Should I disconnect from a past colleague on LinkedIn when a relationship has gone sour?

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Despite my efforts at maintaining a professional and positive relationship while resigning from a job, I've recently been informed by past colleagues that my past employer has been saying a lot of negative things about me - basically blaming me for everything that is wrong with their company. It's not surprising to me as I realized before I decided to leave that there was a significant lack of professionalism and inability to accept fault among the company leaders, and by the time I left I had severely lost respect and trust in the company management.



I'm worried that they will find a way to sabotage future opportunities for me, or even just that they will find any opportunity to dispute my accomplishments at their company. I would prefer for them not to be able to see my LinkedIn profile at all anymore, although I don't want to disconnect from connections that we share.



Should I disconnect with them on LinkedIn? Will that have any effect? Are there other things I should be concerned about that they could do to damage my reputation in the digital world?



I should add that while I worked with software in both places, they are in an only tangentially related vertical to the one I'm in now, and do not consider themselves a software company, so they are unlikely to share colleagues or go to the same industry events in the future. It's more a concern that they would ever, out of malice, actively reach out to people in my network, although I think their tendency towards inaction makes this unlikely.







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  • 1




    Removing the person from your network would make someone viewing your LI profile less likely to find out about said slanderer.
    – Hydrangea
    Jun 5 '12 at 15:42










  • I would agrue that it is your choice if you want to be connected to this company and anyone who worked there. It is your resume or Linkedin Profile in this case. You have the ability to have them be references or just have the company listed as a company you worked for. When asked if you can contact your supervisor at said company, explain the reasons this is not possible ( don't tell the reason you suspect ) but some sort of neutral explaination.
    – Ramhound
    Jun 6 '12 at 11:24
















up vote
20
down vote

favorite
3












Despite my efforts at maintaining a professional and positive relationship while resigning from a job, I've recently been informed by past colleagues that my past employer has been saying a lot of negative things about me - basically blaming me for everything that is wrong with their company. It's not surprising to me as I realized before I decided to leave that there was a significant lack of professionalism and inability to accept fault among the company leaders, and by the time I left I had severely lost respect and trust in the company management.



I'm worried that they will find a way to sabotage future opportunities for me, or even just that they will find any opportunity to dispute my accomplishments at their company. I would prefer for them not to be able to see my LinkedIn profile at all anymore, although I don't want to disconnect from connections that we share.



Should I disconnect with them on LinkedIn? Will that have any effect? Are there other things I should be concerned about that they could do to damage my reputation in the digital world?



I should add that while I worked with software in both places, they are in an only tangentially related vertical to the one I'm in now, and do not consider themselves a software company, so they are unlikely to share colleagues or go to the same industry events in the future. It's more a concern that they would ever, out of malice, actively reach out to people in my network, although I think their tendency towards inaction makes this unlikely.







share|improve this question


















  • 1




    Removing the person from your network would make someone viewing your LI profile less likely to find out about said slanderer.
    – Hydrangea
    Jun 5 '12 at 15:42










  • I would agrue that it is your choice if you want to be connected to this company and anyone who worked there. It is your resume or Linkedin Profile in this case. You have the ability to have them be references or just have the company listed as a company you worked for. When asked if you can contact your supervisor at said company, explain the reasons this is not possible ( don't tell the reason you suspect ) but some sort of neutral explaination.
    – Ramhound
    Jun 6 '12 at 11:24












up vote
20
down vote

favorite
3









up vote
20
down vote

favorite
3






3





Despite my efforts at maintaining a professional and positive relationship while resigning from a job, I've recently been informed by past colleagues that my past employer has been saying a lot of negative things about me - basically blaming me for everything that is wrong with their company. It's not surprising to me as I realized before I decided to leave that there was a significant lack of professionalism and inability to accept fault among the company leaders, and by the time I left I had severely lost respect and trust in the company management.



I'm worried that they will find a way to sabotage future opportunities for me, or even just that they will find any opportunity to dispute my accomplishments at their company. I would prefer for them not to be able to see my LinkedIn profile at all anymore, although I don't want to disconnect from connections that we share.



Should I disconnect with them on LinkedIn? Will that have any effect? Are there other things I should be concerned about that they could do to damage my reputation in the digital world?



I should add that while I worked with software in both places, they are in an only tangentially related vertical to the one I'm in now, and do not consider themselves a software company, so they are unlikely to share colleagues or go to the same industry events in the future. It's more a concern that they would ever, out of malice, actively reach out to people in my network, although I think their tendency towards inaction makes this unlikely.







share|improve this question














Despite my efforts at maintaining a professional and positive relationship while resigning from a job, I've recently been informed by past colleagues that my past employer has been saying a lot of negative things about me - basically blaming me for everything that is wrong with their company. It's not surprising to me as I realized before I decided to leave that there was a significant lack of professionalism and inability to accept fault among the company leaders, and by the time I left I had severely lost respect and trust in the company management.



I'm worried that they will find a way to sabotage future opportunities for me, or even just that they will find any opportunity to dispute my accomplishments at their company. I would prefer for them not to be able to see my LinkedIn profile at all anymore, although I don't want to disconnect from connections that we share.



Should I disconnect with them on LinkedIn? Will that have any effect? Are there other things I should be concerned about that they could do to damage my reputation in the digital world?



I should add that while I worked with software in both places, they are in an only tangentially related vertical to the one I'm in now, and do not consider themselves a software company, so they are unlikely to share colleagues or go to the same industry events in the future. It's more a concern that they would ever, out of malice, actively reach out to people in my network, although I think their tendency towards inaction makes this unlikely.









share|improve this question













share|improve this question




share|improve this question








edited Jun 6 '12 at 0:42

























asked Jun 5 '12 at 3:35









Tech Lover in NYC

771617




771617







  • 1




    Removing the person from your network would make someone viewing your LI profile less likely to find out about said slanderer.
    – Hydrangea
    Jun 5 '12 at 15:42










  • I would agrue that it is your choice if you want to be connected to this company and anyone who worked there. It is your resume or Linkedin Profile in this case. You have the ability to have them be references or just have the company listed as a company you worked for. When asked if you can contact your supervisor at said company, explain the reasons this is not possible ( don't tell the reason you suspect ) but some sort of neutral explaination.
    – Ramhound
    Jun 6 '12 at 11:24












  • 1




    Removing the person from your network would make someone viewing your LI profile less likely to find out about said slanderer.
    – Hydrangea
    Jun 5 '12 at 15:42










  • I would agrue that it is your choice if you want to be connected to this company and anyone who worked there. It is your resume or Linkedin Profile in this case. You have the ability to have them be references or just have the company listed as a company you worked for. When asked if you can contact your supervisor at said company, explain the reasons this is not possible ( don't tell the reason you suspect ) but some sort of neutral explaination.
    – Ramhound
    Jun 6 '12 at 11:24







1




1




Removing the person from your network would make someone viewing your LI profile less likely to find out about said slanderer.
– Hydrangea
Jun 5 '12 at 15:42




Removing the person from your network would make someone viewing your LI profile less likely to find out about said slanderer.
– Hydrangea
Jun 5 '12 at 15:42












I would agrue that it is your choice if you want to be connected to this company and anyone who worked there. It is your resume or Linkedin Profile in this case. You have the ability to have them be references or just have the company listed as a company you worked for. When asked if you can contact your supervisor at said company, explain the reasons this is not possible ( don't tell the reason you suspect ) but some sort of neutral explaination.
– Ramhound
Jun 6 '12 at 11:24




I would agrue that it is your choice if you want to be connected to this company and anyone who worked there. It is your resume or Linkedin Profile in this case. You have the ability to have them be references or just have the company listed as a company you worked for. When asked if you can contact your supervisor at said company, explain the reasons this is not possible ( don't tell the reason you suspect ) but some sort of neutral explaination.
– Ramhound
Jun 6 '12 at 11:24










3 Answers
3






active

oldest

votes

















up vote
16
down vote



accepted










Linkedin, or for that matter, any Social network is firstly there to help your career, either by keeping contact with someone you want to work with again, or by keeping connection to introduce you to other contacts.



In both case, if you're not in good terms with your colleague, you don't want to work with them again, and can't count on them to give you good reccomendations or introduce you to interesting people. So you don't need to keep them as a contact.



Removing them from your contacts should be transparent to them, and in any case you can "hide" your current company.






share|improve this answer



























    up vote
    5
    down vote













    If there is no truth to their statements and you can demonstrate that they are intending to harm you, visiting with an attorney would be far more productive than consulting us. Libel and slander are serious charges; if contacted by your attorney, they may change their minds rather quickly if you are innocent.




    Should I disconnect with them on LinkedIn?




    There is a marginal gain from removing them; however, business partners you worked with at the other company stand a decent chance of "knowing about this"; it is not uncommon for companies to consult with industry sales reps to get the inside story on someone. Furthermore, I suspect this company will still appear on your resume that you have posted on job boards.




    Are there other things I should be concerned about that they could do to damage my reputation in the digital world?




    Yes. You need to speak with an attorney about libel, if this is indeed happening.






    share|improve this answer






















    • I see your point, but I hesitate to go a legal route unless it gets to the point where I know they've said these things specifically to people that I expect to be a continued or future part of my network and who actually will believe them. Currently I only know for sure they've said these things to past colleagues, and those colleagues told me so I would know the falsities that were being spread. Would it still be worth it to contact a lawyer just to be safe? Legal fees would also be a concern.
      – Tech Lover in NYC
      Jun 6 '12 at 2:30










    • Most attorneys offer a free consultation session; ask them about legal fees, my experience in this realm was when I needed to specify contracts and this was a clause in the contract... a very different billing situation
      – Mike Pennington
      Jun 6 '12 at 4:31


















    up vote
    1
    down vote














    Should I disconnect with them in LinkedIn




    Hell yeah, they were crap to work with, ditch them, you don't want to sully your name with a dead beat company.




    Damaged reputation




    Your reputation is everything, guard it with your life. If they are slandering you, get proof, get a court order and demand that they stop. Hey if they continue slandering you, just collect the proof, and take them to court, you could be successful and never have to work again :)



    I love this world of professionalism. Don't worry about it, just remember that professionalism means that someone pays you to do work for them. If they paid you to do a crap job for say 5 years, why did they continue to pay you?



    As long as you got proof that you left of your own accord and was not fired, stuff them. Anyone who leaves a job that pays, usually means they were not good to work for, or paid less than market rate. We are all adults in this world, most companies know of the practices that companies take when people leave.



    If your really worried about employment, become self employed, and let your work do the talking instead of the people you worked for. Caveat of this approach though, is that your only as good as your last job.






    share|improve this answer




















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      3 Answers
      3






      active

      oldest

      votes








      3 Answers
      3






      active

      oldest

      votes









      active

      oldest

      votes






      active

      oldest

      votes








      up vote
      16
      down vote



      accepted










      Linkedin, or for that matter, any Social network is firstly there to help your career, either by keeping contact with someone you want to work with again, or by keeping connection to introduce you to other contacts.



      In both case, if you're not in good terms with your colleague, you don't want to work with them again, and can't count on them to give you good reccomendations or introduce you to interesting people. So you don't need to keep them as a contact.



      Removing them from your contacts should be transparent to them, and in any case you can "hide" your current company.






      share|improve this answer
























        up vote
        16
        down vote



        accepted










        Linkedin, or for that matter, any Social network is firstly there to help your career, either by keeping contact with someone you want to work with again, or by keeping connection to introduce you to other contacts.



        In both case, if you're not in good terms with your colleague, you don't want to work with them again, and can't count on them to give you good reccomendations or introduce you to interesting people. So you don't need to keep them as a contact.



        Removing them from your contacts should be transparent to them, and in any case you can "hide" your current company.






        share|improve this answer






















          up vote
          16
          down vote



          accepted







          up vote
          16
          down vote



          accepted






          Linkedin, or for that matter, any Social network is firstly there to help your career, either by keeping contact with someone you want to work with again, or by keeping connection to introduce you to other contacts.



          In both case, if you're not in good terms with your colleague, you don't want to work with them again, and can't count on them to give you good reccomendations or introduce you to interesting people. So you don't need to keep them as a contact.



          Removing them from your contacts should be transparent to them, and in any case you can "hide" your current company.






          share|improve this answer












          Linkedin, or for that matter, any Social network is firstly there to help your career, either by keeping contact with someone you want to work with again, or by keeping connection to introduce you to other contacts.



          In both case, if you're not in good terms with your colleague, you don't want to work with them again, and can't count on them to give you good reccomendations or introduce you to interesting people. So you don't need to keep them as a contact.



          Removing them from your contacts should be transparent to them, and in any case you can "hide" your current company.







          share|improve this answer












          share|improve this answer



          share|improve this answer










          answered Jun 5 '12 at 9:18









          XGouchet

          45147




          45147






















              up vote
              5
              down vote













              If there is no truth to their statements and you can demonstrate that they are intending to harm you, visiting with an attorney would be far more productive than consulting us. Libel and slander are serious charges; if contacted by your attorney, they may change their minds rather quickly if you are innocent.




              Should I disconnect with them on LinkedIn?




              There is a marginal gain from removing them; however, business partners you worked with at the other company stand a decent chance of "knowing about this"; it is not uncommon for companies to consult with industry sales reps to get the inside story on someone. Furthermore, I suspect this company will still appear on your resume that you have posted on job boards.




              Are there other things I should be concerned about that they could do to damage my reputation in the digital world?




              Yes. You need to speak with an attorney about libel, if this is indeed happening.






              share|improve this answer






















              • I see your point, but I hesitate to go a legal route unless it gets to the point where I know they've said these things specifically to people that I expect to be a continued or future part of my network and who actually will believe them. Currently I only know for sure they've said these things to past colleagues, and those colleagues told me so I would know the falsities that were being spread. Would it still be worth it to contact a lawyer just to be safe? Legal fees would also be a concern.
                – Tech Lover in NYC
                Jun 6 '12 at 2:30










              • Most attorneys offer a free consultation session; ask them about legal fees, my experience in this realm was when I needed to specify contracts and this was a clause in the contract... a very different billing situation
                – Mike Pennington
                Jun 6 '12 at 4:31















              up vote
              5
              down vote













              If there is no truth to their statements and you can demonstrate that they are intending to harm you, visiting with an attorney would be far more productive than consulting us. Libel and slander are serious charges; if contacted by your attorney, they may change their minds rather quickly if you are innocent.




              Should I disconnect with them on LinkedIn?




              There is a marginal gain from removing them; however, business partners you worked with at the other company stand a decent chance of "knowing about this"; it is not uncommon for companies to consult with industry sales reps to get the inside story on someone. Furthermore, I suspect this company will still appear on your resume that you have posted on job boards.




              Are there other things I should be concerned about that they could do to damage my reputation in the digital world?




              Yes. You need to speak with an attorney about libel, if this is indeed happening.






              share|improve this answer






















              • I see your point, but I hesitate to go a legal route unless it gets to the point where I know they've said these things specifically to people that I expect to be a continued or future part of my network and who actually will believe them. Currently I only know for sure they've said these things to past colleagues, and those colleagues told me so I would know the falsities that were being spread. Would it still be worth it to contact a lawyer just to be safe? Legal fees would also be a concern.
                – Tech Lover in NYC
                Jun 6 '12 at 2:30










              • Most attorneys offer a free consultation session; ask them about legal fees, my experience in this realm was when I needed to specify contracts and this was a clause in the contract... a very different billing situation
                – Mike Pennington
                Jun 6 '12 at 4:31













              up vote
              5
              down vote










              up vote
              5
              down vote









              If there is no truth to their statements and you can demonstrate that they are intending to harm you, visiting with an attorney would be far more productive than consulting us. Libel and slander are serious charges; if contacted by your attorney, they may change their minds rather quickly if you are innocent.




              Should I disconnect with them on LinkedIn?




              There is a marginal gain from removing them; however, business partners you worked with at the other company stand a decent chance of "knowing about this"; it is not uncommon for companies to consult with industry sales reps to get the inside story on someone. Furthermore, I suspect this company will still appear on your resume that you have posted on job boards.




              Are there other things I should be concerned about that they could do to damage my reputation in the digital world?




              Yes. You need to speak with an attorney about libel, if this is indeed happening.






              share|improve this answer














              If there is no truth to their statements and you can demonstrate that they are intending to harm you, visiting with an attorney would be far more productive than consulting us. Libel and slander are serious charges; if contacted by your attorney, they may change their minds rather quickly if you are innocent.




              Should I disconnect with them on LinkedIn?




              There is a marginal gain from removing them; however, business partners you worked with at the other company stand a decent chance of "knowing about this"; it is not uncommon for companies to consult with industry sales reps to get the inside story on someone. Furthermore, I suspect this company will still appear on your resume that you have posted on job boards.




              Are there other things I should be concerned about that they could do to damage my reputation in the digital world?




              Yes. You need to speak with an attorney about libel, if this is indeed happening.







              share|improve this answer














              share|improve this answer



              share|improve this answer








              edited Jun 5 '12 at 16:11

























              answered Jun 5 '12 at 11:03









              Mike Pennington

              19327




              19327











              • I see your point, but I hesitate to go a legal route unless it gets to the point where I know they've said these things specifically to people that I expect to be a continued or future part of my network and who actually will believe them. Currently I only know for sure they've said these things to past colleagues, and those colleagues told me so I would know the falsities that were being spread. Would it still be worth it to contact a lawyer just to be safe? Legal fees would also be a concern.
                – Tech Lover in NYC
                Jun 6 '12 at 2:30










              • Most attorneys offer a free consultation session; ask them about legal fees, my experience in this realm was when I needed to specify contracts and this was a clause in the contract... a very different billing situation
                – Mike Pennington
                Jun 6 '12 at 4:31

















              • I see your point, but I hesitate to go a legal route unless it gets to the point where I know they've said these things specifically to people that I expect to be a continued or future part of my network and who actually will believe them. Currently I only know for sure they've said these things to past colleagues, and those colleagues told me so I would know the falsities that were being spread. Would it still be worth it to contact a lawyer just to be safe? Legal fees would also be a concern.
                – Tech Lover in NYC
                Jun 6 '12 at 2:30










              • Most attorneys offer a free consultation session; ask them about legal fees, my experience in this realm was when I needed to specify contracts and this was a clause in the contract... a very different billing situation
                – Mike Pennington
                Jun 6 '12 at 4:31
















              I see your point, but I hesitate to go a legal route unless it gets to the point where I know they've said these things specifically to people that I expect to be a continued or future part of my network and who actually will believe them. Currently I only know for sure they've said these things to past colleagues, and those colleagues told me so I would know the falsities that were being spread. Would it still be worth it to contact a lawyer just to be safe? Legal fees would also be a concern.
              – Tech Lover in NYC
              Jun 6 '12 at 2:30




              I see your point, but I hesitate to go a legal route unless it gets to the point where I know they've said these things specifically to people that I expect to be a continued or future part of my network and who actually will believe them. Currently I only know for sure they've said these things to past colleagues, and those colleagues told me so I would know the falsities that were being spread. Would it still be worth it to contact a lawyer just to be safe? Legal fees would also be a concern.
              – Tech Lover in NYC
              Jun 6 '12 at 2:30












              Most attorneys offer a free consultation session; ask them about legal fees, my experience in this realm was when I needed to specify contracts and this was a clause in the contract... a very different billing situation
              – Mike Pennington
              Jun 6 '12 at 4:31





              Most attorneys offer a free consultation session; ask them about legal fees, my experience in this realm was when I needed to specify contracts and this was a clause in the contract... a very different billing situation
              – Mike Pennington
              Jun 6 '12 at 4:31











              up vote
              1
              down vote














              Should I disconnect with them in LinkedIn




              Hell yeah, they were crap to work with, ditch them, you don't want to sully your name with a dead beat company.




              Damaged reputation




              Your reputation is everything, guard it with your life. If they are slandering you, get proof, get a court order and demand that they stop. Hey if they continue slandering you, just collect the proof, and take them to court, you could be successful and never have to work again :)



              I love this world of professionalism. Don't worry about it, just remember that professionalism means that someone pays you to do work for them. If they paid you to do a crap job for say 5 years, why did they continue to pay you?



              As long as you got proof that you left of your own accord and was not fired, stuff them. Anyone who leaves a job that pays, usually means they were not good to work for, or paid less than market rate. We are all adults in this world, most companies know of the practices that companies take when people leave.



              If your really worried about employment, become self employed, and let your work do the talking instead of the people you worked for. Caveat of this approach though, is that your only as good as your last job.






              share|improve this answer
























                up vote
                1
                down vote














                Should I disconnect with them in LinkedIn




                Hell yeah, they were crap to work with, ditch them, you don't want to sully your name with a dead beat company.




                Damaged reputation




                Your reputation is everything, guard it with your life. If they are slandering you, get proof, get a court order and demand that they stop. Hey if they continue slandering you, just collect the proof, and take them to court, you could be successful and never have to work again :)



                I love this world of professionalism. Don't worry about it, just remember that professionalism means that someone pays you to do work for them. If they paid you to do a crap job for say 5 years, why did they continue to pay you?



                As long as you got proof that you left of your own accord and was not fired, stuff them. Anyone who leaves a job that pays, usually means they were not good to work for, or paid less than market rate. We are all adults in this world, most companies know of the practices that companies take when people leave.



                If your really worried about employment, become self employed, and let your work do the talking instead of the people you worked for. Caveat of this approach though, is that your only as good as your last job.






                share|improve this answer






















                  up vote
                  1
                  down vote










                  up vote
                  1
                  down vote










                  Should I disconnect with them in LinkedIn




                  Hell yeah, they were crap to work with, ditch them, you don't want to sully your name with a dead beat company.




                  Damaged reputation




                  Your reputation is everything, guard it with your life. If they are slandering you, get proof, get a court order and demand that they stop. Hey if they continue slandering you, just collect the proof, and take them to court, you could be successful and never have to work again :)



                  I love this world of professionalism. Don't worry about it, just remember that professionalism means that someone pays you to do work for them. If they paid you to do a crap job for say 5 years, why did they continue to pay you?



                  As long as you got proof that you left of your own accord and was not fired, stuff them. Anyone who leaves a job that pays, usually means they were not good to work for, or paid less than market rate. We are all adults in this world, most companies know of the practices that companies take when people leave.



                  If your really worried about employment, become self employed, and let your work do the talking instead of the people you worked for. Caveat of this approach though, is that your only as good as your last job.






                  share|improve this answer













                  Should I disconnect with them in LinkedIn




                  Hell yeah, they were crap to work with, ditch them, you don't want to sully your name with a dead beat company.




                  Damaged reputation




                  Your reputation is everything, guard it with your life. If they are slandering you, get proof, get a court order and demand that they stop. Hey if they continue slandering you, just collect the proof, and take them to court, you could be successful and never have to work again :)



                  I love this world of professionalism. Don't worry about it, just remember that professionalism means that someone pays you to do work for them. If they paid you to do a crap job for say 5 years, why did they continue to pay you?



                  As long as you got proof that you left of your own accord and was not fired, stuff them. Anyone who leaves a job that pays, usually means they were not good to work for, or paid less than market rate. We are all adults in this world, most companies know of the practices that companies take when people leave.



                  If your really worried about employment, become self employed, and let your work do the talking instead of the people you worked for. Caveat of this approach though, is that your only as good as your last job.







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