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Unable to perform due to grief that would be trivial to others
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I'm a little ashamed to ask this question, but I ask it to improve myself and do the best thing in this situation.
My problem is that I always have a hard time dealing with a breakup. The worst part is that it just lasted 2 months and I know and feel that I should not be this devestated from this. I think part of it is that before this I had a relationship that lasted 2.5 years and I was not completely over it yet when starting the last one. Also I really hate getting home alone every day and having no one to talk to. But I just reported it to the police and the very next day I just went on as usual. I would like to tell this because I feel like there is something wrong with me for being such a wreck for something that wouldn't affect other people as much as it does to me.
Side note: It is strange that I'm this affected by this. Months ago I was beaten up by 6 strangers for just walking on the street with a friend who is gay and found that enough reason to call names, stand around us and give me a black eye.
But I
I normally perform quite well at work (as a software developer) and I'm even nominated to be promoted to lead developer soon. Which is nice. I'm not the fastest developer, but often I can come up with a pretty good architecture for a problem that solves a problem in the long run. So I try to enjoy that part of my life which is going well.
I feel very lost at work at the moment, tired, in need of a vacation which I did not have in 2 years, more often than I like still sad. Nobody in the company is on my tail or monitoring my performance so close that they notice this. But I notice.
However if I take of now, I would have to go on vacation alone because my closest friends went with their respective girlfriends just a month ago. Going alone is something I do not feel myself comfortable with. Sitting at home alone isn't going to help me either I fear.
I very much want to perform as well as I can. I started going to the gym again. Also started smoking again, which I know is bad. I wonder if I should see a psychologist, however I do not prefer to do that.
I would like some suggestions how I can get back on track as fast as possible.
performance personal-problems
asked 4 mins ago
anon
1013
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I'm a little ashamed to ask this question, but I ask it to improve myself and do the best thing in this situation.
My problem is that I always have a hard time dealing with a breakup. The worst part is that it just lasted 2 months and I know and feel that I should not be this devestated from this. I think part of it is that before this I had a relationship that lasted 2.5 years and I was not completely over it yet when starting the last one. Also I really hate getting home alone every day and having no one to talk to. But I just reported it to the police and the very next day I just went on as usual. I would like to tell this because I feel like there is something wrong with me for being such a wreck for something that wouldn't affect other people as much as it does to me.
Side note: It is strange that I'm this affected by this. Months ago I was beaten up by 6 strangers for just walking on the street with a friend who is gay and found that enough reason to call names, stand around us and give me a black eye.
But I
I normally perform quite well at work (as a software developer) and I'm even nominated to be promoted to lead developer soon. Which is nice. I'm not the fastest developer, but often I can come up with a pretty good architecture for a problem that solves a problem in the long run. So I try to enjoy that part of my life which is going well.
I feel very lost at work at the moment, tired, in need of a vacation which I did not have in 2 years, more often than I like still sad. Nobody in the company is on my tail or monitoring my performance so close that they notice this. But I notice.
However if I take of now, I would have to go on vacation alone because my closest friends went with their respective girlfriends just a month ago. Going alone is something I do not feel myself comfortable with. Sitting at home alone isn't going to help me either I fear.
I very much want to perform as well as I can. I started going to the gym again. Also started smoking again, which I know is bad. I wonder if I should see a psychologist, however I do not prefer to do that.
I would like some suggestions how I can get back on track as fast as possible.
performance personal-problems
asked 4 mins ago
anon
1013
New contributor
anon is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
1
"I wonder if I should see a psychologist, however I do not prefer to do that." Yes, end of discussion.
– Philip Kendall
2 mins ago
I really do empathise with your situation - it's certainly a horrible place to be. That being said, I'm afraid I'm of the opinion the only advice anyone can really give you here is to see a medical professional and talk through what's going on, and ask them for advice; it's therefore not a great fit for this site as it's currently phrased.
– berry120
41 secs ago
add a comment |Â
up vote
0
down vote
favorite
up vote
0
down vote
favorite
I'm a little ashamed to ask this question, but I ask it to improve myself and do the best thing in this situation.
My problem is that I always have a hard time dealing with a breakup. The worst part is that it just lasted 2 months and I know and feel that I should not be this devestated from this. I think part of it is that before this I had a relationship that lasted 2.5 years and I was not completely over it yet when starting the last one. Also I really hate getting home alone every day and having no one to talk to. But I just reported it to the police and the very next day I just went on as usual. I would like to tell this because I feel like there is something wrong with me for being such a wreck for something that wouldn't affect other people as much as it does to me.
Side note: It is strange that I'm this affected by this. Months ago I was beaten up by 6 strangers for just walking on the street with a friend who is gay and found that enough reason to call names, stand around us and give me a black eye.
But I
I normally perform quite well at work (as a software developer) and I'm even nominated to be promoted to lead developer soon. Which is nice. I'm not the fastest developer, but often I can come up with a pretty good architecture for a problem that solves a problem in the long run. So I try to enjoy that part of my life which is going well.
I feel very lost at work at the moment, tired, in need of a vacation which I did not have in 2 years, more often than I like still sad. Nobody in the company is on my tail or monitoring my performance so close that they notice this. But I notice.
However if I take of now, I would have to go on vacation alone because my closest friends went with their respective girlfriends just a month ago. Going alone is something I do not feel myself comfortable with. Sitting at home alone isn't going to help me either I fear.
I very much want to perform as well as I can. I started going to the gym again. Also started smoking again, which I know is bad. I wonder if I should see a psychologist, however I do not prefer to do that.
I would like some suggestions how I can get back on track as fast as possible.
performance personal-problems
asked 4 mins ago
anon
1013
New contributor
anon is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
I'm a little ashamed to ask this question, but I ask it to improve myself and do the best thing in this situation.
My problem is that I always have a hard time dealing with a breakup. The worst part is that it just lasted 2 months and I know and feel that I should not be this devestated from this. I think part of it is that before this I had a relationship that lasted 2.5 years and I was not completely over it yet when starting the last one. Also I really hate getting home alone every day and having no one to talk to. But I just reported it to the police and the very next day I just went on as usual. I would like to tell this because I feel like there is something wrong with me for being such a wreck for something that wouldn't affect other people as much as it does to me.
Side note: It is strange that I'm this affected by this. Months ago I was beaten up by 6 strangers for just walking on the street with a friend who is gay and found that enough reason to call names, stand around us and give me a black eye.
But I
I normally perform quite well at work (as a software developer) and I'm even nominated to be promoted to lead developer soon. Which is nice. I'm not the fastest developer, but often I can come up with a pretty good architecture for a problem that solves a problem in the long run. So I try to enjoy that part of my life which is going well.
I feel very lost at work at the moment, tired, in need of a vacation which I did not have in 2 years, more often than I like still sad. Nobody in the company is on my tail or monitoring my performance so close that they notice this. But I notice.
However if I take of now, I would have to go on vacation alone because my closest friends went with their respective girlfriends just a month ago. Going alone is something I do not feel myself comfortable with. Sitting at home alone isn't going to help me either I fear.
I very much want to perform as well as I can. I started going to the gym again. Also started smoking again, which I know is bad. I wonder if I should see a psychologist, however I do not prefer to do that.
I would like some suggestions how I can get back on track as fast as possible.
performance personal-problems
performance personal-problems
asked 4 mins ago
anon
1013
New contributor
anon is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
asked 4 mins ago
anon
1013
New contributor
anon is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
asked 4 mins ago
anon
1013
New contributor
anon is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
asked 4 mins ago
anon
1013
asked 4 mins ago
anon
1013
1013
New contributor
anon is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
New contributor
anon is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
anon is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
1
"I wonder if I should see a psychologist, however I do not prefer to do that." Yes, end of discussion.
– Philip Kendall
2 mins ago
I really do empathise with your situation - it's certainly a horrible place to be. That being said, I'm afraid I'm of the opinion the only advice anyone can really give you here is to see a medical professional and talk through what's going on, and ask them for advice; it's therefore not a great fit for this site as it's currently phrased.
– berry120
41 secs ago
add a comment |Â
1
"I wonder if I should see a psychologist, however I do not prefer to do that." Yes, end of discussion.
– Philip Kendall
2 mins ago
I really do empathise with your situation - it's certainly a horrible place to be. That being said, I'm afraid I'm of the opinion the only advice anyone can really give you here is to see a medical professional and talk through what's going on, and ask them for advice; it's therefore not a great fit for this site as it's currently phrased.
– berry120
41 secs ago
1
1
"I wonder if I should see a psychologist, however I do not prefer to do that." Yes, end of discussion.
– Philip Kendall
2 mins ago
"I wonder if I should see a psychologist, however I do not prefer to do that." Yes, end of discussion.
– Philip Kendall
2 mins ago
I really do empathise with your situation - it's certainly a horrible place to be. That being said, I'm afraid I'm of the opinion the only advice anyone can really give you here is to see a medical professional and talk through what's going on, and ask them for advice; it's therefore not a great fit for this site as it's currently phrased.
– berry120
41 secs ago
I really do empathise with your situation - it's certainly a horrible place to be. That being said, I'm afraid I'm of the opinion the only advice anyone can really give you here is to see a medical professional and talk through what's going on, and ask them for advice; it's therefore not a great fit for this site as it's currently phrased.
– berry120
41 secs ago
add a comment |Â
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anon is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
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1
"I wonder if I should see a psychologist, however I do not prefer to do that." Yes, end of discussion.
– Philip Kendall
2 mins ago
I really do empathise with your situation - it's certainly a horrible place to be. That being said, I'm afraid I'm of the opinion the only advice anyone can really give you here is to see a medical professional and talk through what's going on, and ask them for advice; it's therefore not a great fit for this site as it's currently phrased.
– berry120
41 secs ago