Iyfjky

Question

For whatever roleplaying reason, I've decided that my Male Human Wizard is gay. After an exhausting week of dungeon crawling, he's heading down to the nearest medium to large-sized city for some R&R with a pocket full of hard-earned gp and would love to try to pick up a date.

How common is homosexuality in the default 5e setting? Yes, I know the practical, in-game answer is to ask my DM, but maybe he doesn't have much information either. Is this covered anywhere? Can a typical resident, or even adventurer, just expect to ask around for directions to nearby gay bars or hangouts and have a decent chance of getting help, or is this something that would be significantly difficult and/or dangerous to try? For comparison, in our world, this would probably not be an issue at all at a bookstore in Boston. Riyadh, not so much.

Is homosexuality common and practiced openly?

Is it common, but hidden, such that successfully making the appropriate contacts, knowing the right signs or lingo or whatever might require a lore check or an underworld contact?

Is homosexuality rare or vanishingly rare, such that most people would be shocked to even consider such a thing?

Are there specific backgrounds or places where this is more common? (e.g. followers of a certain god, members of specific races, etc.?)

If this is covered better in previous game editions, I'm open to them as long as they don't blatantly contradict 5e.

Which published adventures do you have? Also, is lore from previous editions within scope, or would you rather only 5e-current sources or context be considered? While I'm not a mod, I'll answer Robert's question about what is wrong with this question: nothing. I appeal to users / the community to remember our Be Nice guidance. — 2 hours ago
@RobertColumbia I strongly suspect its people who don't like the subject matter. I wouldn't worry about it - its an interesting question — 2 hours ago
@HeyICanChan, I wasn't aware that homosexual was offensive in the community. If so, motion to edit title to "How gay is the Forgotten Realms?" — 45 mins ago

score 11 · Answer 1 · 2018-10-18 18:32:26Z

What the Player's Handbook says

In Chapter 4, "Personality and Background", the Subsection "Character Details" has a header titled "Sex" that makes the following remarks (emphasis mine):

Sex

You can play a male or female character without gaining any special benefits or hindrances. Think about how your character does or does not conform to the broader culture's expectations of sex, gender, and sexual behavior. For example, a male drow cleric defies the traditional gender divisions of drow society, which could be a reason for your character to leave society and come to the surface.

You don't need to be confined to binary notions of sex and gender. The elf god Corellon Larethian is often seen as androgynous or hermaphroditic, for example, and some elves in the multiverse are made in Corellon's image. You could also play a female character who presents herself as a man, a man who feels trapped in a female body, or a bearded female dwarf who hates being mistaken for a male. Likewise, your character's sexual orientation is for you to decide.

So it's fair to say that, at least by default, non-heteronormative gender expressions and sexualities are the normal in Forgotten Realms Lore, at least as established in 5th edition. Some races/cultures are canonically established as having looser, more progressive attitudes towards Gender and Sex, with Elves as a notable example, though Drow are also singled out as possibly having more repressive attitudes towards gender and sex. Other races and cultures are generally left unspecified in this regardÃ¢Â€Â”I'm not personally aware of any race or culture in 5e that explicitly is more conservative/oppressive in this specific regard, but I haven't exhausted every last detail of every worldbuilding guide provided by 5e sourcebooks.

Ultimately, this comes down to your DM, who gets to make these kinds of worldbuilding decisions, especially with respect to the degree to which your setting is accepting or tolerant of non-heteronormative representations. The degree to which your DM can dictate your own character's preferences, attitudes, and/or identification is limited (and I would probably avoid a DM that tried to make demands on this aspect of character building) but it can inform upon your character's expression nonetheless.

With respect to your more specific questions:

Is homosexuality common and practiced openly? Is it common, but hidden, such that successfully making the appropriate contacts or whatever might require a lore check or an underworld contact? Is homosexuality rare or vanishingly rare, such that most people would be shocked to even consider such a thing?

This is up to your DM, but 5e establishes that the answer can be assumed, short of conflicting evidence provided by your campaign, to be yes, homosexuality is generally regarded as accepted, and no, you wouldn't have to go underground/off the radar to find support.

^{Sidebar: I don't want to downplay the agency the DM has in making these kinds of worldbuilding decisions, but just as a matter of practical guidance: as a DM, if you're unsure whether to make Faerun a "Progressive" or "Conservative" society by default, you should prefer "Progressive". There's a lot of reasons for this, which I think might be off-topic to get into here, but the short version is that you don't always know everything about the players you're playing with, even if you've known them a long time, and creating a setting that replicates the discrimination/prejudices they may be facing in their own lives may end up being harmful to them. If you are going to make a society that's more hostile towards non-heteronormative sexualities/identities, you should ensure all your players are supportive of that decision, and you definitely should not go ahead with that decision if you get any pushback on that decision.}

Are there specific backgrounds or places where this is more common? (e.g. followers of a certain god, members of specific races, etc.?)

Like mentioned in the PHB, Elves are one such example. Some Elves, as established in Volo's Guide to Monsters, are even established as being able to alter their physical sex at will (mechanically, once per day, when they wake up) by virtue of having been blessed by Corellon.

Your DM also has the freedom to make additional examples or stipulations to these practices.

Yes, I had a feeling that elves might be more open to this, but couldn't recall a specific example. That helps a lot! — 2 hours ago

score 9 · Answer 2 · 2018-10-18 18:55:00Z

It certainly exists in the Realms, but the sources don't give a reliable sense of how commonplace it is.

In a quote in this article, Forgotten Realms creator Ed Greenwood says that there are gay characters in FaerÃ»n:

Folks, the Realms have ALWAYS had characters (mortals and deities) who crossdressed, changed gender (and not just to sneak past guards in an adventure, by way of shapeshifting magic or illusions), were actively bisexual, and openly gay. How underscored this was by TSR and later Wizards varied over time, and was always softpedaled, because D&D wasnÃ¢Â€Â™t a sex game, and we generally donÃ¢Â€Â™t rub the readerÃ¢Â€Â™s nose in sex unless thereÃ¢Â€Â™s a good in-story reason for it.

In other words, the number of gay people who exist in the setting is hard to determine from the existing sources. A character who might be gay goes unnoticed because the stories often don't explore their relationships. Another Greenwood quote confirms this:

I have included several gay characters of both genders in past Realms books, but not advertised their natures because it just wasnÃ¢Â€Â™t part of the story (not surprising, given the formal codes TSR and Wizards use, and the sort of stories weÃ¢Â€Â™re telling).

From the few sources, we find that acceptance of homosexuality in the Realms varies between cultures, and perhaps by status.

According to the 2015 novel Ashes of the Tyrant, the dragonborn warriors Arjhani and Mehen of Clan Verthisathurgiesh in Tymanther were in a gay relationship, and Mehen was exiled for it. It appears that in at least one culture, homosexuality exists but is taboo or forbidden.

D&D 3e's Forgotten Realms Campaign Setting (p.143) implies that the female human rulers of the city of Elversult are a gay couple, suggesting that it is not taboo in that culture, (although it's possible that their high status affords them acceptance uncommon to others):

Centuries of smuggling and intrigue cannot be undone in a decade, but those seeking dishonest deals now think twice before taking their business to Yanseldara's city, particularly since she leaves law enforcement to her consort and adventuring companion, Vaerana Hawklyn (CG female human Rgr20 of Mielikki).

D&D 3e's Faiths & Pantheons, p. 100, describes the goddess Lliira having a relationship with a female mortal:

The murder of Selgaunt's High Revelmistress Chlanna Asjros (whom Lliira had taken as a lover while in mortal form during the Time of Troubles) by forces of a local cult of Loviatar has deeply affected the Joybringer.

In the novel Spellfire, it is suggested that gay men are considered of lower status in parts of the Realms, although this confirms that the concept of homosexuality is at least generally known:

"Narm, Shandrilâ€” I make known to thee Lhaeo, my scribe and cartographer. Outside these walls he's counted as a lisping man-lover from Baldur's Gate. He's not, but that's his tale."

In summary, much like the real world, homosexuality canonically exists in the Forgotten Realms, but acceptance of it varies by time and place. Many books set in the Forgotten Realms were limited by the social standards of their day, and depictions of gay relationships were often intentionally vague in their wording (e.g. "consort") or their depictions were influenced by attitudes of the time.

"In summary, much like the real world," is, I think, a sentence fragment that can be used a lot with Wizards and even TSR. People may be swinging swords and throwing spells, but the social issues, particularly on gender and sexuality, reflect the current thinking rather closely. Civilizations that are more or less accepting than your average American/Western society seem to be the exception, not the rule. — 1 hour ago
@Quadratic Wizard -- The current release, "Waterdeep: Dragon Heist" has at least one main NPC that is openly gay. I've read it myself as I was glancing through the product to see about purchasing it, else I would've put in my own answer. If you own it I believe I was browsing the appendix that covers the main characters the PCs are expected to interact with. — 18 mins ago

TimothyAWiseman 16.3k23081 · Answer 3 · 2018-10-18 17:42:37Z

It will vary by region and race/species

The first thing to note is that if you accept some of the novels then homosexual characters definitely exist. The War of the Spider Queen series of novels avoids ever being explicit but heavily implies that homosexual liaisons between males is at least somewhat common in the academies of Menzoberranzen and very heavily implies at least one homosexual female liaison during the events of the stories. It suggests that such things are relatively common and accepted in Menzoberranzen.

However, as noted, those deal mostly with the Drow of Menzoberranzen. The Forgotten Realms are huge with numerous distinct species and cultures on the "main" continent of Faerun alone. Each of these cultures and even sub-cultures is likely to have their own views on homosexuality, courtship, and every other related topic.

The practical answer for your character is that it depends on where he is.

score 11 · Answer 4 · 2018-10-18 18:32:26Z

What the Player's Handbook says

In Chapter 4, "Personality and Background", the Subsection "Character Details" has a header titled "Sex" that makes the following remarks (emphasis mine):

Sex

You can play a male or female character without gaining any special benefits or hindrances. Think about how your character does or does not conform to the broader culture's expectations of sex, gender, and sexual behavior. For example, a male drow cleric defies the traditional gender divisions of drow society, which could be a reason for your character to leave society and come to the surface.

You don't need to be confined to binary notions of sex and gender. The elf god Corellon Larethian is often seen as androgynous or hermaphroditic, for example, and some elves in the multiverse are made in Corellon's image. You could also play a female character who presents herself as a man, a man who feels trapped in a female body, or a bearded female dwarf who hates being mistaken for a male. Likewise, your character's sexual orientation is for you to decide.

So it's fair to say that, at least by default, non-heteronormative gender expressions and sexualities are the normal in Forgotten Realms Lore, at least as established in 5th edition. Some races/cultures are canonically established as having looser, more progressive attitudes towards Gender and Sex, with Elves as a notable example, though Drow are also singled out as possibly having more repressive attitudes towards gender and sex. Other races and cultures are generally left unspecified in this regardÃ¢Â€Â”I'm not personally aware of any race or culture in 5e that explicitly is more conservative/oppressive in this specific regard, but I haven't exhausted every last detail of every worldbuilding guide provided by 5e sourcebooks.

Ultimately, this comes down to your DM, who gets to make these kinds of worldbuilding decisions, especially with respect to the degree to which your setting is accepting or tolerant of non-heteronormative representations. The degree to which your DM can dictate your own character's preferences, attitudes, and/or identification is limited (and I would probably avoid a DM that tried to make demands on this aspect of character building) but it can inform upon your character's expression nonetheless.

With respect to your more specific questions:

Is homosexuality common and practiced openly? Is it common, but hidden, such that successfully making the appropriate contacts or whatever might require a lore check or an underworld contact? Is homosexuality rare or vanishingly rare, such that most people would be shocked to even consider such a thing?

This is up to your DM, but 5e establishes that the answer can be assumed, short of conflicting evidence provided by your campaign, to be yes, homosexuality is generally regarded as accepted, and no, you wouldn't have to go underground/off the radar to find support.

^{Sidebar: I don't want to downplay the agency the DM has in making these kinds of worldbuilding decisions, but just as a matter of practical guidance: as a DM, if you're unsure whether to make Faerun a "Progressive" or "Conservative" society by default, you should prefer "Progressive". There's a lot of reasons for this, which I think might be off-topic to get into here, but the short version is that you don't always know everything about the players you're playing with, even if you've known them a long time, and creating a setting that replicates the discrimination/prejudices they may be facing in their own lives may end up being harmful to them. If you are going to make a society that's more hostile towards non-heteronormative sexualities/identities, you should ensure all your players are supportive of that decision, and you definitely should not go ahead with that decision if you get any pushback on that decision.}

Are there specific backgrounds or places where this is more common? (e.g. followers of a certain god, members of specific races, etc.?)

Like mentioned in the PHB, Elves are one such example. Some Elves, as established in Volo's Guide to Monsters, are even established as being able to alter their physical sex at will (mechanically, once per day, when they wake up) by virtue of having been blessed by Corellon.

Your DM also has the freedom to make additional examples or stipulations to these practices.

Yes, I had a feeling that elves might be more open to this, but couldn't recall a specific example. That helps a lot! — 2 hours ago

score 9 · Answer 5 · 2018-10-18 18:55:00Z

It certainly exists in the Realms, but the sources don't give a reliable sense of how commonplace it is.

In a quote in this article, Forgotten Realms creator Ed Greenwood says that there are gay characters in FaerÃ»n:

Folks, the Realms have ALWAYS had characters (mortals and deities) who crossdressed, changed gender (and not just to sneak past guards in an adventure, by way of shapeshifting magic or illusions), were actively bisexual, and openly gay. How underscored this was by TSR and later Wizards varied over time, and was always softpedaled, because D&D wasnÃ¢Â€Â™t a sex game, and we generally donÃ¢Â€Â™t rub the readerÃ¢Â€Â™s nose in sex unless thereÃ¢Â€Â™s a good in-story reason for it.

In other words, the number of gay people who exist in the setting is hard to determine from the existing sources. A character who might be gay goes unnoticed because the stories often don't explore their relationships. Another Greenwood quote confirms this:

I have included several gay characters of both genders in past Realms books, but not advertised their natures because it just wasnÃ¢Â€Â™t part of the story (not surprising, given the formal codes TSR and Wizards use, and the sort of stories weÃ¢Â€Â™re telling).

From the few sources, we find that acceptance of homosexuality in the Realms varies between cultures, and perhaps by status.

According to the 2015 novel Ashes of the Tyrant, the dragonborn warriors Arjhani and Mehen of Clan Verthisathurgiesh in Tymanther were in a gay relationship, and Mehen was exiled for it. It appears that in at least one culture, homosexuality exists but is taboo or forbidden.

D&D 3e's Forgotten Realms Campaign Setting (p.143) implies that the female human rulers of the city of Elversult are a gay couple, suggesting that it is not taboo in that culture, (although it's possible that their high status affords them acceptance uncommon to others):

Centuries of smuggling and intrigue cannot be undone in a decade, but those seeking dishonest deals now think twice before taking their business to Yanseldara's city, particularly since she leaves law enforcement to her consort and adventuring companion, Vaerana Hawklyn (CG female human Rgr20 of Mielikki).

D&D 3e's Faiths & Pantheons, p. 100, describes the goddess Lliira having a relationship with a female mortal:

The murder of Selgaunt's High Revelmistress Chlanna Asjros (whom Lliira had taken as a lover while in mortal form during the Time of Troubles) by forces of a local cult of Loviatar has deeply affected the Joybringer.

In the novel Spellfire, it is suggested that gay men are considered of lower status in parts of the Realms, although this confirms that the concept of homosexuality is at least generally known:

"Narm, Shandrilâ€” I make known to thee Lhaeo, my scribe and cartographer. Outside these walls he's counted as a lisping man-lover from Baldur's Gate. He's not, but that's his tale."

In summary, much like the real world, homosexuality canonically exists in the Forgotten Realms, but acceptance of it varies by time and place. Many books set in the Forgotten Realms were limited by the social standards of their day, and depictions of gay relationships were often intentionally vague in their wording (e.g. "consort") or their depictions were influenced by attitudes of the time.

"In summary, much like the real world," is, I think, a sentence fragment that can be used a lot with Wizards and even TSR. People may be swinging swords and throwing spells, but the social issues, particularly on gender and sexuality, reflect the current thinking rather closely. Civilizations that are more or less accepting than your average American/Western society seem to be the exception, not the rule. — 1 hour ago
@Quadratic Wizard -- The current release, "Waterdeep: Dragon Heist" has at least one main NPC that is openly gay. I've read it myself as I was glancing through the product to see about purchasing it, else I would've put in my own answer. If you own it I believe I was browsing the appendix that covers the main characters the PCs are expected to interact with. — 18 mins ago

TimothyAWiseman 16.3k23081 · Answer 6 · 2018-10-18 17:42:37Z

It will vary by region and race/species

The first thing to note is that if you accept some of the novels then homosexual characters definitely exist. The War of the Spider Queen series of novels avoids ever being explicit but heavily implies that homosexual liaisons between males is at least somewhat common in the academies of Menzoberranzen and very heavily implies at least one homosexual female liaison during the events of the stories. It suggests that such things are relatively common and accepted in Menzoberranzen.

However, as noted, those deal mostly with the Drow of Menzoberranzen. The Forgotten Realms are huge with numerous distinct species and cultures on the "main" continent of Faerun alone. Each of these cultures and even sub-cultures is likely to have their own views on homosexuality, courtship, and every other related topic.

The practical answer for your character is that it depends on where he is.

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How common are LGBTQ Identities in the Forgotten Realms?

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What the Player's Handbook says

Sex

It certainly exists in the Realms, but the sources don't give a reliable sense of how commonplace it is.

It will vary by region and race/species

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What the Player's Handbook says

Sex

What the Player's Handbook says

Sex

What the Player's Handbook says

Sex

What the Player's Handbook says

Sex

It certainly exists in the Realms, but the sources don't give a reliable sense of how commonplace it is.

It certainly exists in the Realms, but the sources don't give a reliable sense of how commonplace it is.

It certainly exists in the Realms, but the sources don't give a reliable sense of how commonplace it is.

It certainly exists in the Realms, but the sources don't give a reliable sense of how commonplace it is.

It will vary by region and race/species

It will vary by region and race/species

It will vary by region and race/species

It will vary by region and race/species

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How common are LGBTQ Identities in the Forgotten Realms?

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What the Player's Handbook says

Sex

It certainly exists in the Realms, but the sources don't give a reliable sense of how commonplace it is.

It will vary by region and race/species

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What the Player's Handbook says

Sex

What the Player's Handbook says

Sex

What the Player's Handbook says

Sex

What the Player's Handbook says

Sex

It certainly exists in the Realms, but the sources don't give a reliable sense of how commonplace it is.

It certainly exists in the Realms, but the sources don't give a reliable sense of how commonplace it is.

It certainly exists in the Realms, but the sources don't give a reliable sense of how commonplace it is.

It certainly exists in the Realms, but the sources don't give a reliable sense of how commonplace it is.

It will vary by region and race/species

It will vary by region and race/species

It will vary by region and race/species

It will vary by region and race/species

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Long meetings (6-7 hours a day): Being â€œbabysatâ€ by supervisor

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Long meetings (6-7 hours a day): Being â€œbabysatâ€ by supervisor