My carrier pigeons have been replaced by spoons: how can I send messages? [closed]

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Yup. All my pigeons are now spoons. I knew my court alchemist was a sore loser, but I still think it's inappropriate to do that for a chess game. He vanished and I no longer have any means to communicate.



Horses can also send messages, and are useful for long ones, but I still want a way to send short messages quickly.



How could I send short/quick messages without my pigeons?



P.S.: I now have plenty of spoons, so bonus points if you use them to send messages.



Update: on the message note he left, this bloody alchemist said that all pigeons of my kingdom are spoons, not only my castle. My kingdom is quite large (something between your England and France), so I need a long term solution. The sooner the better, but at least my horses aren't forks so I can wait something like one month, but no more.



Messages I sent with pigeons were Short Message Swearing, AKA SMS, to send short classical orders ("besiege this castle", "gather your army there", "betray my brother"...), usually when it would take more than a day with a horse.




medieval communication




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closed as primarily opinion-based by RonJohn, kingledion, Gryphon, Monty Wild♦ Aug 15 at 17:56


Many good questions generate some degree of opinion based on expert experience, but answers to this question will tend to be almost entirely based on opinions, rather than facts, references, or specific expertise. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.










  • 42




    Is "Fasten a message to the spoon and send it off" a valid answer?
    – Hosch250
    Aug 9 at 13:26






  • 56




    @hosch250 i try to make them fly, pigeons were better at it. Even with the trebuchet, the distance is to short be useful ( unless i create a network of trebuchet all around my kingdom)
    – NotATyrant
    Aug 9 at 13:33






  • 12




    How many is "plenty of spoons"? Could they be linked together to form a sort of wire over which an electrical signal could be passed?
    – Ian MacDonald
    Aug 9 at 19:24






  • 14




    I see that you've already accepted an answer. Just a tip for the future: it's recommended to wait at least 24 hours before accepting an answer as we have users all around the globe,who will not have seen this. Some of them might be discouraged from interacting with your question if they see that you have already found a solution that works for you, and that may mean that you lose potentially better! answers. It's still completely up to you whether to accept an answer, and when.
    – FoxElemental
    Aug 10 at 0:30






  • 17




    The “spooner” the better?
    – JoshRagem
    Aug 11 at 14:18














up vote
114
down vote

favorite
20












Yup. All my pigeons are now spoons. I knew my court alchemist was a sore loser, but I still think it's inappropriate to do that for a chess game. He vanished and I no longer have any means to communicate.



Horses can also send messages, and are useful for long ones, but I still want a way to send short messages quickly.



How could I send short/quick messages without my pigeons?



P.S.: I now have plenty of spoons, so bonus points if you use them to send messages.



Update: on the message note he left, this bloody alchemist said that all pigeons of my kingdom are spoons, not only my castle. My kingdom is quite large (something between your England and France), so I need a long term solution. The sooner the better, but at least my horses aren't forks so I can wait something like one month, but no more.



Messages I sent with pigeons were Short Message Swearing, AKA SMS, to send short classical orders ("besiege this castle", "gather your army there", "betray my brother"...), usually when it would take more than a day with a horse.




medieval communication




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closed as primarily opinion-based by RonJohn, kingledion, Gryphon, Monty Wild♦ Aug 15 at 17:56


Many good questions generate some degree of opinion based on expert experience, but answers to this question will tend to be almost entirely based on opinions, rather than facts, references, or specific expertise. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.










  • 42




    Is "Fasten a message to the spoon and send it off" a valid answer?
    – Hosch250
    Aug 9 at 13:26






  • 56




    @hosch250 i try to make them fly, pigeons were better at it. Even with the trebuchet, the distance is to short be useful ( unless i create a network of trebuchet all around my kingdom)
    – NotATyrant
    Aug 9 at 13:33






  • 12




    How many is "plenty of spoons"? Could they be linked together to form a sort of wire over which an electrical signal could be passed?
    – Ian MacDonald
    Aug 9 at 19:24






  • 14




    I see that you've already accepted an answer. Just a tip for the future: it's recommended to wait at least 24 hours before accepting an answer as we have users all around the globe,who will not have seen this. Some of them might be discouraged from interacting with your question if they see that you have already found a solution that works for you, and that may mean that you lose potentially better! answers. It's still completely up to you whether to accept an answer, and when.
    – FoxElemental
    Aug 10 at 0:30






  • 17




    The “spooner” the better?
    – JoshRagem
    Aug 11 at 14:18












up vote
114
down vote

favorite
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up vote
114
down vote

favorite
20






20





Yup. All my pigeons are now spoons. I knew my court alchemist was a sore loser, but I still think it's inappropriate to do that for a chess game. He vanished and I no longer have any means to communicate.



Horses can also send messages, and are useful for long ones, but I still want a way to send short messages quickly.



How could I send short/quick messages without my pigeons?



P.S.: I now have plenty of spoons, so bonus points if you use them to send messages.



Update: on the message note he left, this bloody alchemist said that all pigeons of my kingdom are spoons, not only my castle. My kingdom is quite large (something between your England and France), so I need a long term solution. The sooner the better, but at least my horses aren't forks so I can wait something like one month, but no more.



Messages I sent with pigeons were Short Message Swearing, AKA SMS, to send short classical orders ("besiege this castle", "gather your army there", "betray my brother"...), usually when it would take more than a day with a horse.




medieval communication




share|improve this question














Yup. All my pigeons are now spoons. I knew my court alchemist was a sore loser, but I still think it's inappropriate to do that for a chess game. He vanished and I no longer have any means to communicate.



Horses can also send messages, and are useful for long ones, but I still want a way to send short messages quickly.



How could I send short/quick messages without my pigeons?



P.S.: I now have plenty of spoons, so bonus points if you use them to send messages.



Update: on the message note he left, this bloody alchemist said that all pigeons of my kingdom are spoons, not only my castle. My kingdom is quite large (something between your England and France), so I need a long term solution. The sooner the better, but at least my horses aren't forks so I can wait something like one month, but no more.



Messages I sent with pigeons were Short Message Swearing, AKA SMS, to send short classical orders ("besiege this castle", "gather your army there", "betray my brother"...), usually when it would take more than a day with a horse.





medieval communication





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edited Aug 10 at 8:22









Kakturus

1353




1353










asked Aug 9 at 13:06









NotATyrant

1,2123917




1,2123917




closed as primarily opinion-based by RonJohn, kingledion, Gryphon, Monty Wild♦ Aug 15 at 17:56


Many good questions generate some degree of opinion based on expert experience, but answers to this question will tend to be almost entirely based on opinions, rather than facts, references, or specific expertise. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.






closed as primarily opinion-based by RonJohn, kingledion, Gryphon, Monty Wild♦ Aug 15 at 17:56


Many good questions generate some degree of opinion based on expert experience, but answers to this question will tend to be almost entirely based on opinions, rather than facts, references, or specific expertise. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.









  • 42




    Is "Fasten a message to the spoon and send it off" a valid answer?
    – Hosch250
    Aug 9 at 13:26






  • 56




    @hosch250 i try to make them fly, pigeons were better at it. Even with the trebuchet, the distance is to short be useful ( unless i create a network of trebuchet all around my kingdom)
    – NotATyrant
    Aug 9 at 13:33






  • 12




    How many is "plenty of spoons"? Could they be linked together to form a sort of wire over which an electrical signal could be passed?
    – Ian MacDonald
    Aug 9 at 19:24






  • 14




    I see that you've already accepted an answer. Just a tip for the future: it's recommended to wait at least 24 hours before accepting an answer as we have users all around the globe,who will not have seen this. Some of them might be discouraged from interacting with your question if they see that you have already found a solution that works for you, and that may mean that you lose potentially better! answers. It's still completely up to you whether to accept an answer, and when.
    – FoxElemental
    Aug 10 at 0:30






  • 17




    The “spooner” the better?
    – JoshRagem
    Aug 11 at 14:18












  • 42




    Is "Fasten a message to the spoon and send it off" a valid answer?
    – Hosch250
    Aug 9 at 13:26






  • 56




    @hosch250 i try to make them fly, pigeons were better at it. Even with the trebuchet, the distance is to short be useful ( unless i create a network of trebuchet all around my kingdom)
    – NotATyrant
    Aug 9 at 13:33






  • 12




    How many is "plenty of spoons"? Could they be linked together to form a sort of wire over which an electrical signal could be passed?
    – Ian MacDonald
    Aug 9 at 19:24






  • 14




    I see that you've already accepted an answer. Just a tip for the future: it's recommended to wait at least 24 hours before accepting an answer as we have users all around the globe,who will not have seen this. Some of them might be discouraged from interacting with your question if they see that you have already found a solution that works for you, and that may mean that you lose potentially better! answers. It's still completely up to you whether to accept an answer, and when.
    – FoxElemental
    Aug 10 at 0:30






  • 17




    The “spooner” the better?
    – JoshRagem
    Aug 11 at 14:18







42




42




Is "Fasten a message to the spoon and send it off" a valid answer?
– Hosch250
Aug 9 at 13:26




Is "Fasten a message to the spoon and send it off" a valid answer?
– Hosch250
Aug 9 at 13:26




56




56




@hosch250 i try to make them fly, pigeons were better at it. Even with the trebuchet, the distance is to short be useful ( unless i create a network of trebuchet all around my kingdom)
– NotATyrant
Aug 9 at 13:33




@hosch250 i try to make them fly, pigeons were better at it. Even with the trebuchet, the distance is to short be useful ( unless i create a network of trebuchet all around my kingdom)
– NotATyrant
Aug 9 at 13:33




12




12




How many is "plenty of spoons"? Could they be linked together to form a sort of wire over which an electrical signal could be passed?
– Ian MacDonald
Aug 9 at 19:24




How many is "plenty of spoons"? Could they be linked together to form a sort of wire over which an electrical signal could be passed?
– Ian MacDonald
Aug 9 at 19:24




14




14




I see that you've already accepted an answer. Just a tip for the future: it's recommended to wait at least 24 hours before accepting an answer as we have users all around the globe,who will not have seen this. Some of them might be discouraged from interacting with your question if they see that you have already found a solution that works for you, and that may mean that you lose potentially better! answers. It's still completely up to you whether to accept an answer, and when.
– FoxElemental
Aug 10 at 0:30




I see that you've already accepted an answer. Just a tip for the future: it's recommended to wait at least 24 hours before accepting an answer as we have users all around the globe,who will not have seen this. Some of them might be discouraged from interacting with your question if they see that you have already found a solution that works for you, and that may mean that you lose potentially better! answers. It's still completely up to you whether to accept an answer, and when.
– FoxElemental
Aug 10 at 0:30




17




17




The “spooner” the better?
– JoshRagem
Aug 11 at 14:18




The “spooner” the better?
– JoshRagem
Aug 11 at 14:18










21 Answers
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Inspired by Hosch250's comment



1- Carrier pigeons don't actually go to a any given location, they really just return to their nest.



2- Spoons have an annoying tendency to fall into soup bowls.



Take advantage of these two facts. Your pigeons are spoons on the outside but they're still pigeons on the inside, only very confused. Get another alchemist (surely you don't only have one) and have them transmute pigeon nests into soup bowls. Their instinct will catch up to their new body and they'll develop a strong desire to fall into their own bowl. Then dispatch messages by horse explaining what you did and ask for the bowls to be filled with soup. Your carrier-spoons will now gladly "fall" back in their bowl. People might need some time getting used to this though...






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  • 13




    Your note for point 1 is not entirely true. While it's true they are usually trained to fly back (after being transported somewhere) because that's easiest, they can also be trained to fly back and forth (they get food at one location, and their nest and mate is at the other). en.wikisource.org/wiki/Popular_Science_Monthly/Volume_50/…
    – hatchet
    Aug 9 at 16:41







  • 2




    @hatchet Fair enough, my point was mostly about them returning to something and not just arbitraily go somewhere. Feel free to edit in more info.
    – 0xFF
    Aug 9 at 16:55










  • I'm sorry, I don't get this answer. I get everything up to the spoons falling into their own bowls. But why would many spoons fall into one bowl? Pigeons surely didn't share nests with more than their mates?
    – EveryBitHelps
    Aug 10 at 19:52










  • @EveryBitHelps Every spoon falls into one bowl; you just have a bunch of bowls in one place.
    – Nic Hartley
    Aug 13 at 20:06










  • @NicHartley, oh. I was imaging a rider on horseback riding around with a single bowl asking for it to be filled with lots of spoons. Thanks for pointing out where I went off track.
    – EveryBitHelps
    Aug 14 at 12:10

















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Polish them to a mirror shine. Put one spoon with one operator on a tower within visible distance from another one. Invent coding that uses "long shines"-"short ones".



Important messages would still be sent by horse (because it's harder to stop a messenger on a fast horse) and frivolities can be sexted with Morse code.



EDIT The use of a horse is to secure delivery of important message. First you avoid the message to be stuck down on the road due to "some" conditions. Second - you avoid many people learning about the message (the Shiners should know the code, not just repeat shines to avoid a game of Telephone where messages mutate over time). Third - using towers means your messages go through well known route. Messenger can go off the beaten track or disguise himself to protect the information.






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  • 7




    First you have to flatten them. A bowl shape is useless for any sort of range. The light intercepted is reflected in all directions, rather than toward the receiving tower.
    – WhatRoughBeast
    Aug 11 at 1:57






  • 6




    At the risk of being supremely pedantic, sending messages via horse & rider is known as the Byzantine Generals' Problem, and it's anything but secure unless carefully designed. Also makes for a fun plot twist or two :)
    – tonysdg
    Aug 11 at 21:44






  • 10




    At my local medieval center we ate with wooden spoons. They are hard to polish to a mirror.
    – Ole Tange
    Aug 12 at 8:25






  • 5




    @OleTange .. Local medieval center? There's a level of normalisation about your comment that I'm actually struggling to process :P I'm picturing something like the YMCA, but with tights and siege weaponry.
    – Ruadhan
    Aug 13 at 8:06






  • 1




    I'd rather send the combat dispatches by spoon than horse. It'll move 10 miles to the minute.
    – Joshua
    Aug 13 at 17:51

















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Crows.



If you don't have pigeons anymore, your other simple option is to use crows. They are very intelligent, great memory, longer life span, stronger etc ...



Some would argue to use ravens because they are stronger, but they are less sociable and less comfortable around humans. But you can train them anyway.






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  • 21




    I think a herd of cows is a little bit more difficult to take on a journey than a couple boxes of pigeons. Remember, carrier pigeons were only every useful for sending messages back to the castle. That said, maybe cows are an innovation: if they're smart enough, maybe they could handle two-way messages!
    – realityChemist
    Aug 9 at 13:33






  • 64




    @realityChemist did you mean to say "cows" and not "crows"?
    – Ajnatorix Zersolar
    Aug 9 at 13:37






  • 79




    Oh my goodness I completely misread this answer. o.o ... this changes everything
    – realityChemist
    Aug 9 at 13:41







  • 58




    Also, crows like shiny object, just like... polished spoons.
    – Sip
    Aug 9 at 15:01






  • 27




    +1 for cows. Just imagine a Guernsey cow thundering down the road, raising a cloud of dust behind it, a tiny scroll delicately attached to one leg.
    – Sneftel
    Aug 10 at 16:10

















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Get another alchemist, convince him to use Sympathetic Magic to bind pairs of spoons together so that what happens to one happens to the other. They're already identical and infused with magic from the transmutation, so this should be technically easy to accomplish.



Now construct a pair of Ouija style code-boards covered in words and letters and place the bound spoons on them.



When you move one spoon, the one on the other board will move to match. So you can use this to send instantaneous messages at any distance.



Send one of the paired board/spoons to another castle and assign someone to keep a close eye on the board at each end for messages.



Repeat the process and you'll have a network of instantaneous text-communication devices across your whole kingdom.



A great improvement over the carrier pigeons!






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  • 1




    Or use spoons as the first telegraph... or use them to write in sand
    – bendl
    Aug 9 at 18:50






  • 8




    Downside: you'd need a lot of force to overcome the sympathetic magic whilst moving the spoons to their new homes.
    – wizzwizz4
    Aug 10 at 10:17






  • 3




    Good Point, it might be more practical to bind in the boards too so that their movements relative to the boards are what matter, then you just carry the board. Fun bit is when the cart with one end of the system goes over a pothole the spoon in the castle will jump or suddenly slide around.
    – Ruadhan
    Aug 10 at 10:49







  • 25




    Medieval quantum entanglement, sure, why not.
    – Mast
    Aug 10 at 11:05






  • 11




    compared to transforming every member of a specific species into an entirely different (compositionally, topologically and structurally) inanimate object across a radius of possibly hundreds of miles.. a little entanglement spell should be trivial :P
    – Ruadhan
    Aug 10 at 11:29


















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Being in the medieval period I assume your mines are mostly producing copper, tin and some low quality iron.



What your alchemist did was turn your pigeons into high quality stainless steel, or possibly even sterling silver spoons.



Sell you spoons for a hefty profit and buy some more pigeons. Spend the rest of the money finding that alchemist!



Edit: collect all the other spoons as property of the crown. You are RICH!!!






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  • 9




    OP didn't specify what materials the spoons are made of. If the court alchemist did this as a result of losing a chess game, I doubt he would provide the kingdom with such precious metals as a result. I'm betting wooden spoons (or rock, imagine those pigeons in flight becoming a missile)
    – CubeJockey
    Aug 9 at 13:59










  • @CubeJockey If the alchemist was in a really shitty mood he could have made them into guano spoons...that would also be a source of revenue!
    – EveryBitHelps
    Aug 9 at 14:13






  • 26




    @CubeJockey or the most gruesome of all, they are still made of pigeon
    – J.Doe
    Aug 9 at 14:34






  • 4




    @J.Doe ewwww! or should I say "stewwww".
    – EveryBitHelps
    Aug 9 at 14:40






  • 1




    ...introduce a "pigeon-free tax" to be collected from users of marketplaces and pedestrian areas, sell spoons for scrap metal, buy a breeding pair of pigeons in the neighbour kingdom, then sell the offspring... SO many ways of getting rich!
    – jvb
    Aug 9 at 19:21

















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One solution could be semaphores.



This require no special technology, and was used before the telegraph was invented.



Chappe's semaphore towers is one historical example, used in France. Just separate towers by 10km each (or use already existing castles, churches...), and write a code.



bonus point: You can use some spoons to make semaphore arms more shiny






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  • Well suited for sending short messages, but probably very expensive to build the initial infrastructure.
    – Trilarion
    Aug 10 at 7:14






  • 2




    @Trilarion it was done in real life (but not the same period), so it is affordable. Also, as stated in the answer, we can use already existing structures: Mont saint-michel for example was used as a Chappe Tower. Castles were really common in middle ages (only few survive until today), and where ideally build on high ground, perfect location for semaphore. If you use already existing towers, the only initial infrastructure cost is adding arms to the towers
    – Kepotx
    Aug 10 at 7:20






  • 6




    The Klacks system from the Discworld Novels is probably the most fleshed-out, taken-to-its-logical-extreme iteration of this system. Lamps and filters for night transmission, mechanical (lever-based) controls, full-on encoding protocols (right the way up to encoding pictures for transmission) and intrigue.
    – Wenlocke
    Aug 10 at 10:17

















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Hire another fickle Court Alchemist.



Provoke them after mentioning how the work of their predecessor was amazing - he turned all your pigeons into spoons.



Finish another victorious chess game with 'I guess that's it! Just like those spoons, it's not like you can turn them back. But, hey, I suppose it's good to admire the work of your betters, right?'



Profit!
(I hope.)






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  • 21




    Two outcomes: Either you get your pigeons back, or you become a pigeon. Odds are a pretty even split!
    – Ruadhan
    Aug 10 at 7:54






  • 9




    @Ruadhan2300 In one case you have your pigeons back, and in the other you wouldn't care about spoons anymore. ;))
    – OnoSendai
    Aug 10 at 18:11


















up vote
19
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I don't see the problem.



Surely, you can find someone to enchant wings into your spoons? And engraved flying spoons are a clear improvement over pigeons.



Make sure to keep the fancy golden spoons for important messages or favored minions - standard dinnerware is good enough for your average flunkie.






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  • 1




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  • 1




    The flying spoons are the medieval screen saver - predated the flying toasters (which required Edison to invent a few things first).
    – manassehkatz
    Aug 14 at 2:45

















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You could use the spoons to make a sort of medieval LRAD. Bind the spoons together to make a very large parabolic satellite dish. Turn the chamber towards the place where you want the sound to focus, stand in front of the parabola, and shout loudly into it.



The shape of the parabola will determine the distance between itself and the focal point, which is where the sound will be most audible. So, I suggest that you construct this parabola by attaching each spoon to a geared tuning mechanism for adjusting the parabola. You have your engineer turn a crank which moves hundreds of small spines along fixed paths, with the goal of effectively driving the focal point farther and farther away.



Now, if it gets too far away, then even though you shout very loudly, the sound might just not make it there. So, to complete this design, you need to hire a large chorus to loudly sing all your secret messages into the parabola. If the chorus is good and large, and the parabola is shaped precisely, then you should be able to send these messages remarkably far, and they would be most audible at their focal destination.



Granted this only works with line of sight, but if you have enough spoons, I see no reason why you can't have acoustic spoon-satellites with large choruses in several locations around the empire.






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  • Because sound travels better when there's air to travel through, and satellites orbit better when there isn't air to drag them into a decaying orb-- *SMASH*.
    – wizzwizz4
    Aug 10 at 9:58







  • 2




    Oh... you meant satellite dishes.
    – wizzwizz4
    Aug 10 at 10:41










  • Lol my mistake. I'll fix it
    – boxcartenant
    Aug 10 at 13:58










  • Oh wait... I get it---- dishes! rofl
    – boxcartenant
    Aug 10 at 14:01











  • You need to stand in the focal point to send the message parallel, or to receive a parallel incoming message. So you don't want a focal point too far away.
    – PaÅ­lo Ebermann
    Aug 10 at 20:11

















up vote
18
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Pneumatic tubes



It not only allows to send messages, but smaller items without interruption with speeds up to 40-90 km/h. The system is from a mechanical viewpoint absolutely doable in mediaeval times, it is just that nobody had the idea to actually do it.



My current hometown Hamburg had several long pneumatic lines to avoid transporting letters with cars. The diameter was 45 cm, the length of a transport pipe was 1.6 m, so approximately 1000 letters could be transported with ease. It was quite a modern system, it was constructed from 1962 on. What needed half an hour with a postal car was now done in few minutes. Unfortunately the vibrations of the roads caused misalignments and damages, so it ran only until 1976. Many of the old systems are still buried under the ground.
All in all the lines had a length of approximately 50 km.



enter image description here



Wikimedia Commons, Public Domain, Prof. Dr. Nemo Klein, 2006-09-20






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  • 9




    Interesting, it was designed to combat vehicle traffic but the cars fought back!
    – Kelly Thomas
    Aug 10 at 0:42







  • 3




    "The system is from a mechanical viewpoint absolutely doable in mediaeval times..." There is probably doable and doable. It would still require quite high quality and maintenance to make this happen reliably for a large kingdom where you literally have to connect thousands of km of length. And what air pressure do you actually need to produce?
    – Trilarion
    Aug 10 at 7:18






  • 3




    @Trilarion Not much pressure is needed. The typical corc jumping out of the champagne bottle with 2.5 bar has a speed of 40 km/h. For e.g. 3 bar you only need a air pressure reservoir A, a connected reservoir B for refilling with size 2:1 which is initially empty, connection with A on the top and a water tower C filling the connected reservoir on the bottom with a height of 30m. The water could be get by rain (or brought upward by an Archimeadan spiral). The use of siphons is already known by Heron of Alexandria "Peri Automatopoietikes".
    – Thorsten S.
    Aug 10 at 23:40

















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17
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Use your horses to go to someone else's kingdom and import pigeons back to your kingdom.



You specified that you have a big kingdom and not that you have the only kingdom in existence ;-)






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  • As long as it's not my kingdom that's fine. A certain alchemist promised me unlimited gold and silver by turning all of my pidgeons into spoons, too.
    – Aric
    Aug 14 at 18:15






  • 1




    @AricFowler As a responsible ruler of your kingdom you would have foreseen the consequences of unlimited gold and declined their offer.
    – MonkeyZeus
    Aug 14 at 18:27

















up vote
12
down vote













Spoon catapults! Place the spoon over a branch (or similar), put your message around a small stone, place the stone in the scoop, take aim, and whack the handle!



You'll have to whack quite hard to get the range of a pidgeon, but that's what sledgehammers are for...






share|improve this answer






















  • Every one knows that if you want to throw things around is best to use a trebuchet, they can trow 90kg stones over 300m!
    – draconk
    Aug 13 at 10:04






  • 1




    @draconk a 90kg spoon seems excessive for any pigeon conversion.... what sort of message are you sending, the bible?
    – UKMonkey
    Aug 13 at 13:10










  • @ukmonkey Pretty hefty, even for a bible...
    – Bex
    Aug 13 at 13:53






  • 4




    90kg collection of bibles launched into enemy castles by trebuchet. Religious wars done right.
    – Adrian773
    Aug 13 at 23:31

















up vote
10
down vote













Two methods I can think of off the top of my head:



  • Semaphore. Using a pair of flags in various positions, they are best used with relay towers and can send messages for miles. Reusable.

  • Fire signals. Using the smokes of bonfires and blankets to produce a crude form of morse code. Needs fuel to be used though.





share|improve this answer




















  • Possibly burning wooden spoons to create the fire?
    – Mawg
    Aug 13 at 13:50










  • If you have thousands of wooden spoons to burn, I don't see why not!
    – Joe P
    Aug 14 at 16:54

















up vote
10
down vote













Use Kites



Kites can be used to send messages. They are cheap, can be easily flown with little expertise, you don't need to build expensive towers, they even work at night by flying lanterns along the string.



The combination of size/shape/pattern/color of the kite can convey the message. A network of kite flyers throughout the country can convey messages over long distances.



Rotate the phrase-book every few weeks to stop the enemy from decoding your intentions.



Cons: You're out of luck if it's raining or very very still weather (no wind)






share|improve this answer
















  • 6




    Would hot air balloons work for still weather?
    – EveryBitHelps
    Aug 9 at 15:18







  • 3




    @EveryBitHelps That would be perfect, but they take a bit (lot) more to engineer
    – DhDd
    Aug 10 at 7:05

















up vote
10
down vote













You will want to play those spoons.



playing spoons



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhggIC0D--4


I think of the fantasies in which there are a series of towers on which bonfires were set to be lit in time of need. The next tower along to line would see the fire and light their own, and so the signal propagates.



So too with your spoons. The spoon player would sit in front of a large parabolic dish many meters across, and play the message. Atop the next tower the next spoon player listens in front of his own dish pointing to the first tower, which captures and amplifies the distant clicks and clack. He then walks around the tower to the transmitting dish and sends the message on.






share|improve this answer




















  • I suggest for practicality, playing a drum in front of the parabolic dish might be more effective, and has some precedent in native-american signal-drumming.
    – Ruadhan
    Aug 10 at 12:13

















up vote
7
down vote













As the ruler of a great kingdom, surely you have multiple options:



  • Sell all your spoons to a neighbouring kingdom that does still have
    pigeons to buy them


  • Commence a nation-wide manhunt for the court alchemist (reward:
    spoons) and 'convince' him to fix the situation


  • If there's powerful magic in your world, have your court mages send 'long-range fireblasts' set to explode at given intervals akin to morse code (obviously you'll need a code book so the enemy won't decipher the message)


  • Start experimenting with turning birds into enormous, mountable monstrosities / combining bird and man into one body


  • Appoint volunteers who will attempt untested teleportation magic with ancient, recently discovered runes or transmute them into pigeons






share|improve this answer
















  • 7




    for convincing the court alchemist, hit him with spoons 'till he agrees
    – Ajnatorix Zersolar
    Aug 9 at 15:49










  • Selling spoons is probably not worth it. Wooden spoons were common in medieval times so I think it is safe to assume the pigeons were turned into wooden spoons - not modern spoons.
    – Ole Tange
    Aug 12 at 8:30










  • @AjnatorixZersolar At least he didn't turn the pigeons into hammers...
    – Redwolf Programs
    Aug 12 at 17:29

















up vote
5
down vote













Drums and communication by sound



With drums you can encode short messages as a unique pattern of sounds and sound travels really fast (>300m/s) and a chain of drummers situated at suitable distances can transmit the message on and on.



If you are worried about the drummers making mistakes inventing some form of error correction code might be a good idea.



Only drawback: That constant drumming in your castle and in all areas around it will drive you crazy.



Alternative: Try Didgeridoos or Alphorns.






share|improve this answer



























    up vote
    2
    down vote













    Create a minor catapault network using only spoons and branches. You can probably launch a short message several dozens of meters per spoon. Assuming you have many hundreds or thousands of spoons now, you should be able to link your communication network up.



    It's a bit vulnerable to high winds, but then again, your birds kind of were too.






    share|improve this answer



























      up vote
      2
      down vote













      Shine them up and trade them to crows in exchange for delivering your message.






      share|improve this answer




















      • Magpies, surely?
        – Bex
        Aug 14 at 11:45










      • @Bex Nope, crows are smarter and cooler. They'll figure out where to go, how to get there, and what to avoid. Then they'll tell every other crow. They'll collectively relieve themselves on someone too if they start messing with the crows. Crows have been shown to gift humans trinkets before. I don't think it's a stretch to start an economic exchange with crows using spoons.
        – Steve
        Aug 14 at 14:47


















      up vote
      1
      down vote













      In this answer, I assume you have metal spoons.

      Melt the spoons together end to end and transmit an electrical signal down the long conductor, with earth ground as a reference point. It's relatively crude, subject to interference, and only useful for relatively short distances over preplanned routes. You might need error correction codes or a second line of spoons for a ground. Depending on technology and heat available, you could even melt the spoons down to wires to cover a longer distance.



      While my initial thought was the mirror/sun reflection answer, this one works at night and on cloudy days and doesn't require adjustment for angle of the sun.






      share|improve this answer




















      • Wooden spoons were common in medieval times so I think it is safe to assume the pigeons were turned into wooden spoons. Do you have a solution with wooden spoons?
        – Ole Tange
        Aug 12 at 8:32

















      up vote
      1
      down vote













      Melt and/or beat the spoons into rockets, with the message in a fireproof nose cone.



      If your kingdom has strong magic, a little alchemy to create gunpowder or V2 fuel shouldn't be too advanced.






      share|improve this answer



























        21 Answers
        21






        active

        oldest

        votes








        21 Answers
        21






        active

        oldest

        votes









        active

        oldest

        votes






        active

        oldest

        votes








        up vote
        105
        down vote



        accepted










        Inspired by Hosch250's comment



        1- Carrier pigeons don't actually go to a any given location, they really just return to their nest.



        2- Spoons have an annoying tendency to fall into soup bowls.



        Take advantage of these two facts. Your pigeons are spoons on the outside but they're still pigeons on the inside, only very confused. Get another alchemist (surely you don't only have one) and have them transmute pigeon nests into soup bowls. Their instinct will catch up to their new body and they'll develop a strong desire to fall into their own bowl. Then dispatch messages by horse explaining what you did and ask for the bowls to be filled with soup. Your carrier-spoons will now gladly "fall" back in their bowl. People might need some time getting used to this though...






        share|improve this answer


















        • 13




          Your note for point 1 is not entirely true. While it's true they are usually trained to fly back (after being transported somewhere) because that's easiest, they can also be trained to fly back and forth (they get food at one location, and their nest and mate is at the other). en.wikisource.org/wiki/Popular_Science_Monthly/Volume_50/…
          – hatchet
          Aug 9 at 16:41







        • 2




          @hatchet Fair enough, my point was mostly about them returning to something and not just arbitraily go somewhere. Feel free to edit in more info.
          – 0xFF
          Aug 9 at 16:55










        • I'm sorry, I don't get this answer. I get everything up to the spoons falling into their own bowls. But why would many spoons fall into one bowl? Pigeons surely didn't share nests with more than their mates?
          – EveryBitHelps
          Aug 10 at 19:52










        • @EveryBitHelps Every spoon falls into one bowl; you just have a bunch of bowls in one place.
          – Nic Hartley
          Aug 13 at 20:06










        • @NicHartley, oh. I was imaging a rider on horseback riding around with a single bowl asking for it to be filled with lots of spoons. Thanks for pointing out where I went off track.
          – EveryBitHelps
          Aug 14 at 12:10














        up vote
        105
        down vote



        accepted










        Inspired by Hosch250's comment



        1- Carrier pigeons don't actually go to a any given location, they really just return to their nest.



        2- Spoons have an annoying tendency to fall into soup bowls.



        Take advantage of these two facts. Your pigeons are spoons on the outside but they're still pigeons on the inside, only very confused. Get another alchemist (surely you don't only have one) and have them transmute pigeon nests into soup bowls. Their instinct will catch up to their new body and they'll develop a strong desire to fall into their own bowl. Then dispatch messages by horse explaining what you did and ask for the bowls to be filled with soup. Your carrier-spoons will now gladly "fall" back in their bowl. People might need some time getting used to this though...






        share|improve this answer


















        • 13




          Your note for point 1 is not entirely true. While it's true they are usually trained to fly back (after being transported somewhere) because that's easiest, they can also be trained to fly back and forth (they get food at one location, and their nest and mate is at the other). en.wikisource.org/wiki/Popular_Science_Monthly/Volume_50/…
          – hatchet
          Aug 9 at 16:41







        • 2




          @hatchet Fair enough, my point was mostly about them returning to something and not just arbitraily go somewhere. Feel free to edit in more info.
          – 0xFF
          Aug 9 at 16:55










        • I'm sorry, I don't get this answer. I get everything up to the spoons falling into their own bowls. But why would many spoons fall into one bowl? Pigeons surely didn't share nests with more than their mates?
          – EveryBitHelps
          Aug 10 at 19:52










        • @EveryBitHelps Every spoon falls into one bowl; you just have a bunch of bowls in one place.
          – Nic Hartley
          Aug 13 at 20:06










        • @NicHartley, oh. I was imaging a rider on horseback riding around with a single bowl asking for it to be filled with lots of spoons. Thanks for pointing out where I went off track.
          – EveryBitHelps
          Aug 14 at 12:10












        up vote
        105
        down vote



        accepted







        up vote
        105
        down vote



        accepted






        Inspired by Hosch250's comment



        1- Carrier pigeons don't actually go to a any given location, they really just return to their nest.



        2- Spoons have an annoying tendency to fall into soup bowls.



        Take advantage of these two facts. Your pigeons are spoons on the outside but they're still pigeons on the inside, only very confused. Get another alchemist (surely you don't only have one) and have them transmute pigeon nests into soup bowls. Their instinct will catch up to their new body and they'll develop a strong desire to fall into their own bowl. Then dispatch messages by horse explaining what you did and ask for the bowls to be filled with soup. Your carrier-spoons will now gladly "fall" back in their bowl. People might need some time getting used to this though...






        share|improve this answer














        Inspired by Hosch250's comment



        1- Carrier pigeons don't actually go to a any given location, they really just return to their nest.



        2- Spoons have an annoying tendency to fall into soup bowls.



        Take advantage of these two facts. Your pigeons are spoons on the outside but they're still pigeons on the inside, only very confused. Get another alchemist (surely you don't only have one) and have them transmute pigeon nests into soup bowls. Their instinct will catch up to their new body and they'll develop a strong desire to fall into their own bowl. Then dispatch messages by horse explaining what you did and ask for the bowls to be filled with soup. Your carrier-spoons will now gladly "fall" back in their bowl. People might need some time getting used to this though...







        share|improve this answer














        share|improve this answer



        share|improve this answer








        edited Aug 16 at 8:08









        RaisingAgent

        1034




        1034










        answered Aug 9 at 15:16









        0xFF

        1,152139




        1,152139







        • 13




          Your note for point 1 is not entirely true. While it's true they are usually trained to fly back (after being transported somewhere) because that's easiest, they can also be trained to fly back and forth (they get food at one location, and their nest and mate is at the other). en.wikisource.org/wiki/Popular_Science_Monthly/Volume_50/…
          – hatchet
          Aug 9 at 16:41







        • 2




          @hatchet Fair enough, my point was mostly about them returning to something and not just arbitraily go somewhere. Feel free to edit in more info.
          – 0xFF
          Aug 9 at 16:55










        • I'm sorry, I don't get this answer. I get everything up to the spoons falling into their own bowls. But why would many spoons fall into one bowl? Pigeons surely didn't share nests with more than their mates?
          – EveryBitHelps
          Aug 10 at 19:52










        • @EveryBitHelps Every spoon falls into one bowl; you just have a bunch of bowls in one place.
          – Nic Hartley
          Aug 13 at 20:06










        • @NicHartley, oh. I was imaging a rider on horseback riding around with a single bowl asking for it to be filled with lots of spoons. Thanks for pointing out where I went off track.
          – EveryBitHelps
          Aug 14 at 12:10












        • 13




          Your note for point 1 is not entirely true. While it's true they are usually trained to fly back (after being transported somewhere) because that's easiest, they can also be trained to fly back and forth (they get food at one location, and their nest and mate is at the other). en.wikisource.org/wiki/Popular_Science_Monthly/Volume_50/…
          – hatchet
          Aug 9 at 16:41







        • 2




          @hatchet Fair enough, my point was mostly about them returning to something and not just arbitraily go somewhere. Feel free to edit in more info.
          – 0xFF
          Aug 9 at 16:55










        • I'm sorry, I don't get this answer. I get everything up to the spoons falling into their own bowls. But why would many spoons fall into one bowl? Pigeons surely didn't share nests with more than their mates?
          – EveryBitHelps
          Aug 10 at 19:52










        • @EveryBitHelps Every spoon falls into one bowl; you just have a bunch of bowls in one place.
          – Nic Hartley
          Aug 13 at 20:06










        • @NicHartley, oh. I was imaging a rider on horseback riding around with a single bowl asking for it to be filled with lots of spoons. Thanks for pointing out where I went off track.
          – EveryBitHelps
          Aug 14 at 12:10







        13




        13




        Your note for point 1 is not entirely true. While it's true they are usually trained to fly back (after being transported somewhere) because that's easiest, they can also be trained to fly back and forth (they get food at one location, and their nest and mate is at the other). en.wikisource.org/wiki/Popular_Science_Monthly/Volume_50/…
        – hatchet
        Aug 9 at 16:41





        Your note for point 1 is not entirely true. While it's true they are usually trained to fly back (after being transported somewhere) because that's easiest, they can also be trained to fly back and forth (they get food at one location, and their nest and mate is at the other). en.wikisource.org/wiki/Popular_Science_Monthly/Volume_50/…
        – hatchet
        Aug 9 at 16:41





        2




        2




        @hatchet Fair enough, my point was mostly about them returning to something and not just arbitraily go somewhere. Feel free to edit in more info.
        – 0xFF
        Aug 9 at 16:55




        @hatchet Fair enough, my point was mostly about them returning to something and not just arbitraily go somewhere. Feel free to edit in more info.
        – 0xFF
        Aug 9 at 16:55












        I'm sorry, I don't get this answer. I get everything up to the spoons falling into their own bowls. But why would many spoons fall into one bowl? Pigeons surely didn't share nests with more than their mates?
        – EveryBitHelps
        Aug 10 at 19:52




        I'm sorry, I don't get this answer. I get everything up to the spoons falling into their own bowls. But why would many spoons fall into one bowl? Pigeons surely didn't share nests with more than their mates?
        – EveryBitHelps
        Aug 10 at 19:52












        @EveryBitHelps Every spoon falls into one bowl; you just have a bunch of bowls in one place.
        – Nic Hartley
        Aug 13 at 20:06




        @EveryBitHelps Every spoon falls into one bowl; you just have a bunch of bowls in one place.
        – Nic Hartley
        Aug 13 at 20:06












        @NicHartley, oh. I was imaging a rider on horseback riding around with a single bowl asking for it to be filled with lots of spoons. Thanks for pointing out where I went off track.
        – EveryBitHelps
        Aug 14 at 12:10




        @NicHartley, oh. I was imaging a rider on horseback riding around with a single bowl asking for it to be filled with lots of spoons. Thanks for pointing out where I went off track.
        – EveryBitHelps
        Aug 14 at 12:10










        up vote
        110
        down vote













        Polish them to a mirror shine. Put one spoon with one operator on a tower within visible distance from another one. Invent coding that uses "long shines"-"short ones".



        Important messages would still be sent by horse (because it's harder to stop a messenger on a fast horse) and frivolities can be sexted with Morse code.



        EDIT The use of a horse is to secure delivery of important message. First you avoid the message to be stuck down on the road due to "some" conditions. Second - you avoid many people learning about the message (the Shiners should know the code, not just repeat shines to avoid a game of Telephone where messages mutate over time). Third - using towers means your messages go through well known route. Messenger can go off the beaten track or disguise himself to protect the information.






        share|improve this answer


















        • 7




          First you have to flatten them. A bowl shape is useless for any sort of range. The light intercepted is reflected in all directions, rather than toward the receiving tower.
          – WhatRoughBeast
          Aug 11 at 1:57






        • 6




          At the risk of being supremely pedantic, sending messages via horse & rider is known as the Byzantine Generals' Problem, and it's anything but secure unless carefully designed. Also makes for a fun plot twist or two :)
          – tonysdg
          Aug 11 at 21:44






        • 10




          At my local medieval center we ate with wooden spoons. They are hard to polish to a mirror.
          – Ole Tange
          Aug 12 at 8:25






        • 5




          @OleTange .. Local medieval center? There's a level of normalisation about your comment that I'm actually struggling to process :P I'm picturing something like the YMCA, but with tights and siege weaponry.
          – Ruadhan
          Aug 13 at 8:06






        • 1




          I'd rather send the combat dispatches by spoon than horse. It'll move 10 miles to the minute.
          – Joshua
          Aug 13 at 17:51














        up vote
        110
        down vote













        Polish them to a mirror shine. Put one spoon with one operator on a tower within visible distance from another one. Invent coding that uses "long shines"-"short ones".



        Important messages would still be sent by horse (because it's harder to stop a messenger on a fast horse) and frivolities can be sexted with Morse code.



        EDIT The use of a horse is to secure delivery of important message. First you avoid the message to be stuck down on the road due to "some" conditions. Second - you avoid many people learning about the message (the Shiners should know the code, not just repeat shines to avoid a game of Telephone where messages mutate over time). Third - using towers means your messages go through well known route. Messenger can go off the beaten track or disguise himself to protect the information.






        share|improve this answer


















        • 7




          First you have to flatten them. A bowl shape is useless for any sort of range. The light intercepted is reflected in all directions, rather than toward the receiving tower.
          – WhatRoughBeast
          Aug 11 at 1:57






        • 6




          At the risk of being supremely pedantic, sending messages via horse & rider is known as the Byzantine Generals' Problem, and it's anything but secure unless carefully designed. Also makes for a fun plot twist or two :)
          – tonysdg
          Aug 11 at 21:44






        • 10




          At my local medieval center we ate with wooden spoons. They are hard to polish to a mirror.
          – Ole Tange
          Aug 12 at 8:25






        • 5




          @OleTange .. Local medieval center? There's a level of normalisation about your comment that I'm actually struggling to process :P I'm picturing something like the YMCA, but with tights and siege weaponry.
          – Ruadhan
          Aug 13 at 8:06






        • 1




          I'd rather send the combat dispatches by spoon than horse. It'll move 10 miles to the minute.
          – Joshua
          Aug 13 at 17:51












        up vote
        110
        down vote










        up vote
        110
        down vote









        Polish them to a mirror shine. Put one spoon with one operator on a tower within visible distance from another one. Invent coding that uses "long shines"-"short ones".



        Important messages would still be sent by horse (because it's harder to stop a messenger on a fast horse) and frivolities can be sexted with Morse code.



        EDIT The use of a horse is to secure delivery of important message. First you avoid the message to be stuck down on the road due to "some" conditions. Second - you avoid many people learning about the message (the Shiners should know the code, not just repeat shines to avoid a game of Telephone where messages mutate over time). Third - using towers means your messages go through well known route. Messenger can go off the beaten track or disguise himself to protect the information.






        share|improve this answer














        Polish them to a mirror shine. Put one spoon with one operator on a tower within visible distance from another one. Invent coding that uses "long shines"-"short ones".



        Important messages would still be sent by horse (because it's harder to stop a messenger on a fast horse) and frivolities can be sexted with Morse code.



        EDIT The use of a horse is to secure delivery of important message. First you avoid the message to be stuck down on the road due to "some" conditions. Second - you avoid many people learning about the message (the Shiners should know the code, not just repeat shines to avoid a game of Telephone where messages mutate over time). Third - using towers means your messages go through well known route. Messenger can go off the beaten track or disguise himself to protect the information.







        share|improve this answer














        share|improve this answer



        share|improve this answer








        edited Aug 10 at 19:12









        thumbtackthief

        1052




        1052










        answered Aug 9 at 13:15









        SZCZERZO KŁY

        13.6k21840




        13.6k21840







        • 7




          First you have to flatten them. A bowl shape is useless for any sort of range. The light intercepted is reflected in all directions, rather than toward the receiving tower.
          – WhatRoughBeast
          Aug 11 at 1:57






        • 6




          At the risk of being supremely pedantic, sending messages via horse & rider is known as the Byzantine Generals' Problem, and it's anything but secure unless carefully designed. Also makes for a fun plot twist or two :)
          – tonysdg
          Aug 11 at 21:44






        • 10




          At my local medieval center we ate with wooden spoons. They are hard to polish to a mirror.
          – Ole Tange
          Aug 12 at 8:25






        • 5




          @OleTange .. Local medieval center? There's a level of normalisation about your comment that I'm actually struggling to process :P I'm picturing something like the YMCA, but with tights and siege weaponry.
          – Ruadhan
          Aug 13 at 8:06






        • 1




          I'd rather send the combat dispatches by spoon than horse. It'll move 10 miles to the minute.
          – Joshua
          Aug 13 at 17:51












        • 7




          First you have to flatten them. A bowl shape is useless for any sort of range. The light intercepted is reflected in all directions, rather than toward the receiving tower.
          – WhatRoughBeast
          Aug 11 at 1:57






        • 6




          At the risk of being supremely pedantic, sending messages via horse & rider is known as the Byzantine Generals' Problem, and it's anything but secure unless carefully designed. Also makes for a fun plot twist or two :)
          – tonysdg
          Aug 11 at 21:44






        • 10




          At my local medieval center we ate with wooden spoons. They are hard to polish to a mirror.
          – Ole Tange
          Aug 12 at 8:25






        • 5




          @OleTange .. Local medieval center? There's a level of normalisation about your comment that I'm actually struggling to process :P I'm picturing something like the YMCA, but with tights and siege weaponry.
          – Ruadhan
          Aug 13 at 8:06






        • 1




          I'd rather send the combat dispatches by spoon than horse. It'll move 10 miles to the minute.
          – Joshua
          Aug 13 at 17:51







        7




        7




        First you have to flatten them. A bowl shape is useless for any sort of range. The light intercepted is reflected in all directions, rather than toward the receiving tower.
        – WhatRoughBeast
        Aug 11 at 1:57




        First you have to flatten them. A bowl shape is useless for any sort of range. The light intercepted is reflected in all directions, rather than toward the receiving tower.
        – WhatRoughBeast
        Aug 11 at 1:57




        6




        6




        At the risk of being supremely pedantic, sending messages via horse & rider is known as the Byzantine Generals' Problem, and it's anything but secure unless carefully designed. Also makes for a fun plot twist or two :)
        – tonysdg
        Aug 11 at 21:44




        At the risk of being supremely pedantic, sending messages via horse & rider is known as the Byzantine Generals' Problem, and it's anything but secure unless carefully designed. Also makes for a fun plot twist or two :)
        – tonysdg
        Aug 11 at 21:44




        10




        10




        At my local medieval center we ate with wooden spoons. They are hard to polish to a mirror.
        – Ole Tange
        Aug 12 at 8:25




        At my local medieval center we ate with wooden spoons. They are hard to polish to a mirror.
        – Ole Tange
        Aug 12 at 8:25




        5




        5




        @OleTange .. Local medieval center? There's a level of normalisation about your comment that I'm actually struggling to process :P I'm picturing something like the YMCA, but with tights and siege weaponry.
        – Ruadhan
        Aug 13 at 8:06




        @OleTange .. Local medieval center? There's a level of normalisation about your comment that I'm actually struggling to process :P I'm picturing something like the YMCA, but with tights and siege weaponry.
        – Ruadhan
        Aug 13 at 8:06




        1




        1




        I'd rather send the combat dispatches by spoon than horse. It'll move 10 miles to the minute.
        – Joshua
        Aug 13 at 17:51




        I'd rather send the combat dispatches by spoon than horse. It'll move 10 miles to the minute.
        – Joshua
        Aug 13 at 17:51










        up vote
        58
        down vote













        Crows.



        If you don't have pigeons anymore, your other simple option is to use crows. They are very intelligent, great memory, longer life span, stronger etc ...



        Some would argue to use ravens because they are stronger, but they are less sociable and less comfortable around humans. But you can train them anyway.






        share|improve this answer


















        • 21




          I think a herd of cows is a little bit more difficult to take on a journey than a couple boxes of pigeons. Remember, carrier pigeons were only every useful for sending messages back to the castle. That said, maybe cows are an innovation: if they're smart enough, maybe they could handle two-way messages!
          – realityChemist
          Aug 9 at 13:33






        • 64




          @realityChemist did you mean to say "cows" and not "crows"?
          – Ajnatorix Zersolar
          Aug 9 at 13:37






        • 79




          Oh my goodness I completely misread this answer. o.o ... this changes everything
          – realityChemist
          Aug 9 at 13:41







        • 58




          Also, crows like shiny object, just like... polished spoons.
          – Sip
          Aug 9 at 15:01






        • 27




          +1 for cows. Just imagine a Guernsey cow thundering down the road, raising a cloud of dust behind it, a tiny scroll delicately attached to one leg.
          – Sneftel
          Aug 10 at 16:10














        up vote
        58
        down vote













        Crows.



        If you don't have pigeons anymore, your other simple option is to use crows. They are very intelligent, great memory, longer life span, stronger etc ...



        Some would argue to use ravens because they are stronger, but they are less sociable and less comfortable around humans. But you can train them anyway.






        share|improve this answer


















        • 21




          I think a herd of cows is a little bit more difficult to take on a journey than a couple boxes of pigeons. Remember, carrier pigeons were only every useful for sending messages back to the castle. That said, maybe cows are an innovation: if they're smart enough, maybe they could handle two-way messages!
          – realityChemist
          Aug 9 at 13:33






        • 64




          @realityChemist did you mean to say "cows" and not "crows"?
          – Ajnatorix Zersolar
          Aug 9 at 13:37






        • 79




          Oh my goodness I completely misread this answer. o.o ... this changes everything
          – realityChemist
          Aug 9 at 13:41







        • 58




          Also, crows like shiny object, just like... polished spoons.
          – Sip
          Aug 9 at 15:01






        • 27




          +1 for cows. Just imagine a Guernsey cow thundering down the road, raising a cloud of dust behind it, a tiny scroll delicately attached to one leg.
          – Sneftel
          Aug 10 at 16:10












        up vote
        58
        down vote










        up vote
        58
        down vote









        Crows.



        If you don't have pigeons anymore, your other simple option is to use crows. They are very intelligent, great memory, longer life span, stronger etc ...



        Some would argue to use ravens because they are stronger, but they are less sociable and less comfortable around humans. But you can train them anyway.






        share|improve this answer














        Crows.



        If you don't have pigeons anymore, your other simple option is to use crows. They are very intelligent, great memory, longer life span, stronger etc ...



        Some would argue to use ravens because they are stronger, but they are less sociable and less comfortable around humans. But you can train them anyway.







        share|improve this answer














        share|improve this answer



        share|improve this answer








        edited Aug 9 at 13:17









        Secespitus

        14.4k861100




        14.4k861100










        answered Aug 9 at 13:14









        Ankinou

        68015




        68015







        • 21




          I think a herd of cows is a little bit more difficult to take on a journey than a couple boxes of pigeons. Remember, carrier pigeons were only every useful for sending messages back to the castle. That said, maybe cows are an innovation: if they're smart enough, maybe they could handle two-way messages!
          – realityChemist
          Aug 9 at 13:33






        • 64




          @realityChemist did you mean to say "cows" and not "crows"?
          – Ajnatorix Zersolar
          Aug 9 at 13:37






        • 79




          Oh my goodness I completely misread this answer. o.o ... this changes everything
          – realityChemist
          Aug 9 at 13:41







        • 58




          Also, crows like shiny object, just like... polished spoons.
          – Sip
          Aug 9 at 15:01






        • 27




          +1 for cows. Just imagine a Guernsey cow thundering down the road, raising a cloud of dust behind it, a tiny scroll delicately attached to one leg.
          – Sneftel
          Aug 10 at 16:10












        • 21




          I think a herd of cows is a little bit more difficult to take on a journey than a couple boxes of pigeons. Remember, carrier pigeons were only every useful for sending messages back to the castle. That said, maybe cows are an innovation: if they're smart enough, maybe they could handle two-way messages!
          – realityChemist
          Aug 9 at 13:33






        • 64




          @realityChemist did you mean to say "cows" and not "crows"?
          – Ajnatorix Zersolar
          Aug 9 at 13:37






        • 79




          Oh my goodness I completely misread this answer. o.o ... this changes everything
          – realityChemist
          Aug 9 at 13:41







        • 58




          Also, crows like shiny object, just like... polished spoons.
          – Sip
          Aug 9 at 15:01






        • 27




          +1 for cows. Just imagine a Guernsey cow thundering down the road, raising a cloud of dust behind it, a tiny scroll delicately attached to one leg.
          – Sneftel
          Aug 10 at 16:10







        21




        21




        I think a herd of cows is a little bit more difficult to take on a journey than a couple boxes of pigeons. Remember, carrier pigeons were only every useful for sending messages back to the castle. That said, maybe cows are an innovation: if they're smart enough, maybe they could handle two-way messages!
        – realityChemist
        Aug 9 at 13:33




        I think a herd of cows is a little bit more difficult to take on a journey than a couple boxes of pigeons. Remember, carrier pigeons were only every useful for sending messages back to the castle. That said, maybe cows are an innovation: if they're smart enough, maybe they could handle two-way messages!
        – realityChemist
        Aug 9 at 13:33




        64




        64




        @realityChemist did you mean to say "cows" and not "crows"?
        – Ajnatorix Zersolar
        Aug 9 at 13:37




        @realityChemist did you mean to say "cows" and not "crows"?
        – Ajnatorix Zersolar
        Aug 9 at 13:37




        79




        79




        Oh my goodness I completely misread this answer. o.o ... this changes everything
        – realityChemist
        Aug 9 at 13:41





        Oh my goodness I completely misread this answer. o.o ... this changes everything
        – realityChemist
        Aug 9 at 13:41





        58




        58




        Also, crows like shiny object, just like... polished spoons.
        – Sip
        Aug 9 at 15:01




        Also, crows like shiny object, just like... polished spoons.
        – Sip
        Aug 9 at 15:01




        27




        27




        +1 for cows. Just imagine a Guernsey cow thundering down the road, raising a cloud of dust behind it, a tiny scroll delicately attached to one leg.
        – Sneftel
        Aug 10 at 16:10




        +1 for cows. Just imagine a Guernsey cow thundering down the road, raising a cloud of dust behind it, a tiny scroll delicately attached to one leg.
        – Sneftel
        Aug 10 at 16:10










        up vote
        58
        down vote













        Get another alchemist, convince him to use Sympathetic Magic to bind pairs of spoons together so that what happens to one happens to the other. They're already identical and infused with magic from the transmutation, so this should be technically easy to accomplish.



        Now construct a pair of Ouija style code-boards covered in words and letters and place the bound spoons on them.



        When you move one spoon, the one on the other board will move to match. So you can use this to send instantaneous messages at any distance.



        Send one of the paired board/spoons to another castle and assign someone to keep a close eye on the board at each end for messages.



        Repeat the process and you'll have a network of instantaneous text-communication devices across your whole kingdom.



        A great improvement over the carrier pigeons!






        share|improve this answer
















        • 1




          Or use spoons as the first telegraph... or use them to write in sand
          – bendl
          Aug 9 at 18:50






        • 8




          Downside: you'd need a lot of force to overcome the sympathetic magic whilst moving the spoons to their new homes.
          – wizzwizz4
          Aug 10 at 10:17






        • 3




          Good Point, it might be more practical to bind in the boards too so that their movements relative to the boards are what matter, then you just carry the board. Fun bit is when the cart with one end of the system goes over a pothole the spoon in the castle will jump or suddenly slide around.
          – Ruadhan
          Aug 10 at 10:49







        • 25




          Medieval quantum entanglement, sure, why not.
          – Mast
          Aug 10 at 11:05






        • 11




          compared to transforming every member of a specific species into an entirely different (compositionally, topologically and structurally) inanimate object across a radius of possibly hundreds of miles.. a little entanglement spell should be trivial :P
          – Ruadhan
          Aug 10 at 11:29















        up vote
        58
        down vote













        Get another alchemist, convince him to use Sympathetic Magic to bind pairs of spoons together so that what happens to one happens to the other. They're already identical and infused with magic from the transmutation, so this should be technically easy to accomplish.



        Now construct a pair of Ouija style code-boards covered in words and letters and place the bound spoons on them.



        When you move one spoon, the one on the other board will move to match. So you can use this to send instantaneous messages at any distance.



        Send one of the paired board/spoons to another castle and assign someone to keep a close eye on the board at each end for messages.



        Repeat the process and you'll have a network of instantaneous text-communication devices across your whole kingdom.



        A great improvement over the carrier pigeons!






        share|improve this answer
















        • 1




          Or use spoons as the first telegraph... or use them to write in sand
          – bendl
          Aug 9 at 18:50






        • 8




          Downside: you'd need a lot of force to overcome the sympathetic magic whilst moving the spoons to their new homes.
          – wizzwizz4
          Aug 10 at 10:17






        • 3




          Good Point, it might be more practical to bind in the boards too so that their movements relative to the boards are what matter, then you just carry the board. Fun bit is when the cart with one end of the system goes over a pothole the spoon in the castle will jump or suddenly slide around.
          – Ruadhan
          Aug 10 at 10:49







        • 25




          Medieval quantum entanglement, sure, why not.
          – Mast
          Aug 10 at 11:05






        • 11




          compared to transforming every member of a specific species into an entirely different (compositionally, topologically and structurally) inanimate object across a radius of possibly hundreds of miles.. a little entanglement spell should be trivial :P
          – Ruadhan
          Aug 10 at 11:29













        up vote
        58
        down vote










        up vote
        58
        down vote









        Get another alchemist, convince him to use Sympathetic Magic to bind pairs of spoons together so that what happens to one happens to the other. They're already identical and infused with magic from the transmutation, so this should be technically easy to accomplish.



        Now construct a pair of Ouija style code-boards covered in words and letters and place the bound spoons on them.



        When you move one spoon, the one on the other board will move to match. So you can use this to send instantaneous messages at any distance.



        Send one of the paired board/spoons to another castle and assign someone to keep a close eye on the board at each end for messages.



        Repeat the process and you'll have a network of instantaneous text-communication devices across your whole kingdom.



        A great improvement over the carrier pigeons!






        share|improve this answer












        Get another alchemist, convince him to use Sympathetic Magic to bind pairs of spoons together so that what happens to one happens to the other. They're already identical and infused with magic from the transmutation, so this should be technically easy to accomplish.



        Now construct a pair of Ouija style code-boards covered in words and letters and place the bound spoons on them.



        When you move one spoon, the one on the other board will move to match. So you can use this to send instantaneous messages at any distance.



        Send one of the paired board/spoons to another castle and assign someone to keep a close eye on the board at each end for messages.



        Repeat the process and you'll have a network of instantaneous text-communication devices across your whole kingdom.



        A great improvement over the carrier pigeons!







        share|improve this answer












        share|improve this answer



        share|improve this answer










        answered Aug 9 at 15:58









        Ruadhan

        2,544316




        2,544316







        • 1




          Or use spoons as the first telegraph... or use them to write in sand
          – bendl
          Aug 9 at 18:50






        • 8




          Downside: you'd need a lot of force to overcome the sympathetic magic whilst moving the spoons to their new homes.
          – wizzwizz4
          Aug 10 at 10:17






        • 3




          Good Point, it might be more practical to bind in the boards too so that their movements relative to the boards are what matter, then you just carry the board. Fun bit is when the cart with one end of the system goes over a pothole the spoon in the castle will jump or suddenly slide around.
          – Ruadhan
          Aug 10 at 10:49







        • 25




          Medieval quantum entanglement, sure, why not.
          – Mast
          Aug 10 at 11:05






        • 11




          compared to transforming every member of a specific species into an entirely different (compositionally, topologically and structurally) inanimate object across a radius of possibly hundreds of miles.. a little entanglement spell should be trivial :P
          – Ruadhan
          Aug 10 at 11:29













        • 1




          Or use spoons as the first telegraph... or use them to write in sand
          – bendl
          Aug 9 at 18:50






        • 8




          Downside: you'd need a lot of force to overcome the sympathetic magic whilst moving the spoons to their new homes.
          – wizzwizz4
          Aug 10 at 10:17






        • 3




          Good Point, it might be more practical to bind in the boards too so that their movements relative to the boards are what matter, then you just carry the board. Fun bit is when the cart with one end of the system goes over a pothole the spoon in the castle will jump or suddenly slide around.
          – Ruadhan
          Aug 10 at 10:49







        • 25




          Medieval quantum entanglement, sure, why not.
          – Mast
          Aug 10 at 11:05






        • 11




          compared to transforming every member of a specific species into an entirely different (compositionally, topologically and structurally) inanimate object across a radius of possibly hundreds of miles.. a little entanglement spell should be trivial :P
          – Ruadhan
          Aug 10 at 11:29








        1




        1




        Or use spoons as the first telegraph... or use them to write in sand
        – bendl
        Aug 9 at 18:50




        Or use spoons as the first telegraph... or use them to write in sand
        – bendl
        Aug 9 at 18:50




        8




        8




        Downside: you'd need a lot of force to overcome the sympathetic magic whilst moving the spoons to their new homes.
        – wizzwizz4
        Aug 10 at 10:17




        Downside: you'd need a lot of force to overcome the sympathetic magic whilst moving the spoons to their new homes.
        – wizzwizz4
        Aug 10 at 10:17




        3




        3




        Good Point, it might be more practical to bind in the boards too so that their movements relative to the boards are what matter, then you just carry the board. Fun bit is when the cart with one end of the system goes over a pothole the spoon in the castle will jump or suddenly slide around.
        – Ruadhan
        Aug 10 at 10:49





        Good Point, it might be more practical to bind in the boards too so that their movements relative to the boards are what matter, then you just carry the board. Fun bit is when the cart with one end of the system goes over a pothole the spoon in the castle will jump or suddenly slide around.
        – Ruadhan
        Aug 10 at 10:49





        25




        25




        Medieval quantum entanglement, sure, why not.
        – Mast
        Aug 10 at 11:05




        Medieval quantum entanglement, sure, why not.
        – Mast
        Aug 10 at 11:05




        11




        11




        compared to transforming every member of a specific species into an entirely different (compositionally, topologically and structurally) inanimate object across a radius of possibly hundreds of miles.. a little entanglement spell should be trivial :P
        – Ruadhan
        Aug 10 at 11:29





        compared to transforming every member of a specific species into an entirely different (compositionally, topologically and structurally) inanimate object across a radius of possibly hundreds of miles.. a little entanglement spell should be trivial :P
        – Ruadhan
        Aug 10 at 11:29











        up vote
        34
        down vote













        Being in the medieval period I assume your mines are mostly producing copper, tin and some low quality iron.



        What your alchemist did was turn your pigeons into high quality stainless steel, or possibly even sterling silver spoons.



        Sell you spoons for a hefty profit and buy some more pigeons. Spend the rest of the money finding that alchemist!



        Edit: collect all the other spoons as property of the crown. You are RICH!!!






        share|improve this answer


















        • 9




          OP didn't specify what materials the spoons are made of. If the court alchemist did this as a result of losing a chess game, I doubt he would provide the kingdom with such precious metals as a result. I'm betting wooden spoons (or rock, imagine those pigeons in flight becoming a missile)
          – CubeJockey
          Aug 9 at 13:59










        • @CubeJockey If the alchemist was in a really shitty mood he could have made them into guano spoons...that would also be a source of revenue!
          – EveryBitHelps
          Aug 9 at 14:13






        • 26




          @CubeJockey or the most gruesome of all, they are still made of pigeon
          – J.Doe
          Aug 9 at 14:34






        • 4




          @J.Doe ewwww! or should I say "stewwww".
          – EveryBitHelps
          Aug 9 at 14:40






        • 1




          ...introduce a "pigeon-free tax" to be collected from users of marketplaces and pedestrian areas, sell spoons for scrap metal, buy a breeding pair of pigeons in the neighbour kingdom, then sell the offspring... SO many ways of getting rich!
          – jvb
          Aug 9 at 19:21














        up vote
        34
        down vote













        Being in the medieval period I assume your mines are mostly producing copper, tin and some low quality iron.



        What your alchemist did was turn your pigeons into high quality stainless steel, or possibly even sterling silver spoons.



        Sell you spoons for a hefty profit and buy some more pigeons. Spend the rest of the money finding that alchemist!



        Edit: collect all the other spoons as property of the crown. You are RICH!!!






        share|improve this answer


















        • 9




          OP didn't specify what materials the spoons are made of. If the court alchemist did this as a result of losing a chess game, I doubt he would provide the kingdom with such precious metals as a result. I'm betting wooden spoons (or rock, imagine those pigeons in flight becoming a missile)
          – CubeJockey
          Aug 9 at 13:59










        • @CubeJockey If the alchemist was in a really shitty mood he could have made them into guano spoons...that would also be a source of revenue!
          – EveryBitHelps
          Aug 9 at 14:13






        • 26




          @CubeJockey or the most gruesome of all, they are still made of pigeon
          – J.Doe
          Aug 9 at 14:34






        • 4




          @J.Doe ewwww! or should I say "stewwww".
          – EveryBitHelps
          Aug 9 at 14:40






        • 1




          ...introduce a "pigeon-free tax" to be collected from users of marketplaces and pedestrian areas, sell spoons for scrap metal, buy a breeding pair of pigeons in the neighbour kingdom, then sell the offspring... SO many ways of getting rich!
          – jvb
          Aug 9 at 19:21












        up vote
        34
        down vote










        up vote
        34
        down vote









        Being in the medieval period I assume your mines are mostly producing copper, tin and some low quality iron.



        What your alchemist did was turn your pigeons into high quality stainless steel, or possibly even sterling silver spoons.



        Sell you spoons for a hefty profit and buy some more pigeons. Spend the rest of the money finding that alchemist!



        Edit: collect all the other spoons as property of the crown. You are RICH!!!






        share|improve this answer














        Being in the medieval period I assume your mines are mostly producing copper, tin and some low quality iron.



        What your alchemist did was turn your pigeons into high quality stainless steel, or possibly even sterling silver spoons.



        Sell you spoons for a hefty profit and buy some more pigeons. Spend the rest of the money finding that alchemist!



        Edit: collect all the other spoons as property of the crown. You are RICH!!!







        share|improve this answer














        share|improve this answer



        share|improve this answer








        edited Aug 9 at 13:28

























        answered Aug 9 at 13:25









        EveryBitHelps

        7,13232780




        7,13232780







        • 9




          OP didn't specify what materials the spoons are made of. If the court alchemist did this as a result of losing a chess game, I doubt he would provide the kingdom with such precious metals as a result. I'm betting wooden spoons (or rock, imagine those pigeons in flight becoming a missile)
          – CubeJockey
          Aug 9 at 13:59










        • @CubeJockey If the alchemist was in a really shitty mood he could have made them into guano spoons...that would also be a source of revenue!
          – EveryBitHelps
          Aug 9 at 14:13






        • 26




          @CubeJockey or the most gruesome of all, they are still made of pigeon
          – J.Doe
          Aug 9 at 14:34






        • 4




          @J.Doe ewwww! or should I say "stewwww".
          – EveryBitHelps
          Aug 9 at 14:40






        • 1




          ...introduce a "pigeon-free tax" to be collected from users of marketplaces and pedestrian areas, sell spoons for scrap metal, buy a breeding pair of pigeons in the neighbour kingdom, then sell the offspring... SO many ways of getting rich!
          – jvb
          Aug 9 at 19:21












        • 9




          OP didn't specify what materials the spoons are made of. If the court alchemist did this as a result of losing a chess game, I doubt he would provide the kingdom with such precious metals as a result. I'm betting wooden spoons (or rock, imagine those pigeons in flight becoming a missile)
          – CubeJockey
          Aug 9 at 13:59










        • @CubeJockey If the alchemist was in a really shitty mood he could have made them into guano spoons...that would also be a source of revenue!
          – EveryBitHelps
          Aug 9 at 14:13






        • 26




          @CubeJockey or the most gruesome of all, they are still made of pigeon
          – J.Doe
          Aug 9 at 14:34






        • 4




          @J.Doe ewwww! or should I say "stewwww".
          – EveryBitHelps
          Aug 9 at 14:40






        • 1




          ...introduce a "pigeon-free tax" to be collected from users of marketplaces and pedestrian areas, sell spoons for scrap metal, buy a breeding pair of pigeons in the neighbour kingdom, then sell the offspring... SO many ways of getting rich!
          – jvb
          Aug 9 at 19:21







        9




        9




        OP didn't specify what materials the spoons are made of. If the court alchemist did this as a result of losing a chess game, I doubt he would provide the kingdom with such precious metals as a result. I'm betting wooden spoons (or rock, imagine those pigeons in flight becoming a missile)
        – CubeJockey
        Aug 9 at 13:59




        OP didn't specify what materials the spoons are made of. If the court alchemist did this as a result of losing a chess game, I doubt he would provide the kingdom with such precious metals as a result. I'm betting wooden spoons (or rock, imagine those pigeons in flight becoming a missile)
        – CubeJockey
        Aug 9 at 13:59












        @CubeJockey If the alchemist was in a really shitty mood he could have made them into guano spoons...that would also be a source of revenue!
        – EveryBitHelps
        Aug 9 at 14:13




        @CubeJockey If the alchemist was in a really shitty mood he could have made them into guano spoons...that would also be a source of revenue!
        – EveryBitHelps
        Aug 9 at 14:13




        26




        26




        @CubeJockey or the most gruesome of all, they are still made of pigeon
        – J.Doe
        Aug 9 at 14:34




        @CubeJockey or the most gruesome of all, they are still made of pigeon
        – J.Doe
        Aug 9 at 14:34




        4




        4




        @J.Doe ewwww! or should I say "stewwww".
        – EveryBitHelps
        Aug 9 at 14:40




        @J.Doe ewwww! or should I say "stewwww".
        – EveryBitHelps
        Aug 9 at 14:40




        1




        1




        ...introduce a "pigeon-free tax" to be collected from users of marketplaces and pedestrian areas, sell spoons for scrap metal, buy a breeding pair of pigeons in the neighbour kingdom, then sell the offspring... SO many ways of getting rich!
        – jvb
        Aug 9 at 19:21




        ...introduce a "pigeon-free tax" to be collected from users of marketplaces and pedestrian areas, sell spoons for scrap metal, buy a breeding pair of pigeons in the neighbour kingdom, then sell the offspring... SO many ways of getting rich!
        – jvb
        Aug 9 at 19:21










        up vote
        27
        down vote













        One solution could be semaphores.



        This require no special technology, and was used before the telegraph was invented.



        Chappe's semaphore towers is one historical example, used in France. Just separate towers by 10km each (or use already existing castles, churches...), and write a code.



        bonus point: You can use some spoons to make semaphore arms more shiny






        share|improve this answer




















        • Well suited for sending short messages, but probably very expensive to build the initial infrastructure.
          – Trilarion
          Aug 10 at 7:14






        • 2




          @Trilarion it was done in real life (but not the same period), so it is affordable. Also, as stated in the answer, we can use already existing structures: Mont saint-michel for example was used as a Chappe Tower. Castles were really common in middle ages (only few survive until today), and where ideally build on high ground, perfect location for semaphore. If you use already existing towers, the only initial infrastructure cost is adding arms to the towers
          – Kepotx
          Aug 10 at 7:20






        • 6




          The Klacks system from the Discworld Novels is probably the most fleshed-out, taken-to-its-logical-extreme iteration of this system. Lamps and filters for night transmission, mechanical (lever-based) controls, full-on encoding protocols (right the way up to encoding pictures for transmission) and intrigue.
          – Wenlocke
          Aug 10 at 10:17














        up vote
        27
        down vote













        One solution could be semaphores.



        This require no special technology, and was used before the telegraph was invented.



        Chappe's semaphore towers is one historical example, used in France. Just separate towers by 10km each (or use already existing castles, churches...), and write a code.



        bonus point: You can use some spoons to make semaphore arms more shiny






        share|improve this answer




















        • Well suited for sending short messages, but probably very expensive to build the initial infrastructure.
          – Trilarion
          Aug 10 at 7:14






        • 2




          @Trilarion it was done in real life (but not the same period), so it is affordable. Also, as stated in the answer, we can use already existing structures: Mont saint-michel for example was used as a Chappe Tower. Castles were really common in middle ages (only few survive until today), and where ideally build on high ground, perfect location for semaphore. If you use already existing towers, the only initial infrastructure cost is adding arms to the towers
          – Kepotx
          Aug 10 at 7:20






        • 6




          The Klacks system from the Discworld Novels is probably the most fleshed-out, taken-to-its-logical-extreme iteration of this system. Lamps and filters for night transmission, mechanical (lever-based) controls, full-on encoding protocols (right the way up to encoding pictures for transmission) and intrigue.
          – Wenlocke
          Aug 10 at 10:17












        up vote
        27
        down vote










        up vote
        27
        down vote









        One solution could be semaphores.



        This require no special technology, and was used before the telegraph was invented.



        Chappe's semaphore towers is one historical example, used in France. Just separate towers by 10km each (or use already existing castles, churches...), and write a code.



        bonus point: You can use some spoons to make semaphore arms more shiny






        share|improve this answer












        One solution could be semaphores.



        This require no special technology, and was used before the telegraph was invented.



        Chappe's semaphore towers is one historical example, used in France. Just separate towers by 10km each (or use already existing castles, churches...), and write a code.



        bonus point: You can use some spoons to make semaphore arms more shiny







        share|improve this answer












        share|improve this answer



        share|improve this answer










        answered Aug 9 at 13:19









        Kepotx

        2,56111229




        2,56111229











        • Well suited for sending short messages, but probably very expensive to build the initial infrastructure.
          – Trilarion
          Aug 10 at 7:14






        • 2




          @Trilarion it was done in real life (but not the same period), so it is affordable. Also, as stated in the answer, we can use already existing structures: Mont saint-michel for example was used as a Chappe Tower. Castles were really common in middle ages (only few survive until today), and where ideally build on high ground, perfect location for semaphore. If you use already existing towers, the only initial infrastructure cost is adding arms to the towers
          – Kepotx
          Aug 10 at 7:20






        • 6




          The Klacks system from the Discworld Novels is probably the most fleshed-out, taken-to-its-logical-extreme iteration of this system. Lamps and filters for night transmission, mechanical (lever-based) controls, full-on encoding protocols (right the way up to encoding pictures for transmission) and intrigue.
          – Wenlocke
          Aug 10 at 10:17
















        • Well suited for sending short messages, but probably very expensive to build the initial infrastructure.
          – Trilarion
          Aug 10 at 7:14






        • 2




          @Trilarion it was done in real life (but not the same period), so it is affordable. Also, as stated in the answer, we can use already existing structures: Mont saint-michel for example was used as a Chappe Tower. Castles were really common in middle ages (only few survive until today), and where ideally build on high ground, perfect location for semaphore. If you use already existing towers, the only initial infrastructure cost is adding arms to the towers
          – Kepotx
          Aug 10 at 7:20






        • 6




          The Klacks system from the Discworld Novels is probably the most fleshed-out, taken-to-its-logical-extreme iteration of this system. Lamps and filters for night transmission, mechanical (lever-based) controls, full-on encoding protocols (right the way up to encoding pictures for transmission) and intrigue.
          – Wenlocke
          Aug 10 at 10:17















        Well suited for sending short messages, but probably very expensive to build the initial infrastructure.
        – Trilarion
        Aug 10 at 7:14




        Well suited for sending short messages, but probably very expensive to build the initial infrastructure.
        – Trilarion
        Aug 10 at 7:14




        2




        2




        @Trilarion it was done in real life (but not the same period), so it is affordable. Also, as stated in the answer, we can use already existing structures: Mont saint-michel for example was used as a Chappe Tower. Castles were really common in middle ages (only few survive until today), and where ideally build on high ground, perfect location for semaphore. If you use already existing towers, the only initial infrastructure cost is adding arms to the towers
        – Kepotx
        Aug 10 at 7:20




        @Trilarion it was done in real life (but not the same period), so it is affordable. Also, as stated in the answer, we can use already existing structures: Mont saint-michel for example was used as a Chappe Tower. Castles were really common in middle ages (only few survive until today), and where ideally build on high ground, perfect location for semaphore. If you use already existing towers, the only initial infrastructure cost is adding arms to the towers
        – Kepotx
        Aug 10 at 7:20




        6




        6




        The Klacks system from the Discworld Novels is probably the most fleshed-out, taken-to-its-logical-extreme iteration of this system. Lamps and filters for night transmission, mechanical (lever-based) controls, full-on encoding protocols (right the way up to encoding pictures for transmission) and intrigue.
        – Wenlocke
        Aug 10 at 10:17




        The Klacks system from the Discworld Novels is probably the most fleshed-out, taken-to-its-logical-extreme iteration of this system. Lamps and filters for night transmission, mechanical (lever-based) controls, full-on encoding protocols (right the way up to encoding pictures for transmission) and intrigue.
        – Wenlocke
        Aug 10 at 10:17










        up vote
        22
        down vote













        Hire another fickle Court Alchemist.



        Provoke them after mentioning how the work of their predecessor was amazing - he turned all your pigeons into spoons.



        Finish another victorious chess game with 'I guess that's it! Just like those spoons, it's not like you can turn them back. But, hey, I suppose it's good to admire the work of your betters, right?'



        Profit!
        (I hope.)






        share|improve this answer
















        • 21




          Two outcomes: Either you get your pigeons back, or you become a pigeon. Odds are a pretty even split!
          – Ruadhan
          Aug 10 at 7:54






        • 9




          @Ruadhan2300 In one case you have your pigeons back, and in the other you wouldn't care about spoons anymore. ;))
          – OnoSendai
          Aug 10 at 18:11















        up vote
        22
        down vote













        Hire another fickle Court Alchemist.



        Provoke them after mentioning how the work of their predecessor was amazing - he turned all your pigeons into spoons.



        Finish another victorious chess game with 'I guess that's it! Just like those spoons, it's not like you can turn them back. But, hey, I suppose it's good to admire the work of your betters, right?'



        Profit!
        (I hope.)






        share|improve this answer
















        • 21




          Two outcomes: Either you get your pigeons back, or you become a pigeon. Odds are a pretty even split!
          – Ruadhan
          Aug 10 at 7:54






        • 9




          @Ruadhan2300 In one case you have your pigeons back, and in the other you wouldn't care about spoons anymore. ;))
          – OnoSendai
          Aug 10 at 18:11













        up vote
        22
        down vote










        up vote
        22
        down vote









        Hire another fickle Court Alchemist.



        Provoke them after mentioning how the work of their predecessor was amazing - he turned all your pigeons into spoons.



        Finish another victorious chess game with 'I guess that's it! Just like those spoons, it's not like you can turn them back. But, hey, I suppose it's good to admire the work of your betters, right?'



        Profit!
        (I hope.)






        share|improve this answer












        Hire another fickle Court Alchemist.



        Provoke them after mentioning how the work of their predecessor was amazing - he turned all your pigeons into spoons.



        Finish another victorious chess game with 'I guess that's it! Just like those spoons, it's not like you can turn them back. But, hey, I suppose it's good to admire the work of your betters, right?'



        Profit!
        (I hope.)







        share|improve this answer












        share|improve this answer



        share|improve this answer










        answered Aug 10 at 1:32









        OnoSendai

        4,2851823




        4,2851823







        • 21




          Two outcomes: Either you get your pigeons back, or you become a pigeon. Odds are a pretty even split!
          – Ruadhan
          Aug 10 at 7:54






        • 9




          @Ruadhan2300 In one case you have your pigeons back, and in the other you wouldn't care about spoons anymore. ;))
          – OnoSendai
          Aug 10 at 18:11













        • 21




          Two outcomes: Either you get your pigeons back, or you become a pigeon. Odds are a pretty even split!
          – Ruadhan
          Aug 10 at 7:54






        • 9




          @Ruadhan2300 In one case you have your pigeons back, and in the other you wouldn't care about spoons anymore. ;))
          – OnoSendai
          Aug 10 at 18:11








        21




        21




        Two outcomes: Either you get your pigeons back, or you become a pigeon. Odds are a pretty even split!
        – Ruadhan
        Aug 10 at 7:54




        Two outcomes: Either you get your pigeons back, or you become a pigeon. Odds are a pretty even split!
        – Ruadhan
        Aug 10 at 7:54




        9




        9




        @Ruadhan2300 In one case you have your pigeons back, and in the other you wouldn't care about spoons anymore. ;))
        – OnoSendai
        Aug 10 at 18:11





        @Ruadhan2300 In one case you have your pigeons back, and in the other you wouldn't care about spoons anymore. ;))
        – OnoSendai
        Aug 10 at 18:11











        up vote
        19
        down vote













        I don't see the problem.



        Surely, you can find someone to enchant wings into your spoons? And engraved flying spoons are a clear improvement over pigeons.



        Make sure to keep the fancy golden spoons for important messages or favored minions - standard dinnerware is good enough for your average flunkie.






        share|improve this answer
















        • 1




          Welcome to Worldbuilding.SE! We're glad you could join us! When you have a moment, please click here to learn more about our culture and take our tour. Thanks!
          – JBH
          Aug 9 at 16:30






        • 1




          Pretty nice first post for Worldbuilding
          – Redwolf Programs
          Aug 12 at 17:27






        • 1




          The flying spoons are the medieval screen saver - predated the flying toasters (which required Edison to invent a few things first).
          – manassehkatz
          Aug 14 at 2:45














        up vote
        19
        down vote













        I don't see the problem.



        Surely, you can find someone to enchant wings into your spoons? And engraved flying spoons are a clear improvement over pigeons.



        Make sure to keep the fancy golden spoons for important messages or favored minions - standard dinnerware is good enough for your average flunkie.






        share|improve this answer
















        • 1




          Welcome to Worldbuilding.SE! We're glad you could join us! When you have a moment, please click here to learn more about our culture and take our tour. Thanks!
          – JBH
          Aug 9 at 16:30






        • 1




          Pretty nice first post for Worldbuilding
          – Redwolf Programs
          Aug 12 at 17:27






        • 1




          The flying spoons are the medieval screen saver - predated the flying toasters (which required Edison to invent a few things first).
          – manassehkatz
          Aug 14 at 2:45












        up vote
        19
        down vote










        up vote
        19
        down vote









        I don't see the problem.



        Surely, you can find someone to enchant wings into your spoons? And engraved flying spoons are a clear improvement over pigeons.



        Make sure to keep the fancy golden spoons for important messages or favored minions - standard dinnerware is good enough for your average flunkie.






        share|improve this answer












        I don't see the problem.



        Surely, you can find someone to enchant wings into your spoons? And engraved flying spoons are a clear improvement over pigeons.



        Make sure to keep the fancy golden spoons for important messages or favored minions - standard dinnerware is good enough for your average flunkie.







        share|improve this answer












        share|improve this answer



        share|improve this answer










        answered Aug 9 at 16:21









        ptyx

        2913




        2913







        • 1




          Welcome to Worldbuilding.SE! We're glad you could join us! When you have a moment, please click here to learn more about our culture and take our tour. Thanks!
          – JBH
          Aug 9 at 16:30






        • 1




          Pretty nice first post for Worldbuilding
          – Redwolf Programs
          Aug 12 at 17:27






        • 1




          The flying spoons are the medieval screen saver - predated the flying toasters (which required Edison to invent a few things first).
          – manassehkatz
          Aug 14 at 2:45












        • 1




          Welcome to Worldbuilding.SE! We're glad you could join us! When you have a moment, please click here to learn more about our culture and take our tour. Thanks!
          – JBH
          Aug 9 at 16:30






        • 1




          Pretty nice first post for Worldbuilding
          – Redwolf Programs
          Aug 12 at 17:27






        • 1




          The flying spoons are the medieval screen saver - predated the flying toasters (which required Edison to invent a few things first).
          – manassehkatz
          Aug 14 at 2:45







        1




        1




        Welcome to Worldbuilding.SE! We're glad you could join us! When you have a moment, please click here to learn more about our culture and take our tour. Thanks!
        – JBH
        Aug 9 at 16:30




        Welcome to Worldbuilding.SE! We're glad you could join us! When you have a moment, please click here to learn more about our culture and take our tour. Thanks!
        – JBH
        Aug 9 at 16:30




        1




        1




        Pretty nice first post for Worldbuilding
        – Redwolf Programs
        Aug 12 at 17:27




        Pretty nice first post for Worldbuilding
        – Redwolf Programs
        Aug 12 at 17:27




        1




        1




        The flying spoons are the medieval screen saver - predated the flying toasters (which required Edison to invent a few things first).
        – manassehkatz
        Aug 14 at 2:45




        The flying spoons are the medieval screen saver - predated the flying toasters (which required Edison to invent a few things first).
        – manassehkatz
        Aug 14 at 2:45










        up vote
        19
        down vote













        You could use the spoons to make a sort of medieval LRAD. Bind the spoons together to make a very large parabolic satellite dish. Turn the chamber towards the place where you want the sound to focus, stand in front of the parabola, and shout loudly into it.



        The shape of the parabola will determine the distance between itself and the focal point, which is where the sound will be most audible. So, I suggest that you construct this parabola by attaching each spoon to a geared tuning mechanism for adjusting the parabola. You have your engineer turn a crank which moves hundreds of small spines along fixed paths, with the goal of effectively driving the focal point farther and farther away.



        Now, if it gets too far away, then even though you shout very loudly, the sound might just not make it there. So, to complete this design, you need to hire a large chorus to loudly sing all your secret messages into the parabola. If the chorus is good and large, and the parabola is shaped precisely, then you should be able to send these messages remarkably far, and they would be most audible at their focal destination.



        Granted this only works with line of sight, but if you have enough spoons, I see no reason why you can't have acoustic spoon-satellites with large choruses in several locations around the empire.






        share|improve this answer






















        • Because sound travels better when there's air to travel through, and satellites orbit better when there isn't air to drag them into a decaying orb-- *SMASH*.
          – wizzwizz4
          Aug 10 at 9:58







        • 2




          Oh... you meant satellite dishes.
          – wizzwizz4
          Aug 10 at 10:41










        • Lol my mistake. I'll fix it
          – boxcartenant
          Aug 10 at 13:58










        • Oh wait... I get it---- dishes! rofl
          – boxcartenant
          Aug 10 at 14:01











        • You need to stand in the focal point to send the message parallel, or to receive a parallel incoming message. So you don't want a focal point too far away.
          – PaÅ­lo Ebermann
          Aug 10 at 20:11














        up vote
        19
        down vote













        You could use the spoons to make a sort of medieval LRAD. Bind the spoons together to make a very large parabolic satellite dish. Turn the chamber towards the place where you want the sound to focus, stand in front of the parabola, and shout loudly into it.



        The shape of the parabola will determine the distance between itself and the focal point, which is where the sound will be most audible. So, I suggest that you construct this parabola by attaching each spoon to a geared tuning mechanism for adjusting the parabola. You have your engineer turn a crank which moves hundreds of small spines along fixed paths, with the goal of effectively driving the focal point farther and farther away.



        Now, if it gets too far away, then even though you shout very loudly, the sound might just not make it there. So, to complete this design, you need to hire a large chorus to loudly sing all your secret messages into the parabola. If the chorus is good and large, and the parabola is shaped precisely, then you should be able to send these messages remarkably far, and they would be most audible at their focal destination.



        Granted this only works with line of sight, but if you have enough spoons, I see no reason why you can't have acoustic spoon-satellites with large choruses in several locations around the empire.






        share|improve this answer






















        • Because sound travels better when there's air to travel through, and satellites orbit better when there isn't air to drag them into a decaying orb-- *SMASH*.
          – wizzwizz4
          Aug 10 at 9:58







        • 2




          Oh... you meant satellite dishes.
          – wizzwizz4
          Aug 10 at 10:41










        • Lol my mistake. I'll fix it
          – boxcartenant
          Aug 10 at 13:58










        • Oh wait... I get it---- dishes! rofl
          – boxcartenant
          Aug 10 at 14:01











        • You need to stand in the focal point to send the message parallel, or to receive a parallel incoming message. So you don't want a focal point too far away.
          – PaÅ­lo Ebermann
          Aug 10 at 20:11












        up vote
        19
        down vote










        up vote
        19
        down vote









        You could use the spoons to make a sort of medieval LRAD. Bind the spoons together to make a very large parabolic satellite dish. Turn the chamber towards the place where you want the sound to focus, stand in front of the parabola, and shout loudly into it.



        The shape of the parabola will determine the distance between itself and the focal point, which is where the sound will be most audible. So, I suggest that you construct this parabola by attaching each spoon to a geared tuning mechanism for adjusting the parabola. You have your engineer turn a crank which moves hundreds of small spines along fixed paths, with the goal of effectively driving the focal point farther and farther away.



        Now, if it gets too far away, then even though you shout very loudly, the sound might just not make it there. So, to complete this design, you need to hire a large chorus to loudly sing all your secret messages into the parabola. If the chorus is good and large, and the parabola is shaped precisely, then you should be able to send these messages remarkably far, and they would be most audible at their focal destination.



        Granted this only works with line of sight, but if you have enough spoons, I see no reason why you can't have acoustic spoon-satellites with large choruses in several locations around the empire.






        share|improve this answer














        You could use the spoons to make a sort of medieval LRAD. Bind the spoons together to make a very large parabolic satellite dish. Turn the chamber towards the place where you want the sound to focus, stand in front of the parabola, and shout loudly into it.



        The shape of the parabola will determine the distance between itself and the focal point, which is where the sound will be most audible. So, I suggest that you construct this parabola by attaching each spoon to a geared tuning mechanism for adjusting the parabola. You have your engineer turn a crank which moves hundreds of small spines along fixed paths, with the goal of effectively driving the focal point farther and farther away.



        Now, if it gets too far away, then even though you shout very loudly, the sound might just not make it there. So, to complete this design, you need to hire a large chorus to loudly sing all your secret messages into the parabola. If the chorus is good and large, and the parabola is shaped precisely, then you should be able to send these messages remarkably far, and they would be most audible at their focal destination.



        Granted this only works with line of sight, but if you have enough spoons, I see no reason why you can't have acoustic spoon-satellites with large choruses in several locations around the empire.







        share|improve this answer














        share|improve this answer



        share|improve this answer








        edited Aug 10 at 13:58

























        answered Aug 9 at 16:29









        boxcartenant

        1,812116




        1,812116











        • Because sound travels better when there's air to travel through, and satellites orbit better when there isn't air to drag them into a decaying orb-- *SMASH*.
          – wizzwizz4
          Aug 10 at 9:58







        • 2




          Oh... you meant satellite dishes.
          – wizzwizz4
          Aug 10 at 10:41










        • Lol my mistake. I'll fix it
          – boxcartenant
          Aug 10 at 13:58










        • Oh wait... I get it---- dishes! rofl
          – boxcartenant
          Aug 10 at 14:01











        • You need to stand in the focal point to send the message parallel, or to receive a parallel incoming message. So you don't want a focal point too far away.
          – PaÅ­lo Ebermann
          Aug 10 at 20:11
















        • Because sound travels better when there's air to travel through, and satellites orbit better when there isn't air to drag them into a decaying orb-- *SMASH*.
          – wizzwizz4
          Aug 10 at 9:58







        • 2




          Oh... you meant satellite dishes.
          – wizzwizz4
          Aug 10 at 10:41










        • Lol my mistake. I'll fix it
          – boxcartenant
          Aug 10 at 13:58










        • Oh wait... I get it---- dishes! rofl
          – boxcartenant
          Aug 10 at 14:01











        • You need to stand in the focal point to send the message parallel, or to receive a parallel incoming message. So you don't want a focal point too far away.
          – PaÅ­lo Ebermann
          Aug 10 at 20:11















        Because sound travels better when there's air to travel through, and satellites orbit better when there isn't air to drag them into a decaying orb-- *SMASH*.
        – wizzwizz4
        Aug 10 at 9:58





        Because sound travels better when there's air to travel through, and satellites orbit better when there isn't air to drag them into a decaying orb-- *SMASH*.
        – wizzwizz4
        Aug 10 at 9:58





        2




        2




        Oh... you meant satellite dishes.
        – wizzwizz4
        Aug 10 at 10:41




        Oh... you meant satellite dishes.
        – wizzwizz4
        Aug 10 at 10:41












        Lol my mistake. I'll fix it
        – boxcartenant
        Aug 10 at 13:58




        Lol my mistake. I'll fix it
        – boxcartenant
        Aug 10 at 13:58












        Oh wait... I get it---- dishes! rofl
        – boxcartenant
        Aug 10 at 14:01





        Oh wait... I get it---- dishes! rofl
        – boxcartenant
        Aug 10 at 14:01













        You need to stand in the focal point to send the message parallel, or to receive a parallel incoming message. So you don't want a focal point too far away.
        – PaÅ­lo Ebermann
        Aug 10 at 20:11




        You need to stand in the focal point to send the message parallel, or to receive a parallel incoming message. So you don't want a focal point too far away.
        – PaÅ­lo Ebermann
        Aug 10 at 20:11










        up vote
        18
        down vote













        Pneumatic tubes



        It not only allows to send messages, but smaller items without interruption with speeds up to 40-90 km/h. The system is from a mechanical viewpoint absolutely doable in mediaeval times, it is just that nobody had the idea to actually do it.



        My current hometown Hamburg had several long pneumatic lines to avoid transporting letters with cars. The diameter was 45 cm, the length of a transport pipe was 1.6 m, so approximately 1000 letters could be transported with ease. It was quite a modern system, it was constructed from 1962 on. What needed half an hour with a postal car was now done in few minutes. Unfortunately the vibrations of the roads caused misalignments and damages, so it ran only until 1976. Many of the old systems are still buried under the ground.
        All in all the lines had a length of approximately 50 km.



        enter image description here



        Wikimedia Commons, Public Domain, Prof. Dr. Nemo Klein, 2006-09-20






        share|improve this answer
















        • 9




          Interesting, it was designed to combat vehicle traffic but the cars fought back!
          – Kelly Thomas
          Aug 10 at 0:42







        • 3




          "The system is from a mechanical viewpoint absolutely doable in mediaeval times..." There is probably doable and doable. It would still require quite high quality and maintenance to make this happen reliably for a large kingdom where you literally have to connect thousands of km of length. And what air pressure do you actually need to produce?
          – Trilarion
          Aug 10 at 7:18






        • 3




          @Trilarion Not much pressure is needed. The typical corc jumping out of the champagne bottle with 2.5 bar has a speed of 40 km/h. For e.g. 3 bar you only need a air pressure reservoir A, a connected reservoir B for refilling with size 2:1 which is initially empty, connection with A on the top and a water tower C filling the connected reservoir on the bottom with a height of 30m. The water could be get by rain (or brought upward by an Archimeadan spiral). The use of siphons is already known by Heron of Alexandria "Peri Automatopoietikes".
          – Thorsten S.
          Aug 10 at 23:40














        up vote
        18
        down vote













        Pneumatic tubes



        It not only allows to send messages, but smaller items without interruption with speeds up to 40-90 km/h. The system is from a mechanical viewpoint absolutely doable in mediaeval times, it is just that nobody had the idea to actually do it.



        My current hometown Hamburg had several long pneumatic lines to avoid transporting letters with cars. The diameter was 45 cm, the length of a transport pipe was 1.6 m, so approximately 1000 letters could be transported with ease. It was quite a modern system, it was constructed from 1962 on. What needed half an hour with a postal car was now done in few minutes. Unfortunately the vibrations of the roads caused misalignments and damages, so it ran only until 1976. Many of the old systems are still buried under the ground.
        All in all the lines had a length of approximately 50 km.



        enter image description here



        Wikimedia Commons, Public Domain, Prof. Dr. Nemo Klein, 2006-09-20






        share|improve this answer
















        • 9




          Interesting, it was designed to combat vehicle traffic but the cars fought back!
          – Kelly Thomas
          Aug 10 at 0:42







        • 3




          "The system is from a mechanical viewpoint absolutely doable in mediaeval times..." There is probably doable and doable. It would still require quite high quality and maintenance to make this happen reliably for a large kingdom where you literally have to connect thousands of km of length. And what air pressure do you actually need to produce?
          – Trilarion
          Aug 10 at 7:18






        • 3




          @Trilarion Not much pressure is needed. The typical corc jumping out of the champagne bottle with 2.5 bar has a speed of 40 km/h. For e.g. 3 bar you only need a air pressure reservoir A, a connected reservoir B for refilling with size 2:1 which is initially empty, connection with A on the top and a water tower C filling the connected reservoir on the bottom with a height of 30m. The water could be get by rain (or brought upward by an Archimeadan spiral). The use of siphons is already known by Heron of Alexandria "Peri Automatopoietikes".
          – Thorsten S.
          Aug 10 at 23:40












        up vote
        18
        down vote










        up vote
        18
        down vote









        Pneumatic tubes



        It not only allows to send messages, but smaller items without interruption with speeds up to 40-90 km/h. The system is from a mechanical viewpoint absolutely doable in mediaeval times, it is just that nobody had the idea to actually do it.



        My current hometown Hamburg had several long pneumatic lines to avoid transporting letters with cars. The diameter was 45 cm, the length of a transport pipe was 1.6 m, so approximately 1000 letters could be transported with ease. It was quite a modern system, it was constructed from 1962 on. What needed half an hour with a postal car was now done in few minutes. Unfortunately the vibrations of the roads caused misalignments and damages, so it ran only until 1976. Many of the old systems are still buried under the ground.
        All in all the lines had a length of approximately 50 km.



        enter image description here



        Wikimedia Commons, Public Domain, Prof. Dr. Nemo Klein, 2006-09-20






        share|improve this answer












        Pneumatic tubes



        It not only allows to send messages, but smaller items without interruption with speeds up to 40-90 km/h. The system is from a mechanical viewpoint absolutely doable in mediaeval times, it is just that nobody had the idea to actually do it.



        My current hometown Hamburg had several long pneumatic lines to avoid transporting letters with cars. The diameter was 45 cm, the length of a transport pipe was 1.6 m, so approximately 1000 letters could be transported with ease. It was quite a modern system, it was constructed from 1962 on. What needed half an hour with a postal car was now done in few minutes. Unfortunately the vibrations of the roads caused misalignments and damages, so it ran only until 1976. Many of the old systems are still buried under the ground.
        All in all the lines had a length of approximately 50 km.



        enter image description here



        Wikimedia Commons, Public Domain, Prof. Dr. Nemo Klein, 2006-09-20







        share|improve this answer












        share|improve this answer



        share|improve this answer










        answered Aug 9 at 19:25









        Thorsten S.

        13.3k12659




        13.3k12659







        • 9




          Interesting, it was designed to combat vehicle traffic but the cars fought back!
          – Kelly Thomas
          Aug 10 at 0:42







        • 3




          "The system is from a mechanical viewpoint absolutely doable in mediaeval times..." There is probably doable and doable. It would still require quite high quality and maintenance to make this happen reliably for a large kingdom where you literally have to connect thousands of km of length. And what air pressure do you actually need to produce?
          – Trilarion
          Aug 10 at 7:18






        • 3




          @Trilarion Not much pressure is needed. The typical corc jumping out of the champagne bottle with 2.5 bar has a speed of 40 km/h. For e.g. 3 bar you only need a air pressure reservoir A, a connected reservoir B for refilling with size 2:1 which is initially empty, connection with A on the top and a water tower C filling the connected reservoir on the bottom with a height of 30m. The water could be get by rain (or brought upward by an Archimeadan spiral). The use of siphons is already known by Heron of Alexandria "Peri Automatopoietikes".
          – Thorsten S.
          Aug 10 at 23:40












        • 9




          Interesting, it was designed to combat vehicle traffic but the cars fought back!
          – Kelly Thomas
          Aug 10 at 0:42







        • 3




          "The system is from a mechanical viewpoint absolutely doable in mediaeval times..." There is probably doable and doable. It would still require quite high quality and maintenance to make this happen reliably for a large kingdom where you literally have to connect thousands of km of length. And what air pressure do you actually need to produce?
          – Trilarion
          Aug 10 at 7:18






        • 3




          @Trilarion Not much pressure is needed. The typical corc jumping out of the champagne bottle with 2.5 bar has a speed of 40 km/h. For e.g. 3 bar you only need a air pressure reservoir A, a connected reservoir B for refilling with size 2:1 which is initially empty, connection with A on the top and a water tower C filling the connected reservoir on the bottom with a height of 30m. The water could be get by rain (or brought upward by an Archimeadan spiral). The use of siphons is already known by Heron of Alexandria "Peri Automatopoietikes".
          – Thorsten S.
          Aug 10 at 23:40







        9




        9




        Interesting, it was designed to combat vehicle traffic but the cars fought back!
        – Kelly Thomas
        Aug 10 at 0:42





        Interesting, it was designed to combat vehicle traffic but the cars fought back!
        – Kelly Thomas
        Aug 10 at 0:42





        3




        3




        "The system is from a mechanical viewpoint absolutely doable in mediaeval times..." There is probably doable and doable. It would still require quite high quality and maintenance to make this happen reliably for a large kingdom where you literally have to connect thousands of km of length. And what air pressure do you actually need to produce?
        – Trilarion
        Aug 10 at 7:18




        "The system is from a mechanical viewpoint absolutely doable in mediaeval times..." There is probably doable and doable. It would still require quite high quality and maintenance to make this happen reliably for a large kingdom where you literally have to connect thousands of km of length. And what air pressure do you actually need to produce?
        – Trilarion
        Aug 10 at 7:18




        3




        3




        @Trilarion Not much pressure is needed. The typical corc jumping out of the champagne bottle with 2.5 bar has a speed of 40 km/h. For e.g. 3 bar you only need a air pressure reservoir A, a connected reservoir B for refilling with size 2:1 which is initially empty, connection with A on the top and a water tower C filling the connected reservoir on the bottom with a height of 30m. The water could be get by rain (or brought upward by an Archimeadan spiral). The use of siphons is already known by Heron of Alexandria "Peri Automatopoietikes".
        – Thorsten S.
        Aug 10 at 23:40




        @Trilarion Not much pressure is needed. The typical corc jumping out of the champagne bottle with 2.5 bar has a speed of 40 km/h. For e.g. 3 bar you only need a air pressure reservoir A, a connected reservoir B for refilling with size 2:1 which is initially empty, connection with A on the top and a water tower C filling the connected reservoir on the bottom with a height of 30m. The water could be get by rain (or brought upward by an Archimeadan spiral). The use of siphons is already known by Heron of Alexandria "Peri Automatopoietikes".
        – Thorsten S.
        Aug 10 at 23:40










        up vote
        17
        down vote













        Use your horses to go to someone else's kingdom and import pigeons back to your kingdom.



        You specified that you have a big kingdom and not that you have the only kingdom in existence ;-)






        share|improve this answer




















        • As long as it's not my kingdom that's fine. A certain alchemist promised me unlimited gold and silver by turning all of my pidgeons into spoons, too.
          – Aric
          Aug 14 at 18:15






        • 1




          @AricFowler As a responsible ruler of your kingdom you would have foreseen the consequences of unlimited gold and declined their offer.
          – MonkeyZeus
          Aug 14 at 18:27














        up vote
        17
        down vote













        Use your horses to go to someone else's kingdom and import pigeons back to your kingdom.



        You specified that you have a big kingdom and not that you have the only kingdom in existence ;-)






        share|improve this answer




















        • As long as it's not my kingdom that's fine. A certain alchemist promised me unlimited gold and silver by turning all of my pidgeons into spoons, too.
          – Aric
          Aug 14 at 18:15






        • 1




          @AricFowler As a responsible ruler of your kingdom you would have foreseen the consequences of unlimited gold and declined their offer.
          – MonkeyZeus
          Aug 14 at 18:27












        up vote
        17
        down vote










        up vote
        17
        down vote









        Use your horses to go to someone else's kingdom and import pigeons back to your kingdom.



        You specified that you have a big kingdom and not that you have the only kingdom in existence ;-)






        share|improve this answer












        Use your horses to go to someone else's kingdom and import pigeons back to your kingdom.



        You specified that you have a big kingdom and not that you have the only kingdom in existence ;-)







        share|improve this answer












        share|improve this answer



        share|improve this answer










        answered Aug 9 at 15:00









        MonkeyZeus

        44327




        44327











        • As long as it's not my kingdom that's fine. A certain alchemist promised me unlimited gold and silver by turning all of my pidgeons into spoons, too.
          – Aric
          Aug 14 at 18:15






        • 1




          @AricFowler As a responsible ruler of your kingdom you would have foreseen the consequences of unlimited gold and declined their offer.
          – MonkeyZeus
          Aug 14 at 18:27
















        • As long as it's not my kingdom that's fine. A certain alchemist promised me unlimited gold and silver by turning all of my pidgeons into spoons, too.
          – Aric
          Aug 14 at 18:15






        • 1




          @AricFowler As a responsible ruler of your kingdom you would have foreseen the consequences of unlimited gold and declined their offer.
          – MonkeyZeus
          Aug 14 at 18:27















        As long as it's not my kingdom that's fine. A certain alchemist promised me unlimited gold and silver by turning all of my pidgeons into spoons, too.
        – Aric
        Aug 14 at 18:15




        As long as it's not my kingdom that's fine. A certain alchemist promised me unlimited gold and silver by turning all of my pidgeons into spoons, too.
        – Aric
        Aug 14 at 18:15




        1




        1




        @AricFowler As a responsible ruler of your kingdom you would have foreseen the consequences of unlimited gold and declined their offer.
        – MonkeyZeus
        Aug 14 at 18:27




        @AricFowler As a responsible ruler of your kingdom you would have foreseen the consequences of unlimited gold and declined their offer.
        – MonkeyZeus
        Aug 14 at 18:27










        up vote
        12
        down vote













        Spoon catapults! Place the spoon over a branch (or similar), put your message around a small stone, place the stone in the scoop, take aim, and whack the handle!



        You'll have to whack quite hard to get the range of a pidgeon, but that's what sledgehammers are for...






        share|improve this answer






















        • Every one knows that if you want to throw things around is best to use a trebuchet, they can trow 90kg stones over 300m!
          – draconk
          Aug 13 at 10:04






        • 1




          @draconk a 90kg spoon seems excessive for any pigeon conversion.... what sort of message are you sending, the bible?
          – UKMonkey
          Aug 13 at 13:10










        • @ukmonkey Pretty hefty, even for a bible...
          – Bex
          Aug 13 at 13:53






        • 4




          90kg collection of bibles launched into enemy castles by trebuchet. Religious wars done right.
          – Adrian773
          Aug 13 at 23:31














        up vote
        12
        down vote













        Spoon catapults! Place the spoon over a branch (or similar), put your message around a small stone, place the stone in the scoop, take aim, and whack the handle!



        You'll have to whack quite hard to get the range of a pidgeon, but that's what sledgehammers are for...






        share|improve this answer






















        • Every one knows that if you want to throw things around is best to use a trebuchet, they can trow 90kg stones over 300m!
          – draconk
          Aug 13 at 10:04






        • 1




          @draconk a 90kg spoon seems excessive for any pigeon conversion.... what sort of message are you sending, the bible?
          – UKMonkey
          Aug 13 at 13:10










        • @ukmonkey Pretty hefty, even for a bible...
          – Bex
          Aug 13 at 13:53






        • 4




          90kg collection of bibles launched into enemy castles by trebuchet. Religious wars done right.
          – Adrian773
          Aug 13 at 23:31












        up vote
        12
        down vote










        up vote
        12
        down vote









        Spoon catapults! Place the spoon over a branch (or similar), put your message around a small stone, place the stone in the scoop, take aim, and whack the handle!



        You'll have to whack quite hard to get the range of a pidgeon, but that's what sledgehammers are for...






        share|improve this answer














        Spoon catapults! Place the spoon over a branch (or similar), put your message around a small stone, place the stone in the scoop, take aim, and whack the handle!



        You'll have to whack quite hard to get the range of a pidgeon, but that's what sledgehammers are for...







        share|improve this answer














        share|improve this answer



        share|improve this answer








        edited Aug 10 at 9:26

























        answered Aug 9 at 14:23









        Bex

        39917




        39917











        • Every one knows that if you want to throw things around is best to use a trebuchet, they can trow 90kg stones over 300m!
          – draconk
          Aug 13 at 10:04






        • 1




          @draconk a 90kg spoon seems excessive for any pigeon conversion.... what sort of message are you sending, the bible?
          – UKMonkey
          Aug 13 at 13:10










        • @ukmonkey Pretty hefty, even for a bible...
          – Bex
          Aug 13 at 13:53






        • 4




          90kg collection of bibles launched into enemy castles by trebuchet. Religious wars done right.
          – Adrian773
          Aug 13 at 23:31
















        • Every one knows that if you want to throw things around is best to use a trebuchet, they can trow 90kg stones over 300m!
          – draconk
          Aug 13 at 10:04






        • 1




          @draconk a 90kg spoon seems excessive for any pigeon conversion.... what sort of message are you sending, the bible?
          – UKMonkey
          Aug 13 at 13:10










        • @ukmonkey Pretty hefty, even for a bible...
          – Bex
          Aug 13 at 13:53






        • 4




          90kg collection of bibles launched into enemy castles by trebuchet. Religious wars done right.
          – Adrian773
          Aug 13 at 23:31















        Every one knows that if you want to throw things around is best to use a trebuchet, they can trow 90kg stones over 300m!
        – draconk
        Aug 13 at 10:04




        Every one knows that if you want to throw things around is best to use a trebuchet, they can trow 90kg stones over 300m!
        – draconk
        Aug 13 at 10:04




        1




        1




        @draconk a 90kg spoon seems excessive for any pigeon conversion.... what sort of message are you sending, the bible?
        – UKMonkey
        Aug 13 at 13:10




        @draconk a 90kg spoon seems excessive for any pigeon conversion.... what sort of message are you sending, the bible?
        – UKMonkey
        Aug 13 at 13:10












        @ukmonkey Pretty hefty, even for a bible...
        – Bex
        Aug 13 at 13:53




        @ukmonkey Pretty hefty, even for a bible...
        – Bex
        Aug 13 at 13:53




        4




        4




        90kg collection of bibles launched into enemy castles by trebuchet. Religious wars done right.
        – Adrian773
        Aug 13 at 23:31




        90kg collection of bibles launched into enemy castles by trebuchet. Religious wars done right.
        – Adrian773
        Aug 13 at 23:31










        up vote
        10
        down vote













        Two methods I can think of off the top of my head:



        • Semaphore. Using a pair of flags in various positions, they are best used with relay towers and can send messages for miles. Reusable.

        • Fire signals. Using the smokes of bonfires and blankets to produce a crude form of morse code. Needs fuel to be used though.





        share|improve this answer




















        • Possibly burning wooden spoons to create the fire?
          – Mawg
          Aug 13 at 13:50










        • If you have thousands of wooden spoons to burn, I don't see why not!
          – Joe P
          Aug 14 at 16:54














        up vote
        10
        down vote













        Two methods I can think of off the top of my head:



        • Semaphore. Using a pair of flags in various positions, they are best used with relay towers and can send messages for miles. Reusable.

        • Fire signals. Using the smokes of bonfires and blankets to produce a crude form of morse code. Needs fuel to be used though.





        share|improve this answer




















        • Possibly burning wooden spoons to create the fire?
          – Mawg
          Aug 13 at 13:50










        • If you have thousands of wooden spoons to burn, I don't see why not!
          – Joe P
          Aug 14 at 16:54












        up vote
        10
        down vote










        up vote
        10
        down vote









        Two methods I can think of off the top of my head:



        • Semaphore. Using a pair of flags in various positions, they are best used with relay towers and can send messages for miles. Reusable.

        • Fire signals. Using the smokes of bonfires and blankets to produce a crude form of morse code. Needs fuel to be used though.





        share|improve this answer












        Two methods I can think of off the top of my head:



        • Semaphore. Using a pair of flags in various positions, they are best used with relay towers and can send messages for miles. Reusable.

        • Fire signals. Using the smokes of bonfires and blankets to produce a crude form of morse code. Needs fuel to be used though.






        share|improve this answer












        share|improve this answer



        share|improve this answer










        answered Aug 9 at 13:18









        Joe P

        809415




        809415











        • Possibly burning wooden spoons to create the fire?
          – Mawg
          Aug 13 at 13:50










        • If you have thousands of wooden spoons to burn, I don't see why not!
          – Joe P
          Aug 14 at 16:54
















        • Possibly burning wooden spoons to create the fire?
          – Mawg
          Aug 13 at 13:50










        • If you have thousands of wooden spoons to burn, I don't see why not!
          – Joe P
          Aug 14 at 16:54















        Possibly burning wooden spoons to create the fire?
        – Mawg
        Aug 13 at 13:50




        Possibly burning wooden spoons to create the fire?
        – Mawg
        Aug 13 at 13:50












        If you have thousands of wooden spoons to burn, I don't see why not!
        – Joe P
        Aug 14 at 16:54




        If you have thousands of wooden spoons to burn, I don't see why not!
        – Joe P
        Aug 14 at 16:54










        up vote
        10
        down vote













        Use Kites



        Kites can be used to send messages. They are cheap, can be easily flown with little expertise, you don't need to build expensive towers, they even work at night by flying lanterns along the string.



        The combination of size/shape/pattern/color of the kite can convey the message. A network of kite flyers throughout the country can convey messages over long distances.



        Rotate the phrase-book every few weeks to stop the enemy from decoding your intentions.



        Cons: You're out of luck if it's raining or very very still weather (no wind)






        share|improve this answer
















        • 6




          Would hot air balloons work for still weather?
          – EveryBitHelps
          Aug 9 at 15:18







        • 3




          @EveryBitHelps That would be perfect, but they take a bit (lot) more to engineer
          – DhDd
          Aug 10 at 7:05














        up vote
        10
        down vote













        Use Kites



        Kites can be used to send messages. They are cheap, can be easily flown with little expertise, you don't need to build expensive towers, they even work at night by flying lanterns along the string.



        The combination of size/shape/pattern/color of the kite can convey the message. A network of kite flyers throughout the country can convey messages over long distances.



        Rotate the phrase-book every few weeks to stop the enemy from decoding your intentions.



        Cons: You're out of luck if it's raining or very very still weather (no wind)






        share|improve this answer
















        • 6




          Would hot air balloons work for still weather?
          – EveryBitHelps
          Aug 9 at 15:18







        • 3




          @EveryBitHelps That would be perfect, but they take a bit (lot) more to engineer
          – DhDd
          Aug 10 at 7:05












        up vote
        10
        down vote










        up vote
        10
        down vote









        Use Kites



        Kites can be used to send messages. They are cheap, can be easily flown with little expertise, you don't need to build expensive towers, they even work at night by flying lanterns along the string.



        The combination of size/shape/pattern/color of the kite can convey the message. A network of kite flyers throughout the country can convey messages over long distances.



        Rotate the phrase-book every few weeks to stop the enemy from decoding your intentions.



        Cons: You're out of luck if it's raining or very very still weather (no wind)






        share|improve this answer












        Use Kites



        Kites can be used to send messages. They are cheap, can be easily flown with little expertise, you don't need to build expensive towers, they even work at night by flying lanterns along the string.



        The combination of size/shape/pattern/color of the kite can convey the message. A network of kite flyers throughout the country can convey messages over long distances.



        Rotate the phrase-book every few weeks to stop the enemy from decoding your intentions.



        Cons: You're out of luck if it's raining or very very still weather (no wind)







        share|improve this answer












        share|improve this answer



        share|improve this answer










        answered Aug 9 at 15:00









        DhDd

        878310




        878310







        • 6




          Would hot air balloons work for still weather?
          – EveryBitHelps
          Aug 9 at 15:18







        • 3




          @EveryBitHelps That would be perfect, but they take a bit (lot) more to engineer
          – DhDd
          Aug 10 at 7:05












        • 6




          Would hot air balloons work for still weather?
          – EveryBitHelps
          Aug 9 at 15:18







        • 3




          @EveryBitHelps That would be perfect, but they take a bit (lot) more to engineer
          – DhDd
          Aug 10 at 7:05







        6




        6




        Would hot air balloons work for still weather?
        – EveryBitHelps
        Aug 9 at 15:18





        Would hot air balloons work for still weather?
        – EveryBitHelps
        Aug 9 at 15:18





        3




        3




        @EveryBitHelps That would be perfect, but they take a bit (lot) more to engineer
        – DhDd
        Aug 10 at 7:05




        @EveryBitHelps That would be perfect, but they take a bit (lot) more to engineer
        – DhDd
        Aug 10 at 7:05










        up vote
        10
        down vote













        You will want to play those spoons.



        playing spoons



        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhggIC0D--4


        I think of the fantasies in which there are a series of towers on which bonfires were set to be lit in time of need. The next tower along to line would see the fire and light their own, and so the signal propagates.



        So too with your spoons. The spoon player would sit in front of a large parabolic dish many meters across, and play the message. Atop the next tower the next spoon player listens in front of his own dish pointing to the first tower, which captures and amplifies the distant clicks and clack. He then walks around the tower to the transmitting dish and sends the message on.






        share|improve this answer




















        • I suggest for practicality, playing a drum in front of the parabolic dish might be more effective, and has some precedent in native-american signal-drumming.
          – Ruadhan
          Aug 10 at 12:13














        up vote
        10
        down vote













        You will want to play those spoons.



        playing spoons



        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhggIC0D--4


        I think of the fantasies in which there are a series of towers on which bonfires were set to be lit in time of need. The next tower along to line would see the fire and light their own, and so the signal propagates.



        So too with your spoons. The spoon player would sit in front of a large parabolic dish many meters across, and play the message. Atop the next tower the next spoon player listens in front of his own dish pointing to the first tower, which captures and amplifies the distant clicks and clack. He then walks around the tower to the transmitting dish and sends the message on.






        share|improve this answer




















        • I suggest for practicality, playing a drum in front of the parabolic dish might be more effective, and has some precedent in native-american signal-drumming.
          – Ruadhan
          Aug 10 at 12:13












        up vote
        10
        down vote










        up vote
        10
        down vote









        You will want to play those spoons.



        playing spoons



        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhggIC0D--4


        I think of the fantasies in which there are a series of towers on which bonfires were set to be lit in time of need. The next tower along to line would see the fire and light their own, and so the signal propagates.



        So too with your spoons. The spoon player would sit in front of a large parabolic dish many meters across, and play the message. Atop the next tower the next spoon player listens in front of his own dish pointing to the first tower, which captures and amplifies the distant clicks and clack. He then walks around the tower to the transmitting dish and sends the message on.






        share|improve this answer












        You will want to play those spoons.



        playing spoons



        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhggIC0D--4


        I think of the fantasies in which there are a series of towers on which bonfires were set to be lit in time of need. The next tower along to line would see the fire and light their own, and so the signal propagates.



        So too with your spoons. The spoon player would sit in front of a large parabolic dish many meters across, and play the message. Atop the next tower the next spoon player listens in front of his own dish pointing to the first tower, which captures and amplifies the distant clicks and clack. He then walks around the tower to the transmitting dish and sends the message on.







        share|improve this answer












        share|improve this answer



        share|improve this answer










        answered Aug 9 at 22:59









        Willk

        86.2k21169371




        86.2k21169371











        • I suggest for practicality, playing a drum in front of the parabolic dish might be more effective, and has some precedent in native-american signal-drumming.
          – Ruadhan
          Aug 10 at 12:13
















        • I suggest for practicality, playing a drum in front of the parabolic dish might be more effective, and has some precedent in native-american signal-drumming.
          – Ruadhan
          Aug 10 at 12:13















        I suggest for practicality, playing a drum in front of the parabolic dish might be more effective, and has some precedent in native-american signal-drumming.
        – Ruadhan
        Aug 10 at 12:13




        I suggest for practicality, playing a drum in front of the parabolic dish might be more effective, and has some precedent in native-american signal-drumming.
        – Ruadhan
        Aug 10 at 12:13










        up vote
        7
        down vote













        As the ruler of a great kingdom, surely you have multiple options:



        • Sell all your spoons to a neighbouring kingdom that does still have
          pigeons to buy them


        • Commence a nation-wide manhunt for the court alchemist (reward:
          spoons) and 'convince' him to fix the situation


        • If there's powerful magic in your world, have your court mages send 'long-range fireblasts' set to explode at given intervals akin to morse code (obviously you'll need a code book so the enemy won't decipher the message)


        • Start experimenting with turning birds into enormous, mountable monstrosities / combining bird and man into one body


        • Appoint volunteers who will attempt untested teleportation magic with ancient, recently discovered runes or transmute them into pigeons






        share|improve this answer
















        • 7




          for convincing the court alchemist, hit him with spoons 'till he agrees
          – Ajnatorix Zersolar
          Aug 9 at 15:49










        • Selling spoons is probably not worth it. Wooden spoons were common in medieval times so I think it is safe to assume the pigeons were turned into wooden spoons - not modern spoons.
          – Ole Tange
          Aug 12 at 8:30










        • @AjnatorixZersolar At least he didn't turn the pigeons into hammers...
          – Redwolf Programs
          Aug 12 at 17:29














        up vote
        7
        down vote













        As the ruler of a great kingdom, surely you have multiple options:



        • Sell all your spoons to a neighbouring kingdom that does still have
          pigeons to buy them


        • Commence a nation-wide manhunt for the court alchemist (reward:
          spoons) and 'convince' him to fix the situation


        • If there's powerful magic in your world, have your court mages send 'long-range fireblasts' set to explode at given intervals akin to morse code (obviously you'll need a code book so the enemy won't decipher the message)


        • Start experimenting with turning birds into enormous, mountable monstrosities / combining bird and man into one body


        • Appoint volunteers who will attempt untested teleportation magic with ancient, recently discovered runes or transmute them into pigeons






        share|improve this answer
















        • 7




          for convincing the court alchemist, hit him with spoons 'till he agrees
          – Ajnatorix Zersolar
          Aug 9 at 15:49










        • Selling spoons is probably not worth it. Wooden spoons were common in medieval times so I think it is safe to assume the pigeons were turned into wooden spoons - not modern spoons.
          – Ole Tange
          Aug 12 at 8:30










        • @AjnatorixZersolar At least he didn't turn the pigeons into hammers...
          – Redwolf Programs
          Aug 12 at 17:29












        up vote
        7
        down vote










        up vote
        7
        down vote









        As the ruler of a great kingdom, surely you have multiple options:



        • Sell all your spoons to a neighbouring kingdom that does still have
          pigeons to buy them


        • Commence a nation-wide manhunt for the court alchemist (reward:
          spoons) and 'convince' him to fix the situation


        • If there's powerful magic in your world, have your court mages send 'long-range fireblasts' set to explode at given intervals akin to morse code (obviously you'll need a code book so the enemy won't decipher the message)


        • Start experimenting with turning birds into enormous, mountable monstrosities / combining bird and man into one body


        • Appoint volunteers who will attempt untested teleportation magic with ancient, recently discovered runes or transmute them into pigeons






        share|improve this answer












        As the ruler of a great kingdom, surely you have multiple options:



        • Sell all your spoons to a neighbouring kingdom that does still have
          pigeons to buy them


        • Commence a nation-wide manhunt for the court alchemist (reward:
          spoons) and 'convince' him to fix the situation


        • If there's powerful magic in your world, have your court mages send 'long-range fireblasts' set to explode at given intervals akin to morse code (obviously you'll need a code book so the enemy won't decipher the message)


        • Start experimenting with turning birds into enormous, mountable monstrosities / combining bird and man into one body


        • Appoint volunteers who will attempt untested teleportation magic with ancient, recently discovered runes or transmute them into pigeons







        share|improve this answer












        share|improve this answer



        share|improve this answer










        answered Aug 9 at 15:38









        Malfunction

        37617




        37617







        • 7




          for convincing the court alchemist, hit him with spoons 'till he agrees
          – Ajnatorix Zersolar
          Aug 9 at 15:49










        • Selling spoons is probably not worth it. Wooden spoons were common in medieval times so I think it is safe to assume the pigeons were turned into wooden spoons - not modern spoons.
          – Ole Tange
          Aug 12 at 8:30










        • @AjnatorixZersolar At least he didn't turn the pigeons into hammers...
          – Redwolf Programs
          Aug 12 at 17:29












        • 7




          for convincing the court alchemist, hit him with spoons 'till he agrees
          – Ajnatorix Zersolar
          Aug 9 at 15:49










        • Selling spoons is probably not worth it. Wooden spoons were common in medieval times so I think it is safe to assume the pigeons were turned into wooden spoons - not modern spoons.
          – Ole Tange
          Aug 12 at 8:30










        • @AjnatorixZersolar At least he didn't turn the pigeons into hammers...
          – Redwolf Programs
          Aug 12 at 17:29







        7




        7




        for convincing the court alchemist, hit him with spoons 'till he agrees
        – Ajnatorix Zersolar
        Aug 9 at 15:49




        for convincing the court alchemist, hit him with spoons 'till he agrees
        – Ajnatorix Zersolar
        Aug 9 at 15:49












        Selling spoons is probably not worth it. Wooden spoons were common in medieval times so I think it is safe to assume the pigeons were turned into wooden spoons - not modern spoons.
        – Ole Tange
        Aug 12 at 8:30




        Selling spoons is probably not worth it. Wooden spoons were common in medieval times so I think it is safe to assume the pigeons were turned into wooden spoons - not modern spoons.
        – Ole Tange
        Aug 12 at 8:30












        @AjnatorixZersolar At least he didn't turn the pigeons into hammers...
        – Redwolf Programs
        Aug 12 at 17:29




        @AjnatorixZersolar At least he didn't turn the pigeons into hammers...
        – Redwolf Programs
        Aug 12 at 17:29










        up vote
        5
        down vote













        Drums and communication by sound



        With drums you can encode short messages as a unique pattern of sounds and sound travels really fast (>300m/s) and a chain of drummers situated at suitable distances can transmit the message on and on.



        If you are worried about the drummers making mistakes inventing some form of error correction code might be a good idea.



        Only drawback: That constant drumming in your castle and in all areas around it will drive you crazy.



        Alternative: Try Didgeridoos or Alphorns.






        share|improve this answer
























          up vote
          5
          down vote













          Drums and communication by sound



          With drums you can encode short messages as a unique pattern of sounds and sound travels really fast (>300m/s) and a chain of drummers situated at suitable distances can transmit the message on and on.



          If you are worried about the drummers making mistakes inventing some form of error correction code might be a good idea.



          Only drawback: That constant drumming in your castle and in all areas around it will drive you crazy.



          Alternative: Try Didgeridoos or Alphorns.






          share|improve this answer






















            up vote
            5
            down vote










            up vote
            5
            down vote









            Drums and communication by sound



            With drums you can encode short messages as a unique pattern of sounds and sound travels really fast (>300m/s) and a chain of drummers situated at suitable distances can transmit the message on and on.



            If you are worried about the drummers making mistakes inventing some form of error correction code might be a good idea.



            Only drawback: That constant drumming in your castle and in all areas around it will drive you crazy.



            Alternative: Try Didgeridoos or Alphorns.






            share|improve this answer












            Drums and communication by sound



            With drums you can encode short messages as a unique pattern of sounds and sound travels really fast (>300m/s) and a chain of drummers situated at suitable distances can transmit the message on and on.



            If you are worried about the drummers making mistakes inventing some form of error correction code might be a good idea.



            Only drawback: That constant drumming in your castle and in all areas around it will drive you crazy.



            Alternative: Try Didgeridoos or Alphorns.







            share|improve this answer












            share|improve this answer



            share|improve this answer










            answered Aug 10 at 7:26









            Trilarion

            45058




            45058




















                up vote
                2
                down vote













                Create a minor catapault network using only spoons and branches. You can probably launch a short message several dozens of meters per spoon. Assuming you have many hundreds or thousands of spoons now, you should be able to link your communication network up.



                It's a bit vulnerable to high winds, but then again, your birds kind of were too.






                share|improve this answer
























                  up vote
                  2
                  down vote













                  Create a minor catapault network using only spoons and branches. You can probably launch a short message several dozens of meters per spoon. Assuming you have many hundreds or thousands of spoons now, you should be able to link your communication network up.



                  It's a bit vulnerable to high winds, but then again, your birds kind of were too.






                  share|improve this answer






















                    up vote
                    2
                    down vote










                    up vote
                    2
                    down vote









                    Create a minor catapault network using only spoons and branches. You can probably launch a short message several dozens of meters per spoon. Assuming you have many hundreds or thousands of spoons now, you should be able to link your communication network up.



                    It's a bit vulnerable to high winds, but then again, your birds kind of were too.






                    share|improve this answer












                    Create a minor catapault network using only spoons and branches. You can probably launch a short message several dozens of meters per spoon. Assuming you have many hundreds or thousands of spoons now, you should be able to link your communication network up.



                    It's a bit vulnerable to high winds, but then again, your birds kind of were too.







                    share|improve this answer












                    share|improve this answer



                    share|improve this answer










                    answered Aug 10 at 18:01









                    Wayne Werner

                    52945




                    52945




















                        up vote
                        2
                        down vote













                        Shine them up and trade them to crows in exchange for delivering your message.






                        share|improve this answer




















                        • Magpies, surely?
                          – Bex
                          Aug 14 at 11:45










                        • @Bex Nope, crows are smarter and cooler. They'll figure out where to go, how to get there, and what to avoid. Then they'll tell every other crow. They'll collectively relieve themselves on someone too if they start messing with the crows. Crows have been shown to gift humans trinkets before. I don't think it's a stretch to start an economic exchange with crows using spoons.
                          – Steve
                          Aug 14 at 14:47















                        up vote
                        2
                        down vote













                        Shine them up and trade them to crows in exchange for delivering your message.






                        share|improve this answer




















                        • Magpies, surely?
                          – Bex
                          Aug 14 at 11:45










                        • @Bex Nope, crows are smarter and cooler. They'll figure out where to go, how to get there, and what to avoid. Then they'll tell every other crow. They'll collectively relieve themselves on someone too if they start messing with the crows. Crows have been shown to gift humans trinkets before. I don't think it's a stretch to start an economic exchange with crows using spoons.
                          – Steve
                          Aug 14 at 14:47













                        up vote
                        2
                        down vote










                        up vote
                        2
                        down vote









                        Shine them up and trade them to crows in exchange for delivering your message.






                        share|improve this answer












                        Shine them up and trade them to crows in exchange for delivering your message.







                        share|improve this answer












                        share|improve this answer



                        share|improve this answer










                        answered Aug 13 at 21:18









                        Steve

                        89828




                        89828











                        • Magpies, surely?
                          – Bex
                          Aug 14 at 11:45










                        • @Bex Nope, crows are smarter and cooler. They'll figure out where to go, how to get there, and what to avoid. Then they'll tell every other crow. They'll collectively relieve themselves on someone too if they start messing with the crows. Crows have been shown to gift humans trinkets before. I don't think it's a stretch to start an economic exchange with crows using spoons.
                          – Steve
                          Aug 14 at 14:47

















                        • Magpies, surely?
                          – Bex
                          Aug 14 at 11:45










                        • @Bex Nope, crows are smarter and cooler. They'll figure out where to go, how to get there, and what to avoid. Then they'll tell every other crow. They'll collectively relieve themselves on someone too if they start messing with the crows. Crows have been shown to gift humans trinkets before. I don't think it's a stretch to start an economic exchange with crows using spoons.
                          – Steve
                          Aug 14 at 14:47
















                        Magpies, surely?
                        – Bex
                        Aug 14 at 11:45




                        Magpies, surely?
                        – Bex
                        Aug 14 at 11:45












                        @Bex Nope, crows are smarter and cooler. They'll figure out where to go, how to get there, and what to avoid. Then they'll tell every other crow. They'll collectively relieve themselves on someone too if they start messing with the crows. Crows have been shown to gift humans trinkets before. I don't think it's a stretch to start an economic exchange with crows using spoons.
                        – Steve
                        Aug 14 at 14:47





                        @Bex Nope, crows are smarter and cooler. They'll figure out where to go, how to get there, and what to avoid. Then they'll tell every other crow. They'll collectively relieve themselves on someone too if they start messing with the crows. Crows have been shown to gift humans trinkets before. I don't think it's a stretch to start an economic exchange with crows using spoons.
                        – Steve
                        Aug 14 at 14:47











                        up vote
                        1
                        down vote













                        In this answer, I assume you have metal spoons.

                        Melt the spoons together end to end and transmit an electrical signal down the long conductor, with earth ground as a reference point. It's relatively crude, subject to interference, and only useful for relatively short distances over preplanned routes. You might need error correction codes or a second line of spoons for a ground. Depending on technology and heat available, you could even melt the spoons down to wires to cover a longer distance.



                        While my initial thought was the mirror/sun reflection answer, this one works at night and on cloudy days and doesn't require adjustment for angle of the sun.






                        share|improve this answer




















                        • Wooden spoons were common in medieval times so I think it is safe to assume the pigeons were turned into wooden spoons. Do you have a solution with wooden spoons?
                          – Ole Tange
                          Aug 12 at 8:32














                        up vote
                        1
                        down vote













                        In this answer, I assume you have metal spoons.

                        Melt the spoons together end to end and transmit an electrical signal down the long conductor, with earth ground as a reference point. It's relatively crude, subject to interference, and only useful for relatively short distances over preplanned routes. You might need error correction codes or a second line of spoons for a ground. Depending on technology and heat available, you could even melt the spoons down to wires to cover a longer distance.



                        While my initial thought was the mirror/sun reflection answer, this one works at night and on cloudy days and doesn't require adjustment for angle of the sun.






                        share|improve this answer




















                        • Wooden spoons were common in medieval times so I think it is safe to assume the pigeons were turned into wooden spoons. Do you have a solution with wooden spoons?
                          – Ole Tange
                          Aug 12 at 8:32












                        up vote
                        1
                        down vote










                        up vote
                        1
                        down vote









                        In this answer, I assume you have metal spoons.

                        Melt the spoons together end to end and transmit an electrical signal down the long conductor, with earth ground as a reference point. It's relatively crude, subject to interference, and only useful for relatively short distances over preplanned routes. You might need error correction codes or a second line of spoons for a ground. Depending on technology and heat available, you could even melt the spoons down to wires to cover a longer distance.



                        While my initial thought was the mirror/sun reflection answer, this one works at night and on cloudy days and doesn't require adjustment for angle of the sun.






                        share|improve this answer












                        In this answer, I assume you have metal spoons.

                        Melt the spoons together end to end and transmit an electrical signal down the long conductor, with earth ground as a reference point. It's relatively crude, subject to interference, and only useful for relatively short distances over preplanned routes. You might need error correction codes or a second line of spoons for a ground. Depending on technology and heat available, you could even melt the spoons down to wires to cover a longer distance.



                        While my initial thought was the mirror/sun reflection answer, this one works at night and on cloudy days and doesn't require adjustment for angle of the sun.







                        share|improve this answer












                        share|improve this answer



                        share|improve this answer










                        answered Aug 10 at 16:41









                        WBT

                        7951714




                        7951714











                        • Wooden spoons were common in medieval times so I think it is safe to assume the pigeons were turned into wooden spoons. Do you have a solution with wooden spoons?
                          – Ole Tange
                          Aug 12 at 8:32
















                        • Wooden spoons were common in medieval times so I think it is safe to assume the pigeons were turned into wooden spoons. Do you have a solution with wooden spoons?
                          – Ole Tange
                          Aug 12 at 8:32















                        Wooden spoons were common in medieval times so I think it is safe to assume the pigeons were turned into wooden spoons. Do you have a solution with wooden spoons?
                        – Ole Tange
                        Aug 12 at 8:32




                        Wooden spoons were common in medieval times so I think it is safe to assume the pigeons were turned into wooden spoons. Do you have a solution with wooden spoons?
                        – Ole Tange
                        Aug 12 at 8:32










                        up vote
                        1
                        down vote













                        Melt and/or beat the spoons into rockets, with the message in a fireproof nose cone.



                        If your kingdom has strong magic, a little alchemy to create gunpowder or V2 fuel shouldn't be too advanced.






                        share|improve this answer
























                          up vote
                          1
                          down vote













                          Melt and/or beat the spoons into rockets, with the message in a fireproof nose cone.



                          If your kingdom has strong magic, a little alchemy to create gunpowder or V2 fuel shouldn't be too advanced.






                          share|improve this answer






















                            up vote
                            1
                            down vote










                            up vote
                            1
                            down vote









                            Melt and/or beat the spoons into rockets, with the message in a fireproof nose cone.



                            If your kingdom has strong magic, a little alchemy to create gunpowder or V2 fuel shouldn't be too advanced.






                            share|improve this answer












                            Melt and/or beat the spoons into rockets, with the message in a fireproof nose cone.



                            If your kingdom has strong magic, a little alchemy to create gunpowder or V2 fuel shouldn't be too advanced.







                            share|improve this answer












                            share|improve this answer



                            share|improve this answer










                            answered Aug 11 at 22:12









                            Cees Timmerman

                            17518




                            17518












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