That is exactly what you should do. You are an honest person and honest people admit their mistakes. And everyone makes mistakes.

A heartfelt apology is all that is needed here. And almost without exception honest, heartfelt apologies are accepted graciously.

But I've talked about this to several people outside my job and all of
them told me to basically "shut the hell up about it and to not
mention it. They don't know who did it, learn about your mistakes and
never do it again".

I agree with the part about learn from your mistakes and never do it again. The rest isn't honest enough for me (and perhaps for you).

share|improve this answer

edited 19 hours ago

answered 22 hours ago

Joe Strazzere

229k112674949

• 
  
  
  

  
  22
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  +1. FWIW, given the bit in the message "that caterer's boxes are not to be taken from the fridge because they can be reserved to someone else", I suspect that everyone already understands that this was just a mistake.
  – ruakh
  19 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  9
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  I'd like to add that you should not be all apologetic beyond reasonable. You made a mistake, it happens. Own up your mistake, but dont let it be a big thing.
  – Martijn
  9 hours ago
  
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  1
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  If they won't let you pay for it, you could donate a big box of donuts and label it appropriately.
  – RedSonja
  9 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  1
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  @Twyxz that's why it has to be a big box. Everybody who likes donuts can have one. Everybody's happy.
  – RedSonja
  6 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  1
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  I'd just add that if honesty is an important value for you, only offer to pay back the caterer's fee if you're genuinely willing to do so. It's disingenuous to offer to do something then act surprised when they take you up on it, no matter how well you think you're hiding it.
  – Meelah
  5 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  

 | 
show 5 more comments

up vote
127
down vote



accepted

I really want to come forward and say something among the lines of
"I'm really sorry, I meant no ill intention, it was all a mistake and
I can even offer to pay back the caterer's fee if you want.", since
I'm a very honest person.

That is exactly what you should do. You are an honest person and honest people admit their mistakes. And everyone makes mistakes.

A heartfelt apology is all that is needed here. And almost without exception honest, heartfelt apologies are accepted graciously.

But I've talked about this to several people outside my job and all of
them told me to basically "shut the hell up about it and to not
mention it. They don't know who did it, learn about your mistakes and
never do it again".

I agree with the part about learn from your mistakes and never do it again. The rest isn't honest enough for me (and perhaps for you).

share|improve this answer

edited 19 hours ago

answered 22 hours ago

Joe Strazzere

229k112674949

• 
  
  
  

  
  22
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  +1. FWIW, given the bit in the message "that caterer's boxes are not to be taken from the fridge because they can be reserved to someone else", I suspect that everyone already understands that this was just a mistake.
  – ruakh
  19 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  9
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  I'd like to add that you should not be all apologetic beyond reasonable. You made a mistake, it happens. Own up your mistake, but dont let it be a big thing.
  – Martijn
  9 hours ago
  
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  1
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  If they won't let you pay for it, you could donate a big box of donuts and label it appropriately.
  – RedSonja
  9 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  1
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  @Twyxz that's why it has to be a big box. Everybody who likes donuts can have one. Everybody's happy.
  – RedSonja
  6 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  1
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  I'd just add that if honesty is an important value for you, only offer to pay back the caterer's fee if you're genuinely willing to do so. It's disingenuous to offer to do something then act surprised when they take you up on it, no matter how well you think you're hiding it.
  – Meelah
  5 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  

 | 
show 5 more comments

up vote
127
down vote



accepted

up vote
127
down vote



accepted

I really want to come forward and say something among the lines of
"I'm really sorry, I meant no ill intention, it was all a mistake and
I can even offer to pay back the caterer's fee if you want.", since
I'm a very honest person.

That is exactly what you should do. You are an honest person and honest people admit their mistakes. And everyone makes mistakes.

A heartfelt apology is all that is needed here. And almost without exception honest, heartfelt apologies are accepted graciously.

But I've talked about this to several people outside my job and all of
them told me to basically "shut the hell up about it and to not
mention it. They don't know who did it, learn about your mistakes and
never do it again".

I agree with the part about learn from your mistakes and never do it again. The rest isn't honest enough for me (and perhaps for you).

share|improve this answer

edited 19 hours ago

answered 22 hours ago

Joe Strazzere

229k112674949

I really want to come forward and say something among the lines of
"I'm really sorry, I meant no ill intention, it was all a mistake and
I can even offer to pay back the caterer's fee if you want.", since
I'm a very honest person.

That is exactly what you should do. You are an honest person and honest people admit their mistakes. And everyone makes mistakes.

A heartfelt apology is all that is needed here. And almost without exception honest, heartfelt apologies are accepted graciously.

But I've talked about this to several people outside my job and all of
them told me to basically "shut the hell up about it and to not
mention it. They don't know who did it, learn about your mistakes and
never do it again".

I agree with the part about learn from your mistakes and never do it again. The rest isn't honest enough for me (and perhaps for you).

share|improve this answer

edited 19 hours ago

answered 22 hours ago

Joe Strazzere

229k112674949

share|improve this answer

share|improve this answer

edited 19 hours ago

edited 19 hours ago

edited 19 hours ago

answered 22 hours ago

Joe Strazzere

229k112674949

answered 22 hours ago

Joe Strazzere

229k112674949

answered 22 hours ago

Joe Strazzere

229k112674949

229k112674949

• 
  
  
  

  
  22
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  +1. FWIW, given the bit in the message "that caterer's boxes are not to be taken from the fridge because they can be reserved to someone else", I suspect that everyone already understands that this was just a mistake.
  – ruakh
  19 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  9
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  I'd like to add that you should not be all apologetic beyond reasonable. You made a mistake, it happens. Own up your mistake, but dont let it be a big thing.
  – Martijn
  9 hours ago
  
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  1
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  If they won't let you pay for it, you could donate a big box of donuts and label it appropriately.
  – RedSonja
  9 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  1
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  @Twyxz that's why it has to be a big box. Everybody who likes donuts can have one. Everybody's happy.
  – RedSonja
  6 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  1
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  I'd just add that if honesty is an important value for you, only offer to pay back the caterer's fee if you're genuinely willing to do so. It's disingenuous to offer to do something then act surprised when they take you up on it, no matter how well you think you're hiding it.
  – Meelah
  5 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  

 | 
show 5 more comments

• 
  
  
  

  
  22
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  +1. FWIW, given the bit in the message "that caterer's boxes are not to be taken from the fridge because they can be reserved to someone else", I suspect that everyone already understands that this was just a mistake.
  – ruakh
  19 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  9
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  I'd like to add that you should not be all apologetic beyond reasonable. You made a mistake, it happens. Own up your mistake, but dont let it be a big thing.
  – Martijn
  9 hours ago
  
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  1
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  If they won't let you pay for it, you could donate a big box of donuts and label it appropriately.
  – RedSonja
  9 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  1
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  @Twyxz that's why it has to be a big box. Everybody who likes donuts can have one. Everybody's happy.
  – RedSonja
  6 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  1
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  I'd just add that if honesty is an important value for you, only offer to pay back the caterer's fee if you're genuinely willing to do so. It's disingenuous to offer to do something then act surprised when they take you up on it, no matter how well you think you're hiding it.
  – Meelah
  5 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  

22

22

+1. FWIW, given the bit in the message "that caterer's boxes are not to be taken from the fridge because they can be reserved to someone else", I suspect that everyone already understands that this was just a mistake.
– ruakh
19 hours ago

+1. FWIW, given the bit in the message "that caterer's boxes are not to be taken from the fridge because they can be reserved to someone else", I suspect that everyone already understands that this was just a mistake.
– ruakh
19 hours ago

9

9

I'd like to add that you should not be all apologetic beyond reasonable. You made a mistake, it happens. Own up your mistake, but dont let it be a big thing.
– Martijn
9 hours ago

I'd like to add that you should not be all apologetic beyond reasonable. You made a mistake, it happens. Own up your mistake, but dont let it be a big thing.
– Martijn
9 hours ago

1

1

If they won't let you pay for it, you could donate a big box of donuts and label it appropriately.
– RedSonja
9 hours ago

If they won't let you pay for it, you could donate a big box of donuts and label it appropriately.
– RedSonja
9 hours ago

1

1

@Twyxz that's why it has to be a big box. Everybody who likes donuts can have one. Everybody's happy.
– RedSonja
6 hours ago

@Twyxz that's why it has to be a big box. Everybody who likes donuts can have one. Everybody's happy.
– RedSonja
6 hours ago

1

1

I'd just add that if honesty is an important value for you, only offer to pay back the caterer's fee if you're genuinely willing to do so. It's disingenuous to offer to do something then act surprised when they take you up on it, no matter how well you think you're hiding it.
– Meelah
5 hours ago

I'd just add that if honesty is an important value for you, only offer to pay back the caterer's fee if you're genuinely willing to do so. It's disingenuous to offer to do something then act surprised when they take you up on it, no matter how well you think you're hiding it.
– Meelah
5 hours ago

 | 
show 5 more comments

up vote
17
down vote

What would be the correct way to approach things from your perspective?

You say you want to come clean, so I suggest you listen to yourself and do it. I am sure that if they wanted to find out who actually grabbed those plates they could, so no point in denying it (as per the ill advice some people gave you).

Ask your manager for a talk, and explain the situation. Do it similarly to the way you did it here with us; explain you did not intended to take anyone's lunch, and mistakenly took that plate assuming they were leftovers.

After that you can discuss with your manager how to work this out, possibly resulting in just a reminder of the use and rules of the food and cafeteria, or well in you replacing the dishes you took. Anyways, not a life or death situation...

Next time, try to be more careful when taking food from the fridge, and double check if it has no owner. When in doubt, it's best to leave it and avoid a possible misunderstanding.

share|improve this answer

edited 6 hours ago

Joe Strazzere

229k112674949

answered 23 hours ago

DarkCygnus

29.3k1354127

add a comment | 

up vote
17
down vote

What would be the correct way to approach things from your perspective?

You say you want to come clean, so I suggest you listen to yourself and do it. I am sure that if they wanted to find out who actually grabbed those plates they could, so no point in denying it (as per the ill advice some people gave you).

Ask your manager for a talk, and explain the situation. Do it similarly to the way you did it here with us; explain you did not intended to take anyone's lunch, and mistakenly took that plate assuming they were leftovers.

After that you can discuss with your manager how to work this out, possibly resulting in just a reminder of the use and rules of the food and cafeteria, or well in you replacing the dishes you took. Anyways, not a life or death situation...

Next time, try to be more careful when taking food from the fridge, and double check if it has no owner. When in doubt, it's best to leave it and avoid a possible misunderstanding.

share|improve this answer

edited 6 hours ago

Joe Strazzere

229k112674949

answered 23 hours ago

DarkCygnus

29.3k1354127

add a comment | 

up vote
17
down vote

up vote
17
down vote

What would be the correct way to approach things from your perspective?

You say you want to come clean, so I suggest you listen to yourself and do it. I am sure that if they wanted to find out who actually grabbed those plates they could, so no point in denying it (as per the ill advice some people gave you).

Ask your manager for a talk, and explain the situation. Do it similarly to the way you did it here with us; explain you did not intended to take anyone's lunch, and mistakenly took that plate assuming they were leftovers.

After that you can discuss with your manager how to work this out, possibly resulting in just a reminder of the use and rules of the food and cafeteria, or well in you replacing the dishes you took. Anyways, not a life or death situation...

Next time, try to be more careful when taking food from the fridge, and double check if it has no owner. When in doubt, it's best to leave it and avoid a possible misunderstanding.

share|improve this answer

edited 6 hours ago

Joe Strazzere

229k112674949

answered 23 hours ago

DarkCygnus

29.3k1354127

What would be the correct way to approach things from your perspective?

You say you want to come clean, so I suggest you listen to yourself and do it. I am sure that if they wanted to find out who actually grabbed those plates they could, so no point in denying it (as per the ill advice some people gave you).

Ask your manager for a talk, and explain the situation. Do it similarly to the way you did it here with us; explain you did not intended to take anyone's lunch, and mistakenly took that plate assuming they were leftovers.

After that you can discuss with your manager how to work this out, possibly resulting in just a reminder of the use and rules of the food and cafeteria, or well in you replacing the dishes you took. Anyways, not a life or death situation...

Next time, try to be more careful when taking food from the fridge, and double check if it has no owner. When in doubt, it's best to leave it and avoid a possible misunderstanding.

share|improve this answer

edited 6 hours ago

Joe Strazzere

229k112674949

answered 23 hours ago

DarkCygnus

29.3k1354127

share|improve this answer

share|improve this answer

edited 6 hours ago

Joe Strazzere

229k112674949

edited 6 hours ago

Joe Strazzere

229k112674949

edited 6 hours ago

Joe Strazzere

229k112674949

229k112674949

answered 23 hours ago

DarkCygnus

29.3k1354127

answered 23 hours ago

DarkCygnus

29.3k1354127

answered 23 hours ago

DarkCygnus

29.3k1354127

29.3k1354127

add a comment | 

add a comment | 

up vote
4
down vote

There seems to be two issues here:

1. The food is being stolen regularly for a longer time.


2. OP has accidentally stole one of the food boxes.

The first is indicated by the quite bitter internal email. Usually one does not use this tool if it happened once a year or for the first time.

If you know whose meal you ate or if it is possible to find the one (somebody has written the send-to-all email and somebody has to complain about it) you can go find them, make the apology, clearly state it was a mistake that you do not want to make again. You can offer a meal back of their choice.

If they are sane, they will understand and accept the apology. If they storm you should avoid them.

In both cases it is win scenario for you.

share|improve this answer

answered 7 hours ago

Crowley

1,11837

• 
  
  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  Well spotted that this probably wasn't the first time. +1. If OP admits, then there's going to be suspicion over all the other times...
  – Tim
  4 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  

add a comment | 

up vote
4
down vote

There seems to be two issues here:

1. The food is being stolen regularly for a longer time.


2. OP has accidentally stole one of the food boxes.

The first is indicated by the quite bitter internal email. Usually one does not use this tool if it happened once a year or for the first time.

If you know whose meal you ate or if it is possible to find the one (somebody has written the send-to-all email and somebody has to complain about it) you can go find them, make the apology, clearly state it was a mistake that you do not want to make again. You can offer a meal back of their choice.

If they are sane, they will understand and accept the apology. If they storm you should avoid them.

In both cases it is win scenario for you.

share|improve this answer

answered 7 hours ago

Crowley

1,11837

• 
  
  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  Well spotted that this probably wasn't the first time. +1. If OP admits, then there's going to be suspicion over all the other times...
  – Tim
  4 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  

add a comment | 

up vote
4
down vote

up vote
4
down vote

There seems to be two issues here:

1. The food is being stolen regularly for a longer time.


2. OP has accidentally stole one of the food boxes.

The first is indicated by the quite bitter internal email. Usually one does not use this tool if it happened once a year or for the first time.

If you know whose meal you ate or if it is possible to find the one (somebody has written the send-to-all email and somebody has to complain about it) you can go find them, make the apology, clearly state it was a mistake that you do not want to make again. You can offer a meal back of their choice.

If they are sane, they will understand and accept the apology. If they storm you should avoid them.

In both cases it is win scenario for you.

share|improve this answer

answered 7 hours ago

Crowley

1,11837

There seems to be two issues here:

1. The food is being stolen regularly for a longer time.


2. OP has accidentally stole one of the food boxes.

The first is indicated by the quite bitter internal email. Usually one does not use this tool if it happened once a year or for the first time.

If you know whose meal you ate or if it is possible to find the one (somebody has written the send-to-all email and somebody has to complain about it) you can go find them, make the apology, clearly state it was a mistake that you do not want to make again. You can offer a meal back of their choice.

If they are sane, they will understand and accept the apology. If they storm you should avoid them.

In both cases it is win scenario for you.

share|improve this answer

answered 7 hours ago

Crowley

1,11837

share|improve this answer

share|improve this answer

answered 7 hours ago

Crowley

1,11837

answered 7 hours ago

Crowley

1,11837

answered 7 hours ago

Crowley

1,11837

1,11837

• 
  
  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  Well spotted that this probably wasn't the first time. +1. If OP admits, then there's going to be suspicion over all the other times...
  – Tim
  4 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  

add a comment | 

• 
  
  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  Well spotted that this probably wasn't the first time. +1. If OP admits, then there's going to be suspicion over all the other times...
  – Tim
  4 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  

Well spotted that this probably wasn't the first time. +1. If OP admits, then there's going to be suspicion over all the other times...
– Tim
4 hours ago

Well spotted that this probably wasn't the first time. +1. If OP admits, then there's going to be suspicion over all the other times...
– Tim
4 hours ago

add a comment | 

up vote
1
down vote

Admitting a mistake and making it right is a good thing to do when it is not disruptive. If HR will allow you to repay the cost of the meal through them without revealing the identity of whoever complained, then that could be done without ruffling any feathers.

If you must publicly own up and your complainer must also make themselves public, this becomes a much more difficult situation and it may be too disruptive to make right.

share|improve this answer

answered 18 hours ago

silver

191

New contributor

silver is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.

add a comment | 

up vote
1
down vote

Admitting a mistake and making it right is a good thing to do when it is not disruptive. If HR will allow you to repay the cost of the meal through them without revealing the identity of whoever complained, then that could be done without ruffling any feathers.

If you must publicly own up and your complainer must also make themselves public, this becomes a much more difficult situation and it may be too disruptive to make right.

share|improve this answer

answered 18 hours ago

silver

191

New contributor

silver is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.

add a comment | 

up vote
1
down vote

up vote
1
down vote

Admitting a mistake and making it right is a good thing to do when it is not disruptive. If HR will allow you to repay the cost of the meal through them without revealing the identity of whoever complained, then that could be done without ruffling any feathers.

If you must publicly own up and your complainer must also make themselves public, this becomes a much more difficult situation and it may be too disruptive to make right.

share|improve this answer

answered 18 hours ago

silver

191

New contributor

silver is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.

Admitting a mistake and making it right is a good thing to do when it is not disruptive. If HR will allow you to repay the cost of the meal through them without revealing the identity of whoever complained, then that could be done without ruffling any feathers.

If you must publicly own up and your complainer must also make themselves public, this becomes a much more difficult situation and it may be too disruptive to make right.

share|improve this answer

answered 18 hours ago

silver

191

New contributor

silver is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.

share|improve this answer

share|improve this answer

answered 18 hours ago

silver

191

New contributor

silver is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.

answered 18 hours ago

silver

191

answered 18 hours ago

silver

191

191

New contributor

silver is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.

New contributor

silver is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.

silver is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.

add a comment | 

add a comment | 

up vote
1
down vote

"I accidentally took a lunch from the fridge, thinking it was leftovers. I'm sorry for the mistake. To whoever's lunch it was: Can I buy you lunch or reimburse you for the lunch I took?"

share|improve this answer

answered 4 hours ago

Matthew Masarik

211

New contributor

Matthew Masarik is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.

• 
  
  
  

  
  3
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  this seems to merely repeat points made (and much better explained) in top answer that was posted several hours before. See Back It Up and Don't Repeat Others
  – gnat
  4 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  Welcome to WP SE! While your suggested course of action is a good one could you provide some differentiation from any of the other answers that are similar? If you actually just want to show you agree with another answer it's better to upvote their answer instead.
  – motosubatsu
  2 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  

add a comment | 

up vote
1
down vote

"I accidentally took a lunch from the fridge, thinking it was leftovers. I'm sorry for the mistake. To whoever's lunch it was: Can I buy you lunch or reimburse you for the lunch I took?"

share|improve this answer

answered 4 hours ago

Matthew Masarik

211

New contributor

Matthew Masarik is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.

• 
  
  
  

  
  3
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  this seems to merely repeat points made (and much better explained) in top answer that was posted several hours before. See Back It Up and Don't Repeat Others
  – gnat
  4 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  Welcome to WP SE! While your suggested course of action is a good one could you provide some differentiation from any of the other answers that are similar? If you actually just want to show you agree with another answer it's better to upvote their answer instead.
  – motosubatsu
  2 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  

add a comment | 

up vote
1
down vote

up vote
1
down vote

"I accidentally took a lunch from the fridge, thinking it was leftovers. I'm sorry for the mistake. To whoever's lunch it was: Can I buy you lunch or reimburse you for the lunch I took?"

share|improve this answer

answered 4 hours ago

Matthew Masarik

211

New contributor

Matthew Masarik is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.

"I accidentally took a lunch from the fridge, thinking it was leftovers. I'm sorry for the mistake. To whoever's lunch it was: Can I buy you lunch or reimburse you for the lunch I took?"

share|improve this answer

answered 4 hours ago

Matthew Masarik

211

New contributor

Matthew Masarik is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.

share|improve this answer

share|improve this answer

answered 4 hours ago

Matthew Masarik

211

New contributor

Matthew Masarik is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.

answered 4 hours ago

Matthew Masarik

211

answered 4 hours ago

Matthew Masarik

211

211

New contributor

Matthew Masarik is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.

New contributor

Matthew Masarik is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.

Matthew Masarik is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.

• 
  
  
  

  
  3
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  this seems to merely repeat points made (and much better explained) in top answer that was posted several hours before. See Back It Up and Don't Repeat Others
  – gnat
  4 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  Welcome to WP SE! While your suggested course of action is a good one could you provide some differentiation from any of the other answers that are similar? If you actually just want to show you agree with another answer it's better to upvote their answer instead.
  – motosubatsu
  2 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  

add a comment | 

• 
  
  
  

  
  3
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  this seems to merely repeat points made (and much better explained) in top answer that was posted several hours before. See Back It Up and Don't Repeat Others
  – gnat
  4 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  Welcome to WP SE! While your suggested course of action is a good one could you provide some differentiation from any of the other answers that are similar? If you actually just want to show you agree with another answer it's better to upvote their answer instead.
  – motosubatsu
  2 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  

3

3

this seems to merely repeat points made (and much better explained) in top answer that was posted several hours before. See Back It Up and Don't Repeat Others
– gnat
4 hours ago

this seems to merely repeat points made (and much better explained) in top answer that was posted several hours before. See Back It Up and Don't Repeat Others
– gnat
4 hours ago

Welcome to WP SE! While your suggested course of action is a good one could you provide some differentiation from any of the other answers that are similar? If you actually just want to show you agree with another answer it's better to upvote their answer instead.
– motosubatsu
2 hours ago

Welcome to WP SE! While your suggested course of action is a good one could you provide some differentiation from any of the other answers that are similar? If you actually just want to show you agree with another answer it's better to upvote their answer instead.
– motosubatsu
2 hours ago

add a comment | 

up vote
0
down vote

I would simply apologise anonymously. You could leave a note to explain that it was an honest mistake and that it won't happen again, which will give them the comfort of knowing that it wasn't out and out theft, but without invoking the complication of them knowing who it was - which they don't need to.

share|improve this answer

answered 7 hours ago

BenTaylor

171

New contributor

BenTaylor is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.

• 
  
  
  

  
  1
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  Put something delicious, a bit special, but not too expensive (a cupcake, some small cake, some wagashi, some cookies, whatever in your country is acceptable as a small eatable gift) where you found the food, write an small note "I am sorry, I thought it was leftovers. It won't happen again - hope you can accept this as a kind of replacement". I would sign it with my first name, but that depends on the social structure in your company/country. (cant post here yet, so adding it as a comment, hope you dont mind Ben, feel free to merge the text with your answer if you like)
  – user2567875
  4 hours ago
  
  

  
  
  
  

add a comment | 

up vote
0
down vote

I would simply apologise anonymously. You could leave a note to explain that it was an honest mistake and that it won't happen again, which will give them the comfort of knowing that it wasn't out and out theft, but without invoking the complication of them knowing who it was - which they don't need to.

share|improve this answer

answered 7 hours ago

BenTaylor

171

New contributor

BenTaylor is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.

• 
  
  
  

  
  1
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  Put something delicious, a bit special, but not too expensive (a cupcake, some small cake, some wagashi, some cookies, whatever in your country is acceptable as a small eatable gift) where you found the food, write an small note "I am sorry, I thought it was leftovers. It won't happen again - hope you can accept this as a kind of replacement". I would sign it with my first name, but that depends on the social structure in your company/country. (cant post here yet, so adding it as a comment, hope you dont mind Ben, feel free to merge the text with your answer if you like)
  – user2567875
  4 hours ago
  
  

  
  
  
  

add a comment | 

up vote
0
down vote

up vote
0
down vote

I would simply apologise anonymously. You could leave a note to explain that it was an honest mistake and that it won't happen again, which will give them the comfort of knowing that it wasn't out and out theft, but without invoking the complication of them knowing who it was - which they don't need to.

share|improve this answer

answered 7 hours ago

BenTaylor

171

New contributor

BenTaylor is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.

I would simply apologise anonymously. You could leave a note to explain that it was an honest mistake and that it won't happen again, which will give them the comfort of knowing that it wasn't out and out theft, but without invoking the complication of them knowing who it was - which they don't need to.

share|improve this answer

answered 7 hours ago

BenTaylor

171

New contributor

BenTaylor is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.

share|improve this answer

share|improve this answer

answered 7 hours ago

BenTaylor

171

New contributor

BenTaylor is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.

answered 7 hours ago

BenTaylor

171

answered 7 hours ago

BenTaylor

171

171

New contributor

BenTaylor is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.

New contributor

BenTaylor is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.

BenTaylor is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.

• 
  
  
  

  
  1
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  Put something delicious, a bit special, but not too expensive (a cupcake, some small cake, some wagashi, some cookies, whatever in your country is acceptable as a small eatable gift) where you found the food, write an small note "I am sorry, I thought it was leftovers. It won't happen again - hope you can accept this as a kind of replacement". I would sign it with my first name, but that depends on the social structure in your company/country. (cant post here yet, so adding it as a comment, hope you dont mind Ben, feel free to merge the text with your answer if you like)
  – user2567875
  4 hours ago
  
  

  
  
  
  

add a comment | 

• 
  
  
  

  
  1
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  Put something delicious, a bit special, but not too expensive (a cupcake, some small cake, some wagashi, some cookies, whatever in your country is acceptable as a small eatable gift) where you found the food, write an small note "I am sorry, I thought it was leftovers. It won't happen again - hope you can accept this as a kind of replacement". I would sign it with my first name, but that depends on the social structure in your company/country. (cant post here yet, so adding it as a comment, hope you dont mind Ben, feel free to merge the text with your answer if you like)
  – user2567875
  4 hours ago
  
  

  
  
  
  

1

1

Put something delicious, a bit special, but not too expensive (a cupcake, some small cake, some wagashi, some cookies, whatever in your country is acceptable as a small eatable gift) where you found the food, write an small note "I am sorry, I thought it was leftovers. It won't happen again - hope you can accept this as a kind of replacement". I would sign it with my first name, but that depends on the social structure in your company/country. (cant post here yet, so adding it as a comment, hope you dont mind Ben, feel free to merge the text with your answer if you like)
– user2567875
4 hours ago

Put something delicious, a bit special, but not too expensive (a cupcake, some small cake, some wagashi, some cookies, whatever in your country is acceptable as a small eatable gift) where you found the food, write an small note "I am sorry, I thought it was leftovers. It won't happen again - hope you can accept this as a kind of replacement". I would sign it with my first name, but that depends on the social structure in your company/country. (cant post here yet, so adding it as a comment, hope you dont mind Ben, feel free to merge the text with your answer if you like)
– user2567875
4 hours ago

add a comment | 

up vote
-2
down vote

It was just a lunch - a slight one-time annoyance. You may have been the straw that broke the camel's back regarding a problem which already existed at your workplace.

You should have apologized when there was an opportunity to do it under harmless conditions, before the situation received a certain level of escalation. It won't improve with you admitting a singular mistake. If anything, you'd become the first to be accused in the future and your reputation may receive an unfair taint - even though you could be the smallest perpetrator.

Deal with your consciousness without sabotaging yourself for immediate relief. Simply avoid doing that mistake again.

share|improve this answer

answered 11 hours ago

Battle

1756

• 
  
  
  

  
  2
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  Would this approach not harm you much more if someone later finds out that you (1) were the one who took the food and (2) lied or never came clean about it?
  – Therkel
  11 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  Yes it would. But given the scenario it seems likely that it won't ever come out. And if it would, the other perpetrators (assuming the situation wouldn't escalate like that due to only one single occurrence), who would have done it more often would be the ones to be found first (or solely). Generally it's unlikely there is any investigation, and even if, that it would succeed. If it would succeed, a confession would likely still be necessary. I'd estimate the risk to be minuscule to near non-existent.
  – Battle
  11 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  I see people downvoting this. Admit it - you claim to value truth, and virtue signal how you live by it - but most of you can't even handle the truth. You prefer the soft lies of decency and courtesy, accept lies without question. Nothing wrong about that - we don't need to fuel conflicts just for fun. But it's hypocritical to advise others to be truthful while most of you wouldn't dare to do yourself. Not only that - most of you would condemn, punish or resent the one telling the truth. It's a commodity no longer appreciated by the majority of society.
  – Battle
  3 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  

add a comment | 

up vote
-2
down vote

It was just a lunch - a slight one-time annoyance. You may have been the straw that broke the camel's back regarding a problem which already existed at your workplace.

You should have apologized when there was an opportunity to do it under harmless conditions, before the situation received a certain level of escalation. It won't improve with you admitting a singular mistake. If anything, you'd become the first to be accused in the future and your reputation may receive an unfair taint - even though you could be the smallest perpetrator.

Deal with your consciousness without sabotaging yourself for immediate relief. Simply avoid doing that mistake again.

share|improve this answer

answered 11 hours ago

Battle

1756

• 
  
  
  

  
  2
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  Would this approach not harm you much more if someone later finds out that you (1) were the one who took the food and (2) lied or never came clean about it?
  – Therkel
  11 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  Yes it would. But given the scenario it seems likely that it won't ever come out. And if it would, the other perpetrators (assuming the situation wouldn't escalate like that due to only one single occurrence), who would have done it more often would be the ones to be found first (or solely). Generally it's unlikely there is any investigation, and even if, that it would succeed. If it would succeed, a confession would likely still be necessary. I'd estimate the risk to be minuscule to near non-existent.
  – Battle
  11 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  I see people downvoting this. Admit it - you claim to value truth, and virtue signal how you live by it - but most of you can't even handle the truth. You prefer the soft lies of decency and courtesy, accept lies without question. Nothing wrong about that - we don't need to fuel conflicts just for fun. But it's hypocritical to advise others to be truthful while most of you wouldn't dare to do yourself. Not only that - most of you would condemn, punish or resent the one telling the truth. It's a commodity no longer appreciated by the majority of society.
  – Battle
  3 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  

add a comment | 

up vote
-2
down vote

up vote
-2
down vote

It was just a lunch - a slight one-time annoyance. You may have been the straw that broke the camel's back regarding a problem which already existed at your workplace.

You should have apologized when there was an opportunity to do it under harmless conditions, before the situation received a certain level of escalation. It won't improve with you admitting a singular mistake. If anything, you'd become the first to be accused in the future and your reputation may receive an unfair taint - even though you could be the smallest perpetrator.

Deal with your consciousness without sabotaging yourself for immediate relief. Simply avoid doing that mistake again.

share|improve this answer

answered 11 hours ago

Battle

1756

It was just a lunch - a slight one-time annoyance. You may have been the straw that broke the camel's back regarding a problem which already existed at your workplace.

You should have apologized when there was an opportunity to do it under harmless conditions, before the situation received a certain level of escalation. It won't improve with you admitting a singular mistake. If anything, you'd become the first to be accused in the future and your reputation may receive an unfair taint - even though you could be the smallest perpetrator.

Deal with your consciousness without sabotaging yourself for immediate relief. Simply avoid doing that mistake again.

share|improve this answer

answered 11 hours ago

Battle

1756

share|improve this answer

share|improve this answer

answered 11 hours ago

Battle

1756

answered 11 hours ago

Battle

1756

answered 11 hours ago

Battle

1756

1756

• 
  
  
  

  
  2
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  Would this approach not harm you much more if someone later finds out that you (1) were the one who took the food and (2) lied or never came clean about it?
  – Therkel
  11 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  Yes it would. But given the scenario it seems likely that it won't ever come out. And if it would, the other perpetrators (assuming the situation wouldn't escalate like that due to only one single occurrence), who would have done it more often would be the ones to be found first (or solely). Generally it's unlikely there is any investigation, and even if, that it would succeed. If it would succeed, a confession would likely still be necessary. I'd estimate the risk to be minuscule to near non-existent.
  – Battle
  11 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  I see people downvoting this. Admit it - you claim to value truth, and virtue signal how you live by it - but most of you can't even handle the truth. You prefer the soft lies of decency and courtesy, accept lies without question. Nothing wrong about that - we don't need to fuel conflicts just for fun. But it's hypocritical to advise others to be truthful while most of you wouldn't dare to do yourself. Not only that - most of you would condemn, punish or resent the one telling the truth. It's a commodity no longer appreciated by the majority of society.
  – Battle
  3 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  

add a comment | 

• 
  
  
  

  
  2
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  Would this approach not harm you much more if someone later finds out that you (1) were the one who took the food and (2) lied or never came clean about it?
  – Therkel
  11 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  Yes it would. But given the scenario it seems likely that it won't ever come out. And if it would, the other perpetrators (assuming the situation wouldn't escalate like that due to only one single occurrence), who would have done it more often would be the ones to be found first (or solely). Generally it's unlikely there is any investigation, and even if, that it would succeed. If it would succeed, a confession would likely still be necessary. I'd estimate the risk to be minuscule to near non-existent.
  – Battle
  11 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  I see people downvoting this. Admit it - you claim to value truth, and virtue signal how you live by it - but most of you can't even handle the truth. You prefer the soft lies of decency and courtesy, accept lies without question. Nothing wrong about that - we don't need to fuel conflicts just for fun. But it's hypocritical to advise others to be truthful while most of you wouldn't dare to do yourself. Not only that - most of you would condemn, punish or resent the one telling the truth. It's a commodity no longer appreciated by the majority of society.
  – Battle
  3 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  

2

2

Would this approach not harm you much more if someone later finds out that you (1) were the one who took the food and (2) lied or never came clean about it?
– Therkel
11 hours ago

Would this approach not harm you much more if someone later finds out that you (1) were the one who took the food and (2) lied or never came clean about it?
– Therkel
11 hours ago

Yes it would. But given the scenario it seems likely that it won't ever come out. And if it would, the other perpetrators (assuming the situation wouldn't escalate like that due to only one single occurrence), who would have done it more often would be the ones to be found first (or solely). Generally it's unlikely there is any investigation, and even if, that it would succeed. If it would succeed, a confession would likely still be necessary. I'd estimate the risk to be minuscule to near non-existent.
– Battle
11 hours ago

Yes it would. But given the scenario it seems likely that it won't ever come out. And if it would, the other perpetrators (assuming the situation wouldn't escalate like that due to only one single occurrence), who would have done it more often would be the ones to be found first (or solely). Generally it's unlikely there is any investigation, and even if, that it would succeed. If it would succeed, a confession would likely still be necessary. I'd estimate the risk to be minuscule to near non-existent.
– Battle
11 hours ago

I see people downvoting this. Admit it - you claim to value truth, and virtue signal how you live by it - but most of you can't even handle the truth. You prefer the soft lies of decency and courtesy, accept lies without question. Nothing wrong about that - we don't need to fuel conflicts just for fun. But it's hypocritical to advise others to be truthful while most of you wouldn't dare to do yourself. Not only that - most of you would condemn, punish or resent the one telling the truth. It's a commodity no longer appreciated by the majority of society.
– Battle
3 hours ago

I see people downvoting this. Admit it - you claim to value truth, and virtue signal how you live by it - but most of you can't even handle the truth. You prefer the soft lies of decency and courtesy, accept lies without question. Nothing wrong about that - we don't need to fuel conflicts just for fun. But it's hypocritical to advise others to be truthful while most of you wouldn't dare to do yourself. Not only that - most of you would condemn, punish or resent the one telling the truth. It's a commodity no longer appreciated by the majority of society.
– Battle
3 hours ago

add a comment | 

protected by Community♦ 4 hours ago

Thank you for your interest in this question.
Because it has attracted low-quality or spam answers that had to be removed, posting an answer now requires 10 reputation on this site (the association bonus does not count).



Would you like to answer one of these unanswered questions instead?