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How do I get someone to do something that they don’t want to do as they disrespect me?
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I ask a colleague at work, to do a task, which is a 5 minute task, which is her role.
I send an email. And no reply. I go up to the person’s desk, and they totally dismiss the request,..., saying that they’re too busy now they’ll do it later. But, the tone of voice and dismissive nature, is enough, to say: “I completely disrespect you, and simply will not do this task for you.
I then send an email cc’ing the person’s manager: just politely saying:...., “just following up on this request.â€Â
I walk past the colleagues desk, and overhear her saying that she will deliberately not reply to the email,..., to keep me in suspense. It works. I’m in fight or flight mode all day.
Requests made to that person,.., or anyone in their team, are automatically dismissed,..., and I don’t even get a reply,.., until I approach the person’s desk and wait for them to do the task.
I then get complaints to my manager, pulling me into meeting rooms,..., saying that I have stood over their desk,.., and it’s inappropriate.
Now,..., I have gotten to the point of cc’ing their manager on all requests sent to that team,...,
But,..., due to the amount of times,...; they have complained about my tone of voice,.., or attitude,..., I am extremely passive in my requests to them. The complaints are completely invalid. In each request I have and always have been extremely passive. I feel like I am walking on eggshells, in fear of being pulled into meeting rooms with their manager and my manager, and can never defend myself.
Not too sure how to start to make requests for people to do a five minute task which is their role,...,and actually have them do it.
work-environment
edited 8 mins ago
Twyxz
4,82752049
asked 29 mins ago
user92998
9
New contributor
user92998 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
add a comment |Â
up vote
0
down vote
favorite
I ask a colleague at work, to do a task, which is a 5 minute task, which is her role.
I send an email. And no reply. I go up to the person’s desk, and they totally dismiss the request,..., saying that they’re too busy now they’ll do it later. But, the tone of voice and dismissive nature, is enough, to say: “I completely disrespect you, and simply will not do this task for you.
I then send an email cc’ing the person’s manager: just politely saying:...., “just following up on this request.â€Â
I walk past the colleagues desk, and overhear her saying that she will deliberately not reply to the email,..., to keep me in suspense. It works. I’m in fight or flight mode all day.
Requests made to that person,.., or anyone in their team, are automatically dismissed,..., and I don’t even get a reply,.., until I approach the person’s desk and wait for them to do the task.
I then get complaints to my manager, pulling me into meeting rooms,..., saying that I have stood over their desk,.., and it’s inappropriate.
Now,..., I have gotten to the point of cc’ing their manager on all requests sent to that team,...,
But,..., due to the amount of times,...; they have complained about my tone of voice,.., or attitude,..., I am extremely passive in my requests to them. The complaints are completely invalid. In each request I have and always have been extremely passive. I feel like I am walking on eggshells, in fear of being pulled into meeting rooms with their manager and my manager, and can never defend myself.
Not too sure how to start to make requests for people to do a five minute task which is their role,...,and actually have them do it.
work-environment
edited 8 mins ago
Twyxz
4,82752049
asked 29 mins ago
user92998
9
New contributor
user92998 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
1
"I feel like I am walking on eggshells, in fear of being pulled into meeting rooms with their manager and my manager, and can never defend myself." - why can you never defend yourself?
– Joe Strazzere
15 mins ago
add a comment |Â
up vote
0
down vote
favorite
up vote
0
down vote
favorite
I ask a colleague at work, to do a task, which is a 5 minute task, which is her role.
I send an email. And no reply. I go up to the person’s desk, and they totally dismiss the request,..., saying that they’re too busy now they’ll do it later. But, the tone of voice and dismissive nature, is enough, to say: “I completely disrespect you, and simply will not do this task for you.
I then send an email cc’ing the person’s manager: just politely saying:...., “just following up on this request.â€Â
I walk past the colleagues desk, and overhear her saying that she will deliberately not reply to the email,..., to keep me in suspense. It works. I’m in fight or flight mode all day.
Requests made to that person,.., or anyone in their team, are automatically dismissed,..., and I don’t even get a reply,.., until I approach the person’s desk and wait for them to do the task.
I then get complaints to my manager, pulling me into meeting rooms,..., saying that I have stood over their desk,.., and it’s inappropriate.
Now,..., I have gotten to the point of cc’ing their manager on all requests sent to that team,...,
But,..., due to the amount of times,...; they have complained about my tone of voice,.., or attitude,..., I am extremely passive in my requests to them. The complaints are completely invalid. In each request I have and always have been extremely passive. I feel like I am walking on eggshells, in fear of being pulled into meeting rooms with their manager and my manager, and can never defend myself.
Not too sure how to start to make requests for people to do a five minute task which is their role,...,and actually have them do it.
work-environment
edited 8 mins ago
Twyxz
4,82752049
asked 29 mins ago
user92998
9
New contributor
user92998 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
I ask a colleague at work, to do a task, which is a 5 minute task, which is her role.
I send an email. And no reply. I go up to the person’s desk, and they totally dismiss the request,..., saying that they’re too busy now they’ll do it later. But, the tone of voice and dismissive nature, is enough, to say: “I completely disrespect you, and simply will not do this task for you.
I then send an email cc’ing the person’s manager: just politely saying:...., “just following up on this request.â€Â
I walk past the colleagues desk, and overhear her saying that she will deliberately not reply to the email,..., to keep me in suspense. It works. I’m in fight or flight mode all day.
Requests made to that person,.., or anyone in their team, are automatically dismissed,..., and I don’t even get a reply,.., until I approach the person’s desk and wait for them to do the task.
I then get complaints to my manager, pulling me into meeting rooms,..., saying that I have stood over their desk,.., and it’s inappropriate.
Now,..., I have gotten to the point of cc’ing their manager on all requests sent to that team,...,
But,..., due to the amount of times,...; they have complained about my tone of voice,.., or attitude,..., I am extremely passive in my requests to them. The complaints are completely invalid. In each request I have and always have been extremely passive. I feel like I am walking on eggshells, in fear of being pulled into meeting rooms with their manager and my manager, and can never defend myself.
Not too sure how to start to make requests for people to do a five minute task which is their role,...,and actually have them do it.
work-environment
work-environment
edited 8 mins ago
Twyxz
4,82752049
asked 29 mins ago
user92998
9
New contributor
user92998 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
edited 8 mins ago
Twyxz
4,82752049
asked 29 mins ago
user92998
9
New contributor
user92998 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
edited 8 mins ago
Twyxz
4,82752049
edited 8 mins ago
Twyxz
4,82752049
edited 8 mins ago
Twyxz
4,82752049
4,82752049
asked 29 mins ago
user92998
9
New contributor
user92998 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
asked 29 mins ago
user92998
9
asked 29 mins ago
user92998
9
9
New contributor
user92998 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
New contributor
user92998 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
user92998 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
1
"I feel like I am walking on eggshells, in fear of being pulled into meeting rooms with their manager and my manager, and can never defend myself." - why can you never defend yourself?
– Joe Strazzere
15 mins ago
add a comment |Â
1
"I feel like I am walking on eggshells, in fear of being pulled into meeting rooms with their manager and my manager, and can never defend myself." - why can you never defend yourself?
– Joe Strazzere
15 mins ago
1
1
"I feel like I am walking on eggshells, in fear of being pulled into meeting rooms with their manager and my manager, and can never defend myself." - why can you never defend yourself?
– Joe Strazzere
15 mins ago
"I feel like I am walking on eggshells, in fear of being pulled into meeting rooms with their manager and my manager, and can never defend myself." - why can you never defend yourself?
– Joe Strazzere
15 mins ago
add a comment |Â
3 Answers
3
active
oldest
votes
up vote
3
down vote
You cc'd the wrong person.
It's your managers job role to make sure his/her teams work gets done efficiently. Your manager is the one who should have been cc'd. This ensures that your manager knows what is going on, knows that you're not being aggressive and can therefore defend. Any interaction with their manager should be done by yours, or with yours present. Without it if you do end up in a meeting with both managers, theirs has their version of the story, yours has nothing.
answered 17 mins ago
Kilisi
100k55226393
add a comment |Â
up vote
0
down vote
Maybe cc your boss also.
After 1 day send a polite follow up.
Add a note:
Your boss's name
This is stopping me from completing task X.
After 1 week send a polite follow up.
Same note.
Sounds like you pissed them off in the past and they put you in the dog house.
answered 18 mins ago
paparazzo
33.6k657107
add a comment |Â
up vote
0
down vote
Cut all communication with them and only talk via email. Do not approach their desk. Be as civil as you can whenever you have to talk to them. If they complain that you're not friendly to them, say that you will only talk as much as necessary due to past complaints.
Now, for the email:
CC your manager. This establishes paper trail if the task gets delayed because of them. You can include your deadline as well, phrased as a question
Hello X, I need task Y for my project. Could you please take it up, and do you think it can be done by $time? That is my deadline. Thank you, user92998
If they don't reply within an hour or two, escalate to your manager.
Hello Manager, I sent the attached email but received no response and I fear I might miss my deadline because of it. How should I proceed?
answered 13 mins ago
rath
13.9k84675
add a comment |Â
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3 Answers
3
active
oldest
votes
3 Answers
3
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
up vote
3
down vote
You cc'd the wrong person.
It's your managers job role to make sure his/her teams work gets done efficiently. Your manager is the one who should have been cc'd. This ensures that your manager knows what is going on, knows that you're not being aggressive and can therefore defend. Any interaction with their manager should be done by yours, or with yours present. Without it if you do end up in a meeting with both managers, theirs has their version of the story, yours has nothing.
answered 17 mins ago
Kilisi
100k55226393
add a comment |Â
up vote
3
down vote
You cc'd the wrong person.
It's your managers job role to make sure his/her teams work gets done efficiently. Your manager is the one who should have been cc'd. This ensures that your manager knows what is going on, knows that you're not being aggressive and can therefore defend. Any interaction with their manager should be done by yours, or with yours present. Without it if you do end up in a meeting with both managers, theirs has their version of the story, yours has nothing.
answered 17 mins ago
Kilisi
100k55226393
add a comment |Â
up vote
3
down vote
up vote
3
down vote
You cc'd the wrong person.
It's your managers job role to make sure his/her teams work gets done efficiently. Your manager is the one who should have been cc'd. This ensures that your manager knows what is going on, knows that you're not being aggressive and can therefore defend. Any interaction with their manager should be done by yours, or with yours present. Without it if you do end up in a meeting with both managers, theirs has their version of the story, yours has nothing.
answered 17 mins ago
Kilisi
100k55226393
You cc'd the wrong person.
It's your managers job role to make sure his/her teams work gets done efficiently. Your manager is the one who should have been cc'd. This ensures that your manager knows what is going on, knows that you're not being aggressive and can therefore defend. Any interaction with their manager should be done by yours, or with yours present. Without it if you do end up in a meeting with both managers, theirs has their version of the story, yours has nothing.
answered 17 mins ago
Kilisi
100k55226393
answered 17 mins ago
Kilisi
100k55226393
answered 17 mins ago
Kilisi
100k55226393
answered 17 mins ago
Kilisi
100k55226393
100k55226393
add a comment |Â
add a comment |Â
up vote
0
down vote
Maybe cc your boss also.
After 1 day send a polite follow up.
Add a note:
Your boss's name
This is stopping me from completing task X.
After 1 week send a polite follow up.
Same note.
Sounds like you pissed them off in the past and they put you in the dog house.
answered 18 mins ago
paparazzo
33.6k657107
add a comment |Â
up vote
0
down vote
Maybe cc your boss also.
After 1 day send a polite follow up.
Add a note:
Your boss's name
This is stopping me from completing task X.
After 1 week send a polite follow up.
Same note.
Sounds like you pissed them off in the past and they put you in the dog house.
answered 18 mins ago
paparazzo
33.6k657107
add a comment |Â
up vote
0
down vote
up vote
0
down vote
Maybe cc your boss also.
After 1 day send a polite follow up.
Add a note:
Your boss's name
This is stopping me from completing task X.
After 1 week send a polite follow up.
Same note.
Sounds like you pissed them off in the past and they put you in the dog house.
answered 18 mins ago
paparazzo
33.6k657107
Maybe cc your boss also.
After 1 day send a polite follow up.
Add a note:
Your boss's name
This is stopping me from completing task X.
After 1 week send a polite follow up.
Same note.
Sounds like you pissed them off in the past and they put you in the dog house.
answered 18 mins ago
paparazzo
33.6k657107
answered 18 mins ago
paparazzo
33.6k657107
answered 18 mins ago
paparazzo
33.6k657107
answered 18 mins ago
paparazzo
33.6k657107
33.6k657107
add a comment |Â
add a comment |Â
up vote
0
down vote
Cut all communication with them and only talk via email. Do not approach their desk. Be as civil as you can whenever you have to talk to them. If they complain that you're not friendly to them, say that you will only talk as much as necessary due to past complaints.
Now, for the email:
CC your manager. This establishes paper trail if the task gets delayed because of them. You can include your deadline as well, phrased as a question
Hello X, I need task Y for my project. Could you please take it up, and do you think it can be done by $time? That is my deadline. Thank you, user92998
If they don't reply within an hour or two, escalate to your manager.
Hello Manager, I sent the attached email but received no response and I fear I might miss my deadline because of it. How should I proceed?
answered 13 mins ago
rath
13.9k84675
add a comment |Â
up vote
0
down vote
Cut all communication with them and only talk via email. Do not approach their desk. Be as civil as you can whenever you have to talk to them. If they complain that you're not friendly to them, say that you will only talk as much as necessary due to past complaints.
Now, for the email:
CC your manager. This establishes paper trail if the task gets delayed because of them. You can include your deadline as well, phrased as a question
Hello X, I need task Y for my project. Could you please take it up, and do you think it can be done by $time? That is my deadline. Thank you, user92998
If they don't reply within an hour or two, escalate to your manager.
Hello Manager, I sent the attached email but received no response and I fear I might miss my deadline because of it. How should I proceed?
answered 13 mins ago
rath
13.9k84675
add a comment |Â
up vote
0
down vote
up vote
0
down vote
Cut all communication with them and only talk via email. Do not approach their desk. Be as civil as you can whenever you have to talk to them. If they complain that you're not friendly to them, say that you will only talk as much as necessary due to past complaints.
Now, for the email:
CC your manager. This establishes paper trail if the task gets delayed because of them. You can include your deadline as well, phrased as a question
Hello X, I need task Y for my project. Could you please take it up, and do you think it can be done by $time? That is my deadline. Thank you, user92998
If they don't reply within an hour or two, escalate to your manager.
Hello Manager, I sent the attached email but received no response and I fear I might miss my deadline because of it. How should I proceed?
answered 13 mins ago
rath
13.9k84675
Cut all communication with them and only talk via email. Do not approach their desk. Be as civil as you can whenever you have to talk to them. If they complain that you're not friendly to them, say that you will only talk as much as necessary due to past complaints.
Now, for the email:
CC your manager. This establishes paper trail if the task gets delayed because of them. You can include your deadline as well, phrased as a question
Hello X, I need task Y for my project. Could you please take it up, and do you think it can be done by $time? That is my deadline. Thank you, user92998
If they don't reply within an hour or two, escalate to your manager.
Hello Manager, I sent the attached email but received no response and I fear I might miss my deadline because of it. How should I proceed?
answered 13 mins ago
rath
13.9k84675
answered 13 mins ago
rath
13.9k84675
answered 13 mins ago
rath
13.9k84675
answered 13 mins ago
rath
13.9k84675
13.9k84675
add a comment |Â
add a comment |Â
user92998 is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
user92998 is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
user92998 is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
user92998 is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
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1
"I feel like I am walking on eggshells, in fear of being pulled into meeting rooms with their manager and my manager, and can never defend myself." - why can you never defend yourself?
– Joe Strazzere
15 mins ago