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How to communicate to my aunt that she made an honest mistake when buying food for a family meal?
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TL;DR
My aunt bought some houmous thinking it was vegan when it wasn't. How do I tell her she made a mistake without upsetting her?
Background
The other day, I was at a family dinner. My aunt didn't mind making it a vegan meal.
She bought houmous thinking it was vegan. My little sister pointed out (to me, privately) that it wasn't vegan because there was some white cheese inside (she knew because she had helped to transfer the houmous from the box into a nicer container).
Later during the meal, my cousin asked me if I had checked that the chips were vegan. I hadn't, my little sister ran to see if they were, they were.
My aunt got mad at my cousin (her son) and said that she had checked the chips and that she also had checked the houmous and there weren't any eggs in it so both were vegan.
I didn't say anything to my aunt (because I didn't want to upset her further). I just double checked with my sister that the houmous wasn't vegan (she was sure that there was cheese in it).
The Problem
My aunt bought the houmous thinking it was vegan (because it had no eggs in it) but it wasn't, as there was cheese in it. Now she might make the same mistake in the future. I don't want this to happen but I also don't want to hurt my aunt (she is a very sensitive person).
What I tried
Nothing. When she told my cousin she had checked for eggs, it was a very bad timing to tell her that the houmous was, in fact, not vegan because of the cheese.
Question
How to communicate to my aunt that she made an honest mistake when buying the food for this family meal, without upsetting her?
Notes and clarifications
I'm the only vegan in my family but my other cousin (my aunt's daughter), who wasn't there that day, is vegetarian.
Even though my little sister is not a vegan nor a vegetarian, she is very supportive of me and will always be on my side when it comes to veganism.
My aunt knows the difference between vegan and vegetarian (she had put vegan cheese on the lasagna and she buys me rice milk when I stay for the night).
I'm 23 and my sister is 17.
I never saw the ingredients list but I trust my sister.
This happened yesterday
conversations family france
asked 1 hour ago
Noon
2,9072928
add a comment |Â
up vote
1
down vote
favorite
TL;DR
My aunt bought some houmous thinking it was vegan when it wasn't. How do I tell her she made a mistake without upsetting her?
Background
The other day, I was at a family dinner. My aunt didn't mind making it a vegan meal.
She bought houmous thinking it was vegan. My little sister pointed out (to me, privately) that it wasn't vegan because there was some white cheese inside (she knew because she had helped to transfer the houmous from the box into a nicer container).
Later during the meal, my cousin asked me if I had checked that the chips were vegan. I hadn't, my little sister ran to see if they were, they were.
My aunt got mad at my cousin (her son) and said that she had checked the chips and that she also had checked the houmous and there weren't any eggs in it so both were vegan.
I didn't say anything to my aunt (because I didn't want to upset her further). I just double checked with my sister that the houmous wasn't vegan (she was sure that there was cheese in it).
The Problem
My aunt bought the houmous thinking it was vegan (because it had no eggs in it) but it wasn't, as there was cheese in it. Now she might make the same mistake in the future. I don't want this to happen but I also don't want to hurt my aunt (she is a very sensitive person).
What I tried
Nothing. When she told my cousin she had checked for eggs, it was a very bad timing to tell her that the houmous was, in fact, not vegan because of the cheese.
Question
How to communicate to my aunt that she made an honest mistake when buying the food for this family meal, without upsetting her?
Notes and clarifications
I'm the only vegan in my family but my other cousin (my aunt's daughter), who wasn't there that day, is vegetarian.
Even though my little sister is not a vegan nor a vegetarian, she is very supportive of me and will always be on my side when it comes to veganism.
My aunt knows the difference between vegan and vegetarian (she had put vegan cheese on the lasagna and she buys me rice milk when I stay for the night).
I'm 23 and my sister is 17.
I never saw the ingredients list but I trust my sister.
This happened yesterday
conversations family france
asked 1 hour ago
Noon
2,9072928
add a comment |Â
up vote
1
down vote
favorite
up vote
1
down vote
favorite
TL;DR
My aunt bought some houmous thinking it was vegan when it wasn't. How do I tell her she made a mistake without upsetting her?
Background
The other day, I was at a family dinner. My aunt didn't mind making it a vegan meal.
She bought houmous thinking it was vegan. My little sister pointed out (to me, privately) that it wasn't vegan because there was some white cheese inside (she knew because she had helped to transfer the houmous from the box into a nicer container).
Later during the meal, my cousin asked me if I had checked that the chips were vegan. I hadn't, my little sister ran to see if they were, they were.
My aunt got mad at my cousin (her son) and said that she had checked the chips and that she also had checked the houmous and there weren't any eggs in it so both were vegan.
I didn't say anything to my aunt (because I didn't want to upset her further). I just double checked with my sister that the houmous wasn't vegan (she was sure that there was cheese in it).
The Problem
My aunt bought the houmous thinking it was vegan (because it had no eggs in it) but it wasn't, as there was cheese in it. Now she might make the same mistake in the future. I don't want this to happen but I also don't want to hurt my aunt (she is a very sensitive person).
What I tried
Nothing. When she told my cousin she had checked for eggs, it was a very bad timing to tell her that the houmous was, in fact, not vegan because of the cheese.
Question
How to communicate to my aunt that she made an honest mistake when buying the food for this family meal, without upsetting her?
Notes and clarifications
I'm the only vegan in my family but my other cousin (my aunt's daughter), who wasn't there that day, is vegetarian.
Even though my little sister is not a vegan nor a vegetarian, she is very supportive of me and will always be on my side when it comes to veganism.
My aunt knows the difference between vegan and vegetarian (she had put vegan cheese on the lasagna and she buys me rice milk when I stay for the night).
I'm 23 and my sister is 17.
I never saw the ingredients list but I trust my sister.
This happened yesterday
conversations family france
asked 1 hour ago
Noon
2,9072928
TL;DR
My aunt bought some houmous thinking it was vegan when it wasn't. How do I tell her she made a mistake without upsetting her?
Background
The other day, I was at a family dinner. My aunt didn't mind making it a vegan meal.
She bought houmous thinking it was vegan. My little sister pointed out (to me, privately) that it wasn't vegan because there was some white cheese inside (she knew because she had helped to transfer the houmous from the box into a nicer container).
Later during the meal, my cousin asked me if I had checked that the chips were vegan. I hadn't, my little sister ran to see if they were, they were.
My aunt got mad at my cousin (her son) and said that she had checked the chips and that she also had checked the houmous and there weren't any eggs in it so both were vegan.
I didn't say anything to my aunt (because I didn't want to upset her further). I just double checked with my sister that the houmous wasn't vegan (she was sure that there was cheese in it).
The Problem
My aunt bought the houmous thinking it was vegan (because it had no eggs in it) but it wasn't, as there was cheese in it. Now she might make the same mistake in the future. I don't want this to happen but I also don't want to hurt my aunt (she is a very sensitive person).
What I tried
Nothing. When she told my cousin she had checked for eggs, it was a very bad timing to tell her that the houmous was, in fact, not vegan because of the cheese.
Question
How to communicate to my aunt that she made an honest mistake when buying the food for this family meal, without upsetting her?
Notes and clarifications
I'm the only vegan in my family but my other cousin (my aunt's daughter), who wasn't there that day, is vegetarian.
Even though my little sister is not a vegan nor a vegetarian, she is very supportive of me and will always be on my side when it comes to veganism.
My aunt knows the difference between vegan and vegetarian (she had put vegan cheese on the lasagna and she buys me rice milk when I stay for the night).
I'm 23 and my sister is 17.
I never saw the ingredients list but I trust my sister.
This happened yesterday
conversations family france
conversations family france
asked 1 hour ago
Noon
2,9072928
asked 1 hour ago
Noon
2,9072928
edited 1 hour ago
asked 1 hour ago
Noon
2,9072928
asked 1 hour ago
Noon
2,9072928
asked 1 hour ago
Noon
2,9072928
2,9072928
add a comment |Â
add a comment |Â
1 Answer
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Her becoming upset about the matter will most likely come from a place of trying to make you feel included but failing to do so (seeing as she had checked the ingredients but missed the cheese by accident). I would approach the subject with a very polite "thanks for putting in the effort to make me feel included"-mindset.
Make sure to let her know that you appreciate the effort she put in, but explain that unfortunately a lot of food is very tricky to find in vegan/vegetarian forms, even as a veteran vegan/vegetarian. I'm sure you've got some stories about finding some tasty looking food, but then finding out it was non-vegan that you could tell her to let her know that it is very tricky.
This is the way that my SO has talked to my family when presented with food that she could not eat (diabetic), and instead turns the "I can't eat this!" into "I saw a really good light soft drink that turned out to be incredibly sugary; it's so hard to find good alternatives" story. This also reduces the blame/shame put on the party that purchased the item.
answered 1 hour ago
JCJ
1,134220
add a comment |Â
1 Answer
1
active
oldest
votes
1 Answer
1
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
up vote
3
down vote
Her becoming upset about the matter will most likely come from a place of trying to make you feel included but failing to do so (seeing as she had checked the ingredients but missed the cheese by accident). I would approach the subject with a very polite "thanks for putting in the effort to make me feel included"-mindset.
Make sure to let her know that you appreciate the effort she put in, but explain that unfortunately a lot of food is very tricky to find in vegan/vegetarian forms, even as a veteran vegan/vegetarian. I'm sure you've got some stories about finding some tasty looking food, but then finding out it was non-vegan that you could tell her to let her know that it is very tricky.
This is the way that my SO has talked to my family when presented with food that she could not eat (diabetic), and instead turns the "I can't eat this!" into "I saw a really good light soft drink that turned out to be incredibly sugary; it's so hard to find good alternatives" story. This also reduces the blame/shame put on the party that purchased the item.
answered 1 hour ago
JCJ
1,134220
add a comment |Â
up vote
3
down vote
Her becoming upset about the matter will most likely come from a place of trying to make you feel included but failing to do so (seeing as she had checked the ingredients but missed the cheese by accident). I would approach the subject with a very polite "thanks for putting in the effort to make me feel included"-mindset.
Make sure to let her know that you appreciate the effort she put in, but explain that unfortunately a lot of food is very tricky to find in vegan/vegetarian forms, even as a veteran vegan/vegetarian. I'm sure you've got some stories about finding some tasty looking food, but then finding out it was non-vegan that you could tell her to let her know that it is very tricky.
This is the way that my SO has talked to my family when presented with food that she could not eat (diabetic), and instead turns the "I can't eat this!" into "I saw a really good light soft drink that turned out to be incredibly sugary; it's so hard to find good alternatives" story. This also reduces the blame/shame put on the party that purchased the item.
answered 1 hour ago
JCJ
1,134220
add a comment |Â
up vote
3
down vote
up vote
3
down vote
Her becoming upset about the matter will most likely come from a place of trying to make you feel included but failing to do so (seeing as she had checked the ingredients but missed the cheese by accident). I would approach the subject with a very polite "thanks for putting in the effort to make me feel included"-mindset.
Make sure to let her know that you appreciate the effort she put in, but explain that unfortunately a lot of food is very tricky to find in vegan/vegetarian forms, even as a veteran vegan/vegetarian. I'm sure you've got some stories about finding some tasty looking food, but then finding out it was non-vegan that you could tell her to let her know that it is very tricky.
This is the way that my SO has talked to my family when presented with food that she could not eat (diabetic), and instead turns the "I can't eat this!" into "I saw a really good light soft drink that turned out to be incredibly sugary; it's so hard to find good alternatives" story. This also reduces the blame/shame put on the party that purchased the item.
answered 1 hour ago
JCJ
1,134220
Her becoming upset about the matter will most likely come from a place of trying to make you feel included but failing to do so (seeing as she had checked the ingredients but missed the cheese by accident). I would approach the subject with a very polite "thanks for putting in the effort to make me feel included"-mindset.
Make sure to let her know that you appreciate the effort she put in, but explain that unfortunately a lot of food is very tricky to find in vegan/vegetarian forms, even as a veteran vegan/vegetarian. I'm sure you've got some stories about finding some tasty looking food, but then finding out it was non-vegan that you could tell her to let her know that it is very tricky.
This is the way that my SO has talked to my family when presented with food that she could not eat (diabetic), and instead turns the "I can't eat this!" into "I saw a really good light soft drink that turned out to be incredibly sugary; it's so hard to find good alternatives" story. This also reduces the blame/shame put on the party that purchased the item.
answered 1 hour ago
JCJ
1,134220
answered 1 hour ago
JCJ
1,134220
answered 1 hour ago
JCJ
1,134220
answered 1 hour ago
JCJ
1,134220
1,134220
add a comment |Â
add a comment |Â
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