What is the right approach to handle bossy co-worker?

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I’ve joined a robotics team in a consulting firm one month ago. I don’t have any work experience so I’m quite new to almost everything. My co-worker, let’s say X, has been working on this area for one year. On my first of day at office, my managers called me to their room and warned me about this X. They told that she is quite dominant and they are having a hard time disiplinizing her. This quite frightened me, I decided to behave calm and a little bit distant.



The thing is that, as always, X knows most of the things about this area. At least, more than me. The managers want me to learn everything as quickly as possible so that they can fire her. Because they want to hire more computer engineers (X is not engineer) and one of the managers hates X for some reason. I am not really interested about whether she gets fired or not, I will try to do my best at my work. But I have been thinking about how to suppress her. She is not bullying but sometimes talks like a manager and once mentioned my work to the customer like she did it. I have set my mind to work hard and be a good manager in the future. But this is X is my first challenge. How should I behave? Should I become more assertive or stay calm and keep working? I feel quite paralyzed, confused and stressted. I don’t know when and how to make an intervention.










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    I’ve joined a robotics team in a consulting firm one month ago. I don’t have any work experience so I’m quite new to almost everything. My co-worker, let’s say X, has been working on this area for one year. On my first of day at office, my managers called me to their room and warned me about this X. They told that she is quite dominant and they are having a hard time disiplinizing her. This quite frightened me, I decided to behave calm and a little bit distant.



    The thing is that, as always, X knows most of the things about this area. At least, more than me. The managers want me to learn everything as quickly as possible so that they can fire her. Because they want to hire more computer engineers (X is not engineer) and one of the managers hates X for some reason. I am not really interested about whether she gets fired or not, I will try to do my best at my work. But I have been thinking about how to suppress her. She is not bullying but sometimes talks like a manager and once mentioned my work to the customer like she did it. I have set my mind to work hard and be a good manager in the future. But this is X is my first challenge. How should I behave? Should I become more assertive or stay calm and keep working? I feel quite paralyzed, confused and stressted. I don’t know when and how to make an intervention.










    share|improve this question







    New contributor




    velouria is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
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      up vote
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      I’ve joined a robotics team in a consulting firm one month ago. I don’t have any work experience so I’m quite new to almost everything. My co-worker, let’s say X, has been working on this area for one year. On my first of day at office, my managers called me to their room and warned me about this X. They told that she is quite dominant and they are having a hard time disiplinizing her. This quite frightened me, I decided to behave calm and a little bit distant.



      The thing is that, as always, X knows most of the things about this area. At least, more than me. The managers want me to learn everything as quickly as possible so that they can fire her. Because they want to hire more computer engineers (X is not engineer) and one of the managers hates X for some reason. I am not really interested about whether she gets fired or not, I will try to do my best at my work. But I have been thinking about how to suppress her. She is not bullying but sometimes talks like a manager and once mentioned my work to the customer like she did it. I have set my mind to work hard and be a good manager in the future. But this is X is my first challenge. How should I behave? Should I become more assertive or stay calm and keep working? I feel quite paralyzed, confused and stressted. I don’t know when and how to make an intervention.










      share|improve this question







      New contributor




      velouria is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
      Check out our Code of Conduct.











      I’ve joined a robotics team in a consulting firm one month ago. I don’t have any work experience so I’m quite new to almost everything. My co-worker, let’s say X, has been working on this area for one year. On my first of day at office, my managers called me to their room and warned me about this X. They told that she is quite dominant and they are having a hard time disiplinizing her. This quite frightened me, I decided to behave calm and a little bit distant.



      The thing is that, as always, X knows most of the things about this area. At least, more than me. The managers want me to learn everything as quickly as possible so that they can fire her. Because they want to hire more computer engineers (X is not engineer) and one of the managers hates X for some reason. I am not really interested about whether she gets fired or not, I will try to do my best at my work. But I have been thinking about how to suppress her. She is not bullying but sometimes talks like a manager and once mentioned my work to the customer like she did it. I have set my mind to work hard and be a good manager in the future. But this is X is my first challenge. How should I behave? Should I become more assertive or stay calm and keep working? I feel quite paralyzed, confused and stressted. I don’t know when and how to make an intervention.







      management work-environment coworker






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      velouria

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          Well, the first thing you should do is escalate this to your manager.



          Letting them know how you're handling the situation is normally the best thing to do. As you become a manager, you need to learn when to escalate and ask for guidance - and normally it is "all the time" until you learn more about leading.



          Next, given your co-worker is apparently on the way out, you should not really worry about how she presents herself to customers, and instead focus on



          1. having weekly meetings (or fortnightly) with your manager to report your progress

          2. getting along with X

          that she acts like a manager or whatever is of no concern - I mean, it might bother you, but you should avoid acting on it. Your role is to learn, not to rehabilitate or discipline her.




          Should I become more assertive or stay calm and keep working? I feel quite paralyzed, confused and stressted. I don’t know when and how to make an intervention.




          Nothing you've mentioned - she's not bullying, sometimes she acts like a manager - seems to warrant making you paralyzed, confused and stressed. Either you're not describing the whole story, or you are perhaps over-reacting to the problem you're in?



          You don't need to lead right now - you need to follow and learn. That's as important a skill (the knowing when to, and the how to gracefully) as leading.



          In any event, because you lack technical skill, are junior to her in terms of employment and have not been "granted" any leadership, I imagine that leading would be very hard here. You would have to either know more or having an amazing vision - both of which are unlikely.



          I'd recommend you focus on learning, and not worry so much about the leading this particular co-worker. Just make sure your manager knows you want to lead!





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            Well, the first thing you should do is escalate this to your manager.



            Letting them know how you're handling the situation is normally the best thing to do. As you become a manager, you need to learn when to escalate and ask for guidance - and normally it is "all the time" until you learn more about leading.



            Next, given your co-worker is apparently on the way out, you should not really worry about how she presents herself to customers, and instead focus on



            1. having weekly meetings (or fortnightly) with your manager to report your progress

            2. getting along with X

            that she acts like a manager or whatever is of no concern - I mean, it might bother you, but you should avoid acting on it. Your role is to learn, not to rehabilitate or discipline her.




            Should I become more assertive or stay calm and keep working? I feel quite paralyzed, confused and stressted. I don’t know when and how to make an intervention.




            Nothing you've mentioned - she's not bullying, sometimes she acts like a manager - seems to warrant making you paralyzed, confused and stressed. Either you're not describing the whole story, or you are perhaps over-reacting to the problem you're in?



            You don't need to lead right now - you need to follow and learn. That's as important a skill (the knowing when to, and the how to gracefully) as leading.



            In any event, because you lack technical skill, are junior to her in terms of employment and have not been "granted" any leadership, I imagine that leading would be very hard here. You would have to either know more or having an amazing vision - both of which are unlikely.



            I'd recommend you focus on learning, and not worry so much about the leading this particular co-worker. Just make sure your manager knows you want to lead!





            share
























              up vote
              0
              down vote













              Well, the first thing you should do is escalate this to your manager.



              Letting them know how you're handling the situation is normally the best thing to do. As you become a manager, you need to learn when to escalate and ask for guidance - and normally it is "all the time" until you learn more about leading.



              Next, given your co-worker is apparently on the way out, you should not really worry about how she presents herself to customers, and instead focus on



              1. having weekly meetings (or fortnightly) with your manager to report your progress

              2. getting along with X

              that she acts like a manager or whatever is of no concern - I mean, it might bother you, but you should avoid acting on it. Your role is to learn, not to rehabilitate or discipline her.




              Should I become more assertive or stay calm and keep working? I feel quite paralyzed, confused and stressted. I don’t know when and how to make an intervention.




              Nothing you've mentioned - she's not bullying, sometimes she acts like a manager - seems to warrant making you paralyzed, confused and stressed. Either you're not describing the whole story, or you are perhaps over-reacting to the problem you're in?



              You don't need to lead right now - you need to follow and learn. That's as important a skill (the knowing when to, and the how to gracefully) as leading.



              In any event, because you lack technical skill, are junior to her in terms of employment and have not been "granted" any leadership, I imagine that leading would be very hard here. You would have to either know more or having an amazing vision - both of which are unlikely.



              I'd recommend you focus on learning, and not worry so much about the leading this particular co-worker. Just make sure your manager knows you want to lead!





              share






















                up vote
                0
                down vote










                up vote
                0
                down vote









                Well, the first thing you should do is escalate this to your manager.



                Letting them know how you're handling the situation is normally the best thing to do. As you become a manager, you need to learn when to escalate and ask for guidance - and normally it is "all the time" until you learn more about leading.



                Next, given your co-worker is apparently on the way out, you should not really worry about how she presents herself to customers, and instead focus on



                1. having weekly meetings (or fortnightly) with your manager to report your progress

                2. getting along with X

                that she acts like a manager or whatever is of no concern - I mean, it might bother you, but you should avoid acting on it. Your role is to learn, not to rehabilitate or discipline her.




                Should I become more assertive or stay calm and keep working? I feel quite paralyzed, confused and stressted. I don’t know when and how to make an intervention.




                Nothing you've mentioned - she's not bullying, sometimes she acts like a manager - seems to warrant making you paralyzed, confused and stressed. Either you're not describing the whole story, or you are perhaps over-reacting to the problem you're in?



                You don't need to lead right now - you need to follow and learn. That's as important a skill (the knowing when to, and the how to gracefully) as leading.



                In any event, because you lack technical skill, are junior to her in terms of employment and have not been "granted" any leadership, I imagine that leading would be very hard here. You would have to either know more or having an amazing vision - both of which are unlikely.



                I'd recommend you focus on learning, and not worry so much about the leading this particular co-worker. Just make sure your manager knows you want to lead!





                share












                Well, the first thing you should do is escalate this to your manager.



                Letting them know how you're handling the situation is normally the best thing to do. As you become a manager, you need to learn when to escalate and ask for guidance - and normally it is "all the time" until you learn more about leading.



                Next, given your co-worker is apparently on the way out, you should not really worry about how she presents herself to customers, and instead focus on



                1. having weekly meetings (or fortnightly) with your manager to report your progress

                2. getting along with X

                that she acts like a manager or whatever is of no concern - I mean, it might bother you, but you should avoid acting on it. Your role is to learn, not to rehabilitate or discipline her.




                Should I become more assertive or stay calm and keep working? I feel quite paralyzed, confused and stressted. I don’t know when and how to make an intervention.




                Nothing you've mentioned - she's not bullying, sometimes she acts like a manager - seems to warrant making you paralyzed, confused and stressed. Either you're not describing the whole story, or you are perhaps over-reacting to the problem you're in?



                You don't need to lead right now - you need to follow and learn. That's as important a skill (the knowing when to, and the how to gracefully) as leading.



                In any event, because you lack technical skill, are junior to her in terms of employment and have not been "granted" any leadership, I imagine that leading would be very hard here. You would have to either know more or having an amazing vision - both of which are unlikely.



                I'd recommend you focus on learning, and not worry so much about the leading this particular co-worker. Just make sure your manager knows you want to lead!






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                answered 1 min ago









                bharal

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