Mixing
Will cancelling on my company's many social events negatively influence my career?
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I've been working for this company for 6 months now. When they said they valued get-togethers and game nights, I expected the occasional Friday afternoon gathering or a game night every now and then. Not the multiple times a week gatherings they are having in reality...
Every week there will be at least 1, usually 2-3 events that take place outside of working hours. I work on a different location on a project with 3 coworkers. Invites will be sent out through email, you have to accept/decline and people will email/bug you if you ignore it. If you decline, you will also get an email or possibly even a phone call to tell you how sad it is you're not joining, trying to dig up what your reason is in hopes they can counter it.
Aside from the fact that I'm an introvert, I have no desire at all to spend 2 evenings a week with my coworkers, every week. I have enough personal things to fill my week, and frankly I don't want to spend that one night a week I can just stay home with my coworkers, so I cancel most of the time. I've decided I will do at least 1 event a month and even that is somewhat of a burden to me.
I'm scared this will negatively influence my position in the company, however. I love my work here, I like my coworkers (during working hours...) and I have an indefinite contract, so I won't be fired any time soon. But I am scared this will negatively influence a promotion or otherwise affect me.
Should I attend all/most gatherings or will skipping most likely not influence anything?
work-environment work-life-balance socializing
edited 5 mins ago
TylerH
1036
asked 1 hour ago
Summer
2,56651529
 |Â
show 1 more comment
up vote
5
down vote
favorite
I've been working for this company for 6 months now. When they said they valued get-togethers and game nights, I expected the occasional Friday afternoon gathering or a game night every now and then. Not the multiple times a week gatherings they are having in reality...
Every week there will be at least 1, usually 2-3 events that take place outside of working hours. I work on a different location on a project with 3 coworkers. Invites will be sent out through email, you have to accept/decline and people will email/bug you if you ignore it. If you decline, you will also get an email or possibly even a phone call to tell you how sad it is you're not joining, trying to dig up what your reason is in hopes they can counter it.
Aside from the fact that I'm an introvert, I have no desire at all to spend 2 evenings a week with my coworkers, every week. I have enough personal things to fill my week, and frankly I don't want to spend that one night a week I can just stay home with my coworkers, so I cancel most of the time. I've decided I will do at least 1 event a month and even that is somewhat of a burden to me.
I'm scared this will negatively influence my position in the company, however. I love my work here, I like my coworkers (during working hours...) and I have an indefinite contract, so I won't be fired any time soon. But I am scared this will negatively influence a promotion or otherwise affect me.
Should I attend all/most gatherings or will skipping most likely not influence anything?
work-environment work-life-balance socializing
edited 5 mins ago
TylerH
1036
asked 1 hour ago
Summer
2,56651529
5
2-3 a week is excessive. For them to push for a reason is rude.
– paparazzo
1 hour ago
@paparazzo I agree, I've never seen a company with such a strong will for social gatherings...
– Summer
1 hour ago
"I have no desire at all to spend 2 evenings a week with my coworkers, every week" - then don't.
– Joe Strazzere
1 hour ago
Which country is this in? In the UK "Why would I want to?" would be an adequate sarcastic response, possibly followed by "I have a family", finishing off with "If I do come I can guarantee you won't invite me again".
– Darren Bartrup-Cook
15 mins ago
@DarrenBartrup-Cook The Netherlands
– Summer
12 mins ago
 |Â
show 1 more comment
up vote
5
down vote
favorite
up vote
5
down vote
favorite
I've been working for this company for 6 months now. When they said they valued get-togethers and game nights, I expected the occasional Friday afternoon gathering or a game night every now and then. Not the multiple times a week gatherings they are having in reality...
Every week there will be at least 1, usually 2-3 events that take place outside of working hours. I work on a different location on a project with 3 coworkers. Invites will be sent out through email, you have to accept/decline and people will email/bug you if you ignore it. If you decline, you will also get an email or possibly even a phone call to tell you how sad it is you're not joining, trying to dig up what your reason is in hopes they can counter it.
Aside from the fact that I'm an introvert, I have no desire at all to spend 2 evenings a week with my coworkers, every week. I have enough personal things to fill my week, and frankly I don't want to spend that one night a week I can just stay home with my coworkers, so I cancel most of the time. I've decided I will do at least 1 event a month and even that is somewhat of a burden to me.
I'm scared this will negatively influence my position in the company, however. I love my work here, I like my coworkers (during working hours...) and I have an indefinite contract, so I won't be fired any time soon. But I am scared this will negatively influence a promotion or otherwise affect me.
Should I attend all/most gatherings or will skipping most likely not influence anything?
work-environment work-life-balance socializing
edited 5 mins ago
TylerH
1036
asked 1 hour ago
Summer
2,56651529
I've been working for this company for 6 months now. When they said they valued get-togethers and game nights, I expected the occasional Friday afternoon gathering or a game night every now and then. Not the multiple times a week gatherings they are having in reality...
Every week there will be at least 1, usually 2-3 events that take place outside of working hours. I work on a different location on a project with 3 coworkers. Invites will be sent out through email, you have to accept/decline and people will email/bug you if you ignore it. If you decline, you will also get an email or possibly even a phone call to tell you how sad it is you're not joining, trying to dig up what your reason is in hopes they can counter it.
Aside from the fact that I'm an introvert, I have no desire at all to spend 2 evenings a week with my coworkers, every week. I have enough personal things to fill my week, and frankly I don't want to spend that one night a week I can just stay home with my coworkers, so I cancel most of the time. I've decided I will do at least 1 event a month and even that is somewhat of a burden to me.
I'm scared this will negatively influence my position in the company, however. I love my work here, I like my coworkers (during working hours...) and I have an indefinite contract, so I won't be fired any time soon. But I am scared this will negatively influence a promotion or otherwise affect me.
Should I attend all/most gatherings or will skipping most likely not influence anything?
work-environment work-life-balance socializing
work-environment work-life-balance socializing
edited 5 mins ago
TylerH
1036
asked 1 hour ago
Summer
2,56651529
edited 5 mins ago
TylerH
1036
asked 1 hour ago
Summer
2,56651529
edited 5 mins ago
TylerH
1036
edited 5 mins ago
TylerH
1036
edited 5 mins ago
TylerH
1036
1036
asked 1 hour ago
Summer
2,56651529
asked 1 hour ago
Summer
2,56651529
asked 1 hour ago
Summer
2,56651529
2,56651529
5
2-3 a week is excessive. For them to push for a reason is rude.
– paparazzo
1 hour ago
@paparazzo I agree, I've never seen a company with such a strong will for social gatherings...
– Summer
1 hour ago
"I have no desire at all to spend 2 evenings a week with my coworkers, every week" - then don't.
– Joe Strazzere
1 hour ago
Which country is this in? In the UK "Why would I want to?" would be an adequate sarcastic response, possibly followed by "I have a family", finishing off with "If I do come I can guarantee you won't invite me again".
– Darren Bartrup-Cook
15 mins ago
@DarrenBartrup-Cook The Netherlands
– Summer
12 mins ago
 |Â
show 1 more comment
5
2-3 a week is excessive. For them to push for a reason is rude.
– paparazzo
1 hour ago
@paparazzo I agree, I've never seen a company with such a strong will for social gatherings...
– Summer
1 hour ago
"I have no desire at all to spend 2 evenings a week with my coworkers, every week" - then don't.
– Joe Strazzere
1 hour ago
Which country is this in? In the UK "Why would I want to?" would be an adequate sarcastic response, possibly followed by "I have a family", finishing off with "If I do come I can guarantee you won't invite me again".
– Darren Bartrup-Cook
15 mins ago
@DarrenBartrup-Cook The Netherlands
– Summer
12 mins ago
5
5
2-3 a week is excessive. For them to push for a reason is rude.
– paparazzo
1 hour ago
2-3 a week is excessive. For them to push for a reason is rude.
– paparazzo
1 hour ago
@paparazzo I agree, I've never seen a company with such a strong will for social gatherings...
– Summer
1 hour ago
@paparazzo I agree, I've never seen a company with such a strong will for social gatherings...
– Summer
1 hour ago
"I have no desire at all to spend 2 evenings a week with my coworkers, every week" - then don't.
– Joe Strazzere
1 hour ago
"I have no desire at all to spend 2 evenings a week with my coworkers, every week" - then don't.
– Joe Strazzere
1 hour ago
Which country is this in? In the UK "Why would I want to?" would be an adequate sarcastic response, possibly followed by "I have a family", finishing off with "If I do come I can guarantee you won't invite me again".
– Darren Bartrup-Cook
15 mins ago
Which country is this in? In the UK "Why would I want to?" would be an adequate sarcastic response, possibly followed by "I have a family", finishing off with "If I do come I can guarantee you won't invite me again".
– Darren Bartrup-Cook
15 mins ago
@DarrenBartrup-Cook The Netherlands
– Summer
12 mins ago
@DarrenBartrup-Cook The Netherlands
– Summer
12 mins ago
 |Â
show 1 more comment
4 Answers
4
active
oldest
votes
up vote
13
down vote
When they said they valued get-togethers and game nights I expected the occasional friday afternoon gathering or a game night every now and then.
Did you actually told them this?
If you decline, you will also get an email or possibly even a phonecall to tell you how sad it is you're not joining, trying to dig up what your reason is in hopes they can counter it.
Why not during this time say what you thought above? "I'm sorry Bob, when I first started I knew you value these social gatherings, but I did not know it would occur multiple times a week. I simply cannot attend these social gatherings so many times during a week. I can only do once a month."
See what they say. If you say nothing, and simply reject every single social gatherings, then yes, that could negatively impact you because as you said, they value these sort of gatherings.
answered 1 hour ago
Dan
4,4211821
add a comment |Â
up vote
1
down vote
Sadly if that is their values not attending will negatively influence a promotion.
What is disappointing is they follow up if you decline. You should be able to just decline. This is your time.
Problem you have here is say you attend 2 / month that may not be good enough. Appears they want 100%.
I say just go 1 / month and if looks like that is going to limit your career then look for another job. 2-3 a week if that is not comfortable to you is just not worth it.
My first job out of college there was an employee club that was dirt cheap. They held 4 nice events a year and almost everyone attended but no one was forced to attend.
answered 1 hour ago
paparazzo
33.8k657107
add a comment |Â
up vote
1
down vote
This is just my humble opinion about this, but if canceling these kind of events is going to have a negative influence on your career, I'd consider to search for a new company to work for.
Being "socially active" within the company is not the reason why they hired you. It is something reserved at your sole discretion. You don't have to attend to that events if you don't want to.
If things get worse, you can always say, in a polite way, that attend to social events is not stated on your contract.
answered 1 hour ago
dev
546
you're not really answering the question OP asked here, you're just stating they should leave?
– bharal
1 hour ago
add a comment |Â
up vote
-4
down vote
Yes, it will. It 100% will.
You won't have a social network in the company, you won't hear the company gossip, you won't, effectively, be "part of the tribe in the company".
If you want to go into management then you'll really struggle, because management is a more social role than any other (excluding sales).
You'll also make your day-day work harder, as lacking that social network in the company it will be harder for you to reach out to co-workers outside your immediate department for help or advice.
If the company is as social as you say, then should layoffs become necessary, then the person who fits in least will be a viable candidate (along with low-performing people).
Being an introvert isn't a reason to not socialise, by the way. It's just an excuse. I'm not even sure if "introvert" is a real thing, or just a lifestyle preference, much like people who don't like exercising, or people who are very competitive. But that's neither here nor there.
(If you read this and think "introvert" is real and a major blocker - then just replace it with the dictionary definition of "shy" and see how the OP reads. It's not a reason to not socialise. It just means you're not, say, shaking everyone's hand and being the center of attention)
View the socialising as part of your job - once a week is a much better target than "once a month", and get to know your team mates. It will help tremendously with career growth - much, much more than being a star performer.
answered 1 hour ago
bharal
12k22556
1
I agree that it will affect negatively. Obviously it's a big deal to them and the OP will be looked at as a bad fit.
– Kilisi
1 hour ago
2
Introverted and shy are two very, very different things. I should also have probably clarified that I work project based, so I work with only 3 of 100 people daily, the rest I never see during work hours.
– Summer
38 mins ago
2
Introversion/Extroversion are much older than the Myers-Briggs test. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extraversion_and_introversion An introvert is someone who requires energy to be social, and gains energy from being alone. An extrovert is someone who gains energy from being social, and requires energy to be alone. They are quite well known types, even if popular culture tends to get them wrong.
– Erik
34 mins ago
2
Which is why introverts can socialize, but not as much as extroverts, and need time to be alone. Same reason you can lock an extrovert in a room on their own for a week, but they won't enjoy it.
– Erik
34 mins ago
2
@bharal clearly, you are not an introvert, so it's a little assuming to think you can claim what an introvert can or cannot do in terms of social energy.
– Erik
26 mins ago
 |Â
show 13 more comments
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4 Answers
4
active
oldest
votes
4 Answers
4
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
up vote
13
down vote
When they said they valued get-togethers and game nights I expected the occasional friday afternoon gathering or a game night every now and then.
Did you actually told them this?
If you decline, you will also get an email or possibly even a phonecall to tell you how sad it is you're not joining, trying to dig up what your reason is in hopes they can counter it.
Why not during this time say what you thought above? "I'm sorry Bob, when I first started I knew you value these social gatherings, but I did not know it would occur multiple times a week. I simply cannot attend these social gatherings so many times during a week. I can only do once a month."
See what they say. If you say nothing, and simply reject every single social gatherings, then yes, that could negatively impact you because as you said, they value these sort of gatherings.
answered 1 hour ago
Dan
4,4211821
add a comment |Â
up vote
13
down vote
When they said they valued get-togethers and game nights I expected the occasional friday afternoon gathering or a game night every now and then.
Did you actually told them this?
If you decline, you will also get an email or possibly even a phonecall to tell you how sad it is you're not joining, trying to dig up what your reason is in hopes they can counter it.
Why not during this time say what you thought above? "I'm sorry Bob, when I first started I knew you value these social gatherings, but I did not know it would occur multiple times a week. I simply cannot attend these social gatherings so many times during a week. I can only do once a month."
See what they say. If you say nothing, and simply reject every single social gatherings, then yes, that could negatively impact you because as you said, they value these sort of gatherings.
answered 1 hour ago
Dan
4,4211821
add a comment |Â
up vote
13
down vote
up vote
13
down vote
When they said they valued get-togethers and game nights I expected the occasional friday afternoon gathering or a game night every now and then.
Did you actually told them this?
If you decline, you will also get an email or possibly even a phonecall to tell you how sad it is you're not joining, trying to dig up what your reason is in hopes they can counter it.
Why not during this time say what you thought above? "I'm sorry Bob, when I first started I knew you value these social gatherings, but I did not know it would occur multiple times a week. I simply cannot attend these social gatherings so many times during a week. I can only do once a month."
See what they say. If you say nothing, and simply reject every single social gatherings, then yes, that could negatively impact you because as you said, they value these sort of gatherings.
answered 1 hour ago
Dan
4,4211821
When they said they valued get-togethers and game nights I expected the occasional friday afternoon gathering or a game night every now and then.
Did you actually told them this?
If you decline, you will also get an email or possibly even a phonecall to tell you how sad it is you're not joining, trying to dig up what your reason is in hopes they can counter it.
Why not during this time say what you thought above? "I'm sorry Bob, when I first started I knew you value these social gatherings, but I did not know it would occur multiple times a week. I simply cannot attend these social gatherings so many times during a week. I can only do once a month."
See what they say. If you say nothing, and simply reject every single social gatherings, then yes, that could negatively impact you because as you said, they value these sort of gatherings.
answered 1 hour ago
Dan
4,4211821
answered 1 hour ago
Dan
4,4211821
answered 1 hour ago
Dan
4,4211821
answered 1 hour ago
Dan
4,4211821
4,4211821
add a comment |Â
add a comment |Â
up vote
1
down vote
Sadly if that is their values not attending will negatively influence a promotion.
What is disappointing is they follow up if you decline. You should be able to just decline. This is your time.
Problem you have here is say you attend 2 / month that may not be good enough. Appears they want 100%.
I say just go 1 / month and if looks like that is going to limit your career then look for another job. 2-3 a week if that is not comfortable to you is just not worth it.
My first job out of college there was an employee club that was dirt cheap. They held 4 nice events a year and almost everyone attended but no one was forced to attend.
answered 1 hour ago
paparazzo
33.8k657107
add a comment |Â
up vote
1
down vote
Sadly if that is their values not attending will negatively influence a promotion.
What is disappointing is they follow up if you decline. You should be able to just decline. This is your time.
Problem you have here is say you attend 2 / month that may not be good enough. Appears they want 100%.
I say just go 1 / month and if looks like that is going to limit your career then look for another job. 2-3 a week if that is not comfortable to you is just not worth it.
My first job out of college there was an employee club that was dirt cheap. They held 4 nice events a year and almost everyone attended but no one was forced to attend.
answered 1 hour ago
paparazzo
33.8k657107
add a comment |Â
up vote
1
down vote
up vote
1
down vote
Sadly if that is their values not attending will negatively influence a promotion.
What is disappointing is they follow up if you decline. You should be able to just decline. This is your time.
Problem you have here is say you attend 2 / month that may not be good enough. Appears they want 100%.
I say just go 1 / month and if looks like that is going to limit your career then look for another job. 2-3 a week if that is not comfortable to you is just not worth it.
My first job out of college there was an employee club that was dirt cheap. They held 4 nice events a year and almost everyone attended but no one was forced to attend.
answered 1 hour ago
paparazzo
33.8k657107
Sadly if that is their values not attending will negatively influence a promotion.
What is disappointing is they follow up if you decline. You should be able to just decline. This is your time.
Problem you have here is say you attend 2 / month that may not be good enough. Appears they want 100%.
I say just go 1 / month and if looks like that is going to limit your career then look for another job. 2-3 a week if that is not comfortable to you is just not worth it.
My first job out of college there was an employee club that was dirt cheap. They held 4 nice events a year and almost everyone attended but no one was forced to attend.
answered 1 hour ago
paparazzo
33.8k657107
answered 1 hour ago
paparazzo
33.8k657107
answered 1 hour ago
paparazzo
33.8k657107
answered 1 hour ago
paparazzo
33.8k657107
33.8k657107
add a comment |Â
add a comment |Â
up vote
1
down vote
This is just my humble opinion about this, but if canceling these kind of events is going to have a negative influence on your career, I'd consider to search for a new company to work for.
Being "socially active" within the company is not the reason why they hired you. It is something reserved at your sole discretion. You don't have to attend to that events if you don't want to.
If things get worse, you can always say, in a polite way, that attend to social events is not stated on your contract.
answered 1 hour ago
dev
546
you're not really answering the question OP asked here, you're just stating they should leave?
– bharal
1 hour ago
add a comment |Â
up vote
1
down vote
This is just my humble opinion about this, but if canceling these kind of events is going to have a negative influence on your career, I'd consider to search for a new company to work for.
Being "socially active" within the company is not the reason why they hired you. It is something reserved at your sole discretion. You don't have to attend to that events if you don't want to.
If things get worse, you can always say, in a polite way, that attend to social events is not stated on your contract.
answered 1 hour ago
dev
546
you're not really answering the question OP asked here, you're just stating they should leave?
– bharal
1 hour ago
add a comment |Â
up vote
1
down vote
up vote
1
down vote
This is just my humble opinion about this, but if canceling these kind of events is going to have a negative influence on your career, I'd consider to search for a new company to work for.
Being "socially active" within the company is not the reason why they hired you. It is something reserved at your sole discretion. You don't have to attend to that events if you don't want to.
If things get worse, you can always say, in a polite way, that attend to social events is not stated on your contract.
answered 1 hour ago
dev
546
This is just my humble opinion about this, but if canceling these kind of events is going to have a negative influence on your career, I'd consider to search for a new company to work for.
Being "socially active" within the company is not the reason why they hired you. It is something reserved at your sole discretion. You don't have to attend to that events if you don't want to.
If things get worse, you can always say, in a polite way, that attend to social events is not stated on your contract.
answered 1 hour ago
dev
546
answered 1 hour ago
dev
546
answered 1 hour ago
dev
546
answered 1 hour ago
dev
546
546
you're not really answering the question OP asked here, you're just stating they should leave?
– bharal
1 hour ago
add a comment |Â
you're not really answering the question OP asked here, you're just stating they should leave?
– bharal
1 hour ago
you're not really answering the question OP asked here, you're just stating they should leave?
– bharal
1 hour ago
you're not really answering the question OP asked here, you're just stating they should leave?
– bharal
1 hour ago
add a comment |Â
up vote
-4
down vote
Yes, it will. It 100% will.
You won't have a social network in the company, you won't hear the company gossip, you won't, effectively, be "part of the tribe in the company".
If you want to go into management then you'll really struggle, because management is a more social role than any other (excluding sales).
You'll also make your day-day work harder, as lacking that social network in the company it will be harder for you to reach out to co-workers outside your immediate department for help or advice.
If the company is as social as you say, then should layoffs become necessary, then the person who fits in least will be a viable candidate (along with low-performing people).
Being an introvert isn't a reason to not socialise, by the way. It's just an excuse. I'm not even sure if "introvert" is a real thing, or just a lifestyle preference, much like people who don't like exercising, or people who are very competitive. But that's neither here nor there.
(If you read this and think "introvert" is real and a major blocker - then just replace it with the dictionary definition of "shy" and see how the OP reads. It's not a reason to not socialise. It just means you're not, say, shaking everyone's hand and being the center of attention)
View the socialising as part of your job - once a week is a much better target than "once a month", and get to know your team mates. It will help tremendously with career growth - much, much more than being a star performer.
answered 1 hour ago
bharal
12k22556
1
I agree that it will affect negatively. Obviously it's a big deal to them and the OP will be looked at as a bad fit.
– Kilisi
1 hour ago
2
Introverted and shy are two very, very different things. I should also have probably clarified that I work project based, so I work with only 3 of 100 people daily, the rest I never see during work hours.
– Summer
38 mins ago
2
Introversion/Extroversion are much older than the Myers-Briggs test. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extraversion_and_introversion An introvert is someone who requires energy to be social, and gains energy from being alone. An extrovert is someone who gains energy from being social, and requires energy to be alone. They are quite well known types, even if popular culture tends to get them wrong.
– Erik
34 mins ago
2
Which is why introverts can socialize, but not as much as extroverts, and need time to be alone. Same reason you can lock an extrovert in a room on their own for a week, but they won't enjoy it.
– Erik
34 mins ago
2
@bharal clearly, you are not an introvert, so it's a little assuming to think you can claim what an introvert can or cannot do in terms of social energy.
– Erik
26 mins ago
 |Â
show 13 more comments
up vote
-4
down vote
Yes, it will. It 100% will.
You won't have a social network in the company, you won't hear the company gossip, you won't, effectively, be "part of the tribe in the company".
If you want to go into management then you'll really struggle, because management is a more social role than any other (excluding sales).
You'll also make your day-day work harder, as lacking that social network in the company it will be harder for you to reach out to co-workers outside your immediate department for help or advice.
If the company is as social as you say, then should layoffs become necessary, then the person who fits in least will be a viable candidate (along with low-performing people).
Being an introvert isn't a reason to not socialise, by the way. It's just an excuse. I'm not even sure if "introvert" is a real thing, or just a lifestyle preference, much like people who don't like exercising, or people who are very competitive. But that's neither here nor there.
(If you read this and think "introvert" is real and a major blocker - then just replace it with the dictionary definition of "shy" and see how the OP reads. It's not a reason to not socialise. It just means you're not, say, shaking everyone's hand and being the center of attention)
View the socialising as part of your job - once a week is a much better target than "once a month", and get to know your team mates. It will help tremendously with career growth - much, much more than being a star performer.
answered 1 hour ago
bharal
12k22556
1
I agree that it will affect negatively. Obviously it's a big deal to them and the OP will be looked at as a bad fit.
– Kilisi
1 hour ago
2
Introverted and shy are two very, very different things. I should also have probably clarified that I work project based, so I work with only 3 of 100 people daily, the rest I never see during work hours.
– Summer
38 mins ago
2
Introversion/Extroversion are much older than the Myers-Briggs test. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extraversion_and_introversion An introvert is someone who requires energy to be social, and gains energy from being alone. An extrovert is someone who gains energy from being social, and requires energy to be alone. They are quite well known types, even if popular culture tends to get them wrong.
– Erik
34 mins ago
2
Which is why introverts can socialize, but not as much as extroverts, and need time to be alone. Same reason you can lock an extrovert in a room on their own for a week, but they won't enjoy it.
– Erik
34 mins ago
2
@bharal clearly, you are not an introvert, so it's a little assuming to think you can claim what an introvert can or cannot do in terms of social energy.
– Erik
26 mins ago
 |Â
show 13 more comments
up vote
-4
down vote
up vote
-4
down vote
Yes, it will. It 100% will.
You won't have a social network in the company, you won't hear the company gossip, you won't, effectively, be "part of the tribe in the company".
If you want to go into management then you'll really struggle, because management is a more social role than any other (excluding sales).
You'll also make your day-day work harder, as lacking that social network in the company it will be harder for you to reach out to co-workers outside your immediate department for help or advice.
If the company is as social as you say, then should layoffs become necessary, then the person who fits in least will be a viable candidate (along with low-performing people).
Being an introvert isn't a reason to not socialise, by the way. It's just an excuse. I'm not even sure if "introvert" is a real thing, or just a lifestyle preference, much like people who don't like exercising, or people who are very competitive. But that's neither here nor there.
(If you read this and think "introvert" is real and a major blocker - then just replace it with the dictionary definition of "shy" and see how the OP reads. It's not a reason to not socialise. It just means you're not, say, shaking everyone's hand and being the center of attention)
View the socialising as part of your job - once a week is a much better target than "once a month", and get to know your team mates. It will help tremendously with career growth - much, much more than being a star performer.
answered 1 hour ago
bharal
12k22556
Yes, it will. It 100% will.
You won't have a social network in the company, you won't hear the company gossip, you won't, effectively, be "part of the tribe in the company".
If you want to go into management then you'll really struggle, because management is a more social role than any other (excluding sales).
You'll also make your day-day work harder, as lacking that social network in the company it will be harder for you to reach out to co-workers outside your immediate department for help or advice.
If the company is as social as you say, then should layoffs become necessary, then the person who fits in least will be a viable candidate (along with low-performing people).
Being an introvert isn't a reason to not socialise, by the way. It's just an excuse. I'm not even sure if "introvert" is a real thing, or just a lifestyle preference, much like people who don't like exercising, or people who are very competitive. But that's neither here nor there.
(If you read this and think "introvert" is real and a major blocker - then just replace it with the dictionary definition of "shy" and see how the OP reads. It's not a reason to not socialise. It just means you're not, say, shaking everyone's hand and being the center of attention)
View the socialising as part of your job - once a week is a much better target than "once a month", and get to know your team mates. It will help tremendously with career growth - much, much more than being a star performer.
answered 1 hour ago
bharal
12k22556
edited 38 mins ago
answered 1 hour ago
bharal
12k22556
answered 1 hour ago
bharal
12k22556
answered 1 hour ago
bharal
12k22556
12k22556
1
I agree that it will affect negatively. Obviously it's a big deal to them and the OP will be looked at as a bad fit.
– Kilisi
1 hour ago
2
Introverted and shy are two very, very different things. I should also have probably clarified that I work project based, so I work with only 3 of 100 people daily, the rest I never see during work hours.
– Summer
38 mins ago
2
Introversion/Extroversion are much older than the Myers-Briggs test. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extraversion_and_introversion An introvert is someone who requires energy to be social, and gains energy from being alone. An extrovert is someone who gains energy from being social, and requires energy to be alone. They are quite well known types, even if popular culture tends to get them wrong.
– Erik
34 mins ago
2
Which is why introverts can socialize, but not as much as extroverts, and need time to be alone. Same reason you can lock an extrovert in a room on their own for a week, but they won't enjoy it.
– Erik
34 mins ago
2
@bharal clearly, you are not an introvert, so it's a little assuming to think you can claim what an introvert can or cannot do in terms of social energy.
– Erik
26 mins ago
 |Â
show 13 more comments
1
I agree that it will affect negatively. Obviously it's a big deal to them and the OP will be looked at as a bad fit.
– Kilisi
1 hour ago
2
Introverted and shy are two very, very different things. I should also have probably clarified that I work project based, so I work with only 3 of 100 people daily, the rest I never see during work hours.
– Summer
38 mins ago
2
Introversion/Extroversion are much older than the Myers-Briggs test. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extraversion_and_introversion An introvert is someone who requires energy to be social, and gains energy from being alone. An extrovert is someone who gains energy from being social, and requires energy to be alone. They are quite well known types, even if popular culture tends to get them wrong.
– Erik
34 mins ago
2
Which is why introverts can socialize, but not as much as extroverts, and need time to be alone. Same reason you can lock an extrovert in a room on their own for a week, but they won't enjoy it.
– Erik
34 mins ago
2
@bharal clearly, you are not an introvert, so it's a little assuming to think you can claim what an introvert can or cannot do in terms of social energy.
– Erik
26 mins ago
1
1
I agree that it will affect negatively. Obviously it's a big deal to them and the OP will be looked at as a bad fit.
– Kilisi
1 hour ago
I agree that it will affect negatively. Obviously it's a big deal to them and the OP will be looked at as a bad fit.
– Kilisi
1 hour ago
2
2
Introverted and shy are two very, very different things. I should also have probably clarified that I work project based, so I work with only 3 of 100 people daily, the rest I never see during work hours.
– Summer
38 mins ago
Introverted and shy are two very, very different things. I should also have probably clarified that I work project based, so I work with only 3 of 100 people daily, the rest I never see during work hours.
– Summer
38 mins ago
2
2
Introversion/Extroversion are much older than the Myers-Briggs test. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extraversion_and_introversion An introvert is someone who requires energy to be social, and gains energy from being alone. An extrovert is someone who gains energy from being social, and requires energy to be alone. They are quite well known types, even if popular culture tends to get them wrong.
– Erik
34 mins ago
Introversion/Extroversion are much older than the Myers-Briggs test. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extraversion_and_introversion An introvert is someone who requires energy to be social, and gains energy from being alone. An extrovert is someone who gains energy from being social, and requires energy to be alone. They are quite well known types, even if popular culture tends to get them wrong.
– Erik
34 mins ago
2
2
Which is why introverts can socialize, but not as much as extroverts, and need time to be alone. Same reason you can lock an extrovert in a room on their own for a week, but they won't enjoy it.
– Erik
34 mins ago
Which is why introverts can socialize, but not as much as extroverts, and need time to be alone. Same reason you can lock an extrovert in a room on their own for a week, but they won't enjoy it.
– Erik
34 mins ago
2
2
@bharal clearly, you are not an introvert, so it's a little assuming to think you can claim what an introvert can or cannot do in terms of social energy.
– Erik
26 mins ago
@bharal clearly, you are not an introvert, so it's a little assuming to think you can claim what an introvert can or cannot do in terms of social energy.
– Erik
26 mins ago
 |Â
show 13 more comments
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5
2-3 a week is excessive. For them to push for a reason is rude.
– paparazzo
1 hour ago
@paparazzo I agree, I've never seen a company with such a strong will for social gatherings...
– Summer
1 hour ago
"I have no desire at all to spend 2 evenings a week with my coworkers, every week" - then don't.
– Joe Strazzere
1 hour ago
Which country is this in? In the UK "Why would I want to?" would be an adequate sarcastic response, possibly followed by "I have a family", finishing off with "If I do come I can guarantee you won't invite me again".
– Darren Bartrup-Cook
15 mins ago
@DarrenBartrup-Cook The Netherlands
– Summer
12 mins ago