How do I have a conversation about stress with my manager when he is the cause?

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This question follows from How to deal with mixed messages during the probation period?



My situation is that my probation period has been extended. Moreover, my manager sends me mixed messages about my performance.



Seeing as my probation period is almost up and I don't have any information as to how that will proceed, then I'm stressed. Moreover, I haven't found a 'back-up' job, but I do have a decent amount of savings.



I know that I'm stressed (as opposed to 'under pressure') because my blood pressure has increased to 'high' levels whilst working here. I don't have any other drivers of high blood pressure (smoking, obesity, high-salt diet etc.)



I want to have a conversation with my manager about the stress he has been causing me and the potential health consequences it may have. Ideally I want to have a situation where going forwards he gives me consistent feedback on my work. Negative feedback is fine; at least I'll know where I stand.



My question is, how can I hold a conversation about workplace stress when I know my manager is the cause?










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  • If you want feedback, you need to ask for feedback until you get it. For stress, talk to your doctor.
    – Joe Strazzere
    53 mins ago










  • "Seeing as my probation period is almost up and I don't have any information as to how that will proceed, then I'm stressed." - if your non-medical assessment of your symptoms is correct, then your stress will going away soon one way or the other.
    – Joe Strazzere
    49 mins ago
















up vote
3
down vote

favorite












This question follows from How to deal with mixed messages during the probation period?



My situation is that my probation period has been extended. Moreover, my manager sends me mixed messages about my performance.



Seeing as my probation period is almost up and I don't have any information as to how that will proceed, then I'm stressed. Moreover, I haven't found a 'back-up' job, but I do have a decent amount of savings.



I know that I'm stressed (as opposed to 'under pressure') because my blood pressure has increased to 'high' levels whilst working here. I don't have any other drivers of high blood pressure (smoking, obesity, high-salt diet etc.)



I want to have a conversation with my manager about the stress he has been causing me and the potential health consequences it may have. Ideally I want to have a situation where going forwards he gives me consistent feedback on my work. Negative feedback is fine; at least I'll know where I stand.



My question is, how can I hold a conversation about workplace stress when I know my manager is the cause?










share|improve this question





















  • If you want feedback, you need to ask for feedback until you get it. For stress, talk to your doctor.
    – Joe Strazzere
    53 mins ago










  • "Seeing as my probation period is almost up and I don't have any information as to how that will proceed, then I'm stressed." - if your non-medical assessment of your symptoms is correct, then your stress will going away soon one way or the other.
    – Joe Strazzere
    49 mins ago












up vote
3
down vote

favorite









up vote
3
down vote

favorite











This question follows from How to deal with mixed messages during the probation period?



My situation is that my probation period has been extended. Moreover, my manager sends me mixed messages about my performance.



Seeing as my probation period is almost up and I don't have any information as to how that will proceed, then I'm stressed. Moreover, I haven't found a 'back-up' job, but I do have a decent amount of savings.



I know that I'm stressed (as opposed to 'under pressure') because my blood pressure has increased to 'high' levels whilst working here. I don't have any other drivers of high blood pressure (smoking, obesity, high-salt diet etc.)



I want to have a conversation with my manager about the stress he has been causing me and the potential health consequences it may have. Ideally I want to have a situation where going forwards he gives me consistent feedback on my work. Negative feedback is fine; at least I'll know where I stand.



My question is, how can I hold a conversation about workplace stress when I know my manager is the cause?










share|improve this question













This question follows from How to deal with mixed messages during the probation period?



My situation is that my probation period has been extended. Moreover, my manager sends me mixed messages about my performance.



Seeing as my probation period is almost up and I don't have any information as to how that will proceed, then I'm stressed. Moreover, I haven't found a 'back-up' job, but I do have a decent amount of savings.



I know that I'm stressed (as opposed to 'under pressure') because my blood pressure has increased to 'high' levels whilst working here. I don't have any other drivers of high blood pressure (smoking, obesity, high-salt diet etc.)



I want to have a conversation with my manager about the stress he has been causing me and the potential health consequences it may have. Ideally I want to have a situation where going forwards he gives me consistent feedback on my work. Negative feedback is fine; at least I'll know where I stand.



My question is, how can I hold a conversation about workplace stress when I know my manager is the cause?







manager stress conversation






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asked 4 hours ago









WorkerWithoutACause

9,21863257




9,21863257











  • If you want feedback, you need to ask for feedback until you get it. For stress, talk to your doctor.
    – Joe Strazzere
    53 mins ago










  • "Seeing as my probation period is almost up and I don't have any information as to how that will proceed, then I'm stressed." - if your non-medical assessment of your symptoms is correct, then your stress will going away soon one way or the other.
    – Joe Strazzere
    49 mins ago
















  • If you want feedback, you need to ask for feedback until you get it. For stress, talk to your doctor.
    – Joe Strazzere
    53 mins ago










  • "Seeing as my probation period is almost up and I don't have any information as to how that will proceed, then I'm stressed." - if your non-medical assessment of your symptoms is correct, then your stress will going away soon one way or the other.
    – Joe Strazzere
    49 mins ago















If you want feedback, you need to ask for feedback until you get it. For stress, talk to your doctor.
– Joe Strazzere
53 mins ago




If you want feedback, you need to ask for feedback until you get it. For stress, talk to your doctor.
– Joe Strazzere
53 mins ago












"Seeing as my probation period is almost up and I don't have any information as to how that will proceed, then I'm stressed." - if your non-medical assessment of your symptoms is correct, then your stress will going away soon one way or the other.
– Joe Strazzere
49 mins ago




"Seeing as my probation period is almost up and I don't have any information as to how that will proceed, then I'm stressed." - if your non-medical assessment of your symptoms is correct, then your stress will going away soon one way or the other.
– Joe Strazzere
49 mins ago










1 Answer
1






active

oldest

votes

















up vote
10
down vote













Don't talk to him about the stress that he's causing you.



Do have a talk with him regarding the stress that the situation is causing you.



Tell him what situation is causing you problems and how you'd ideally like to resolve them, or give specifics about what it is that you find difficult to deal with.




I'm finding it hard to do x, y, and z because I also have priorities with a, b, and c.




So, it's the situation that's stressful, let your manager infers what he needs to about the causes for you being pulled in different directions.






share|improve this answer
















  • 1




    To address getting mixed messages on your performance, I would add to this answer that that OP should be pushing for clearer expectations too.
    – jcmack
    4 hours ago










  • And in addition to this, you should have a department like Human Resources / Personnel wherein someone should be able to listen to your concerns and help / advice you; possibly even mediate for you if need be.
    – Matthew E Cornish
    4 hours ago










  • Alleviating stress isn't your manager's job. If you are having trouble getting work done, talk to your manager about that.
    – Joe Strazzere
    52 mins ago










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1 Answer
1






active

oldest

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1 Answer
1






active

oldest

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active

oldest

votes






active

oldest

votes








up vote
10
down vote













Don't talk to him about the stress that he's causing you.



Do have a talk with him regarding the stress that the situation is causing you.



Tell him what situation is causing you problems and how you'd ideally like to resolve them, or give specifics about what it is that you find difficult to deal with.




I'm finding it hard to do x, y, and z because I also have priorities with a, b, and c.




So, it's the situation that's stressful, let your manager infers what he needs to about the causes for you being pulled in different directions.






share|improve this answer
















  • 1




    To address getting mixed messages on your performance, I would add to this answer that that OP should be pushing for clearer expectations too.
    – jcmack
    4 hours ago










  • And in addition to this, you should have a department like Human Resources / Personnel wherein someone should be able to listen to your concerns and help / advice you; possibly even mediate for you if need be.
    – Matthew E Cornish
    4 hours ago










  • Alleviating stress isn't your manager's job. If you are having trouble getting work done, talk to your manager about that.
    – Joe Strazzere
    52 mins ago














up vote
10
down vote













Don't talk to him about the stress that he's causing you.



Do have a talk with him regarding the stress that the situation is causing you.



Tell him what situation is causing you problems and how you'd ideally like to resolve them, or give specifics about what it is that you find difficult to deal with.




I'm finding it hard to do x, y, and z because I also have priorities with a, b, and c.




So, it's the situation that's stressful, let your manager infers what he needs to about the causes for you being pulled in different directions.






share|improve this answer
















  • 1




    To address getting mixed messages on your performance, I would add to this answer that that OP should be pushing for clearer expectations too.
    – jcmack
    4 hours ago










  • And in addition to this, you should have a department like Human Resources / Personnel wherein someone should be able to listen to your concerns and help / advice you; possibly even mediate for you if need be.
    – Matthew E Cornish
    4 hours ago










  • Alleviating stress isn't your manager's job. If you are having trouble getting work done, talk to your manager about that.
    – Joe Strazzere
    52 mins ago












up vote
10
down vote










up vote
10
down vote









Don't talk to him about the stress that he's causing you.



Do have a talk with him regarding the stress that the situation is causing you.



Tell him what situation is causing you problems and how you'd ideally like to resolve them, or give specifics about what it is that you find difficult to deal with.




I'm finding it hard to do x, y, and z because I also have priorities with a, b, and c.




So, it's the situation that's stressful, let your manager infers what he needs to about the causes for you being pulled in different directions.






share|improve this answer












Don't talk to him about the stress that he's causing you.



Do have a talk with him regarding the stress that the situation is causing you.



Tell him what situation is causing you problems and how you'd ideally like to resolve them, or give specifics about what it is that you find difficult to deal with.




I'm finding it hard to do x, y, and z because I also have priorities with a, b, and c.




So, it's the situation that's stressful, let your manager infers what he needs to about the causes for you being pulled in different directions.







share|improve this answer












share|improve this answer



share|improve this answer










answered 4 hours ago









Snow♦

51.7k46170214




51.7k46170214







  • 1




    To address getting mixed messages on your performance, I would add to this answer that that OP should be pushing for clearer expectations too.
    – jcmack
    4 hours ago










  • And in addition to this, you should have a department like Human Resources / Personnel wherein someone should be able to listen to your concerns and help / advice you; possibly even mediate for you if need be.
    – Matthew E Cornish
    4 hours ago










  • Alleviating stress isn't your manager's job. If you are having trouble getting work done, talk to your manager about that.
    – Joe Strazzere
    52 mins ago












  • 1




    To address getting mixed messages on your performance, I would add to this answer that that OP should be pushing for clearer expectations too.
    – jcmack
    4 hours ago










  • And in addition to this, you should have a department like Human Resources / Personnel wherein someone should be able to listen to your concerns and help / advice you; possibly even mediate for you if need be.
    – Matthew E Cornish
    4 hours ago










  • Alleviating stress isn't your manager's job. If you are having trouble getting work done, talk to your manager about that.
    – Joe Strazzere
    52 mins ago







1




1




To address getting mixed messages on your performance, I would add to this answer that that OP should be pushing for clearer expectations too.
– jcmack
4 hours ago




To address getting mixed messages on your performance, I would add to this answer that that OP should be pushing for clearer expectations too.
– jcmack
4 hours ago












And in addition to this, you should have a department like Human Resources / Personnel wherein someone should be able to listen to your concerns and help / advice you; possibly even mediate for you if need be.
– Matthew E Cornish
4 hours ago




And in addition to this, you should have a department like Human Resources / Personnel wherein someone should be able to listen to your concerns and help / advice you; possibly even mediate for you if need be.
– Matthew E Cornish
4 hours ago












Alleviating stress isn't your manager's job. If you are having trouble getting work done, talk to your manager about that.
– Joe Strazzere
52 mins ago




Alleviating stress isn't your manager's job. If you are having trouble getting work done, talk to your manager about that.
– Joe Strazzere
52 mins ago

















 

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