Iyfjky

Question

Fair warning - just rewatched Bill & Ted, so this is going to be a bit crazy.

Imagine for a moment there exists a world where Ã¢Â€ÂœawesomenessÃ¢Â€Â is a true force of nature.

Awesome people have the ability to perform awesome magic by channeling their inner awesomeness to their target. This may be used both offensively (a monster might be hit with such a pure wave of awesomeness it becomes a fez. why a fez? because fezzes are cool) and defensively (wouldn't you consider it awesome where the dragon flame that's about to burn you suddenly becomes a river of candy?).

Naturally the more awesome someone is the more awesome their magic power is. Almost everyone has a little bit awesome in them, but not dave (lowercase d because he's so boring that even his name lacks any strength of character). dave is so boring and plain that he sucks the awesome out of everything and everyone near him just by being there to the level no awesome magic can happen near him.

The question

Why would a group of awesome magicians keep dave near them during their D&D-style adventures? Not just sorta be OK with him making their magic fail but actively want him around? It can't be that he's cool and fun to be around because that would mean he has some awesomeness in him, which is clearly false.

In light of the Bill and Ted. What kind of awesome person would be prejudice against someone just becasue they were not yet awesome, true awesomeness is a welcoming awesomeness. As someone who is awesome they must BE awesome and being awesome means being awesome to other people, even those who are not awesome, so as encourage them to become awesome someday. Its not dave's choice to not be awesome so an awesome person could not mistreat him for it. That would not be awesome. — Sep 2 at 23:48
Maybe Dave has the keys to his Mom's minivan so all these awesome wizard kids can get to their awesome D&D style adventure? — Sep 3 at 1:40
The river of candy is actually still terrifying but I think I get what you mean. — Sep 3 at 10:34
You've basically just described the premise of Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann... the people in there aren't wizards as such, but they are fueled by awesomeness-force and given what they can do with it they might as well be wizards. There are characters in there who have trouble giving in to their inner awesome (but are extremely powerful once pushed to that point) and there are some others who were specifically created without the ability to be awesome (and either roll with it or rebel against it). — Sep 3 at 12:32

Tim B II 20.8k44490 · Answer 1 · 2018-09-02 23:46:38Z

I've got a slightly different take on this; awesomeness isn't really awesomeness unless someone who's observing is... well, in awe of what they're seeing.

Dave is a catalyst; pure and simple. Without dave in the troop, their acts are awesome, but to each other they're just... Normal. Almost like dave. They can all do as much 'awesome' as each other, so compared to each other, they're just plain.

Compared to dave however, they're (you guessed it) awesome.

This is why they need dave specifically; dave is SO plain, that to him even the simplest piece of awesomeness is awesome, meaning that he acts as an amplifier to this magic. Without dave observing and being constantly in awe of them, their magic is reliant on external observations, which is going to be patchy at best. If they're performing in front of other seasoned magicians, their awesomeness is reduced by virtue of the fact that the expectations are higher.

So, dave is a critical part of their magic because when you get right down to it, awesomeness is something that is generated by the observation and comparison of external parties and let's face it; you could swat a fly and dave would be in awe.

This is a simple and great explanation. If everybody is awesome, nobody is. — Sep 3 at 7:19
I'd say this is the answer for me. Awesomeness is subjective and needs an audience to be effective, which is why you need a wide-eyed everyman like Dave to go "whoa dude!" whenever anything happens. However per the question itself, Dave is Anti-magic. not just Mundane. so this isn't exactly the right answer. — Sep 3 at 9:18
I think you could hand-wave some "quantum" into this pretty easily. — Sep 3 at 11:41
@OttoAbnormalverbraucher That sounds super-villainish to me. Are you sure you didn't once consider going around with a big "BS" emblazoned on your clothing? — Sep 3 at 16:48
@Pilchard123 That's just the nature of things. If everything is awesome, awesome is normality and normal is never awesome. Normal is the average, no matter the position of the normal-level, if everyone is closer to it, everyone becomes normal. Tall/small would become normal size, beautiful/ugly would become normal looking, fast/slow would become normal speed. Most adjectives only work comparing the described object to others. Paint your house in a light grey color, you'd say it's bright, but if everything around it was flashy white (like, toothpaste ad white) your house would suddenly be dark. — Sep 5 at 7:27

James McLellan 4,7841429 · Answer 2 · 2018-09-02 23:20:23Z

dave is Family

Maybe something boring like a step-nephew. dave is family for several of the awesome magicians, maybe most of the party. dave really wants to be here. And, dissing family is NOT Awesome. So...

dave has Always Been There

Everyone has their awkward childhood. Before the magicians were awesome, dave was with them. As kids, they played together on great adventures (dave usually played the imprisoned prince/princess, a role he never complained about). After the magicians were awesome, dave has been with them the whole way. Maybe they hope they can help dave find his awesomeness, taking him out on adventures despite the extra danger that creates. Maybe dave is beyond hope, but he's still there, and they can't bring themselves to break up the band.

dave is Reliable

When you leave dave to cook, the magicians can rely on him not being approached by a strange wizard with a magic ring, or a time-travelling phone booth arriving containing an old man telling dave that only he can save the future. When the magicians get back from their adventures, dave will be at camp, with a meal prepared and their stuff looked after.

I really like the narrative implications of the Reliable characteristic. There can be all these crazy magical happenings going around, but dave will always be the boring, reliable bastion of calm in it all. — Sep 2 at 23:57
But being unreliable is awful. In contrast that means that being reliable is a kind of awesome, which dave cannot be ... or can he? — Sep 3 at 7:07
Now I've got a picture of a strange wizard with a magic ring appearing out of a swirling vortex of arcane energies in the middle of the camp, and dave nodding "Hello" and offering them a cup of kava. He's been around awesomeness for so long, he's completely blaze about it. — Sep 3 at 8:11

score 46 · Answer 3 · 2018-09-03 15:17:02Z

dave's a good cloaking device

The problem with being so super awesome is that you emit very distinctive waves of awesomeness, which makes it easy for the Government and other dullards to find you and ruin everything. The easiest way to cover up your signal is to bring along someone who emits the oppositely phased wave of dullness, thus canceling out your distinct awesomeness pattern.

In other words:

wubba lubba dub dub!

Since the proposal is that awesomeness itself is a force, it would be easy enough to say that "canceling out your awesomeness pattern" inherently implies interference with utilizing that awesomeness. You could even work in some local deviation if you don't want total cancellation near dave: there are higher moments in the wave functions that aren't canceled perfectly locally, but at long range these (exponentially) decay and leave a nicely canceled wave on what's left. Long range invisibility at the cost of a bit of interference. Not a bad price to pay if your enemies are threatening or annoying enough.

difference being that a cloaking device doesn't actually take away your awesomeness. To use your example: Hard to imagine Rick would take Morty with him if it would take away his intelligence. — Sep 3 at 7:52
@Mark Since the proposal is that awesomeness itself is a force, it would be easy enough to say that "canceling out your awesomeness pattern" inherently implies interference with utilizing that awesomeness. You could even work in some local deviation: there are higher moments in the wave functions that aren't canceled perfectly locally, but at long range these (exponentially) decay and leave a nicely canceled wave on what's left. Long range invisibility at the cost of a bit of interference. Which is basically what Rick wants: Morty gets in the way a lot, but the other benefits are worth it. — Sep 3 at 8:33

score 44 · Answer 4 · 2018-09-05 17:05:37Z

Awesome people have the ability to perform awesome magic due to channeling their inner awesomeness to their target, this may be both offensive (a monster might be hit with such a pure wave of awesomeness it becomes a fez, why a fez? because fezzes are cool) and defensively (wouldn't you consider it awesome where the dragon flame that's about to burn you suddenly becomes a river of candy?).

Well, boring people people have the ability to perform boring magic due to channeling their inner boringness to their target, this may be both offensive (a monster might be hit with such a pure wave of boringness it falls asleep) and defensively (wouldn't you consider it boring where the dragon flame that's about to burn you suddenly becomes a wave of chamomile tea (thanks @algiogia, a blackboard with a bunch of math, or a pile of papers on a random boring subject?) I mean, you stop seeing the awesome dragon fire and instead become tired/bored just by looking at the blackboard. This would make your awesome magic/dragonfire become less powerful

Of course, Dave does not have control of this boringness, it just pours out of him, so the awesome magicians cover him in a blanket so no one can see or hear him, then throw him at the monsters using their awesome magic.

A blackboard with a bunch of math isn't boring to mathematicians, so be careful with how you rely on this. — Sep 5 at 15:07

score 37 · Answer 5 · 2018-09-04 09:33:41Z

dave is practical

He's really useful to have around in his own right. Left to themselves, awesome people tend to eat meals like fish fingers with custard, Dave can cook. He can put together a three course meal from things found in the woods. Dave can fix the wagon, mend a backpack, he finds washing up relaxing. It's like having your mum along on your adventures without having to have your mum along on your adventures.

dave is insurance

If one of the group goes off the rails and needs to be suppressed, Dave is there to get things quickly under control without it turning into all out magical war.

but more importantly

Being awesome all the time is exhausting

When they go back to camp they want to relax without unexpected magical outcomes. Dave's ability to suppress magic allows them to drop their guard and unwind without consequences. Dave's aura of sheer unadulterated boring means that nothing exciting at all happens around him. The camp is never attacked, they're never ambushed while travelling, they never get lost, it never even rains too hard. All that would be too exciting to happen around Dave.

While Dave derives quiet pleasure from a walk in the country. Adventurers actively seek out his company during a hard campaign to allow a few hours or days to recover.

Then, the one time dave goes to take a whiz, the entire camp gets infiltrated by assassins... but then he comes back, and they find themselves inexplicably sitting around the campfire, listening to dave tell an uninteresting anecdote about a chipmunk he saw as they all listen politely. They leave a few minutes before the heroes arrive, not out of boredom, but because they all simultaneously remembered that they have a very pressing appointment... uh, somewhere else. And soon. Just can't stay around, you know? dave is sad, but oh well, it happens. — Sep 4 at 22:41
Yes omfg the last point you make "they want to relax without unexpected magical outcomes " is by far my favourite answer. So reasonable and "obvious" once it's been pointed out — Sep 5 at 15:27
+1 Dave is protection from awesomeness was the answer I was going to leave. — Sep 5 at 18:57
I dunno... "He can put together a three course meal from things found in the woods"--I think that's totally awesome. — 2 days ago
@WendyG but so uncool to be with when you're at the age of things being "awesome!" ;) — 14 hours ago

Dan W 1,51539 · Answer 6 · 2018-09-02 21:48:54Z

Because he can absorb or dispel attacks from other awesomeness powered magic?

Because often their magic goes out of control and Dave stops that? Or perhaps awesome magic leaks out unintentionally and Dave prevents it. Perhaps thereÃ¢Â€Â™s a risk of accidentally performing magic whilst theyÃ¢Â€Â™re asleep if they have an awesome dream, and so for safety powerful awesome magicians need to keep a Dave around at night?

Magic is awesome. What else is awesome? Nuclear reactors. And these have their own bunch of daves for when their awesomeness runs out of hand. Just ask the citizens of Pripyat'. — Sep 3 at 1:41

X-27 1,00521224 · Answer 7 · 2018-09-03 03:41:27Z

dave's boringness can be used to counteract dangerous magic.

In most combat scenarios, dave is an irreplaceable asset for the party. While the awesome magicians can channel their awesomeness into al sorts of useful magic, they also face the danger of dark wizards channeling their evil awesomeness and threatening the entire party.

However, dave is so incredibly boring, that any dark magic that the wizard tries to conjure up (using his awesomeness) is completely absorbed by dave's utter boringness. All dave has to do is step out in front of the party when they face a magical type of danger, and his incomprehensible lameness actually becomes very useful. Basically, dave is a powerful shield that counteracts any awesomeness-fueled offensive magic which comes near. When it comes time for the party of awesome magicians to use their power to clear away a blockade or eliminate a threat, dave simply needs to fall behind to the back of the party.

I was about to post the same thing - dave would not just stop awesomeness from happening, but also stop 'totally bogus' magic. If removing the 'totally bogus' magic is of more benefit than having the 'awesomeness' around, it would pay dividends to keep him around/ — Sep 6 at 16:06

SRM 13.8k22571 · Answer 8 · 2018-09-02 21:24:48Z

FOMO

Awesomeness is awesome when youÃ¢Â€Â™re ready to party, but when you want to sleep, you want a bit less excitement. Maybe these boss-level magicians are so awesome that random cool stuff happens while they sleep. Imagine the fear-of-missing-out that these beings would suffer: they sleep through being attacked by a dragon whose breath weapon turns into a candy flow... and when they wake up, all they know is something really neat happened, but they didnÃ¢Â€Â™t see it! So they keep dave around. Now their nights are perfectly normal. When they need magic, they have dave put up a billboard advertising just how awesome dave is as a magic dampener, which is enough external excitement to prevent him from dampening anything other than himself (which is even more pathetic, if you think about it). At end of day, take down the advertisement.

JGreenwell 51119 · Answer 9 · 2018-09-02 23:48:46Z

Because the awesome magicians are not "that awesome"

Or, our heroes know they have weaker magic then their enemies so they plan for it. Imagine this in D&D terms: You are going to fight a high-level boss or party. They are awesome, buffed and ready to grind you into the dirt. What is your first move?

Dispel their magic

So our hero's use this trick in two ways:

Send in dave first.

So you have a dungeon filled with giant acid spewing lizards, huge deadly spiders, and horrible orcs? dave just walks through it and absorbing all the awesome magic leaves only the original tiny lizards, normal spiders, and what turned out to be cardboard cutouts. Your party now just has to walk through this now unguarded basement and do what they need to (their magic now working because dave is out of the building).

Yeah the original wizard can re-setup his magic but its going to take time and that time gives a huge advantage to our party.

Fight physically weaker enemies with dave in the active party.

You have awesome magic!!! Why work out? Why buy "real" weapons? You can buy this cool plastic replica sword and cast your magic to make it a +7 Vorpal Blade and buff yourself to Olympian strength and flexibility.....Except dave is here and now you are an out of shape guy, holding a piece of plastic. While our party is carrying their ordinary steel knives, swords, crossbows & wearing real armor.

As long as dave is there you can't rebuff and our heroes have a pretty decent advantage :)

Welcome and have a +1. This was the answer I was going to leave here... If the party trains to be physically awesome without having to rely on their awesomeness, dave becomes their trump card in battle by cancelling out everyones awesomeness. — Sep 5 at 19:01

Cort Ammon 98.8k15176352 · Answer 10 · 2018-09-03 03:35:11Z

Dave reminds you what it means to just be alive

An awesome world is great, but it's so easy to get saturated. I mean, when the world is so awesome that bow ties are cool, pretty much everything starts to look the same -- awesome.

Enter Dave. Around Dave, you have to fight for survival. A 50 foot cliff? No problem, I'll just featherfall down, or turn the ground into golems to carry me down. Oh, I'm with Dave? Oh. This 50 foot cliff is actually 50 feet. There might not be a way out of this. There's nothing like jumping out of a perfectly good airplane to remind you how much you appreciate your parachute!

"Stop and smell the roses" they say. Well, when you can channel a field of them without even trying, frankly, they stop smelling so sweet. But picture this. Your rations are running low. You just narrowly avoided death at the hands of the dreaded ice kobolds. You're running on awesomeness and prayers, and that awesomeness isn't there for you. Then, you see a rose bush. Just one. A wild rosebush. No magic there. This is the real thing. This is worth stopping for.

You may have seen Penn and Teller's Fool Us show. It's a great show, but the show misses out on something important. Each time, before the show, Penn and Teller explain why they're doing the show. (Okay, fine. Penn explains it. Teller looks emphatic.)

Penn explains that he got into magic when he was just 5 years old. There was a certain sparkle that magic had for him. Something truly wondrous. Well after several decades in the business, they've seen pretty much every magic trick out there, and they know how they are all done. And somewhere along the way, the awesomeness went away.

So they do this show, hoping that one act will spark that five year old's wonder that they are missing. That's why they keep doing it. And, every now and then, they actually got the wish.

EvilSnack 1,09827 · Answer 11 · 2018-09-03 13:57:31Z

If I were Superman, I would want to know where every gram of Kryptonite in the whole universe was, to avoid unpleasant surprises.

In a like manner, if you leave Dave at home because he's too much of a bummer, then when you go up against the Big Kahuna you run the risk of finding that the BK has turned Dave against you in some way.

score 6 · Answer 12 · 2018-09-03 05:15:29Z

Fezpocalypse

Without dave around to buffer the effects of all that awesomeness floating around a single party, the awesomeness would bounce off and multiply against everyone else's awesomeness and cause an awesomeness feedback loop that could turn everything all around into fezzes. All the trees, buildings, people, as far as the eye can see. Nothing but fezzes. Mountains in the distance would turn into great big fezzes in the distance. Clouds would turn into fezzes and come falling down to the ground. Maybe even the earth would turn into a tremendous fez and the party would find themselves standing on a completely featureless flat red surface.

Or the party turns to fezzes too, except dave, the last surviving non-fez.

youtube.com/watch?v=obnblNruPiU
â€“Â The Great Duck
Sep 5 at 1:23 — Sep 5 at 1:23

Chris Sunami 49627 · Answer 13 · 2018-09-03 17:10:12Z

The wizards inexplicably idolize Dave: This may not seem like the most obvious, plausible, or clever reason, but in light of your story, I think it's by far the funniest option.

The wizards know Dave is bad for them, and any objective, third-person observer can tell them that Dave is a complete wet blanket, with no discernible redeeming qualities, but every single wizard thinks he's the coolest thing ever. They hang on his every word, they laugh at all his horribly unfunny jokes, they take his banal opinions as golden proclamations, and they all want to hang out with him all the time, even though they know they shouldn't

For maximum comedy, Dave should barely tolerate the wizards, even though they are the most awesome people in the universe, and he's a boring, obnoxious pain.

bukwyrm 2,439415 · Answer 14 · 2018-09-05 15:45:54Z

Left to his own devices, dave go into a runaway negative-awesomeness feedback loop, finally collapsing into an de-awesomeness singularity. While this would be awesome to watch, it would also, by it's nature, be able to fit any awesomeness inside, for a net zero awesomness. So, not awesome.

The wizards are saving the world by socialising with dave - which makes them awesome.

A very elegant solution, one of more original and creative from all those suggested here :) — 2 days ago

score 3 · Answer 15 · 2018-09-08 00:44:08Z

Anything related to a prison or prisoners.

Obviously dave would make a great prison guard as the prisoner wouldn't be able to use magic to escape.

Prisoner transport, again the prisoner can't use magic and anyone who would try to aid them from escaping couldn't use magic.

Quarreling wizards who hate, dislike, or etc each other. Boom wizard 1 can no longer turn wizard 2 into a toad because of some offense real or imagined.

What if your a wizard who has nightmares and starts casting spells in your sleep. You and all the members of your party would definitely want this anti-magic person.

Medical core would want one in case a wizard start hallucinating and trying to cast spells against things that aren't real. An anti-magic person would be a real boon in a mental ward to prevent wizards with Alzheimer's and other disease of the brain.

Joseph Devlin 211 · Answer 16 · 2018-09-02 21:51:57Z

Having Dave around would allow them to pass as non awesome people for purposes of deception to potentially hide how strong they are or to sneak into a place protected from awesome people.

aslum 4,4771226 · Answer 17 · 2018-09-04 13:04:24Z

They want to find dave's Hidden Awesome

As the first non-awesome person anyone's ever met, they're all convinced he has some secret reserve of awesome, and once the right awesome events happens to (or maybe just near) him his awesome powers will reveal themselves.

Be Awesome to each other

Additionally, part of being an Awesome Magician is being awesome to everyone, including those who (unintentionally in dave's case) harsh your awesome. These wizards have banded together to help prevent the ostracization dave has suffered at the hands of the only "slightly awesome, but not woke awesome" regular populace.

OldTinfoil 1213 · Answer 18 · 2018-09-06 14:53:25Z

`dave` is an obligation.

In other realms, a wizard may be tasked with raising a young prince for their duties as the one true King, but one of your awesome wizards has been lumped with the task of protecting the dave.

If any evil ever befalls dave, there are catastrophic consequences (such as all fezzes becoming "kiss me quick" hats).

score 1 · Answer 19 · 2018-09-04 14:11:07Z

dave doesn't negate their power, he causes it

How about dave is antimatter? as in, he doesn't sap the awesome magic, but is, in fact, the negative counterpart of the awesome magic. IE, the existence and proximity of dave is exactly what causes the awesome magic. Kind of like two magnets next to each other. Snap them onto each other, nothing much happens. Pull them too far apart, nothing much happens. However, keep them juuuuuust close enough, but yet juuuust far enough apart and all sorts of fun things happen...

Azrantha 313 · Answer 20 · 2018-09-05 15:26:15Z

As defence from other awesome magicians

There are awesome people in the world. But awesomeness is relative. They may be awesome, but these guys who hang out with dave are more awesome, which makes the other magicians less awesome. So if they could get rid of daves magician friends, they would become more awesome. But daves magician friends are more awesome, so you will have to attack them by surprise.

But then, there's dave. The ultimate shield against all awesome. No matter how many awesome magicians have tried to ambush the part, the giant meteor of rock (candy) that's meant to crush the awesome party and dave, simply ceases to exist when it gets too close to dave.

Noone quite understands this power, as a matter of fact, they think the awesome part is so awesome their awesomeness just erases all others. After all, dave is so boring his name is lower case, how could he ever possibly be awesome enough to overcome awesome magic.

Or perhaps even Dave is the one who defends the magicians, attacking the 'awesome' people who only attack with a handful of sticks etc. that they use their awesomeness to change into amazing weapons. But awesomeness doesn't work near dave, so they are suddenly defenceless, and dave simply stabs them with a real sword.

Then again, that could make dave actually quite awesome.

Spiggyman 111 · Answer 21 · 2018-09-07 16:44:25Z

They owe dave a life-debt. At some point dave saved their lives by being present during a magical event that would have killed them. Until they save dave's life, they need to keep him around so they have the opportunity to repay the debt. Of course, because most of the danger in the world is magical and dave is so boring he cancels out the awesomeness-based magic he always ends up saving himself by cancelling out the awesomeness.

score 1 · Accepted Answer · 2018-09-07 23:13:50Z

Wow didn't expect this silly little question to get so much attention... thanks for everyone, you truly are awesome.

Thought about it quite a bit and while the answer I like most was the one @John suggested at the comment section about them hanging with him do to it being the awesome thing to do I'm going to go with a different route, apologies in advance if some of you feels like I'm bending the question rules with this answer but I feel that this twist to the story is too awesome not to use (couldn't have figured it out without you).

dave isn't awesome... or is he? if he's just a catalyst for other people awesomeness or the baseline 0 awesomeness other people are measured by then that kinda makes him awesome,if he's just really reliable and always been there then that also makes him awesome.

In fact just about every reason covered by the answers given (which are all awesome don't get me wrong) also seems to make him just a little bit awesome when you think about it... awesomeness clocking device? just being named that is awesome... anti villein awesomeness secret weapon? secretly awesome... allow the awesome magicians to relax from all the awesomeness? everybody needs some downtime and giving somebody a well deserved rest is awesome... even having boring magic is awesome because since when is magic not awesome?

So if dave is somewhat awesome how can he suck the awesomeness out of everyone and everything around him? like @Tim B II suggested awesomeness is only awesome when measured on a scale of awesomeness and dave well... dave breaks that scale... he isn't drowning out the others awesomeness due to being so boring... he's secretly the most awesome thing to have ever existed and anything else ceases to be awesome near him.

Why nobody knows it about him and why everyone think he's so boring you ask? the reasons are tri-fold:

Because he's confident enough not to brag about your abilities is the awesome thing to do.

dave hiding is awesomeness is the form of playing the long game, preserving the element of surprise should the situation ever become dire enough, and planning ahead is a sign of an awesome individual.

dave is effectively allowing the other magicians to discover their inner awesomeness like @John suggested by hiding his much more powerful awesomeness and the only way he can do that is by self sacrificing (again awesome) every bit of reputation he would get had he showed it's true awesomeness.

and why lower case "d" in his name? dave gave the upper case to charity... he's so awesome he can literally give letters to charity, and being an anonymous donation his secret is still safe.

PStag 1,484715 · Answer 23 · 2018-09-03 06:26:29Z

Every one needs a boring side.

Most adventures are a lot of boring tasks. Getting the fire wood and checking the map, discussing the new government of the land you freed, allocating budgets for different adventures.... the list goes on.

It's hard to deal with practical matters when you are busy being awesome. Fixing a trailer to the sports car you purchased to hunt a dragon in the desert is not awesome, running out of supplies and having to call for help is much much less awesome.

Chieron 60057 · Answer 24 · 2018-09-03 10:23:09Z

Performing awesome feats while being slowed down by someone boring makes it more difficult, thus success would be even more awesome.
This leads to bonus awesome (XP) afterwards. Kind of metagaming..

Eric Towers 2,2741611 · Answer 25 · 2018-09-05 15:50:21Z

dave is an autonomous, continuously firing, anti-magic bomb. Whose enchantments did you want to break? dave's your guy. Whose Earth-shattering kaboom needs thwarting? dave's your guy. Inadvertently summon [redacted to preserve sanity] and need it dispelled? dave's your guy.

dave: 1001 uses.

Steve 91828 · Answer 26 · 2018-09-05 17:40:07Z

Dave is a pretty cool guy.

That and you don't want Dave to be evil. Who else is better insurance against an evil Dave than 5 awesome magicians?

shas 486 · Answer 27 · 2018-09-06 10:22:30Z

breaking friendshit isn't awsome. and if you do it just to be more awsome then you are a jerk, and there is nothing about jerk who try to be awsome that is actualy awsome

so this group of awsome mage are either to awsome to thinking about breaking up with dave, or, they are aware that they can't just dump him without just saying "you ain't awsome bro"

Beethoven 1 · Answer 28 · 2018-09-06 20:56:24Z

dave is penance

True awesomeness comes with responsibility. To preserve their humility and promote empathy all truly awesome practitioners must do penance by having their magic blunted, and do it willingly. It is the path to enlightenment (or say, the path to touring Mars with Wyld Stallyns).

The Spooniest 2,285613 · Answer 29 · 2018-09-07 18:28:19Z

Because hanging around Dave is awesome. Obviously, mages would need some way to cast magic despite Dave's anti-awesome aura: they may need to get some distance away from him, for example. But when they can use their magic, the fact of their continued association with him actually strengthens it.

So, why is hanging around Dave awesome? There are many ways you could play this. Maybe it's because it's badass to hang around with your one weakness nearby, where anyone could use it but you're confident in your ability to beat them even despite that. Maybe you hang out in the border between the awesome world and Dave's anti-awesome world, and living on the edge like that is awesome. Maybe he's just a really good friend, and you like to have him around even though his limitations sometimes cause trouble through no fault of his own, and sticking by someone like that is awesome.

The Great Duck 920411 · Answer 30 · 2018-09-09 17:58:08Z

The absolute polar opposite of awesomeness is to be a complete and utter [insert censor here].

You aren't traveling with Dave cause you like him or because he is useful. It is because it is your job. Dave is so much of a jerk and so anti-awesome that he is public enemy number one and on the top bounty lists. This isn't awesome. Being a mass murderer and burning down entire cities by intentionally leaving candles unattended just for the sake of being a jerk is not awesome. Nobody wants him around because any attempt to restrain him fails because he is such a jerk. Your band of awesome people are just bounty hunters skilled enough to risk attempting to bring him into jail for his crimes. Of course, jail isn't magical. It's just a building of bricks so in fact Dave being so not awesome makes it easy to restrain him and other prisoners. Normally when people are evil they are awesome in some capacity. They got a cool name or they have some agenda. Dave isn't like that. He is such a jerk that he doesn't do cool bad guy stuff. He doesn't want to "watch the world burn" or summon [insert unnameable abomination here]. No. Dave is just a jerk because it runs through his blood so to speak. He doesn't give a damn about anything other than himself.

And the fact that Dave is still not awesome through the whole journey only proves this further. Dave just makes you feel completely not awesome because all he does day in and day out is hurl insults at anything and anyone around him. Dave is so not awesome that a story prevails of him insulting a tree for a week straight after walking head first into it. Everyone just wants to forget Dave existed because the mere memory of him sucks the awesomeness out of you.

Tim B II 20.8k44490 · Answer 31 · 2018-09-02 23:46:38Z

I've got a slightly different take on this; awesomeness isn't really awesomeness unless someone who's observing is... well, in awe of what they're seeing.

Dave is a catalyst; pure and simple. Without dave in the troop, their acts are awesome, but to each other they're just... Normal. Almost like dave. They can all do as much 'awesome' as each other, so compared to each other, they're just plain.

Compared to dave however, they're (you guessed it) awesome.

This is why they need dave specifically; dave is SO plain, that to him even the simplest piece of awesomeness is awesome, meaning that he acts as an amplifier to this magic. Without dave observing and being constantly in awe of them, their magic is reliant on external observations, which is going to be patchy at best. If they're performing in front of other seasoned magicians, their awesomeness is reduced by virtue of the fact that the expectations are higher.

So, dave is a critical part of their magic because when you get right down to it, awesomeness is something that is generated by the observation and comparison of external parties and let's face it; you could swat a fly and dave would be in awe.

This is a simple and great explanation. If everybody is awesome, nobody is. — Sep 3 at 7:19
I'd say this is the answer for me. Awesomeness is subjective and needs an audience to be effective, which is why you need a wide-eyed everyman like Dave to go "whoa dude!" whenever anything happens. However per the question itself, Dave is Anti-magic. not just Mundane. so this isn't exactly the right answer. — Sep 3 at 9:18
I think you could hand-wave some "quantum" into this pretty easily. — Sep 3 at 11:41
@OttoAbnormalverbraucher That sounds super-villainish to me. Are you sure you didn't once consider going around with a big "BS" emblazoned on your clothing? — Sep 3 at 16:48
@Pilchard123 That's just the nature of things. If everything is awesome, awesome is normality and normal is never awesome. Normal is the average, no matter the position of the normal-level, if everyone is closer to it, everyone becomes normal. Tall/small would become normal size, beautiful/ugly would become normal looking, fast/slow would become normal speed. Most adjectives only work comparing the described object to others. Paint your house in a light grey color, you'd say it's bright, but if everything around it was flashy white (like, toothpaste ad white) your house would suddenly be dark. — Sep 5 at 7:27

James McLellan 4,7841429 · Answer 32 · 2018-09-02 23:20:23Z

dave is Family

Maybe something boring like a step-nephew. dave is family for several of the awesome magicians, maybe most of the party. dave really wants to be here. And, dissing family is NOT Awesome. So...

dave has Always Been There

Everyone has their awkward childhood. Before the magicians were awesome, dave was with them. As kids, they played together on great adventures (dave usually played the imprisoned prince/princess, a role he never complained about). After the magicians were awesome, dave has been with them the whole way. Maybe they hope they can help dave find his awesomeness, taking him out on adventures despite the extra danger that creates. Maybe dave is beyond hope, but he's still there, and they can't bring themselves to break up the band.

dave is Reliable

When you leave dave to cook, the magicians can rely on him not being approached by a strange wizard with a magic ring, or a time-travelling phone booth arriving containing an old man telling dave that only he can save the future. When the magicians get back from their adventures, dave will be at camp, with a meal prepared and their stuff looked after.

I really like the narrative implications of the Reliable characteristic. There can be all these crazy magical happenings going around, but dave will always be the boring, reliable bastion of calm in it all. — Sep 2 at 23:57
But being unreliable is awful. In contrast that means that being reliable is a kind of awesome, which dave cannot be ... or can he? — Sep 3 at 7:07
Now I've got a picture of a strange wizard with a magic ring appearing out of a swirling vortex of arcane energies in the middle of the camp, and dave nodding "Hello" and offering them a cup of kava. He's been around awesomeness for so long, he's completely blaze about it. — Sep 3 at 8:11

score 46 · Answer 33 · 2018-09-03 15:17:02Z

dave's a good cloaking device

The problem with being so super awesome is that you emit very distinctive waves of awesomeness, which makes it easy for the Government and other dullards to find you and ruin everything. The easiest way to cover up your signal is to bring along someone who emits the oppositely phased wave of dullness, thus canceling out your distinct awesomeness pattern.

In other words:

wubba lubba dub dub!

Since the proposal is that awesomeness itself is a force, it would be easy enough to say that "canceling out your awesomeness pattern" inherently implies interference with utilizing that awesomeness. You could even work in some local deviation if you don't want total cancellation near dave: there are higher moments in the wave functions that aren't canceled perfectly locally, but at long range these (exponentially) decay and leave a nicely canceled wave on what's left. Long range invisibility at the cost of a bit of interference. Not a bad price to pay if your enemies are threatening or annoying enough.

difference being that a cloaking device doesn't actually take away your awesomeness. To use your example: Hard to imagine Rick would take Morty with him if it would take away his intelligence. — Sep 3 at 7:52
@Mark Since the proposal is that awesomeness itself is a force, it would be easy enough to say that "canceling out your awesomeness pattern" inherently implies interference with utilizing that awesomeness. You could even work in some local deviation: there are higher moments in the wave functions that aren't canceled perfectly locally, but at long range these (exponentially) decay and leave a nicely canceled wave on what's left. Long range invisibility at the cost of a bit of interference. Which is basically what Rick wants: Morty gets in the way a lot, but the other benefits are worth it. — Sep 3 at 8:33

score 44 · Answer 34 · 2018-09-05 17:05:37Z

Awesome people have the ability to perform awesome magic due to channeling their inner awesomeness to their target, this may be both offensive (a monster might be hit with such a pure wave of awesomeness it becomes a fez, why a fez? because fezzes are cool) and defensively (wouldn't you consider it awesome where the dragon flame that's about to burn you suddenly becomes a river of candy?).

Well, boring people people have the ability to perform boring magic due to channeling their inner boringness to their target, this may be both offensive (a monster might be hit with such a pure wave of boringness it falls asleep) and defensively (wouldn't you consider it boring where the dragon flame that's about to burn you suddenly becomes a wave of chamomile tea (thanks @algiogia, a blackboard with a bunch of math, or a pile of papers on a random boring subject?) I mean, you stop seeing the awesome dragon fire and instead become tired/bored just by looking at the blackboard. This would make your awesome magic/dragonfire become less powerful

Of course, Dave does not have control of this boringness, it just pours out of him, so the awesome magicians cover him in a blanket so no one can see or hear him, then throw him at the monsters using their awesome magic.

A blackboard with a bunch of math isn't boring to mathematicians, so be careful with how you rely on this. — Sep 5 at 15:07

score 37 · Answer 35 · 2018-09-04 09:33:41Z

dave is practical

He's really useful to have around in his own right. Left to themselves, awesome people tend to eat meals like fish fingers with custard, Dave can cook. He can put together a three course meal from things found in the woods. Dave can fix the wagon, mend a backpack, he finds washing up relaxing. It's like having your mum along on your adventures without having to have your mum along on your adventures.

dave is insurance

If one of the group goes off the rails and needs to be suppressed, Dave is there to get things quickly under control without it turning into all out magical war.

but more importantly

Being awesome all the time is exhausting

When they go back to camp they want to relax without unexpected magical outcomes. Dave's ability to suppress magic allows them to drop their guard and unwind without consequences. Dave's aura of sheer unadulterated boring means that nothing exciting at all happens around him. The camp is never attacked, they're never ambushed while travelling, they never get lost, it never even rains too hard. All that would be too exciting to happen around Dave.

While Dave derives quiet pleasure from a walk in the country. Adventurers actively seek out his company during a hard campaign to allow a few hours or days to recover.

Then, the one time dave goes to take a whiz, the entire camp gets infiltrated by assassins... but then he comes back, and they find themselves inexplicably sitting around the campfire, listening to dave tell an uninteresting anecdote about a chipmunk he saw as they all listen politely. They leave a few minutes before the heroes arrive, not out of boredom, but because they all simultaneously remembered that they have a very pressing appointment... uh, somewhere else. And soon. Just can't stay around, you know? dave is sad, but oh well, it happens. — Sep 4 at 22:41
Yes omfg the last point you make "they want to relax without unexpected magical outcomes " is by far my favourite answer. So reasonable and "obvious" once it's been pointed out — Sep 5 at 15:27
+1 Dave is protection from awesomeness was the answer I was going to leave. — Sep 5 at 18:57
I dunno... "He can put together a three course meal from things found in the woods"--I think that's totally awesome. — 2 days ago
@WendyG but so uncool to be with when you're at the age of things being "awesome!" ;) — 14 hours ago

Dan W 1,51539 · Answer 36 · 2018-09-02 21:48:54Z

Because he can absorb or dispel attacks from other awesomeness powered magic?

Because often their magic goes out of control and Dave stops that? Or perhaps awesome magic leaks out unintentionally and Dave prevents it. Perhaps thereÃ¢Â€Â™s a risk of accidentally performing magic whilst theyÃ¢Â€Â™re asleep if they have an awesome dream, and so for safety powerful awesome magicians need to keep a Dave around at night?

Magic is awesome. What else is awesome? Nuclear reactors. And these have their own bunch of daves for when their awesomeness runs out of hand. Just ask the citizens of Pripyat'. — Sep 3 at 1:41

X-27 1,00521224 · Answer 37 · 2018-09-03 03:41:27Z

dave's boringness can be used to counteract dangerous magic.

In most combat scenarios, dave is an irreplaceable asset for the party. While the awesome magicians can channel their awesomeness into al sorts of useful magic, they also face the danger of dark wizards channeling their evil awesomeness and threatening the entire party.

However, dave is so incredibly boring, that any dark magic that the wizard tries to conjure up (using his awesomeness) is completely absorbed by dave's utter boringness. All dave has to do is step out in front of the party when they face a magical type of danger, and his incomprehensible lameness actually becomes very useful. Basically, dave is a powerful shield that counteracts any awesomeness-fueled offensive magic which comes near. When it comes time for the party of awesome magicians to use their power to clear away a blockade or eliminate a threat, dave simply needs to fall behind to the back of the party.

I was about to post the same thing - dave would not just stop awesomeness from happening, but also stop 'totally bogus' magic. If removing the 'totally bogus' magic is of more benefit than having the 'awesomeness' around, it would pay dividends to keep him around/ — Sep 6 at 16:06

SRM 13.8k22571 · Answer 38 · 2018-09-02 21:24:48Z

FOMO

Awesomeness is awesome when youÃ¢Â€Â™re ready to party, but when you want to sleep, you want a bit less excitement. Maybe these boss-level magicians are so awesome that random cool stuff happens while they sleep. Imagine the fear-of-missing-out that these beings would suffer: they sleep through being attacked by a dragon whose breath weapon turns into a candy flow... and when they wake up, all they know is something really neat happened, but they didnÃ¢Â€Â™t see it! So they keep dave around. Now their nights are perfectly normal. When they need magic, they have dave put up a billboard advertising just how awesome dave is as a magic dampener, which is enough external excitement to prevent him from dampening anything other than himself (which is even more pathetic, if you think about it). At end of day, take down the advertisement.

JGreenwell 51119 · Answer 39 · 2018-09-02 23:48:46Z

Because the awesome magicians are not "that awesome"

Or, our heroes know they have weaker magic then their enemies so they plan for it. Imagine this in D&D terms: You are going to fight a high-level boss or party. They are awesome, buffed and ready to grind you into the dirt. What is your first move?

Dispel their magic

So our hero's use this trick in two ways:

Send in dave first.

So you have a dungeon filled with giant acid spewing lizards, huge deadly spiders, and horrible orcs? dave just walks through it and absorbing all the awesome magic leaves only the original tiny lizards, normal spiders, and what turned out to be cardboard cutouts. Your party now just has to walk through this now unguarded basement and do what they need to (their magic now working because dave is out of the building).

Yeah the original wizard can re-setup his magic but its going to take time and that time gives a huge advantage to our party.

Fight physically weaker enemies with dave in the active party.

You have awesome magic!!! Why work out? Why buy "real" weapons? You can buy this cool plastic replica sword and cast your magic to make it a +7 Vorpal Blade and buff yourself to Olympian strength and flexibility.....Except dave is here and now you are an out of shape guy, holding a piece of plastic. While our party is carrying their ordinary steel knives, swords, crossbows & wearing real armor.

As long as dave is there you can't rebuff and our heroes have a pretty decent advantage :)

Welcome and have a +1. This was the answer I was going to leave here... If the party trains to be physically awesome without having to rely on their awesomeness, dave becomes their trump card in battle by cancelling out everyones awesomeness. — Sep 5 at 19:01

Cort Ammon 98.8k15176352 · Answer 40 · 2018-09-03 03:35:11Z

Dave reminds you what it means to just be alive

An awesome world is great, but it's so easy to get saturated. I mean, when the world is so awesome that bow ties are cool, pretty much everything starts to look the same -- awesome.

Enter Dave. Around Dave, you have to fight for survival. A 50 foot cliff? No problem, I'll just featherfall down, or turn the ground into golems to carry me down. Oh, I'm with Dave? Oh. This 50 foot cliff is actually 50 feet. There might not be a way out of this. There's nothing like jumping out of a perfectly good airplane to remind you how much you appreciate your parachute!

"Stop and smell the roses" they say. Well, when you can channel a field of them without even trying, frankly, they stop smelling so sweet. But picture this. Your rations are running low. You just narrowly avoided death at the hands of the dreaded ice kobolds. You're running on awesomeness and prayers, and that awesomeness isn't there for you. Then, you see a rose bush. Just one. A wild rosebush. No magic there. This is the real thing. This is worth stopping for.

You may have seen Penn and Teller's Fool Us show. It's a great show, but the show misses out on something important. Each time, before the show, Penn and Teller explain why they're doing the show. (Okay, fine. Penn explains it. Teller looks emphatic.)

Penn explains that he got into magic when he was just 5 years old. There was a certain sparkle that magic had for him. Something truly wondrous. Well after several decades in the business, they've seen pretty much every magic trick out there, and they know how they are all done. And somewhere along the way, the awesomeness went away.

So they do this show, hoping that one act will spark that five year old's wonder that they are missing. That's why they keep doing it. And, every now and then, they actually got the wish.

EvilSnack 1,09827 · Answer 41 · 2018-09-03 13:57:31Z

If I were Superman, I would want to know where every gram of Kryptonite in the whole universe was, to avoid unpleasant surprises.

In a like manner, if you leave Dave at home because he's too much of a bummer, then when you go up against the Big Kahuna you run the risk of finding that the BK has turned Dave against you in some way.

score 6 · Answer 42 · 2018-09-03 05:15:29Z

Fezpocalypse

Without dave around to buffer the effects of all that awesomeness floating around a single party, the awesomeness would bounce off and multiply against everyone else's awesomeness and cause an awesomeness feedback loop that could turn everything all around into fezzes. All the trees, buildings, people, as far as the eye can see. Nothing but fezzes. Mountains in the distance would turn into great big fezzes in the distance. Clouds would turn into fezzes and come falling down to the ground. Maybe even the earth would turn into a tremendous fez and the party would find themselves standing on a completely featureless flat red surface.

Or the party turns to fezzes too, except dave, the last surviving non-fez.

youtube.com/watch?v=obnblNruPiU
â€“Â The Great Duck
Sep 5 at 1:23 — Sep 5 at 1:23

Chris Sunami 49627 · Answer 43 · 2018-09-03 17:10:12Z

The wizards inexplicably idolize Dave: This may not seem like the most obvious, plausible, or clever reason, but in light of your story, I think it's by far the funniest option.

The wizards know Dave is bad for them, and any objective, third-person observer can tell them that Dave is a complete wet blanket, with no discernible redeeming qualities, but every single wizard thinks he's the coolest thing ever. They hang on his every word, they laugh at all his horribly unfunny jokes, they take his banal opinions as golden proclamations, and they all want to hang out with him all the time, even though they know they shouldn't

For maximum comedy, Dave should barely tolerate the wizards, even though they are the most awesome people in the universe, and he's a boring, obnoxious pain.

bukwyrm 2,439415 · Answer 44 · 2018-09-05 15:45:54Z

Left to his own devices, dave go into a runaway negative-awesomeness feedback loop, finally collapsing into an de-awesomeness singularity. While this would be awesome to watch, it would also, by it's nature, be able to fit any awesomeness inside, for a net zero awesomness. So, not awesome.

The wizards are saving the world by socialising with dave - which makes them awesome.

A very elegant solution, one of more original and creative from all those suggested here :) — 2 days ago

score 3 · Answer 45 · 2018-09-08 00:44:08Z

Anything related to a prison or prisoners.

Obviously dave would make a great prison guard as the prisoner wouldn't be able to use magic to escape.

Prisoner transport, again the prisoner can't use magic and anyone who would try to aid them from escaping couldn't use magic.

Quarreling wizards who hate, dislike, or etc each other. Boom wizard 1 can no longer turn wizard 2 into a toad because of some offense real or imagined.

What if your a wizard who has nightmares and starts casting spells in your sleep. You and all the members of your party would definitely want this anti-magic person.

Medical core would want one in case a wizard start hallucinating and trying to cast spells against things that aren't real. An anti-magic person would be a real boon in a mental ward to prevent wizards with Alzheimer's and other disease of the brain.

Joseph Devlin 211 · Answer 46 · 2018-09-02 21:51:57Z

Having Dave around would allow them to pass as non awesome people for purposes of deception to potentially hide how strong they are or to sneak into a place protected from awesome people.

aslum 4,4771226 · Answer 47 · 2018-09-04 13:04:24Z

They want to find dave's Hidden Awesome

As the first non-awesome person anyone's ever met, they're all convinced he has some secret reserve of awesome, and once the right awesome events happens to (or maybe just near) him his awesome powers will reveal themselves.

Be Awesome to each other

Additionally, part of being an Awesome Magician is being awesome to everyone, including those who (unintentionally in dave's case) harsh your awesome. These wizards have banded together to help prevent the ostracization dave has suffered at the hands of the only "slightly awesome, but not woke awesome" regular populace.

OldTinfoil 1213 · Answer 48 · 2018-09-06 14:53:25Z

`dave` is an obligation.

In other realms, a wizard may be tasked with raising a young prince for their duties as the one true King, but one of your awesome wizards has been lumped with the task of protecting the dave.

If any evil ever befalls dave, there are catastrophic consequences (such as all fezzes becoming "kiss me quick" hats).

score 1 · Answer 49 · 2018-09-04 14:11:07Z

dave doesn't negate their power, he causes it

How about dave is antimatter? as in, he doesn't sap the awesome magic, but is, in fact, the negative counterpart of the awesome magic. IE, the existence and proximity of dave is exactly what causes the awesome magic. Kind of like two magnets next to each other. Snap them onto each other, nothing much happens. Pull them too far apart, nothing much happens. However, keep them juuuuuust close enough, but yet juuuust far enough apart and all sorts of fun things happen...

Azrantha 313 · Answer 50 · 2018-09-05 15:26:15Z

As defence from other awesome magicians

There are awesome people in the world. But awesomeness is relative. They may be awesome, but these guys who hang out with dave are more awesome, which makes the other magicians less awesome. So if they could get rid of daves magician friends, they would become more awesome. But daves magician friends are more awesome, so you will have to attack them by surprise.

But then, there's dave. The ultimate shield against all awesome. No matter how many awesome magicians have tried to ambush the part, the giant meteor of rock (candy) that's meant to crush the awesome party and dave, simply ceases to exist when it gets too close to dave.

Noone quite understands this power, as a matter of fact, they think the awesome part is so awesome their awesomeness just erases all others. After all, dave is so boring his name is lower case, how could he ever possibly be awesome enough to overcome awesome magic.

Or perhaps even Dave is the one who defends the magicians, attacking the 'awesome' people who only attack with a handful of sticks etc. that they use their awesomeness to change into amazing weapons. But awesomeness doesn't work near dave, so they are suddenly defenceless, and dave simply stabs them with a real sword.

Then again, that could make dave actually quite awesome.

Spiggyman 111 · Answer 51 · 2018-09-07 16:44:25Z

They owe dave a life-debt. At some point dave saved their lives by being present during a magical event that would have killed them. Until they save dave's life, they need to keep him around so they have the opportunity to repay the debt. Of course, because most of the danger in the world is magical and dave is so boring he cancels out the awesomeness-based magic he always ends up saving himself by cancelling out the awesomeness.

score 1 · Accepted Answer · 2018-09-07 23:13:50Z

Wow didn't expect this silly little question to get so much attention... thanks for everyone, you truly are awesome.

Thought about it quite a bit and while the answer I like most was the one @John suggested at the comment section about them hanging with him do to it being the awesome thing to do I'm going to go with a different route, apologies in advance if some of you feels like I'm bending the question rules with this answer but I feel that this twist to the story is too awesome not to use (couldn't have figured it out without you).

dave isn't awesome... or is he? if he's just a catalyst for other people awesomeness or the baseline 0 awesomeness other people are measured by then that kinda makes him awesome,if he's just really reliable and always been there then that also makes him awesome.

In fact just about every reason covered by the answers given (which are all awesome don't get me wrong) also seems to make him just a little bit awesome when you think about it... awesomeness clocking device? just being named that is awesome... anti villein awesomeness secret weapon? secretly awesome... allow the awesome magicians to relax from all the awesomeness? everybody needs some downtime and giving somebody a well deserved rest is awesome... even having boring magic is awesome because since when is magic not awesome?

So if dave is somewhat awesome how can he suck the awesomeness out of everyone and everything around him? like @Tim B II suggested awesomeness is only awesome when measured on a scale of awesomeness and dave well... dave breaks that scale... he isn't drowning out the others awesomeness due to being so boring... he's secretly the most awesome thing to have ever existed and anything else ceases to be awesome near him.

Why nobody knows it about him and why everyone think he's so boring you ask? the reasons are tri-fold:

Because he's confident enough not to brag about your abilities is the awesome thing to do.

dave hiding is awesomeness is the form of playing the long game, preserving the element of surprise should the situation ever become dire enough, and planning ahead is a sign of an awesome individual.

dave is effectively allowing the other magicians to discover their inner awesomeness like @John suggested by hiding his much more powerful awesomeness and the only way he can do that is by self sacrificing (again awesome) every bit of reputation he would get had he showed it's true awesomeness.

and why lower case "d" in his name? dave gave the upper case to charity... he's so awesome he can literally give letters to charity, and being an anonymous donation his secret is still safe.

PStag 1,484715 · Answer 53 · 2018-09-03 06:26:29Z

Every one needs a boring side.

Most adventures are a lot of boring tasks. Getting the fire wood and checking the map, discussing the new government of the land you freed, allocating budgets for different adventures.... the list goes on.

It's hard to deal with practical matters when you are busy being awesome. Fixing a trailer to the sports car you purchased to hunt a dragon in the desert is not awesome, running out of supplies and having to call for help is much much less awesome.

Chieron 60057 · Answer 54 · 2018-09-03 10:23:09Z

Performing awesome feats while being slowed down by someone boring makes it more difficult, thus success would be even more awesome.
This leads to bonus awesome (XP) afterwards. Kind of metagaming..

Eric Towers 2,2741611 · Answer 55 · 2018-09-05 15:50:21Z

dave is an autonomous, continuously firing, anti-magic bomb. Whose enchantments did you want to break? dave's your guy. Whose Earth-shattering kaboom needs thwarting? dave's your guy. Inadvertently summon [redacted to preserve sanity] and need it dispelled? dave's your guy.

dave: 1001 uses.

Steve 91828 · Answer 56 · 2018-09-05 17:40:07Z

Dave is a pretty cool guy.

That and you don't want Dave to be evil. Who else is better insurance against an evil Dave than 5 awesome magicians?

shas 486 · Answer 57 · 2018-09-06 10:22:30Z

breaking friendshit isn't awsome. and if you do it just to be more awsome then you are a jerk, and there is nothing about jerk who try to be awsome that is actualy awsome

so this group of awsome mage are either to awsome to thinking about breaking up with dave, or, they are aware that they can't just dump him without just saying "you ain't awsome bro"

Beethoven 1 · Answer 58 · 2018-09-06 20:56:24Z

dave is penance

True awesomeness comes with responsibility. To preserve their humility and promote empathy all truly awesome practitioners must do penance by having their magic blunted, and do it willingly. It is the path to enlightenment (or say, the path to touring Mars with Wyld Stallyns).

The Spooniest 2,285613 · Answer 59 · 2018-09-07 18:28:19Z

Because hanging around Dave is awesome. Obviously, mages would need some way to cast magic despite Dave's anti-awesome aura: they may need to get some distance away from him, for example. But when they can use their magic, the fact of their continued association with him actually strengthens it.

So, why is hanging around Dave awesome? There are many ways you could play this. Maybe it's because it's badass to hang around with your one weakness nearby, where anyone could use it but you're confident in your ability to beat them even despite that. Maybe you hang out in the border between the awesome world and Dave's anti-awesome world, and living on the edge like that is awesome. Maybe he's just a really good friend, and you like to have him around even though his limitations sometimes cause trouble through no fault of his own, and sticking by someone like that is awesome.

The Great Duck 920411 · Answer 60 · 2018-09-09 17:58:08Z

The absolute polar opposite of awesomeness is to be a complete and utter [insert censor here].

You aren't traveling with Dave cause you like him or because he is useful. It is because it is your job. Dave is so much of a jerk and so anti-awesome that he is public enemy number one and on the top bounty lists. This isn't awesome. Being a mass murderer and burning down entire cities by intentionally leaving candles unattended just for the sake of being a jerk is not awesome. Nobody wants him around because any attempt to restrain him fails because he is such a jerk. Your band of awesome people are just bounty hunters skilled enough to risk attempting to bring him into jail for his crimes. Of course, jail isn't magical. It's just a building of bricks so in fact Dave being so not awesome makes it easy to restrain him and other prisoners. Normally when people are evil they are awesome in some capacity. They got a cool name or they have some agenda. Dave isn't like that. He is such a jerk that he doesn't do cool bad guy stuff. He doesn't want to "watch the world burn" or summon [insert unnameable abomination here]. No. Dave is just a jerk because it runs through his blood so to speak. He doesn't give a damn about anything other than himself.

And the fact that Dave is still not awesome through the whole journey only proves this further. Dave just makes you feel completely not awesome because all he does day in and day out is hurl insults at anything and anyone around him. Dave is so not awesome that a story prevails of him insulting a tree for a week straight after walking head first into it. Everyone just wants to forget Dave existed because the mere memory of him sucks the awesomeness out of you.

Category

Random preview

Awesomeness powered magic - why would a group of awesome magicians want to keep their â€œkryptoniteâ€ near them?

The question

The question

The question

The question

30 Answers 30

dave is Family

dave has Always Been There

dave is Reliable

dave's a good cloaking device

dave is practical

dave is insurance

Being awesome all the time is exhausting

dave's boringness can be used to counteract dangerous magic.

FOMO

Because the awesome magicians are not "that awesome"

Dave reminds you what it means to just be alive

Fezpocalypse

They want to find dave's Hidden Awesome

Be Awesome to each other

dave is an obligation.

As defence from other awesome magicians

Your Answer

Sign up or log in

Post as a guest

Post as a guest

30 Answers 30

30 Answers 30

dave is Family

dave has Always Been There

dave is Reliable

dave is Family

dave has Always Been There

dave is Reliable

dave is Family

dave has Always Been There

dave is Reliable

dave is Family

dave has Always Been There

dave is Reliable

dave's a good cloaking device

dave's a good cloaking device

dave's a good cloaking device

dave's a good cloaking device

dave is practical

dave is insurance

Being awesome all the time is exhausting

dave is practical

dave is insurance

Being awesome all the time is exhausting

dave is practical

dave is insurance

Being awesome all the time is exhausting

dave is practical

dave is insurance

Being awesome all the time is exhausting

dave's boringness can be used to counteract dangerous magic.

dave's boringness can be used to counteract dangerous magic.

dave's boringness can be used to counteract dangerous magic.

dave's boringness can be used to counteract dangerous magic.

FOMO

FOMO

FOMO

FOMO

Because the awesome magicians are not "that awesome"

Because the awesome magicians are not "that awesome"

Because the awesome magicians are not "that awesome"

Because the awesome magicians are not "that awesome"

Dave reminds you what it means to just be alive

Dave reminds you what it means to just be alive

Dave reminds you what it means to just be alive

Dave reminds you what it means to just be alive

Fezpocalypse

Fezpocalypse

Fezpocalypse

Fezpocalypse

They want to find dave's Hidden Awesome

Be Awesome to each other

Awesomeness powered magic - why would a group of awesome magicians want to keep their â€œkryptoniteâ€ near them?

30 Answers
30

`dave` is an obligation.

30 Answers
30

30 Answers
30

`dave` is an obligation.

`dave` is an obligation.

`dave` is an obligation.

`dave` is an obligation.

Long meetings (6-7 hours a day): Being â€œbabysatâ€ by supervisor