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Workplace gossip makes me uncomfortable - how do I deal with it?
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At some of my jobs people love to gossip about each other. I don't like to participate in gossip.
I've found that if I speak up to tell these people that I believe gossipping is bad, I become a bigger target for the gossip itself.
Am I right to try to stop gossip from occurring? If so, how can I address it without causing problems or making myself a target?
professionalism colleagues
edited Apr 12 '12 at 20:04
Nicole
6,69574151
asked Apr 10 '12 at 21:11
Lucas Kauffman
7501217
add a comment |Â
up vote
38
down vote
favorite
At some of my jobs people love to gossip about each other. I don't like to participate in gossip.
I've found that if I speak up to tell these people that I believe gossipping is bad, I become a bigger target for the gossip itself.
Am I right to try to stop gossip from occurring? If so, how can I address it without causing problems or making myself a target?
professionalism colleagues
edited Apr 12 '12 at 20:04
Nicole
6,69574151
asked Apr 10 '12 at 21:11
Lucas Kauffman
7501217
+1--I've run into this as well, and I'm sure a lot of people have. I've definitely taken the refusing-to-participate route. By not making the gossips feel judged, while not participating, I've pretty much kept out of trouble, but it's far from perfect.
– RSid
Apr 10 '12 at 21:20
Related meta discussion: meta.workplace.stackexchange.com/questions/35/…
– Shog9♦
Apr 11 '12 at 17:36
@Shog9 and everyone, after reading Robert's answer, I edited this question to make it less generic and more specifically answerable.
– Nicole
Apr 12 '12 at 20:04
add a comment |Â
up vote
38
down vote
favorite
up vote
38
down vote
favorite
At some of my jobs people love to gossip about each other. I don't like to participate in gossip.
I've found that if I speak up to tell these people that I believe gossipping is bad, I become a bigger target for the gossip itself.
Am I right to try to stop gossip from occurring? If so, how can I address it without causing problems or making myself a target?
professionalism colleagues
edited Apr 12 '12 at 20:04
Nicole
6,69574151
asked Apr 10 '12 at 21:11
Lucas Kauffman
7501217
At some of my jobs people love to gossip about each other. I don't like to participate in gossip.
I've found that if I speak up to tell these people that I believe gossipping is bad, I become a bigger target for the gossip itself.
Am I right to try to stop gossip from occurring? If so, how can I address it without causing problems or making myself a target?
professionalism colleagues
edited Apr 12 '12 at 20:04
Nicole
6,69574151
asked Apr 10 '12 at 21:11
Lucas Kauffman
7501217
edited Apr 12 '12 at 20:04
Nicole
6,69574151
edited Apr 12 '12 at 20:04
Nicole
6,69574151
edited Apr 12 '12 at 20:04
Nicole
6,69574151
6,69574151
asked Apr 10 '12 at 21:11
Lucas Kauffman
7501217
asked Apr 10 '12 at 21:11
Lucas Kauffman
7501217
asked Apr 10 '12 at 21:11
Lucas Kauffman
7501217
7501217
+1--I've run into this as well, and I'm sure a lot of people have. I've definitely taken the refusing-to-participate route. By not making the gossips feel judged, while not participating, I've pretty much kept out of trouble, but it's far from perfect.
– RSid
Apr 10 '12 at 21:20
Related meta discussion: meta.workplace.stackexchange.com/questions/35/…
– Shog9♦
Apr 11 '12 at 17:36
@Shog9 and everyone, after reading Robert's answer, I edited this question to make it less generic and more specifically answerable.
– Nicole
Apr 12 '12 at 20:04
add a comment |Â
+1--I've run into this as well, and I'm sure a lot of people have. I've definitely taken the refusing-to-participate route. By not making the gossips feel judged, while not participating, I've pretty much kept out of trouble, but it's far from perfect.
– RSid
Apr 10 '12 at 21:20
Related meta discussion: meta.workplace.stackexchange.com/questions/35/…
– Shog9♦
Apr 11 '12 at 17:36
@Shog9 and everyone, after reading Robert's answer, I edited this question to make it less generic and more specifically answerable.
– Nicole
Apr 12 '12 at 20:04
+1--I've run into this as well, and I'm sure a lot of people have. I've definitely taken the refusing-to-participate route. By not making the gossips feel judged, while not participating, I've pretty much kept out of trouble, but it's far from perfect.
– RSid
Apr 10 '12 at 21:20
+1--I've run into this as well, and I'm sure a lot of people have. I've definitely taken the refusing-to-participate route. By not making the gossips feel judged, while not participating, I've pretty much kept out of trouble, but it's far from perfect.
– RSid
Apr 10 '12 at 21:20
Related meta discussion: meta.workplace.stackexchange.com/questions/35/…
– Shog9♦
Apr 11 '12 at 17:36
Related meta discussion: meta.workplace.stackexchange.com/questions/35/…
– Shog9♦
Apr 11 '12 at 17:36
@Shog9 and everyone, after reading Robert's answer, I edited this question to make it less generic and more specifically answerable.
– Nicole
Apr 12 '12 at 20:04
@Shog9 and everyone, after reading Robert's answer, I edited this question to make it less generic and more specifically answerable.
– Nicole
Apr 12 '12 at 20:04
add a comment |Â
5 Answers
5
active
oldest
votes
up vote
33
down vote
accepted
You are definitely setting the example by not participating. After that, it just depends on how assertive you want to be. For example, I had a friend who used to say things like,
"Is this a positive, uplifting conversation that will help us all move
forward?"
Feel free to paraphrase or borrow outright.
The other discipline I find useful is to reflect on the Rotary Four Way Test.
answered Apr 10 '12 at 21:18
Scott C Wilson
3,7872028
3
I'd also add the golden rule: "I don't like people talking about me if it's not constructive, so I wouldn't do that to others"
– Atif
Apr 12 '12 at 20:16
add a comment |Â
up vote
23
down vote
Feed into it!
Gossip is just another word for "information exchange". It only becomes a problem when it's harmful or incorrect. Folks naturally want to share information about each other and the company they work for, and trying to suppress it is futile; indeed, if you develop a reputation for shutting down gossip, you may find yourself "out of the loop" as your co-workers learn to recognize you as a buzz-kill. And by refusing to join in, you may actually be hurting yourself and others:
The study also found that gossip can be therapeutic. Volunteers’ heart rates increased when they witnessed someone behaving badly, but this increase was tempered when they were able to pass on the information to alert others.
“Spreading information about the person whom they had seen behave badly tended to make people feel better, quieting the frustration that drove their gossip,†Willer said.
So don't just listen. Participate! And make sure you're sharing helpful and accurate information, and encouraging others to do likewise.
...Or failing that, at least spread entertaining misinformation:
Mary: Did you hear about Janice? Her son got arrested for selling Ritalin at school!
Lucas: No, I didn't... But what a relief it is to hear she actually has a son! There was a rumor going around that her whole family was just a cover story, to hide her involvement in the Russian mafia!
answered Apr 11 '12 at 0:53
Shog9♦
354521
19
I want to both upvote and downvote this answer. You are a walking conundrum.
– hairboat♦
Apr 11 '12 at 1:02
Doing something bad only because it can decrease your heart rate seems to be very egoistic
– user1023
May 31 '12 at 12:03
4
@lechlukasz - that'd be pretty cold. But so is responding to someone who's upset and coming to you to vent with "you're being negative, quiet down". Understanding why people engage in potentially-harmful behavior is crucial to directing it in a positive direction, IMHO.
– Shog9♦
May 31 '12 at 17:01
add a comment |Â
up vote
11
down vote
There are many different kinds of gossip and they aren't all wrong. Gossip is how a culture establishes its norms. When someone tells you I saw Steve in the caf talking to Joe from another group, and they looked embarrassed and went quiet when they were spotted, they are telling you that leaving this group, especially stealthily, is against the group norms, or that secret conversations are against the group norms. That kind of gossip has its place. On the other hand if they're telling you I saw Steve at a restaurant last night talking to a woman who wasn't his wife, and they looked embarrassed and went quiet when they were spotted, that is not good gossip. I would reply "I can think of a thousand innocent reasons you would see that, and I can't think of a single reason we should be discussing it."
Lumping both conversations, along with I heard there might be more layoffs coming and The new XZ123 Mark IV is really spiffy, I can't wait till it's released as gossip is throwing away valuable information and not being hard enough on the personal prying and judging that constitutes bad gossip.
answered Apr 11 '12 at 14:02
Kate Gregory
105k40232334
add a comment |Â
up vote
8
down vote
Change the topic, shrug your shoulders, find a reason to leave the conversation. Don't defend or attack anyone, don't let the gossip thrive.
If you're in a group and someone starts gossiping, change the subject or revive the topic you were talking about before the gossip. Chances are if you're in a group of people someone else is just as uncomfortable as you are.
If you're alone and someone interrupts you or walks by your desk and tries to gossip, make up an excuse or just shrug. Say you don't know X person well enough to comment, say you've got to go to the rest room, something polite to get them to go away. They'll get the hint and you don't need to get in a big argument over who's a gossip.
answered Apr 10 '12 at 21:27
Rarity
4,37643457
add a comment |Â
up vote
7
down vote
Stay away. Don't get involved in that slippery slope. My recommendation is to walk away from those types of conversations or steer it back to a work-related matter. Another alternative if in a casual setting (like a lunch break) is to change the subject to something positive that everyone will enjoy discussing.
At the end of the day it is completely unprofessional, and leads to nothing positive or productive.
edited Apr 12 '12 at 20:07
Nicole
6,69574151
answered Apr 10 '12 at 21:16
atconway
2,03621630
add a comment |Â
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5 Answers
5
active
oldest
votes
5 Answers
5
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
up vote
33
down vote
accepted
You are definitely setting the example by not participating. After that, it just depends on how assertive you want to be. For example, I had a friend who used to say things like,
"Is this a positive, uplifting conversation that will help us all move
forward?"
Feel free to paraphrase or borrow outright.
The other discipline I find useful is to reflect on the Rotary Four Way Test.
answered Apr 10 '12 at 21:18
Scott C Wilson
3,7872028
3
I'd also add the golden rule: "I don't like people talking about me if it's not constructive, so I wouldn't do that to others"
– Atif
Apr 12 '12 at 20:16
add a comment |Â
up vote
33
down vote
accepted
You are definitely setting the example by not participating. After that, it just depends on how assertive you want to be. For example, I had a friend who used to say things like,
"Is this a positive, uplifting conversation that will help us all move
forward?"
Feel free to paraphrase or borrow outright.
The other discipline I find useful is to reflect on the Rotary Four Way Test.
answered Apr 10 '12 at 21:18
Scott C Wilson
3,7872028
3
I'd also add the golden rule: "I don't like people talking about me if it's not constructive, so I wouldn't do that to others"
– Atif
Apr 12 '12 at 20:16
add a comment |Â
up vote
33
down vote
accepted
up vote
33
down vote
accepted
You are definitely setting the example by not participating. After that, it just depends on how assertive you want to be. For example, I had a friend who used to say things like,
"Is this a positive, uplifting conversation that will help us all move
forward?"
Feel free to paraphrase or borrow outright.
The other discipline I find useful is to reflect on the Rotary Four Way Test.
answered Apr 10 '12 at 21:18
Scott C Wilson
3,7872028
You are definitely setting the example by not participating. After that, it just depends on how assertive you want to be. For example, I had a friend who used to say things like,
"Is this a positive, uplifting conversation that will help us all move
forward?"
Feel free to paraphrase or borrow outright.
The other discipline I find useful is to reflect on the Rotary Four Way Test.
answered Apr 10 '12 at 21:18
Scott C Wilson
3,7872028
answered Apr 10 '12 at 21:18
Scott C Wilson
3,7872028
answered Apr 10 '12 at 21:18
Scott C Wilson
3,7872028
answered Apr 10 '12 at 21:18
Scott C Wilson
3,7872028
3,7872028
3
I'd also add the golden rule: "I don't like people talking about me if it's not constructive, so I wouldn't do that to others"
– Atif
Apr 12 '12 at 20:16
add a comment |Â
3
I'd also add the golden rule: "I don't like people talking about me if it's not constructive, so I wouldn't do that to others"
– Atif
Apr 12 '12 at 20:16
3
3
I'd also add the golden rule: "I don't like people talking about me if it's not constructive, so I wouldn't do that to others"
– Atif
Apr 12 '12 at 20:16
I'd also add the golden rule: "I don't like people talking about me if it's not constructive, so I wouldn't do that to others"
– Atif
Apr 12 '12 at 20:16
add a comment |Â
up vote
23
down vote
Feed into it!
Gossip is just another word for "information exchange". It only becomes a problem when it's harmful or incorrect. Folks naturally want to share information about each other and the company they work for, and trying to suppress it is futile; indeed, if you develop a reputation for shutting down gossip, you may find yourself "out of the loop" as your co-workers learn to recognize you as a buzz-kill. And by refusing to join in, you may actually be hurting yourself and others:
The study also found that gossip can be therapeutic. Volunteers’ heart rates increased when they witnessed someone behaving badly, but this increase was tempered when they were able to pass on the information to alert others.
“Spreading information about the person whom they had seen behave badly tended to make people feel better, quieting the frustration that drove their gossip,†Willer said.
So don't just listen. Participate! And make sure you're sharing helpful and accurate information, and encouraging others to do likewise.
...Or failing that, at least spread entertaining misinformation:
Mary: Did you hear about Janice? Her son got arrested for selling Ritalin at school!
Lucas: No, I didn't... But what a relief it is to hear she actually has a son! There was a rumor going around that her whole family was just a cover story, to hide her involvement in the Russian mafia!
answered Apr 11 '12 at 0:53
Shog9♦
354521
19
I want to both upvote and downvote this answer. You are a walking conundrum.
– hairboat♦
Apr 11 '12 at 1:02
Doing something bad only because it can decrease your heart rate seems to be very egoistic
– user1023
May 31 '12 at 12:03
4
@lechlukasz - that'd be pretty cold. But so is responding to someone who's upset and coming to you to vent with "you're being negative, quiet down". Understanding why people engage in potentially-harmful behavior is crucial to directing it in a positive direction, IMHO.
– Shog9♦
May 31 '12 at 17:01
add a comment |Â
up vote
23
down vote
Feed into it!
Gossip is just another word for "information exchange". It only becomes a problem when it's harmful or incorrect. Folks naturally want to share information about each other and the company they work for, and trying to suppress it is futile; indeed, if you develop a reputation for shutting down gossip, you may find yourself "out of the loop" as your co-workers learn to recognize you as a buzz-kill. And by refusing to join in, you may actually be hurting yourself and others:
The study also found that gossip can be therapeutic. Volunteers’ heart rates increased when they witnessed someone behaving badly, but this increase was tempered when they were able to pass on the information to alert others.
“Spreading information about the person whom they had seen behave badly tended to make people feel better, quieting the frustration that drove their gossip,†Willer said.
So don't just listen. Participate! And make sure you're sharing helpful and accurate information, and encouraging others to do likewise.
...Or failing that, at least spread entertaining misinformation:
Mary: Did you hear about Janice? Her son got arrested for selling Ritalin at school!
Lucas: No, I didn't... But what a relief it is to hear she actually has a son! There was a rumor going around that her whole family was just a cover story, to hide her involvement in the Russian mafia!
answered Apr 11 '12 at 0:53
Shog9♦
354521
19
I want to both upvote and downvote this answer. You are a walking conundrum.
– hairboat♦
Apr 11 '12 at 1:02
Doing something bad only because it can decrease your heart rate seems to be very egoistic
– user1023
May 31 '12 at 12:03
4
@lechlukasz - that'd be pretty cold. But so is responding to someone who's upset and coming to you to vent with "you're being negative, quiet down". Understanding why people engage in potentially-harmful behavior is crucial to directing it in a positive direction, IMHO.
– Shog9♦
May 31 '12 at 17:01
add a comment |Â
up vote
23
down vote
up vote
23
down vote
Feed into it!
Gossip is just another word for "information exchange". It only becomes a problem when it's harmful or incorrect. Folks naturally want to share information about each other and the company they work for, and trying to suppress it is futile; indeed, if you develop a reputation for shutting down gossip, you may find yourself "out of the loop" as your co-workers learn to recognize you as a buzz-kill. And by refusing to join in, you may actually be hurting yourself and others:
The study also found that gossip can be therapeutic. Volunteers’ heart rates increased when they witnessed someone behaving badly, but this increase was tempered when they were able to pass on the information to alert others.
“Spreading information about the person whom they had seen behave badly tended to make people feel better, quieting the frustration that drove their gossip,†Willer said.
So don't just listen. Participate! And make sure you're sharing helpful and accurate information, and encouraging others to do likewise.
...Or failing that, at least spread entertaining misinformation:
Mary: Did you hear about Janice? Her son got arrested for selling Ritalin at school!
Lucas: No, I didn't... But what a relief it is to hear she actually has a son! There was a rumor going around that her whole family was just a cover story, to hide her involvement in the Russian mafia!
answered Apr 11 '12 at 0:53
Shog9♦
354521
Feed into it!
Gossip is just another word for "information exchange". It only becomes a problem when it's harmful or incorrect. Folks naturally want to share information about each other and the company they work for, and trying to suppress it is futile; indeed, if you develop a reputation for shutting down gossip, you may find yourself "out of the loop" as your co-workers learn to recognize you as a buzz-kill. And by refusing to join in, you may actually be hurting yourself and others:
The study also found that gossip can be therapeutic. Volunteers’ heart rates increased when they witnessed someone behaving badly, but this increase was tempered when they were able to pass on the information to alert others.
“Spreading information about the person whom they had seen behave badly tended to make people feel better, quieting the frustration that drove their gossip,†Willer said.
So don't just listen. Participate! And make sure you're sharing helpful and accurate information, and encouraging others to do likewise.
...Or failing that, at least spread entertaining misinformation:
Mary: Did you hear about Janice? Her son got arrested for selling Ritalin at school!
Lucas: No, I didn't... But what a relief it is to hear she actually has a son! There was a rumor going around that her whole family was just a cover story, to hide her involvement in the Russian mafia!
answered Apr 11 '12 at 0:53
Shog9♦
354521
answered Apr 11 '12 at 0:53
Shog9♦
354521
answered Apr 11 '12 at 0:53
Shog9♦
354521
answered Apr 11 '12 at 0:53
Shog9♦
354521
354521
19
I want to both upvote and downvote this answer. You are a walking conundrum.
– hairboat♦
Apr 11 '12 at 1:02
Doing something bad only because it can decrease your heart rate seems to be very egoistic
– user1023
May 31 '12 at 12:03
4
@lechlukasz - that'd be pretty cold. But so is responding to someone who's upset and coming to you to vent with "you're being negative, quiet down". Understanding why people engage in potentially-harmful behavior is crucial to directing it in a positive direction, IMHO.
– Shog9♦
May 31 '12 at 17:01
add a comment |Â
19
I want to both upvote and downvote this answer. You are a walking conundrum.
– hairboat♦
Apr 11 '12 at 1:02
Doing something bad only because it can decrease your heart rate seems to be very egoistic
– user1023
May 31 '12 at 12:03
4
@lechlukasz - that'd be pretty cold. But so is responding to someone who's upset and coming to you to vent with "you're being negative, quiet down". Understanding why people engage in potentially-harmful behavior is crucial to directing it in a positive direction, IMHO.
– Shog9♦
May 31 '12 at 17:01
19
19
I want to both upvote and downvote this answer. You are a walking conundrum.
– hairboat♦
Apr 11 '12 at 1:02
I want to both upvote and downvote this answer. You are a walking conundrum.
– hairboat♦
Apr 11 '12 at 1:02
Doing something bad only because it can decrease your heart rate seems to be very egoistic
– user1023
May 31 '12 at 12:03
Doing something bad only because it can decrease your heart rate seems to be very egoistic
– user1023
May 31 '12 at 12:03
4
4
@lechlukasz - that'd be pretty cold. But so is responding to someone who's upset and coming to you to vent with "you're being negative, quiet down". Understanding why people engage in potentially-harmful behavior is crucial to directing it in a positive direction, IMHO.
– Shog9♦
May 31 '12 at 17:01
@lechlukasz - that'd be pretty cold. But so is responding to someone who's upset and coming to you to vent with "you're being negative, quiet down". Understanding why people engage in potentially-harmful behavior is crucial to directing it in a positive direction, IMHO.
– Shog9♦
May 31 '12 at 17:01
add a comment |Â
up vote
11
down vote
There are many different kinds of gossip and they aren't all wrong. Gossip is how a culture establishes its norms. When someone tells you I saw Steve in the caf talking to Joe from another group, and they looked embarrassed and went quiet when they were spotted, they are telling you that leaving this group, especially stealthily, is against the group norms, or that secret conversations are against the group norms. That kind of gossip has its place. On the other hand if they're telling you I saw Steve at a restaurant last night talking to a woman who wasn't his wife, and they looked embarrassed and went quiet when they were spotted, that is not good gossip. I would reply "I can think of a thousand innocent reasons you would see that, and I can't think of a single reason we should be discussing it."
Lumping both conversations, along with I heard there might be more layoffs coming and The new XZ123 Mark IV is really spiffy, I can't wait till it's released as gossip is throwing away valuable information and not being hard enough on the personal prying and judging that constitutes bad gossip.
answered Apr 11 '12 at 14:02
Kate Gregory
105k40232334
add a comment |Â
up vote
11
down vote
There are many different kinds of gossip and they aren't all wrong. Gossip is how a culture establishes its norms. When someone tells you I saw Steve in the caf talking to Joe from another group, and they looked embarrassed and went quiet when they were spotted, they are telling you that leaving this group, especially stealthily, is against the group norms, or that secret conversations are against the group norms. That kind of gossip has its place. On the other hand if they're telling you I saw Steve at a restaurant last night talking to a woman who wasn't his wife, and they looked embarrassed and went quiet when they were spotted, that is not good gossip. I would reply "I can think of a thousand innocent reasons you would see that, and I can't think of a single reason we should be discussing it."
Lumping both conversations, along with I heard there might be more layoffs coming and The new XZ123 Mark IV is really spiffy, I can't wait till it's released as gossip is throwing away valuable information and not being hard enough on the personal prying and judging that constitutes bad gossip.
answered Apr 11 '12 at 14:02
Kate Gregory
105k40232334
add a comment |Â
up vote
11
down vote
up vote
11
down vote
There are many different kinds of gossip and they aren't all wrong. Gossip is how a culture establishes its norms. When someone tells you I saw Steve in the caf talking to Joe from another group, and they looked embarrassed and went quiet when they were spotted, they are telling you that leaving this group, especially stealthily, is against the group norms, or that secret conversations are against the group norms. That kind of gossip has its place. On the other hand if they're telling you I saw Steve at a restaurant last night talking to a woman who wasn't his wife, and they looked embarrassed and went quiet when they were spotted, that is not good gossip. I would reply "I can think of a thousand innocent reasons you would see that, and I can't think of a single reason we should be discussing it."
Lumping both conversations, along with I heard there might be more layoffs coming and The new XZ123 Mark IV is really spiffy, I can't wait till it's released as gossip is throwing away valuable information and not being hard enough on the personal prying and judging that constitutes bad gossip.
answered Apr 11 '12 at 14:02
Kate Gregory
105k40232334
There are many different kinds of gossip and they aren't all wrong. Gossip is how a culture establishes its norms. When someone tells you I saw Steve in the caf talking to Joe from another group, and they looked embarrassed and went quiet when they were spotted, they are telling you that leaving this group, especially stealthily, is against the group norms, or that secret conversations are against the group norms. That kind of gossip has its place. On the other hand if they're telling you I saw Steve at a restaurant last night talking to a woman who wasn't his wife, and they looked embarrassed and went quiet when they were spotted, that is not good gossip. I would reply "I can think of a thousand innocent reasons you would see that, and I can't think of a single reason we should be discussing it."
Lumping both conversations, along with I heard there might be more layoffs coming and The new XZ123 Mark IV is really spiffy, I can't wait till it's released as gossip is throwing away valuable information and not being hard enough on the personal prying and judging that constitutes bad gossip.
answered Apr 11 '12 at 14:02
Kate Gregory
105k40232334
answered Apr 11 '12 at 14:02
Kate Gregory
105k40232334
answered Apr 11 '12 at 14:02
Kate Gregory
105k40232334
answered Apr 11 '12 at 14:02
Kate Gregory
105k40232334
105k40232334
add a comment |Â
add a comment |Â
up vote
8
down vote
Change the topic, shrug your shoulders, find a reason to leave the conversation. Don't defend or attack anyone, don't let the gossip thrive.
If you're in a group and someone starts gossiping, change the subject or revive the topic you were talking about before the gossip. Chances are if you're in a group of people someone else is just as uncomfortable as you are.
If you're alone and someone interrupts you or walks by your desk and tries to gossip, make up an excuse or just shrug. Say you don't know X person well enough to comment, say you've got to go to the rest room, something polite to get them to go away. They'll get the hint and you don't need to get in a big argument over who's a gossip.
answered Apr 10 '12 at 21:27
Rarity
4,37643457
add a comment |Â
up vote
8
down vote
Change the topic, shrug your shoulders, find a reason to leave the conversation. Don't defend or attack anyone, don't let the gossip thrive.
If you're in a group and someone starts gossiping, change the subject or revive the topic you were talking about before the gossip. Chances are if you're in a group of people someone else is just as uncomfortable as you are.
If you're alone and someone interrupts you or walks by your desk and tries to gossip, make up an excuse or just shrug. Say you don't know X person well enough to comment, say you've got to go to the rest room, something polite to get them to go away. They'll get the hint and you don't need to get in a big argument over who's a gossip.
answered Apr 10 '12 at 21:27
Rarity
4,37643457
add a comment |Â
up vote
8
down vote
up vote
8
down vote
Change the topic, shrug your shoulders, find a reason to leave the conversation. Don't defend or attack anyone, don't let the gossip thrive.
If you're in a group and someone starts gossiping, change the subject or revive the topic you were talking about before the gossip. Chances are if you're in a group of people someone else is just as uncomfortable as you are.
If you're alone and someone interrupts you or walks by your desk and tries to gossip, make up an excuse or just shrug. Say you don't know X person well enough to comment, say you've got to go to the rest room, something polite to get them to go away. They'll get the hint and you don't need to get in a big argument over who's a gossip.
answered Apr 10 '12 at 21:27
Rarity
4,37643457
Change the topic, shrug your shoulders, find a reason to leave the conversation. Don't defend or attack anyone, don't let the gossip thrive.
If you're in a group and someone starts gossiping, change the subject or revive the topic you were talking about before the gossip. Chances are if you're in a group of people someone else is just as uncomfortable as you are.
If you're alone and someone interrupts you or walks by your desk and tries to gossip, make up an excuse or just shrug. Say you don't know X person well enough to comment, say you've got to go to the rest room, something polite to get them to go away. They'll get the hint and you don't need to get in a big argument over who's a gossip.
answered Apr 10 '12 at 21:27
Rarity
4,37643457
answered Apr 10 '12 at 21:27
Rarity
4,37643457
answered Apr 10 '12 at 21:27
Rarity
4,37643457
answered Apr 10 '12 at 21:27
Rarity
4,37643457
4,37643457
add a comment |Â
add a comment |Â
up vote
7
down vote
Stay away. Don't get involved in that slippery slope. My recommendation is to walk away from those types of conversations or steer it back to a work-related matter. Another alternative if in a casual setting (like a lunch break) is to change the subject to something positive that everyone will enjoy discussing.
At the end of the day it is completely unprofessional, and leads to nothing positive or productive.
edited Apr 12 '12 at 20:07
Nicole
6,69574151
answered Apr 10 '12 at 21:16
atconway
2,03621630
add a comment |Â
up vote
7
down vote
Stay away. Don't get involved in that slippery slope. My recommendation is to walk away from those types of conversations or steer it back to a work-related matter. Another alternative if in a casual setting (like a lunch break) is to change the subject to something positive that everyone will enjoy discussing.
At the end of the day it is completely unprofessional, and leads to nothing positive or productive.
edited Apr 12 '12 at 20:07
Nicole
6,69574151
answered Apr 10 '12 at 21:16
atconway
2,03621630
add a comment |Â
up vote
7
down vote
up vote
7
down vote
Stay away. Don't get involved in that slippery slope. My recommendation is to walk away from those types of conversations or steer it back to a work-related matter. Another alternative if in a casual setting (like a lunch break) is to change the subject to something positive that everyone will enjoy discussing.
At the end of the day it is completely unprofessional, and leads to nothing positive or productive.
edited Apr 12 '12 at 20:07
Nicole
6,69574151
answered Apr 10 '12 at 21:16
atconway
2,03621630
Stay away. Don't get involved in that slippery slope. My recommendation is to walk away from those types of conversations or steer it back to a work-related matter. Another alternative if in a casual setting (like a lunch break) is to change the subject to something positive that everyone will enjoy discussing.
At the end of the day it is completely unprofessional, and leads to nothing positive or productive.
edited Apr 12 '12 at 20:07
Nicole
6,69574151
answered Apr 10 '12 at 21:16
atconway
2,03621630
edited Apr 12 '12 at 20:07
Nicole
6,69574151
edited Apr 12 '12 at 20:07
Nicole
6,69574151
edited Apr 12 '12 at 20:07
Nicole
6,69574151
6,69574151
answered Apr 10 '12 at 21:16
atconway
2,03621630
answered Apr 10 '12 at 21:16
atconway
2,03621630
answered Apr 10 '12 at 21:16
atconway
2,03621630
2,03621630
add a comment |Â
add a comment |Â
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+1--I've run into this as well, and I'm sure a lot of people have. I've definitely taken the refusing-to-participate route. By not making the gossips feel judged, while not participating, I've pretty much kept out of trouble, but it's far from perfect.
– RSid
Apr 10 '12 at 21:20
Related meta discussion: meta.workplace.stackexchange.com/questions/35/…
– Shog9♦
Apr 11 '12 at 17:36
@Shog9 and everyone, after reading Robert's answer, I edited this question to make it less generic and more specifically answerable.
– Nicole
Apr 12 '12 at 20:04