An idiom for encourging asskissing

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How can I encourage someone to suck up even to the meanest of a person when sucking secures a privilege to the one sucking? In Arabic, an expression draws this image:




If a dog has something you need, address it as 'master'.




I'm not looking for an English expression that exactly mirrors this, but the closer the better.



Here's an example of how I intend to use the English expression:




Husband: My stupid manager has declined my request for a pay rise. I've been working with him for over 10 years. I know he doesn't like me because I don't suck up to him as the rest do. A new hire gets paid more than I do. Would you believe that?!



Wife: .....











share|improve this question























  • Question - are you looking for the reply to be a known idiom, or just any witty reply? Is this serious drama, or comedy?
    – Astralbee
    2 hours ago










  • Your "example" makes it crystal clear you want to be as disparaging as possible towards both your boss and any other workers who "suck up to him", in which case you're really spoilt for choice with expressions like toadying, brown-nosing, ass-licking, be obsequious / servile / sycophantic towards, bow and scrape, etc., etc. But for anyone who wanted to take a more pragmatic line (and perhaps also actually get a pay rise), it's worth remembering that He who pays the piper calls the tune.
    – FumbleFingers
    2 hours ago











  • @Astralbee it doesn't have to be a very common expression. I'm just looking for the closest fit for the image in the Arabic expression. I'm not looking for a witty reply straying from this.
    – Sara
    2 hours ago







  • 1




    @Sara Ok that's helpful. I've amended my answer slightly since you added in the context you want to use it.
    – Astralbee
    2 hours ago






  • 1




    But you should know that "the image in the Arabic expression" is essentially bound to Arabic culture as much as "idiomatic usage". Any attempt at a "literal translation" would probably be understood in English, because of the context in which it might be used. But the underlying "imagery" is effectively "alien" to Anglophones. In which context it might be worth noting that Anglophones in general don't use "dog" as an insult like this anywhere near as much as many other cultures / languages (though we do rather go overboard with bitch as an insulting term for women).
    – FumbleFingers
    2 hours ago

















up vote
1
down vote

favorite












How can I encourage someone to suck up even to the meanest of a person when sucking secures a privilege to the one sucking? In Arabic, an expression draws this image:




If a dog has something you need, address it as 'master'.




I'm not looking for an English expression that exactly mirrors this, but the closer the better.



Here's an example of how I intend to use the English expression:




Husband: My stupid manager has declined my request for a pay rise. I've been working with him for over 10 years. I know he doesn't like me because I don't suck up to him as the rest do. A new hire gets paid more than I do. Would you believe that?!



Wife: .....











share|improve this question























  • Question - are you looking for the reply to be a known idiom, or just any witty reply? Is this serious drama, or comedy?
    – Astralbee
    2 hours ago










  • Your "example" makes it crystal clear you want to be as disparaging as possible towards both your boss and any other workers who "suck up to him", in which case you're really spoilt for choice with expressions like toadying, brown-nosing, ass-licking, be obsequious / servile / sycophantic towards, bow and scrape, etc., etc. But for anyone who wanted to take a more pragmatic line (and perhaps also actually get a pay rise), it's worth remembering that He who pays the piper calls the tune.
    – FumbleFingers
    2 hours ago











  • @Astralbee it doesn't have to be a very common expression. I'm just looking for the closest fit for the image in the Arabic expression. I'm not looking for a witty reply straying from this.
    – Sara
    2 hours ago







  • 1




    @Sara Ok that's helpful. I've amended my answer slightly since you added in the context you want to use it.
    – Astralbee
    2 hours ago






  • 1




    But you should know that "the image in the Arabic expression" is essentially bound to Arabic culture as much as "idiomatic usage". Any attempt at a "literal translation" would probably be understood in English, because of the context in which it might be used. But the underlying "imagery" is effectively "alien" to Anglophones. In which context it might be worth noting that Anglophones in general don't use "dog" as an insult like this anywhere near as much as many other cultures / languages (though we do rather go overboard with bitch as an insulting term for women).
    – FumbleFingers
    2 hours ago













up vote
1
down vote

favorite









up vote
1
down vote

favorite











How can I encourage someone to suck up even to the meanest of a person when sucking secures a privilege to the one sucking? In Arabic, an expression draws this image:




If a dog has something you need, address it as 'master'.




I'm not looking for an English expression that exactly mirrors this, but the closer the better.



Here's an example of how I intend to use the English expression:




Husband: My stupid manager has declined my request for a pay rise. I've been working with him for over 10 years. I know he doesn't like me because I don't suck up to him as the rest do. A new hire gets paid more than I do. Would you believe that?!



Wife: .....











share|improve this question















How can I encourage someone to suck up even to the meanest of a person when sucking secures a privilege to the one sucking? In Arabic, an expression draws this image:




If a dog has something you need, address it as 'master'.




I'm not looking for an English expression that exactly mirrors this, but the closer the better.



Here's an example of how I intend to use the English expression:




Husband: My stupid manager has declined my request for a pay rise. I've been working with him for over 10 years. I know he doesn't like me because I don't suck up to him as the rest do. A new hire gets paid more than I do. Would you believe that?!



Wife: .....








phrase-request






share|improve this question















share|improve this question













share|improve this question




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edited 2 hours ago

























asked 3 hours ago









Sara

1,3712827




1,3712827











  • Question - are you looking for the reply to be a known idiom, or just any witty reply? Is this serious drama, or comedy?
    – Astralbee
    2 hours ago










  • Your "example" makes it crystal clear you want to be as disparaging as possible towards both your boss and any other workers who "suck up to him", in which case you're really spoilt for choice with expressions like toadying, brown-nosing, ass-licking, be obsequious / servile / sycophantic towards, bow and scrape, etc., etc. But for anyone who wanted to take a more pragmatic line (and perhaps also actually get a pay rise), it's worth remembering that He who pays the piper calls the tune.
    – FumbleFingers
    2 hours ago











  • @Astralbee it doesn't have to be a very common expression. I'm just looking for the closest fit for the image in the Arabic expression. I'm not looking for a witty reply straying from this.
    – Sara
    2 hours ago







  • 1




    @Sara Ok that's helpful. I've amended my answer slightly since you added in the context you want to use it.
    – Astralbee
    2 hours ago






  • 1




    But you should know that "the image in the Arabic expression" is essentially bound to Arabic culture as much as "idiomatic usage". Any attempt at a "literal translation" would probably be understood in English, because of the context in which it might be used. But the underlying "imagery" is effectively "alien" to Anglophones. In which context it might be worth noting that Anglophones in general don't use "dog" as an insult like this anywhere near as much as many other cultures / languages (though we do rather go overboard with bitch as an insulting term for women).
    – FumbleFingers
    2 hours ago

















  • Question - are you looking for the reply to be a known idiom, or just any witty reply? Is this serious drama, or comedy?
    – Astralbee
    2 hours ago










  • Your "example" makes it crystal clear you want to be as disparaging as possible towards both your boss and any other workers who "suck up to him", in which case you're really spoilt for choice with expressions like toadying, brown-nosing, ass-licking, be obsequious / servile / sycophantic towards, bow and scrape, etc., etc. But for anyone who wanted to take a more pragmatic line (and perhaps also actually get a pay rise), it's worth remembering that He who pays the piper calls the tune.
    – FumbleFingers
    2 hours ago











  • @Astralbee it doesn't have to be a very common expression. I'm just looking for the closest fit for the image in the Arabic expression. I'm not looking for a witty reply straying from this.
    – Sara
    2 hours ago







  • 1




    @Sara Ok that's helpful. I've amended my answer slightly since you added in the context you want to use it.
    – Astralbee
    2 hours ago






  • 1




    But you should know that "the image in the Arabic expression" is essentially bound to Arabic culture as much as "idiomatic usage". Any attempt at a "literal translation" would probably be understood in English, because of the context in which it might be used. But the underlying "imagery" is effectively "alien" to Anglophones. In which context it might be worth noting that Anglophones in general don't use "dog" as an insult like this anywhere near as much as many other cultures / languages (though we do rather go overboard with bitch as an insulting term for women).
    – FumbleFingers
    2 hours ago
















Question - are you looking for the reply to be a known idiom, or just any witty reply? Is this serious drama, or comedy?
– Astralbee
2 hours ago




Question - are you looking for the reply to be a known idiom, or just any witty reply? Is this serious drama, or comedy?
– Astralbee
2 hours ago












Your "example" makes it crystal clear you want to be as disparaging as possible towards both your boss and any other workers who "suck up to him", in which case you're really spoilt for choice with expressions like toadying, brown-nosing, ass-licking, be obsequious / servile / sycophantic towards, bow and scrape, etc., etc. But for anyone who wanted to take a more pragmatic line (and perhaps also actually get a pay rise), it's worth remembering that He who pays the piper calls the tune.
– FumbleFingers
2 hours ago





Your "example" makes it crystal clear you want to be as disparaging as possible towards both your boss and any other workers who "suck up to him", in which case you're really spoilt for choice with expressions like toadying, brown-nosing, ass-licking, be obsequious / servile / sycophantic towards, bow and scrape, etc., etc. But for anyone who wanted to take a more pragmatic line (and perhaps also actually get a pay rise), it's worth remembering that He who pays the piper calls the tune.
– FumbleFingers
2 hours ago













@Astralbee it doesn't have to be a very common expression. I'm just looking for the closest fit for the image in the Arabic expression. I'm not looking for a witty reply straying from this.
– Sara
2 hours ago





@Astralbee it doesn't have to be a very common expression. I'm just looking for the closest fit for the image in the Arabic expression. I'm not looking for a witty reply straying from this.
– Sara
2 hours ago





1




1




@Sara Ok that's helpful. I've amended my answer slightly since you added in the context you want to use it.
– Astralbee
2 hours ago




@Sara Ok that's helpful. I've amended my answer slightly since you added in the context you want to use it.
– Astralbee
2 hours ago




1




1




But you should know that "the image in the Arabic expression" is essentially bound to Arabic culture as much as "idiomatic usage". Any attempt at a "literal translation" would probably be understood in English, because of the context in which it might be used. But the underlying "imagery" is effectively "alien" to Anglophones. In which context it might be worth noting that Anglophones in general don't use "dog" as an insult like this anywhere near as much as many other cultures / languages (though we do rather go overboard with bitch as an insulting term for women).
– FumbleFingers
2 hours ago





But you should know that "the image in the Arabic expression" is essentially bound to Arabic culture as much as "idiomatic usage". Any attempt at a "literal translation" would probably be understood in English, because of the context in which it might be used. But the underlying "imagery" is effectively "alien" to Anglophones. In which context it might be worth noting that Anglophones in general don't use "dog" as an insult like this anywhere near as much as many other cultures / languages (though we do rather go overboard with bitch as an insulting term for women).
– FumbleFingers
2 hours ago











2 Answers
2






active

oldest

votes

















up vote
5
down vote













One possibility is:




You should know which side your bread is buttered on.




It doesn't go as far as to advise outright ass-kissing, but it does advise to be aware that you need to remain in the good graces of someone who has such power over your life.






share|improve this answer



























    up vote
    4
    down vote













    There are certainly words which mean "ass-kissing", such as:



    • "grovel" - act obsequiously in order to obtain favour.

    • "kowtow" - to act in an excessively subservient manner.

    • "ingratiate" - to gain favour by deliberate effort

    • "fawning" - seeking approval or favour by means of flattery

    And people who do so may be called a "sycophant" or, more informally, a "toady".



    I have a suggestion - there is a known saying about obeying authority figures unquestioningly which is:




    If your boss tells you to jump, you ask "how high?"




    You could use this expression in the example you gave, and I think it would fit perfectly. But you could also adapt it slightly if you really wanted to keep on the subject of "ass kissing".




    Husband: My manager wants me to kiss his ass.



    Wife: Honey, if your manager wants you to kiss his ass you ask him "which cheek first?"







    share|improve this answer






















    • That's perfect! it's witty and to the point. Thank you! But what if it's not about a boss? Is there a way to make it work with anyone other than a boss?
      – Sara
      2 hours ago







    • 1




      @Sara the expression "when I say 'jump' you say 'how high'" is associated with anyone in authority, for example drill sergeants in the military training new recruits. Although it's so old I'm sure they have any number of new ones they use these days. It's also more of a "top-down" argument, in that it's said by someone in authority, and not normally used by those doing the jumping.
      – Andrew
      2 hours ago











    • @Andrew and Astralbee, I've found a somewhat common Turkish expression: Call the bear uncle till you are safe across the bridge if it was to be said in the space above, would it make sense, convey the meaning and above all sound pleasant to your native ear?
      – Sara
      1 hour ago







    • 1




      @Sara "Call the bear 'uncle' until you are safely across the bridge" but yeah, it makes perfect sense. I think these kind of sentiments easily span any language barriers. :) Although you should be aware that, at least in the US, Russia is frequently referred to as a bear, so many might think this a reference to that country, or its foreign policy.
      – Andrew
      1 hour ago











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    2 Answers
    2






    active

    oldest

    votes








    2 Answers
    2






    active

    oldest

    votes









    active

    oldest

    votes






    active

    oldest

    votes








    up vote
    5
    down vote













    One possibility is:




    You should know which side your bread is buttered on.




    It doesn't go as far as to advise outright ass-kissing, but it does advise to be aware that you need to remain in the good graces of someone who has such power over your life.






    share|improve this answer
























      up vote
      5
      down vote













      One possibility is:




      You should know which side your bread is buttered on.




      It doesn't go as far as to advise outright ass-kissing, but it does advise to be aware that you need to remain in the good graces of someone who has such power over your life.






      share|improve this answer






















        up vote
        5
        down vote










        up vote
        5
        down vote









        One possibility is:




        You should know which side your bread is buttered on.




        It doesn't go as far as to advise outright ass-kissing, but it does advise to be aware that you need to remain in the good graces of someone who has such power over your life.






        share|improve this answer












        One possibility is:




        You should know which side your bread is buttered on.




        It doesn't go as far as to advise outright ass-kissing, but it does advise to be aware that you need to remain in the good graces of someone who has such power over your life.







        share|improve this answer












        share|improve this answer



        share|improve this answer










        answered 3 hours ago









        Tᴚoɯɐuo

        97.8k671161




        97.8k671161






















            up vote
            4
            down vote













            There are certainly words which mean "ass-kissing", such as:



            • "grovel" - act obsequiously in order to obtain favour.

            • "kowtow" - to act in an excessively subservient manner.

            • "ingratiate" - to gain favour by deliberate effort

            • "fawning" - seeking approval or favour by means of flattery

            And people who do so may be called a "sycophant" or, more informally, a "toady".



            I have a suggestion - there is a known saying about obeying authority figures unquestioningly which is:




            If your boss tells you to jump, you ask "how high?"




            You could use this expression in the example you gave, and I think it would fit perfectly. But you could also adapt it slightly if you really wanted to keep on the subject of "ass kissing".




            Husband: My manager wants me to kiss his ass.



            Wife: Honey, if your manager wants you to kiss his ass you ask him "which cheek first?"







            share|improve this answer






















            • That's perfect! it's witty and to the point. Thank you! But what if it's not about a boss? Is there a way to make it work with anyone other than a boss?
              – Sara
              2 hours ago







            • 1




              @Sara the expression "when I say 'jump' you say 'how high'" is associated with anyone in authority, for example drill sergeants in the military training new recruits. Although it's so old I'm sure they have any number of new ones they use these days. It's also more of a "top-down" argument, in that it's said by someone in authority, and not normally used by those doing the jumping.
              – Andrew
              2 hours ago











            • @Andrew and Astralbee, I've found a somewhat common Turkish expression: Call the bear uncle till you are safe across the bridge if it was to be said in the space above, would it make sense, convey the meaning and above all sound pleasant to your native ear?
              – Sara
              1 hour ago







            • 1




              @Sara "Call the bear 'uncle' until you are safely across the bridge" but yeah, it makes perfect sense. I think these kind of sentiments easily span any language barriers. :) Although you should be aware that, at least in the US, Russia is frequently referred to as a bear, so many might think this a reference to that country, or its foreign policy.
              – Andrew
              1 hour ago















            up vote
            4
            down vote













            There are certainly words which mean "ass-kissing", such as:



            • "grovel" - act obsequiously in order to obtain favour.

            • "kowtow" - to act in an excessively subservient manner.

            • "ingratiate" - to gain favour by deliberate effort

            • "fawning" - seeking approval or favour by means of flattery

            And people who do so may be called a "sycophant" or, more informally, a "toady".



            I have a suggestion - there is a known saying about obeying authority figures unquestioningly which is:




            If your boss tells you to jump, you ask "how high?"




            You could use this expression in the example you gave, and I think it would fit perfectly. But you could also adapt it slightly if you really wanted to keep on the subject of "ass kissing".




            Husband: My manager wants me to kiss his ass.



            Wife: Honey, if your manager wants you to kiss his ass you ask him "which cheek first?"







            share|improve this answer






















            • That's perfect! it's witty and to the point. Thank you! But what if it's not about a boss? Is there a way to make it work with anyone other than a boss?
              – Sara
              2 hours ago







            • 1




              @Sara the expression "when I say 'jump' you say 'how high'" is associated with anyone in authority, for example drill sergeants in the military training new recruits. Although it's so old I'm sure they have any number of new ones they use these days. It's also more of a "top-down" argument, in that it's said by someone in authority, and not normally used by those doing the jumping.
              – Andrew
              2 hours ago











            • @Andrew and Astralbee, I've found a somewhat common Turkish expression: Call the bear uncle till you are safe across the bridge if it was to be said in the space above, would it make sense, convey the meaning and above all sound pleasant to your native ear?
              – Sara
              1 hour ago







            • 1




              @Sara "Call the bear 'uncle' until you are safely across the bridge" but yeah, it makes perfect sense. I think these kind of sentiments easily span any language barriers. :) Although you should be aware that, at least in the US, Russia is frequently referred to as a bear, so many might think this a reference to that country, or its foreign policy.
              – Andrew
              1 hour ago













            up vote
            4
            down vote










            up vote
            4
            down vote









            There are certainly words which mean "ass-kissing", such as:



            • "grovel" - act obsequiously in order to obtain favour.

            • "kowtow" - to act in an excessively subservient manner.

            • "ingratiate" - to gain favour by deliberate effort

            • "fawning" - seeking approval or favour by means of flattery

            And people who do so may be called a "sycophant" or, more informally, a "toady".



            I have a suggestion - there is a known saying about obeying authority figures unquestioningly which is:




            If your boss tells you to jump, you ask "how high?"




            You could use this expression in the example you gave, and I think it would fit perfectly. But you could also adapt it slightly if you really wanted to keep on the subject of "ass kissing".




            Husband: My manager wants me to kiss his ass.



            Wife: Honey, if your manager wants you to kiss his ass you ask him "which cheek first?"







            share|improve this answer














            There are certainly words which mean "ass-kissing", such as:



            • "grovel" - act obsequiously in order to obtain favour.

            • "kowtow" - to act in an excessively subservient manner.

            • "ingratiate" - to gain favour by deliberate effort

            • "fawning" - seeking approval or favour by means of flattery

            And people who do so may be called a "sycophant" or, more informally, a "toady".



            I have a suggestion - there is a known saying about obeying authority figures unquestioningly which is:




            If your boss tells you to jump, you ask "how high?"




            You could use this expression in the example you gave, and I think it would fit perfectly. But you could also adapt it slightly if you really wanted to keep on the subject of "ass kissing".




            Husband: My manager wants me to kiss his ass.



            Wife: Honey, if your manager wants you to kiss his ass you ask him "which cheek first?"








            share|improve this answer














            share|improve this answer



            share|improve this answer








            edited 2 hours ago

























            answered 2 hours ago









            Astralbee

            7,713530




            7,713530











            • That's perfect! it's witty and to the point. Thank you! But what if it's not about a boss? Is there a way to make it work with anyone other than a boss?
              – Sara
              2 hours ago







            • 1




              @Sara the expression "when I say 'jump' you say 'how high'" is associated with anyone in authority, for example drill sergeants in the military training new recruits. Although it's so old I'm sure they have any number of new ones they use these days. It's also more of a "top-down" argument, in that it's said by someone in authority, and not normally used by those doing the jumping.
              – Andrew
              2 hours ago











            • @Andrew and Astralbee, I've found a somewhat common Turkish expression: Call the bear uncle till you are safe across the bridge if it was to be said in the space above, would it make sense, convey the meaning and above all sound pleasant to your native ear?
              – Sara
              1 hour ago







            • 1




              @Sara "Call the bear 'uncle' until you are safely across the bridge" but yeah, it makes perfect sense. I think these kind of sentiments easily span any language barriers. :) Although you should be aware that, at least in the US, Russia is frequently referred to as a bear, so many might think this a reference to that country, or its foreign policy.
              – Andrew
              1 hour ago

















            • That's perfect! it's witty and to the point. Thank you! But what if it's not about a boss? Is there a way to make it work with anyone other than a boss?
              – Sara
              2 hours ago







            • 1




              @Sara the expression "when I say 'jump' you say 'how high'" is associated with anyone in authority, for example drill sergeants in the military training new recruits. Although it's so old I'm sure they have any number of new ones they use these days. It's also more of a "top-down" argument, in that it's said by someone in authority, and not normally used by those doing the jumping.
              – Andrew
              2 hours ago











            • @Andrew and Astralbee, I've found a somewhat common Turkish expression: Call the bear uncle till you are safe across the bridge if it was to be said in the space above, would it make sense, convey the meaning and above all sound pleasant to your native ear?
              – Sara
              1 hour ago







            • 1




              @Sara "Call the bear 'uncle' until you are safely across the bridge" but yeah, it makes perfect sense. I think these kind of sentiments easily span any language barriers. :) Although you should be aware that, at least in the US, Russia is frequently referred to as a bear, so many might think this a reference to that country, or its foreign policy.
              – Andrew
              1 hour ago
















            That's perfect! it's witty and to the point. Thank you! But what if it's not about a boss? Is there a way to make it work with anyone other than a boss?
            – Sara
            2 hours ago





            That's perfect! it's witty and to the point. Thank you! But what if it's not about a boss? Is there a way to make it work with anyone other than a boss?
            – Sara
            2 hours ago





            1




            1




            @Sara the expression "when I say 'jump' you say 'how high'" is associated with anyone in authority, for example drill sergeants in the military training new recruits. Although it's so old I'm sure they have any number of new ones they use these days. It's also more of a "top-down" argument, in that it's said by someone in authority, and not normally used by those doing the jumping.
            – Andrew
            2 hours ago





            @Sara the expression "when I say 'jump' you say 'how high'" is associated with anyone in authority, for example drill sergeants in the military training new recruits. Although it's so old I'm sure they have any number of new ones they use these days. It's also more of a "top-down" argument, in that it's said by someone in authority, and not normally used by those doing the jumping.
            – Andrew
            2 hours ago













            @Andrew and Astralbee, I've found a somewhat common Turkish expression: Call the bear uncle till you are safe across the bridge if it was to be said in the space above, would it make sense, convey the meaning and above all sound pleasant to your native ear?
            – Sara
            1 hour ago





            @Andrew and Astralbee, I've found a somewhat common Turkish expression: Call the bear uncle till you are safe across the bridge if it was to be said in the space above, would it make sense, convey the meaning and above all sound pleasant to your native ear?
            – Sara
            1 hour ago





            1




            1




            @Sara "Call the bear 'uncle' until you are safely across the bridge" but yeah, it makes perfect sense. I think these kind of sentiments easily span any language barriers. :) Although you should be aware that, at least in the US, Russia is frequently referred to as a bear, so many might think this a reference to that country, or its foreign policy.
            – Andrew
            1 hour ago





            @Sara "Call the bear 'uncle' until you are safely across the bridge" but yeah, it makes perfect sense. I think these kind of sentiments easily span any language barriers. :) Although you should be aware that, at least in the US, Russia is frequently referred to as a bear, so many might think this a reference to that country, or its foreign policy.
            – Andrew
            1 hour ago


















             

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