Can I be a reference for my girlfriend?

The name of the pictureThe name of the pictureThe name of the pictureClash Royale CLAN TAG#URR8PPP





.everyoneloves__top-leaderboard:empty,.everyoneloves__mid-leaderboard:empty margin-bottom:0;







up vote
0
down vote

favorite












As stated I know the answer to the title is a hard no, but hear me out.



I started a side business setting up video game clubs for libraries and schools in my area while I was in college. Eventually I graduated and picked up a full time job and no longer had as much time to answer emails, develop content, troubleshoot, etc. I tapped a couple of friends to help me with the process. Over time, I handed over more of the work to one friend in particular, we'll call her Rose.



Rose has been handling the lion's share of the business under my supervision for about two years now. She's just starting to job hunt, and her experiences working for me make up a decent portion of her work experience. If the case were that cut and dry I'd certainly be willing to be a reference for her due to her great work ethic and the quality of work she's been producing.



But there's a twist; we're girlfriends as of about five months ago. Now there's a clear conflict of interest, even though at the time she started working for me and for the duration of about a year and a half we were just friends.



Can I ethically be a reference for her now? I'd like to think I can be objective based on her performance before we got together, although I accept that I probably carry some bias. Obviously it looks worse if she can't put someone down as a point of contact for the work she did, but I'm not sure if I'm "allowed" to speak about her now. If I can, should I be disclosing our relationship or not?









share







New contributor




Alex is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.



















  • I'd like to avoid any conversations as to the ethics of her working for me; at this point it's a casual partnership as we EOL the few clients we have left since neither of us has time to maintain the business so that aspect will quickly stop being an issue.
    – Alex
    46 secs ago
















up vote
0
down vote

favorite












As stated I know the answer to the title is a hard no, but hear me out.



I started a side business setting up video game clubs for libraries and schools in my area while I was in college. Eventually I graduated and picked up a full time job and no longer had as much time to answer emails, develop content, troubleshoot, etc. I tapped a couple of friends to help me with the process. Over time, I handed over more of the work to one friend in particular, we'll call her Rose.



Rose has been handling the lion's share of the business under my supervision for about two years now. She's just starting to job hunt, and her experiences working for me make up a decent portion of her work experience. If the case were that cut and dry I'd certainly be willing to be a reference for her due to her great work ethic and the quality of work she's been producing.



But there's a twist; we're girlfriends as of about five months ago. Now there's a clear conflict of interest, even though at the time she started working for me and for the duration of about a year and a half we were just friends.



Can I ethically be a reference for her now? I'd like to think I can be objective based on her performance before we got together, although I accept that I probably carry some bias. Obviously it looks worse if she can't put someone down as a point of contact for the work she did, but I'm not sure if I'm "allowed" to speak about her now. If I can, should I be disclosing our relationship or not?









share







New contributor




Alex is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.



















  • I'd like to avoid any conversations as to the ethics of her working for me; at this point it's a casual partnership as we EOL the few clients we have left since neither of us has time to maintain the business so that aspect will quickly stop being an issue.
    – Alex
    46 secs ago












up vote
0
down vote

favorite









up vote
0
down vote

favorite











As stated I know the answer to the title is a hard no, but hear me out.



I started a side business setting up video game clubs for libraries and schools in my area while I was in college. Eventually I graduated and picked up a full time job and no longer had as much time to answer emails, develop content, troubleshoot, etc. I tapped a couple of friends to help me with the process. Over time, I handed over more of the work to one friend in particular, we'll call her Rose.



Rose has been handling the lion's share of the business under my supervision for about two years now. She's just starting to job hunt, and her experiences working for me make up a decent portion of her work experience. If the case were that cut and dry I'd certainly be willing to be a reference for her due to her great work ethic and the quality of work she's been producing.



But there's a twist; we're girlfriends as of about five months ago. Now there's a clear conflict of interest, even though at the time she started working for me and for the duration of about a year and a half we were just friends.



Can I ethically be a reference for her now? I'd like to think I can be objective based on her performance before we got together, although I accept that I probably carry some bias. Obviously it looks worse if she can't put someone down as a point of contact for the work she did, but I'm not sure if I'm "allowed" to speak about her now. If I can, should I be disclosing our relationship or not?









share







New contributor




Alex is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.











As stated I know the answer to the title is a hard no, but hear me out.



I started a side business setting up video game clubs for libraries and schools in my area while I was in college. Eventually I graduated and picked up a full time job and no longer had as much time to answer emails, develop content, troubleshoot, etc. I tapped a couple of friends to help me with the process. Over time, I handed over more of the work to one friend in particular, we'll call her Rose.



Rose has been handling the lion's share of the business under my supervision for about two years now. She's just starting to job hunt, and her experiences working for me make up a decent portion of her work experience. If the case were that cut and dry I'd certainly be willing to be a reference for her due to her great work ethic and the quality of work she's been producing.



But there's a twist; we're girlfriends as of about five months ago. Now there's a clear conflict of interest, even though at the time she started working for me and for the duration of about a year and a half we were just friends.



Can I ethically be a reference for her now? I'd like to think I can be objective based on her performance before we got together, although I accept that I probably carry some bias. Obviously it looks worse if she can't put someone down as a point of contact for the work she did, but I'm not sure if I'm "allowed" to speak about her now. If I can, should I be disclosing our relationship or not?







references relationships





share







New contributor




Alex is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.










share







New contributor




Alex is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.








share



share






New contributor




Alex is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.









asked 3 mins ago









Alex

1012




1012




New contributor




Alex is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.





New contributor





Alex is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.






Alex is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.











  • I'd like to avoid any conversations as to the ethics of her working for me; at this point it's a casual partnership as we EOL the few clients we have left since neither of us has time to maintain the business so that aspect will quickly stop being an issue.
    – Alex
    46 secs ago
















  • I'd like to avoid any conversations as to the ethics of her working for me; at this point it's a casual partnership as we EOL the few clients we have left since neither of us has time to maintain the business so that aspect will quickly stop being an issue.
    – Alex
    46 secs ago















I'd like to avoid any conversations as to the ethics of her working for me; at this point it's a casual partnership as we EOL the few clients we have left since neither of us has time to maintain the business so that aspect will quickly stop being an issue.
– Alex
46 secs ago




I'd like to avoid any conversations as to the ethics of her working for me; at this point it's a casual partnership as we EOL the few clients we have left since neither of us has time to maintain the business so that aspect will quickly stop being an issue.
– Alex
46 secs ago















active

oldest

votes











Your Answer







StackExchange.ready(function()
var channelOptions =
tags: "".split(" "),
id: "423"
;
initTagRenderer("".split(" "), "".split(" "), channelOptions);

StackExchange.using("externalEditor", function()
// Have to fire editor after snippets, if snippets enabled
if (StackExchange.settings.snippets.snippetsEnabled)
StackExchange.using("snippets", function()
createEditor();
);

else
createEditor();

);

function createEditor()
StackExchange.prepareEditor(
heartbeatType: 'answer',
convertImagesToLinks: false,
noModals: false,
showLowRepImageUploadWarning: true,
reputationToPostImages: null,
bindNavPrevention: true,
postfix: "",
noCode: true, onDemand: true,
discardSelector: ".discard-answer"
,immediatelyShowMarkdownHelp:true
);



);






Alex is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.









 

draft saved


draft discarded


















StackExchange.ready(
function ()
StackExchange.openid.initPostLogin('.new-post-login', 'https%3a%2f%2fworkplace.stackexchange.com%2fquestions%2f120976%2fcan-i-be-a-reference-for-my-girlfriend%23new-answer', 'question_page');

);

Post as a guest



































active

oldest

votes













active

oldest

votes









active

oldest

votes






active

oldest

votes








Alex is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.









 

draft saved


draft discarded


















Alex is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.












Alex is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.











Alex is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.













 


draft saved


draft discarded














StackExchange.ready(
function ()
StackExchange.openid.initPostLogin('.new-post-login', 'https%3a%2f%2fworkplace.stackexchange.com%2fquestions%2f120976%2fcan-i-be-a-reference-for-my-girlfriend%23new-answer', 'question_page');

);

Post as a guest













































































Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Long meetings (6-7 hours a day): Being “babysat” by supervisor

Is the Concept of Multiple Fantasy Races Scientifically Flawed? [closed]

Confectionery