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What is the idiom, expression or proverb for 'If you let them use you once they will use you for life'?
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What is the idiom, expression or proverb for
If you bend once, they will bend you for life.
In Indian culture, we have a saying
"Jithe oli/mau mathi, tithe atti" which literally means "wherever wet/soft ground, there is exploitation." The meaning is wherever people find niceness, kindness, or generosity, people will take advantage of their niceness. That is, if one yields or allows himself to be used then the other party squeezed them to the last drop.
This is usually used in business, like client vs. subcontractor relationship or client vs. service provider relationship or client vs. customer relationship, or in an employer/employee context.
single-word-requests phrases expressions idioms
edited 19 mins ago
Azor Ahai
3,32621333
asked 10 hours ago
AMN
8742518
add a comment |Â
up vote
12
down vote
favorite
What is the idiom, expression or proverb for
If you bend once, they will bend you for life.
In Indian culture, we have a saying
"Jithe oli/mau mathi, tithe atti" which literally means "wherever wet/soft ground, there is exploitation." The meaning is wherever people find niceness, kindness, or generosity, people will take advantage of their niceness. That is, if one yields or allows himself to be used then the other party squeezed them to the last drop.
This is usually used in business, like client vs. subcontractor relationship or client vs. service provider relationship or client vs. customer relationship, or in an employer/employee context.
single-word-requests phrases expressions idioms
edited 19 mins ago
Azor Ahai
3,32621333
asked 10 hours ago
AMN
8742518
Just an FYI to "bend someone (over)" in US English means to "fuck them over" as in you're bending them over the furniture to fuck them. I would advise strongly against approximating the Indian (sorry, I don't know Indian languages by sight) expression with the word "bend" in English in anything but the most casual settings.
– Azor Ahai
24 mins ago
I've also made a few edits to clean up your post. Good question, thanks for including the original. Can you note what language that is?
– Azor Ahai
19 mins ago
add a comment |Â
up vote
12
down vote
favorite
up vote
12
down vote
favorite
What is the idiom, expression or proverb for
If you bend once, they will bend you for life.
In Indian culture, we have a saying
"Jithe oli/mau mathi, tithe atti" which literally means "wherever wet/soft ground, there is exploitation." The meaning is wherever people find niceness, kindness, or generosity, people will take advantage of their niceness. That is, if one yields or allows himself to be used then the other party squeezed them to the last drop.
This is usually used in business, like client vs. subcontractor relationship or client vs. service provider relationship or client vs. customer relationship, or in an employer/employee context.
single-word-requests phrases expressions idioms
edited 19 mins ago
Azor Ahai
3,32621333
asked 10 hours ago
AMN
8742518
What is the idiom, expression or proverb for
If you bend once, they will bend you for life.
In Indian culture, we have a saying
"Jithe oli/mau mathi, tithe atti" which literally means "wherever wet/soft ground, there is exploitation." The meaning is wherever people find niceness, kindness, or generosity, people will take advantage of their niceness. That is, if one yields or allows himself to be used then the other party squeezed them to the last drop.
This is usually used in business, like client vs. subcontractor relationship or client vs. service provider relationship or client vs. customer relationship, or in an employer/employee context.
single-word-requests phrases expressions idioms
single-word-requests phrases expressions idioms
edited 19 mins ago
Azor Ahai
3,32621333
asked 10 hours ago
AMN
8742518
edited 19 mins ago
Azor Ahai
3,32621333
asked 10 hours ago
AMN
8742518
edited 19 mins ago
Azor Ahai
3,32621333
edited 19 mins ago
Azor Ahai
3,32621333
edited 19 mins ago
Azor Ahai
3,32621333
3,32621333
asked 10 hours ago
AMN
8742518
asked 10 hours ago
AMN
8742518
asked 10 hours ago
AMN
8742518
8742518
Just an FYI to "bend someone (over)" in US English means to "fuck them over" as in you're bending them over the furniture to fuck them. I would advise strongly against approximating the Indian (sorry, I don't know Indian languages by sight) expression with the word "bend" in English in anything but the most casual settings.
– Azor Ahai
24 mins ago
I've also made a few edits to clean up your post. Good question, thanks for including the original. Can you note what language that is?
– Azor Ahai
19 mins ago
add a comment |Â
Just an FYI to "bend someone (over)" in US English means to "fuck them over" as in you're bending them over the furniture to fuck them. I would advise strongly against approximating the Indian (sorry, I don't know Indian languages by sight) expression with the word "bend" in English in anything but the most casual settings.
– Azor Ahai
24 mins ago
I've also made a few edits to clean up your post. Good question, thanks for including the original. Can you note what language that is?
– Azor Ahai
19 mins ago
Just an FYI to "bend someone (over)" in US English means to "fuck them over" as in you're bending them over the furniture to fuck them. I would advise strongly against approximating the Indian (sorry, I don't know Indian languages by sight) expression with the word "bend" in English in anything but the most casual settings.
– Azor Ahai
24 mins ago
Just an FYI to "bend someone (over)" in US English means to "fuck them over" as in you're bending them over the furniture to fuck them. I would advise strongly against approximating the Indian (sorry, I don't know Indian languages by sight) expression with the word "bend" in English in anything but the most casual settings.
– Azor Ahai
24 mins ago
I've also made a few edits to clean up your post. Good question, thanks for including the original. Can you note what language that is?
– Azor Ahai
19 mins ago
I've also made a few edits to clean up your post. Good question, thanks for including the original. Can you note what language that is?
– Azor Ahai
19 mins ago
add a comment |Â
8 Answers
8
active
oldest
votes
up vote
6
down vote
accepted
The camel's nose is a metaphor that is sometimes used for this. It is supposedly of Arab origin, but was adopted into English around the mid-19th century, and may in fact be British in origin.
An early example is a fable printed in 1858 in which an Arab miller allows a camel to stick its nose into his bedroom, then other parts of its body, until the camel is entirely inside and refuses to leave. Lydia Sigourney wrote another version, a widely reprinted poem for children, in which the camel enters a shop because the workman does not forbid it at any stage.
This is sometimes pithily stated as "If the camel once gets his nose in the tent, his body will soon follow," or "Beware of the camel's nose."
It's worth noting that this turn of phrase is not as common as some of the less "colorful" options provided in this thread, so it may require some explanation if used.
answered 8 hours ago
Michael Seifert
2,794822
28
I've also never heard of this, so I'm not sure how widespread this is or whether it would be understood when used (especially the "Beware the camel's nose" option).
– Anthony Grist
8 hours ago
8
I've never heard this on the west coast of the US.
– Roger Sinasohn
5 hours ago
I've never heard of this in Canada.
– Ertai87
3 hours ago
I don’t believe these usages in literature ever made it into common usage in any region of English...but I’m not very familiar with African idioms in English speaking countries there...so maybe there?
– CH Buckingham
1 hour ago
I've encountered this concept in books (maybe British ones?), but never in speech (living in Michigan, Ohio, and Washington State).
– ruakh
1 hour ago
add a comment |Â
up vote
77
down vote
Two phrases that are close are:
Give an inch and they will take a mile
e.g. John would not give an inch in the negotiations with the opposition.
to open the floodgates
e.g. The company agreeing to the workers' demands for better pay would open the floodgates to demands by workers in other departments.
edited 9 hours ago
user070221
18.7k851121
answered 10 hours ago
Colm
30114
New contributor
Colm is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
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14
American here: #1 is definitely the phrase I most commonly would use or hear.
– UnhandledExcepSean
8 hours ago
1
British English here - for #1 the most common version I've heard spoken is "give them and inch and they'll take a yard", but that may be regional (SE England).
– Spratty
7 hours ago
8
Your example for #1 doesn’t actually use it? And merely “give an inch†is not necessarily an allusion to someone taking a mile: in your expectation, I would presume that John objected to even the inch, rather than being concerned about them then taking the mile.
– KRyan
7 hours ago
1
@Spratty - It'd have to be more a more specific region than "SE England". I grew up in Kent and I've never heard your version.
– AndyT
7 hours ago
1
@Spratty: perhaps you lot are just nicer. Most Americans would definitely take the whole mile if they had the chance. Not me though. I’d just take a kilometer.
– WGroleau
5 hours ago
 |Â
show 2 more comments
up vote
6
down vote
One other possible saying: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
The connotation here is that you have already been taken advantage of, so now you are less trusting of the other party you use it in regards to. If you are taken advantage of again it's truly your own fault, and you're trying to imply that you won't let that happen.
answered 8 hours ago
Jeff Lambert
26228
The way the title is worded reminds me of how president Bush screwed up this phrase.
– Mazura
4 hours ago
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up vote
4
down vote
While it's not an idiom or proverb, the word precedent encompasses the essence of what you're saying.
any act, decision, or case that serves as a guide or justification for subsequent situations.
The idiom you're describing sounds to me like "bending this once wouldn't be all that bad, but then they will expect us to bend in the future which would be bad." In this case it would specifically be a "bad precedent", and the full phrase that would be used is "Set a bad precedent". For example:
Your mom might not let you stay up late because it would set a bad precedent for future bedtimes. [Source]
answered 8 hours ago
Kamil Drakari
66418
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up vote
4
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A literary reference would be “Dane-geld†by Rudyard Kipling:
...if once you have paid him the Dane-geld
    You never get rid of the Dane.
answered 6 hours ago
Roman Odaisky
1643
Related, but with a different significance. The historical reference is to the tribute paid by early Medieval Anglo-Saxon kings to Vikings. In context, he’s talking about giving in to intimidation and showing that you’re weak and easy to push around. The poem is usually quoted today to argue against a policy of appeasement, not against generosity.
– Davislor
46 mins ago
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up vote
4
down vote
There is a popular children's book called If You Give a Mouse a Cookie that describes how giving in to a greedy party's demands will just result in a cascade of demands -
If you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk.
There is a whole series of books based on this premise (e.g. If You Give a Pig a Pancake), but the first is familiar enough (it was a New York Times Best Seller) that simply saying if you give a mouse a cookie will often illicit an understanding of the unspoken follow-up, meaning that if you cave to unreasonable wishes, your kindness will be met with exploitation.
answered 3 hours ago
BlackThorn
66227
3
I think you meant "elicit" instead of "illicit."
– Kevin
1 hour ago
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up vote
0
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The one I remember is:
"Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me."
which is similar too:
"I may forgive you, but I will never forget."
answered 53 mins ago
Skeptycal
1013
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up vote
0
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I once saw a paper about incrementalism in politics illustrated with a Rube Goldberg cartoon of a someone slipping his foot into a door, kicking a camel that then stuck its nose under a tent, which pushed a ball to start rolling down a slippery slope, into a river that carried it downstream over the falls.
All of those metaphors except the last are about how one thing leads to another. Going over the waterfall is a point of no return, as is Julius Caesar’s “The die is cast.†A more humorous one for how the consequences of our actions are now unavoidable and soon to catch up with us is, “a little pregnant.â€Â
Another related metaphor is that, according to urban legend, if you drop a frog into hot water, it will jump out, but if you heat the water slowly, it won’t notice before it boils to death. James Fallows at The Atlantic has made it a pet cause of his to debunk this myth; it turns out that frogs do hop out of boiling water—unless their brains have been removed.
In the specific context where you’ve done or received an illicit favor, and are now being blackmailed for it, we might say that someone “owns you,†or (more crudely) “has you by the balls.†If someone you thought was your friend betrays you outright, that’s “stabbing you in the back†or “selling you out.†If it’s a relationship where they make you think they’ll return your favors, but they never do, that’s “stringing you along.†If they’re just taking advantage while outwardly maintaining their friendship, they’re “walking all over you.†perhaps “like a carpet,†and someone who gets walked all over is a “doormat.â€Â
answered 40 mins ago
Davislor
1,553212
add a comment |Â
8 Answers
8
active
oldest
votes
8 Answers
8
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
up vote
6
down vote
accepted
The camel's nose is a metaphor that is sometimes used for this. It is supposedly of Arab origin, but was adopted into English around the mid-19th century, and may in fact be British in origin.
An early example is a fable printed in 1858 in which an Arab miller allows a camel to stick its nose into his bedroom, then other parts of its body, until the camel is entirely inside and refuses to leave. Lydia Sigourney wrote another version, a widely reprinted poem for children, in which the camel enters a shop because the workman does not forbid it at any stage.
This is sometimes pithily stated as "If the camel once gets his nose in the tent, his body will soon follow," or "Beware of the camel's nose."
It's worth noting that this turn of phrase is not as common as some of the less "colorful" options provided in this thread, so it may require some explanation if used.
answered 8 hours ago
Michael Seifert
2,794822
28
I've also never heard of this, so I'm not sure how widespread this is or whether it would be understood when used (especially the "Beware the camel's nose" option).
– Anthony Grist
8 hours ago
8
I've never heard this on the west coast of the US.
– Roger Sinasohn
5 hours ago
I've never heard of this in Canada.
– Ertai87
3 hours ago
I don’t believe these usages in literature ever made it into common usage in any region of English...but I’m not very familiar with African idioms in English speaking countries there...so maybe there?
– CH Buckingham
1 hour ago
I've encountered this concept in books (maybe British ones?), but never in speech (living in Michigan, Ohio, and Washington State).
– ruakh
1 hour ago
add a comment |Â
up vote
6
down vote
accepted
The camel's nose is a metaphor that is sometimes used for this. It is supposedly of Arab origin, but was adopted into English around the mid-19th century, and may in fact be British in origin.
An early example is a fable printed in 1858 in which an Arab miller allows a camel to stick its nose into his bedroom, then other parts of its body, until the camel is entirely inside and refuses to leave. Lydia Sigourney wrote another version, a widely reprinted poem for children, in which the camel enters a shop because the workman does not forbid it at any stage.
This is sometimes pithily stated as "If the camel once gets his nose in the tent, his body will soon follow," or "Beware of the camel's nose."
It's worth noting that this turn of phrase is not as common as some of the less "colorful" options provided in this thread, so it may require some explanation if used.
answered 8 hours ago
Michael Seifert
2,794822
28
I've also never heard of this, so I'm not sure how widespread this is or whether it would be understood when used (especially the "Beware the camel's nose" option).
– Anthony Grist
8 hours ago
8
I've never heard this on the west coast of the US.
– Roger Sinasohn
5 hours ago
I've never heard of this in Canada.
– Ertai87
3 hours ago
I don’t believe these usages in literature ever made it into common usage in any region of English...but I’m not very familiar with African idioms in English speaking countries there...so maybe there?
– CH Buckingham
1 hour ago
I've encountered this concept in books (maybe British ones?), but never in speech (living in Michigan, Ohio, and Washington State).
– ruakh
1 hour ago
add a comment |Â
up vote
6
down vote
accepted
up vote
6
down vote
accepted
The camel's nose is a metaphor that is sometimes used for this. It is supposedly of Arab origin, but was adopted into English around the mid-19th century, and may in fact be British in origin.
An early example is a fable printed in 1858 in which an Arab miller allows a camel to stick its nose into his bedroom, then other parts of its body, until the camel is entirely inside and refuses to leave. Lydia Sigourney wrote another version, a widely reprinted poem for children, in which the camel enters a shop because the workman does not forbid it at any stage.
This is sometimes pithily stated as "If the camel once gets his nose in the tent, his body will soon follow," or "Beware of the camel's nose."
It's worth noting that this turn of phrase is not as common as some of the less "colorful" options provided in this thread, so it may require some explanation if used.
answered 8 hours ago
Michael Seifert
2,794822
The camel's nose is a metaphor that is sometimes used for this. It is supposedly of Arab origin, but was adopted into English around the mid-19th century, and may in fact be British in origin.
An early example is a fable printed in 1858 in which an Arab miller allows a camel to stick its nose into his bedroom, then other parts of its body, until the camel is entirely inside and refuses to leave. Lydia Sigourney wrote another version, a widely reprinted poem for children, in which the camel enters a shop because the workman does not forbid it at any stage.
This is sometimes pithily stated as "If the camel once gets his nose in the tent, his body will soon follow," or "Beware of the camel's nose."
It's worth noting that this turn of phrase is not as common as some of the less "colorful" options provided in this thread, so it may require some explanation if used.
answered 8 hours ago
Michael Seifert
2,794822
edited 5 hours ago
answered 8 hours ago
Michael Seifert
2,794822
answered 8 hours ago
Michael Seifert
2,794822
answered 8 hours ago
Michael Seifert
2,794822
2,794822
28
I've also never heard of this, so I'm not sure how widespread this is or whether it would be understood when used (especially the "Beware the camel's nose" option).
– Anthony Grist
8 hours ago
8
I've never heard this on the west coast of the US.
– Roger Sinasohn
5 hours ago
I've never heard of this in Canada.
– Ertai87
3 hours ago
I don’t believe these usages in literature ever made it into common usage in any region of English...but I’m not very familiar with African idioms in English speaking countries there...so maybe there?
– CH Buckingham
1 hour ago
I've encountered this concept in books (maybe British ones?), but never in speech (living in Michigan, Ohio, and Washington State).
– ruakh
1 hour ago
add a comment |Â
28
I've also never heard of this, so I'm not sure how widespread this is or whether it would be understood when used (especially the "Beware the camel's nose" option).
– Anthony Grist
8 hours ago
8
I've never heard this on the west coast of the US.
– Roger Sinasohn
5 hours ago
I've never heard of this in Canada.
– Ertai87
3 hours ago
I don’t believe these usages in literature ever made it into common usage in any region of English...but I’m not very familiar with African idioms in English speaking countries there...so maybe there?
– CH Buckingham
1 hour ago
I've encountered this concept in books (maybe British ones?), but never in speech (living in Michigan, Ohio, and Washington State).
– ruakh
1 hour ago
28
28
I've also never heard of this, so I'm not sure how widespread this is or whether it would be understood when used (especially the "Beware the camel's nose" option).
– Anthony Grist
8 hours ago
I've also never heard of this, so I'm not sure how widespread this is or whether it would be understood when used (especially the "Beware the camel's nose" option).
– Anthony Grist
8 hours ago
8
8
I've never heard this on the west coast of the US.
– Roger Sinasohn
5 hours ago
I've never heard this on the west coast of the US.
– Roger Sinasohn
5 hours ago
I've never heard of this in Canada.
– Ertai87
3 hours ago
I've never heard of this in Canada.
– Ertai87
3 hours ago
I don’t believe these usages in literature ever made it into common usage in any region of English...but I’m not very familiar with African idioms in English speaking countries there...so maybe there?
– CH Buckingham
1 hour ago
I don’t believe these usages in literature ever made it into common usage in any region of English...but I’m not very familiar with African idioms in English speaking countries there...so maybe there?
– CH Buckingham
1 hour ago
I've encountered this concept in books (maybe British ones?), but never in speech (living in Michigan, Ohio, and Washington State).
– ruakh
1 hour ago
I've encountered this concept in books (maybe British ones?), but never in speech (living in Michigan, Ohio, and Washington State).
– ruakh
1 hour ago
add a comment |Â
up vote
77
down vote
Two phrases that are close are:
Give an inch and they will take a mile
e.g. John would not give an inch in the negotiations with the opposition.
to open the floodgates
e.g. The company agreeing to the workers' demands for better pay would open the floodgates to demands by workers in other departments.
edited 9 hours ago
user070221
18.7k851121
answered 10 hours ago
Colm
30114
New contributor
Colm is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
14
American here: #1 is definitely the phrase I most commonly would use or hear.
– UnhandledExcepSean
8 hours ago
1
British English here - for #1 the most common version I've heard spoken is "give them and inch and they'll take a yard", but that may be regional (SE England).
– Spratty
7 hours ago
8
Your example for #1 doesn’t actually use it? And merely “give an inch†is not necessarily an allusion to someone taking a mile: in your expectation, I would presume that John objected to even the inch, rather than being concerned about them then taking the mile.
– KRyan
7 hours ago
1
@Spratty - It'd have to be more a more specific region than "SE England". I grew up in Kent and I've never heard your version.
– AndyT
7 hours ago
1
@Spratty: perhaps you lot are just nicer. Most Americans would definitely take the whole mile if they had the chance. Not me though. I’d just take a kilometer.
– WGroleau
5 hours ago
 |Â
show 2 more comments
up vote
77
down vote
Two phrases that are close are:
Give an inch and they will take a mile
e.g. John would not give an inch in the negotiations with the opposition.
to open the floodgates
e.g. The company agreeing to the workers' demands for better pay would open the floodgates to demands by workers in other departments.
edited 9 hours ago
user070221
18.7k851121
answered 10 hours ago
Colm
30114
New contributor
Colm is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
14
American here: #1 is definitely the phrase I most commonly would use or hear.
– UnhandledExcepSean
8 hours ago
1
British English here - for #1 the most common version I've heard spoken is "give them and inch and they'll take a yard", but that may be regional (SE England).
– Spratty
7 hours ago
8
Your example for #1 doesn’t actually use it? And merely “give an inch†is not necessarily an allusion to someone taking a mile: in your expectation, I would presume that John objected to even the inch, rather than being concerned about them then taking the mile.
– KRyan
7 hours ago
1
@Spratty - It'd have to be more a more specific region than "SE England". I grew up in Kent and I've never heard your version.
– AndyT
7 hours ago
1
@Spratty: perhaps you lot are just nicer. Most Americans would definitely take the whole mile if they had the chance. Not me though. I’d just take a kilometer.
– WGroleau
5 hours ago
 |Â
show 2 more comments
up vote
77
down vote
up vote
77
down vote
Two phrases that are close are:
Give an inch and they will take a mile
e.g. John would not give an inch in the negotiations with the opposition.
to open the floodgates
e.g. The company agreeing to the workers' demands for better pay would open the floodgates to demands by workers in other departments.
edited 9 hours ago
user070221
18.7k851121
answered 10 hours ago
Colm
30114
New contributor
Colm is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
Two phrases that are close are:
Give an inch and they will take a mile
e.g. John would not give an inch in the negotiations with the opposition.
to open the floodgates
e.g. The company agreeing to the workers' demands for better pay would open the floodgates to demands by workers in other departments.
edited 9 hours ago
user070221
18.7k851121
answered 10 hours ago
Colm
30114
New contributor
Colm is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
edited 9 hours ago
user070221
18.7k851121
edited 9 hours ago
user070221
18.7k851121
edited 9 hours ago
user070221
18.7k851121
18.7k851121
answered 10 hours ago
Colm
30114
New contributor
Colm is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
answered 10 hours ago
Colm
30114
answered 10 hours ago
Colm
30114
30114
New contributor
Colm is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
New contributor
Colm is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
Colm is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
14
American here: #1 is definitely the phrase I most commonly would use or hear.
– UnhandledExcepSean
8 hours ago
1
British English here - for #1 the most common version I've heard spoken is "give them and inch and they'll take a yard", but that may be regional (SE England).
– Spratty
7 hours ago
8
Your example for #1 doesn’t actually use it? And merely “give an inch†is not necessarily an allusion to someone taking a mile: in your expectation, I would presume that John objected to even the inch, rather than being concerned about them then taking the mile.
– KRyan
7 hours ago
1
@Spratty - It'd have to be more a more specific region than "SE England". I grew up in Kent and I've never heard your version.
– AndyT
7 hours ago
1
@Spratty: perhaps you lot are just nicer. Most Americans would definitely take the whole mile if they had the chance. Not me though. I’d just take a kilometer.
– WGroleau
5 hours ago
 |Â
show 2 more comments
14
American here: #1 is definitely the phrase I most commonly would use or hear.
– UnhandledExcepSean
8 hours ago
1
British English here - for #1 the most common version I've heard spoken is "give them and inch and they'll take a yard", but that may be regional (SE England).
– Spratty
7 hours ago
8
Your example for #1 doesn’t actually use it? And merely “give an inch†is not necessarily an allusion to someone taking a mile: in your expectation, I would presume that John objected to even the inch, rather than being concerned about them then taking the mile.
– KRyan
7 hours ago
1
@Spratty - It'd have to be more a more specific region than "SE England". I grew up in Kent and I've never heard your version.
– AndyT
7 hours ago
1
@Spratty: perhaps you lot are just nicer. Most Americans would definitely take the whole mile if they had the chance. Not me though. I’d just take a kilometer.
– WGroleau
5 hours ago
14
14
American here: #1 is definitely the phrase I most commonly would use or hear.
– UnhandledExcepSean
8 hours ago
American here: #1 is definitely the phrase I most commonly would use or hear.
– UnhandledExcepSean
8 hours ago
1
1
British English here - for #1 the most common version I've heard spoken is "give them and inch and they'll take a yard", but that may be regional (SE England).
– Spratty
7 hours ago
British English here - for #1 the most common version I've heard spoken is "give them and inch and they'll take a yard", but that may be regional (SE England).
– Spratty
7 hours ago
8
8
Your example for #1 doesn’t actually use it? And merely “give an inch†is not necessarily an allusion to someone taking a mile: in your expectation, I would presume that John objected to even the inch, rather than being concerned about them then taking the mile.
– KRyan
7 hours ago
Your example for #1 doesn’t actually use it? And merely “give an inch†is not necessarily an allusion to someone taking a mile: in your expectation, I would presume that John objected to even the inch, rather than being concerned about them then taking the mile.
– KRyan
7 hours ago
1
1
@Spratty - It'd have to be more a more specific region than "SE England". I grew up in Kent and I've never heard your version.
– AndyT
7 hours ago
@Spratty - It'd have to be more a more specific region than "SE England". I grew up in Kent and I've never heard your version.
– AndyT
7 hours ago
1
1
@Spratty: perhaps you lot are just nicer. Most Americans would definitely take the whole mile if they had the chance. Not me though. I’d just take a kilometer.
– WGroleau
5 hours ago
@Spratty: perhaps you lot are just nicer. Most Americans would definitely take the whole mile if they had the chance. Not me though. I’d just take a kilometer.
– WGroleau
5 hours ago
 |Â
show 2 more comments
up vote
6
down vote
One other possible saying: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
The connotation here is that you have already been taken advantage of, so now you are less trusting of the other party you use it in regards to. If you are taken advantage of again it's truly your own fault, and you're trying to imply that you won't let that happen.
answered 8 hours ago
Jeff Lambert
26228
The way the title is worded reminds me of how president Bush screwed up this phrase.
– Mazura
4 hours ago
add a comment |Â
up vote
6
down vote
One other possible saying: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
The connotation here is that you have already been taken advantage of, so now you are less trusting of the other party you use it in regards to. If you are taken advantage of again it's truly your own fault, and you're trying to imply that you won't let that happen.
answered 8 hours ago
Jeff Lambert
26228
The way the title is worded reminds me of how president Bush screwed up this phrase.
– Mazura
4 hours ago
add a comment |Â
up vote
6
down vote
up vote
6
down vote
One other possible saying: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
The connotation here is that you have already been taken advantage of, so now you are less trusting of the other party you use it in regards to. If you are taken advantage of again it's truly your own fault, and you're trying to imply that you won't let that happen.
answered 8 hours ago
Jeff Lambert
26228
One other possible saying: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
The connotation here is that you have already been taken advantage of, so now you are less trusting of the other party you use it in regards to. If you are taken advantage of again it's truly your own fault, and you're trying to imply that you won't let that happen.
answered 8 hours ago
Jeff Lambert
26228
answered 8 hours ago
Jeff Lambert
26228
answered 8 hours ago
Jeff Lambert
26228
answered 8 hours ago
Jeff Lambert
26228
26228
The way the title is worded reminds me of how president Bush screwed up this phrase.
– Mazura
4 hours ago
add a comment |Â
The way the title is worded reminds me of how president Bush screwed up this phrase.
– Mazura
4 hours ago
The way the title is worded reminds me of how president Bush screwed up this phrase.
– Mazura
4 hours ago
The way the title is worded reminds me of how president Bush screwed up this phrase.
– Mazura
4 hours ago
add a comment |Â
up vote
4
down vote
While it's not an idiom or proverb, the word precedent encompasses the essence of what you're saying.
any act, decision, or case that serves as a guide or justification for subsequent situations.
The idiom you're describing sounds to me like "bending this once wouldn't be all that bad, but then they will expect us to bend in the future which would be bad." In this case it would specifically be a "bad precedent", and the full phrase that would be used is "Set a bad precedent". For example:
Your mom might not let you stay up late because it would set a bad precedent for future bedtimes. [Source]
answered 8 hours ago
Kamil Drakari
66418
add a comment |Â
up vote
4
down vote
While it's not an idiom or proverb, the word precedent encompasses the essence of what you're saying.
any act, decision, or case that serves as a guide or justification for subsequent situations.
The idiom you're describing sounds to me like "bending this once wouldn't be all that bad, but then they will expect us to bend in the future which would be bad." In this case it would specifically be a "bad precedent", and the full phrase that would be used is "Set a bad precedent". For example:
Your mom might not let you stay up late because it would set a bad precedent for future bedtimes. [Source]
answered 8 hours ago
Kamil Drakari
66418
add a comment |Â
up vote
4
down vote
up vote
4
down vote
While it's not an idiom or proverb, the word precedent encompasses the essence of what you're saying.
any act, decision, or case that serves as a guide or justification for subsequent situations.
The idiom you're describing sounds to me like "bending this once wouldn't be all that bad, but then they will expect us to bend in the future which would be bad." In this case it would specifically be a "bad precedent", and the full phrase that would be used is "Set a bad precedent". For example:
Your mom might not let you stay up late because it would set a bad precedent for future bedtimes. [Source]
answered 8 hours ago
Kamil Drakari
66418
While it's not an idiom or proverb, the word precedent encompasses the essence of what you're saying.
any act, decision, or case that serves as a guide or justification for subsequent situations.
The idiom you're describing sounds to me like "bending this once wouldn't be all that bad, but then they will expect us to bend in the future which would be bad." In this case it would specifically be a "bad precedent", and the full phrase that would be used is "Set a bad precedent". For example:
Your mom might not let you stay up late because it would set a bad precedent for future bedtimes. [Source]
answered 8 hours ago
Kamil Drakari
66418
answered 8 hours ago
Kamil Drakari
66418
answered 8 hours ago
Kamil Drakari
66418
answered 8 hours ago
Kamil Drakari
66418
66418
add a comment |Â
add a comment |Â
up vote
4
down vote
A literary reference would be “Dane-geld†by Rudyard Kipling:
...if once you have paid him the Dane-geld
    You never get rid of the Dane.
answered 6 hours ago
Roman Odaisky
1643
Related, but with a different significance. The historical reference is to the tribute paid by early Medieval Anglo-Saxon kings to Vikings. In context, he’s talking about giving in to intimidation and showing that you’re weak and easy to push around. The poem is usually quoted today to argue against a policy of appeasement, not against generosity.
– Davislor
46 mins ago
add a comment |Â
up vote
4
down vote
A literary reference would be “Dane-geld†by Rudyard Kipling:
...if once you have paid him the Dane-geld
    You never get rid of the Dane.
answered 6 hours ago
Roman Odaisky
1643
Related, but with a different significance. The historical reference is to the tribute paid by early Medieval Anglo-Saxon kings to Vikings. In context, he’s talking about giving in to intimidation and showing that you’re weak and easy to push around. The poem is usually quoted today to argue against a policy of appeasement, not against generosity.
– Davislor
46 mins ago
add a comment |Â
up vote
4
down vote
up vote
4
down vote
A literary reference would be “Dane-geld†by Rudyard Kipling:
...if once you have paid him the Dane-geld
    You never get rid of the Dane.
answered 6 hours ago
Roman Odaisky
1643
A literary reference would be “Dane-geld†by Rudyard Kipling:
...if once you have paid him the Dane-geld
    You never get rid of the Dane.
answered 6 hours ago
Roman Odaisky
1643
answered 6 hours ago
Roman Odaisky
1643
answered 6 hours ago
Roman Odaisky
1643
answered 6 hours ago
Roman Odaisky
1643
1643
Related, but with a different significance. The historical reference is to the tribute paid by early Medieval Anglo-Saxon kings to Vikings. In context, he’s talking about giving in to intimidation and showing that you’re weak and easy to push around. The poem is usually quoted today to argue against a policy of appeasement, not against generosity.
– Davislor
46 mins ago
add a comment |Â
Related, but with a different significance. The historical reference is to the tribute paid by early Medieval Anglo-Saxon kings to Vikings. In context, he’s talking about giving in to intimidation and showing that you’re weak and easy to push around. The poem is usually quoted today to argue against a policy of appeasement, not against generosity.
– Davislor
46 mins ago
Related, but with a different significance. The historical reference is to the tribute paid by early Medieval Anglo-Saxon kings to Vikings. In context, he’s talking about giving in to intimidation and showing that you’re weak and easy to push around. The poem is usually quoted today to argue against a policy of appeasement, not against generosity.
– Davislor
46 mins ago
Related, but with a different significance. The historical reference is to the tribute paid by early Medieval Anglo-Saxon kings to Vikings. In context, he’s talking about giving in to intimidation and showing that you’re weak and easy to push around. The poem is usually quoted today to argue against a policy of appeasement, not against generosity.
– Davislor
46 mins ago
add a comment |Â
up vote
4
down vote
There is a popular children's book called If You Give a Mouse a Cookie that describes how giving in to a greedy party's demands will just result in a cascade of demands -
If you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk.
There is a whole series of books based on this premise (e.g. If You Give a Pig a Pancake), but the first is familiar enough (it was a New York Times Best Seller) that simply saying if you give a mouse a cookie will often illicit an understanding of the unspoken follow-up, meaning that if you cave to unreasonable wishes, your kindness will be met with exploitation.
answered 3 hours ago
BlackThorn
66227
3
I think you meant "elicit" instead of "illicit."
– Kevin
1 hour ago
add a comment |Â
up vote
4
down vote
There is a popular children's book called If You Give a Mouse a Cookie that describes how giving in to a greedy party's demands will just result in a cascade of demands -
If you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk.
There is a whole series of books based on this premise (e.g. If You Give a Pig a Pancake), but the first is familiar enough (it was a New York Times Best Seller) that simply saying if you give a mouse a cookie will often illicit an understanding of the unspoken follow-up, meaning that if you cave to unreasonable wishes, your kindness will be met with exploitation.
answered 3 hours ago
BlackThorn
66227
3
I think you meant "elicit" instead of "illicit."
– Kevin
1 hour ago
add a comment |Â
up vote
4
down vote
up vote
4
down vote
There is a popular children's book called If You Give a Mouse a Cookie that describes how giving in to a greedy party's demands will just result in a cascade of demands -
If you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk.
There is a whole series of books based on this premise (e.g. If You Give a Pig a Pancake), but the first is familiar enough (it was a New York Times Best Seller) that simply saying if you give a mouse a cookie will often illicit an understanding of the unspoken follow-up, meaning that if you cave to unreasonable wishes, your kindness will be met with exploitation.
answered 3 hours ago
BlackThorn
66227
There is a popular children's book called If You Give a Mouse a Cookie that describes how giving in to a greedy party's demands will just result in a cascade of demands -
If you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk.
There is a whole series of books based on this premise (e.g. If You Give a Pig a Pancake), but the first is familiar enough (it was a New York Times Best Seller) that simply saying if you give a mouse a cookie will often illicit an understanding of the unspoken follow-up, meaning that if you cave to unreasonable wishes, your kindness will be met with exploitation.
answered 3 hours ago
BlackThorn
66227
answered 3 hours ago
BlackThorn
66227
answered 3 hours ago
BlackThorn
66227
answered 3 hours ago
BlackThorn
66227
66227
3
I think you meant "elicit" instead of "illicit."
– Kevin
1 hour ago
add a comment |Â
3
I think you meant "elicit" instead of "illicit."
– Kevin
1 hour ago
3
3
I think you meant "elicit" instead of "illicit."
– Kevin
1 hour ago
I think you meant "elicit" instead of "illicit."
– Kevin
1 hour ago
add a comment |Â
up vote
0
down vote
The one I remember is:
"Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me."
which is similar too:
"I may forgive you, but I will never forget."
answered 53 mins ago
Skeptycal
1013
New contributor
Skeptycal is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
add a comment |Â
up vote
0
down vote
The one I remember is:
"Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me."
which is similar too:
"I may forgive you, but I will never forget."
answered 53 mins ago
Skeptycal
1013
New contributor
Skeptycal is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
add a comment |Â
up vote
0
down vote
up vote
0
down vote
The one I remember is:
"Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me."
which is similar too:
"I may forgive you, but I will never forget."
answered 53 mins ago
Skeptycal
1013
New contributor
Skeptycal is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
The one I remember is:
"Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me."
which is similar too:
"I may forgive you, but I will never forget."
answered 53 mins ago
Skeptycal
1013
New contributor
Skeptycal is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
answered 53 mins ago
Skeptycal
1013
New contributor
Skeptycal is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
answered 53 mins ago
Skeptycal
1013
answered 53 mins ago
Skeptycal
1013
1013
New contributor
Skeptycal is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
New contributor
Skeptycal is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
Skeptycal is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
add a comment |Â
add a comment |Â
up vote
0
down vote
I once saw a paper about incrementalism in politics illustrated with a Rube Goldberg cartoon of a someone slipping his foot into a door, kicking a camel that then stuck its nose under a tent, which pushed a ball to start rolling down a slippery slope, into a river that carried it downstream over the falls.
All of those metaphors except the last are about how one thing leads to another. Going over the waterfall is a point of no return, as is Julius Caesar’s “The die is cast.†A more humorous one for how the consequences of our actions are now unavoidable and soon to catch up with us is, “a little pregnant.â€Â
Another related metaphor is that, according to urban legend, if you drop a frog into hot water, it will jump out, but if you heat the water slowly, it won’t notice before it boils to death. James Fallows at The Atlantic has made it a pet cause of his to debunk this myth; it turns out that frogs do hop out of boiling water—unless their brains have been removed.
In the specific context where you’ve done or received an illicit favor, and are now being blackmailed for it, we might say that someone “owns you,†or (more crudely) “has you by the balls.†If someone you thought was your friend betrays you outright, that’s “stabbing you in the back†or “selling you out.†If it’s a relationship where they make you think they’ll return your favors, but they never do, that’s “stringing you along.†If they’re just taking advantage while outwardly maintaining their friendship, they’re “walking all over you.†perhaps “like a carpet,†and someone who gets walked all over is a “doormat.â€Â
answered 40 mins ago
Davislor
1,553212
add a comment |Â
up vote
0
down vote
I once saw a paper about incrementalism in politics illustrated with a Rube Goldberg cartoon of a someone slipping his foot into a door, kicking a camel that then stuck its nose under a tent, which pushed a ball to start rolling down a slippery slope, into a river that carried it downstream over the falls.
All of those metaphors except the last are about how one thing leads to another. Going over the waterfall is a point of no return, as is Julius Caesar’s “The die is cast.†A more humorous one for how the consequences of our actions are now unavoidable and soon to catch up with us is, “a little pregnant.â€Â
Another related metaphor is that, according to urban legend, if you drop a frog into hot water, it will jump out, but if you heat the water slowly, it won’t notice before it boils to death. James Fallows at The Atlantic has made it a pet cause of his to debunk this myth; it turns out that frogs do hop out of boiling water—unless their brains have been removed.
In the specific context where you’ve done or received an illicit favor, and are now being blackmailed for it, we might say that someone “owns you,†or (more crudely) “has you by the balls.†If someone you thought was your friend betrays you outright, that’s “stabbing you in the back†or “selling you out.†If it’s a relationship where they make you think they’ll return your favors, but they never do, that’s “stringing you along.†If they’re just taking advantage while outwardly maintaining their friendship, they’re “walking all over you.†perhaps “like a carpet,†and someone who gets walked all over is a “doormat.â€Â
answered 40 mins ago
Davislor
1,553212
add a comment |Â
up vote
0
down vote
up vote
0
down vote
I once saw a paper about incrementalism in politics illustrated with a Rube Goldberg cartoon of a someone slipping his foot into a door, kicking a camel that then stuck its nose under a tent, which pushed a ball to start rolling down a slippery slope, into a river that carried it downstream over the falls.
All of those metaphors except the last are about how one thing leads to another. Going over the waterfall is a point of no return, as is Julius Caesar’s “The die is cast.†A more humorous one for how the consequences of our actions are now unavoidable and soon to catch up with us is, “a little pregnant.â€Â
Another related metaphor is that, according to urban legend, if you drop a frog into hot water, it will jump out, but if you heat the water slowly, it won’t notice before it boils to death. James Fallows at The Atlantic has made it a pet cause of his to debunk this myth; it turns out that frogs do hop out of boiling water—unless their brains have been removed.
In the specific context where you’ve done or received an illicit favor, and are now being blackmailed for it, we might say that someone “owns you,†or (more crudely) “has you by the balls.†If someone you thought was your friend betrays you outright, that’s “stabbing you in the back†or “selling you out.†If it’s a relationship where they make you think they’ll return your favors, but they never do, that’s “stringing you along.†If they’re just taking advantage while outwardly maintaining their friendship, they’re “walking all over you.†perhaps “like a carpet,†and someone who gets walked all over is a “doormat.â€Â
answered 40 mins ago
Davislor
1,553212
I once saw a paper about incrementalism in politics illustrated with a Rube Goldberg cartoon of a someone slipping his foot into a door, kicking a camel that then stuck its nose under a tent, which pushed a ball to start rolling down a slippery slope, into a river that carried it downstream over the falls.
All of those metaphors except the last are about how one thing leads to another. Going over the waterfall is a point of no return, as is Julius Caesar’s “The die is cast.†A more humorous one for how the consequences of our actions are now unavoidable and soon to catch up with us is, “a little pregnant.â€Â
Another related metaphor is that, according to urban legend, if you drop a frog into hot water, it will jump out, but if you heat the water slowly, it won’t notice before it boils to death. James Fallows at The Atlantic has made it a pet cause of his to debunk this myth; it turns out that frogs do hop out of boiling water—unless their brains have been removed.
In the specific context where you’ve done or received an illicit favor, and are now being blackmailed for it, we might say that someone “owns you,†or (more crudely) “has you by the balls.†If someone you thought was your friend betrays you outright, that’s “stabbing you in the back†or “selling you out.†If it’s a relationship where they make you think they’ll return your favors, but they never do, that’s “stringing you along.†If they’re just taking advantage while outwardly maintaining their friendship, they’re “walking all over you.†perhaps “like a carpet,†and someone who gets walked all over is a “doormat.â€Â
answered 40 mins ago
Davislor
1,553212
edited 21 mins ago
answered 40 mins ago
Davislor
1,553212
answered 40 mins ago
Davislor
1,553212
answered 40 mins ago
Davislor
1,553212
1,553212
add a comment |Â
add a comment |Â
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Just an FYI to "bend someone (over)" in US English means to "fuck them over" as in you're bending them over the furniture to fuck them. I would advise strongly against approximating the Indian (sorry, I don't know Indian languages by sight) expression with the word "bend" in English in anything but the most casual settings.
– Azor Ahai
24 mins ago
I've also made a few edits to clean up your post. Good question, thanks for including the original. Can you note what language that is?
– Azor Ahai
19 mins ago