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How can I appear more professional/serious at meetings? [closed]
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I do some sales meetings with usually IT people and facility directors in local schools, etc. I usually go with just my boss, who is a older man. The people we meet with tend to address him, though I will chime in and take over at any opportunity I have - I have been on quite a few of these meetings and am as assertive as I can politely be. My boss tends to get off topic and be repetitive and forget to mention some of our key sales points, and sometimes the conversation may wander without me being able to get these points in.
The problem may be any combination of my boss taking over my opportunities, or those that we meet with addressing him instead of me.
As a young woman, how can I appear more professional and assertive during a meeting?
meetings gender
closed as too broad by Jim G., gnat, Chris E, Dawny33, Rory Alsop Jun 28 '16 at 7:49
Please edit the question to limit it to a specific problem with enough detail to identify an adequate answer. Avoid asking multiple distinct questions at once. See the How to Ask page for help clarifying this question. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
0
down vote
favorite
I do some sales meetings with usually IT people and facility directors in local schools, etc. I usually go with just my boss, who is a older man. The people we meet with tend to address him, though I will chime in and take over at any opportunity I have - I have been on quite a few of these meetings and am as assertive as I can politely be. My boss tends to get off topic and be repetitive and forget to mention some of our key sales points, and sometimes the conversation may wander without me being able to get these points in.
The problem may be any combination of my boss taking over my opportunities, or those that we meet with addressing him instead of me.
As a young woman, how can I appear more professional and assertive during a meeting?
meetings gender
closed as too broad by Jim G., gnat, Chris E, Dawny33, Rory Alsop Jun 28 '16 at 7:49
Please edit the question to limit it to a specific problem with enough detail to identify an adequate answer. Avoid asking multiple distinct questions at once. See the How to Ask page for help clarifying this question. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.
2
Very similar: workplace.stackexchange.com/q/70232/325
– Monica Cellio♦
Jun 23 '16 at 3:07
Start off with a presentation to at least take control of start of the meeting.
– paparazzo
Jun 23 '16 at 12:51
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
0
down vote
favorite
up vote
0
down vote
favorite
I do some sales meetings with usually IT people and facility directors in local schools, etc. I usually go with just my boss, who is a older man. The people we meet with tend to address him, though I will chime in and take over at any opportunity I have - I have been on quite a few of these meetings and am as assertive as I can politely be. My boss tends to get off topic and be repetitive and forget to mention some of our key sales points, and sometimes the conversation may wander without me being able to get these points in.
The problem may be any combination of my boss taking over my opportunities, or those that we meet with addressing him instead of me.
As a young woman, how can I appear more professional and assertive during a meeting?
meetings gender
I do some sales meetings with usually IT people and facility directors in local schools, etc. I usually go with just my boss, who is a older man. The people we meet with tend to address him, though I will chime in and take over at any opportunity I have - I have been on quite a few of these meetings and am as assertive as I can politely be. My boss tends to get off topic and be repetitive and forget to mention some of our key sales points, and sometimes the conversation may wander without me being able to get these points in.
The problem may be any combination of my boss taking over my opportunities, or those that we meet with addressing him instead of me.
As a young woman, how can I appear more professional and assertive during a meeting?
meetings gender
asked Jun 23 '16 at 0:13
user48249
closed as too broad by Jim G., gnat, Chris E, Dawny33, Rory Alsop Jun 28 '16 at 7:49
Please edit the question to limit it to a specific problem with enough detail to identify an adequate answer. Avoid asking multiple distinct questions at once. See the How to Ask page for help clarifying this question. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.
closed as too broad by Jim G., gnat, Chris E, Dawny33, Rory Alsop Jun 28 '16 at 7:49
Please edit the question to limit it to a specific problem with enough detail to identify an adequate answer. Avoid asking multiple distinct questions at once. See the How to Ask page for help clarifying this question. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.
2
Very similar: workplace.stackexchange.com/q/70232/325
– Monica Cellio♦
Jun 23 '16 at 3:07
Start off with a presentation to at least take control of start of the meeting.
– paparazzo
Jun 23 '16 at 12:51
suggest improvements |Â
2
Very similar: workplace.stackexchange.com/q/70232/325
– Monica Cellio♦
Jun 23 '16 at 3:07
Start off with a presentation to at least take control of start of the meeting.
– paparazzo
Jun 23 '16 at 12:51
2
2
Very similar: workplace.stackexchange.com/q/70232/325
– Monica Cellio♦
Jun 23 '16 at 3:07
Very similar: workplace.stackexchange.com/q/70232/325
– Monica Cellio♦
Jun 23 '16 at 3:07
Start off with a presentation to at least take control of start of the meeting.
– paparazzo
Jun 23 '16 at 12:51
Start off with a presentation to at least take control of start of the meeting.
– paparazzo
Jun 23 '16 at 12:51
suggest improvements |Â
3 Answers
3
active
oldest
votes
up vote
7
down vote
I think you have two issues here. First, your boss isn't letting you do your job. Second, the folks you're pitching to may not recognize your skills / qualifications / authority / whatever.
I think the first feeds the second, and so it should be addressed first. Take the above question to your boss. If he's a good, experienced mentor, he should understand and help. You could spin it slightly and say something like, 'Hey, I'd really like to get as good as you at these sales meetings; what if I lead the pitch and you provide feedback after on how I can do better?' This will feed his ego, stroke his grey beard, and generally encourage him to want to help you. He may not even realize he's dominating.
The second one is easier if the first one goes down. If you're leading the pitch and providing the information and so on, it's easier to show your stuff. It also helps if you're talking the clients' language. I'm not making assumptions there, but as a tech person I can tell you "my people" will often dismiss anyone who doesn't immediately show Alpha Nerd in the room, and unfortunately there's often some gender bias there as well.
answered Jun 23 '16 at 1:58
Paul
1,460512
1
erm... yeah, I didn't even consider that to mean anything other than letting him know you acknowledge his experience. Sorry!
– Paul
Jun 24 '16 at 3:49
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
7
down vote
While I completely agree with @Paul's answer, you may also require a little adjustment in how you interact in these meetings.
As a small, quietly spoken woman in the technical side of IT where most of the time I'm the only woman in the room, I have learned that sometimes it's necessary to be slightly more assertive than is polite. One trick I use is rather than waiting for the speaker to leave a pause, nod and start speaking just as they finish and keep saying what you intended to say. If you pause that point, it can give a cue that you weren't comfortable with what you were going to say, and the more assertive participants will again take control of the discussion.
So simply put, you sometimes need to make a gap, rather than wait for it! You may find your boss is actually doing this if you listen closely :)
answered Jun 23 '16 at 2:22
Jane S♦
40.8k16125159
1
Good advice, I do feel like I've gotten to this point already though. I'm definitely normally shy though, and don't always have the courage to butt in, but I'm working on it!
– user48249
Jun 23 '16 at 4:12
1
Oh don't worry, I'm also really shy, and it took some practice to be able to do this. It comes down to having the confidence in yourself that you know what you are talking about, and that you are the best person to respond! :)
– Jane S♦
Jun 23 '16 at 4:15
1
Self-confidence is pretty much the cure.
– Kilisi
Jun 23 '16 at 7:14
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
2
down vote
I had similar issues when I first became a sales engineer (also working with schools). I was the baby-faced early 20s techy kid with the balding, assertive, sales guy.
You're already doing a lot of the right things. But the best thing to do is have a conversation after each meeting. How did it go? What worked? What didn't work? What do we want to work on next time? Those "off-topic, repetitive wanderings" may be completely intentional. Those sales points may have been intentionally skipped because he assessed the room and felt they were unnecessary. (When you've won the deal, stop selling)
I would oftentimes question the sales rep's direction during the meeting, and he would have a variety of rationale for it that I'd never thought of. That sparked opportunities for learning on my part. Often, I might have counterpoints or thoughts of missed opportunities/strategies that we could incorporate into future meetings.
If nothing else, it helped us understand each other. I could start to predict where he was going to take a meeting based on those conversations, and he could see where I was trying to redirect a conversation to when I would step in. You should be a team, and communication is key to a successful team.
answered Jun 23 '16 at 21:53
Chris G
10.8k22549
suggest improvements |Â
3 Answers
3
active
oldest
votes
3 Answers
3
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
up vote
7
down vote
I think you have two issues here. First, your boss isn't letting you do your job. Second, the folks you're pitching to may not recognize your skills / qualifications / authority / whatever.
I think the first feeds the second, and so it should be addressed first. Take the above question to your boss. If he's a good, experienced mentor, he should understand and help. You could spin it slightly and say something like, 'Hey, I'd really like to get as good as you at these sales meetings; what if I lead the pitch and you provide feedback after on how I can do better?' This will feed his ego, stroke his grey beard, and generally encourage him to want to help you. He may not even realize he's dominating.
The second one is easier if the first one goes down. If you're leading the pitch and providing the information and so on, it's easier to show your stuff. It also helps if you're talking the clients' language. I'm not making assumptions there, but as a tech person I can tell you "my people" will often dismiss anyone who doesn't immediately show Alpha Nerd in the room, and unfortunately there's often some gender bias there as well.
answered Jun 23 '16 at 1:58
Paul
1,460512
1
erm... yeah, I didn't even consider that to mean anything other than letting him know you acknowledge his experience. Sorry!
– Paul
Jun 24 '16 at 3:49
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
7
down vote
I think you have two issues here. First, your boss isn't letting you do your job. Second, the folks you're pitching to may not recognize your skills / qualifications / authority / whatever.
I think the first feeds the second, and so it should be addressed first. Take the above question to your boss. If he's a good, experienced mentor, he should understand and help. You could spin it slightly and say something like, 'Hey, I'd really like to get as good as you at these sales meetings; what if I lead the pitch and you provide feedback after on how I can do better?' This will feed his ego, stroke his grey beard, and generally encourage him to want to help you. He may not even realize he's dominating.
The second one is easier if the first one goes down. If you're leading the pitch and providing the information and so on, it's easier to show your stuff. It also helps if you're talking the clients' language. I'm not making assumptions there, but as a tech person I can tell you "my people" will often dismiss anyone who doesn't immediately show Alpha Nerd in the room, and unfortunately there's often some gender bias there as well.
answered Jun 23 '16 at 1:58
Paul
1,460512
1
erm... yeah, I didn't even consider that to mean anything other than letting him know you acknowledge his experience. Sorry!
– Paul
Jun 24 '16 at 3:49
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
7
down vote
up vote
7
down vote
I think you have two issues here. First, your boss isn't letting you do your job. Second, the folks you're pitching to may not recognize your skills / qualifications / authority / whatever.
I think the first feeds the second, and so it should be addressed first. Take the above question to your boss. If he's a good, experienced mentor, he should understand and help. You could spin it slightly and say something like, 'Hey, I'd really like to get as good as you at these sales meetings; what if I lead the pitch and you provide feedback after on how I can do better?' This will feed his ego, stroke his grey beard, and generally encourage him to want to help you. He may not even realize he's dominating.
The second one is easier if the first one goes down. If you're leading the pitch and providing the information and so on, it's easier to show your stuff. It also helps if you're talking the clients' language. I'm not making assumptions there, but as a tech person I can tell you "my people" will often dismiss anyone who doesn't immediately show Alpha Nerd in the room, and unfortunately there's often some gender bias there as well.
answered Jun 23 '16 at 1:58
Paul
1,460512
I think you have two issues here. First, your boss isn't letting you do your job. Second, the folks you're pitching to may not recognize your skills / qualifications / authority / whatever.
I think the first feeds the second, and so it should be addressed first. Take the above question to your boss. If he's a good, experienced mentor, he should understand and help. You could spin it slightly and say something like, 'Hey, I'd really like to get as good as you at these sales meetings; what if I lead the pitch and you provide feedback after on how I can do better?' This will feed his ego, stroke his grey beard, and generally encourage him to want to help you. He may not even realize he's dominating.
The second one is easier if the first one goes down. If you're leading the pitch and providing the information and so on, it's easier to show your stuff. It also helps if you're talking the clients' language. I'm not making assumptions there, but as a tech person I can tell you "my people" will often dismiss anyone who doesn't immediately show Alpha Nerd in the room, and unfortunately there's often some gender bias there as well.
answered Jun 23 '16 at 1:58
Paul
1,460512
answered Jun 23 '16 at 1:58
Paul
1,460512
answered Jun 23 '16 at 1:58
Paul
1,460512
answered Jun 23 '16 at 1:58
Paul
1,460512
1,460512
1
erm... yeah, I didn't even consider that to mean anything other than letting him know you acknowledge his experience. Sorry!
– Paul
Jun 24 '16 at 3:49
suggest improvements |Â
1
erm... yeah, I didn't even consider that to mean anything other than letting him know you acknowledge his experience. Sorry!
– Paul
Jun 24 '16 at 3:49
1
1
erm... yeah, I didn't even consider that to mean anything other than letting him know you acknowledge his experience. Sorry!
– Paul
Jun 24 '16 at 3:49
erm... yeah, I didn't even consider that to mean anything other than letting him know you acknowledge his experience. Sorry!
– Paul
Jun 24 '16 at 3:49
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
7
down vote
While I completely agree with @Paul's answer, you may also require a little adjustment in how you interact in these meetings.
As a small, quietly spoken woman in the technical side of IT where most of the time I'm the only woman in the room, I have learned that sometimes it's necessary to be slightly more assertive than is polite. One trick I use is rather than waiting for the speaker to leave a pause, nod and start speaking just as they finish and keep saying what you intended to say. If you pause that point, it can give a cue that you weren't comfortable with what you were going to say, and the more assertive participants will again take control of the discussion.
So simply put, you sometimes need to make a gap, rather than wait for it! You may find your boss is actually doing this if you listen closely :)
answered Jun 23 '16 at 2:22
Jane S♦
40.8k16125159
1
Good advice, I do feel like I've gotten to this point already though. I'm definitely normally shy though, and don't always have the courage to butt in, but I'm working on it!
– user48249
Jun 23 '16 at 4:12
1
Oh don't worry, I'm also really shy, and it took some practice to be able to do this. It comes down to having the confidence in yourself that you know what you are talking about, and that you are the best person to respond! :)
– Jane S♦
Jun 23 '16 at 4:15
1
Self-confidence is pretty much the cure.
– Kilisi
Jun 23 '16 at 7:14
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
7
down vote
While I completely agree with @Paul's answer, you may also require a little adjustment in how you interact in these meetings.
As a small, quietly spoken woman in the technical side of IT where most of the time I'm the only woman in the room, I have learned that sometimes it's necessary to be slightly more assertive than is polite. One trick I use is rather than waiting for the speaker to leave a pause, nod and start speaking just as they finish and keep saying what you intended to say. If you pause that point, it can give a cue that you weren't comfortable with what you were going to say, and the more assertive participants will again take control of the discussion.
So simply put, you sometimes need to make a gap, rather than wait for it! You may find your boss is actually doing this if you listen closely :)
answered Jun 23 '16 at 2:22
Jane S♦
40.8k16125159
1
Good advice, I do feel like I've gotten to this point already though. I'm definitely normally shy though, and don't always have the courage to butt in, but I'm working on it!
– user48249
Jun 23 '16 at 4:12
1
Oh don't worry, I'm also really shy, and it took some practice to be able to do this. It comes down to having the confidence in yourself that you know what you are talking about, and that you are the best person to respond! :)
– Jane S♦
Jun 23 '16 at 4:15
1
Self-confidence is pretty much the cure.
– Kilisi
Jun 23 '16 at 7:14
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
7
down vote
up vote
7
down vote
While I completely agree with @Paul's answer, you may also require a little adjustment in how you interact in these meetings.
As a small, quietly spoken woman in the technical side of IT where most of the time I'm the only woman in the room, I have learned that sometimes it's necessary to be slightly more assertive than is polite. One trick I use is rather than waiting for the speaker to leave a pause, nod and start speaking just as they finish and keep saying what you intended to say. If you pause that point, it can give a cue that you weren't comfortable with what you were going to say, and the more assertive participants will again take control of the discussion.
So simply put, you sometimes need to make a gap, rather than wait for it! You may find your boss is actually doing this if you listen closely :)
answered Jun 23 '16 at 2:22
Jane S♦
40.8k16125159
While I completely agree with @Paul's answer, you may also require a little adjustment in how you interact in these meetings.
As a small, quietly spoken woman in the technical side of IT where most of the time I'm the only woman in the room, I have learned that sometimes it's necessary to be slightly more assertive than is polite. One trick I use is rather than waiting for the speaker to leave a pause, nod and start speaking just as they finish and keep saying what you intended to say. If you pause that point, it can give a cue that you weren't comfortable with what you were going to say, and the more assertive participants will again take control of the discussion.
So simply put, you sometimes need to make a gap, rather than wait for it! You may find your boss is actually doing this if you listen closely :)
answered Jun 23 '16 at 2:22
Jane S♦
40.8k16125159
edited Jun 23 '16 at 3:25
answered Jun 23 '16 at 2:22
Jane S♦
40.8k16125159
answered Jun 23 '16 at 2:22
Jane S♦
40.8k16125159
answered Jun 23 '16 at 2:22
Jane S♦
40.8k16125159
40.8k16125159
1
Good advice, I do feel like I've gotten to this point already though. I'm definitely normally shy though, and don't always have the courage to butt in, but I'm working on it!
– user48249
Jun 23 '16 at 4:12
1
Oh don't worry, I'm also really shy, and it took some practice to be able to do this. It comes down to having the confidence in yourself that you know what you are talking about, and that you are the best person to respond! :)
– Jane S♦
Jun 23 '16 at 4:15
1
Self-confidence is pretty much the cure.
– Kilisi
Jun 23 '16 at 7:14
suggest improvements |Â
1
Good advice, I do feel like I've gotten to this point already though. I'm definitely normally shy though, and don't always have the courage to butt in, but I'm working on it!
– user48249
Jun 23 '16 at 4:12
1
Oh don't worry, I'm also really shy, and it took some practice to be able to do this. It comes down to having the confidence in yourself that you know what you are talking about, and that you are the best person to respond! :)
– Jane S♦
Jun 23 '16 at 4:15
1
Self-confidence is pretty much the cure.
– Kilisi
Jun 23 '16 at 7:14
1
1
Good advice, I do feel like I've gotten to this point already though. I'm definitely normally shy though, and don't always have the courage to butt in, but I'm working on it!
– user48249
Jun 23 '16 at 4:12
Good advice, I do feel like I've gotten to this point already though. I'm definitely normally shy though, and don't always have the courage to butt in, but I'm working on it!
– user48249
Jun 23 '16 at 4:12
1
1
Oh don't worry, I'm also really shy, and it took some practice to be able to do this. It comes down to having the confidence in yourself that you know what you are talking about, and that you are the best person to respond! :)
– Jane S♦
Jun 23 '16 at 4:15
Oh don't worry, I'm also really shy, and it took some practice to be able to do this. It comes down to having the confidence in yourself that you know what you are talking about, and that you are the best person to respond! :)
– Jane S♦
Jun 23 '16 at 4:15
1
1
Self-confidence is pretty much the cure.
– Kilisi
Jun 23 '16 at 7:14
Self-confidence is pretty much the cure.
– Kilisi
Jun 23 '16 at 7:14
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
2
down vote
I had similar issues when I first became a sales engineer (also working with schools). I was the baby-faced early 20s techy kid with the balding, assertive, sales guy.
You're already doing a lot of the right things. But the best thing to do is have a conversation after each meeting. How did it go? What worked? What didn't work? What do we want to work on next time? Those "off-topic, repetitive wanderings" may be completely intentional. Those sales points may have been intentionally skipped because he assessed the room and felt they were unnecessary. (When you've won the deal, stop selling)
I would oftentimes question the sales rep's direction during the meeting, and he would have a variety of rationale for it that I'd never thought of. That sparked opportunities for learning on my part. Often, I might have counterpoints or thoughts of missed opportunities/strategies that we could incorporate into future meetings.
If nothing else, it helped us understand each other. I could start to predict where he was going to take a meeting based on those conversations, and he could see where I was trying to redirect a conversation to when I would step in. You should be a team, and communication is key to a successful team.
answered Jun 23 '16 at 21:53
Chris G
10.8k22549
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
2
down vote
I had similar issues when I first became a sales engineer (also working with schools). I was the baby-faced early 20s techy kid with the balding, assertive, sales guy.
You're already doing a lot of the right things. But the best thing to do is have a conversation after each meeting. How did it go? What worked? What didn't work? What do we want to work on next time? Those "off-topic, repetitive wanderings" may be completely intentional. Those sales points may have been intentionally skipped because he assessed the room and felt they were unnecessary. (When you've won the deal, stop selling)
I would oftentimes question the sales rep's direction during the meeting, and he would have a variety of rationale for it that I'd never thought of. That sparked opportunities for learning on my part. Often, I might have counterpoints or thoughts of missed opportunities/strategies that we could incorporate into future meetings.
If nothing else, it helped us understand each other. I could start to predict where he was going to take a meeting based on those conversations, and he could see where I was trying to redirect a conversation to when I would step in. You should be a team, and communication is key to a successful team.
answered Jun 23 '16 at 21:53
Chris G
10.8k22549
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
2
down vote
up vote
2
down vote
I had similar issues when I first became a sales engineer (also working with schools). I was the baby-faced early 20s techy kid with the balding, assertive, sales guy.
You're already doing a lot of the right things. But the best thing to do is have a conversation after each meeting. How did it go? What worked? What didn't work? What do we want to work on next time? Those "off-topic, repetitive wanderings" may be completely intentional. Those sales points may have been intentionally skipped because he assessed the room and felt they were unnecessary. (When you've won the deal, stop selling)
I would oftentimes question the sales rep's direction during the meeting, and he would have a variety of rationale for it that I'd never thought of. That sparked opportunities for learning on my part. Often, I might have counterpoints or thoughts of missed opportunities/strategies that we could incorporate into future meetings.
If nothing else, it helped us understand each other. I could start to predict where he was going to take a meeting based on those conversations, and he could see where I was trying to redirect a conversation to when I would step in. You should be a team, and communication is key to a successful team.
answered Jun 23 '16 at 21:53
Chris G
10.8k22549
I had similar issues when I first became a sales engineer (also working with schools). I was the baby-faced early 20s techy kid with the balding, assertive, sales guy.
You're already doing a lot of the right things. But the best thing to do is have a conversation after each meeting. How did it go? What worked? What didn't work? What do we want to work on next time? Those "off-topic, repetitive wanderings" may be completely intentional. Those sales points may have been intentionally skipped because he assessed the room and felt they were unnecessary. (When you've won the deal, stop selling)
I would oftentimes question the sales rep's direction during the meeting, and he would have a variety of rationale for it that I'd never thought of. That sparked opportunities for learning on my part. Often, I might have counterpoints or thoughts of missed opportunities/strategies that we could incorporate into future meetings.
If nothing else, it helped us understand each other. I could start to predict where he was going to take a meeting based on those conversations, and he could see where I was trying to redirect a conversation to when I would step in. You should be a team, and communication is key to a successful team.
answered Jun 23 '16 at 21:53
Chris G
10.8k22549
answered Jun 23 '16 at 21:53
Chris G
10.8k22549
answered Jun 23 '16 at 21:53
Chris G
10.8k22549
answered Jun 23 '16 at 21:53
Chris G
10.8k22549
10.8k22549
suggest improvements |Â
suggest improvements |Â
2
Very similar: workplace.stackexchange.com/q/70232/325
– Monica Cellio♦
Jun 23 '16 at 3:07
Start off with a presentation to at least take control of start of the meeting.
– paparazzo
Jun 23 '16 at 12:51