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Question

We recently moved into a new office building, and I was put in charge of coordinating a lot of the new office logistics. One of the things I needed to do was to come up with new names for our different conference rooms.

Rather than give a boring, generic name (like the Aspen Room), I decided to turn it into an exciting fundraiser. I said that for every $10 people donated to the Make-a-Wish Foundation, individuals would get a raffle ticket. The winner of the raffle would have the honor of the biggest conference room named after them. (For example, if somebody named James Bond won the raffle, we would name it the Bond Conference Room).

This ended up being a huge success, and our office raised over $7,000 for the Make-a-Wish Foundation. Lots of people were excited about the raffle.

The winner of the raffle was a woman who is not native to the US. Unfortunately, her last name looks and sounds exactly like an obscene English word that is used to describe a sexual act. (Not going to share the name here for obvious reasons, but I can assure you that almost everybody would do a double-take if they saw the name posted in big letters on a door).

I took her aside and explained to her that we can't name the conference room after her last name, especially since we often have conservative elderly clients who may be scandalized by the conference room name.

She immediately became upset and claimed that I was being racist and a bigot, and that I wasn't accepting of her ethnicity. I offered to name the conference room after her first name (a very common American name), but that just made her even more mad because she thinks I only care about her name sounding American.

She's gotten several people in her office on her side, and they are all calling me a racist and giving me dirty looks. I'm overhearing rumblings about starting a safe space in the office to discuss racial prejudices. Needless to say, this is starting to get ugly really quickly. I told my boss (who works in a different location) about this situation, and he just told me to deal with it and stop bothering him.

How can I defuse this situation without seeming insensitive or intolerant? What am I doing wrong?

Would using her full name be an acceptable compromise for you? Also do you have an HR department in your organization? — 5 hours ago
Can the question title be edited to something less loaded? This is not a "false accusation". It's a legitimate criticism of racist behavior, independent of "being a racist", and the body of the question is about dealing with the situation, not about handling a false accusation. — 3 hours ago
@R.. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines "racism" as prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against someone of a different race based on the belief that one's own race is superior. I don't think that there is evidence OP believes in the superiority of his/her own race, nor that race is in any way a motivating factor. Thus, I don't think there OP is engaging in any racist behaviour. OP would rather not give the room a funny-sounding name, and, if OP is to be trusted, John Crapper would receive the very same treatment. — 2 hours ago
@R.. I second Tobia Tesan's comment. The discrimination against the colleague's name has nothing to do with her race or ethnic origin. Your comment suggests the title should be Well I'm a racist, what should I do now?, which is not the case. — 2 hours ago

score 90 · Answer 1 · 2018-10-31 15:32:01Z

I would personally use both her first and her last name, and do the same for everyone else in the raffle. While not bigoted per se, refusing to treat all entrants the same is a problem in the workplace. That her name resembles an offensive word in English should not be a serious consideration in any case, as (hopefully) persons in your business (be they employees or visitors) should be mature enough to not assume it's an attempt to offend them. Besides, how hard is it to answer people who question it with "The room was named after the winner of a raffle, just like all the others."?

As Joe pointed out in the comments, adding a photo of the winner would go a long way to clearing up any misunderstandings.

Using the first and last names makes it more clear. Adding a photo of the winner would make it even more so. — 5 hours ago
You could also cheat. Just have a sign made up, with large letters "CONFERENCE ROOM A -" and underneath in tiny letters "'The Jane S. Fuck 'Make-A-WIsh' Charity Room'" and then have a massive 'Make-a-Wish' logo, and the date in large letters.. Make it all a fait accompli. Say nothing, absolutely nothing, to Jane. If she approaches you as if about to talk to you just brightly talk about the weather and walk away from her. Say and do nothing. Fait accompli. Make it an utter NON-issue. — 4 hours ago
"should be mature enough to not assume it's an attempt to offend them" Lol, are you sure about that? — 3 hours ago
@GOATNine and "should", too. I know you're not making an assertion of certainty, but I just appreciate your optimism, is all. — 3 hours ago

score 44 · Answer 2 · 2018-10-31 17:40:54Z

Here's a simple solution (for you): pass the buck.

You can just follow through on the original plan of the promotion and name the conference room after her. I'd expect management to object to the name for the same reasons you gave, and now it's their problem to appease the employee.

And if they don't, then maybe you were wrong in thinking that most people would find it objectionable. Either way, it's not your problem any more.

It's too late now, but you probably could have avoided the problem with a "subject to management approval" condition in the contest rules.

Another possibility is to arrange a meeting with the aggrieved employee and both your managers, and try to work out a compromise. Try to explain to her that you're trying to be practical, not racist. It's unfortunate that her name sounds like a derogatory term in your language.

I'm not sure there's any way to get out of this completely cleanly. You seem to have gotten yourself into a no-win situation. Either you're going to upset this employee or put the company in a very difficult situation. Your intentions were good, but you're the victim of unintended consequences. The best you can do now is try to minimize the damage. Unfortunately, I think the employee's feelings may have to take a back seat to other employees and the company's reputation with customers (but this really needs to be a management decision).

It's surprising to me that she hasn't run into problems due to her name numerous times before. But maybe she has, and she's trying to use this opportunity to make a social statement (I wonder if she bought lots of lottery tickets to increase the chance of this). This needs to be dealt with by management, you're not responsible for how everyone else will react.

If I were OPs manager and they did this to me, I might not be so happy with them, when they could have dealt with the issue themselves and not put it on my plate. — 3 hours ago
@R.. It seems like there's no way to get out of this without bothering someone. — 2 hours ago
@Barmar: Yes, the whole idea was just incredibly bad, but now that it's happened, OP needs to find a solution that minimizes further harm/embarrassment to the winner and builds confidence among other employees that he (1) doesn't intend to treat others unfairly along racial/ethnic lines, and (2) isn't going to do that just to save his own ass from uncomfortable situations. I'm not sure how to best achieve that. — 2 hours ago
@R.. I Think he may have to live with hurting the employee to avoid more serious consequences. — 2 hours ago

Joe Strazzere 234k114686974 · Answer 3 · 2018-10-31 14:57:32Z

How can I defuse this situation without seeming insensitive or
intolerant? What am I doing wrong?

Unless you are willing to follow through on the terms of your fundraiser, you're going to have a very difficult time appearing sensitive and tolerant. Not having support from HR and management makes that outcome unlikely.

If you are truly correct about how your "elderly" clients would react, your best bet is to apologize profusely, cancel the "exciting fundraiser" give back all the money, and go with a more boring, generic name set. And now you know why boring, generic names are used.

Next time, think things through beforehand. If the end result was using a last name you should have looked at the last names in your company and thought "Now, what is the worst that could happen here?"

+1 for the Now, what is the worst that could happen here?. I had a colleague which name could be read as "asshole" in my locale. That sure would have been a weird room name — 4 hours ago
The whole thing was an incredibly bad idea. the idea of just cancelling it, admitting the mistake, and giving back all the money is an excellent idea. — 4 hours ago
@Aserre Ã¢Â€ÂœPutainÃ¢Â€Â is a French last name (not to be confused with the Russian last name, which is transliterated as Ã¢Â€ÂœPoutineÃ¢Â€Â in French, and pronounced differently). The word also means Ã¢Â€ÂœwhoreÃ¢Â€Â (used like Ã¢Â€ÂœfuckÃ¢Â€Â). — 4 hours ago
How will cancelling the fundraiser diffuse the current situation? That seems like it's telling the offended: you're name is so bad we had to just cancel the whole thing. — 3 hours ago
The whole idea was bad because it ended up turning an employee's name into a topic of controversy and ridicule. Any good apology should be framed as "this whole thing was a very bad idea on my part and I didn't think it through", but if the winner still doesn't get what they were promised, whereas any other employee who had won obviously would have, there's a problem. — 3 hours ago

WorkerWithoutACause 9,38963358 · Answer 4 · 2018-10-31 14:43:45Z

up vote
12
down vote

From the direction from the raffle winner (who paid to compete), your colleagues and your boss, then you have to name the room after the winner, regardless of their last name.

Your concern regarding customer perception is important, but it's a possible problem rather than a current, actual problem. I would be prepared to explain to customers why the room is named as it is if they complain, but otherwise take no action.

answered 5 hours ago

WorkerWithoutACause

9,38963358

3

Exactly, and just because the client might be racist and get offended doesn't mean that the OP has to be.
â€“Â David K
4 hours ago

16

I think we're too quick to throw around the charge of "racist" to the point of it becoming a meaningless boogeyman. What is racist about being offended by a word that in English is obscene? Is everyone now expected to know every word in every language?
â€“Â Michael J.
3 hours ago

1

@MichaelJ. You just need to be able to distinguish between proper and non-proper nouns... For example, most people can distinguish between the family name "Butt" and their posterior.
â€“Â user3067860
3 hours ago

3

@user3067860 Right, but in this case there would be a sign that says "Butt Conference Room", which is a funny visual indeed.
â€“Â GrumpyCrouton
2 hours ago

2

@MichaelJ.: Even when the motivations of something arenÃ¢Â€Â™t racist at all, the effects can still be racist Ã¢Â€Â” having negative consequences for someone due to their ethnic/linguistic/national background. The knock-on problem is that if such accidental racism is pointed out, and the perpetrator gets defensive about their motivations without acknowledging the unfairness of the effect, then that is Ã¢Â€Â” at best Ã¢Â€Â” insensitive. IÃ¢Â€Â™m not judging OP or the whole situation Ã¢Â€Â” there are plenty of details we donÃ¢Â€Â™t know Ã¢Â€Â” but I donÃ¢Â€Â™t think one can dismiss the woman-with-startling-nameÃ¢Â€Â™s complaint entirely.
â€“Â PLL
1 hour ago

Â |Â
show 3 more comments

520 46327 · Answer 5 · 2018-10-31 16:55:58Z

up vote
6
down vote

I would approach the raffle winner and apologise for the offence caused, while clarifying that this was not the intention. Then tell her that, to make amends for the incident, you are going to allow her to name the office suite as she likes, including offering the name that you rejected, and that you will be refunding the price of the raffle in her case. Do. This. In. Writing. This gives you an out if the chosen name does actually offend. And it also counts as written evidence of your original intention and that you tried to make amends for the misunderstanding.

answered 3 hours ago

520

46327

4

I like this, but I'm not sure it's actually as kind as it sounds. Effectively, by letting her choose a name, you're putting her at risk of punishment when someone later deems her name offensive. This would not have happened to any other winner of the raffle, so she should not have to bear such a risk either. OP made the mess, and OP should be the one who bears the risks of carrying through with treating the winner fairly.
â€“Â R..
3 hours ago

3

@R.. I don't think the issue is whether or not the name is offensive in context; I think everyone (including OP) agrees that it is not. The issue is what happens out of context. If you are a potential client of a company who has a boardroom named "The Fuck Room", for ANY reason, does that make you think higher or lower of the professionalism of that company? That said, I'm also not a fan of this answer so I'm not giving it a +, but I don't dislike it enough to give a -.
â€“Â Ertai87
2 hours ago

1

@R.. she knows about the risk since she was already informed that the name could be offensive. Since she chose to pursue it anyway, its clear the risk is acceptable to her.
â€“Â alexgbelov
2 hours ago

2

@R.. In my opinion, she was told the name may be offensive to some, and she was quick to call that racist. Whether OP is right or wrong, or whether she is right or wrong, she still wants to use her name even after being told it may be offensive - I think she should be the one at risk of punishment if someone finds it offensive and costs the company money. Why should OP be? He tried to politely pull her aside and try to resolve the issue but she isn't trying to work with OP, and causing others to look down on OP.
â€“Â GrumpyCrouton
2 hours ago

2

@R.. Well to be fair the rules were hidden even to the person who created the contest. I agree OP could have handled the pre-situation better, such as looking at all the employees who may enter the contest and see the worst case - and I also agree that "putting the punishment on her" should also not be framed as an apology. However, OP did try to work out the situation with this employee and now being looked down upon as racist by others, seems almost like defamation to me, and if this employee insists on this, she should be the one in trouble if it goes wrong.
â€“Â GrumpyCrouton
1 hour ago

Â |Â
show 6 more comments

score 2 · Answer 6 · 2018-10-31 15:04:42Z

A few questions:

1) Who are these people saying you're a racist? Are they below or above you in seniority? Are they numerous or a small group? If there is a group of low-level employees causing this ruckus, then I would just go to management and tell them the story you have told here: "I did this thing, it kind of backfired, now there is a problem" and have management discuss the issue directly with the person in question and work it out. Take yourself out of the equation completely and let management take the fall.

2) If you try the above and it fails (management refuses to back you up), then imo it's an issue of company culture. If management fails to back you up despite you obviously trying to provide value to the business, then obviously the value you are providing is not strong enough for management to care. In which case, I would just cave and name the room after the employee as originally planned. The business consideration that naming a room after a swear word is (in this case) obviously of higher value to management than appearing professional is, and management will take the hit, not you, in the end, with fewer client contracts and less income and so on. In this case, however, I would document everything you have done and continue to do in case it blows back in your face later.

3) If you are management or HR, then you have a stronger position. Your position is to protect the business and maximize the needs of your clients, including having a presentable and professional business environment for them to visit. Put your foot down: "No, we will not have swear words on our conference rooms, sorry, end of discussion, if you would like to submit your resignation because you believe I am a racist due to protecting business interests then feel free to do so effective immediately". IANAL but I can't believe any court of law would find you liable under discrimination laws for failing to put a swear word on the door of a conference room in your office space under the "reasonable person" standard.

In any of the above 3 cases, I would offer to refund the money of this person though; she paid for the honour of having the room named after her, she should either get what she paid for or get her money returned. It's not fair to keep her money. If the money has already been donated, then the money might have to come out of your own pocket personally.

One alternative you might want to suggest is to name the conference room using the full name of the person. That way at least it might kind of look like the room isn't just named after a swear word, and in fact named after a particular person. Another option (credit to @JoeStrazzere in a comment thread on a different answer) is to put pictures of all the raffle winners in the rooms, along with their full names.

@user3067860 Not sure if anything in that document is applicable to the discussion at hand. It's not an employment matter; nobody is being hired or fired based on their national origin. In fact the issue is with the person's name specifically not their national origin; anyone else from that region with a different name would be fine in this scenario. — 2 hours ago

score -11 · Answer 7 · 2018-10-31 16:56:33Z

You can see why they're accusing you, though. You raise 7k and then flap it because you don't like her name?

In answer to your question, 'how can I defuse it?' - there is only one real, feasible approach. Here in the UK we have what's called deed poll by which one can change their name officially. Let's say her name, for argument sake, is 'Ivana Phuk' - her name could be changed to something a little more acceptable, you could see if there is a way you can do this on her behalf.

If your competition uses surname only, you could change her name to 'Ivana Conference', making the room a lot more sensible to visitors and colleagues.

You will probably have to explain to her, sensitively of course, that her name has been changed - but can convey that 'on the plus side' she is the winner of the competition and, as promised, will have a room named after her name, but her current name only. Be clear that the room is not subject to any future name changes.

EDIT

A lot of people seem to be missing the point of my suggestion here! You do not have to rename her to something radically different. Even 'Jones' would be a lot more appropriate for a room name.

Are you seriously recommending that they change the employee's name? — 3 hours ago
@JÃ¡Â´Â€ÃŠÂMÃ¡Â´Â‡Ã¡Â´Â‡: That very suggestion is offensive, nonsensical, and does not solve the problem asked. — 3 hours ago
Because if she thought not having her name used was offensive, she will totally be fine with you changing her name without her consent. That should put out the situation like throwing gasoline on a fire. — 2 hours ago
I can't tell if the answerer is a) trolling or b) has a language barrier and is misusing "her" when referring to the conference room. Or something. I'm very confused by this answer. — 2 hours ago
In what kind of jurisdiction is it possible for people to go around changing other people's legal names? "Oh, Kate, I hope you don't mind - you're Bob now". — 1 hour ago

score 90 · Answer 8 · 2018-10-31 15:32:01Z

I would personally use both her first and her last name, and do the same for everyone else in the raffle. While not bigoted per se, refusing to treat all entrants the same is a problem in the workplace. That her name resembles an offensive word in English should not be a serious consideration in any case, as (hopefully) persons in your business (be they employees or visitors) should be mature enough to not assume it's an attempt to offend them. Besides, how hard is it to answer people who question it with "The room was named after the winner of a raffle, just like all the others."?

As Joe pointed out in the comments, adding a photo of the winner would go a long way to clearing up any misunderstandings.

Using the first and last names makes it more clear. Adding a photo of the winner would make it even more so. — 5 hours ago
You could also cheat. Just have a sign made up, with large letters "CONFERENCE ROOM A -" and underneath in tiny letters "'The Jane S. Fuck 'Make-A-WIsh' Charity Room'" and then have a massive 'Make-a-Wish' logo, and the date in large letters.. Make it all a fait accompli. Say nothing, absolutely nothing, to Jane. If she approaches you as if about to talk to you just brightly talk about the weather and walk away from her. Say and do nothing. Fait accompli. Make it an utter NON-issue. — 4 hours ago
"should be mature enough to not assume it's an attempt to offend them" Lol, are you sure about that? — 3 hours ago
@GOATNine and "should", too. I know you're not making an assertion of certainty, but I just appreciate your optimism, is all. — 3 hours ago

score 44 · Answer 9 · 2018-10-31 17:40:54Z

Here's a simple solution (for you): pass the buck.

You can just follow through on the original plan of the promotion and name the conference room after her. I'd expect management to object to the name for the same reasons you gave, and now it's their problem to appease the employee.

And if they don't, then maybe you were wrong in thinking that most people would find it objectionable. Either way, it's not your problem any more.

It's too late now, but you probably could have avoided the problem with a "subject to management approval" condition in the contest rules.

Another possibility is to arrange a meeting with the aggrieved employee and both your managers, and try to work out a compromise. Try to explain to her that you're trying to be practical, not racist. It's unfortunate that her name sounds like a derogatory term in your language.

I'm not sure there's any way to get out of this completely cleanly. You seem to have gotten yourself into a no-win situation. Either you're going to upset this employee or put the company in a very difficult situation. Your intentions were good, but you're the victim of unintended consequences. The best you can do now is try to minimize the damage. Unfortunately, I think the employee's feelings may have to take a back seat to other employees and the company's reputation with customers (but this really needs to be a management decision).

It's surprising to me that she hasn't run into problems due to her name numerous times before. But maybe she has, and she's trying to use this opportunity to make a social statement (I wonder if she bought lots of lottery tickets to increase the chance of this). This needs to be dealt with by management, you're not responsible for how everyone else will react.

If I were OPs manager and they did this to me, I might not be so happy with them, when they could have dealt with the issue themselves and not put it on my plate. — 3 hours ago
@R.. It seems like there's no way to get out of this without bothering someone. — 2 hours ago
@Barmar: Yes, the whole idea was just incredibly bad, but now that it's happened, OP needs to find a solution that minimizes further harm/embarrassment to the winner and builds confidence among other employees that he (1) doesn't intend to treat others unfairly along racial/ethnic lines, and (2) isn't going to do that just to save his own ass from uncomfortable situations. I'm not sure how to best achieve that. — 2 hours ago
@R.. I Think he may have to live with hurting the employee to avoid more serious consequences. — 2 hours ago

Joe Strazzere 234k114686974 · Answer 10 · 2018-10-31 14:57:32Z

How can I defuse this situation without seeming insensitive or
intolerant? What am I doing wrong?

Unless you are willing to follow through on the terms of your fundraiser, you're going to have a very difficult time appearing sensitive and tolerant. Not having support from HR and management makes that outcome unlikely.

If you are truly correct about how your "elderly" clients would react, your best bet is to apologize profusely, cancel the "exciting fundraiser" give back all the money, and go with a more boring, generic name set. And now you know why boring, generic names are used.

Next time, think things through beforehand. If the end result was using a last name you should have looked at the last names in your company and thought "Now, what is the worst that could happen here?"

+1 for the Now, what is the worst that could happen here?. I had a colleague which name could be read as "asshole" in my locale. That sure would have been a weird room name — 4 hours ago
The whole thing was an incredibly bad idea. the idea of just cancelling it, admitting the mistake, and giving back all the money is an excellent idea. — 4 hours ago
@Aserre Ã¢Â€ÂœPutainÃ¢Â€Â is a French last name (not to be confused with the Russian last name, which is transliterated as Ã¢Â€ÂœPoutineÃ¢Â€Â in French, and pronounced differently). The word also means Ã¢Â€ÂœwhoreÃ¢Â€Â (used like Ã¢Â€ÂœfuckÃ¢Â€Â). — 4 hours ago
How will cancelling the fundraiser diffuse the current situation? That seems like it's telling the offended: you're name is so bad we had to just cancel the whole thing. — 3 hours ago
The whole idea was bad because it ended up turning an employee's name into a topic of controversy and ridicule. Any good apology should be framed as "this whole thing was a very bad idea on my part and I didn't think it through", but if the winner still doesn't get what they were promised, whereas any other employee who had won obviously would have, there's a problem. — 3 hours ago

WorkerWithoutACause 9,38963358 · Answer 11 · 2018-10-31 14:43:45Z

up vote
12
down vote

From the direction from the raffle winner (who paid to compete), your colleagues and your boss, then you have to name the room after the winner, regardless of their last name.

Your concern regarding customer perception is important, but it's a possible problem rather than a current, actual problem. I would be prepared to explain to customers why the room is named as it is if they complain, but otherwise take no action.

answered 5 hours ago

WorkerWithoutACause

9,38963358

3

Exactly, and just because the client might be racist and get offended doesn't mean that the OP has to be.
â€“Â David K
4 hours ago

16

I think we're too quick to throw around the charge of "racist" to the point of it becoming a meaningless boogeyman. What is racist about being offended by a word that in English is obscene? Is everyone now expected to know every word in every language?
â€“Â Michael J.
3 hours ago

1

@MichaelJ. You just need to be able to distinguish between proper and non-proper nouns... For example, most people can distinguish between the family name "Butt" and their posterior.
â€“Â user3067860
3 hours ago

3

@user3067860 Right, but in this case there would be a sign that says "Butt Conference Room", which is a funny visual indeed.
â€“Â GrumpyCrouton
2 hours ago

2

@MichaelJ.: Even when the motivations of something arenÃ¢Â€Â™t racist at all, the effects can still be racist Ã¢Â€Â” having negative consequences for someone due to their ethnic/linguistic/national background. The knock-on problem is that if such accidental racism is pointed out, and the perpetrator gets defensive about their motivations without acknowledging the unfairness of the effect, then that is Ã¢Â€Â” at best Ã¢Â€Â” insensitive. IÃ¢Â€Â™m not judging OP or the whole situation Ã¢Â€Â” there are plenty of details we donÃ¢Â€Â™t know Ã¢Â€Â” but I donÃ¢Â€Â™t think one can dismiss the woman-with-startling-nameÃ¢Â€Â™s complaint entirely.
â€“Â PLL
1 hour ago

Â |Â
show 3 more comments

520 46327 · Answer 12 · 2018-10-31 16:55:58Z

up vote
6
down vote

I would approach the raffle winner and apologise for the offence caused, while clarifying that this was not the intention. Then tell her that, to make amends for the incident, you are going to allow her to name the office suite as she likes, including offering the name that you rejected, and that you will be refunding the price of the raffle in her case. Do. This. In. Writing. This gives you an out if the chosen name does actually offend. And it also counts as written evidence of your original intention and that you tried to make amends for the misunderstanding.

answered 3 hours ago

520

46327

4

I like this, but I'm not sure it's actually as kind as it sounds. Effectively, by letting her choose a name, you're putting her at risk of punishment when someone later deems her name offensive. This would not have happened to any other winner of the raffle, so she should not have to bear such a risk either. OP made the mess, and OP should be the one who bears the risks of carrying through with treating the winner fairly.
â€“Â R..
3 hours ago

3

@R.. I don't think the issue is whether or not the name is offensive in context; I think everyone (including OP) agrees that it is not. The issue is what happens out of context. If you are a potential client of a company who has a boardroom named "The Fuck Room", for ANY reason, does that make you think higher or lower of the professionalism of that company? That said, I'm also not a fan of this answer so I'm not giving it a +, but I don't dislike it enough to give a -.
â€“Â Ertai87
2 hours ago

1

@R.. she knows about the risk since she was already informed that the name could be offensive. Since she chose to pursue it anyway, its clear the risk is acceptable to her.
â€“Â alexgbelov
2 hours ago

2

@R.. In my opinion, she was told the name may be offensive to some, and she was quick to call that racist. Whether OP is right or wrong, or whether she is right or wrong, she still wants to use her name even after being told it may be offensive - I think she should be the one at risk of punishment if someone finds it offensive and costs the company money. Why should OP be? He tried to politely pull her aside and try to resolve the issue but she isn't trying to work with OP, and causing others to look down on OP.
â€“Â GrumpyCrouton
2 hours ago

2

@R.. Well to be fair the rules were hidden even to the person who created the contest. I agree OP could have handled the pre-situation better, such as looking at all the employees who may enter the contest and see the worst case - and I also agree that "putting the punishment on her" should also not be framed as an apology. However, OP did try to work out the situation with this employee and now being looked down upon as racist by others, seems almost like defamation to me, and if this employee insists on this, she should be the one in trouble if it goes wrong.
â€“Â GrumpyCrouton
1 hour ago

Â |Â
show 6 more comments

score 2 · Answer 13 · 2018-10-31 15:04:42Z

A few questions:

1) Who are these people saying you're a racist? Are they below or above you in seniority? Are they numerous or a small group? If there is a group of low-level employees causing this ruckus, then I would just go to management and tell them the story you have told here: "I did this thing, it kind of backfired, now there is a problem" and have management discuss the issue directly with the person in question and work it out. Take yourself out of the equation completely and let management take the fall.

2) If you try the above and it fails (management refuses to back you up), then imo it's an issue of company culture. If management fails to back you up despite you obviously trying to provide value to the business, then obviously the value you are providing is not strong enough for management to care. In which case, I would just cave and name the room after the employee as originally planned. The business consideration that naming a room after a swear word is (in this case) obviously of higher value to management than appearing professional is, and management will take the hit, not you, in the end, with fewer client contracts and less income and so on. In this case, however, I would document everything you have done and continue to do in case it blows back in your face later.

3) If you are management or HR, then you have a stronger position. Your position is to protect the business and maximize the needs of your clients, including having a presentable and professional business environment for them to visit. Put your foot down: "No, we will not have swear words on our conference rooms, sorry, end of discussion, if you would like to submit your resignation because you believe I am a racist due to protecting business interests then feel free to do so effective immediately". IANAL but I can't believe any court of law would find you liable under discrimination laws for failing to put a swear word on the door of a conference room in your office space under the "reasonable person" standard.

In any of the above 3 cases, I would offer to refund the money of this person though; she paid for the honour of having the room named after her, she should either get what she paid for or get her money returned. It's not fair to keep her money. If the money has already been donated, then the money might have to come out of your own pocket personally.

One alternative you might want to suggest is to name the conference room using the full name of the person. That way at least it might kind of look like the room isn't just named after a swear word, and in fact named after a particular person. Another option (credit to @JoeStrazzere in a comment thread on a different answer) is to put pictures of all the raffle winners in the rooms, along with their full names.

@user3067860 Not sure if anything in that document is applicable to the discussion at hand. It's not an employment matter; nobody is being hired or fired based on their national origin. In fact the issue is with the person's name specifically not their national origin; anyone else from that region with a different name would be fine in this scenario. — 2 hours ago

score -11 · Answer 14 · 2018-10-31 16:56:33Z

You can see why they're accusing you, though. You raise 7k and then flap it because you don't like her name?

In answer to your question, 'how can I defuse it?' - there is only one real, feasible approach. Here in the UK we have what's called deed poll by which one can change their name officially. Let's say her name, for argument sake, is 'Ivana Phuk' - her name could be changed to something a little more acceptable, you could see if there is a way you can do this on her behalf.

If your competition uses surname only, you could change her name to 'Ivana Conference', making the room a lot more sensible to visitors and colleagues.

You will probably have to explain to her, sensitively of course, that her name has been changed - but can convey that 'on the plus side' she is the winner of the competition and, as promised, will have a room named after her name, but her current name only. Be clear that the room is not subject to any future name changes.

EDIT

A lot of people seem to be missing the point of my suggestion here! You do not have to rename her to something radically different. Even 'Jones' would be a lot more appropriate for a room name.

Are you seriously recommending that they change the employee's name? — 3 hours ago
@JÃ¡Â´Â€ÃŠÂMÃ¡Â´Â‡Ã¡Â´Â‡: That very suggestion is offensive, nonsensical, and does not solve the problem asked. — 3 hours ago
Because if she thought not having her name used was offensive, she will totally be fine with you changing her name without her consent. That should put out the situation like throwing gasoline on a fire. — 2 hours ago
I can't tell if the answerer is a) trolling or b) has a language barrier and is misusing "her" when referring to the conference room. Or something. I'm very confused by this answer. — 2 hours ago
In what kind of jurisdiction is it possible for people to go around changing other people's legal names? "Oh, Kate, I hope you don't mind - you're Bob now". — 1 hour ago

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