CEO Wants to hire his girlfriend? [closed]
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Our CEO wants to hire his girlfriend to do some design work. Our company (~15 people) is located overseas, and the CEO spends about half of his time back in the States, but heâÂÂs going to be here for a while this time. His girlfriend is coming over to visit, and I just found out he wants to hire her to do some part-time design work.
Since sheâÂÂd be re-doing the design of a system IâÂÂve made, IâÂÂm naturally concerned about being put into a position where I canâÂÂt disagree.
We normally have a strict & involved hiring policy, and IâÂÂm concerned that sheâÂÂs going to be going around that. Even if she does go through the normal procedure, IâÂÂm concerned that nobody will have the guts to say no, since the CEO will know who it was that stopped her application.
IâÂÂve already mentioned that I think itâÂÂs unusual & inappropriate to hire girlfriends of employees, but things seem to be progressing anyway. What can I do?
IâÂÂm willing to make waves about this, but it would be great if there were a well-respected / well-written explanation for why this is bad practice. I havenâÂÂt been able to find any really convincing and clear explanation I could use to make this point.
hiring-process nepotism
closed as unclear what you're asking by Jim G., gnat, Joe Strazzere, jcmeloni, IDrinkandIKnowThings Jun 4 '14 at 14:03
Please clarify your specific problem or add additional details to highlight exactly what you need. As it's currently written, itâÂÂs hard to tell exactly what you're asking. See the How to Ask page for help clarifying this question. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.
 |Â
show 3 more comments
up vote
1
down vote
favorite
Our CEO wants to hire his girlfriend to do some design work. Our company (~15 people) is located overseas, and the CEO spends about half of his time back in the States, but heâÂÂs going to be here for a while this time. His girlfriend is coming over to visit, and I just found out he wants to hire her to do some part-time design work.
Since sheâÂÂd be re-doing the design of a system IâÂÂve made, IâÂÂm naturally concerned about being put into a position where I canâÂÂt disagree.
We normally have a strict & involved hiring policy, and IâÂÂm concerned that sheâÂÂs going to be going around that. Even if she does go through the normal procedure, IâÂÂm concerned that nobody will have the guts to say no, since the CEO will know who it was that stopped her application.
IâÂÂve already mentioned that I think itâÂÂs unusual & inappropriate to hire girlfriends of employees, but things seem to be progressing anyway. What can I do?
IâÂÂm willing to make waves about this, but it would be great if there were a well-respected / well-written explanation for why this is bad practice. I havenâÂÂt been able to find any really convincing and clear explanation I could use to make this point.
hiring-process nepotism
closed as unclear what you're asking by Jim G., gnat, Joe Strazzere, jcmeloni, IDrinkandIKnowThings Jun 4 '14 at 14:03
Please clarify your specific problem or add additional details to highlight exactly what you need. As it's currently written, itâÂÂs hard to tell exactly what you're asking. See the How to Ask page for help clarifying this question. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.
Don't you think she is qualified?
â Thorbjørn Ravn Andersen
Jun 4 '14 at 6:12
I don't know anything about her - none of us have met her except the CEO.
â anoncowardo
Jun 4 '14 at 8:56
3
So this is not a question about her not being qualified, but about you not wanting to lose control of your pet system?
â Thorbjørn Ravn Andersen
Jun 4 '14 at 9:20
2
I have worked in this situation before. It was not pretty. You are right to have a concern, but others are right to point out that she might in fact be qualified. Do realize that if you get this person on your side, she has a direct line to the CEO and can help you get your ideas implemented, so it is worth it to at least try to work well with her. If she is completely incompetent then the best you can do is understand it is his business to run and if that is how he makes decisions, then it may be time to move on. Either that or you may end up doing her job for her as well as your own.
â HLGEM
Jun 4 '14 at 14:16
1
Direcctly opposing this person is likely to be what we call a career limiting move.
â HLGEM
Jun 4 '14 at 14:17
 |Â
show 3 more comments
up vote
1
down vote
favorite
up vote
1
down vote
favorite
Our CEO wants to hire his girlfriend to do some design work. Our company (~15 people) is located overseas, and the CEO spends about half of his time back in the States, but heâÂÂs going to be here for a while this time. His girlfriend is coming over to visit, and I just found out he wants to hire her to do some part-time design work.
Since sheâÂÂd be re-doing the design of a system IâÂÂve made, IâÂÂm naturally concerned about being put into a position where I canâÂÂt disagree.
We normally have a strict & involved hiring policy, and IâÂÂm concerned that sheâÂÂs going to be going around that. Even if she does go through the normal procedure, IâÂÂm concerned that nobody will have the guts to say no, since the CEO will know who it was that stopped her application.
IâÂÂve already mentioned that I think itâÂÂs unusual & inappropriate to hire girlfriends of employees, but things seem to be progressing anyway. What can I do?
IâÂÂm willing to make waves about this, but it would be great if there were a well-respected / well-written explanation for why this is bad practice. I havenâÂÂt been able to find any really convincing and clear explanation I could use to make this point.
hiring-process nepotism
Our CEO wants to hire his girlfriend to do some design work. Our company (~15 people) is located overseas, and the CEO spends about half of his time back in the States, but heâÂÂs going to be here for a while this time. His girlfriend is coming over to visit, and I just found out he wants to hire her to do some part-time design work.
Since sheâÂÂd be re-doing the design of a system IâÂÂve made, IâÂÂm naturally concerned about being put into a position where I canâÂÂt disagree.
We normally have a strict & involved hiring policy, and IâÂÂm concerned that sheâÂÂs going to be going around that. Even if she does go through the normal procedure, IâÂÂm concerned that nobody will have the guts to say no, since the CEO will know who it was that stopped her application.
IâÂÂve already mentioned that I think itâÂÂs unusual & inappropriate to hire girlfriends of employees, but things seem to be progressing anyway. What can I do?
IâÂÂm willing to make waves about this, but it would be great if there were a well-respected / well-written explanation for why this is bad practice. I havenâÂÂt been able to find any really convincing and clear explanation I could use to make this point.
hiring-process nepotism
edited Jun 4 '14 at 2:46
JakeGould
6,5821739
6,5821739
asked Jun 4 '14 at 1:54
anoncowardo
225
225
closed as unclear what you're asking by Jim G., gnat, Joe Strazzere, jcmeloni, IDrinkandIKnowThings Jun 4 '14 at 14:03
Please clarify your specific problem or add additional details to highlight exactly what you need. As it's currently written, itâÂÂs hard to tell exactly what you're asking. See the How to Ask page for help clarifying this question. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.
closed as unclear what you're asking by Jim G., gnat, Joe Strazzere, jcmeloni, IDrinkandIKnowThings Jun 4 '14 at 14:03
Please clarify your specific problem or add additional details to highlight exactly what you need. As it's currently written, itâÂÂs hard to tell exactly what you're asking. See the How to Ask page for help clarifying this question. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.
Don't you think she is qualified?
â Thorbjørn Ravn Andersen
Jun 4 '14 at 6:12
I don't know anything about her - none of us have met her except the CEO.
â anoncowardo
Jun 4 '14 at 8:56
3
So this is not a question about her not being qualified, but about you not wanting to lose control of your pet system?
â Thorbjørn Ravn Andersen
Jun 4 '14 at 9:20
2
I have worked in this situation before. It was not pretty. You are right to have a concern, but others are right to point out that she might in fact be qualified. Do realize that if you get this person on your side, she has a direct line to the CEO and can help you get your ideas implemented, so it is worth it to at least try to work well with her. If she is completely incompetent then the best you can do is understand it is his business to run and if that is how he makes decisions, then it may be time to move on. Either that or you may end up doing her job for her as well as your own.
â HLGEM
Jun 4 '14 at 14:16
1
Direcctly opposing this person is likely to be what we call a career limiting move.
â HLGEM
Jun 4 '14 at 14:17
 |Â
show 3 more comments
Don't you think she is qualified?
â Thorbjørn Ravn Andersen
Jun 4 '14 at 6:12
I don't know anything about her - none of us have met her except the CEO.
â anoncowardo
Jun 4 '14 at 8:56
3
So this is not a question about her not being qualified, but about you not wanting to lose control of your pet system?
â Thorbjørn Ravn Andersen
Jun 4 '14 at 9:20
2
I have worked in this situation before. It was not pretty. You are right to have a concern, but others are right to point out that she might in fact be qualified. Do realize that if you get this person on your side, she has a direct line to the CEO and can help you get your ideas implemented, so it is worth it to at least try to work well with her. If she is completely incompetent then the best you can do is understand it is his business to run and if that is how he makes decisions, then it may be time to move on. Either that or you may end up doing her job for her as well as your own.
â HLGEM
Jun 4 '14 at 14:16
1
Direcctly opposing this person is likely to be what we call a career limiting move.
â HLGEM
Jun 4 '14 at 14:17
Don't you think she is qualified?
â Thorbjørn Ravn Andersen
Jun 4 '14 at 6:12
Don't you think she is qualified?
â Thorbjørn Ravn Andersen
Jun 4 '14 at 6:12
I don't know anything about her - none of us have met her except the CEO.
â anoncowardo
Jun 4 '14 at 8:56
I don't know anything about her - none of us have met her except the CEO.
â anoncowardo
Jun 4 '14 at 8:56
3
3
So this is not a question about her not being qualified, but about you not wanting to lose control of your pet system?
â Thorbjørn Ravn Andersen
Jun 4 '14 at 9:20
So this is not a question about her not being qualified, but about you not wanting to lose control of your pet system?
â Thorbjørn Ravn Andersen
Jun 4 '14 at 9:20
2
2
I have worked in this situation before. It was not pretty. You are right to have a concern, but others are right to point out that she might in fact be qualified. Do realize that if you get this person on your side, she has a direct line to the CEO and can help you get your ideas implemented, so it is worth it to at least try to work well with her. If she is completely incompetent then the best you can do is understand it is his business to run and if that is how he makes decisions, then it may be time to move on. Either that or you may end up doing her job for her as well as your own.
â HLGEM
Jun 4 '14 at 14:16
I have worked in this situation before. It was not pretty. You are right to have a concern, but others are right to point out that she might in fact be qualified. Do realize that if you get this person on your side, she has a direct line to the CEO and can help you get your ideas implemented, so it is worth it to at least try to work well with her. If she is completely incompetent then the best you can do is understand it is his business to run and if that is how he makes decisions, then it may be time to move on. Either that or you may end up doing her job for her as well as your own.
â HLGEM
Jun 4 '14 at 14:16
1
1
Direcctly opposing this person is likely to be what we call a career limiting move.
â HLGEM
Jun 4 '14 at 14:17
Direcctly opposing this person is likely to be what we call a career limiting move.
â HLGEM
Jun 4 '14 at 14:17
 |Â
show 3 more comments
3 Answers
3
active
oldest
votes
up vote
10
down vote
accepted
First you say this:
His girlfriend is coming over to visit, and I just found out he wants
to hire her to do some part-time design work.
Then you say this:
Since sheâÂÂd be re-doing the design of a system IâÂÂve made, IâÂÂm
naturally concerned about being put into a position where I canâÂÂt
disagree.
SheâÂÂs part-time. And sheâÂÂs your bossâ girlfriend. And what else?
The reality is family & friends get hired in different gigs all the time. You shouldnâÂÂt fear her for being the girlfriend of your boss unless she proves herself to simply be riding on nepotism.
IâÂÂm willing to make waves about this, but it would be great if there
were a well-respected / well-written explanation for why this is bad
practice.
You should be open minded, assume good faith & let her work with you. You cannot presume you will change her hiring & a âÂÂwell-respected / well-written explanationâ adds up to not much. Assume good faith. But document all encounters.
And you know what? For all you know, she could be very open minded about your work & can actually be an advocate for you when talking to your boss. So donâÂÂt assume the worst of a case like this. This could work in your favor.
2
I'd like to add that to be on the safe side, keep records/e-mails of all the work (if any) you do with her. If the boss is going to overlook or hide problems created by her, then you need to be prepared for that.
â Borat Sagdiyev
Jun 4 '14 at 4:30
1
You only should worry about friends & family being hired after a problem occurs. Until you see senior staff giving preferential treatment, etc. There is no problem. I used to work in a family owned business I will say in that office if anything family was treated with higher scrutiny. (That and having your boss visit because you married his daughter as regularly as close families tend to is pretty miserable)
â RualStorge
Jun 4 '14 at 13:20
add a comment |Â
up vote
5
down vote
You assume that she is a competent professional, unless the facts point to a different conclusion. It is still incumbent on you to work effectively with her in the redesign of the systems. Because you'll have to live with the consequences of her redesign after she leaves. If she is competent, enhance her competence. If she is not competent, work to mitigate any damage she may produce. As a professional, I don't let myself be intimidated by management including the CEO let alone the CEO's close relations including the CEO's girlfriend.
I suggest that you hold your fire, size her up and assist her in the successful completion of her task to the utmost of your ability. You may end up having both to train her and to educate her on why you designed things the way you did. I suggest that you act with restraint, self-confidence, good cheer and with every intention that you will support her in the successful completion of her task,and that you don't take the easy way out by automatically dismissing her, her capabilities and her intellect simply because she is the CEO's girlfriend. Because if she fails and her failure can be traced in any way to a failure on your part to back her up, the blame will fall squarely on you. Capice? You work with what you've got. The propriety or lack of propriety of her selection by the CEO to carry out this task is irrelevant.
On the more positive side, she may very well enjoy the experience of working with you and may become a valuable ally in your dealings with the CEO.
add a comment |Â
up vote
0
down vote
Since sheâÂÂd be re-doing the design of a system IâÂÂve made, IâÂÂm naturally concerned about being put into a position where I canâÂÂt disagree.
It is a problematic situation, you are right, but let's see the facts:
- She didn't prove herself yet, she might be good workforce, flexible and negotiable.
- The fact that she is the girlfriend of your boss don't qualify her in any way or form. She will be your collegue just like anybody else (except you shouldn't woo her).
The good attitude:
- Be polite with her. Assume she is not different than anybody else.
- Give her a chance. Same applies here.
- If she makes mistakes, tell her how to improve, and help like you help to anybody else.
- Be honest with your boss if she is doing series mistakes, and she doesn't improve.
I would like to stress out, if you don't say it, you support bad deceisons and living together with them. If your boss gets angry, and punishes you, that is a good sign to look after different job. It is the boss' job to hire or apply right people to the right places in his project.
The worst case scenario is his fault, and you can find an another job if this is the case. Better to get into a conflict with your boss than just passively suffer from incompetence.
On the other hand if the boss listens you and you have facts to talk about, then you are getting ensured about you have a good and objective thinking boss, and that is a very good moment put a lot of faith in him.
add a comment |Â
3 Answers
3
active
oldest
votes
3 Answers
3
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
up vote
10
down vote
accepted
First you say this:
His girlfriend is coming over to visit, and I just found out he wants
to hire her to do some part-time design work.
Then you say this:
Since sheâÂÂd be re-doing the design of a system IâÂÂve made, IâÂÂm
naturally concerned about being put into a position where I canâÂÂt
disagree.
SheâÂÂs part-time. And sheâÂÂs your bossâ girlfriend. And what else?
The reality is family & friends get hired in different gigs all the time. You shouldnâÂÂt fear her for being the girlfriend of your boss unless she proves herself to simply be riding on nepotism.
IâÂÂm willing to make waves about this, but it would be great if there
were a well-respected / well-written explanation for why this is bad
practice.
You should be open minded, assume good faith & let her work with you. You cannot presume you will change her hiring & a âÂÂwell-respected / well-written explanationâ adds up to not much. Assume good faith. But document all encounters.
And you know what? For all you know, she could be very open minded about your work & can actually be an advocate for you when talking to your boss. So donâÂÂt assume the worst of a case like this. This could work in your favor.
2
I'd like to add that to be on the safe side, keep records/e-mails of all the work (if any) you do with her. If the boss is going to overlook or hide problems created by her, then you need to be prepared for that.
â Borat Sagdiyev
Jun 4 '14 at 4:30
1
You only should worry about friends & family being hired after a problem occurs. Until you see senior staff giving preferential treatment, etc. There is no problem. I used to work in a family owned business I will say in that office if anything family was treated with higher scrutiny. (That and having your boss visit because you married his daughter as regularly as close families tend to is pretty miserable)
â RualStorge
Jun 4 '14 at 13:20
add a comment |Â
up vote
10
down vote
accepted
First you say this:
His girlfriend is coming over to visit, and I just found out he wants
to hire her to do some part-time design work.
Then you say this:
Since sheâÂÂd be re-doing the design of a system IâÂÂve made, IâÂÂm
naturally concerned about being put into a position where I canâÂÂt
disagree.
SheâÂÂs part-time. And sheâÂÂs your bossâ girlfriend. And what else?
The reality is family & friends get hired in different gigs all the time. You shouldnâÂÂt fear her for being the girlfriend of your boss unless she proves herself to simply be riding on nepotism.
IâÂÂm willing to make waves about this, but it would be great if there
were a well-respected / well-written explanation for why this is bad
practice.
You should be open minded, assume good faith & let her work with you. You cannot presume you will change her hiring & a âÂÂwell-respected / well-written explanationâ adds up to not much. Assume good faith. But document all encounters.
And you know what? For all you know, she could be very open minded about your work & can actually be an advocate for you when talking to your boss. So donâÂÂt assume the worst of a case like this. This could work in your favor.
2
I'd like to add that to be on the safe side, keep records/e-mails of all the work (if any) you do with her. If the boss is going to overlook or hide problems created by her, then you need to be prepared for that.
â Borat Sagdiyev
Jun 4 '14 at 4:30
1
You only should worry about friends & family being hired after a problem occurs. Until you see senior staff giving preferential treatment, etc. There is no problem. I used to work in a family owned business I will say in that office if anything family was treated with higher scrutiny. (That and having your boss visit because you married his daughter as regularly as close families tend to is pretty miserable)
â RualStorge
Jun 4 '14 at 13:20
add a comment |Â
up vote
10
down vote
accepted
up vote
10
down vote
accepted
First you say this:
His girlfriend is coming over to visit, and I just found out he wants
to hire her to do some part-time design work.
Then you say this:
Since sheâÂÂd be re-doing the design of a system IâÂÂve made, IâÂÂm
naturally concerned about being put into a position where I canâÂÂt
disagree.
SheâÂÂs part-time. And sheâÂÂs your bossâ girlfriend. And what else?
The reality is family & friends get hired in different gigs all the time. You shouldnâÂÂt fear her for being the girlfriend of your boss unless she proves herself to simply be riding on nepotism.
IâÂÂm willing to make waves about this, but it would be great if there
were a well-respected / well-written explanation for why this is bad
practice.
You should be open minded, assume good faith & let her work with you. You cannot presume you will change her hiring & a âÂÂwell-respected / well-written explanationâ adds up to not much. Assume good faith. But document all encounters.
And you know what? For all you know, she could be very open minded about your work & can actually be an advocate for you when talking to your boss. So donâÂÂt assume the worst of a case like this. This could work in your favor.
First you say this:
His girlfriend is coming over to visit, and I just found out he wants
to hire her to do some part-time design work.
Then you say this:
Since sheâÂÂd be re-doing the design of a system IâÂÂve made, IâÂÂm
naturally concerned about being put into a position where I canâÂÂt
disagree.
SheâÂÂs part-time. And sheâÂÂs your bossâ girlfriend. And what else?
The reality is family & friends get hired in different gigs all the time. You shouldnâÂÂt fear her for being the girlfriend of your boss unless she proves herself to simply be riding on nepotism.
IâÂÂm willing to make waves about this, but it would be great if there
were a well-respected / well-written explanation for why this is bad
practice.
You should be open minded, assume good faith & let her work with you. You cannot presume you will change her hiring & a âÂÂwell-respected / well-written explanationâ adds up to not much. Assume good faith. But document all encounters.
And you know what? For all you know, she could be very open minded about your work & can actually be an advocate for you when talking to your boss. So donâÂÂt assume the worst of a case like this. This could work in your favor.
answered Jun 4 '14 at 2:38
JakeGould
6,5821739
6,5821739
2
I'd like to add that to be on the safe side, keep records/e-mails of all the work (if any) you do with her. If the boss is going to overlook or hide problems created by her, then you need to be prepared for that.
â Borat Sagdiyev
Jun 4 '14 at 4:30
1
You only should worry about friends & family being hired after a problem occurs. Until you see senior staff giving preferential treatment, etc. There is no problem. I used to work in a family owned business I will say in that office if anything family was treated with higher scrutiny. (That and having your boss visit because you married his daughter as regularly as close families tend to is pretty miserable)
â RualStorge
Jun 4 '14 at 13:20
add a comment |Â
2
I'd like to add that to be on the safe side, keep records/e-mails of all the work (if any) you do with her. If the boss is going to overlook or hide problems created by her, then you need to be prepared for that.
â Borat Sagdiyev
Jun 4 '14 at 4:30
1
You only should worry about friends & family being hired after a problem occurs. Until you see senior staff giving preferential treatment, etc. There is no problem. I used to work in a family owned business I will say in that office if anything family was treated with higher scrutiny. (That and having your boss visit because you married his daughter as regularly as close families tend to is pretty miserable)
â RualStorge
Jun 4 '14 at 13:20
2
2
I'd like to add that to be on the safe side, keep records/e-mails of all the work (if any) you do with her. If the boss is going to overlook or hide problems created by her, then you need to be prepared for that.
â Borat Sagdiyev
Jun 4 '14 at 4:30
I'd like to add that to be on the safe side, keep records/e-mails of all the work (if any) you do with her. If the boss is going to overlook or hide problems created by her, then you need to be prepared for that.
â Borat Sagdiyev
Jun 4 '14 at 4:30
1
1
You only should worry about friends & family being hired after a problem occurs. Until you see senior staff giving preferential treatment, etc. There is no problem. I used to work in a family owned business I will say in that office if anything family was treated with higher scrutiny. (That and having your boss visit because you married his daughter as regularly as close families tend to is pretty miserable)
â RualStorge
Jun 4 '14 at 13:20
You only should worry about friends & family being hired after a problem occurs. Until you see senior staff giving preferential treatment, etc. There is no problem. I used to work in a family owned business I will say in that office if anything family was treated with higher scrutiny. (That and having your boss visit because you married his daughter as regularly as close families tend to is pretty miserable)
â RualStorge
Jun 4 '14 at 13:20
add a comment |Â
up vote
5
down vote
You assume that she is a competent professional, unless the facts point to a different conclusion. It is still incumbent on you to work effectively with her in the redesign of the systems. Because you'll have to live with the consequences of her redesign after she leaves. If she is competent, enhance her competence. If she is not competent, work to mitigate any damage she may produce. As a professional, I don't let myself be intimidated by management including the CEO let alone the CEO's close relations including the CEO's girlfriend.
I suggest that you hold your fire, size her up and assist her in the successful completion of her task to the utmost of your ability. You may end up having both to train her and to educate her on why you designed things the way you did. I suggest that you act with restraint, self-confidence, good cheer and with every intention that you will support her in the successful completion of her task,and that you don't take the easy way out by automatically dismissing her, her capabilities and her intellect simply because she is the CEO's girlfriend. Because if she fails and her failure can be traced in any way to a failure on your part to back her up, the blame will fall squarely on you. Capice? You work with what you've got. The propriety or lack of propriety of her selection by the CEO to carry out this task is irrelevant.
On the more positive side, she may very well enjoy the experience of working with you and may become a valuable ally in your dealings with the CEO.
add a comment |Â
up vote
5
down vote
You assume that she is a competent professional, unless the facts point to a different conclusion. It is still incumbent on you to work effectively with her in the redesign of the systems. Because you'll have to live with the consequences of her redesign after she leaves. If she is competent, enhance her competence. If she is not competent, work to mitigate any damage she may produce. As a professional, I don't let myself be intimidated by management including the CEO let alone the CEO's close relations including the CEO's girlfriend.
I suggest that you hold your fire, size her up and assist her in the successful completion of her task to the utmost of your ability. You may end up having both to train her and to educate her on why you designed things the way you did. I suggest that you act with restraint, self-confidence, good cheer and with every intention that you will support her in the successful completion of her task,and that you don't take the easy way out by automatically dismissing her, her capabilities and her intellect simply because she is the CEO's girlfriend. Because if she fails and her failure can be traced in any way to a failure on your part to back her up, the blame will fall squarely on you. Capice? You work with what you've got. The propriety or lack of propriety of her selection by the CEO to carry out this task is irrelevant.
On the more positive side, she may very well enjoy the experience of working with you and may become a valuable ally in your dealings with the CEO.
add a comment |Â
up vote
5
down vote
up vote
5
down vote
You assume that she is a competent professional, unless the facts point to a different conclusion. It is still incumbent on you to work effectively with her in the redesign of the systems. Because you'll have to live with the consequences of her redesign after she leaves. If she is competent, enhance her competence. If she is not competent, work to mitigate any damage she may produce. As a professional, I don't let myself be intimidated by management including the CEO let alone the CEO's close relations including the CEO's girlfriend.
I suggest that you hold your fire, size her up and assist her in the successful completion of her task to the utmost of your ability. You may end up having both to train her and to educate her on why you designed things the way you did. I suggest that you act with restraint, self-confidence, good cheer and with every intention that you will support her in the successful completion of her task,and that you don't take the easy way out by automatically dismissing her, her capabilities and her intellect simply because she is the CEO's girlfriend. Because if she fails and her failure can be traced in any way to a failure on your part to back her up, the blame will fall squarely on you. Capice? You work with what you've got. The propriety or lack of propriety of her selection by the CEO to carry out this task is irrelevant.
On the more positive side, she may very well enjoy the experience of working with you and may become a valuable ally in your dealings with the CEO.
You assume that she is a competent professional, unless the facts point to a different conclusion. It is still incumbent on you to work effectively with her in the redesign of the systems. Because you'll have to live with the consequences of her redesign after she leaves. If she is competent, enhance her competence. If she is not competent, work to mitigate any damage she may produce. As a professional, I don't let myself be intimidated by management including the CEO let alone the CEO's close relations including the CEO's girlfriend.
I suggest that you hold your fire, size her up and assist her in the successful completion of her task to the utmost of your ability. You may end up having both to train her and to educate her on why you designed things the way you did. I suggest that you act with restraint, self-confidence, good cheer and with every intention that you will support her in the successful completion of her task,and that you don't take the easy way out by automatically dismissing her, her capabilities and her intellect simply because she is the CEO's girlfriend. Because if she fails and her failure can be traced in any way to a failure on your part to back her up, the blame will fall squarely on you. Capice? You work with what you've got. The propriety or lack of propriety of her selection by the CEO to carry out this task is irrelevant.
On the more positive side, she may very well enjoy the experience of working with you and may become a valuable ally in your dealings with the CEO.
edited Jun 4 '14 at 2:41
answered Jun 4 '14 at 2:25
Vietnhi Phuvan
68.9k7118254
68.9k7118254
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up vote
0
down vote
Since sheâÂÂd be re-doing the design of a system IâÂÂve made, IâÂÂm naturally concerned about being put into a position where I canâÂÂt disagree.
It is a problematic situation, you are right, but let's see the facts:
- She didn't prove herself yet, she might be good workforce, flexible and negotiable.
- The fact that she is the girlfriend of your boss don't qualify her in any way or form. She will be your collegue just like anybody else (except you shouldn't woo her).
The good attitude:
- Be polite with her. Assume she is not different than anybody else.
- Give her a chance. Same applies here.
- If she makes mistakes, tell her how to improve, and help like you help to anybody else.
- Be honest with your boss if she is doing series mistakes, and she doesn't improve.
I would like to stress out, if you don't say it, you support bad deceisons and living together with them. If your boss gets angry, and punishes you, that is a good sign to look after different job. It is the boss' job to hire or apply right people to the right places in his project.
The worst case scenario is his fault, and you can find an another job if this is the case. Better to get into a conflict with your boss than just passively suffer from incompetence.
On the other hand if the boss listens you and you have facts to talk about, then you are getting ensured about you have a good and objective thinking boss, and that is a very good moment put a lot of faith in him.
add a comment |Â
up vote
0
down vote
Since sheâÂÂd be re-doing the design of a system IâÂÂve made, IâÂÂm naturally concerned about being put into a position where I canâÂÂt disagree.
It is a problematic situation, you are right, but let's see the facts:
- She didn't prove herself yet, she might be good workforce, flexible and negotiable.
- The fact that she is the girlfriend of your boss don't qualify her in any way or form. She will be your collegue just like anybody else (except you shouldn't woo her).
The good attitude:
- Be polite with her. Assume she is not different than anybody else.
- Give her a chance. Same applies here.
- If she makes mistakes, tell her how to improve, and help like you help to anybody else.
- Be honest with your boss if she is doing series mistakes, and she doesn't improve.
I would like to stress out, if you don't say it, you support bad deceisons and living together with them. If your boss gets angry, and punishes you, that is a good sign to look after different job. It is the boss' job to hire or apply right people to the right places in his project.
The worst case scenario is his fault, and you can find an another job if this is the case. Better to get into a conflict with your boss than just passively suffer from incompetence.
On the other hand if the boss listens you and you have facts to talk about, then you are getting ensured about you have a good and objective thinking boss, and that is a very good moment put a lot of faith in him.
add a comment |Â
up vote
0
down vote
up vote
0
down vote
Since sheâÂÂd be re-doing the design of a system IâÂÂve made, IâÂÂm naturally concerned about being put into a position where I canâÂÂt disagree.
It is a problematic situation, you are right, but let's see the facts:
- She didn't prove herself yet, she might be good workforce, flexible and negotiable.
- The fact that she is the girlfriend of your boss don't qualify her in any way or form. She will be your collegue just like anybody else (except you shouldn't woo her).
The good attitude:
- Be polite with her. Assume she is not different than anybody else.
- Give her a chance. Same applies here.
- If she makes mistakes, tell her how to improve, and help like you help to anybody else.
- Be honest with your boss if she is doing series mistakes, and she doesn't improve.
I would like to stress out, if you don't say it, you support bad deceisons and living together with them. If your boss gets angry, and punishes you, that is a good sign to look after different job. It is the boss' job to hire or apply right people to the right places in his project.
The worst case scenario is his fault, and you can find an another job if this is the case. Better to get into a conflict with your boss than just passively suffer from incompetence.
On the other hand if the boss listens you and you have facts to talk about, then you are getting ensured about you have a good and objective thinking boss, and that is a very good moment put a lot of faith in him.
Since sheâÂÂd be re-doing the design of a system IâÂÂve made, IâÂÂm naturally concerned about being put into a position where I canâÂÂt disagree.
It is a problematic situation, you are right, but let's see the facts:
- She didn't prove herself yet, she might be good workforce, flexible and negotiable.
- The fact that she is the girlfriend of your boss don't qualify her in any way or form. She will be your collegue just like anybody else (except you shouldn't woo her).
The good attitude:
- Be polite with her. Assume she is not different than anybody else.
- Give her a chance. Same applies here.
- If she makes mistakes, tell her how to improve, and help like you help to anybody else.
- Be honest with your boss if she is doing series mistakes, and she doesn't improve.
I would like to stress out, if you don't say it, you support bad deceisons and living together with them. If your boss gets angry, and punishes you, that is a good sign to look after different job. It is the boss' job to hire or apply right people to the right places in his project.
The worst case scenario is his fault, and you can find an another job if this is the case. Better to get into a conflict with your boss than just passively suffer from incompetence.
On the other hand if the boss listens you and you have facts to talk about, then you are getting ensured about you have a good and objective thinking boss, and that is a very good moment put a lot of faith in him.
edited Jun 4 '14 at 13:47
answered Jun 4 '14 at 13:41
CsBalazsHungary
219410
219410
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add a comment |Â
Don't you think she is qualified?
â Thorbjørn Ravn Andersen
Jun 4 '14 at 6:12
I don't know anything about her - none of us have met her except the CEO.
â anoncowardo
Jun 4 '14 at 8:56
3
So this is not a question about her not being qualified, but about you not wanting to lose control of your pet system?
â Thorbjørn Ravn Andersen
Jun 4 '14 at 9:20
2
I have worked in this situation before. It was not pretty. You are right to have a concern, but others are right to point out that she might in fact be qualified. Do realize that if you get this person on your side, she has a direct line to the CEO and can help you get your ideas implemented, so it is worth it to at least try to work well with her. If she is completely incompetent then the best you can do is understand it is his business to run and if that is how he makes decisions, then it may be time to move on. Either that or you may end up doing her job for her as well as your own.
â HLGEM
Jun 4 '14 at 14:16
1
Direcctly opposing this person is likely to be what we call a career limiting move.
â HLGEM
Jun 4 '14 at 14:17