Mixing
![Should I contact the recruiter or should I wait? [duplicate]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjbpfN9tAutmK93bJRC3ZoROZzi2TJDms5n8_qJuhgE0a9b52OOHayv3NGT8igAdFL7byXNst-_1DZK5SjrIJ28_6RQPUpBROqMs5s6jo-ZsjX8kjDwfxJufIitH3TaQRXWaGSQKRQib-f/s72-c/1.jpg)
How can I address professional complaints from my partner about my direct reports? [closed]
Clash Royale CLAN TAG#URR8PPP
.everyoneloves__top-leaderboard:empty,.everyoneloves__mid-leaderboard:empty margin-bottom:0;
up vote
20
down vote
favorite
My partner and I work for the same IT company, we're in different teams but she often comes to people in the team I manage when she needs help.
There are some people in my team who are dropping the ball with answers. I know this and am working on addressing it longer term. She doesn't like useless answers (one of the reasons why I love her) and quite rightly when she's given one she raises it with their manager... me.
This makes things very difficult for me, if any other member of the business reported problems with one of my team members I'd professionally point out that they're not being very supportive. However as it's my wife I think there's a danger I'd be seen as playing favorites or taking her side.
How can I ensure she (and everyone) gets the quality answers they need without losing the respect of my team for taking my wife's side?
management
edited Jul 18 '16 at 22:47
ColleenV
2,753928
asked Jul 18 '16 at 13:36
Significant Other
11313
closed as off-topic by Chris E, The Wandering Dev Manager, Lilienthal♦, gnat, Rory Alsop Jul 19 '16 at 8:23
This question appears to be off-topic. The users who voted to close gave this specific reason:
- "Real questions have answers. Rather than explaining why your situation is terrible, or why your boss/coworker makes you unhappy, explain what you want to do to make it better. For more information, click here." – Chris E, The Wandering Dev Manager, Lilienthal, gnat, Rory Alsop
 |Â
show 1 more comment
up vote
20
down vote
favorite
My partner and I work for the same IT company, we're in different teams but she often comes to people in the team I manage when she needs help.
There are some people in my team who are dropping the ball with answers. I know this and am working on addressing it longer term. She doesn't like useless answers (one of the reasons why I love her) and quite rightly when she's given one she raises it with their manager... me.
This makes things very difficult for me, if any other member of the business reported problems with one of my team members I'd professionally point out that they're not being very supportive. However as it's my wife I think there's a danger I'd be seen as playing favorites or taking her side.
How can I ensure she (and everyone) gets the quality answers they need without losing the respect of my team for taking my wife's side?
management
edited Jul 18 '16 at 22:47
ColleenV
2,753928
asked Jul 18 '16 at 13:36
Significant Other
11313
closed as off-topic by Chris E, The Wandering Dev Manager, Lilienthal♦, gnat, Rory Alsop Jul 19 '16 at 8:23
This question appears to be off-topic. The users who voted to close gave this specific reason:
- "Real questions have answers. Rather than explaining why your situation is terrible, or why your boss/coworker makes you unhappy, explain what you want to do to make it better. For more information, click here." – Chris E, The Wandering Dev Manager, Lilienthal, gnat, Rory Alsop
5
Is your partner the only one that is complaining? If not, then I don't see a problem. You will have a list of complaints from multiple people that you can use to train the team members.
– Laconic Droid
Jul 18 '16 at 13:50
Have you gotten any push back from your team when you mention the problems she has had?
– JasonJ
Jul 18 '16 at 13:55
2
Well if they make shitty answers you can just Point that out, shouldnt matter if it was your wife or not. Worst case just spit up the Archive and tell X to explain mail Y. When he gives you a proper answer tell X why he didnt give that Response instead :)
– Raoul Mensink
Jul 18 '16 at 14:01
Do other people approach your team for help?
– corsiKa
Jul 18 '16 at 16:13
2
This sounds like a question about balancing or prioritising between personal and professional commitments/responsibilities. The title suggests the OP has already made a decision of favouring personal over professional.
– kwah
Jul 18 '16 at 19:33
 |Â
show 1 more comment
up vote
20
down vote
favorite
up vote
20
down vote
favorite
My partner and I work for the same IT company, we're in different teams but she often comes to people in the team I manage when she needs help.
There are some people in my team who are dropping the ball with answers. I know this and am working on addressing it longer term. She doesn't like useless answers (one of the reasons why I love her) and quite rightly when she's given one she raises it with their manager... me.
This makes things very difficult for me, if any other member of the business reported problems with one of my team members I'd professionally point out that they're not being very supportive. However as it's my wife I think there's a danger I'd be seen as playing favorites or taking her side.
How can I ensure she (and everyone) gets the quality answers they need without losing the respect of my team for taking my wife's side?
management
edited Jul 18 '16 at 22:47
ColleenV
2,753928
asked Jul 18 '16 at 13:36
Significant Other
11313
My partner and I work for the same IT company, we're in different teams but she often comes to people in the team I manage when she needs help.
There are some people in my team who are dropping the ball with answers. I know this and am working on addressing it longer term. She doesn't like useless answers (one of the reasons why I love her) and quite rightly when she's given one she raises it with their manager... me.
This makes things very difficult for me, if any other member of the business reported problems with one of my team members I'd professionally point out that they're not being very supportive. However as it's my wife I think there's a danger I'd be seen as playing favorites or taking her side.
How can I ensure she (and everyone) gets the quality answers they need without losing the respect of my team for taking my wife's side?
management
edited Jul 18 '16 at 22:47
ColleenV
2,753928
asked Jul 18 '16 at 13:36
Significant Other
11313
edited Jul 18 '16 at 22:47
ColleenV
2,753928
edited Jul 18 '16 at 22:47
ColleenV
2,753928
edited Jul 18 '16 at 22:47
ColleenV
2,753928
2,753928
asked Jul 18 '16 at 13:36
Significant Other
11313
asked Jul 18 '16 at 13:36
Significant Other
11313
asked Jul 18 '16 at 13:36
Significant Other
11313
11313
closed as off-topic by Chris E, The Wandering Dev Manager, Lilienthal♦, gnat, Rory Alsop Jul 19 '16 at 8:23
This question appears to be off-topic. The users who voted to close gave this specific reason:
- "Real questions have answers. Rather than explaining why your situation is terrible, or why your boss/coworker makes you unhappy, explain what you want to do to make it better. For more information, click here." – Chris E, The Wandering Dev Manager, Lilienthal, gnat, Rory Alsop
closed as off-topic by Chris E, The Wandering Dev Manager, Lilienthal♦, gnat, Rory Alsop Jul 19 '16 at 8:23
This question appears to be off-topic. The users who voted to close gave this specific reason:
- "Real questions have answers. Rather than explaining why your situation is terrible, or why your boss/coworker makes you unhappy, explain what you want to do to make it better. For more information, click here." – Chris E, The Wandering Dev Manager, Lilienthal, gnat, Rory Alsop
5
Is your partner the only one that is complaining? If not, then I don't see a problem. You will have a list of complaints from multiple people that you can use to train the team members.
– Laconic Droid
Jul 18 '16 at 13:50
Have you gotten any push back from your team when you mention the problems she has had?
– JasonJ
Jul 18 '16 at 13:55
2
Well if they make shitty answers you can just Point that out, shouldnt matter if it was your wife or not. Worst case just spit up the Archive and tell X to explain mail Y. When he gives you a proper answer tell X why he didnt give that Response instead :)
– Raoul Mensink
Jul 18 '16 at 14:01
Do other people approach your team for help?
– corsiKa
Jul 18 '16 at 16:13
2
This sounds like a question about balancing or prioritising between personal and professional commitments/responsibilities. The title suggests the OP has already made a decision of favouring personal over professional.
– kwah
Jul 18 '16 at 19:33
 |Â
show 1 more comment
5
Is your partner the only one that is complaining? If not, then I don't see a problem. You will have a list of complaints from multiple people that you can use to train the team members.
– Laconic Droid
Jul 18 '16 at 13:50
Have you gotten any push back from your team when you mention the problems she has had?
– JasonJ
Jul 18 '16 at 13:55
2
Well if they make shitty answers you can just Point that out, shouldnt matter if it was your wife or not. Worst case just spit up the Archive and tell X to explain mail Y. When he gives you a proper answer tell X why he didnt give that Response instead :)
– Raoul Mensink
Jul 18 '16 at 14:01
Do other people approach your team for help?
– corsiKa
Jul 18 '16 at 16:13
2
This sounds like a question about balancing or prioritising between personal and professional commitments/responsibilities. The title suggests the OP has already made a decision of favouring personal over professional.
– kwah
Jul 18 '16 at 19:33
5
5
Is your partner the only one that is complaining? If not, then I don't see a problem. You will have a list of complaints from multiple people that you can use to train the team members.
– Laconic Droid
Jul 18 '16 at 13:50
Is your partner the only one that is complaining? If not, then I don't see a problem. You will have a list of complaints from multiple people that you can use to train the team members.
– Laconic Droid
Jul 18 '16 at 13:50
Have you gotten any push back from your team when you mention the problems she has had?
– JasonJ
Jul 18 '16 at 13:55
Have you gotten any push back from your team when you mention the problems she has had?
– JasonJ
Jul 18 '16 at 13:55
2
2
Well if they make shitty answers you can just Point that out, shouldnt matter if it was your wife or not. Worst case just spit up the Archive and tell X to explain mail Y. When he gives you a proper answer tell X why he didnt give that Response instead :)
– Raoul Mensink
Jul 18 '16 at 14:01
Well if they make shitty answers you can just Point that out, shouldnt matter if it was your wife or not. Worst case just spit up the Archive and tell X to explain mail Y. When he gives you a proper answer tell X why he didnt give that Response instead :)
– Raoul Mensink
Jul 18 '16 at 14:01
Do other people approach your team for help?
– corsiKa
Jul 18 '16 at 16:13
Do other people approach your team for help?
– corsiKa
Jul 18 '16 at 16:13
2
2
This sounds like a question about balancing or prioritising between personal and professional commitments/responsibilities. The title suggests the OP has already made a decision of favouring personal over professional.
– kwah
Jul 18 '16 at 19:33
This sounds like a question about balancing or prioritising between personal and professional commitments/responsibilities. The title suggests the OP has already made a decision of favouring personal over professional.
– kwah
Jul 18 '16 at 19:33
 |Â
show 1 more comment
6 Answers
6
active
oldest
votes
up vote
24
down vote
When you work with a partner or spouse or child, you have be able to step back from that relationship at work. Treat her exactly as you would treat anyone else.
If she has a complaint about your team, she gets the same professional courtesy as anyone who has a complaint. That means that you defend your team when the person complaining is wrong and correct the team when the person complaining is correct.
What is critical to your relationship to the team is that you push back any unfair criticism. They will know, or should know, when the criticism is fair.
When people perceive favoritism it is usually because the unfair stuff is passed through uncritically especially when you don't do that for anyone else. It is perceived as favoritism if her stuff always takes priority too, so watch out for that.
You and your spouse need to have an agreement that you will push back things if, in your judgement, you do not think they are correct or they are not your highest priority. You are not married at work and your interests, being in different departments, are going to come into conflict at times. It is important that there be that conflict and that it be known publicly.
answered Jul 18 '16 at 13:51
HLGEM
133k25226489
3
You are not married at work - in what sense is that statement true? Marriage doesn't mean agreement.
– Robert Grant
Jul 18 '16 at 20:57
I'd emphasise that having a discussion with your wife, explaining the situation you're being placed in, and warning her in advance that if you disagree with her assessment, you're not going to defend the team the same way you would with anyone else. Assuming you're able to communicate with your wife, this shouldn't be an issue.
– Basic
Jul 18 '16 at 22:27
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
5
down vote
I think there's a bunch of questions you need to answer before we can give you a more qualitative answer. For example:
History
Do these employees have a history of providing poor quality answers? If they do then you need to deal with them as with any poorly performing team member, and do whatever it is you do when that happens.
If however, they are typically reliable people you have to ask yourself why a mistake was made. Was it to spite you, your wife, or her team? Or maybe ...
Unfair Situation?
Are they dropping the ball because they're being caught unprepared? Because they're being pulled in too many directions? Is it unnusual for them to be approached by people from other departments and being asked to answer questions? Is there a more appropriate channel for these sort of requests?
What this comes down to is whether or not the question being asked of them is a standard one which they should be able to provide info on, or whether they are being put in an unfair situation.
The way you tell it, your wife walks up to them, requests information, or a solution to a problem, and then storms off to you when she finds the answer inadequate. Is this the standard operating procedure when someone has a question for your team? Or is there a more appropriate process which your wife should be following so that these people have a chance to better think out their answer?
For example, if the process is typically that a request is submitted, or an email sent, and she's just asking them in person then maybe they're answering under pressure, and with incomplete knowledge.
Conclusion
First and foremost you have to make sure that the proper process is enforced when information is requested of your team. Those people have to know that you have their back when people are abusing their time, or making unfair requests of them.
If that is the case, and someone is simply underperforming then enforce the rules fairly. If many people make the same mistake maybe run a training session. Send out memos remind people that information must be checked to be up to date before provided to others. If one person's screw up is really bad then maybe have a private conversation with said person advising them to up their game, etc. This is all standard managerial stuff, and should be no different from how you'd handle such a complaint from another manager or team leader.
answered Jul 18 '16 at 19:16
AndreiROM
44k21101173
In most corporate setting I've been in the lower end workers are shielded from being asked directly. They have to talk to the manager in charge before talking directly. Even if they "dropped the ball" the asking person would be in more trouble.
– Dan
Jul 19 '16 at 19:06
@Dan - same, that's why I'm asking the OP all these questions.
– AndreiROM
Jul 19 '16 at 22:16
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
2
down vote
In my opinion, you are between the rock and a hard place my friend. Regardless what you, do, or how right your significant other is, as long as you are related, your team will look at you as, you are protecting your partner, even though they know deep inside that you are doing rightfully so. It is workplace politics and subordinates, especially disgruntled ones, will play this "relationship" card, over and again.
I know this will sound quite counter-productive but, when your partner gets into this situation, instead of coming to you directly, a coworker from the same team should come to the same person with the same question and if that person gets the same brush-off answer, then he/she comes to you and you should keep your impartiality as that person have no relation to you. On the other hand this person, who is not related to is getting a better treatment than your partner, then you might have another issue in your hands. As in, your subordinates are undermining you because of this relationship status and it is a whole new can of worms, which I am not going to open here and now, prematurely.
answered Jul 18 '16 at 14:11
MelBurslan
7,00511123
As Long as the op doesnt treat his wife as a VIP, his subordinates cant complain, and if they do replace their ungratefull asses
– Raoul Mensink
Jul 18 '16 at 14:16
Good thinking but replacing their ungrateful heineys is creating a whole new ball game that one should have good lawyers for.
– MelBurslan
Jul 18 '16 at 14:26
that is a Problem for my Boss not me :D
– Raoul Mensink
Jul 18 '16 at 15:29
3
The old rule used to be treat friends and family more harshly than other workers. It keeps complaints down in two ways, since when people see that, the worst thing that will go through their heads is "If he treats family like that, I'd better watch myself."
– Richard U
Jul 18 '16 at 15:59
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
0
down vote
Maybe your team feels that there is an attitude problem. Someone from another team who is just impossible to please and runs straight to the boss, and the boss is under her thumb and does whatever she says.
Your job is to back your team. Are you doing that? Starting with their username, I think you and your wife working in the same company close together might not be beneficial to your team and to your company.
If you disagree, take action to make your team feel that you have their back.
answered Jul 18 '16 at 20:43
gnasher729
70.5k31131219
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
-1
down vote
During the work day, treat your partner exactly as you would any other co-worker you are on good terms with. That's what the company is paying you to do.
answered Jul 18 '16 at 13:56
keshlam
41.5k1267144
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
-2
down vote
Don't let (any) outside people go directly to your team. It puts your team in a very awkward spot anyway. Examples: Say you have assigned Task A. Someone else comes along and gives Task B. Now your employee has to choose... Do they finish A with a slow turnaround on B, do they drop A to do B first?
Instead, all requests to your team come to you and you manage the work by prioritizing and assigning. Then if something (anything) is taking too long or not done satisfactorily, you go around and ask why. At that point it's not a task for some outside manager that they're not doing properly, it is a task for you.
There are lots of ways to make this work, but a good starting point for the type of IT team that gets a lot of small outside requests is to use a ticket tracker with a Kanban board.
You will probably need frequent reminders at first, insisting that outside people are not to go directly to your team and also reminding your team to not accept outside work.
answered Jul 18 '16 at 21:14
user3067860
43936
1
Yes micromanage and remove opportunities for learning, completely.
– AthomSfere
Jul 18 '16 at 22:43
I'm unsure why this is getting downvoted? It's solid advice. A manager should not go to another manager's workers and make requests or demands then go complain about it. It sounds very unprofessional and causes the workers to be in a bad position because they're always wrong and worry about being "told on."
– Dan
Jul 19 '16 at 19:24
suggest improvements |Â
6 Answers
6
active
oldest
votes
6 Answers
6
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
up vote
24
down vote
When you work with a partner or spouse or child, you have be able to step back from that relationship at work. Treat her exactly as you would treat anyone else.
If she has a complaint about your team, she gets the same professional courtesy as anyone who has a complaint. That means that you defend your team when the person complaining is wrong and correct the team when the person complaining is correct.
What is critical to your relationship to the team is that you push back any unfair criticism. They will know, or should know, when the criticism is fair.
When people perceive favoritism it is usually because the unfair stuff is passed through uncritically especially when you don't do that for anyone else. It is perceived as favoritism if her stuff always takes priority too, so watch out for that.
You and your spouse need to have an agreement that you will push back things if, in your judgement, you do not think they are correct or they are not your highest priority. You are not married at work and your interests, being in different departments, are going to come into conflict at times. It is important that there be that conflict and that it be known publicly.
answered Jul 18 '16 at 13:51
HLGEM
133k25226489
3
You are not married at work - in what sense is that statement true? Marriage doesn't mean agreement.
– Robert Grant
Jul 18 '16 at 20:57
I'd emphasise that having a discussion with your wife, explaining the situation you're being placed in, and warning her in advance that if you disagree with her assessment, you're not going to defend the team the same way you would with anyone else. Assuming you're able to communicate with your wife, this shouldn't be an issue.
– Basic
Jul 18 '16 at 22:27
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
24
down vote
When you work with a partner or spouse or child, you have be able to step back from that relationship at work. Treat her exactly as you would treat anyone else.
If she has a complaint about your team, she gets the same professional courtesy as anyone who has a complaint. That means that you defend your team when the person complaining is wrong and correct the team when the person complaining is correct.
What is critical to your relationship to the team is that you push back any unfair criticism. They will know, or should know, when the criticism is fair.
When people perceive favoritism it is usually because the unfair stuff is passed through uncritically especially when you don't do that for anyone else. It is perceived as favoritism if her stuff always takes priority too, so watch out for that.
You and your spouse need to have an agreement that you will push back things if, in your judgement, you do not think they are correct or they are not your highest priority. You are not married at work and your interests, being in different departments, are going to come into conflict at times. It is important that there be that conflict and that it be known publicly.
answered Jul 18 '16 at 13:51
HLGEM
133k25226489
3
You are not married at work - in what sense is that statement true? Marriage doesn't mean agreement.
– Robert Grant
Jul 18 '16 at 20:57
I'd emphasise that having a discussion with your wife, explaining the situation you're being placed in, and warning her in advance that if you disagree with her assessment, you're not going to defend the team the same way you would with anyone else. Assuming you're able to communicate with your wife, this shouldn't be an issue.
– Basic
Jul 18 '16 at 22:27
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
24
down vote
up vote
24
down vote
When you work with a partner or spouse or child, you have be able to step back from that relationship at work. Treat her exactly as you would treat anyone else.
If she has a complaint about your team, she gets the same professional courtesy as anyone who has a complaint. That means that you defend your team when the person complaining is wrong and correct the team when the person complaining is correct.
What is critical to your relationship to the team is that you push back any unfair criticism. They will know, or should know, when the criticism is fair.
When people perceive favoritism it is usually because the unfair stuff is passed through uncritically especially when you don't do that for anyone else. It is perceived as favoritism if her stuff always takes priority too, so watch out for that.
You and your spouse need to have an agreement that you will push back things if, in your judgement, you do not think they are correct or they are not your highest priority. You are not married at work and your interests, being in different departments, are going to come into conflict at times. It is important that there be that conflict and that it be known publicly.
answered Jul 18 '16 at 13:51
HLGEM
133k25226489
When you work with a partner or spouse or child, you have be able to step back from that relationship at work. Treat her exactly as you would treat anyone else.
If she has a complaint about your team, she gets the same professional courtesy as anyone who has a complaint. That means that you defend your team when the person complaining is wrong and correct the team when the person complaining is correct.
What is critical to your relationship to the team is that you push back any unfair criticism. They will know, or should know, when the criticism is fair.
When people perceive favoritism it is usually because the unfair stuff is passed through uncritically especially when you don't do that for anyone else. It is perceived as favoritism if her stuff always takes priority too, so watch out for that.
You and your spouse need to have an agreement that you will push back things if, in your judgement, you do not think they are correct or they are not your highest priority. You are not married at work and your interests, being in different departments, are going to come into conflict at times. It is important that there be that conflict and that it be known publicly.
answered Jul 18 '16 at 13:51
HLGEM
133k25226489
answered Jul 18 '16 at 13:51
HLGEM
133k25226489
answered Jul 18 '16 at 13:51
HLGEM
133k25226489
answered Jul 18 '16 at 13:51
HLGEM
133k25226489
133k25226489
3
You are not married at work - in what sense is that statement true? Marriage doesn't mean agreement.
– Robert Grant
Jul 18 '16 at 20:57
I'd emphasise that having a discussion with your wife, explaining the situation you're being placed in, and warning her in advance that if you disagree with her assessment, you're not going to defend the team the same way you would with anyone else. Assuming you're able to communicate with your wife, this shouldn't be an issue.
– Basic
Jul 18 '16 at 22:27
suggest improvements |Â
3
You are not married at work - in what sense is that statement true? Marriage doesn't mean agreement.
– Robert Grant
Jul 18 '16 at 20:57
I'd emphasise that having a discussion with your wife, explaining the situation you're being placed in, and warning her in advance that if you disagree with her assessment, you're not going to defend the team the same way you would with anyone else. Assuming you're able to communicate with your wife, this shouldn't be an issue.
– Basic
Jul 18 '16 at 22:27
3
3
You are not married at work - in what sense is that statement true? Marriage doesn't mean agreement.
– Robert Grant
Jul 18 '16 at 20:57
You are not married at work - in what sense is that statement true? Marriage doesn't mean agreement.
– Robert Grant
Jul 18 '16 at 20:57
I'd emphasise that having a discussion with your wife, explaining the situation you're being placed in, and warning her in advance that if you disagree with her assessment, you're not going to defend the team the same way you would with anyone else. Assuming you're able to communicate with your wife, this shouldn't be an issue.
– Basic
Jul 18 '16 at 22:27
I'd emphasise that having a discussion with your wife, explaining the situation you're being placed in, and warning her in advance that if you disagree with her assessment, you're not going to defend the team the same way you would with anyone else. Assuming you're able to communicate with your wife, this shouldn't be an issue.
– Basic
Jul 18 '16 at 22:27
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
5
down vote
I think there's a bunch of questions you need to answer before we can give you a more qualitative answer. For example:
History
Do these employees have a history of providing poor quality answers? If they do then you need to deal with them as with any poorly performing team member, and do whatever it is you do when that happens.
If however, they are typically reliable people you have to ask yourself why a mistake was made. Was it to spite you, your wife, or her team? Or maybe ...
Unfair Situation?
Are they dropping the ball because they're being caught unprepared? Because they're being pulled in too many directions? Is it unnusual for them to be approached by people from other departments and being asked to answer questions? Is there a more appropriate channel for these sort of requests?
What this comes down to is whether or not the question being asked of them is a standard one which they should be able to provide info on, or whether they are being put in an unfair situation.
The way you tell it, your wife walks up to them, requests information, or a solution to a problem, and then storms off to you when she finds the answer inadequate. Is this the standard operating procedure when someone has a question for your team? Or is there a more appropriate process which your wife should be following so that these people have a chance to better think out their answer?
For example, if the process is typically that a request is submitted, or an email sent, and she's just asking them in person then maybe they're answering under pressure, and with incomplete knowledge.
Conclusion
First and foremost you have to make sure that the proper process is enforced when information is requested of your team. Those people have to know that you have their back when people are abusing their time, or making unfair requests of them.
If that is the case, and someone is simply underperforming then enforce the rules fairly. If many people make the same mistake maybe run a training session. Send out memos remind people that information must be checked to be up to date before provided to others. If one person's screw up is really bad then maybe have a private conversation with said person advising them to up their game, etc. This is all standard managerial stuff, and should be no different from how you'd handle such a complaint from another manager or team leader.
answered Jul 18 '16 at 19:16
AndreiROM
44k21101173
In most corporate setting I've been in the lower end workers are shielded from being asked directly. They have to talk to the manager in charge before talking directly. Even if they "dropped the ball" the asking person would be in more trouble.
– Dan
Jul 19 '16 at 19:06
@Dan - same, that's why I'm asking the OP all these questions.
– AndreiROM
Jul 19 '16 at 22:16
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
5
down vote
I think there's a bunch of questions you need to answer before we can give you a more qualitative answer. For example:
History
Do these employees have a history of providing poor quality answers? If they do then you need to deal with them as with any poorly performing team member, and do whatever it is you do when that happens.
If however, they are typically reliable people you have to ask yourself why a mistake was made. Was it to spite you, your wife, or her team? Or maybe ...
Unfair Situation?
Are they dropping the ball because they're being caught unprepared? Because they're being pulled in too many directions? Is it unnusual for them to be approached by people from other departments and being asked to answer questions? Is there a more appropriate channel for these sort of requests?
What this comes down to is whether or not the question being asked of them is a standard one which they should be able to provide info on, or whether they are being put in an unfair situation.
The way you tell it, your wife walks up to them, requests information, or a solution to a problem, and then storms off to you when she finds the answer inadequate. Is this the standard operating procedure when someone has a question for your team? Or is there a more appropriate process which your wife should be following so that these people have a chance to better think out their answer?
For example, if the process is typically that a request is submitted, or an email sent, and she's just asking them in person then maybe they're answering under pressure, and with incomplete knowledge.
Conclusion
First and foremost you have to make sure that the proper process is enforced when information is requested of your team. Those people have to know that you have their back when people are abusing their time, or making unfair requests of them.
If that is the case, and someone is simply underperforming then enforce the rules fairly. If many people make the same mistake maybe run a training session. Send out memos remind people that information must be checked to be up to date before provided to others. If one person's screw up is really bad then maybe have a private conversation with said person advising them to up their game, etc. This is all standard managerial stuff, and should be no different from how you'd handle such a complaint from another manager or team leader.
answered Jul 18 '16 at 19:16
AndreiROM
44k21101173
In most corporate setting I've been in the lower end workers are shielded from being asked directly. They have to talk to the manager in charge before talking directly. Even if they "dropped the ball" the asking person would be in more trouble.
– Dan
Jul 19 '16 at 19:06
@Dan - same, that's why I'm asking the OP all these questions.
– AndreiROM
Jul 19 '16 at 22:16
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
5
down vote
up vote
5
down vote
I think there's a bunch of questions you need to answer before we can give you a more qualitative answer. For example:
History
Do these employees have a history of providing poor quality answers? If they do then you need to deal with them as with any poorly performing team member, and do whatever it is you do when that happens.
If however, they are typically reliable people you have to ask yourself why a mistake was made. Was it to spite you, your wife, or her team? Or maybe ...
Unfair Situation?
Are they dropping the ball because they're being caught unprepared? Because they're being pulled in too many directions? Is it unnusual for them to be approached by people from other departments and being asked to answer questions? Is there a more appropriate channel for these sort of requests?
What this comes down to is whether or not the question being asked of them is a standard one which they should be able to provide info on, or whether they are being put in an unfair situation.
The way you tell it, your wife walks up to them, requests information, or a solution to a problem, and then storms off to you when she finds the answer inadequate. Is this the standard operating procedure when someone has a question for your team? Or is there a more appropriate process which your wife should be following so that these people have a chance to better think out their answer?
For example, if the process is typically that a request is submitted, or an email sent, and she's just asking them in person then maybe they're answering under pressure, and with incomplete knowledge.
Conclusion
First and foremost you have to make sure that the proper process is enforced when information is requested of your team. Those people have to know that you have their back when people are abusing their time, or making unfair requests of them.
If that is the case, and someone is simply underperforming then enforce the rules fairly. If many people make the same mistake maybe run a training session. Send out memos remind people that information must be checked to be up to date before provided to others. If one person's screw up is really bad then maybe have a private conversation with said person advising them to up their game, etc. This is all standard managerial stuff, and should be no different from how you'd handle such a complaint from another manager or team leader.
answered Jul 18 '16 at 19:16
AndreiROM
44k21101173
I think there's a bunch of questions you need to answer before we can give you a more qualitative answer. For example:
History
Do these employees have a history of providing poor quality answers? If they do then you need to deal with them as with any poorly performing team member, and do whatever it is you do when that happens.
If however, they are typically reliable people you have to ask yourself why a mistake was made. Was it to spite you, your wife, or her team? Or maybe ...
Unfair Situation?
Are they dropping the ball because they're being caught unprepared? Because they're being pulled in too many directions? Is it unnusual for them to be approached by people from other departments and being asked to answer questions? Is there a more appropriate channel for these sort of requests?
What this comes down to is whether or not the question being asked of them is a standard one which they should be able to provide info on, or whether they are being put in an unfair situation.
The way you tell it, your wife walks up to them, requests information, or a solution to a problem, and then storms off to you when she finds the answer inadequate. Is this the standard operating procedure when someone has a question for your team? Or is there a more appropriate process which your wife should be following so that these people have a chance to better think out their answer?
For example, if the process is typically that a request is submitted, or an email sent, and she's just asking them in person then maybe they're answering under pressure, and with incomplete knowledge.
Conclusion
First and foremost you have to make sure that the proper process is enforced when information is requested of your team. Those people have to know that you have their back when people are abusing their time, or making unfair requests of them.
If that is the case, and someone is simply underperforming then enforce the rules fairly. If many people make the same mistake maybe run a training session. Send out memos remind people that information must be checked to be up to date before provided to others. If one person's screw up is really bad then maybe have a private conversation with said person advising them to up their game, etc. This is all standard managerial stuff, and should be no different from how you'd handle such a complaint from another manager or team leader.
answered Jul 18 '16 at 19:16
AndreiROM
44k21101173
answered Jul 18 '16 at 19:16
AndreiROM
44k21101173
answered Jul 18 '16 at 19:16
AndreiROM
44k21101173
answered Jul 18 '16 at 19:16
AndreiROM
44k21101173
44k21101173
In most corporate setting I've been in the lower end workers are shielded from being asked directly. They have to talk to the manager in charge before talking directly. Even if they "dropped the ball" the asking person would be in more trouble.
– Dan
Jul 19 '16 at 19:06
@Dan - same, that's why I'm asking the OP all these questions.
– AndreiROM
Jul 19 '16 at 22:16
suggest improvements |Â
In most corporate setting I've been in the lower end workers are shielded from being asked directly. They have to talk to the manager in charge before talking directly. Even if they "dropped the ball" the asking person would be in more trouble.
– Dan
Jul 19 '16 at 19:06
@Dan - same, that's why I'm asking the OP all these questions.
– AndreiROM
Jul 19 '16 at 22:16
In most corporate setting I've been in the lower end workers are shielded from being asked directly. They have to talk to the manager in charge before talking directly. Even if they "dropped the ball" the asking person would be in more trouble.
– Dan
Jul 19 '16 at 19:06
In most corporate setting I've been in the lower end workers are shielded from being asked directly. They have to talk to the manager in charge before talking directly. Even if they "dropped the ball" the asking person would be in more trouble.
– Dan
Jul 19 '16 at 19:06
@Dan - same, that's why I'm asking the OP all these questions.
– AndreiROM
Jul 19 '16 at 22:16
@Dan - same, that's why I'm asking the OP all these questions.
– AndreiROM
Jul 19 '16 at 22:16
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
2
down vote
In my opinion, you are between the rock and a hard place my friend. Regardless what you, do, or how right your significant other is, as long as you are related, your team will look at you as, you are protecting your partner, even though they know deep inside that you are doing rightfully so. It is workplace politics and subordinates, especially disgruntled ones, will play this "relationship" card, over and again.
I know this will sound quite counter-productive but, when your partner gets into this situation, instead of coming to you directly, a coworker from the same team should come to the same person with the same question and if that person gets the same brush-off answer, then he/she comes to you and you should keep your impartiality as that person have no relation to you. On the other hand this person, who is not related to is getting a better treatment than your partner, then you might have another issue in your hands. As in, your subordinates are undermining you because of this relationship status and it is a whole new can of worms, which I am not going to open here and now, prematurely.
answered Jul 18 '16 at 14:11
MelBurslan
7,00511123
As Long as the op doesnt treat his wife as a VIP, his subordinates cant complain, and if they do replace their ungratefull asses
– Raoul Mensink
Jul 18 '16 at 14:16
Good thinking but replacing their ungrateful heineys is creating a whole new ball game that one should have good lawyers for.
– MelBurslan
Jul 18 '16 at 14:26
that is a Problem for my Boss not me :D
– Raoul Mensink
Jul 18 '16 at 15:29
3
The old rule used to be treat friends and family more harshly than other workers. It keeps complaints down in two ways, since when people see that, the worst thing that will go through their heads is "If he treats family like that, I'd better watch myself."
– Richard U
Jul 18 '16 at 15:59
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
2
down vote
In my opinion, you are between the rock and a hard place my friend. Regardless what you, do, or how right your significant other is, as long as you are related, your team will look at you as, you are protecting your partner, even though they know deep inside that you are doing rightfully so. It is workplace politics and subordinates, especially disgruntled ones, will play this "relationship" card, over and again.
I know this will sound quite counter-productive but, when your partner gets into this situation, instead of coming to you directly, a coworker from the same team should come to the same person with the same question and if that person gets the same brush-off answer, then he/she comes to you and you should keep your impartiality as that person have no relation to you. On the other hand this person, who is not related to is getting a better treatment than your partner, then you might have another issue in your hands. As in, your subordinates are undermining you because of this relationship status and it is a whole new can of worms, which I am not going to open here and now, prematurely.
answered Jul 18 '16 at 14:11
MelBurslan
7,00511123
As Long as the op doesnt treat his wife as a VIP, his subordinates cant complain, and if they do replace their ungratefull asses
– Raoul Mensink
Jul 18 '16 at 14:16
Good thinking but replacing their ungrateful heineys is creating a whole new ball game that one should have good lawyers for.
– MelBurslan
Jul 18 '16 at 14:26
that is a Problem for my Boss not me :D
– Raoul Mensink
Jul 18 '16 at 15:29
3
The old rule used to be treat friends and family more harshly than other workers. It keeps complaints down in two ways, since when people see that, the worst thing that will go through their heads is "If he treats family like that, I'd better watch myself."
– Richard U
Jul 18 '16 at 15:59
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
2
down vote
up vote
2
down vote
In my opinion, you are between the rock and a hard place my friend. Regardless what you, do, or how right your significant other is, as long as you are related, your team will look at you as, you are protecting your partner, even though they know deep inside that you are doing rightfully so. It is workplace politics and subordinates, especially disgruntled ones, will play this "relationship" card, over and again.
I know this will sound quite counter-productive but, when your partner gets into this situation, instead of coming to you directly, a coworker from the same team should come to the same person with the same question and if that person gets the same brush-off answer, then he/she comes to you and you should keep your impartiality as that person have no relation to you. On the other hand this person, who is not related to is getting a better treatment than your partner, then you might have another issue in your hands. As in, your subordinates are undermining you because of this relationship status and it is a whole new can of worms, which I am not going to open here and now, prematurely.
answered Jul 18 '16 at 14:11
MelBurslan
7,00511123
In my opinion, you are between the rock and a hard place my friend. Regardless what you, do, or how right your significant other is, as long as you are related, your team will look at you as, you are protecting your partner, even though they know deep inside that you are doing rightfully so. It is workplace politics and subordinates, especially disgruntled ones, will play this "relationship" card, over and again.
I know this will sound quite counter-productive but, when your partner gets into this situation, instead of coming to you directly, a coworker from the same team should come to the same person with the same question and if that person gets the same brush-off answer, then he/she comes to you and you should keep your impartiality as that person have no relation to you. On the other hand this person, who is not related to is getting a better treatment than your partner, then you might have another issue in your hands. As in, your subordinates are undermining you because of this relationship status and it is a whole new can of worms, which I am not going to open here and now, prematurely.
answered Jul 18 '16 at 14:11
MelBurslan
7,00511123
answered Jul 18 '16 at 14:11
MelBurslan
7,00511123
answered Jul 18 '16 at 14:11
MelBurslan
7,00511123
answered Jul 18 '16 at 14:11
MelBurslan
7,00511123
7,00511123
As Long as the op doesnt treat his wife as a VIP, his subordinates cant complain, and if they do replace their ungratefull asses
– Raoul Mensink
Jul 18 '16 at 14:16
Good thinking but replacing their ungrateful heineys is creating a whole new ball game that one should have good lawyers for.
– MelBurslan
Jul 18 '16 at 14:26
that is a Problem for my Boss not me :D
– Raoul Mensink
Jul 18 '16 at 15:29
3
The old rule used to be treat friends and family more harshly than other workers. It keeps complaints down in two ways, since when people see that, the worst thing that will go through their heads is "If he treats family like that, I'd better watch myself."
– Richard U
Jul 18 '16 at 15:59
suggest improvements |Â
As Long as the op doesnt treat his wife as a VIP, his subordinates cant complain, and if they do replace their ungratefull asses
– Raoul Mensink
Jul 18 '16 at 14:16
Good thinking but replacing their ungrateful heineys is creating a whole new ball game that one should have good lawyers for.
– MelBurslan
Jul 18 '16 at 14:26
that is a Problem for my Boss not me :D
– Raoul Mensink
Jul 18 '16 at 15:29
3
The old rule used to be treat friends and family more harshly than other workers. It keeps complaints down in two ways, since when people see that, the worst thing that will go through their heads is "If he treats family like that, I'd better watch myself."
– Richard U
Jul 18 '16 at 15:59
As Long as the op doesnt treat his wife as a VIP, his subordinates cant complain, and if they do replace their ungratefull asses
– Raoul Mensink
Jul 18 '16 at 14:16
As Long as the op doesnt treat his wife as a VIP, his subordinates cant complain, and if they do replace their ungratefull asses
– Raoul Mensink
Jul 18 '16 at 14:16
Good thinking but replacing their ungrateful heineys is creating a whole new ball game that one should have good lawyers for.
– MelBurslan
Jul 18 '16 at 14:26
Good thinking but replacing their ungrateful heineys is creating a whole new ball game that one should have good lawyers for.
– MelBurslan
Jul 18 '16 at 14:26
that is a Problem for my Boss not me :D
– Raoul Mensink
Jul 18 '16 at 15:29
that is a Problem for my Boss not me :D
– Raoul Mensink
Jul 18 '16 at 15:29
3
3
The old rule used to be treat friends and family more harshly than other workers. It keeps complaints down in two ways, since when people see that, the worst thing that will go through their heads is "If he treats family like that, I'd better watch myself."
– Richard U
Jul 18 '16 at 15:59
The old rule used to be treat friends and family more harshly than other workers. It keeps complaints down in two ways, since when people see that, the worst thing that will go through their heads is "If he treats family like that, I'd better watch myself."
– Richard U
Jul 18 '16 at 15:59
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
0
down vote
Maybe your team feels that there is an attitude problem. Someone from another team who is just impossible to please and runs straight to the boss, and the boss is under her thumb and does whatever she says.
Your job is to back your team. Are you doing that? Starting with their username, I think you and your wife working in the same company close together might not be beneficial to your team and to your company.
If you disagree, take action to make your team feel that you have their back.
answered Jul 18 '16 at 20:43
gnasher729
70.5k31131219
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
0
down vote
Maybe your team feels that there is an attitude problem. Someone from another team who is just impossible to please and runs straight to the boss, and the boss is under her thumb and does whatever she says.
Your job is to back your team. Are you doing that? Starting with their username, I think you and your wife working in the same company close together might not be beneficial to your team and to your company.
If you disagree, take action to make your team feel that you have their back.
answered Jul 18 '16 at 20:43
gnasher729
70.5k31131219
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
0
down vote
up vote
0
down vote
Maybe your team feels that there is an attitude problem. Someone from another team who is just impossible to please and runs straight to the boss, and the boss is under her thumb and does whatever she says.
Your job is to back your team. Are you doing that? Starting with their username, I think you and your wife working in the same company close together might not be beneficial to your team and to your company.
If you disagree, take action to make your team feel that you have their back.
answered Jul 18 '16 at 20:43
gnasher729
70.5k31131219
Maybe your team feels that there is an attitude problem. Someone from another team who is just impossible to please and runs straight to the boss, and the boss is under her thumb and does whatever she says.
Your job is to back your team. Are you doing that? Starting with their username, I think you and your wife working in the same company close together might not be beneficial to your team and to your company.
If you disagree, take action to make your team feel that you have their back.
answered Jul 18 '16 at 20:43
gnasher729
70.5k31131219
answered Jul 18 '16 at 20:43
gnasher729
70.5k31131219
answered Jul 18 '16 at 20:43
gnasher729
70.5k31131219
answered Jul 18 '16 at 20:43
gnasher729
70.5k31131219
70.5k31131219
suggest improvements |Â
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
-1
down vote
During the work day, treat your partner exactly as you would any other co-worker you are on good terms with. That's what the company is paying you to do.
answered Jul 18 '16 at 13:56
keshlam
41.5k1267144
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
-1
down vote
During the work day, treat your partner exactly as you would any other co-worker you are on good terms with. That's what the company is paying you to do.
answered Jul 18 '16 at 13:56
keshlam
41.5k1267144
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
-1
down vote
up vote
-1
down vote
During the work day, treat your partner exactly as you would any other co-worker you are on good terms with. That's what the company is paying you to do.
answered Jul 18 '16 at 13:56
keshlam
41.5k1267144
During the work day, treat your partner exactly as you would any other co-worker you are on good terms with. That's what the company is paying you to do.
answered Jul 18 '16 at 13:56
keshlam
41.5k1267144
answered Jul 18 '16 at 13:56
keshlam
41.5k1267144
answered Jul 18 '16 at 13:56
keshlam
41.5k1267144
answered Jul 18 '16 at 13:56
keshlam
41.5k1267144
41.5k1267144
suggest improvements |Â
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
-2
down vote
Don't let (any) outside people go directly to your team. It puts your team in a very awkward spot anyway. Examples: Say you have assigned Task A. Someone else comes along and gives Task B. Now your employee has to choose... Do they finish A with a slow turnaround on B, do they drop A to do B first?
Instead, all requests to your team come to you and you manage the work by prioritizing and assigning. Then if something (anything) is taking too long or not done satisfactorily, you go around and ask why. At that point it's not a task for some outside manager that they're not doing properly, it is a task for you.
There are lots of ways to make this work, but a good starting point for the type of IT team that gets a lot of small outside requests is to use a ticket tracker with a Kanban board.
You will probably need frequent reminders at first, insisting that outside people are not to go directly to your team and also reminding your team to not accept outside work.
answered Jul 18 '16 at 21:14
user3067860
43936
1
Yes micromanage and remove opportunities for learning, completely.
– AthomSfere
Jul 18 '16 at 22:43
I'm unsure why this is getting downvoted? It's solid advice. A manager should not go to another manager's workers and make requests or demands then go complain about it. It sounds very unprofessional and causes the workers to be in a bad position because they're always wrong and worry about being "told on."
– Dan
Jul 19 '16 at 19:24
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
-2
down vote
Don't let (any) outside people go directly to your team. It puts your team in a very awkward spot anyway. Examples: Say you have assigned Task A. Someone else comes along and gives Task B. Now your employee has to choose... Do they finish A with a slow turnaround on B, do they drop A to do B first?
Instead, all requests to your team come to you and you manage the work by prioritizing and assigning. Then if something (anything) is taking too long or not done satisfactorily, you go around and ask why. At that point it's not a task for some outside manager that they're not doing properly, it is a task for you.
There are lots of ways to make this work, but a good starting point for the type of IT team that gets a lot of small outside requests is to use a ticket tracker with a Kanban board.
You will probably need frequent reminders at first, insisting that outside people are not to go directly to your team and also reminding your team to not accept outside work.
answered Jul 18 '16 at 21:14
user3067860
43936
1
Yes micromanage and remove opportunities for learning, completely.
– AthomSfere
Jul 18 '16 at 22:43
I'm unsure why this is getting downvoted? It's solid advice. A manager should not go to another manager's workers and make requests or demands then go complain about it. It sounds very unprofessional and causes the workers to be in a bad position because they're always wrong and worry about being "told on."
– Dan
Jul 19 '16 at 19:24
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
-2
down vote
up vote
-2
down vote
Don't let (any) outside people go directly to your team. It puts your team in a very awkward spot anyway. Examples: Say you have assigned Task A. Someone else comes along and gives Task B. Now your employee has to choose... Do they finish A with a slow turnaround on B, do they drop A to do B first?
Instead, all requests to your team come to you and you manage the work by prioritizing and assigning. Then if something (anything) is taking too long or not done satisfactorily, you go around and ask why. At that point it's not a task for some outside manager that they're not doing properly, it is a task for you.
There are lots of ways to make this work, but a good starting point for the type of IT team that gets a lot of small outside requests is to use a ticket tracker with a Kanban board.
You will probably need frequent reminders at first, insisting that outside people are not to go directly to your team and also reminding your team to not accept outside work.
answered Jul 18 '16 at 21:14
user3067860
43936
Don't let (any) outside people go directly to your team. It puts your team in a very awkward spot anyway. Examples: Say you have assigned Task A. Someone else comes along and gives Task B. Now your employee has to choose... Do they finish A with a slow turnaround on B, do they drop A to do B first?
Instead, all requests to your team come to you and you manage the work by prioritizing and assigning. Then if something (anything) is taking too long or not done satisfactorily, you go around and ask why. At that point it's not a task for some outside manager that they're not doing properly, it is a task for you.
There are lots of ways to make this work, but a good starting point for the type of IT team that gets a lot of small outside requests is to use a ticket tracker with a Kanban board.
You will probably need frequent reminders at first, insisting that outside people are not to go directly to your team and also reminding your team to not accept outside work.
answered Jul 18 '16 at 21:14
user3067860
43936
answered Jul 18 '16 at 21:14
user3067860
43936
answered Jul 18 '16 at 21:14
user3067860
43936
answered Jul 18 '16 at 21:14
user3067860
43936
43936
1
Yes micromanage and remove opportunities for learning, completely.
– AthomSfere
Jul 18 '16 at 22:43
I'm unsure why this is getting downvoted? It's solid advice. A manager should not go to another manager's workers and make requests or demands then go complain about it. It sounds very unprofessional and causes the workers to be in a bad position because they're always wrong and worry about being "told on."
– Dan
Jul 19 '16 at 19:24
suggest improvements |Â
1
Yes micromanage and remove opportunities for learning, completely.
– AthomSfere
Jul 18 '16 at 22:43
I'm unsure why this is getting downvoted? It's solid advice. A manager should not go to another manager's workers and make requests or demands then go complain about it. It sounds very unprofessional and causes the workers to be in a bad position because they're always wrong and worry about being "told on."
– Dan
Jul 19 '16 at 19:24
1
1
Yes micromanage and remove opportunities for learning, completely.
– AthomSfere
Jul 18 '16 at 22:43
Yes micromanage and remove opportunities for learning, completely.
– AthomSfere
Jul 18 '16 at 22:43
I'm unsure why this is getting downvoted? It's solid advice. A manager should not go to another manager's workers and make requests or demands then go complain about it. It sounds very unprofessional and causes the workers to be in a bad position because they're always wrong and worry about being "told on."
– Dan
Jul 19 '16 at 19:24
I'm unsure why this is getting downvoted? It's solid advice. A manager should not go to another manager's workers and make requests or demands then go complain about it. It sounds very unprofessional and causes the workers to be in a bad position because they're always wrong and worry about being "told on."
– Dan
Jul 19 '16 at 19:24
suggest improvements |Â
5
Is your partner the only one that is complaining? If not, then I don't see a problem. You will have a list of complaints from multiple people that you can use to train the team members.
– Laconic Droid
Jul 18 '16 at 13:50
Have you gotten any push back from your team when you mention the problems she has had?
– JasonJ
Jul 18 '16 at 13:55
2
Well if they make shitty answers you can just Point that out, shouldnt matter if it was your wife or not. Worst case just spit up the Archive and tell X to explain mail Y. When he gives you a proper answer tell X why he didnt give that Response instead :)
– Raoul Mensink
Jul 18 '16 at 14:01
Do other people approach your team for help?
– corsiKa
Jul 18 '16 at 16:13
2
This sounds like a question about balancing or prioritising between personal and professional commitments/responsibilities. The title suggests the OP has already made a decision of favouring personal over professional.
– kwah
Jul 18 '16 at 19:33