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Dealing with a coworker who is spreading rumors to customers [closed]
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I have a coworker (Jane) who works for the same, medium-sized organization I do. Jane and I have known each other for quite some time, though we were never more than acquaintances, our last interaction several months ago was pleasant.
I work for the daycare in our organization, which is available both to employees and the general public. Jane works in an unrelated department. Today, it came to my attention that Jane has been spreading rumors about me not only within the organization, but also to parents of the children I watch (some internal employees, some general public). I've noticed some of the parents treating me differently, though I don't know what the rumor is.
I also applied for an internal job; Jane apparently spoke to the hiring manager, absent either my request or hers, and said I would not be a good fit, though I suspect far less politely.
Feeling hurt, frustrated, and betrayed, my first instinct was to go to HR, though it occurred to me that this can quickly devolve into a "he-said-she-said". My other thought was to confront the some of the parents who have been treating me differently to see why Jane has said about me. While I have not asked my manager about this, I suspect this sort of interaction would be out-of-bounds, and so have not followed through.
What can I do to counter this problem so that I can progress in my career with the company and improve my relationship with my clients (the parents of the children I watch)?
professionalism communication clients
edited Jul 14 '16 at 20:29
IDrinkandIKnowThings
43.7k1397187
asked Jul 14 '16 at 3:41
agentroadkill
979613
closed as off-topic by gnat, Chris E, paparazzo, Rory Alsop, Michael Grubey Jul 20 '16 at 4:41
This question appears to be off-topic. The users who voted to close gave this specific reason:
- "Real questions have answers. Rather than explaining why your situation is terrible, or why your boss/coworker makes you unhappy, explain what you want to do to make it better. For more information, click here." – gnat, Chris E, paparazzo, Rory Alsop, Michael Grubey
 |Â
show 5 more comments
up vote
3
down vote
favorite
I have a coworker (Jane) who works for the same, medium-sized organization I do. Jane and I have known each other for quite some time, though we were never more than acquaintances, our last interaction several months ago was pleasant.
I work for the daycare in our organization, which is available both to employees and the general public. Jane works in an unrelated department. Today, it came to my attention that Jane has been spreading rumors about me not only within the organization, but also to parents of the children I watch (some internal employees, some general public). I've noticed some of the parents treating me differently, though I don't know what the rumor is.
I also applied for an internal job; Jane apparently spoke to the hiring manager, absent either my request or hers, and said I would not be a good fit, though I suspect far less politely.
Feeling hurt, frustrated, and betrayed, my first instinct was to go to HR, though it occurred to me that this can quickly devolve into a "he-said-she-said". My other thought was to confront the some of the parents who have been treating me differently to see why Jane has said about me. While I have not asked my manager about this, I suspect this sort of interaction would be out-of-bounds, and so have not followed through.
What can I do to counter this problem so that I can progress in my career with the company and improve my relationship with my clients (the parents of the children I watch)?
professionalism communication clients
edited Jul 14 '16 at 20:29
IDrinkandIKnowThings
43.7k1397187
asked Jul 14 '16 at 3:41
agentroadkill
979613
closed as off-topic by gnat, Chris E, paparazzo, Rory Alsop, Michael Grubey Jul 20 '16 at 4:41
This question appears to be off-topic. The users who voted to close gave this specific reason:
- "Real questions have answers. Rather than explaining why your situation is terrible, or why your boss/coworker makes you unhappy, explain what you want to do to make it better. For more information, click here." – gnat, Chris E, paparazzo, Rory Alsop, Michael Grubey
2
Now this is HR territory.
– Lilienthal♦
Jul 14 '16 at 6:36
What country are you in?
– Radu Murzea
Jul 14 '16 at 6:55
3
You know she is spreading rumors but you don't know the rumor. Just how to you know she is spreading rumors?
– paparazzo
Jul 14 '16 at 9:00
@RaduMurzea this is the US, thank you.
– agentroadkill
Jul 14 '16 at 9:18
1
@agentroadkill - I kind of described what normal would be in workplace terms to prevent the question from being closed. Normal is a very subjective term. This kind of spelled out what normal would be based on the problems listed in the question (promotion blocked, coworkers treating you differently)
– IDrinkandIKnowThings
Jul 15 '16 at 3:15
 |Â
show 5 more comments
up vote
3
down vote
favorite
up vote
3
down vote
favorite
I have a coworker (Jane) who works for the same, medium-sized organization I do. Jane and I have known each other for quite some time, though we were never more than acquaintances, our last interaction several months ago was pleasant.
I work for the daycare in our organization, which is available both to employees and the general public. Jane works in an unrelated department. Today, it came to my attention that Jane has been spreading rumors about me not only within the organization, but also to parents of the children I watch (some internal employees, some general public). I've noticed some of the parents treating me differently, though I don't know what the rumor is.
I also applied for an internal job; Jane apparently spoke to the hiring manager, absent either my request or hers, and said I would not be a good fit, though I suspect far less politely.
Feeling hurt, frustrated, and betrayed, my first instinct was to go to HR, though it occurred to me that this can quickly devolve into a "he-said-she-said". My other thought was to confront the some of the parents who have been treating me differently to see why Jane has said about me. While I have not asked my manager about this, I suspect this sort of interaction would be out-of-bounds, and so have not followed through.
What can I do to counter this problem so that I can progress in my career with the company and improve my relationship with my clients (the parents of the children I watch)?
professionalism communication clients
edited Jul 14 '16 at 20:29
IDrinkandIKnowThings
43.7k1397187
asked Jul 14 '16 at 3:41
agentroadkill
979613
I have a coworker (Jane) who works for the same, medium-sized organization I do. Jane and I have known each other for quite some time, though we were never more than acquaintances, our last interaction several months ago was pleasant.
I work for the daycare in our organization, which is available both to employees and the general public. Jane works in an unrelated department. Today, it came to my attention that Jane has been spreading rumors about me not only within the organization, but also to parents of the children I watch (some internal employees, some general public). I've noticed some of the parents treating me differently, though I don't know what the rumor is.
I also applied for an internal job; Jane apparently spoke to the hiring manager, absent either my request or hers, and said I would not be a good fit, though I suspect far less politely.
Feeling hurt, frustrated, and betrayed, my first instinct was to go to HR, though it occurred to me that this can quickly devolve into a "he-said-she-said". My other thought was to confront the some of the parents who have been treating me differently to see why Jane has said about me. While I have not asked my manager about this, I suspect this sort of interaction would be out-of-bounds, and so have not followed through.
What can I do to counter this problem so that I can progress in my career with the company and improve my relationship with my clients (the parents of the children I watch)?
professionalism communication clients
edited Jul 14 '16 at 20:29
IDrinkandIKnowThings
43.7k1397187
asked Jul 14 '16 at 3:41
agentroadkill
979613
edited Jul 14 '16 at 20:29
IDrinkandIKnowThings
43.7k1397187
edited Jul 14 '16 at 20:29
IDrinkandIKnowThings
43.7k1397187
edited Jul 14 '16 at 20:29
IDrinkandIKnowThings
43.7k1397187
43.7k1397187
asked Jul 14 '16 at 3:41
agentroadkill
979613
asked Jul 14 '16 at 3:41
agentroadkill
979613
asked Jul 14 '16 at 3:41
agentroadkill
979613
979613
closed as off-topic by gnat, Chris E, paparazzo, Rory Alsop, Michael Grubey Jul 20 '16 at 4:41
This question appears to be off-topic. The users who voted to close gave this specific reason:
- "Real questions have answers. Rather than explaining why your situation is terrible, or why your boss/coworker makes you unhappy, explain what you want to do to make it better. For more information, click here." – gnat, Chris E, paparazzo, Rory Alsop, Michael Grubey
closed as off-topic by gnat, Chris E, paparazzo, Rory Alsop, Michael Grubey Jul 20 '16 at 4:41
This question appears to be off-topic. The users who voted to close gave this specific reason:
- "Real questions have answers. Rather than explaining why your situation is terrible, or why your boss/coworker makes you unhappy, explain what you want to do to make it better. For more information, click here." – gnat, Chris E, paparazzo, Rory Alsop, Michael Grubey
2
Now this is HR territory.
– Lilienthal♦
Jul 14 '16 at 6:36
What country are you in?
– Radu Murzea
Jul 14 '16 at 6:55
3
You know she is spreading rumors but you don't know the rumor. Just how to you know she is spreading rumors?
– paparazzo
Jul 14 '16 at 9:00
@RaduMurzea this is the US, thank you.
– agentroadkill
Jul 14 '16 at 9:18
1
@agentroadkill - I kind of described what normal would be in workplace terms to prevent the question from being closed. Normal is a very subjective term. This kind of spelled out what normal would be based on the problems listed in the question (promotion blocked, coworkers treating you differently)
– IDrinkandIKnowThings
Jul 15 '16 at 3:15
 |Â
show 5 more comments
2
Now this is HR territory.
– Lilienthal♦
Jul 14 '16 at 6:36
What country are you in?
– Radu Murzea
Jul 14 '16 at 6:55
3
You know she is spreading rumors but you don't know the rumor. Just how to you know she is spreading rumors?
– paparazzo
Jul 14 '16 at 9:00
@RaduMurzea this is the US, thank you.
– agentroadkill
Jul 14 '16 at 9:18
1
@agentroadkill - I kind of described what normal would be in workplace terms to prevent the question from being closed. Normal is a very subjective term. This kind of spelled out what normal would be based on the problems listed in the question (promotion blocked, coworkers treating you differently)
– IDrinkandIKnowThings
Jul 15 '16 at 3:15
2
2
Now this is HR territory.
– Lilienthal♦
Jul 14 '16 at 6:36
Now this is HR territory.
– Lilienthal♦
Jul 14 '16 at 6:36
What country are you in?
– Radu Murzea
Jul 14 '16 at 6:55
What country are you in?
– Radu Murzea
Jul 14 '16 at 6:55
3
3
You know she is spreading rumors but you don't know the rumor. Just how to you know she is spreading rumors?
– paparazzo
Jul 14 '16 at 9:00
You know she is spreading rumors but you don't know the rumor. Just how to you know she is spreading rumors?
– paparazzo
Jul 14 '16 at 9:00
@RaduMurzea this is the US, thank you.
– agentroadkill
Jul 14 '16 at 9:18
@RaduMurzea this is the US, thank you.
– agentroadkill
Jul 14 '16 at 9:18
1
1
@agentroadkill - I kind of described what normal would be in workplace terms to prevent the question from being closed. Normal is a very subjective term. This kind of spelled out what normal would be based on the problems listed in the question (promotion blocked, coworkers treating you differently)
– IDrinkandIKnowThings
Jul 15 '16 at 3:15
@agentroadkill - I kind of described what normal would be in workplace terms to prevent the question from being closed. Normal is a very subjective term. This kind of spelled out what normal would be based on the problems listed in the question (promotion blocked, coworkers treating you differently)
– IDrinkandIKnowThings
Jul 15 '16 at 3:15
 |Â
show 5 more comments
2 Answers
2
active
oldest
votes
up vote
5
down vote
I am not in HR, but I am sure "you" should immediately go to HR and explain the situation. This woman is hurting your reputation and the companies by spreading negative information. HR should investigate and talk with her and the parents to see what is going on and take appropriate action. It is not her place to spread negative information even if it was true.
answered Jul 14 '16 at 4:18
Keltari
1,83621218
1
What will help you with HR is that the woman is hurting the company's reputation with customers.
– gnasher729
Jul 15 '16 at 8:04
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
3
down vote
If there is a parent that you have been friendly with, go to them and explain that you suspect that someone is speaking badly about you and ask them if they have heard anything. What you do not want to do is make a big deal out of it.
I would also speak to the manager for the position you applied for. I would not mention Jane and what she may have/did totally say, but instead approach it as what can I do to be better suited for this job in the future. That answer may give you a idea of what he was told.
answered Jul 14 '16 at 13:25
JasonJ
6,47041334
suggest improvements |Â
2 Answers
2
active
oldest
votes
2 Answers
2
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
up vote
5
down vote
I am not in HR, but I am sure "you" should immediately go to HR and explain the situation. This woman is hurting your reputation and the companies by spreading negative information. HR should investigate and talk with her and the parents to see what is going on and take appropriate action. It is not her place to spread negative information even if it was true.
answered Jul 14 '16 at 4:18
Keltari
1,83621218
1
What will help you with HR is that the woman is hurting the company's reputation with customers.
– gnasher729
Jul 15 '16 at 8:04
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
5
down vote
I am not in HR, but I am sure "you" should immediately go to HR and explain the situation. This woman is hurting your reputation and the companies by spreading negative information. HR should investigate and talk with her and the parents to see what is going on and take appropriate action. It is not her place to spread negative information even if it was true.
answered Jul 14 '16 at 4:18
Keltari
1,83621218
1
What will help you with HR is that the woman is hurting the company's reputation with customers.
– gnasher729
Jul 15 '16 at 8:04
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
5
down vote
up vote
5
down vote
I am not in HR, but I am sure "you" should immediately go to HR and explain the situation. This woman is hurting your reputation and the companies by spreading negative information. HR should investigate and talk with her and the parents to see what is going on and take appropriate action. It is not her place to spread negative information even if it was true.
answered Jul 14 '16 at 4:18
Keltari
1,83621218
I am not in HR, but I am sure "you" should immediately go to HR and explain the situation. This woman is hurting your reputation and the companies by spreading negative information. HR should investigate and talk with her and the parents to see what is going on and take appropriate action. It is not her place to spread negative information even if it was true.
answered Jul 14 '16 at 4:18
Keltari
1,83621218
answered Jul 14 '16 at 4:18
Keltari
1,83621218
answered Jul 14 '16 at 4:18
Keltari
1,83621218
answered Jul 14 '16 at 4:18
Keltari
1,83621218
1,83621218
1
What will help you with HR is that the woman is hurting the company's reputation with customers.
– gnasher729
Jul 15 '16 at 8:04
suggest improvements |Â
1
What will help you with HR is that the woman is hurting the company's reputation with customers.
– gnasher729
Jul 15 '16 at 8:04
1
1
What will help you with HR is that the woman is hurting the company's reputation with customers.
– gnasher729
Jul 15 '16 at 8:04
What will help you with HR is that the woman is hurting the company's reputation with customers.
– gnasher729
Jul 15 '16 at 8:04
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
3
down vote
If there is a parent that you have been friendly with, go to them and explain that you suspect that someone is speaking badly about you and ask them if they have heard anything. What you do not want to do is make a big deal out of it.
I would also speak to the manager for the position you applied for. I would not mention Jane and what she may have/did totally say, but instead approach it as what can I do to be better suited for this job in the future. That answer may give you a idea of what he was told.
answered Jul 14 '16 at 13:25
JasonJ
6,47041334
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
3
down vote
If there is a parent that you have been friendly with, go to them and explain that you suspect that someone is speaking badly about you and ask them if they have heard anything. What you do not want to do is make a big deal out of it.
I would also speak to the manager for the position you applied for. I would not mention Jane and what she may have/did totally say, but instead approach it as what can I do to be better suited for this job in the future. That answer may give you a idea of what he was told.
answered Jul 14 '16 at 13:25
JasonJ
6,47041334
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
3
down vote
up vote
3
down vote
If there is a parent that you have been friendly with, go to them and explain that you suspect that someone is speaking badly about you and ask them if they have heard anything. What you do not want to do is make a big deal out of it.
I would also speak to the manager for the position you applied for. I would not mention Jane and what she may have/did totally say, but instead approach it as what can I do to be better suited for this job in the future. That answer may give you a idea of what he was told.
answered Jul 14 '16 at 13:25
JasonJ
6,47041334
If there is a parent that you have been friendly with, go to them and explain that you suspect that someone is speaking badly about you and ask them if they have heard anything. What you do not want to do is make a big deal out of it.
I would also speak to the manager for the position you applied for. I would not mention Jane and what she may have/did totally say, but instead approach it as what can I do to be better suited for this job in the future. That answer may give you a idea of what he was told.
answered Jul 14 '16 at 13:25
JasonJ
6,47041334
answered Jul 14 '16 at 13:25
JasonJ
6,47041334
answered Jul 14 '16 at 13:25
JasonJ
6,47041334
answered Jul 14 '16 at 13:25
JasonJ
6,47041334
6,47041334
suggest improvements |Â
suggest improvements |Â
2
Now this is HR territory.
– Lilienthal♦
Jul 14 '16 at 6:36
What country are you in?
– Radu Murzea
Jul 14 '16 at 6:55
3
You know she is spreading rumors but you don't know the rumor. Just how to you know she is spreading rumors?
– paparazzo
Jul 14 '16 at 9:00
@RaduMurzea this is the US, thank you.
– agentroadkill
Jul 14 '16 at 9:18
1
@agentroadkill - I kind of described what normal would be in workplace terms to prevent the question from being closed. Normal is a very subjective term. This kind of spelled out what normal would be based on the problems listed in the question (promotion blocked, coworkers treating you differently)
– IDrinkandIKnowThings
Jul 15 '16 at 3:15