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How to deal with egotistical, arrogant senior colleague
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My problem started from the moment when my client and my manager recognized my work.
Sometimes he'd stop talking with me without any valid reasons. The first 1 or 2 such incidents I apologized, thinking it's my fault, but in recent incidents he directly said it was his ego problem.
Now he is not talking with me, whenever I initiate conversation with him, he is making rude expressions and not giving proper responses.
I've never had any issues with my ex managers, leads and seniors. I am facing this issue with him only. It's not the first or second incident, it's the fifth time so instead of apologizing, I'm just ignoring him and this problem.
Is me ignoring him OK? Any suggestions how to deal with him and this situation?
team
edited Jun 19 '14 at 8:58
yochannah
4,21462747
asked Jun 19 '14 at 1:53
Indbroy
141
add a comment |Â
up vote
0
down vote
favorite
My problem started from the moment when my client and my manager recognized my work.
Sometimes he'd stop talking with me without any valid reasons. The first 1 or 2 such incidents I apologized, thinking it's my fault, but in recent incidents he directly said it was his ego problem.
Now he is not talking with me, whenever I initiate conversation with him, he is making rude expressions and not giving proper responses.
I've never had any issues with my ex managers, leads and seniors. I am facing this issue with him only. It's not the first or second incident, it's the fifth time so instead of apologizing, I'm just ignoring him and this problem.
Is me ignoring him OK? Any suggestions how to deal with him and this situation?
team
edited Jun 19 '14 at 8:58
yochannah
4,21462747
asked Jun 19 '14 at 1:53
Indbroy
141
1
Do these strongly related answers help: workplace.stackexchange.com/questions/22349/…
– jmort253♦
Jun 19 '14 at 2:32
3
he = who? Is that the senior colleague, your manager, the client? Or is your senior colleague your manager as well? Please edit.
– Jan Doggen
Jun 19 '14 at 9:28
1
I'm assuming this is your colleague you have a problem with, not your manager or your client. If so, it would be good if you edited to make that clear. But is he failing to communicate with you completely, including any communications necessary to do the job? Or is he just rebuffing any personal communications?
– DJClayworth
Jun 19 '14 at 14:55
It seems like a toxic, volatile place to work. I'd grin and bear it while trying to find alternative employment.
– i-CONICA
Jul 15 '14 at 12:41
add a comment |Â
up vote
0
down vote
favorite
up vote
0
down vote
favorite
My problem started from the moment when my client and my manager recognized my work.
Sometimes he'd stop talking with me without any valid reasons. The first 1 or 2 such incidents I apologized, thinking it's my fault, but in recent incidents he directly said it was his ego problem.
Now he is not talking with me, whenever I initiate conversation with him, he is making rude expressions and not giving proper responses.
I've never had any issues with my ex managers, leads and seniors. I am facing this issue with him only. It's not the first or second incident, it's the fifth time so instead of apologizing, I'm just ignoring him and this problem.
Is me ignoring him OK? Any suggestions how to deal with him and this situation?
team
edited Jun 19 '14 at 8:58
yochannah
4,21462747
asked Jun 19 '14 at 1:53
Indbroy
141
My problem started from the moment when my client and my manager recognized my work.
Sometimes he'd stop talking with me without any valid reasons. The first 1 or 2 such incidents I apologized, thinking it's my fault, but in recent incidents he directly said it was his ego problem.
Now he is not talking with me, whenever I initiate conversation with him, he is making rude expressions and not giving proper responses.
I've never had any issues with my ex managers, leads and seniors. I am facing this issue with him only. It's not the first or second incident, it's the fifth time so instead of apologizing, I'm just ignoring him and this problem.
Is me ignoring him OK? Any suggestions how to deal with him and this situation?
team
edited Jun 19 '14 at 8:58
yochannah
4,21462747
asked Jun 19 '14 at 1:53
Indbroy
141
edited Jun 19 '14 at 8:58
yochannah
4,21462747
edited Jun 19 '14 at 8:58
yochannah
4,21462747
edited Jun 19 '14 at 8:58
yochannah
4,21462747
4,21462747
asked Jun 19 '14 at 1:53
Indbroy
141
asked Jun 19 '14 at 1:53
Indbroy
141
asked Jun 19 '14 at 1:53
Indbroy
141
141
1
Do these strongly related answers help: workplace.stackexchange.com/questions/22349/…
– jmort253♦
Jun 19 '14 at 2:32
3
he = who? Is that the senior colleague, your manager, the client? Or is your senior colleague your manager as well? Please edit.
– Jan Doggen
Jun 19 '14 at 9:28
1
I'm assuming this is your colleague you have a problem with, not your manager or your client. If so, it would be good if you edited to make that clear. But is he failing to communicate with you completely, including any communications necessary to do the job? Or is he just rebuffing any personal communications?
– DJClayworth
Jun 19 '14 at 14:55
It seems like a toxic, volatile place to work. I'd grin and bear it while trying to find alternative employment.
– i-CONICA
Jul 15 '14 at 12:41
add a comment |Â
1
Do these strongly related answers help: workplace.stackexchange.com/questions/22349/…
– jmort253♦
Jun 19 '14 at 2:32
3
he = who? Is that the senior colleague, your manager, the client? Or is your senior colleague your manager as well? Please edit.
– Jan Doggen
Jun 19 '14 at 9:28
1
I'm assuming this is your colleague you have a problem with, not your manager or your client. If so, it would be good if you edited to make that clear. But is he failing to communicate with you completely, including any communications necessary to do the job? Or is he just rebuffing any personal communications?
– DJClayworth
Jun 19 '14 at 14:55
It seems like a toxic, volatile place to work. I'd grin and bear it while trying to find alternative employment.
– i-CONICA
Jul 15 '14 at 12:41
1
1
Do these strongly related answers help: workplace.stackexchange.com/questions/22349/…
– jmort253♦
Jun 19 '14 at 2:32
Do these strongly related answers help: workplace.stackexchange.com/questions/22349/…
– jmort253♦
Jun 19 '14 at 2:32
3
3
he = who? Is that the senior colleague, your manager, the client? Or is your senior colleague your manager as well? Please edit.
– Jan Doggen
Jun 19 '14 at 9:28
he = who? Is that the senior colleague, your manager, the client? Or is your senior colleague your manager as well? Please edit.
– Jan Doggen
Jun 19 '14 at 9:28
1
1
I'm assuming this is your colleague you have a problem with, not your manager or your client. If so, it would be good if you edited to make that clear. But is he failing to communicate with you completely, including any communications necessary to do the job? Or is he just rebuffing any personal communications?
– DJClayworth
Jun 19 '14 at 14:55
I'm assuming this is your colleague you have a problem with, not your manager or your client. If so, it would be good if you edited to make that clear. But is he failing to communicate with you completely, including any communications necessary to do the job? Or is he just rebuffing any personal communications?
– DJClayworth
Jun 19 '14 at 14:55
It seems like a toxic, volatile place to work. I'd grin and bear it while trying to find alternative employment.
– i-CONICA
Jul 15 '14 at 12:41
It seems like a toxic, volatile place to work. I'd grin and bear it while trying to find alternative employment.
– i-CONICA
Jul 15 '14 at 12:41
add a comment |Â
2 Answers
2
active
oldest
votes
up vote
2
down vote
If I were you, I'd ignore his behavior as long as his behavior is not affecting your job performance.
His behavior derives from his personal issues, and let him have a ball dealing with his issues without you getting involved in whatever hell he is creating for himself, unless you living in his hell is your idea of a good time :)
If his behavior starts to affect your work performance, tell him point-blank that his antics are affecting your work performance and its about time he stopped. It's a cynical CYA move: when you escalate to your manager, your manager will ask you if you talked to him, at which point,you will be able to truthfully say "Yes, I talked to him and I didn't get anywhere with him. That's why I am now talking with you"
He doesn't have to like you but he has to stay out of your hair and cooperate with you professionally when you need his cooperation. Until he gets his act together, look for friendship elsewhere :)
answered Jun 19 '14 at 2:11
Vietnhi Phuvan
68.9k7118254
add a comment |Â
up vote
0
down vote
I would suggest that in public you be as professional and polite to him as you can and if there is a reason to compliment him, make sure you do that. If things come down to there being such a conflict that one of you has to go, who is going to look better, the one behaving professionally or the one behaving like a five-year-old?
However, if he starts publicly presenting an untrue story about you, correct the misinformation in public. Don't let his version of events be the only one. I am always polite, but I never let anyone spread lies about me. One guy tried this with me all the way up to the CEO of the company (I had never even met him but my name came up for some assignment that he didn't want to leave his department) and I had to to take his lies apart just as publicly and in such a way that he never bothered me again. I wasn't nasty, I didn't say any untruths back and I didn't call him names (althoughI was furious and wanted to), but after he had lied about me in writing questioning my professional competence, I sent back to the CEO (and all the Senior management staff he had orginally sent the document to) a multi-page document detailing all the lies and providing proof that they were lies. He never tried that with me again. Sometimes you have to let a bully know that you are a dangerous person to try to bully. In this case I did this with the full support of my boss (who was the person who showed me the orginal document so that I could respond, he was pretty mad too.). If you have to take the guy down publicly, it is good to have your own boss's support before you do so.
Make sure to cover yourself with your boss by making sure he is aware of your contributions. Hopefully this won;t go so far you need a smack down to avoid a destroyed reputation, but in any event, making sure your boss is aware of all the good things you do helps mitigate anything he says when you are not there to hear it.
answered Jun 19 '14 at 17:47
HLGEM
133k25226489
add a comment |Â
2 Answers
2
active
oldest
votes
2 Answers
2
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
up vote
2
down vote
If I were you, I'd ignore his behavior as long as his behavior is not affecting your job performance.
His behavior derives from his personal issues, and let him have a ball dealing with his issues without you getting involved in whatever hell he is creating for himself, unless you living in his hell is your idea of a good time :)
If his behavior starts to affect your work performance, tell him point-blank that his antics are affecting your work performance and its about time he stopped. It's a cynical CYA move: when you escalate to your manager, your manager will ask you if you talked to him, at which point,you will be able to truthfully say "Yes, I talked to him and I didn't get anywhere with him. That's why I am now talking with you"
He doesn't have to like you but he has to stay out of your hair and cooperate with you professionally when you need his cooperation. Until he gets his act together, look for friendship elsewhere :)
answered Jun 19 '14 at 2:11
Vietnhi Phuvan
68.9k7118254
add a comment |Â
up vote
2
down vote
If I were you, I'd ignore his behavior as long as his behavior is not affecting your job performance.
His behavior derives from his personal issues, and let him have a ball dealing with his issues without you getting involved in whatever hell he is creating for himself, unless you living in his hell is your idea of a good time :)
If his behavior starts to affect your work performance, tell him point-blank that his antics are affecting your work performance and its about time he stopped. It's a cynical CYA move: when you escalate to your manager, your manager will ask you if you talked to him, at which point,you will be able to truthfully say "Yes, I talked to him and I didn't get anywhere with him. That's why I am now talking with you"
He doesn't have to like you but he has to stay out of your hair and cooperate with you professionally when you need his cooperation. Until he gets his act together, look for friendship elsewhere :)
answered Jun 19 '14 at 2:11
Vietnhi Phuvan
68.9k7118254
add a comment |Â
up vote
2
down vote
up vote
2
down vote
If I were you, I'd ignore his behavior as long as his behavior is not affecting your job performance.
His behavior derives from his personal issues, and let him have a ball dealing with his issues without you getting involved in whatever hell he is creating for himself, unless you living in his hell is your idea of a good time :)
If his behavior starts to affect your work performance, tell him point-blank that his antics are affecting your work performance and its about time he stopped. It's a cynical CYA move: when you escalate to your manager, your manager will ask you if you talked to him, at which point,you will be able to truthfully say "Yes, I talked to him and I didn't get anywhere with him. That's why I am now talking with you"
He doesn't have to like you but he has to stay out of your hair and cooperate with you professionally when you need his cooperation. Until he gets his act together, look for friendship elsewhere :)
answered Jun 19 '14 at 2:11
Vietnhi Phuvan
68.9k7118254
If I were you, I'd ignore his behavior as long as his behavior is not affecting your job performance.
His behavior derives from his personal issues, and let him have a ball dealing with his issues without you getting involved in whatever hell he is creating for himself, unless you living in his hell is your idea of a good time :)
If his behavior starts to affect your work performance, tell him point-blank that his antics are affecting your work performance and its about time he stopped. It's a cynical CYA move: when you escalate to your manager, your manager will ask you if you talked to him, at which point,you will be able to truthfully say "Yes, I talked to him and I didn't get anywhere with him. That's why I am now talking with you"
He doesn't have to like you but he has to stay out of your hair and cooperate with you professionally when you need his cooperation. Until he gets his act together, look for friendship elsewhere :)
answered Jun 19 '14 at 2:11
Vietnhi Phuvan
68.9k7118254
edited Jun 19 '14 at 14:19
answered Jun 19 '14 at 2:11
Vietnhi Phuvan
68.9k7118254
answered Jun 19 '14 at 2:11
Vietnhi Phuvan
68.9k7118254
answered Jun 19 '14 at 2:11
Vietnhi Phuvan
68.9k7118254
68.9k7118254
add a comment |Â
add a comment |Â
up vote
0
down vote
I would suggest that in public you be as professional and polite to him as you can and if there is a reason to compliment him, make sure you do that. If things come down to there being such a conflict that one of you has to go, who is going to look better, the one behaving professionally or the one behaving like a five-year-old?
However, if he starts publicly presenting an untrue story about you, correct the misinformation in public. Don't let his version of events be the only one. I am always polite, but I never let anyone spread lies about me. One guy tried this with me all the way up to the CEO of the company (I had never even met him but my name came up for some assignment that he didn't want to leave his department) and I had to to take his lies apart just as publicly and in such a way that he never bothered me again. I wasn't nasty, I didn't say any untruths back and I didn't call him names (althoughI was furious and wanted to), but after he had lied about me in writing questioning my professional competence, I sent back to the CEO (and all the Senior management staff he had orginally sent the document to) a multi-page document detailing all the lies and providing proof that they were lies. He never tried that with me again. Sometimes you have to let a bully know that you are a dangerous person to try to bully. In this case I did this with the full support of my boss (who was the person who showed me the orginal document so that I could respond, he was pretty mad too.). If you have to take the guy down publicly, it is good to have your own boss's support before you do so.
Make sure to cover yourself with your boss by making sure he is aware of your contributions. Hopefully this won;t go so far you need a smack down to avoid a destroyed reputation, but in any event, making sure your boss is aware of all the good things you do helps mitigate anything he says when you are not there to hear it.
answered Jun 19 '14 at 17:47
HLGEM
133k25226489
add a comment |Â
up vote
0
down vote
I would suggest that in public you be as professional and polite to him as you can and if there is a reason to compliment him, make sure you do that. If things come down to there being such a conflict that one of you has to go, who is going to look better, the one behaving professionally or the one behaving like a five-year-old?
However, if he starts publicly presenting an untrue story about you, correct the misinformation in public. Don't let his version of events be the only one. I am always polite, but I never let anyone spread lies about me. One guy tried this with me all the way up to the CEO of the company (I had never even met him but my name came up for some assignment that he didn't want to leave his department) and I had to to take his lies apart just as publicly and in such a way that he never bothered me again. I wasn't nasty, I didn't say any untruths back and I didn't call him names (althoughI was furious and wanted to), but after he had lied about me in writing questioning my professional competence, I sent back to the CEO (and all the Senior management staff he had orginally sent the document to) a multi-page document detailing all the lies and providing proof that they were lies. He never tried that with me again. Sometimes you have to let a bully know that you are a dangerous person to try to bully. In this case I did this with the full support of my boss (who was the person who showed me the orginal document so that I could respond, he was pretty mad too.). If you have to take the guy down publicly, it is good to have your own boss's support before you do so.
Make sure to cover yourself with your boss by making sure he is aware of your contributions. Hopefully this won;t go so far you need a smack down to avoid a destroyed reputation, but in any event, making sure your boss is aware of all the good things you do helps mitigate anything he says when you are not there to hear it.
answered Jun 19 '14 at 17:47
HLGEM
133k25226489
add a comment |Â
up vote
0
down vote
up vote
0
down vote
I would suggest that in public you be as professional and polite to him as you can and if there is a reason to compliment him, make sure you do that. If things come down to there being such a conflict that one of you has to go, who is going to look better, the one behaving professionally or the one behaving like a five-year-old?
However, if he starts publicly presenting an untrue story about you, correct the misinformation in public. Don't let his version of events be the only one. I am always polite, but I never let anyone spread lies about me. One guy tried this with me all the way up to the CEO of the company (I had never even met him but my name came up for some assignment that he didn't want to leave his department) and I had to to take his lies apart just as publicly and in such a way that he never bothered me again. I wasn't nasty, I didn't say any untruths back and I didn't call him names (althoughI was furious and wanted to), but after he had lied about me in writing questioning my professional competence, I sent back to the CEO (and all the Senior management staff he had orginally sent the document to) a multi-page document detailing all the lies and providing proof that they were lies. He never tried that with me again. Sometimes you have to let a bully know that you are a dangerous person to try to bully. In this case I did this with the full support of my boss (who was the person who showed me the orginal document so that I could respond, he was pretty mad too.). If you have to take the guy down publicly, it is good to have your own boss's support before you do so.
Make sure to cover yourself with your boss by making sure he is aware of your contributions. Hopefully this won;t go so far you need a smack down to avoid a destroyed reputation, but in any event, making sure your boss is aware of all the good things you do helps mitigate anything he says when you are not there to hear it.
answered Jun 19 '14 at 17:47
HLGEM
133k25226489
I would suggest that in public you be as professional and polite to him as you can and if there is a reason to compliment him, make sure you do that. If things come down to there being such a conflict that one of you has to go, who is going to look better, the one behaving professionally or the one behaving like a five-year-old?
However, if he starts publicly presenting an untrue story about you, correct the misinformation in public. Don't let his version of events be the only one. I am always polite, but I never let anyone spread lies about me. One guy tried this with me all the way up to the CEO of the company (I had never even met him but my name came up for some assignment that he didn't want to leave his department) and I had to to take his lies apart just as publicly and in such a way that he never bothered me again. I wasn't nasty, I didn't say any untruths back and I didn't call him names (althoughI was furious and wanted to), but after he had lied about me in writing questioning my professional competence, I sent back to the CEO (and all the Senior management staff he had orginally sent the document to) a multi-page document detailing all the lies and providing proof that they were lies. He never tried that with me again. Sometimes you have to let a bully know that you are a dangerous person to try to bully. In this case I did this with the full support of my boss (who was the person who showed me the orginal document so that I could respond, he was pretty mad too.). If you have to take the guy down publicly, it is good to have your own boss's support before you do so.
Make sure to cover yourself with your boss by making sure he is aware of your contributions. Hopefully this won;t go so far you need a smack down to avoid a destroyed reputation, but in any event, making sure your boss is aware of all the good things you do helps mitigate anything he says when you are not there to hear it.
answered Jun 19 '14 at 17:47
HLGEM
133k25226489
edited Jun 19 '14 at 17:59
answered Jun 19 '14 at 17:47
HLGEM
133k25226489
answered Jun 19 '14 at 17:47
HLGEM
133k25226489
answered Jun 19 '14 at 17:47
HLGEM
133k25226489
133k25226489
add a comment |Â
add a comment |Â
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1
Do these strongly related answers help: workplace.stackexchange.com/questions/22349/…
– jmort253♦
Jun 19 '14 at 2:32
3
he = who? Is that the senior colleague, your manager, the client? Or is your senior colleague your manager as well? Please edit.
– Jan Doggen
Jun 19 '14 at 9:28
1
I'm assuming this is your colleague you have a problem with, not your manager or your client. If so, it would be good if you edited to make that clear. But is he failing to communicate with you completely, including any communications necessary to do the job? Or is he just rebuffing any personal communications?
– DJClayworth
Jun 19 '14 at 14:55
It seems like a toxic, volatile place to work. I'd grin and bear it while trying to find alternative employment.
– i-CONICA
Jul 15 '14 at 12:41