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Co-leader quit in anger, now says “it doesn't countâ€: how to enforce [closed]
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I am a co-leader with another person on a group project. Today she said "I quit. I'll tell our supervisor." I went ahead and talked to our supervisor informing them of this. Also I sent an email to her saying I would remove her from the group chat, email permissions, etc. by the end of the day.
She responded with: "Sorry! Those were words of anger, and since we haven't followed the process of resigning anyways it doesn't count." The supervisor seems fine with this.
It is true that we did not follow a resignation protocol. In part because we don't have one. I had written up protocol earlier, which she initially approved, then "un-approved" because she hadn't actually read it.
I would very much like to not have her in the group anymore because she gets very angry and is generally just a pain to work with.
She said she quit. How do I enforce it?
resignation quitting company-policy conflict
edited Nov 6 '14 at 16:18
NotMe
20.9k55695
asked Nov 5 '14 at 21:51
randomperson
522
closed as off-topic by Joe Strazzere, gnat, IDrinkandIKnowThings, Jan Doggen, Telastyn Nov 6 '14 at 14:27
- This question does not appear to be about the workplace within the scope defined in the help center.
 |Â
show 3 more comments
up vote
9
down vote
favorite
I am a co-leader with another person on a group project. Today she said "I quit. I'll tell our supervisor." I went ahead and talked to our supervisor informing them of this. Also I sent an email to her saying I would remove her from the group chat, email permissions, etc. by the end of the day.
She responded with: "Sorry! Those were words of anger, and since we haven't followed the process of resigning anyways it doesn't count." The supervisor seems fine with this.
It is true that we did not follow a resignation protocol. In part because we don't have one. I had written up protocol earlier, which she initially approved, then "un-approved" because she hadn't actually read it.
I would very much like to not have her in the group anymore because she gets very angry and is generally just a pain to work with.
She said she quit. How do I enforce it?
resignation quitting company-policy conflict
edited Nov 6 '14 at 16:18
NotMe
20.9k55695
asked Nov 5 '14 at 21:51
randomperson
522
closed as off-topic by Joe Strazzere, gnat, IDrinkandIKnowThings, Jan Doggen, Telastyn Nov 6 '14 at 14:27
- This question does not appear to be about the workplace within the scope defined in the help center.
6
Have you talked to your advisors about your side of this situation? You probably won't be able to force her to quit, but they might be able to help with dealing with her personality and how to handle future situations like this.
– David K
Nov 5 '14 at 22:00
11
Talk to the advisors and tell them what you said her about her anger management and how hard it is to work with her. Tell them you want the resignation to be enforced. Be ready to quit yourself if they won't tell her that she is gone and you no longer care to work with her. Never ever let anyone persuade you to a job shared with someone else again. There is no good result from two people sharing being in charge.
– HLGEM
Nov 5 '14 at 22:02
@JoeStrazzere - it is a "job" in that I had to apply and was hired, but it is an unpaid position in a school club and we are both grade 12 students. @ HLGEM I have no idea how to vote your reply as the best (? is this a thing ?) but this is what I will do. I have off until Monday so there is time to formulate my response perfectly. Thank you so much!
– randomperson
Nov 6 '14 at 0:16
3
The most practical way to enforce this is to refuse to work with her, by quitting yourself. Otherwise I suspect you will have to play nicely with others, even if you don't like them.
– Móż
Nov 6 '14 at 0:33
1
It would not be a fit for academics. The underlying issue is how to deal with a troublesome coworker and remove them from a team when you have no authority to do so. I've revamped the question slightly so that it fits here.
– NotMe
Nov 6 '14 at 16:19
 |Â
show 3 more comments
up vote
9
down vote
favorite
up vote
9
down vote
favorite
I am a co-leader with another person on a group project. Today she said "I quit. I'll tell our supervisor." I went ahead and talked to our supervisor informing them of this. Also I sent an email to her saying I would remove her from the group chat, email permissions, etc. by the end of the day.
She responded with: "Sorry! Those were words of anger, and since we haven't followed the process of resigning anyways it doesn't count." The supervisor seems fine with this.
It is true that we did not follow a resignation protocol. In part because we don't have one. I had written up protocol earlier, which she initially approved, then "un-approved" because she hadn't actually read it.
I would very much like to not have her in the group anymore because she gets very angry and is generally just a pain to work with.
She said she quit. How do I enforce it?
resignation quitting company-policy conflict
edited Nov 6 '14 at 16:18
NotMe
20.9k55695
asked Nov 5 '14 at 21:51
randomperson
522
I am a co-leader with another person on a group project. Today she said "I quit. I'll tell our supervisor." I went ahead and talked to our supervisor informing them of this. Also I sent an email to her saying I would remove her from the group chat, email permissions, etc. by the end of the day.
She responded with: "Sorry! Those were words of anger, and since we haven't followed the process of resigning anyways it doesn't count." The supervisor seems fine with this.
It is true that we did not follow a resignation protocol. In part because we don't have one. I had written up protocol earlier, which she initially approved, then "un-approved" because she hadn't actually read it.
I would very much like to not have her in the group anymore because she gets very angry and is generally just a pain to work with.
She said she quit. How do I enforce it?
resignation quitting company-policy conflict
edited Nov 6 '14 at 16:18
NotMe
20.9k55695
asked Nov 5 '14 at 21:51
randomperson
522
edited Nov 6 '14 at 16:18
NotMe
20.9k55695
edited Nov 6 '14 at 16:18
NotMe
20.9k55695
edited Nov 6 '14 at 16:18
NotMe
20.9k55695
20.9k55695
asked Nov 5 '14 at 21:51
randomperson
522
asked Nov 5 '14 at 21:51
randomperson
522
asked Nov 5 '14 at 21:51
randomperson
522
522
closed as off-topic by Joe Strazzere, gnat, IDrinkandIKnowThings, Jan Doggen, Telastyn Nov 6 '14 at 14:27
- This question does not appear to be about the workplace within the scope defined in the help center.
closed as off-topic by Joe Strazzere, gnat, IDrinkandIKnowThings, Jan Doggen, Telastyn Nov 6 '14 at 14:27
- This question does not appear to be about the workplace within the scope defined in the help center.
6
Have you talked to your advisors about your side of this situation? You probably won't be able to force her to quit, but they might be able to help with dealing with her personality and how to handle future situations like this.
– David K
Nov 5 '14 at 22:00
11
Talk to the advisors and tell them what you said her about her anger management and how hard it is to work with her. Tell them you want the resignation to be enforced. Be ready to quit yourself if they won't tell her that she is gone and you no longer care to work with her. Never ever let anyone persuade you to a job shared with someone else again. There is no good result from two people sharing being in charge.
– HLGEM
Nov 5 '14 at 22:02
@JoeStrazzere - it is a "job" in that I had to apply and was hired, but it is an unpaid position in a school club and we are both grade 12 students. @ HLGEM I have no idea how to vote your reply as the best (? is this a thing ?) but this is what I will do. I have off until Monday so there is time to formulate my response perfectly. Thank you so much!
– randomperson
Nov 6 '14 at 0:16
3
The most practical way to enforce this is to refuse to work with her, by quitting yourself. Otherwise I suspect you will have to play nicely with others, even if you don't like them.
– Móż
Nov 6 '14 at 0:33
1
It would not be a fit for academics. The underlying issue is how to deal with a troublesome coworker and remove them from a team when you have no authority to do so. I've revamped the question slightly so that it fits here.
– NotMe
Nov 6 '14 at 16:19
 |Â
show 3 more comments
6
Have you talked to your advisors about your side of this situation? You probably won't be able to force her to quit, but they might be able to help with dealing with her personality and how to handle future situations like this.
– David K
Nov 5 '14 at 22:00
11
Talk to the advisors and tell them what you said her about her anger management and how hard it is to work with her. Tell them you want the resignation to be enforced. Be ready to quit yourself if they won't tell her that she is gone and you no longer care to work with her. Never ever let anyone persuade you to a job shared with someone else again. There is no good result from two people sharing being in charge.
– HLGEM
Nov 5 '14 at 22:02
@JoeStrazzere - it is a "job" in that I had to apply and was hired, but it is an unpaid position in a school club and we are both grade 12 students. @ HLGEM I have no idea how to vote your reply as the best (? is this a thing ?) but this is what I will do. I have off until Monday so there is time to formulate my response perfectly. Thank you so much!
– randomperson
Nov 6 '14 at 0:16
3
The most practical way to enforce this is to refuse to work with her, by quitting yourself. Otherwise I suspect you will have to play nicely with others, even if you don't like them.
– Móż
Nov 6 '14 at 0:33
1
It would not be a fit for academics. The underlying issue is how to deal with a troublesome coworker and remove them from a team when you have no authority to do so. I've revamped the question slightly so that it fits here.
– NotMe
Nov 6 '14 at 16:19
6
6
Have you talked to your advisors about your side of this situation? You probably won't be able to force her to quit, but they might be able to help with dealing with her personality and how to handle future situations like this.
– David K
Nov 5 '14 at 22:00
Have you talked to your advisors about your side of this situation? You probably won't be able to force her to quit, but they might be able to help with dealing with her personality and how to handle future situations like this.
– David K
Nov 5 '14 at 22:00
11
11
Talk to the advisors and tell them what you said her about her anger management and how hard it is to work with her. Tell them you want the resignation to be enforced. Be ready to quit yourself if they won't tell her that she is gone and you no longer care to work with her. Never ever let anyone persuade you to a job shared with someone else again. There is no good result from two people sharing being in charge.
– HLGEM
Nov 5 '14 at 22:02
Talk to the advisors and tell them what you said her about her anger management and how hard it is to work with her. Tell them you want the resignation to be enforced. Be ready to quit yourself if they won't tell her that she is gone and you no longer care to work with her. Never ever let anyone persuade you to a job shared with someone else again. There is no good result from two people sharing being in charge.
– HLGEM
Nov 5 '14 at 22:02
@JoeStrazzere - it is a "job" in that I had to apply and was hired, but it is an unpaid position in a school club and we are both grade 12 students. @ HLGEM I have no idea how to vote your reply as the best (? is this a thing ?) but this is what I will do. I have off until Monday so there is time to formulate my response perfectly. Thank you so much!
– randomperson
Nov 6 '14 at 0:16
@JoeStrazzere - it is a "job" in that I had to apply and was hired, but it is an unpaid position in a school club and we are both grade 12 students. @ HLGEM I have no idea how to vote your reply as the best (? is this a thing ?) but this is what I will do. I have off until Monday so there is time to formulate my response perfectly. Thank you so much!
– randomperson
Nov 6 '14 at 0:16
3
3
The most practical way to enforce this is to refuse to work with her, by quitting yourself. Otherwise I suspect you will have to play nicely with others, even if you don't like them.
– Móż
Nov 6 '14 at 0:33
The most practical way to enforce this is to refuse to work with her, by quitting yourself. Otherwise I suspect you will have to play nicely with others, even if you don't like them.
– Móż
Nov 6 '14 at 0:33
1
1
It would not be a fit for academics. The underlying issue is how to deal with a troublesome coworker and remove them from a team when you have no authority to do so. I've revamped the question slightly so that it fits here.
– NotMe
Nov 6 '14 at 16:19
It would not be a fit for academics. The underlying issue is how to deal with a troublesome coworker and remove them from a team when you have no authority to do so. I've revamped the question slightly so that it fits here.
– NotMe
Nov 6 '14 at 16:19
 |Â
show 3 more comments
2 Answers
2
active
oldest
votes
up vote
12
down vote
It sounds like you do not have the authority to enforce her removal. Nor did she actually quit her role, unless your approved / unapproved policy states all that is required for a resignation to be effective is a verbal "I quit!" -- without having it in writing or more then one witness. Your co-editor had an outburst, but she did not follow through and inform your advisors -- instead you did. In hindsight, it looks like you jumped the gun.
I would advise you to approach this with an open mindset. This is an opportunity to practice real leadership and discover your personal style of leadership.
Have a sit down meeting as soon as possible with your co-editor and an impartial mediator you both trust and respect (could be one of your advisors -- doesn't have to be).
Let her know you're sorry the project is a frustrating experience; let her know you are frustrated too (I imagine you truly are).
Ask her if the two of you can make a set of simple agreements for how you will conduct yourself as partners going forward.
Tell her you want the project to be a success. If you can see your way to saying you want her to be a part of that success then tell her that too, but don't lie. Dishonesty unravels the process.
If she plays it off as unnecessary, make the case: this is something that will help you know how to work with her, and help the two of you lead your team.
Do your best not to cast blame or sound hostile -- that will bring out defensive "bunker" behavior and you won't see any significant progress.
Also be prepared to rise above any attempts by her to bait you. You're not here to engage in argument. Your goal is to discover and write down that simple list of agreements.
When I say simple, I mean you could write it on a 3x5 card and keep it in your pocket:
- We make decisions together and we stick to them. If a decision needs to be re-visited, we ASK our partner before reneging on a commitment.
- Editors do not yell at each other or people on our team. If one of us needs to leave the conversation and cool our head, that's fine.
- Breaking our agreements has consequences. If one of us does that, we meet with our advisors to discuss why and what happens next.
The most important part: be willing to listen.
Be open to learning her point of view. There may be ways you are contributing to the situation that you are not aware of. If that turns out to be the case, great! Things that your are doing are the only things in your control. Once you discover them, you can do something about them.
This does not mean it is your job to "fix" her. But it is your job to work with her. You will undoubtedly encounter more people like her in your life and endeavors. You might as practice how to handle that now.
Ultimately, if she keeps her agreements with you, then awesome! You have a functional partner.
If she doesn't and slides back into flip-flop waffling behavior, you are now in a strong position to press for her resignation in a way your advisors can support and your team can get behind.
answered Nov 6 '14 at 8:32
remyActual
1514
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
2
down vote
In the "real" world you will face social challenges. Considering the reality that you often can't change other people, you have to look at the things you can control.
In your situation, the main thing you can control is how you respond to this person's actions. So I'd recommend that you first discuss the problem with your co-EIC and try to arrive at a solution. Also try to ignore the outbursts and tirades while focusing on the task at hand.
If this is not possible, either due to your own inability to control your response or because the outbursts continue to interfere with your work, then you need to escalate. This means that you should contact the advisors and inform them of the situation while asking for their advice on how to handle it. After all, that is what they are there for.
I would expect that the advisors would have a private discussion with your co-EIC. They would likely explain that she needs to gain control of her actions and, hopefully, place her on a kind of notice that she will lose her position if it continues. They might even have a discussion with both of you together to see if there is some other underlying issue. At this point you should maintain your position while continuing to perform your duties. If the outbursts continue, escalate again at which point the advisors should remove her from her role.
However, if the advisors take no action at all, then you have very few choices left. Either try to continue working around the outbursts or simply excuse yourself from the position while politely and unemotionally informing them that you are unwilling to work in a hostile environment.
The main thing here is that you should try to take this as a personal challenge to learn how to work with difficult people. The co-EIC is unlikely to be the last person you will meet that has this issue.
answered Nov 6 '14 at 2:26
NotMe
20.9k55695
suggest improvements |Â
2 Answers
2
active
oldest
votes
2 Answers
2
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
up vote
12
down vote
It sounds like you do not have the authority to enforce her removal. Nor did she actually quit her role, unless your approved / unapproved policy states all that is required for a resignation to be effective is a verbal "I quit!" -- without having it in writing or more then one witness. Your co-editor had an outburst, but she did not follow through and inform your advisors -- instead you did. In hindsight, it looks like you jumped the gun.
I would advise you to approach this with an open mindset. This is an opportunity to practice real leadership and discover your personal style of leadership.
Have a sit down meeting as soon as possible with your co-editor and an impartial mediator you both trust and respect (could be one of your advisors -- doesn't have to be).
Let her know you're sorry the project is a frustrating experience; let her know you are frustrated too (I imagine you truly are).
Ask her if the two of you can make a set of simple agreements for how you will conduct yourself as partners going forward.
Tell her you want the project to be a success. If you can see your way to saying you want her to be a part of that success then tell her that too, but don't lie. Dishonesty unravels the process.
If she plays it off as unnecessary, make the case: this is something that will help you know how to work with her, and help the two of you lead your team.
Do your best not to cast blame or sound hostile -- that will bring out defensive "bunker" behavior and you won't see any significant progress.
Also be prepared to rise above any attempts by her to bait you. You're not here to engage in argument. Your goal is to discover and write down that simple list of agreements.
When I say simple, I mean you could write it on a 3x5 card and keep it in your pocket:
- We make decisions together and we stick to them. If a decision needs to be re-visited, we ASK our partner before reneging on a commitment.
- Editors do not yell at each other or people on our team. If one of us needs to leave the conversation and cool our head, that's fine.
- Breaking our agreements has consequences. If one of us does that, we meet with our advisors to discuss why and what happens next.
The most important part: be willing to listen.
Be open to learning her point of view. There may be ways you are contributing to the situation that you are not aware of. If that turns out to be the case, great! Things that your are doing are the only things in your control. Once you discover them, you can do something about them.
This does not mean it is your job to "fix" her. But it is your job to work with her. You will undoubtedly encounter more people like her in your life and endeavors. You might as practice how to handle that now.
Ultimately, if she keeps her agreements with you, then awesome! You have a functional partner.
If she doesn't and slides back into flip-flop waffling behavior, you are now in a strong position to press for her resignation in a way your advisors can support and your team can get behind.
answered Nov 6 '14 at 8:32
remyActual
1514
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
12
down vote
It sounds like you do not have the authority to enforce her removal. Nor did she actually quit her role, unless your approved / unapproved policy states all that is required for a resignation to be effective is a verbal "I quit!" -- without having it in writing or more then one witness. Your co-editor had an outburst, but she did not follow through and inform your advisors -- instead you did. In hindsight, it looks like you jumped the gun.
I would advise you to approach this with an open mindset. This is an opportunity to practice real leadership and discover your personal style of leadership.
Have a sit down meeting as soon as possible with your co-editor and an impartial mediator you both trust and respect (could be one of your advisors -- doesn't have to be).
Let her know you're sorry the project is a frustrating experience; let her know you are frustrated too (I imagine you truly are).
Ask her if the two of you can make a set of simple agreements for how you will conduct yourself as partners going forward.
Tell her you want the project to be a success. If you can see your way to saying you want her to be a part of that success then tell her that too, but don't lie. Dishonesty unravels the process.
If she plays it off as unnecessary, make the case: this is something that will help you know how to work with her, and help the two of you lead your team.
Do your best not to cast blame or sound hostile -- that will bring out defensive "bunker" behavior and you won't see any significant progress.
Also be prepared to rise above any attempts by her to bait you. You're not here to engage in argument. Your goal is to discover and write down that simple list of agreements.
When I say simple, I mean you could write it on a 3x5 card and keep it in your pocket:
- We make decisions together and we stick to them. If a decision needs to be re-visited, we ASK our partner before reneging on a commitment.
- Editors do not yell at each other or people on our team. If one of us needs to leave the conversation and cool our head, that's fine.
- Breaking our agreements has consequences. If one of us does that, we meet with our advisors to discuss why and what happens next.
The most important part: be willing to listen.
Be open to learning her point of view. There may be ways you are contributing to the situation that you are not aware of. If that turns out to be the case, great! Things that your are doing are the only things in your control. Once you discover them, you can do something about them.
This does not mean it is your job to "fix" her. But it is your job to work with her. You will undoubtedly encounter more people like her in your life and endeavors. You might as practice how to handle that now.
Ultimately, if she keeps her agreements with you, then awesome! You have a functional partner.
If she doesn't and slides back into flip-flop waffling behavior, you are now in a strong position to press for her resignation in a way your advisors can support and your team can get behind.
answered Nov 6 '14 at 8:32
remyActual
1514
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
12
down vote
up vote
12
down vote
It sounds like you do not have the authority to enforce her removal. Nor did she actually quit her role, unless your approved / unapproved policy states all that is required for a resignation to be effective is a verbal "I quit!" -- without having it in writing or more then one witness. Your co-editor had an outburst, but she did not follow through and inform your advisors -- instead you did. In hindsight, it looks like you jumped the gun.
I would advise you to approach this with an open mindset. This is an opportunity to practice real leadership and discover your personal style of leadership.
Have a sit down meeting as soon as possible with your co-editor and an impartial mediator you both trust and respect (could be one of your advisors -- doesn't have to be).
Let her know you're sorry the project is a frustrating experience; let her know you are frustrated too (I imagine you truly are).
Ask her if the two of you can make a set of simple agreements for how you will conduct yourself as partners going forward.
Tell her you want the project to be a success. If you can see your way to saying you want her to be a part of that success then tell her that too, but don't lie. Dishonesty unravels the process.
If she plays it off as unnecessary, make the case: this is something that will help you know how to work with her, and help the two of you lead your team.
Do your best not to cast blame or sound hostile -- that will bring out defensive "bunker" behavior and you won't see any significant progress.
Also be prepared to rise above any attempts by her to bait you. You're not here to engage in argument. Your goal is to discover and write down that simple list of agreements.
When I say simple, I mean you could write it on a 3x5 card and keep it in your pocket:
- We make decisions together and we stick to them. If a decision needs to be re-visited, we ASK our partner before reneging on a commitment.
- Editors do not yell at each other or people on our team. If one of us needs to leave the conversation and cool our head, that's fine.
- Breaking our agreements has consequences. If one of us does that, we meet with our advisors to discuss why and what happens next.
The most important part: be willing to listen.
Be open to learning her point of view. There may be ways you are contributing to the situation that you are not aware of. If that turns out to be the case, great! Things that your are doing are the only things in your control. Once you discover them, you can do something about them.
This does not mean it is your job to "fix" her. But it is your job to work with her. You will undoubtedly encounter more people like her in your life and endeavors. You might as practice how to handle that now.
Ultimately, if she keeps her agreements with you, then awesome! You have a functional partner.
If she doesn't and slides back into flip-flop waffling behavior, you are now in a strong position to press for her resignation in a way your advisors can support and your team can get behind.
answered Nov 6 '14 at 8:32
remyActual
1514
It sounds like you do not have the authority to enforce her removal. Nor did she actually quit her role, unless your approved / unapproved policy states all that is required for a resignation to be effective is a verbal "I quit!" -- without having it in writing or more then one witness. Your co-editor had an outburst, but she did not follow through and inform your advisors -- instead you did. In hindsight, it looks like you jumped the gun.
I would advise you to approach this with an open mindset. This is an opportunity to practice real leadership and discover your personal style of leadership.
Have a sit down meeting as soon as possible with your co-editor and an impartial mediator you both trust and respect (could be one of your advisors -- doesn't have to be).
Let her know you're sorry the project is a frustrating experience; let her know you are frustrated too (I imagine you truly are).
Ask her if the two of you can make a set of simple agreements for how you will conduct yourself as partners going forward.
Tell her you want the project to be a success. If you can see your way to saying you want her to be a part of that success then tell her that too, but don't lie. Dishonesty unravels the process.
If she plays it off as unnecessary, make the case: this is something that will help you know how to work with her, and help the two of you lead your team.
Do your best not to cast blame or sound hostile -- that will bring out defensive "bunker" behavior and you won't see any significant progress.
Also be prepared to rise above any attempts by her to bait you. You're not here to engage in argument. Your goal is to discover and write down that simple list of agreements.
When I say simple, I mean you could write it on a 3x5 card and keep it in your pocket:
- We make decisions together and we stick to them. If a decision needs to be re-visited, we ASK our partner before reneging on a commitment.
- Editors do not yell at each other or people on our team. If one of us needs to leave the conversation and cool our head, that's fine.
- Breaking our agreements has consequences. If one of us does that, we meet with our advisors to discuss why and what happens next.
The most important part: be willing to listen.
Be open to learning her point of view. There may be ways you are contributing to the situation that you are not aware of. If that turns out to be the case, great! Things that your are doing are the only things in your control. Once you discover them, you can do something about them.
This does not mean it is your job to "fix" her. But it is your job to work with her. You will undoubtedly encounter more people like her in your life and endeavors. You might as practice how to handle that now.
Ultimately, if she keeps her agreements with you, then awesome! You have a functional partner.
If she doesn't and slides back into flip-flop waffling behavior, you are now in a strong position to press for her resignation in a way your advisors can support and your team can get behind.
answered Nov 6 '14 at 8:32
remyActual
1514
answered Nov 6 '14 at 8:32
remyActual
1514
answered Nov 6 '14 at 8:32
remyActual
1514
answered Nov 6 '14 at 8:32
remyActual
1514
1514
suggest improvements |Â
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
2
down vote
In the "real" world you will face social challenges. Considering the reality that you often can't change other people, you have to look at the things you can control.
In your situation, the main thing you can control is how you respond to this person's actions. So I'd recommend that you first discuss the problem with your co-EIC and try to arrive at a solution. Also try to ignore the outbursts and tirades while focusing on the task at hand.
If this is not possible, either due to your own inability to control your response or because the outbursts continue to interfere with your work, then you need to escalate. This means that you should contact the advisors and inform them of the situation while asking for their advice on how to handle it. After all, that is what they are there for.
I would expect that the advisors would have a private discussion with your co-EIC. They would likely explain that she needs to gain control of her actions and, hopefully, place her on a kind of notice that she will lose her position if it continues. They might even have a discussion with both of you together to see if there is some other underlying issue. At this point you should maintain your position while continuing to perform your duties. If the outbursts continue, escalate again at which point the advisors should remove her from her role.
However, if the advisors take no action at all, then you have very few choices left. Either try to continue working around the outbursts or simply excuse yourself from the position while politely and unemotionally informing them that you are unwilling to work in a hostile environment.
The main thing here is that you should try to take this as a personal challenge to learn how to work with difficult people. The co-EIC is unlikely to be the last person you will meet that has this issue.
answered Nov 6 '14 at 2:26
NotMe
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In the "real" world you will face social challenges. Considering the reality that you often can't change other people, you have to look at the things you can control.
In your situation, the main thing you can control is how you respond to this person's actions. So I'd recommend that you first discuss the problem with your co-EIC and try to arrive at a solution. Also try to ignore the outbursts and tirades while focusing on the task at hand.
If this is not possible, either due to your own inability to control your response or because the outbursts continue to interfere with your work, then you need to escalate. This means that you should contact the advisors and inform them of the situation while asking for their advice on how to handle it. After all, that is what they are there for.
I would expect that the advisors would have a private discussion with your co-EIC. They would likely explain that she needs to gain control of her actions and, hopefully, place her on a kind of notice that she will lose her position if it continues. They might even have a discussion with both of you together to see if there is some other underlying issue. At this point you should maintain your position while continuing to perform your duties. If the outbursts continue, escalate again at which point the advisors should remove her from her role.
However, if the advisors take no action at all, then you have very few choices left. Either try to continue working around the outbursts or simply excuse yourself from the position while politely and unemotionally informing them that you are unwilling to work in a hostile environment.
The main thing here is that you should try to take this as a personal challenge to learn how to work with difficult people. The co-EIC is unlikely to be the last person you will meet that has this issue.
answered Nov 6 '14 at 2:26
NotMe
20.9k55695
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
2
down vote
up vote
2
down vote
In the "real" world you will face social challenges. Considering the reality that you often can't change other people, you have to look at the things you can control.
In your situation, the main thing you can control is how you respond to this person's actions. So I'd recommend that you first discuss the problem with your co-EIC and try to arrive at a solution. Also try to ignore the outbursts and tirades while focusing on the task at hand.
If this is not possible, either due to your own inability to control your response or because the outbursts continue to interfere with your work, then you need to escalate. This means that you should contact the advisors and inform them of the situation while asking for their advice on how to handle it. After all, that is what they are there for.
I would expect that the advisors would have a private discussion with your co-EIC. They would likely explain that she needs to gain control of her actions and, hopefully, place her on a kind of notice that she will lose her position if it continues. They might even have a discussion with both of you together to see if there is some other underlying issue. At this point you should maintain your position while continuing to perform your duties. If the outbursts continue, escalate again at which point the advisors should remove her from her role.
However, if the advisors take no action at all, then you have very few choices left. Either try to continue working around the outbursts or simply excuse yourself from the position while politely and unemotionally informing them that you are unwilling to work in a hostile environment.
The main thing here is that you should try to take this as a personal challenge to learn how to work with difficult people. The co-EIC is unlikely to be the last person you will meet that has this issue.
answered Nov 6 '14 at 2:26
NotMe
20.9k55695
In the "real" world you will face social challenges. Considering the reality that you often can't change other people, you have to look at the things you can control.
In your situation, the main thing you can control is how you respond to this person's actions. So I'd recommend that you first discuss the problem with your co-EIC and try to arrive at a solution. Also try to ignore the outbursts and tirades while focusing on the task at hand.
If this is not possible, either due to your own inability to control your response or because the outbursts continue to interfere with your work, then you need to escalate. This means that you should contact the advisors and inform them of the situation while asking for their advice on how to handle it. After all, that is what they are there for.
I would expect that the advisors would have a private discussion with your co-EIC. They would likely explain that she needs to gain control of her actions and, hopefully, place her on a kind of notice that she will lose her position if it continues. They might even have a discussion with both of you together to see if there is some other underlying issue. At this point you should maintain your position while continuing to perform your duties. If the outbursts continue, escalate again at which point the advisors should remove her from her role.
However, if the advisors take no action at all, then you have very few choices left. Either try to continue working around the outbursts or simply excuse yourself from the position while politely and unemotionally informing them that you are unwilling to work in a hostile environment.
The main thing here is that you should try to take this as a personal challenge to learn how to work with difficult people. The co-EIC is unlikely to be the last person you will meet that has this issue.
answered Nov 6 '14 at 2:26
NotMe
20.9k55695
answered Nov 6 '14 at 2:26
NotMe
20.9k55695
answered Nov 6 '14 at 2:26
NotMe
20.9k55695
answered Nov 6 '14 at 2:26
NotMe
20.9k55695
20.9k55695
suggest improvements |Â
suggest improvements |Â
6
Have you talked to your advisors about your side of this situation? You probably won't be able to force her to quit, but they might be able to help with dealing with her personality and how to handle future situations like this.
– David K
Nov 5 '14 at 22:00
11
Talk to the advisors and tell them what you said her about her anger management and how hard it is to work with her. Tell them you want the resignation to be enforced. Be ready to quit yourself if they won't tell her that she is gone and you no longer care to work with her. Never ever let anyone persuade you to a job shared with someone else again. There is no good result from two people sharing being in charge.
– HLGEM
Nov 5 '14 at 22:02
@JoeStrazzere - it is a "job" in that I had to apply and was hired, but it is an unpaid position in a school club and we are both grade 12 students. @ HLGEM I have no idea how to vote your reply as the best (? is this a thing ?) but this is what I will do. I have off until Monday so there is time to formulate my response perfectly. Thank you so much!
– randomperson
Nov 6 '14 at 0:16
3
The most practical way to enforce this is to refuse to work with her, by quitting yourself. Otherwise I suspect you will have to play nicely with others, even if you don't like them.
– Móż
Nov 6 '14 at 0:33
1
It would not be a fit for academics. The underlying issue is how to deal with a troublesome coworker and remove them from a team when you have no authority to do so. I've revamped the question slightly so that it fits here.
– NotMe
Nov 6 '14 at 16:19