Telling a possible romantic interest that I cannot share my current industry contacts [on hold]

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I met someone recently who I originally thought was pleasant, smart and ambitious -- I still somewhat think that of her.



The problem is now I realize she is pushing me to give her all of my recent contacts, interview information, company details, etc.



Given my current, unexpected difficulties in my own job search, I don't feel I could afford to help her that much at the moment.



She's very thankful for my time and all of my insights and the contacts I've already given her, but the problem is that now she is asking for even more -- even my current interviews that are in-progress, and I feel somewhat overwhelmed and even a little alarmed, to be honest. I only just met this person, and my gut feeling is that she will drop me as soon as she has gotten what she wants from me.



How can I tactfully navigate this situation professionally, to help her while also providing a little pushback and saying that I can't just give her all of my current in-progress interview details?










share|improve this question















put on hold as unclear what you're asking by gnat, Dukeling, solarflare, Michael Grubey, Twyxz 2 days ago


Please clarify your specific problem or add additional details to highlight exactly what you need. As it's currently written, it’s hard to tell exactly what you're asking. See the How to Ask page for help clarifying this question. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.










  • 2




    I'm not really sure this has anything to do with the workplace. This person wants to know about workplace topic, but this may be a better fit on the interpersonal communication SE
    – SaggingRufus
    Oct 23 at 15:48






  • 2




    @SaggingRufus We have so many questions about how to phrase something tactfully or professionally. While this question may be suitable for IPS as well, it is still most definitely on topic here.
    – David K
    Oct 23 at 16:38










  • @JoeStrazzere possibly a romantic interest
    – Jalapeno Nachos
    Oct 23 at 19:41










  • @JoeStrazzere though I can't tell what she wants; I am however alarmed by her digging so deeply at my in-progress work in my job search ... I literally cannot afford to miss an opportunity or give one away right now ... but at the same time, she's very thankful and whatnot, and I want to help, however I can.
    – Jalapeno Nachos
    Oct 23 at 19:42







  • 1




    VOTED TO REOPEN - seems clear to me. It's odd that folks would vote to close this question. What part don't you understand?
    – Joe Strazzere
    2 days ago

















up vote
0
down vote

favorite












I met someone recently who I originally thought was pleasant, smart and ambitious -- I still somewhat think that of her.



The problem is now I realize she is pushing me to give her all of my recent contacts, interview information, company details, etc.



Given my current, unexpected difficulties in my own job search, I don't feel I could afford to help her that much at the moment.



She's very thankful for my time and all of my insights and the contacts I've already given her, but the problem is that now she is asking for even more -- even my current interviews that are in-progress, and I feel somewhat overwhelmed and even a little alarmed, to be honest. I only just met this person, and my gut feeling is that she will drop me as soon as she has gotten what she wants from me.



How can I tactfully navigate this situation professionally, to help her while also providing a little pushback and saying that I can't just give her all of my current in-progress interview details?










share|improve this question















put on hold as unclear what you're asking by gnat, Dukeling, solarflare, Michael Grubey, Twyxz 2 days ago


Please clarify your specific problem or add additional details to highlight exactly what you need. As it's currently written, it’s hard to tell exactly what you're asking. See the How to Ask page for help clarifying this question. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.










  • 2




    I'm not really sure this has anything to do with the workplace. This person wants to know about workplace topic, but this may be a better fit on the interpersonal communication SE
    – SaggingRufus
    Oct 23 at 15:48






  • 2




    @SaggingRufus We have so many questions about how to phrase something tactfully or professionally. While this question may be suitable for IPS as well, it is still most definitely on topic here.
    – David K
    Oct 23 at 16:38










  • @JoeStrazzere possibly a romantic interest
    – Jalapeno Nachos
    Oct 23 at 19:41










  • @JoeStrazzere though I can't tell what she wants; I am however alarmed by her digging so deeply at my in-progress work in my job search ... I literally cannot afford to miss an opportunity or give one away right now ... but at the same time, she's very thankful and whatnot, and I want to help, however I can.
    – Jalapeno Nachos
    Oct 23 at 19:42







  • 1




    VOTED TO REOPEN - seems clear to me. It's odd that folks would vote to close this question. What part don't you understand?
    – Joe Strazzere
    2 days ago













up vote
0
down vote

favorite









up vote
0
down vote

favorite











I met someone recently who I originally thought was pleasant, smart and ambitious -- I still somewhat think that of her.



The problem is now I realize she is pushing me to give her all of my recent contacts, interview information, company details, etc.



Given my current, unexpected difficulties in my own job search, I don't feel I could afford to help her that much at the moment.



She's very thankful for my time and all of my insights and the contacts I've already given her, but the problem is that now she is asking for even more -- even my current interviews that are in-progress, and I feel somewhat overwhelmed and even a little alarmed, to be honest. I only just met this person, and my gut feeling is that she will drop me as soon as she has gotten what she wants from me.



How can I tactfully navigate this situation professionally, to help her while also providing a little pushback and saying that I can't just give her all of my current in-progress interview details?










share|improve this question















I met someone recently who I originally thought was pleasant, smart and ambitious -- I still somewhat think that of her.



The problem is now I realize she is pushing me to give her all of my recent contacts, interview information, company details, etc.



Given my current, unexpected difficulties in my own job search, I don't feel I could afford to help her that much at the moment.



She's very thankful for my time and all of my insights and the contacts I've already given her, but the problem is that now she is asking for even more -- even my current interviews that are in-progress, and I feel somewhat overwhelmed and even a little alarmed, to be honest. I only just met this person, and my gut feeling is that she will drop me as soon as she has gotten what she wants from me.



How can I tactfully navigate this situation professionally, to help her while also providing a little pushback and saying that I can't just give her all of my current in-progress interview details?







interviewing networking






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share|improve this question




share|improve this question








edited 2 mins ago









Joe Strazzere

233k113684969




233k113684969










asked Oct 23 at 15:46









Jalapeno Nachos

1




1




put on hold as unclear what you're asking by gnat, Dukeling, solarflare, Michael Grubey, Twyxz 2 days ago


Please clarify your specific problem or add additional details to highlight exactly what you need. As it's currently written, it’s hard to tell exactly what you're asking. See the How to Ask page for help clarifying this question. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.






put on hold as unclear what you're asking by gnat, Dukeling, solarflare, Michael Grubey, Twyxz 2 days ago


Please clarify your specific problem or add additional details to highlight exactly what you need. As it's currently written, it’s hard to tell exactly what you're asking. See the How to Ask page for help clarifying this question. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.









  • 2




    I'm not really sure this has anything to do with the workplace. This person wants to know about workplace topic, but this may be a better fit on the interpersonal communication SE
    – SaggingRufus
    Oct 23 at 15:48






  • 2




    @SaggingRufus We have so many questions about how to phrase something tactfully or professionally. While this question may be suitable for IPS as well, it is still most definitely on topic here.
    – David K
    Oct 23 at 16:38










  • @JoeStrazzere possibly a romantic interest
    – Jalapeno Nachos
    Oct 23 at 19:41










  • @JoeStrazzere though I can't tell what she wants; I am however alarmed by her digging so deeply at my in-progress work in my job search ... I literally cannot afford to miss an opportunity or give one away right now ... but at the same time, she's very thankful and whatnot, and I want to help, however I can.
    – Jalapeno Nachos
    Oct 23 at 19:42







  • 1




    VOTED TO REOPEN - seems clear to me. It's odd that folks would vote to close this question. What part don't you understand?
    – Joe Strazzere
    2 days ago













  • 2




    I'm not really sure this has anything to do with the workplace. This person wants to know about workplace topic, but this may be a better fit on the interpersonal communication SE
    – SaggingRufus
    Oct 23 at 15:48






  • 2




    @SaggingRufus We have so many questions about how to phrase something tactfully or professionally. While this question may be suitable for IPS as well, it is still most definitely on topic here.
    – David K
    Oct 23 at 16:38










  • @JoeStrazzere possibly a romantic interest
    – Jalapeno Nachos
    Oct 23 at 19:41










  • @JoeStrazzere though I can't tell what she wants; I am however alarmed by her digging so deeply at my in-progress work in my job search ... I literally cannot afford to miss an opportunity or give one away right now ... but at the same time, she's very thankful and whatnot, and I want to help, however I can.
    – Jalapeno Nachos
    Oct 23 at 19:42







  • 1




    VOTED TO REOPEN - seems clear to me. It's odd that folks would vote to close this question. What part don't you understand?
    – Joe Strazzere
    2 days ago








2




2




I'm not really sure this has anything to do with the workplace. This person wants to know about workplace topic, but this may be a better fit on the interpersonal communication SE
– SaggingRufus
Oct 23 at 15:48




I'm not really sure this has anything to do with the workplace. This person wants to know about workplace topic, but this may be a better fit on the interpersonal communication SE
– SaggingRufus
Oct 23 at 15:48




2




2




@SaggingRufus We have so many questions about how to phrase something tactfully or professionally. While this question may be suitable for IPS as well, it is still most definitely on topic here.
– David K
Oct 23 at 16:38




@SaggingRufus We have so many questions about how to phrase something tactfully or professionally. While this question may be suitable for IPS as well, it is still most definitely on topic here.
– David K
Oct 23 at 16:38












@JoeStrazzere possibly a romantic interest
– Jalapeno Nachos
Oct 23 at 19:41




@JoeStrazzere possibly a romantic interest
– Jalapeno Nachos
Oct 23 at 19:41












@JoeStrazzere though I can't tell what she wants; I am however alarmed by her digging so deeply at my in-progress work in my job search ... I literally cannot afford to miss an opportunity or give one away right now ... but at the same time, she's very thankful and whatnot, and I want to help, however I can.
– Jalapeno Nachos
Oct 23 at 19:42





@JoeStrazzere though I can't tell what she wants; I am however alarmed by her digging so deeply at my in-progress work in my job search ... I literally cannot afford to miss an opportunity or give one away right now ... but at the same time, she's very thankful and whatnot, and I want to help, however I can.
– Jalapeno Nachos
Oct 23 at 19:42





1




1




VOTED TO REOPEN - seems clear to me. It's odd that folks would vote to close this question. What part don't you understand?
– Joe Strazzere
2 days ago





VOTED TO REOPEN - seems clear to me. It's odd that folks would vote to close this question. What part don't you understand?
– Joe Strazzere
2 days ago











3 Answers
3






active

oldest

votes

















up vote
6
down vote














I only just met this person, and my gut feeling is that she will drop me as soon as she has gotten what she wants from me.




I think your gut has it right here.. she's asking for information about your currently in-progress applications? Wow.. that's like she's not even trying to hide it.



If you still think there might be a connection that's worth preserving you could fob her off with something like




Sorry but I'm not able to discuss my current applications, confidentiality you understand. I'll be happy to fill you in once the process has concluded.




But I must admit personally I'd be dropping this person faster than a very fast thing.






share|improve this answer



























    up vote
    3
    down vote














    How can I tactfully navigate this situation professionally, to help
    her while also providing a little pushback and saying that I can't
    just give her all of my current in-progress interview details?




    Something like "Sorry. I'm not comfortable giving out that sort of information." should work.



    Since you consider her a "possible romantic interest", you want to find out sooner than later if she is only interested in your for your professional contacts, or is actually interested in you. This should help determine that one way or the other.






    share|improve this answer





























      up vote
      2
      down vote













      Two knee-jerk responses...



      1. Sorry but my network and interviewing history is not public information.

      2. Is there an offer on the table? and then don't say anything

      Is this person a company recruiter or an independent recruiter? If independant they may also be trying to determine how desperate you are and therefore how low a rate your can work for, and to get whatever dirt/info they can on who else is hiring. Either way it is totally not in your best interests to give up this information, especially if this person is less-than-credible as they may try to call THOSE hiring managers and say something like 'So... I hear you're hiring for x position and talking to y. I can present you with another guy for 20% less than what y will charge!'



      I agree with motosubatsu's comment (+1) that personally I'd probably drop this person.






      share|improve this answer




















      • Hi Jim, this person is actually a new friend, not a recruiter, but your answer is really insightful nonetheless. Thanks!
        – Jalapeno Nachos
        Oct 23 at 18:15










      • Ok. You'll probably want to describe what kind of new friend this is for us to give a more direct answer. In the industry and also looking for a job? In the industry for a long time, and would probably know these companies if not the hiring managers and recruiters? Not in the industry? Babe in a bar? Some absolute stranger? Our answers can wildly differ based on this info.
        – Jim Horn
        2 days ago










      • A stranger from a coffee shop
        – Jalapeno Nachos
        2 days ago










      • Hmm. Not enough information, as only you can determine if this person just wanted to 'chat you up' and be social or if they had some kind of other ulterior motive for knowing. Maybe he/she was also looking and was desperate enough to learn anything they could off of you. Lots of job interviews happen in coffee shops. Either way .. good luck.
        – Jim Horn
        2 days ago










      • Coffees have now progressed to dinners and lots and lots of emails from her. But yes, I don't know her motives, she is job searching frantically though. Romance? I'm not sure, tbh.
        – Jalapeno Nachos
        2 days ago


















      3 Answers
      3






      active

      oldest

      votes








      3 Answers
      3






      active

      oldest

      votes









      active

      oldest

      votes






      active

      oldest

      votes








      up vote
      6
      down vote














      I only just met this person, and my gut feeling is that she will drop me as soon as she has gotten what she wants from me.




      I think your gut has it right here.. she's asking for information about your currently in-progress applications? Wow.. that's like she's not even trying to hide it.



      If you still think there might be a connection that's worth preserving you could fob her off with something like




      Sorry but I'm not able to discuss my current applications, confidentiality you understand. I'll be happy to fill you in once the process has concluded.




      But I must admit personally I'd be dropping this person faster than a very fast thing.






      share|improve this answer
























        up vote
        6
        down vote














        I only just met this person, and my gut feeling is that she will drop me as soon as she has gotten what she wants from me.




        I think your gut has it right here.. she's asking for information about your currently in-progress applications? Wow.. that's like she's not even trying to hide it.



        If you still think there might be a connection that's worth preserving you could fob her off with something like




        Sorry but I'm not able to discuss my current applications, confidentiality you understand. I'll be happy to fill you in once the process has concluded.




        But I must admit personally I'd be dropping this person faster than a very fast thing.






        share|improve this answer






















          up vote
          6
          down vote










          up vote
          6
          down vote










          I only just met this person, and my gut feeling is that she will drop me as soon as she has gotten what she wants from me.




          I think your gut has it right here.. she's asking for information about your currently in-progress applications? Wow.. that's like she's not even trying to hide it.



          If you still think there might be a connection that's worth preserving you could fob her off with something like




          Sorry but I'm not able to discuss my current applications, confidentiality you understand. I'll be happy to fill you in once the process has concluded.




          But I must admit personally I'd be dropping this person faster than a very fast thing.






          share|improve this answer













          I only just met this person, and my gut feeling is that she will drop me as soon as she has gotten what she wants from me.




          I think your gut has it right here.. she's asking for information about your currently in-progress applications? Wow.. that's like she's not even trying to hide it.



          If you still think there might be a connection that's worth preserving you could fob her off with something like




          Sorry but I'm not able to discuss my current applications, confidentiality you understand. I'll be happy to fill you in once the process has concluded.




          But I must admit personally I'd be dropping this person faster than a very fast thing.







          share|improve this answer












          share|improve this answer



          share|improve this answer










          answered Oct 23 at 16:12









          motosubatsu

          35.9k1595154




          35.9k1595154






















              up vote
              3
              down vote














              How can I tactfully navigate this situation professionally, to help
              her while also providing a little pushback and saying that I can't
              just give her all of my current in-progress interview details?




              Something like "Sorry. I'm not comfortable giving out that sort of information." should work.



              Since you consider her a "possible romantic interest", you want to find out sooner than later if she is only interested in your for your professional contacts, or is actually interested in you. This should help determine that one way or the other.






              share|improve this answer


























                up vote
                3
                down vote














                How can I tactfully navigate this situation professionally, to help
                her while also providing a little pushback and saying that I can't
                just give her all of my current in-progress interview details?




                Something like "Sorry. I'm not comfortable giving out that sort of information." should work.



                Since you consider her a "possible romantic interest", you want to find out sooner than later if she is only interested in your for your professional contacts, or is actually interested in you. This should help determine that one way or the other.






                share|improve this answer
























                  up vote
                  3
                  down vote










                  up vote
                  3
                  down vote










                  How can I tactfully navigate this situation professionally, to help
                  her while also providing a little pushback and saying that I can't
                  just give her all of my current in-progress interview details?




                  Something like "Sorry. I'm not comfortable giving out that sort of information." should work.



                  Since you consider her a "possible romantic interest", you want to find out sooner than later if she is only interested in your for your professional contacts, or is actually interested in you. This should help determine that one way or the other.






                  share|improve this answer















                  How can I tactfully navigate this situation professionally, to help
                  her while also providing a little pushback and saying that I can't
                  just give her all of my current in-progress interview details?




                  Something like "Sorry. I'm not comfortable giving out that sort of information." should work.



                  Since you consider her a "possible romantic interest", you want to find out sooner than later if she is only interested in your for your professional contacts, or is actually interested in you. This should help determine that one way or the other.







                  share|improve this answer














                  share|improve this answer



                  share|improve this answer








                  edited Oct 23 at 19:43

























                  answered Oct 23 at 19:38









                  Joe Strazzere

                  233k113684969




                  233k113684969




















                      up vote
                      2
                      down vote













                      Two knee-jerk responses...



                      1. Sorry but my network and interviewing history is not public information.

                      2. Is there an offer on the table? and then don't say anything

                      Is this person a company recruiter or an independent recruiter? If independant they may also be trying to determine how desperate you are and therefore how low a rate your can work for, and to get whatever dirt/info they can on who else is hiring. Either way it is totally not in your best interests to give up this information, especially if this person is less-than-credible as they may try to call THOSE hiring managers and say something like 'So... I hear you're hiring for x position and talking to y. I can present you with another guy for 20% less than what y will charge!'



                      I agree with motosubatsu's comment (+1) that personally I'd probably drop this person.






                      share|improve this answer




















                      • Hi Jim, this person is actually a new friend, not a recruiter, but your answer is really insightful nonetheless. Thanks!
                        – Jalapeno Nachos
                        Oct 23 at 18:15










                      • Ok. You'll probably want to describe what kind of new friend this is for us to give a more direct answer. In the industry and also looking for a job? In the industry for a long time, and would probably know these companies if not the hiring managers and recruiters? Not in the industry? Babe in a bar? Some absolute stranger? Our answers can wildly differ based on this info.
                        – Jim Horn
                        2 days ago










                      • A stranger from a coffee shop
                        – Jalapeno Nachos
                        2 days ago










                      • Hmm. Not enough information, as only you can determine if this person just wanted to 'chat you up' and be social or if they had some kind of other ulterior motive for knowing. Maybe he/she was also looking and was desperate enough to learn anything they could off of you. Lots of job interviews happen in coffee shops. Either way .. good luck.
                        – Jim Horn
                        2 days ago










                      • Coffees have now progressed to dinners and lots and lots of emails from her. But yes, I don't know her motives, she is job searching frantically though. Romance? I'm not sure, tbh.
                        – Jalapeno Nachos
                        2 days ago















                      up vote
                      2
                      down vote













                      Two knee-jerk responses...



                      1. Sorry but my network and interviewing history is not public information.

                      2. Is there an offer on the table? and then don't say anything

                      Is this person a company recruiter or an independent recruiter? If independant they may also be trying to determine how desperate you are and therefore how low a rate your can work for, and to get whatever dirt/info they can on who else is hiring. Either way it is totally not in your best interests to give up this information, especially if this person is less-than-credible as they may try to call THOSE hiring managers and say something like 'So... I hear you're hiring for x position and talking to y. I can present you with another guy for 20% less than what y will charge!'



                      I agree with motosubatsu's comment (+1) that personally I'd probably drop this person.






                      share|improve this answer




















                      • Hi Jim, this person is actually a new friend, not a recruiter, but your answer is really insightful nonetheless. Thanks!
                        – Jalapeno Nachos
                        Oct 23 at 18:15










                      • Ok. You'll probably want to describe what kind of new friend this is for us to give a more direct answer. In the industry and also looking for a job? In the industry for a long time, and would probably know these companies if not the hiring managers and recruiters? Not in the industry? Babe in a bar? Some absolute stranger? Our answers can wildly differ based on this info.
                        – Jim Horn
                        2 days ago










                      • A stranger from a coffee shop
                        – Jalapeno Nachos
                        2 days ago










                      • Hmm. Not enough information, as only you can determine if this person just wanted to 'chat you up' and be social or if they had some kind of other ulterior motive for knowing. Maybe he/she was also looking and was desperate enough to learn anything they could off of you. Lots of job interviews happen in coffee shops. Either way .. good luck.
                        – Jim Horn
                        2 days ago










                      • Coffees have now progressed to dinners and lots and lots of emails from her. But yes, I don't know her motives, she is job searching frantically though. Romance? I'm not sure, tbh.
                        – Jalapeno Nachos
                        2 days ago













                      up vote
                      2
                      down vote










                      up vote
                      2
                      down vote









                      Two knee-jerk responses...



                      1. Sorry but my network and interviewing history is not public information.

                      2. Is there an offer on the table? and then don't say anything

                      Is this person a company recruiter or an independent recruiter? If independant they may also be trying to determine how desperate you are and therefore how low a rate your can work for, and to get whatever dirt/info they can on who else is hiring. Either way it is totally not in your best interests to give up this information, especially if this person is less-than-credible as they may try to call THOSE hiring managers and say something like 'So... I hear you're hiring for x position and talking to y. I can present you with another guy for 20% less than what y will charge!'



                      I agree with motosubatsu's comment (+1) that personally I'd probably drop this person.






                      share|improve this answer












                      Two knee-jerk responses...



                      1. Sorry but my network and interviewing history is not public information.

                      2. Is there an offer on the table? and then don't say anything

                      Is this person a company recruiter or an independent recruiter? If independant they may also be trying to determine how desperate you are and therefore how low a rate your can work for, and to get whatever dirt/info they can on who else is hiring. Either way it is totally not in your best interests to give up this information, especially if this person is less-than-credible as they may try to call THOSE hiring managers and say something like 'So... I hear you're hiring for x position and talking to y. I can present you with another guy for 20% less than what y will charge!'



                      I agree with motosubatsu's comment (+1) that personally I'd probably drop this person.







                      share|improve this answer












                      share|improve this answer



                      share|improve this answer










                      answered Oct 23 at 16:28









                      Jim Horn

                      2,648215




                      2,648215











                      • Hi Jim, this person is actually a new friend, not a recruiter, but your answer is really insightful nonetheless. Thanks!
                        – Jalapeno Nachos
                        Oct 23 at 18:15










                      • Ok. You'll probably want to describe what kind of new friend this is for us to give a more direct answer. In the industry and also looking for a job? In the industry for a long time, and would probably know these companies if not the hiring managers and recruiters? Not in the industry? Babe in a bar? Some absolute stranger? Our answers can wildly differ based on this info.
                        – Jim Horn
                        2 days ago










                      • A stranger from a coffee shop
                        – Jalapeno Nachos
                        2 days ago










                      • Hmm. Not enough information, as only you can determine if this person just wanted to 'chat you up' and be social or if they had some kind of other ulterior motive for knowing. Maybe he/she was also looking and was desperate enough to learn anything they could off of you. Lots of job interviews happen in coffee shops. Either way .. good luck.
                        – Jim Horn
                        2 days ago










                      • Coffees have now progressed to dinners and lots and lots of emails from her. But yes, I don't know her motives, she is job searching frantically though. Romance? I'm not sure, tbh.
                        – Jalapeno Nachos
                        2 days ago

















                      • Hi Jim, this person is actually a new friend, not a recruiter, but your answer is really insightful nonetheless. Thanks!
                        – Jalapeno Nachos
                        Oct 23 at 18:15










                      • Ok. You'll probably want to describe what kind of new friend this is for us to give a more direct answer. In the industry and also looking for a job? In the industry for a long time, and would probably know these companies if not the hiring managers and recruiters? Not in the industry? Babe in a bar? Some absolute stranger? Our answers can wildly differ based on this info.
                        – Jim Horn
                        2 days ago










                      • A stranger from a coffee shop
                        – Jalapeno Nachos
                        2 days ago










                      • Hmm. Not enough information, as only you can determine if this person just wanted to 'chat you up' and be social or if they had some kind of other ulterior motive for knowing. Maybe he/she was also looking and was desperate enough to learn anything they could off of you. Lots of job interviews happen in coffee shops. Either way .. good luck.
                        – Jim Horn
                        2 days ago










                      • Coffees have now progressed to dinners and lots and lots of emails from her. But yes, I don't know her motives, she is job searching frantically though. Romance? I'm not sure, tbh.
                        – Jalapeno Nachos
                        2 days ago
















                      Hi Jim, this person is actually a new friend, not a recruiter, but your answer is really insightful nonetheless. Thanks!
                      – Jalapeno Nachos
                      Oct 23 at 18:15




                      Hi Jim, this person is actually a new friend, not a recruiter, but your answer is really insightful nonetheless. Thanks!
                      – Jalapeno Nachos
                      Oct 23 at 18:15












                      Ok. You'll probably want to describe what kind of new friend this is for us to give a more direct answer. In the industry and also looking for a job? In the industry for a long time, and would probably know these companies if not the hiring managers and recruiters? Not in the industry? Babe in a bar? Some absolute stranger? Our answers can wildly differ based on this info.
                      – Jim Horn
                      2 days ago




                      Ok. You'll probably want to describe what kind of new friend this is for us to give a more direct answer. In the industry and also looking for a job? In the industry for a long time, and would probably know these companies if not the hiring managers and recruiters? Not in the industry? Babe in a bar? Some absolute stranger? Our answers can wildly differ based on this info.
                      – Jim Horn
                      2 days ago












                      A stranger from a coffee shop
                      – Jalapeno Nachos
                      2 days ago




                      A stranger from a coffee shop
                      – Jalapeno Nachos
                      2 days ago












                      Hmm. Not enough information, as only you can determine if this person just wanted to 'chat you up' and be social or if they had some kind of other ulterior motive for knowing. Maybe he/she was also looking and was desperate enough to learn anything they could off of you. Lots of job interviews happen in coffee shops. Either way .. good luck.
                      – Jim Horn
                      2 days ago




                      Hmm. Not enough information, as only you can determine if this person just wanted to 'chat you up' and be social or if they had some kind of other ulterior motive for knowing. Maybe he/she was also looking and was desperate enough to learn anything they could off of you. Lots of job interviews happen in coffee shops. Either way .. good luck.
                      – Jim Horn
                      2 days ago












                      Coffees have now progressed to dinners and lots and lots of emails from her. But yes, I don't know her motives, she is job searching frantically though. Romance? I'm not sure, tbh.
                      – Jalapeno Nachos
                      2 days ago





                      Coffees have now progressed to dinners and lots and lots of emails from her. But yes, I don't know her motives, she is job searching frantically though. Romance? I'm not sure, tbh.
                      – Jalapeno Nachos
                      2 days ago



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