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How do I deal with people that when I ask them something, they tell to others what you told them?
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up vote
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favorite
Dealing with annoying people who likes to tell to others about what you said or asked them
I’m wishing to know, how can I make others to stop telling to others every single thing I tell them.
Here’s a dialog between me and my colleague:
Me: In case you can’t eat any more, can I continue for you? ( Out of taste)
My colleague: No.
My colleague: Look, that boy asked me if he can eat my hamburger.
And then she changed her mind and she granted me hamburger.
I also had an experience similar into this one before.
Is there a way which you can speak to others in such that others won’t need to tell to others about what I told them or asked them? It’s really disrupting me. I wish there would be a way to put an end to this kind of situation.
Like for example, when you see someone eating something, and you feel taste for it, then you want some, how do you ask your colleague in such that it won’t need to tell to others about what you asked?
The reason I asked my colleague about this, is because I felt taste for it to eat, because I wanted to try how does it taste the hamburger from shaorma.
conversations politeness colleagues
asked 3 hours ago
Alex A
1396
add a comment |Â
up vote
1
down vote
favorite
Dealing with annoying people who likes to tell to others about what you said or asked them
I’m wishing to know, how can I make others to stop telling to others every single thing I tell them.
Here’s a dialog between me and my colleague:
Me: In case you can’t eat any more, can I continue for you? ( Out of taste)
My colleague: No.
My colleague: Look, that boy asked me if he can eat my hamburger.
And then she changed her mind and she granted me hamburger.
I also had an experience similar into this one before.
Is there a way which you can speak to others in such that others won’t need to tell to others about what I told them or asked them? It’s really disrupting me. I wish there would be a way to put an end to this kind of situation.
Like for example, when you see someone eating something, and you feel taste for it, then you want some, how do you ask your colleague in such that it won’t need to tell to others about what you asked?
The reason I asked my colleague about this, is because I felt taste for it to eat, because I wanted to try how does it taste the hamburger from shaorma.
conversations politeness colleagues
asked 3 hours ago
Alex A
1396
Adding a country/region tag might be useful, because the culture seems to be relevant.
– QEDemonstrandum
2 hours ago
add a comment |Â
up vote
1
down vote
favorite
up vote
1
down vote
favorite
Dealing with annoying people who likes to tell to others about what you said or asked them
I’m wishing to know, how can I make others to stop telling to others every single thing I tell them.
Here’s a dialog between me and my colleague:
Me: In case you can’t eat any more, can I continue for you? ( Out of taste)
My colleague: No.
My colleague: Look, that boy asked me if he can eat my hamburger.
And then she changed her mind and she granted me hamburger.
I also had an experience similar into this one before.
Is there a way which you can speak to others in such that others won’t need to tell to others about what I told them or asked them? It’s really disrupting me. I wish there would be a way to put an end to this kind of situation.
Like for example, when you see someone eating something, and you feel taste for it, then you want some, how do you ask your colleague in such that it won’t need to tell to others about what you asked?
The reason I asked my colleague about this, is because I felt taste for it to eat, because I wanted to try how does it taste the hamburger from shaorma.
conversations politeness colleagues
asked 3 hours ago
Alex A
1396
Dealing with annoying people who likes to tell to others about what you said or asked them
I’m wishing to know, how can I make others to stop telling to others every single thing I tell them.
Here’s a dialog between me and my colleague:
Me: In case you can’t eat any more, can I continue for you? ( Out of taste)
My colleague: No.
My colleague: Look, that boy asked me if he can eat my hamburger.
And then she changed her mind and she granted me hamburger.
I also had an experience similar into this one before.
Is there a way which you can speak to others in such that others won’t need to tell to others about what I told them or asked them? It’s really disrupting me. I wish there would be a way to put an end to this kind of situation.
Like for example, when you see someone eating something, and you feel taste for it, then you want some, how do you ask your colleague in such that it won’t need to tell to others about what you asked?
The reason I asked my colleague about this, is because I felt taste for it to eat, because I wanted to try how does it taste the hamburger from shaorma.
conversations politeness colleagues
conversations politeness colleagues
asked 3 hours ago
Alex A
1396
asked 3 hours ago
Alex A
1396
edited 3 hours ago
asked 3 hours ago
Alex A
1396
asked 3 hours ago
Alex A
1396
asked 3 hours ago
Alex A
1396
1396
Adding a country/region tag might be useful, because the culture seems to be relevant.
– QEDemonstrandum
2 hours ago
add a comment |Â
Adding a country/region tag might be useful, because the culture seems to be relevant.
– QEDemonstrandum
2 hours ago
Adding a country/region tag might be useful, because the culture seems to be relevant.
– QEDemonstrandum
2 hours ago
Adding a country/region tag might be useful, because the culture seems to be relevant.
– QEDemonstrandum
2 hours ago
add a comment |Â
2 Answers
2
active
oldest
votes
up vote
2
down vote
First of all, you should make the whole thing as coming from their side, not yours.
In your example make her offer you the rest of the hamburger without even asking.
It takes practice and confidence to 'manipulate' someone into doing something you want, but try not to exaggerate.
I have encounter that kind of people in my life and I tried a lot of things to make them stop mocking me whenever I asked them for a small favor. Although when they came to me to ask for something all I did was helping them without making a big fuse.
I am gonna write you down some scenarios to the 'hamburger' situation hopping it will help you in many other cases:
1: Instead of asking her :
In case you can’t eat any more, can I continue for you?
You should say :
I am really curious how it tastes. Maybe next time I will order the
same seeing you eating with such a big appetite. Is it good?
- and try to mean it or act it as you really want to taste, and if she/he is a smart person she'll say :
You can take the rest if you want since I am full.
(instead of throwing the hamburger)
2: Let's say the scenario you've present already took place and you want to solve this issue of her being like that. Say:
Oh, I didn't mean to offend you by asking for the rest, I was just
curious about the taste. Sorry for the misunderstanding!
or if you are good fellas and not just random colleagues, that share no more than few words a day:
Can you say it a bit louder, maybe they didn't hear you! (and laugh)
/
I am looking to combine her, guys! (laugh)
Sometimes turning the situation into something funny, shows a sign of an intelligent person, who has control over any situation. Just be careful, when choosing to be ironic / sarcastic because not everybody understands it and you might end up being creepy or silly.
3: Anyway, if any of the previous cases presented by me, didn't work, try to not look too offended by their act, just tell them straight that your intention was pure and if they want to mock you, they better find something else to do because you won't tolerate that.
I was asking you for that politely, you don't have to make a big fuse
out of that. Sorry for asking you, next time I will think twice before
I all speak my mind.
What you should learn out of what I wrote is that you should not tolerate they mocking you, if it makes you uncomfortable!
And practice the 1 scenario, the one when you push them into offering the favor without even asking. But I mean in small issues like the 'hamburger' case, not work stuff where you end taking advantages.
Best luck!
answered 2 hours ago
Eveleen
414
add a comment |Â
up vote
1
down vote
Your question
Is there a way which you can speak to others in such that others won’t need to tell to others about what I told them or asked them?
Short Answer - You can't totally avoid it.
Explanation
Here, measure issue is the perception of the other member that how he/she interpret your communication. It depends upon trust between one another.
You can't change others but instead you can make changes in your way of communication (I am not saying you are bad in communication). I mean, you can change your way of communication according to atmosphere in your organization.
You are talking about grapevine communication which is unofficial, informal and personal communication that takes place in an organization as a result of gossip and rumor. This type of communication can distort facts and create conflict or misunderstanding. It is very important that you identify them ahead of time. When people don’t have all the facts in hand, they tend to speculate information and create distorted facts.
Focus on
You can focus on following things,
- Focus and understand on the “why†before engaging in communication
to avoid ratholes and side issues - Listen
- Make your message as easy and simple to digest as possible.
- Avoid using words that can be confusing.
- Be clear and direct to the point.
Your Example
In above example you can communicate in following way,
You: If you don't mind, may I taste it? Next time I will tell my mom to prepare same for us
Conclusion
At the end of the day, You can't avoid how they think. Just ignore these things (or if possible make above positive changes in you according to their behavior patterns). This happens in many organizations. you need to concentrate on your work.
answered 2 hours ago
DDD
312113
add a comment |Â
2 Answers
2
active
oldest
votes
2 Answers
2
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
up vote
2
down vote
First of all, you should make the whole thing as coming from their side, not yours.
In your example make her offer you the rest of the hamburger without even asking.
It takes practice and confidence to 'manipulate' someone into doing something you want, but try not to exaggerate.
I have encounter that kind of people in my life and I tried a lot of things to make them stop mocking me whenever I asked them for a small favor. Although when they came to me to ask for something all I did was helping them without making a big fuse.
I am gonna write you down some scenarios to the 'hamburger' situation hopping it will help you in many other cases:
1: Instead of asking her :
In case you can’t eat any more, can I continue for you?
You should say :
I am really curious how it tastes. Maybe next time I will order the
same seeing you eating with such a big appetite. Is it good?
- and try to mean it or act it as you really want to taste, and if she/he is a smart person she'll say :
You can take the rest if you want since I am full.
(instead of throwing the hamburger)
2: Let's say the scenario you've present already took place and you want to solve this issue of her being like that. Say:
Oh, I didn't mean to offend you by asking for the rest, I was just
curious about the taste. Sorry for the misunderstanding!
or if you are good fellas and not just random colleagues, that share no more than few words a day:
Can you say it a bit louder, maybe they didn't hear you! (and laugh)
/
I am looking to combine her, guys! (laugh)
Sometimes turning the situation into something funny, shows a sign of an intelligent person, who has control over any situation. Just be careful, when choosing to be ironic / sarcastic because not everybody understands it and you might end up being creepy or silly.
3: Anyway, if any of the previous cases presented by me, didn't work, try to not look too offended by their act, just tell them straight that your intention was pure and if they want to mock you, they better find something else to do because you won't tolerate that.
I was asking you for that politely, you don't have to make a big fuse
out of that. Sorry for asking you, next time I will think twice before
I all speak my mind.
What you should learn out of what I wrote is that you should not tolerate they mocking you, if it makes you uncomfortable!
And practice the 1 scenario, the one when you push them into offering the favor without even asking. But I mean in small issues like the 'hamburger' case, not work stuff where you end taking advantages.
Best luck!
answered 2 hours ago
Eveleen
414
add a comment |Â
up vote
2
down vote
First of all, you should make the whole thing as coming from their side, not yours.
In your example make her offer you the rest of the hamburger without even asking.
It takes practice and confidence to 'manipulate' someone into doing something you want, but try not to exaggerate.
I have encounter that kind of people in my life and I tried a lot of things to make them stop mocking me whenever I asked them for a small favor. Although when they came to me to ask for something all I did was helping them without making a big fuse.
I am gonna write you down some scenarios to the 'hamburger' situation hopping it will help you in many other cases:
1: Instead of asking her :
In case you can’t eat any more, can I continue for you?
You should say :
I am really curious how it tastes. Maybe next time I will order the
same seeing you eating with such a big appetite. Is it good?
- and try to mean it or act it as you really want to taste, and if she/he is a smart person she'll say :
You can take the rest if you want since I am full.
(instead of throwing the hamburger)
2: Let's say the scenario you've present already took place and you want to solve this issue of her being like that. Say:
Oh, I didn't mean to offend you by asking for the rest, I was just
curious about the taste. Sorry for the misunderstanding!
or if you are good fellas and not just random colleagues, that share no more than few words a day:
Can you say it a bit louder, maybe they didn't hear you! (and laugh)
/
I am looking to combine her, guys! (laugh)
Sometimes turning the situation into something funny, shows a sign of an intelligent person, who has control over any situation. Just be careful, when choosing to be ironic / sarcastic because not everybody understands it and you might end up being creepy or silly.
3: Anyway, if any of the previous cases presented by me, didn't work, try to not look too offended by their act, just tell them straight that your intention was pure and if they want to mock you, they better find something else to do because you won't tolerate that.
I was asking you for that politely, you don't have to make a big fuse
out of that. Sorry for asking you, next time I will think twice before
I all speak my mind.
What you should learn out of what I wrote is that you should not tolerate they mocking you, if it makes you uncomfortable!
And practice the 1 scenario, the one when you push them into offering the favor without even asking. But I mean in small issues like the 'hamburger' case, not work stuff where you end taking advantages.
Best luck!
answered 2 hours ago
Eveleen
414
add a comment |Â
up vote
2
down vote
up vote
2
down vote
First of all, you should make the whole thing as coming from their side, not yours.
In your example make her offer you the rest of the hamburger without even asking.
It takes practice and confidence to 'manipulate' someone into doing something you want, but try not to exaggerate.
I have encounter that kind of people in my life and I tried a lot of things to make them stop mocking me whenever I asked them for a small favor. Although when they came to me to ask for something all I did was helping them without making a big fuse.
I am gonna write you down some scenarios to the 'hamburger' situation hopping it will help you in many other cases:
1: Instead of asking her :
In case you can’t eat any more, can I continue for you?
You should say :
I am really curious how it tastes. Maybe next time I will order the
same seeing you eating with such a big appetite. Is it good?
- and try to mean it or act it as you really want to taste, and if she/he is a smart person she'll say :
You can take the rest if you want since I am full.
(instead of throwing the hamburger)
2: Let's say the scenario you've present already took place and you want to solve this issue of her being like that. Say:
Oh, I didn't mean to offend you by asking for the rest, I was just
curious about the taste. Sorry for the misunderstanding!
or if you are good fellas and not just random colleagues, that share no more than few words a day:
Can you say it a bit louder, maybe they didn't hear you! (and laugh)
/
I am looking to combine her, guys! (laugh)
Sometimes turning the situation into something funny, shows a sign of an intelligent person, who has control over any situation. Just be careful, when choosing to be ironic / sarcastic because not everybody understands it and you might end up being creepy or silly.
3: Anyway, if any of the previous cases presented by me, didn't work, try to not look too offended by their act, just tell them straight that your intention was pure and if they want to mock you, they better find something else to do because you won't tolerate that.
I was asking you for that politely, you don't have to make a big fuse
out of that. Sorry for asking you, next time I will think twice before
I all speak my mind.
What you should learn out of what I wrote is that you should not tolerate they mocking you, if it makes you uncomfortable!
And practice the 1 scenario, the one when you push them into offering the favor without even asking. But I mean in small issues like the 'hamburger' case, not work stuff where you end taking advantages.
Best luck!
answered 2 hours ago
Eveleen
414
First of all, you should make the whole thing as coming from their side, not yours.
In your example make her offer you the rest of the hamburger without even asking.
It takes practice and confidence to 'manipulate' someone into doing something you want, but try not to exaggerate.
I have encounter that kind of people in my life and I tried a lot of things to make them stop mocking me whenever I asked them for a small favor. Although when they came to me to ask for something all I did was helping them without making a big fuse.
I am gonna write you down some scenarios to the 'hamburger' situation hopping it will help you in many other cases:
1: Instead of asking her :
In case you can’t eat any more, can I continue for you?
You should say :
I am really curious how it tastes. Maybe next time I will order the
same seeing you eating with such a big appetite. Is it good?
- and try to mean it or act it as you really want to taste, and if she/he is a smart person she'll say :
You can take the rest if you want since I am full.
(instead of throwing the hamburger)
2: Let's say the scenario you've present already took place and you want to solve this issue of her being like that. Say:
Oh, I didn't mean to offend you by asking for the rest, I was just
curious about the taste. Sorry for the misunderstanding!
or if you are good fellas and not just random colleagues, that share no more than few words a day:
Can you say it a bit louder, maybe they didn't hear you! (and laugh)
/
I am looking to combine her, guys! (laugh)
Sometimes turning the situation into something funny, shows a sign of an intelligent person, who has control over any situation. Just be careful, when choosing to be ironic / sarcastic because not everybody understands it and you might end up being creepy or silly.
3: Anyway, if any of the previous cases presented by me, didn't work, try to not look too offended by their act, just tell them straight that your intention was pure and if they want to mock you, they better find something else to do because you won't tolerate that.
I was asking you for that politely, you don't have to make a big fuse
out of that. Sorry for asking you, next time I will think twice before
I all speak my mind.
What you should learn out of what I wrote is that you should not tolerate they mocking you, if it makes you uncomfortable!
And practice the 1 scenario, the one when you push them into offering the favor without even asking. But I mean in small issues like the 'hamburger' case, not work stuff where you end taking advantages.
Best luck!
answered 2 hours ago
Eveleen
414
edited 1 hour ago
answered 2 hours ago
Eveleen
414
answered 2 hours ago
Eveleen
414
answered 2 hours ago
Eveleen
414
414
add a comment |Â
add a comment |Â
up vote
1
down vote
Your question
Is there a way which you can speak to others in such that others won’t need to tell to others about what I told them or asked them?
Short Answer - You can't totally avoid it.
Explanation
Here, measure issue is the perception of the other member that how he/she interpret your communication. It depends upon trust between one another.
You can't change others but instead you can make changes in your way of communication (I am not saying you are bad in communication). I mean, you can change your way of communication according to atmosphere in your organization.
You are talking about grapevine communication which is unofficial, informal and personal communication that takes place in an organization as a result of gossip and rumor. This type of communication can distort facts and create conflict or misunderstanding. It is very important that you identify them ahead of time. When people don’t have all the facts in hand, they tend to speculate information and create distorted facts.
Focus on
You can focus on following things,
- Focus and understand on the “why†before engaging in communication
to avoid ratholes and side issues - Listen
- Make your message as easy and simple to digest as possible.
- Avoid using words that can be confusing.
- Be clear and direct to the point.
Your Example
In above example you can communicate in following way,
You: If you don't mind, may I taste it? Next time I will tell my mom to prepare same for us
Conclusion
At the end of the day, You can't avoid how they think. Just ignore these things (or if possible make above positive changes in you according to their behavior patterns). This happens in many organizations. you need to concentrate on your work.
answered 2 hours ago
DDD
312113
add a comment |Â
up vote
1
down vote
Your question
Is there a way which you can speak to others in such that others won’t need to tell to others about what I told them or asked them?
Short Answer - You can't totally avoid it.
Explanation
Here, measure issue is the perception of the other member that how he/she interpret your communication. It depends upon trust between one another.
You can't change others but instead you can make changes in your way of communication (I am not saying you are bad in communication). I mean, you can change your way of communication according to atmosphere in your organization.
You are talking about grapevine communication which is unofficial, informal and personal communication that takes place in an organization as a result of gossip and rumor. This type of communication can distort facts and create conflict or misunderstanding. It is very important that you identify them ahead of time. When people don’t have all the facts in hand, they tend to speculate information and create distorted facts.
Focus on
You can focus on following things,
- Focus and understand on the “why†before engaging in communication
to avoid ratholes and side issues - Listen
- Make your message as easy and simple to digest as possible.
- Avoid using words that can be confusing.
- Be clear and direct to the point.
Your Example
In above example you can communicate in following way,
You: If you don't mind, may I taste it? Next time I will tell my mom to prepare same for us
Conclusion
At the end of the day, You can't avoid how they think. Just ignore these things (or if possible make above positive changes in you according to their behavior patterns). This happens in many organizations. you need to concentrate on your work.
answered 2 hours ago
DDD
312113
add a comment |Â
up vote
1
down vote
up vote
1
down vote
Your question
Is there a way which you can speak to others in such that others won’t need to tell to others about what I told them or asked them?
Short Answer - You can't totally avoid it.
Explanation
Here, measure issue is the perception of the other member that how he/she interpret your communication. It depends upon trust between one another.
You can't change others but instead you can make changes in your way of communication (I am not saying you are bad in communication). I mean, you can change your way of communication according to atmosphere in your organization.
You are talking about grapevine communication which is unofficial, informal and personal communication that takes place in an organization as a result of gossip and rumor. This type of communication can distort facts and create conflict or misunderstanding. It is very important that you identify them ahead of time. When people don’t have all the facts in hand, they tend to speculate information and create distorted facts.
Focus on
You can focus on following things,
- Focus and understand on the “why†before engaging in communication
to avoid ratholes and side issues - Listen
- Make your message as easy and simple to digest as possible.
- Avoid using words that can be confusing.
- Be clear and direct to the point.
Your Example
In above example you can communicate in following way,
You: If you don't mind, may I taste it? Next time I will tell my mom to prepare same for us
Conclusion
At the end of the day, You can't avoid how they think. Just ignore these things (or if possible make above positive changes in you according to their behavior patterns). This happens in many organizations. you need to concentrate on your work.
answered 2 hours ago
DDD
312113
Your question
Is there a way which you can speak to others in such that others won’t need to tell to others about what I told them or asked them?
Short Answer - You can't totally avoid it.
Explanation
Here, measure issue is the perception of the other member that how he/she interpret your communication. It depends upon trust between one another.
You can't change others but instead you can make changes in your way of communication (I am not saying you are bad in communication). I mean, you can change your way of communication according to atmosphere in your organization.
You are talking about grapevine communication which is unofficial, informal and personal communication that takes place in an organization as a result of gossip and rumor. This type of communication can distort facts and create conflict or misunderstanding. It is very important that you identify them ahead of time. When people don’t have all the facts in hand, they tend to speculate information and create distorted facts.
Focus on
You can focus on following things,
- Focus and understand on the “why†before engaging in communication
to avoid ratholes and side issues - Listen
- Make your message as easy and simple to digest as possible.
- Avoid using words that can be confusing.
- Be clear and direct to the point.
Your Example
In above example you can communicate in following way,
You: If you don't mind, may I taste it? Next time I will tell my mom to prepare same for us
Conclusion
At the end of the day, You can't avoid how they think. Just ignore these things (or if possible make above positive changes in you according to their behavior patterns). This happens in many organizations. you need to concentrate on your work.
answered 2 hours ago
DDD
312113
edited 29 mins ago
answered 2 hours ago
DDD
312113
answered 2 hours ago
DDD
312113
answered 2 hours ago
DDD
312113
312113
add a comment |Â
add a comment |Â
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Adding a country/region tag might be useful, because the culture seems to be relevant.
– QEDemonstrandum
2 hours ago