I was offered to speak at a conference — but it was supposed to be my colleague instead

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Obviously posting from an alt-account and going to leave details out so I don't give myself away.



I was offered to give a talk at my industry's leading conference. The catch is that my team has internally decided it would be one of our colleagues which would do this instead. Originally I had kept pretty modest even though I wanted to be the one to do it because I honestly thought the chances of being offered a spot were low. My team asked me to submit an application anyway, and I just saw I have been accepted.



I would by a liar if I said I didn't want to accept this opportunity. But now I'm trying to figure out what I'll tell everyone on Monday if I accept.



Should I accept the spot and just tell the rest of the team? Or should I take one for the team and tell the organizers that my colleague will do it instead?



For additional context, I'm not thinking about staying on this team long-term but definitely will still want to be on the team during the conference.







share|improve this question
















  • 1




    So did you apply personally, or did your team apply and you filled out the form for the team?
    – nvoigt
    Sep 1 at 15:10










  • I applied under my own name, but listed the rest of my team as collaborators
    – voltair2
    Sep 1 at 15:14






  • 1




    Did your team member also apply directly, or were you the sole submission from within your group?
    – John Eisbrener
    Sep 1 at 15:32






  • 3




    This rather depends on details you're leaving out like what exactly the plan was from your team regarding this event, how you arrived at the decision to have your colleague present and what you'd be presenting. And why are you leaving out the third option of telling your team that you were accepted as a speaker and seeing what they say in response?
    – Lilienthal♦
    Sep 1 at 15:49







  • 3




    Why did you apply under your own name if the agreement was for your coworker to give the talk? How could they have accepted your coworker if the application was in your name?
    – Dukeling
    Sep 1 at 16:25
















up vote
1
down vote

favorite












Obviously posting from an alt-account and going to leave details out so I don't give myself away.



I was offered to give a talk at my industry's leading conference. The catch is that my team has internally decided it would be one of our colleagues which would do this instead. Originally I had kept pretty modest even though I wanted to be the one to do it because I honestly thought the chances of being offered a spot were low. My team asked me to submit an application anyway, and I just saw I have been accepted.



I would by a liar if I said I didn't want to accept this opportunity. But now I'm trying to figure out what I'll tell everyone on Monday if I accept.



Should I accept the spot and just tell the rest of the team? Or should I take one for the team and tell the organizers that my colleague will do it instead?



For additional context, I'm not thinking about staying on this team long-term but definitely will still want to be on the team during the conference.







share|improve this question
















  • 1




    So did you apply personally, or did your team apply and you filled out the form for the team?
    – nvoigt
    Sep 1 at 15:10










  • I applied under my own name, but listed the rest of my team as collaborators
    – voltair2
    Sep 1 at 15:14






  • 1




    Did your team member also apply directly, or were you the sole submission from within your group?
    – John Eisbrener
    Sep 1 at 15:32






  • 3




    This rather depends on details you're leaving out like what exactly the plan was from your team regarding this event, how you arrived at the decision to have your colleague present and what you'd be presenting. And why are you leaving out the third option of telling your team that you were accepted as a speaker and seeing what they say in response?
    – Lilienthal♦
    Sep 1 at 15:49







  • 3




    Why did you apply under your own name if the agreement was for your coworker to give the talk? How could they have accepted your coworker if the application was in your name?
    – Dukeling
    Sep 1 at 16:25












up vote
1
down vote

favorite









up vote
1
down vote

favorite











Obviously posting from an alt-account and going to leave details out so I don't give myself away.



I was offered to give a talk at my industry's leading conference. The catch is that my team has internally decided it would be one of our colleagues which would do this instead. Originally I had kept pretty modest even though I wanted to be the one to do it because I honestly thought the chances of being offered a spot were low. My team asked me to submit an application anyway, and I just saw I have been accepted.



I would by a liar if I said I didn't want to accept this opportunity. But now I'm trying to figure out what I'll tell everyone on Monday if I accept.



Should I accept the spot and just tell the rest of the team? Or should I take one for the team and tell the organizers that my colleague will do it instead?



For additional context, I'm not thinking about staying on this team long-term but definitely will still want to be on the team during the conference.







share|improve this question












Obviously posting from an alt-account and going to leave details out so I don't give myself away.



I was offered to give a talk at my industry's leading conference. The catch is that my team has internally decided it would be one of our colleagues which would do this instead. Originally I had kept pretty modest even though I wanted to be the one to do it because I honestly thought the chances of being offered a spot were low. My team asked me to submit an application anyway, and I just saw I have been accepted.



I would by a liar if I said I didn't want to accept this opportunity. But now I'm trying to figure out what I'll tell everyone on Monday if I accept.



Should I accept the spot and just tell the rest of the team? Or should I take one for the team and tell the organizers that my colleague will do it instead?



For additional context, I'm not thinking about staying on this team long-term but definitely will still want to be on the team during the conference.









share|improve this question











share|improve this question




share|improve this question










asked Sep 1 at 14:40









voltair2

112




112







  • 1




    So did you apply personally, or did your team apply and you filled out the form for the team?
    – nvoigt
    Sep 1 at 15:10










  • I applied under my own name, but listed the rest of my team as collaborators
    – voltair2
    Sep 1 at 15:14






  • 1




    Did your team member also apply directly, or were you the sole submission from within your group?
    – John Eisbrener
    Sep 1 at 15:32






  • 3




    This rather depends on details you're leaving out like what exactly the plan was from your team regarding this event, how you arrived at the decision to have your colleague present and what you'd be presenting. And why are you leaving out the third option of telling your team that you were accepted as a speaker and seeing what they say in response?
    – Lilienthal♦
    Sep 1 at 15:49







  • 3




    Why did you apply under your own name if the agreement was for your coworker to give the talk? How could they have accepted your coworker if the application was in your name?
    – Dukeling
    Sep 1 at 16:25












  • 1




    So did you apply personally, or did your team apply and you filled out the form for the team?
    – nvoigt
    Sep 1 at 15:10










  • I applied under my own name, but listed the rest of my team as collaborators
    – voltair2
    Sep 1 at 15:14






  • 1




    Did your team member also apply directly, or were you the sole submission from within your group?
    – John Eisbrener
    Sep 1 at 15:32






  • 3




    This rather depends on details you're leaving out like what exactly the plan was from your team regarding this event, how you arrived at the decision to have your colleague present and what you'd be presenting. And why are you leaving out the third option of telling your team that you were accepted as a speaker and seeing what they say in response?
    – Lilienthal♦
    Sep 1 at 15:49







  • 3




    Why did you apply under your own name if the agreement was for your coworker to give the talk? How could they have accepted your coworker if the application was in your name?
    – Dukeling
    Sep 1 at 16:25







1




1




So did you apply personally, or did your team apply and you filled out the form for the team?
– nvoigt
Sep 1 at 15:10




So did you apply personally, or did your team apply and you filled out the form for the team?
– nvoigt
Sep 1 at 15:10












I applied under my own name, but listed the rest of my team as collaborators
– voltair2
Sep 1 at 15:14




I applied under my own name, but listed the rest of my team as collaborators
– voltair2
Sep 1 at 15:14




1




1




Did your team member also apply directly, or were you the sole submission from within your group?
– John Eisbrener
Sep 1 at 15:32




Did your team member also apply directly, or were you the sole submission from within your group?
– John Eisbrener
Sep 1 at 15:32




3




3




This rather depends on details you're leaving out like what exactly the plan was from your team regarding this event, how you arrived at the decision to have your colleague present and what you'd be presenting. And why are you leaving out the third option of telling your team that you were accepted as a speaker and seeing what they say in response?
– Lilienthal♦
Sep 1 at 15:49





This rather depends on details you're leaving out like what exactly the plan was from your team regarding this event, how you arrived at the decision to have your colleague present and what you'd be presenting. And why are you leaving out the third option of telling your team that you were accepted as a speaker and seeing what they say in response?
– Lilienthal♦
Sep 1 at 15:49





3




3




Why did you apply under your own name if the agreement was for your coworker to give the talk? How could they have accepted your coworker if the application was in your name?
– Dukeling
Sep 1 at 16:25




Why did you apply under your own name if the agreement was for your coworker to give the talk? How could they have accepted your coworker if the application was in your name?
– Dukeling
Sep 1 at 16:25










2 Answers
2






active

oldest

votes

















up vote
11
down vote



accepted










If I were an/the organizer of this event, and I had accepted your application, and then you tried to send someone else, I would rescind the entire offer.



Your "team" is believing they are in charge of managing this engagement. They are not.






share|improve this answer
















  • 2




    Other things can come up, so there may be some precedent for having a collaborator "fill in". Although I'm not sure how common this is.
    – Dukeling
    Sep 1 at 16:20






  • 1




    Thanks. After talking to some people close to me this is the conclusion I came to as well. There was a reason they sent me the email and not someone else. I accepted.
    – voltair2
    Sep 1 at 16:33

















up vote
0
down vote













So your team decided your colleague would speak and then this same team told you to apply anyway? I don't think they can complain if you accept, it is their fault you're in this position. So do what you want and accept.






share|improve this answer




















  • No, they trusted OP and asked him to submit an application on their behalf as a team and didn't expect to be chosen, but if they were chosen they had decided on a speaker. OP decided to put his own name instead when applying for the team.
    – Jack
    Sep 4 at 12:02










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2 Answers
2






active

oldest

votes








2 Answers
2






active

oldest

votes









active

oldest

votes






active

oldest

votes








up vote
11
down vote



accepted










If I were an/the organizer of this event, and I had accepted your application, and then you tried to send someone else, I would rescind the entire offer.



Your "team" is believing they are in charge of managing this engagement. They are not.






share|improve this answer
















  • 2




    Other things can come up, so there may be some precedent for having a collaborator "fill in". Although I'm not sure how common this is.
    – Dukeling
    Sep 1 at 16:20






  • 1




    Thanks. After talking to some people close to me this is the conclusion I came to as well. There was a reason they sent me the email and not someone else. I accepted.
    – voltair2
    Sep 1 at 16:33














up vote
11
down vote



accepted










If I were an/the organizer of this event, and I had accepted your application, and then you tried to send someone else, I would rescind the entire offer.



Your "team" is believing they are in charge of managing this engagement. They are not.






share|improve this answer
















  • 2




    Other things can come up, so there may be some precedent for having a collaborator "fill in". Although I'm not sure how common this is.
    – Dukeling
    Sep 1 at 16:20






  • 1




    Thanks. After talking to some people close to me this is the conclusion I came to as well. There was a reason they sent me the email and not someone else. I accepted.
    – voltair2
    Sep 1 at 16:33












up vote
11
down vote



accepted







up vote
11
down vote



accepted






If I were an/the organizer of this event, and I had accepted your application, and then you tried to send someone else, I would rescind the entire offer.



Your "team" is believing they are in charge of managing this engagement. They are not.






share|improve this answer












If I were an/the organizer of this event, and I had accepted your application, and then you tried to send someone else, I would rescind the entire offer.



Your "team" is believing they are in charge of managing this engagement. They are not.







share|improve this answer












share|improve this answer



share|improve this answer










answered Sep 1 at 15:58









Wesley Long

45.1k15101162




45.1k15101162







  • 2




    Other things can come up, so there may be some precedent for having a collaborator "fill in". Although I'm not sure how common this is.
    – Dukeling
    Sep 1 at 16:20






  • 1




    Thanks. After talking to some people close to me this is the conclusion I came to as well. There was a reason they sent me the email and not someone else. I accepted.
    – voltair2
    Sep 1 at 16:33












  • 2




    Other things can come up, so there may be some precedent for having a collaborator "fill in". Although I'm not sure how common this is.
    – Dukeling
    Sep 1 at 16:20






  • 1




    Thanks. After talking to some people close to me this is the conclusion I came to as well. There was a reason they sent me the email and not someone else. I accepted.
    – voltair2
    Sep 1 at 16:33







2




2




Other things can come up, so there may be some precedent for having a collaborator "fill in". Although I'm not sure how common this is.
– Dukeling
Sep 1 at 16:20




Other things can come up, so there may be some precedent for having a collaborator "fill in". Although I'm not sure how common this is.
– Dukeling
Sep 1 at 16:20




1




1




Thanks. After talking to some people close to me this is the conclusion I came to as well. There was a reason they sent me the email and not someone else. I accepted.
– voltair2
Sep 1 at 16:33




Thanks. After talking to some people close to me this is the conclusion I came to as well. There was a reason they sent me the email and not someone else. I accepted.
– voltair2
Sep 1 at 16:33












up vote
0
down vote













So your team decided your colleague would speak and then this same team told you to apply anyway? I don't think they can complain if you accept, it is their fault you're in this position. So do what you want and accept.






share|improve this answer




















  • No, they trusted OP and asked him to submit an application on their behalf as a team and didn't expect to be chosen, but if they were chosen they had decided on a speaker. OP decided to put his own name instead when applying for the team.
    – Jack
    Sep 4 at 12:02














up vote
0
down vote













So your team decided your colleague would speak and then this same team told you to apply anyway? I don't think they can complain if you accept, it is their fault you're in this position. So do what you want and accept.






share|improve this answer




















  • No, they trusted OP and asked him to submit an application on their behalf as a team and didn't expect to be chosen, but if they were chosen they had decided on a speaker. OP decided to put his own name instead when applying for the team.
    – Jack
    Sep 4 at 12:02












up vote
0
down vote










up vote
0
down vote









So your team decided your colleague would speak and then this same team told you to apply anyway? I don't think they can complain if you accept, it is their fault you're in this position. So do what you want and accept.






share|improve this answer












So your team decided your colleague would speak and then this same team told you to apply anyway? I don't think they can complain if you accept, it is their fault you're in this position. So do what you want and accept.







share|improve this answer












share|improve this answer



share|improve this answer










answered Sep 3 at 14:46









JScarecrow

434




434











  • No, they trusted OP and asked him to submit an application on their behalf as a team and didn't expect to be chosen, but if they were chosen they had decided on a speaker. OP decided to put his own name instead when applying for the team.
    – Jack
    Sep 4 at 12:02
















  • No, they trusted OP and asked him to submit an application on their behalf as a team and didn't expect to be chosen, but if they were chosen they had decided on a speaker. OP decided to put his own name instead when applying for the team.
    – Jack
    Sep 4 at 12:02















No, they trusted OP and asked him to submit an application on their behalf as a team and didn't expect to be chosen, but if they were chosen they had decided on a speaker. OP decided to put his own name instead when applying for the team.
– Jack
Sep 4 at 12:02




No, they trusted OP and asked him to submit an application on their behalf as a team and didn't expect to be chosen, but if they were chosen they had decided on a speaker. OP decided to put his own name instead when applying for the team.
– Jack
Sep 4 at 12:02

















 

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