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How can I get out of social situations with my boss [closed]
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I started working at a thrift store and my first week the owner of the store asked me out. everyone seemed to hang out there so I said it would be okay if he met me and my sister out for drinks but I realized right away that I didn't want to go out with him in a social setting like that although I enjoyed talking to him at work. over time he grew very fond of me and kept asking me out I agreed to go out on to dinner with him but after that I ended up blowing him off which caused a lot of resentment in the workplace. I even had to find a new job the treantment was too unfair but then i was promoted to manager and he is asking to hang out again. I only have one day off a week and I really don't want to spend it with him, so I don't know how to go about keeping the working friendship without having to make an excuse for why I can't hang out every weekend... is my job secure if I am honest and say no thank you I'm busy
job-security
asked Jul 7 '16 at 22:07
Jenna Marquardt
12
closed as unclear what you're asking by Lilienthal♦, gnat, Chris E, HorusKol, IDrinkandIKnowThings Jul 14 '16 at 20:50
Please clarify your specific problem or add additional details to highlight exactly what you need. As it's currently written, it’s hard to tell exactly what you're asking. See the How to Ask page for help clarifying this question. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
-4
down vote
favorite
I started working at a thrift store and my first week the owner of the store asked me out. everyone seemed to hang out there so I said it would be okay if he met me and my sister out for drinks but I realized right away that I didn't want to go out with him in a social setting like that although I enjoyed talking to him at work. over time he grew very fond of me and kept asking me out I agreed to go out on to dinner with him but after that I ended up blowing him off which caused a lot of resentment in the workplace. I even had to find a new job the treantment was too unfair but then i was promoted to manager and he is asking to hang out again. I only have one day off a week and I really don't want to spend it with him, so I don't know how to go about keeping the working friendship without having to make an excuse for why I can't hang out every weekend... is my job secure if I am honest and say no thank you I'm busy
job-security
asked Jul 7 '16 at 22:07
Jenna Marquardt
12
closed as unclear what you're asking by Lilienthal♦, gnat, Chris E, HorusKol, IDrinkandIKnowThings Jul 14 '16 at 20:50
Please clarify your specific problem or add additional details to highlight exactly what you need. As it's currently written, it’s hard to tell exactly what you're asking. See the How to Ask page for help clarifying this question. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.
1
That wall of text is a bit difficult to read. Some punctuation & formatting would go a long way.
– brhans
Jul 7 '16 at 22:12
4
You had to quit, but now you're manager at the same place? ... Other than that, we can't possibly know if your job is secure.
– deviantfan
Jul 7 '16 at 22:13
I think it's important that you make your point known. The owner may have kept you on purely in an attempt to go out with you. It's impossible to prove but overall what is clear is that it may worsen as the owner might feel that you are obligated to go out with him after several advancements. It's better to make it clear now that you're just not interested and hope that your position isn't compromised. Prepare yourself if such a thing happen.
– Dan
Jul 8 '16 at 13:39
Possible duplicate of How can I politely decline my boss's invitations to social events after-hours or on the weekend
– IDrinkandIKnowThings
Jul 14 '16 at 20:50
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
-4
down vote
favorite
up vote
-4
down vote
favorite
I started working at a thrift store and my first week the owner of the store asked me out. everyone seemed to hang out there so I said it would be okay if he met me and my sister out for drinks but I realized right away that I didn't want to go out with him in a social setting like that although I enjoyed talking to him at work. over time he grew very fond of me and kept asking me out I agreed to go out on to dinner with him but after that I ended up blowing him off which caused a lot of resentment in the workplace. I even had to find a new job the treantment was too unfair but then i was promoted to manager and he is asking to hang out again. I only have one day off a week and I really don't want to spend it with him, so I don't know how to go about keeping the working friendship without having to make an excuse for why I can't hang out every weekend... is my job secure if I am honest and say no thank you I'm busy
job-security
asked Jul 7 '16 at 22:07
Jenna Marquardt
12
I started working at a thrift store and my first week the owner of the store asked me out. everyone seemed to hang out there so I said it would be okay if he met me and my sister out for drinks but I realized right away that I didn't want to go out with him in a social setting like that although I enjoyed talking to him at work. over time he grew very fond of me and kept asking me out I agreed to go out on to dinner with him but after that I ended up blowing him off which caused a lot of resentment in the workplace. I even had to find a new job the treantment was too unfair but then i was promoted to manager and he is asking to hang out again. I only have one day off a week and I really don't want to spend it with him, so I don't know how to go about keeping the working friendship without having to make an excuse for why I can't hang out every weekend... is my job secure if I am honest and say no thank you I'm busy
job-security
asked Jul 7 '16 at 22:07
Jenna Marquardt
12
edited Jul 7 '16 at 22:13
asked Jul 7 '16 at 22:07
Jenna Marquardt
12
asked Jul 7 '16 at 22:07
Jenna Marquardt
12
asked Jul 7 '16 at 22:07
Jenna Marquardt
12
12
closed as unclear what you're asking by Lilienthal♦, gnat, Chris E, HorusKol, IDrinkandIKnowThings Jul 14 '16 at 20:50
Please clarify your specific problem or add additional details to highlight exactly what you need. As it's currently written, it’s hard to tell exactly what you're asking. See the How to Ask page for help clarifying this question. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.
closed as unclear what you're asking by Lilienthal♦, gnat, Chris E, HorusKol, IDrinkandIKnowThings Jul 14 '16 at 20:50
Please clarify your specific problem or add additional details to highlight exactly what you need. As it's currently written, it’s hard to tell exactly what you're asking. See the How to Ask page for help clarifying this question. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.
1
That wall of text is a bit difficult to read. Some punctuation & formatting would go a long way.
– brhans
Jul 7 '16 at 22:12
4
You had to quit, but now you're manager at the same place? ... Other than that, we can't possibly know if your job is secure.
– deviantfan
Jul 7 '16 at 22:13
I think it's important that you make your point known. The owner may have kept you on purely in an attempt to go out with you. It's impossible to prove but overall what is clear is that it may worsen as the owner might feel that you are obligated to go out with him after several advancements. It's better to make it clear now that you're just not interested and hope that your position isn't compromised. Prepare yourself if such a thing happen.
– Dan
Jul 8 '16 at 13:39
Possible duplicate of How can I politely decline my boss's invitations to social events after-hours or on the weekend
– IDrinkandIKnowThings
Jul 14 '16 at 20:50
suggest improvements |Â
1
That wall of text is a bit difficult to read. Some punctuation & formatting would go a long way.
– brhans
Jul 7 '16 at 22:12
4
You had to quit, but now you're manager at the same place? ... Other than that, we can't possibly know if your job is secure.
– deviantfan
Jul 7 '16 at 22:13
I think it's important that you make your point known. The owner may have kept you on purely in an attempt to go out with you. It's impossible to prove but overall what is clear is that it may worsen as the owner might feel that you are obligated to go out with him after several advancements. It's better to make it clear now that you're just not interested and hope that your position isn't compromised. Prepare yourself if such a thing happen.
– Dan
Jul 8 '16 at 13:39
Possible duplicate of How can I politely decline my boss's invitations to social events after-hours or on the weekend
– IDrinkandIKnowThings
Jul 14 '16 at 20:50
1
1
That wall of text is a bit difficult to read. Some punctuation & formatting would go a long way.
– brhans
Jul 7 '16 at 22:12
That wall of text is a bit difficult to read. Some punctuation & formatting would go a long way.
– brhans
Jul 7 '16 at 22:12
4
4
You had to quit, but now you're manager at the same place? ... Other than that, we can't possibly know if your job is secure.
– deviantfan
Jul 7 '16 at 22:13
You had to quit, but now you're manager at the same place? ... Other than that, we can't possibly know if your job is secure.
– deviantfan
Jul 7 '16 at 22:13
I think it's important that you make your point known. The owner may have kept you on purely in an attempt to go out with you. It's impossible to prove but overall what is clear is that it may worsen as the owner might feel that you are obligated to go out with him after several advancements. It's better to make it clear now that you're just not interested and hope that your position isn't compromised. Prepare yourself if such a thing happen.
– Dan
Jul 8 '16 at 13:39
I think it's important that you make your point known. The owner may have kept you on purely in an attempt to go out with you. It's impossible to prove but overall what is clear is that it may worsen as the owner might feel that you are obligated to go out with him after several advancements. It's better to make it clear now that you're just not interested and hope that your position isn't compromised. Prepare yourself if such a thing happen.
– Dan
Jul 8 '16 at 13:39
Possible duplicate of How can I politely decline my boss's invitations to social events after-hours or on the weekend
– IDrinkandIKnowThings
Jul 14 '16 at 20:50
Possible duplicate of How can I politely decline my boss's invitations to social events after-hours or on the weekend
– IDrinkandIKnowThings
Jul 14 '16 at 20:50
suggest improvements |Â
1 Answer
1
active
oldest
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up vote
2
down vote
If I understand correctly, you were unhappy and found a new job but received an offer of a promotion and decided to stay. The store owner is behaving unprofessionally and by leading you to believe that dating him is in any way related to how you are treated as an employee is likely sexual harassment. Unfortunately the consequences of sexual harassment vary a lot by country so without know where you are from it's difficult to go into any more depth regarding that. Stick to your guns and be honest "I'm not really interested in hanging outside of work."
answered Jul 7 '16 at 22:29
Myles
25.4k658104
1
I don't think what the OP said qualifies as sexual harassment. Just a persisting advancement that hasn't yet been fully answered with a firm yes or no. The OP needs to firmly say NO, I am NOT interested in going out with you now or ever. From there, the OP may lose her job as the owner may have kept her on just in the hopes of going out with her.
– Dan
Jul 8 '16 at 13:35
which caused a lot of resentment in the workplace I believe this statement strongly hints at sexual harassment as her choosing not to accept his advances led to unfavorable treatment within the workplace. Exact definition of sexual harassment will vary country to country but the Ontario human rights commission states "Section 7(3)(a) of the Code sets out a person's right to be free from unwelcome sexual advances or solicitation from a person who is in a position to grant or deny a benefit".
– Myles
Jul 10 '16 at 1:40
suggest improvements |Â
1 Answer
1
active
oldest
votes
1 Answer
1
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
up vote
2
down vote
If I understand correctly, you were unhappy and found a new job but received an offer of a promotion and decided to stay. The store owner is behaving unprofessionally and by leading you to believe that dating him is in any way related to how you are treated as an employee is likely sexual harassment. Unfortunately the consequences of sexual harassment vary a lot by country so without know where you are from it's difficult to go into any more depth regarding that. Stick to your guns and be honest "I'm not really interested in hanging outside of work."
answered Jul 7 '16 at 22:29
Myles
25.4k658104
1
I don't think what the OP said qualifies as sexual harassment. Just a persisting advancement that hasn't yet been fully answered with a firm yes or no. The OP needs to firmly say NO, I am NOT interested in going out with you now or ever. From there, the OP may lose her job as the owner may have kept her on just in the hopes of going out with her.
– Dan
Jul 8 '16 at 13:35
which caused a lot of resentment in the workplace I believe this statement strongly hints at sexual harassment as her choosing not to accept his advances led to unfavorable treatment within the workplace. Exact definition of sexual harassment will vary country to country but the Ontario human rights commission states "Section 7(3)(a) of the Code sets out a person's right to be free from unwelcome sexual advances or solicitation from a person who is in a position to grant or deny a benefit".
– Myles
Jul 10 '16 at 1:40
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
2
down vote
If I understand correctly, you were unhappy and found a new job but received an offer of a promotion and decided to stay. The store owner is behaving unprofessionally and by leading you to believe that dating him is in any way related to how you are treated as an employee is likely sexual harassment. Unfortunately the consequences of sexual harassment vary a lot by country so without know where you are from it's difficult to go into any more depth regarding that. Stick to your guns and be honest "I'm not really interested in hanging outside of work."
answered Jul 7 '16 at 22:29
Myles
25.4k658104
1
I don't think what the OP said qualifies as sexual harassment. Just a persisting advancement that hasn't yet been fully answered with a firm yes or no. The OP needs to firmly say NO, I am NOT interested in going out with you now or ever. From there, the OP may lose her job as the owner may have kept her on just in the hopes of going out with her.
– Dan
Jul 8 '16 at 13:35
which caused a lot of resentment in the workplace I believe this statement strongly hints at sexual harassment as her choosing not to accept his advances led to unfavorable treatment within the workplace. Exact definition of sexual harassment will vary country to country but the Ontario human rights commission states "Section 7(3)(a) of the Code sets out a person's right to be free from unwelcome sexual advances or solicitation from a person who is in a position to grant or deny a benefit".
– Myles
Jul 10 '16 at 1:40
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
2
down vote
up vote
2
down vote
If I understand correctly, you were unhappy and found a new job but received an offer of a promotion and decided to stay. The store owner is behaving unprofessionally and by leading you to believe that dating him is in any way related to how you are treated as an employee is likely sexual harassment. Unfortunately the consequences of sexual harassment vary a lot by country so without know where you are from it's difficult to go into any more depth regarding that. Stick to your guns and be honest "I'm not really interested in hanging outside of work."
answered Jul 7 '16 at 22:29
Myles
25.4k658104
If I understand correctly, you were unhappy and found a new job but received an offer of a promotion and decided to stay. The store owner is behaving unprofessionally and by leading you to believe that dating him is in any way related to how you are treated as an employee is likely sexual harassment. Unfortunately the consequences of sexual harassment vary a lot by country so without know where you are from it's difficult to go into any more depth regarding that. Stick to your guns and be honest "I'm not really interested in hanging outside of work."
answered Jul 7 '16 at 22:29
Myles
25.4k658104
answered Jul 7 '16 at 22:29
Myles
25.4k658104
answered Jul 7 '16 at 22:29
Myles
25.4k658104
answered Jul 7 '16 at 22:29
Myles
25.4k658104
25.4k658104
1
I don't think what the OP said qualifies as sexual harassment. Just a persisting advancement that hasn't yet been fully answered with a firm yes or no. The OP needs to firmly say NO, I am NOT interested in going out with you now or ever. From there, the OP may lose her job as the owner may have kept her on just in the hopes of going out with her.
– Dan
Jul 8 '16 at 13:35
which caused a lot of resentment in the workplace I believe this statement strongly hints at sexual harassment as her choosing not to accept his advances led to unfavorable treatment within the workplace. Exact definition of sexual harassment will vary country to country but the Ontario human rights commission states "Section 7(3)(a) of the Code sets out a person's right to be free from unwelcome sexual advances or solicitation from a person who is in a position to grant or deny a benefit".
– Myles
Jul 10 '16 at 1:40
suggest improvements |Â
1
I don't think what the OP said qualifies as sexual harassment. Just a persisting advancement that hasn't yet been fully answered with a firm yes or no. The OP needs to firmly say NO, I am NOT interested in going out with you now or ever. From there, the OP may lose her job as the owner may have kept her on just in the hopes of going out with her.
– Dan
Jul 8 '16 at 13:35
which caused a lot of resentment in the workplace I believe this statement strongly hints at sexual harassment as her choosing not to accept his advances led to unfavorable treatment within the workplace. Exact definition of sexual harassment will vary country to country but the Ontario human rights commission states "Section 7(3)(a) of the Code sets out a person's right to be free from unwelcome sexual advances or solicitation from a person who is in a position to grant or deny a benefit".
– Myles
Jul 10 '16 at 1:40
1
1
I don't think what the OP said qualifies as sexual harassment. Just a persisting advancement that hasn't yet been fully answered with a firm yes or no. The OP needs to firmly say NO, I am NOT interested in going out with you now or ever. From there, the OP may lose her job as the owner may have kept her on just in the hopes of going out with her.
– Dan
Jul 8 '16 at 13:35
I don't think what the OP said qualifies as sexual harassment. Just a persisting advancement that hasn't yet been fully answered with a firm yes or no. The OP needs to firmly say NO, I am NOT interested in going out with you now or ever. From there, the OP may lose her job as the owner may have kept her on just in the hopes of going out with her.
– Dan
Jul 8 '16 at 13:35
which caused a lot of resentment in the workplace I believe this statement strongly hints at sexual harassment as her choosing not to accept his advances led to unfavorable treatment within the workplace. Exact definition of sexual harassment will vary country to country but the Ontario human rights commission states "Section 7(3)(a) of the Code sets out a person's right to be free from unwelcome sexual advances or solicitation from a person who is in a position to grant or deny a benefit".
– Myles
Jul 10 '16 at 1:40
which caused a lot of resentment in the workplace I believe this statement strongly hints at sexual harassment as her choosing not to accept his advances led to unfavorable treatment within the workplace. Exact definition of sexual harassment will vary country to country but the Ontario human rights commission states "Section 7(3)(a) of the Code sets out a person's right to be free from unwelcome sexual advances or solicitation from a person who is in a position to grant or deny a benefit".
– Myles
Jul 10 '16 at 1:40
suggest improvements |Â
1
That wall of text is a bit difficult to read. Some punctuation & formatting would go a long way.
– brhans
Jul 7 '16 at 22:12
4
You had to quit, but now you're manager at the same place? ... Other than that, we can't possibly know if your job is secure.
– deviantfan
Jul 7 '16 at 22:13
I think it's important that you make your point known. The owner may have kept you on purely in an attempt to go out with you. It's impossible to prove but overall what is clear is that it may worsen as the owner might feel that you are obligated to go out with him after several advancements. It's better to make it clear now that you're just not interested and hope that your position isn't compromised. Prepare yourself if such a thing happen.
– Dan
Jul 8 '16 at 13:39
Possible duplicate of How can I politely decline my boss's invitations to social events after-hours or on the weekend
– IDrinkandIKnowThings
Jul 14 '16 at 20:50