How to react to boss' question about reason for sick leave

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Assume that employee A is on sick leave. In his/her company it is normal to call in and notify about the illness ASAP.



However, it is always the case that one has to talk to the boss directly who asks about the reason for the sick leave. There is no way to force A to answer this question. A could simply refuse, and face the consequences.



Question is: What would be a good response/reaction to this question, knowing that one doesn't have to answer?



I came up with something like "I was at the doctor and he signed me off work and I'll be healthy back in a week.". But this may lead to further questions to which one isn't prepared.







share|improve this question






















  • Hi Rock and welcome to the site, I did a quick edit on your question just to make it a little easier to read. Hope you don't mind, and good luck!
    – Rhys
    Mar 26 '14 at 8:26










  • @RhysW thanks for the edit, I really like this site, followed it for a few days ;)
    – Sebastian Dressler
    Mar 26 '14 at 8:29






  • 1




    possible duplicate of How much personal information am I obligated to share with my manager?
    – IDrinkandIKnowThings
    Mar 26 '14 at 19:27






  • 2




    Unless you take FMLA leave there are none of these protections you are assuming you have. Even when you file for FMLA your manager can still ask, you just can not be fired for saying I'd rather not talk about it. You will still have to fill out the FMLA paperwork which may disclose this anyway.
    – IDrinkandIKnowThings
    Mar 26 '14 at 19:28











  • I don't think this is a duplicate of the question Chad linked. That one asks what you're required to tell them; this one asks for techniques to not answer.
    – Monica Cellio♦
    Mar 26 '14 at 21:03
















up vote
2
down vote

favorite












Assume that employee A is on sick leave. In his/her company it is normal to call in and notify about the illness ASAP.



However, it is always the case that one has to talk to the boss directly who asks about the reason for the sick leave. There is no way to force A to answer this question. A could simply refuse, and face the consequences.



Question is: What would be a good response/reaction to this question, knowing that one doesn't have to answer?



I came up with something like "I was at the doctor and he signed me off work and I'll be healthy back in a week.". But this may lead to further questions to which one isn't prepared.







share|improve this question






















  • Hi Rock and welcome to the site, I did a quick edit on your question just to make it a little easier to read. Hope you don't mind, and good luck!
    – Rhys
    Mar 26 '14 at 8:26










  • @RhysW thanks for the edit, I really like this site, followed it for a few days ;)
    – Sebastian Dressler
    Mar 26 '14 at 8:29






  • 1




    possible duplicate of How much personal information am I obligated to share with my manager?
    – IDrinkandIKnowThings
    Mar 26 '14 at 19:27






  • 2




    Unless you take FMLA leave there are none of these protections you are assuming you have. Even when you file for FMLA your manager can still ask, you just can not be fired for saying I'd rather not talk about it. You will still have to fill out the FMLA paperwork which may disclose this anyway.
    – IDrinkandIKnowThings
    Mar 26 '14 at 19:28











  • I don't think this is a duplicate of the question Chad linked. That one asks what you're required to tell them; this one asks for techniques to not answer.
    – Monica Cellio♦
    Mar 26 '14 at 21:03












up vote
2
down vote

favorite









up vote
2
down vote

favorite











Assume that employee A is on sick leave. In his/her company it is normal to call in and notify about the illness ASAP.



However, it is always the case that one has to talk to the boss directly who asks about the reason for the sick leave. There is no way to force A to answer this question. A could simply refuse, and face the consequences.



Question is: What would be a good response/reaction to this question, knowing that one doesn't have to answer?



I came up with something like "I was at the doctor and he signed me off work and I'll be healthy back in a week.". But this may lead to further questions to which one isn't prepared.







share|improve this question














Assume that employee A is on sick leave. In his/her company it is normal to call in and notify about the illness ASAP.



However, it is always the case that one has to talk to the boss directly who asks about the reason for the sick leave. There is no way to force A to answer this question. A could simply refuse, and face the consequences.



Question is: What would be a good response/reaction to this question, knowing that one doesn't have to answer?



I came up with something like "I was at the doctor and he signed me off work and I'll be healthy back in a week.". But this may lead to further questions to which one isn't prepared.









share|improve this question













share|improve this question




share|improve this question








edited Dec 22 '14 at 0:46









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asked Mar 26 '14 at 7:57









Sebastian Dressler

116115




116115











  • Hi Rock and welcome to the site, I did a quick edit on your question just to make it a little easier to read. Hope you don't mind, and good luck!
    – Rhys
    Mar 26 '14 at 8:26










  • @RhysW thanks for the edit, I really like this site, followed it for a few days ;)
    – Sebastian Dressler
    Mar 26 '14 at 8:29






  • 1




    possible duplicate of How much personal information am I obligated to share with my manager?
    – IDrinkandIKnowThings
    Mar 26 '14 at 19:27






  • 2




    Unless you take FMLA leave there are none of these protections you are assuming you have. Even when you file for FMLA your manager can still ask, you just can not be fired for saying I'd rather not talk about it. You will still have to fill out the FMLA paperwork which may disclose this anyway.
    – IDrinkandIKnowThings
    Mar 26 '14 at 19:28











  • I don't think this is a duplicate of the question Chad linked. That one asks what you're required to tell them; this one asks for techniques to not answer.
    – Monica Cellio♦
    Mar 26 '14 at 21:03
















  • Hi Rock and welcome to the site, I did a quick edit on your question just to make it a little easier to read. Hope you don't mind, and good luck!
    – Rhys
    Mar 26 '14 at 8:26










  • @RhysW thanks for the edit, I really like this site, followed it for a few days ;)
    – Sebastian Dressler
    Mar 26 '14 at 8:29






  • 1




    possible duplicate of How much personal information am I obligated to share with my manager?
    – IDrinkandIKnowThings
    Mar 26 '14 at 19:27






  • 2




    Unless you take FMLA leave there are none of these protections you are assuming you have. Even when you file for FMLA your manager can still ask, you just can not be fired for saying I'd rather not talk about it. You will still have to fill out the FMLA paperwork which may disclose this anyway.
    – IDrinkandIKnowThings
    Mar 26 '14 at 19:28











  • I don't think this is a duplicate of the question Chad linked. That one asks what you're required to tell them; this one asks for techniques to not answer.
    – Monica Cellio♦
    Mar 26 '14 at 21:03















Hi Rock and welcome to the site, I did a quick edit on your question just to make it a little easier to read. Hope you don't mind, and good luck!
– Rhys
Mar 26 '14 at 8:26




Hi Rock and welcome to the site, I did a quick edit on your question just to make it a little easier to read. Hope you don't mind, and good luck!
– Rhys
Mar 26 '14 at 8:26












@RhysW thanks for the edit, I really like this site, followed it for a few days ;)
– Sebastian Dressler
Mar 26 '14 at 8:29




@RhysW thanks for the edit, I really like this site, followed it for a few days ;)
– Sebastian Dressler
Mar 26 '14 at 8:29




1




1




possible duplicate of How much personal information am I obligated to share with my manager?
– IDrinkandIKnowThings
Mar 26 '14 at 19:27




possible duplicate of How much personal information am I obligated to share with my manager?
– IDrinkandIKnowThings
Mar 26 '14 at 19:27




2




2




Unless you take FMLA leave there are none of these protections you are assuming you have. Even when you file for FMLA your manager can still ask, you just can not be fired for saying I'd rather not talk about it. You will still have to fill out the FMLA paperwork which may disclose this anyway.
– IDrinkandIKnowThings
Mar 26 '14 at 19:28





Unless you take FMLA leave there are none of these protections you are assuming you have. Even when you file for FMLA your manager can still ask, you just can not be fired for saying I'd rather not talk about it. You will still have to fill out the FMLA paperwork which may disclose this anyway.
– IDrinkandIKnowThings
Mar 26 '14 at 19:28













I don't think this is a duplicate of the question Chad linked. That one asks what you're required to tell them; this one asks for techniques to not answer.
– Monica Cellio♦
Mar 26 '14 at 21:03




I don't think this is a duplicate of the question Chad linked. That one asks what you're required to tell them; this one asks for techniques to not answer.
– Monica Cellio♦
Mar 26 '14 at 21:03










3 Answers
3






active

oldest

votes

















up vote
18
down vote



accepted










Let's set aside the law for one moment (which will vary from country to country) and look at this from a different point of view.



Why is your boss asking what's wrong with you?



  • They care about you and want to make sure you're ok?

  • They need to know how long you'll be off so they can plan for your absence?

  • They're nosey and just want to pry?

  • They're looking for an excuse to fire you?

It is usually sufficient to say something like "it's a personal matter that I don't feel comfortable discussing - I'll be back in on Thursday."



If you trust your boss -and if you've read your company's sick-pay guidance - you could tell them the nature of your illness and whether you think you'll need more time off in the future.



Generally speaking, you don't have to tell your boss why you're off - although you may need to share your doctor's note with your HR department.



If your boss persists, it would be worth talking to their boss or HR department to get them to remind your boss about the law / company policy on asking employees about medical matters.






share|improve this answer
















  • 2




    Agreed - this is a very boss / company dependant question. I'm happy to say that most bosses I've had would be asking in the same way a friend would. To be honest, I've always given reasons (even if vague), just out of courtesy.
    – Dan
    Mar 26 '14 at 8:09










  • Nice answer, I'd say the reason for the why is either #3 oder #4, in no case #1 or #2. So it's more like being in control and not caring about employees health.
    – Sebastian Dressler
    Mar 26 '14 at 8:14











  • In which case, politely refuse and either gently suggest that he's not allowed to ask that - or get someone more senior to you to remind them of their obligations.
    – Terence Eden
    Mar 26 '14 at 8:19






  • 4




    #5: He wants to know how it affects your work. If some heavy object needs moving, you can ask someone with hay fever for help, but you wouldn't want to ask someone with an injured wrist, just as an example. If it's something infectious, you'd assign them work that can be done from home, if possible.
    – gnasher729
    Jul 9 '14 at 14:32

















up vote
6
down vote













To build on this answer



I'd add possible reason #5 to his list: It's just a routine courtesy question, i.e. they want to SOUND like they're interested and care about you even if they really don't. People often pretend to be interested in your problems out of politeness. Like if you say, "My father died yesterday," people will say, "Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss." Do they really care? Often not. But it's considered polite to pretend to. Would you prefer if you told someone that your father died and they said, "So why should I care? He wasn't my father" ?



And reason #6: They suspect that you are not really sick and are taking time off to look for another job, or play golf, or whatever.



How often do you call in sick, especially compared to other employees in your company? If you've been working there 5 years and this is the first time you've ever called in sick, I doubt that anyone is thinking of firing you over it. If you call in sick twice a week, the company may be wondering if you are really sick or if you just don't feel like coming to work.



What is your company's sick policy? In some companies, employees are allowed a specific number of paid sick days per year. In that case, as long as you're within the limit there should be no problem. Other companies have no specific number. In that case you may not know whether the amount of time you take off sick is considered reasonable or not.



Why don't you want to answer? I don't take many sick days -- I haven't taken one in several years -- but when I do, I usually call or email and give an abbreviated reason, like "I broke my ankle" or "it's just a cold or flu, I should be better in a day or two". I suppose there are illnesses that could be embarrassing -- you're entering drug rehab or you have a sexually-transmitted disease or some such. In that case you could just give some generic explanation, like "I'm not sure what it is. I'm weak and throwing up. Hopefully the doctor can do something for me", or something of that sort.



Or is it that you're really not sick at all and are using sick time to get a free day off? If that's the case, don't. Surely you get some number of vacation days or personal days that you could use for the occasional "just didn't feel like working today".



I've had jobs where the rule was that an illness for more than a day or two, you were supposed to show a statement from the doctor. I don't know where you live or what the practices are there, but where I've lived and worked -- Ohio and Michigan in the U.S. -- doctors have a fairly standard sheet with common diagnoses and procedures so they can just circle whatever's relevant and send it to the insurance company. Employees often just hand this sheet to the employer. Anyway, my point is, this gives the diagnosis, so at that point the boss will know what the problem was anyway.



I'd be reluctant to pointedly refuse to answer the question, to say, "You have no legal right to ask me that" or some such. Even if true, why make it an argument when the boss may just be being polite? There are times when you need to stand up for your rights when you're under attack, but there's nothing to gain from turning an innocent question into a fight.






share|improve this answer






















  • In the UK, the doctor will fill out a form that says you are unable to work, and how long you will likely stay unable to work. So no indication what the illness is.
    – gnasher729
    Jan 23 '16 at 23:02

















up vote
0
down vote













Normally when you are sick you call in to inform people that you will not be coming to work, and you'll have to sort out some formalities like sick note from your doctor, whatever is appropriate. It would be good if you were informed ahead and knew who you have to call and what to do, but in a normal company you would call either your manager, or someone in HR, and they would tell you what to do.



Now this company has a rule that everyone has to talk to the boss directly who asks about the reason for the sick leave. That's unusual. Maybe in a medical research centre I would understand it (boss doesn't mind a broken leg, but the boss doesn't want you anywhere near if you have some infection). If people care about you, they will ask, and that could include your manager, for example. But this here is a general rule applying to everyone, so it's not about a caring boss.



I would be assuming that the boss wants to know because he or she doesn't quite trust the employees. Or maybe he doesn't want to employee people who will get ill again. If that is not the case with your boss, ignore this answer. So we assume there is general distrust, which creates an uncomfortable working environment. If your sickness is really a hangover on Monday, probably best to drink less on Sunday. Otherwise, you want to give an answer that doesn't increase the distrust. You will also want to give an answer that doesn't indicate you will be off sick again quite soon in case you feel that makes your job unsafe.



"You have no legal right to ask me" is absolutely true, but isn't going to help you, quite the opposite, so don't say that. If saying the truth isn't going to hurt you or embarrass you, you might as well say it. If the truth is embarrassing, you might say that this is really a personal thing that you wouldn't want to talk about. If my assumptions about the boss are correct, that would be acceptable and should be accepted as an answer.



And if it's something else: Giving the impression that the problem is something that is embarrassing and that you wouldn't want people to know is probably the best way to go. I think this is better than being vague and evasive. It would be quite hard and probably illegal for your boss to find out the real reason if you don't want him or her to know. In some countries, answering with a lie to an illegal question cannot be held in any way against you. In other places, the question is still illegal, and you don't have to have a bad conscience for giving a misleading answer.






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    3 Answers
    3






    active

    oldest

    votes








    3 Answers
    3






    active

    oldest

    votes









    active

    oldest

    votes






    active

    oldest

    votes








    up vote
    18
    down vote



    accepted










    Let's set aside the law for one moment (which will vary from country to country) and look at this from a different point of view.



    Why is your boss asking what's wrong with you?



    • They care about you and want to make sure you're ok?

    • They need to know how long you'll be off so they can plan for your absence?

    • They're nosey and just want to pry?

    • They're looking for an excuse to fire you?

    It is usually sufficient to say something like "it's a personal matter that I don't feel comfortable discussing - I'll be back in on Thursday."



    If you trust your boss -and if you've read your company's sick-pay guidance - you could tell them the nature of your illness and whether you think you'll need more time off in the future.



    Generally speaking, you don't have to tell your boss why you're off - although you may need to share your doctor's note with your HR department.



    If your boss persists, it would be worth talking to their boss or HR department to get them to remind your boss about the law / company policy on asking employees about medical matters.






    share|improve this answer
















    • 2




      Agreed - this is a very boss / company dependant question. I'm happy to say that most bosses I've had would be asking in the same way a friend would. To be honest, I've always given reasons (even if vague), just out of courtesy.
      – Dan
      Mar 26 '14 at 8:09










    • Nice answer, I'd say the reason for the why is either #3 oder #4, in no case #1 or #2. So it's more like being in control and not caring about employees health.
      – Sebastian Dressler
      Mar 26 '14 at 8:14











    • In which case, politely refuse and either gently suggest that he's not allowed to ask that - or get someone more senior to you to remind them of their obligations.
      – Terence Eden
      Mar 26 '14 at 8:19






    • 4




      #5: He wants to know how it affects your work. If some heavy object needs moving, you can ask someone with hay fever for help, but you wouldn't want to ask someone with an injured wrist, just as an example. If it's something infectious, you'd assign them work that can be done from home, if possible.
      – gnasher729
      Jul 9 '14 at 14:32














    up vote
    18
    down vote



    accepted










    Let's set aside the law for one moment (which will vary from country to country) and look at this from a different point of view.



    Why is your boss asking what's wrong with you?



    • They care about you and want to make sure you're ok?

    • They need to know how long you'll be off so they can plan for your absence?

    • They're nosey and just want to pry?

    • They're looking for an excuse to fire you?

    It is usually sufficient to say something like "it's a personal matter that I don't feel comfortable discussing - I'll be back in on Thursday."



    If you trust your boss -and if you've read your company's sick-pay guidance - you could tell them the nature of your illness and whether you think you'll need more time off in the future.



    Generally speaking, you don't have to tell your boss why you're off - although you may need to share your doctor's note with your HR department.



    If your boss persists, it would be worth talking to their boss or HR department to get them to remind your boss about the law / company policy on asking employees about medical matters.






    share|improve this answer
















    • 2




      Agreed - this is a very boss / company dependant question. I'm happy to say that most bosses I've had would be asking in the same way a friend would. To be honest, I've always given reasons (even if vague), just out of courtesy.
      – Dan
      Mar 26 '14 at 8:09










    • Nice answer, I'd say the reason for the why is either #3 oder #4, in no case #1 or #2. So it's more like being in control and not caring about employees health.
      – Sebastian Dressler
      Mar 26 '14 at 8:14











    • In which case, politely refuse and either gently suggest that he's not allowed to ask that - or get someone more senior to you to remind them of their obligations.
      – Terence Eden
      Mar 26 '14 at 8:19






    • 4




      #5: He wants to know how it affects your work. If some heavy object needs moving, you can ask someone with hay fever for help, but you wouldn't want to ask someone with an injured wrist, just as an example. If it's something infectious, you'd assign them work that can be done from home, if possible.
      – gnasher729
      Jul 9 '14 at 14:32












    up vote
    18
    down vote



    accepted







    up vote
    18
    down vote



    accepted






    Let's set aside the law for one moment (which will vary from country to country) and look at this from a different point of view.



    Why is your boss asking what's wrong with you?



    • They care about you and want to make sure you're ok?

    • They need to know how long you'll be off so they can plan for your absence?

    • They're nosey and just want to pry?

    • They're looking for an excuse to fire you?

    It is usually sufficient to say something like "it's a personal matter that I don't feel comfortable discussing - I'll be back in on Thursday."



    If you trust your boss -and if you've read your company's sick-pay guidance - you could tell them the nature of your illness and whether you think you'll need more time off in the future.



    Generally speaking, you don't have to tell your boss why you're off - although you may need to share your doctor's note with your HR department.



    If your boss persists, it would be worth talking to their boss or HR department to get them to remind your boss about the law / company policy on asking employees about medical matters.






    share|improve this answer












    Let's set aside the law for one moment (which will vary from country to country) and look at this from a different point of view.



    Why is your boss asking what's wrong with you?



    • They care about you and want to make sure you're ok?

    • They need to know how long you'll be off so they can plan for your absence?

    • They're nosey and just want to pry?

    • They're looking for an excuse to fire you?

    It is usually sufficient to say something like "it's a personal matter that I don't feel comfortable discussing - I'll be back in on Thursday."



    If you trust your boss -and if you've read your company's sick-pay guidance - you could tell them the nature of your illness and whether you think you'll need more time off in the future.



    Generally speaking, you don't have to tell your boss why you're off - although you may need to share your doctor's note with your HR department.



    If your boss persists, it would be worth talking to their boss or HR department to get them to remind your boss about the law / company policy on asking employees about medical matters.







    share|improve this answer












    share|improve this answer



    share|improve this answer










    answered Mar 26 '14 at 8:07









    Terence Eden

    10.3k43350




    10.3k43350







    • 2




      Agreed - this is a very boss / company dependant question. I'm happy to say that most bosses I've had would be asking in the same way a friend would. To be honest, I've always given reasons (even if vague), just out of courtesy.
      – Dan
      Mar 26 '14 at 8:09










    • Nice answer, I'd say the reason for the why is either #3 oder #4, in no case #1 or #2. So it's more like being in control and not caring about employees health.
      – Sebastian Dressler
      Mar 26 '14 at 8:14











    • In which case, politely refuse and either gently suggest that he's not allowed to ask that - or get someone more senior to you to remind them of their obligations.
      – Terence Eden
      Mar 26 '14 at 8:19






    • 4




      #5: He wants to know how it affects your work. If some heavy object needs moving, you can ask someone with hay fever for help, but you wouldn't want to ask someone with an injured wrist, just as an example. If it's something infectious, you'd assign them work that can be done from home, if possible.
      – gnasher729
      Jul 9 '14 at 14:32












    • 2




      Agreed - this is a very boss / company dependant question. I'm happy to say that most bosses I've had would be asking in the same way a friend would. To be honest, I've always given reasons (even if vague), just out of courtesy.
      – Dan
      Mar 26 '14 at 8:09










    • Nice answer, I'd say the reason for the why is either #3 oder #4, in no case #1 or #2. So it's more like being in control and not caring about employees health.
      – Sebastian Dressler
      Mar 26 '14 at 8:14











    • In which case, politely refuse and either gently suggest that he's not allowed to ask that - or get someone more senior to you to remind them of their obligations.
      – Terence Eden
      Mar 26 '14 at 8:19






    • 4




      #5: He wants to know how it affects your work. If some heavy object needs moving, you can ask someone with hay fever for help, but you wouldn't want to ask someone with an injured wrist, just as an example. If it's something infectious, you'd assign them work that can be done from home, if possible.
      – gnasher729
      Jul 9 '14 at 14:32







    2




    2




    Agreed - this is a very boss / company dependant question. I'm happy to say that most bosses I've had would be asking in the same way a friend would. To be honest, I've always given reasons (even if vague), just out of courtesy.
    – Dan
    Mar 26 '14 at 8:09




    Agreed - this is a very boss / company dependant question. I'm happy to say that most bosses I've had would be asking in the same way a friend would. To be honest, I've always given reasons (even if vague), just out of courtesy.
    – Dan
    Mar 26 '14 at 8:09












    Nice answer, I'd say the reason for the why is either #3 oder #4, in no case #1 or #2. So it's more like being in control and not caring about employees health.
    – Sebastian Dressler
    Mar 26 '14 at 8:14





    Nice answer, I'd say the reason for the why is either #3 oder #4, in no case #1 or #2. So it's more like being in control and not caring about employees health.
    – Sebastian Dressler
    Mar 26 '14 at 8:14













    In which case, politely refuse and either gently suggest that he's not allowed to ask that - or get someone more senior to you to remind them of their obligations.
    – Terence Eden
    Mar 26 '14 at 8:19




    In which case, politely refuse and either gently suggest that he's not allowed to ask that - or get someone more senior to you to remind them of their obligations.
    – Terence Eden
    Mar 26 '14 at 8:19




    4




    4




    #5: He wants to know how it affects your work. If some heavy object needs moving, you can ask someone with hay fever for help, but you wouldn't want to ask someone with an injured wrist, just as an example. If it's something infectious, you'd assign them work that can be done from home, if possible.
    – gnasher729
    Jul 9 '14 at 14:32




    #5: He wants to know how it affects your work. If some heavy object needs moving, you can ask someone with hay fever for help, but you wouldn't want to ask someone with an injured wrist, just as an example. If it's something infectious, you'd assign them work that can be done from home, if possible.
    – gnasher729
    Jul 9 '14 at 14:32












    up vote
    6
    down vote













    To build on this answer



    I'd add possible reason #5 to his list: It's just a routine courtesy question, i.e. they want to SOUND like they're interested and care about you even if they really don't. People often pretend to be interested in your problems out of politeness. Like if you say, "My father died yesterday," people will say, "Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss." Do they really care? Often not. But it's considered polite to pretend to. Would you prefer if you told someone that your father died and they said, "So why should I care? He wasn't my father" ?



    And reason #6: They suspect that you are not really sick and are taking time off to look for another job, or play golf, or whatever.



    How often do you call in sick, especially compared to other employees in your company? If you've been working there 5 years and this is the first time you've ever called in sick, I doubt that anyone is thinking of firing you over it. If you call in sick twice a week, the company may be wondering if you are really sick or if you just don't feel like coming to work.



    What is your company's sick policy? In some companies, employees are allowed a specific number of paid sick days per year. In that case, as long as you're within the limit there should be no problem. Other companies have no specific number. In that case you may not know whether the amount of time you take off sick is considered reasonable or not.



    Why don't you want to answer? I don't take many sick days -- I haven't taken one in several years -- but when I do, I usually call or email and give an abbreviated reason, like "I broke my ankle" or "it's just a cold or flu, I should be better in a day or two". I suppose there are illnesses that could be embarrassing -- you're entering drug rehab or you have a sexually-transmitted disease or some such. In that case you could just give some generic explanation, like "I'm not sure what it is. I'm weak and throwing up. Hopefully the doctor can do something for me", or something of that sort.



    Or is it that you're really not sick at all and are using sick time to get a free day off? If that's the case, don't. Surely you get some number of vacation days or personal days that you could use for the occasional "just didn't feel like working today".



    I've had jobs where the rule was that an illness for more than a day or two, you were supposed to show a statement from the doctor. I don't know where you live or what the practices are there, but where I've lived and worked -- Ohio and Michigan in the U.S. -- doctors have a fairly standard sheet with common diagnoses and procedures so they can just circle whatever's relevant and send it to the insurance company. Employees often just hand this sheet to the employer. Anyway, my point is, this gives the diagnosis, so at that point the boss will know what the problem was anyway.



    I'd be reluctant to pointedly refuse to answer the question, to say, "You have no legal right to ask me that" or some such. Even if true, why make it an argument when the boss may just be being polite? There are times when you need to stand up for your rights when you're under attack, but there's nothing to gain from turning an innocent question into a fight.






    share|improve this answer






















    • In the UK, the doctor will fill out a form that says you are unable to work, and how long you will likely stay unable to work. So no indication what the illness is.
      – gnasher729
      Jan 23 '16 at 23:02














    up vote
    6
    down vote













    To build on this answer



    I'd add possible reason #5 to his list: It's just a routine courtesy question, i.e. they want to SOUND like they're interested and care about you even if they really don't. People often pretend to be interested in your problems out of politeness. Like if you say, "My father died yesterday," people will say, "Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss." Do they really care? Often not. But it's considered polite to pretend to. Would you prefer if you told someone that your father died and they said, "So why should I care? He wasn't my father" ?



    And reason #6: They suspect that you are not really sick and are taking time off to look for another job, or play golf, or whatever.



    How often do you call in sick, especially compared to other employees in your company? If you've been working there 5 years and this is the first time you've ever called in sick, I doubt that anyone is thinking of firing you over it. If you call in sick twice a week, the company may be wondering if you are really sick or if you just don't feel like coming to work.



    What is your company's sick policy? In some companies, employees are allowed a specific number of paid sick days per year. In that case, as long as you're within the limit there should be no problem. Other companies have no specific number. In that case you may not know whether the amount of time you take off sick is considered reasonable or not.



    Why don't you want to answer? I don't take many sick days -- I haven't taken one in several years -- but when I do, I usually call or email and give an abbreviated reason, like "I broke my ankle" or "it's just a cold or flu, I should be better in a day or two". I suppose there are illnesses that could be embarrassing -- you're entering drug rehab or you have a sexually-transmitted disease or some such. In that case you could just give some generic explanation, like "I'm not sure what it is. I'm weak and throwing up. Hopefully the doctor can do something for me", or something of that sort.



    Or is it that you're really not sick at all and are using sick time to get a free day off? If that's the case, don't. Surely you get some number of vacation days or personal days that you could use for the occasional "just didn't feel like working today".



    I've had jobs where the rule was that an illness for more than a day or two, you were supposed to show a statement from the doctor. I don't know where you live or what the practices are there, but where I've lived and worked -- Ohio and Michigan in the U.S. -- doctors have a fairly standard sheet with common diagnoses and procedures so they can just circle whatever's relevant and send it to the insurance company. Employees often just hand this sheet to the employer. Anyway, my point is, this gives the diagnosis, so at that point the boss will know what the problem was anyway.



    I'd be reluctant to pointedly refuse to answer the question, to say, "You have no legal right to ask me that" or some such. Even if true, why make it an argument when the boss may just be being polite? There are times when you need to stand up for your rights when you're under attack, but there's nothing to gain from turning an innocent question into a fight.






    share|improve this answer






















    • In the UK, the doctor will fill out a form that says you are unable to work, and how long you will likely stay unable to work. So no indication what the illness is.
      – gnasher729
      Jan 23 '16 at 23:02












    up vote
    6
    down vote










    up vote
    6
    down vote









    To build on this answer



    I'd add possible reason #5 to his list: It's just a routine courtesy question, i.e. they want to SOUND like they're interested and care about you even if they really don't. People often pretend to be interested in your problems out of politeness. Like if you say, "My father died yesterday," people will say, "Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss." Do they really care? Often not. But it's considered polite to pretend to. Would you prefer if you told someone that your father died and they said, "So why should I care? He wasn't my father" ?



    And reason #6: They suspect that you are not really sick and are taking time off to look for another job, or play golf, or whatever.



    How often do you call in sick, especially compared to other employees in your company? If you've been working there 5 years and this is the first time you've ever called in sick, I doubt that anyone is thinking of firing you over it. If you call in sick twice a week, the company may be wondering if you are really sick or if you just don't feel like coming to work.



    What is your company's sick policy? In some companies, employees are allowed a specific number of paid sick days per year. In that case, as long as you're within the limit there should be no problem. Other companies have no specific number. In that case you may not know whether the amount of time you take off sick is considered reasonable or not.



    Why don't you want to answer? I don't take many sick days -- I haven't taken one in several years -- but when I do, I usually call or email and give an abbreviated reason, like "I broke my ankle" or "it's just a cold or flu, I should be better in a day or two". I suppose there are illnesses that could be embarrassing -- you're entering drug rehab or you have a sexually-transmitted disease or some such. In that case you could just give some generic explanation, like "I'm not sure what it is. I'm weak and throwing up. Hopefully the doctor can do something for me", or something of that sort.



    Or is it that you're really not sick at all and are using sick time to get a free day off? If that's the case, don't. Surely you get some number of vacation days or personal days that you could use for the occasional "just didn't feel like working today".



    I've had jobs where the rule was that an illness for more than a day or two, you were supposed to show a statement from the doctor. I don't know where you live or what the practices are there, but where I've lived and worked -- Ohio and Michigan in the U.S. -- doctors have a fairly standard sheet with common diagnoses and procedures so they can just circle whatever's relevant and send it to the insurance company. Employees often just hand this sheet to the employer. Anyway, my point is, this gives the diagnosis, so at that point the boss will know what the problem was anyway.



    I'd be reluctant to pointedly refuse to answer the question, to say, "You have no legal right to ask me that" or some such. Even if true, why make it an argument when the boss may just be being polite? There are times when you need to stand up for your rights when you're under attack, but there's nothing to gain from turning an innocent question into a fight.






    share|improve this answer














    To build on this answer



    I'd add possible reason #5 to his list: It's just a routine courtesy question, i.e. they want to SOUND like they're interested and care about you even if they really don't. People often pretend to be interested in your problems out of politeness. Like if you say, "My father died yesterday," people will say, "Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss." Do they really care? Often not. But it's considered polite to pretend to. Would you prefer if you told someone that your father died and they said, "So why should I care? He wasn't my father" ?



    And reason #6: They suspect that you are not really sick and are taking time off to look for another job, or play golf, or whatever.



    How often do you call in sick, especially compared to other employees in your company? If you've been working there 5 years and this is the first time you've ever called in sick, I doubt that anyone is thinking of firing you over it. If you call in sick twice a week, the company may be wondering if you are really sick or if you just don't feel like coming to work.



    What is your company's sick policy? In some companies, employees are allowed a specific number of paid sick days per year. In that case, as long as you're within the limit there should be no problem. Other companies have no specific number. In that case you may not know whether the amount of time you take off sick is considered reasonable or not.



    Why don't you want to answer? I don't take many sick days -- I haven't taken one in several years -- but when I do, I usually call or email and give an abbreviated reason, like "I broke my ankle" or "it's just a cold or flu, I should be better in a day or two". I suppose there are illnesses that could be embarrassing -- you're entering drug rehab or you have a sexually-transmitted disease or some such. In that case you could just give some generic explanation, like "I'm not sure what it is. I'm weak and throwing up. Hopefully the doctor can do something for me", or something of that sort.



    Or is it that you're really not sick at all and are using sick time to get a free day off? If that's the case, don't. Surely you get some number of vacation days or personal days that you could use for the occasional "just didn't feel like working today".



    I've had jobs where the rule was that an illness for more than a day or two, you were supposed to show a statement from the doctor. I don't know where you live or what the practices are there, but where I've lived and worked -- Ohio and Michigan in the U.S. -- doctors have a fairly standard sheet with common diagnoses and procedures so they can just circle whatever's relevant and send it to the insurance company. Employees often just hand this sheet to the employer. Anyway, my point is, this gives the diagnosis, so at that point the boss will know what the problem was anyway.



    I'd be reluctant to pointedly refuse to answer the question, to say, "You have no legal right to ask me that" or some such. Even if true, why make it an argument when the boss may just be being polite? There are times when you need to stand up for your rights when you're under attack, but there's nothing to gain from turning an innocent question into a fight.







    share|improve this answer














    share|improve this answer



    share|improve this answer








    edited Apr 13 '17 at 12:48









    Community♦

    1




    1










    answered Mar 26 '14 at 14:06









    Jay

    8,58611430




    8,58611430











    • In the UK, the doctor will fill out a form that says you are unable to work, and how long you will likely stay unable to work. So no indication what the illness is.
      – gnasher729
      Jan 23 '16 at 23:02
















    • In the UK, the doctor will fill out a form that says you are unable to work, and how long you will likely stay unable to work. So no indication what the illness is.
      – gnasher729
      Jan 23 '16 at 23:02















    In the UK, the doctor will fill out a form that says you are unable to work, and how long you will likely stay unable to work. So no indication what the illness is.
    – gnasher729
    Jan 23 '16 at 23:02




    In the UK, the doctor will fill out a form that says you are unable to work, and how long you will likely stay unable to work. So no indication what the illness is.
    – gnasher729
    Jan 23 '16 at 23:02










    up vote
    0
    down vote













    Normally when you are sick you call in to inform people that you will not be coming to work, and you'll have to sort out some formalities like sick note from your doctor, whatever is appropriate. It would be good if you were informed ahead and knew who you have to call and what to do, but in a normal company you would call either your manager, or someone in HR, and they would tell you what to do.



    Now this company has a rule that everyone has to talk to the boss directly who asks about the reason for the sick leave. That's unusual. Maybe in a medical research centre I would understand it (boss doesn't mind a broken leg, but the boss doesn't want you anywhere near if you have some infection). If people care about you, they will ask, and that could include your manager, for example. But this here is a general rule applying to everyone, so it's not about a caring boss.



    I would be assuming that the boss wants to know because he or she doesn't quite trust the employees. Or maybe he doesn't want to employee people who will get ill again. If that is not the case with your boss, ignore this answer. So we assume there is general distrust, which creates an uncomfortable working environment. If your sickness is really a hangover on Monday, probably best to drink less on Sunday. Otherwise, you want to give an answer that doesn't increase the distrust. You will also want to give an answer that doesn't indicate you will be off sick again quite soon in case you feel that makes your job unsafe.



    "You have no legal right to ask me" is absolutely true, but isn't going to help you, quite the opposite, so don't say that. If saying the truth isn't going to hurt you or embarrass you, you might as well say it. If the truth is embarrassing, you might say that this is really a personal thing that you wouldn't want to talk about. If my assumptions about the boss are correct, that would be acceptable and should be accepted as an answer.



    And if it's something else: Giving the impression that the problem is something that is embarrassing and that you wouldn't want people to know is probably the best way to go. I think this is better than being vague and evasive. It would be quite hard and probably illegal for your boss to find out the real reason if you don't want him or her to know. In some countries, answering with a lie to an illegal question cannot be held in any way against you. In other places, the question is still illegal, and you don't have to have a bad conscience for giving a misleading answer.






    share|improve this answer
























      up vote
      0
      down vote













      Normally when you are sick you call in to inform people that you will not be coming to work, and you'll have to sort out some formalities like sick note from your doctor, whatever is appropriate. It would be good if you were informed ahead and knew who you have to call and what to do, but in a normal company you would call either your manager, or someone in HR, and they would tell you what to do.



      Now this company has a rule that everyone has to talk to the boss directly who asks about the reason for the sick leave. That's unusual. Maybe in a medical research centre I would understand it (boss doesn't mind a broken leg, but the boss doesn't want you anywhere near if you have some infection). If people care about you, they will ask, and that could include your manager, for example. But this here is a general rule applying to everyone, so it's not about a caring boss.



      I would be assuming that the boss wants to know because he or she doesn't quite trust the employees. Or maybe he doesn't want to employee people who will get ill again. If that is not the case with your boss, ignore this answer. So we assume there is general distrust, which creates an uncomfortable working environment. If your sickness is really a hangover on Monday, probably best to drink less on Sunday. Otherwise, you want to give an answer that doesn't increase the distrust. You will also want to give an answer that doesn't indicate you will be off sick again quite soon in case you feel that makes your job unsafe.



      "You have no legal right to ask me" is absolutely true, but isn't going to help you, quite the opposite, so don't say that. If saying the truth isn't going to hurt you or embarrass you, you might as well say it. If the truth is embarrassing, you might say that this is really a personal thing that you wouldn't want to talk about. If my assumptions about the boss are correct, that would be acceptable and should be accepted as an answer.



      And if it's something else: Giving the impression that the problem is something that is embarrassing and that you wouldn't want people to know is probably the best way to go. I think this is better than being vague and evasive. It would be quite hard and probably illegal for your boss to find out the real reason if you don't want him or her to know. In some countries, answering with a lie to an illegal question cannot be held in any way against you. In other places, the question is still illegal, and you don't have to have a bad conscience for giving a misleading answer.






      share|improve this answer






















        up vote
        0
        down vote










        up vote
        0
        down vote









        Normally when you are sick you call in to inform people that you will not be coming to work, and you'll have to sort out some formalities like sick note from your doctor, whatever is appropriate. It would be good if you were informed ahead and knew who you have to call and what to do, but in a normal company you would call either your manager, or someone in HR, and they would tell you what to do.



        Now this company has a rule that everyone has to talk to the boss directly who asks about the reason for the sick leave. That's unusual. Maybe in a medical research centre I would understand it (boss doesn't mind a broken leg, but the boss doesn't want you anywhere near if you have some infection). If people care about you, they will ask, and that could include your manager, for example. But this here is a general rule applying to everyone, so it's not about a caring boss.



        I would be assuming that the boss wants to know because he or she doesn't quite trust the employees. Or maybe he doesn't want to employee people who will get ill again. If that is not the case with your boss, ignore this answer. So we assume there is general distrust, which creates an uncomfortable working environment. If your sickness is really a hangover on Monday, probably best to drink less on Sunday. Otherwise, you want to give an answer that doesn't increase the distrust. You will also want to give an answer that doesn't indicate you will be off sick again quite soon in case you feel that makes your job unsafe.



        "You have no legal right to ask me" is absolutely true, but isn't going to help you, quite the opposite, so don't say that. If saying the truth isn't going to hurt you or embarrass you, you might as well say it. If the truth is embarrassing, you might say that this is really a personal thing that you wouldn't want to talk about. If my assumptions about the boss are correct, that would be acceptable and should be accepted as an answer.



        And if it's something else: Giving the impression that the problem is something that is embarrassing and that you wouldn't want people to know is probably the best way to go. I think this is better than being vague and evasive. It would be quite hard and probably illegal for your boss to find out the real reason if you don't want him or her to know. In some countries, answering with a lie to an illegal question cannot be held in any way against you. In other places, the question is still illegal, and you don't have to have a bad conscience for giving a misleading answer.






        share|improve this answer












        Normally when you are sick you call in to inform people that you will not be coming to work, and you'll have to sort out some formalities like sick note from your doctor, whatever is appropriate. It would be good if you were informed ahead and knew who you have to call and what to do, but in a normal company you would call either your manager, or someone in HR, and they would tell you what to do.



        Now this company has a rule that everyone has to talk to the boss directly who asks about the reason for the sick leave. That's unusual. Maybe in a medical research centre I would understand it (boss doesn't mind a broken leg, but the boss doesn't want you anywhere near if you have some infection). If people care about you, they will ask, and that could include your manager, for example. But this here is a general rule applying to everyone, so it's not about a caring boss.



        I would be assuming that the boss wants to know because he or she doesn't quite trust the employees. Or maybe he doesn't want to employee people who will get ill again. If that is not the case with your boss, ignore this answer. So we assume there is general distrust, which creates an uncomfortable working environment. If your sickness is really a hangover on Monday, probably best to drink less on Sunday. Otherwise, you want to give an answer that doesn't increase the distrust. You will also want to give an answer that doesn't indicate you will be off sick again quite soon in case you feel that makes your job unsafe.



        "You have no legal right to ask me" is absolutely true, but isn't going to help you, quite the opposite, so don't say that. If saying the truth isn't going to hurt you or embarrass you, you might as well say it. If the truth is embarrassing, you might say that this is really a personal thing that you wouldn't want to talk about. If my assumptions about the boss are correct, that would be acceptable and should be accepted as an answer.



        And if it's something else: Giving the impression that the problem is something that is embarrassing and that you wouldn't want people to know is probably the best way to go. I think this is better than being vague and evasive. It would be quite hard and probably illegal for your boss to find out the real reason if you don't want him or her to know. In some countries, answering with a lie to an illegal question cannot be held in any way against you. In other places, the question is still illegal, and you don't have to have a bad conscience for giving a misleading answer.







        share|improve this answer












        share|improve this answer



        share|improve this answer










        answered Jan 23 '16 at 23:00









        gnasher729

        71.6k31133225




        71.6k31133225






















             

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