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How to back out if possible? [closed]
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Some background information:
- I am visually impaired/legally blind so I can't technically drive. This isn't a major problem for me either though as I do know how to get around town either by paying a taxi or by just walking.
- This job offer is at the other office branch ( which is actually also corporate ), but one of the major threads here is that it's 200+ miles away from all of my family.
- My dad also does have late kidney disease and I don't want to get into a situation where he has to be hospitalized or something and I can't be there. I think he is taking this job offer of mine quite hard as well. At first I drove it off as a protective parent thing but now I just don't know...
The actual issue is this:
I have already accepted a job offer at the corporate branch where I work which as I stated above is about 200 miles south of where I live currently. Part of me wants the job, but the other part of me doesn't want to leave either because my family/co-workers here have already pretty much "tore" into me talking about being missed and with my dad mostly talking about him now wanting me to go and that type of stuff. The normal every day parental stuff I guess you know?
When I was in college living at the dorms only fifty miles away my dad had the same concern. He thought I wasn't going to do my homework and that type of stuff which he was wrong about and I guess he had to accept that fact. But now we are talking about 200 miles away and he's afraid I won't be able to take care of myself.
So my question is at this point is it wrong to back out? Should I go against my family wishes? How does an employer see stuff like this?
job-offer
edited Jul 9 '14 at 15:15
yochannah
4,21462747
asked Jul 9 '14 at 14:44
AWBrown
142
closed as primarily opinion-based by gnat, Joe Strazzere, Garrison Neely, jcmeloni, Jim G. Jul 9 '14 at 20:31
Many good questions generate some degree of opinion based on expert experience, but answers to this question will tend to be almost entirely based on opinions, rather than facts, references, or specific expertise. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
0
down vote
favorite
Some background information:
- I am visually impaired/legally blind so I can't technically drive. This isn't a major problem for me either though as I do know how to get around town either by paying a taxi or by just walking.
- This job offer is at the other office branch ( which is actually also corporate ), but one of the major threads here is that it's 200+ miles away from all of my family.
- My dad also does have late kidney disease and I don't want to get into a situation where he has to be hospitalized or something and I can't be there. I think he is taking this job offer of mine quite hard as well. At first I drove it off as a protective parent thing but now I just don't know...
The actual issue is this:
I have already accepted a job offer at the corporate branch where I work which as I stated above is about 200 miles south of where I live currently. Part of me wants the job, but the other part of me doesn't want to leave either because my family/co-workers here have already pretty much "tore" into me talking about being missed and with my dad mostly talking about him now wanting me to go and that type of stuff. The normal every day parental stuff I guess you know?
When I was in college living at the dorms only fifty miles away my dad had the same concern. He thought I wasn't going to do my homework and that type of stuff which he was wrong about and I guess he had to accept that fact. But now we are talking about 200 miles away and he's afraid I won't be able to take care of myself.
So my question is at this point is it wrong to back out? Should I go against my family wishes? How does an employer see stuff like this?
job-offer
edited Jul 9 '14 at 15:15
yochannah
4,21462747
asked Jul 9 '14 at 14:44
AWBrown
142
closed as primarily opinion-based by gnat, Joe Strazzere, Garrison Neely, jcmeloni, Jim G. Jul 9 '14 at 20:31
Many good questions generate some degree of opinion based on expert experience, but answers to this question will tend to be almost entirely based on opinions, rather than facts, references, or specific expertise. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.
4
First, you are an adult now, what your father wants you to do is now irrelevant; it is your life and your future. Do you want the chaallenge of this job or not? Don't let him manipulate you into messing up your career for his convenience. If he gets sick and you have a family emergency, then come home for the emergency. You might even talk to your new boss about setting up a way to telecommute if you have to go home for an extended length of time since he already has health issues. I lived far away from my parents and did what I needed to do when they got ill and even when they died.
– HLGEM
Jul 9 '14 at 15:17
Your desire to be close to your family is one thing but their concerns is better left up to you to decide. As pointed out. You are an adult. If you want to be close to your father near the end of his life, thats fine, make the decision. Just don't allow his concerns like "not doing your homework" make the decision for you. But there wil always be a decision like this, you will have to decide what you want to do on your own for your own reasons.
– Ramhound
Jul 9 '14 at 15:23
And you could end up out of a job over this or never again in consideration for a better job at that employer since it is your current employer. It is much riskier to make your current employer mad at you tahn some company you won't ever try to work for again. .
– HLGEM
Jul 9 '14 at 20:48
How will you attend the annual "Motherboy" contest if you move away?
– TheMathemagician
Jul 11 '14 at 14:47
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
0
down vote
favorite
up vote
0
down vote
favorite
Some background information:
- I am visually impaired/legally blind so I can't technically drive. This isn't a major problem for me either though as I do know how to get around town either by paying a taxi or by just walking.
- This job offer is at the other office branch ( which is actually also corporate ), but one of the major threads here is that it's 200+ miles away from all of my family.
- My dad also does have late kidney disease and I don't want to get into a situation where he has to be hospitalized or something and I can't be there. I think he is taking this job offer of mine quite hard as well. At first I drove it off as a protective parent thing but now I just don't know...
The actual issue is this:
I have already accepted a job offer at the corporate branch where I work which as I stated above is about 200 miles south of where I live currently. Part of me wants the job, but the other part of me doesn't want to leave either because my family/co-workers here have already pretty much "tore" into me talking about being missed and with my dad mostly talking about him now wanting me to go and that type of stuff. The normal every day parental stuff I guess you know?
When I was in college living at the dorms only fifty miles away my dad had the same concern. He thought I wasn't going to do my homework and that type of stuff which he was wrong about and I guess he had to accept that fact. But now we are talking about 200 miles away and he's afraid I won't be able to take care of myself.
So my question is at this point is it wrong to back out? Should I go against my family wishes? How does an employer see stuff like this?
job-offer
edited Jul 9 '14 at 15:15
yochannah
4,21462747
asked Jul 9 '14 at 14:44
AWBrown
142
Some background information:
- I am visually impaired/legally blind so I can't technically drive. This isn't a major problem for me either though as I do know how to get around town either by paying a taxi or by just walking.
- This job offer is at the other office branch ( which is actually also corporate ), but one of the major threads here is that it's 200+ miles away from all of my family.
- My dad also does have late kidney disease and I don't want to get into a situation where he has to be hospitalized or something and I can't be there. I think he is taking this job offer of mine quite hard as well. At first I drove it off as a protective parent thing but now I just don't know...
The actual issue is this:
I have already accepted a job offer at the corporate branch where I work which as I stated above is about 200 miles south of where I live currently. Part of me wants the job, but the other part of me doesn't want to leave either because my family/co-workers here have already pretty much "tore" into me talking about being missed and with my dad mostly talking about him now wanting me to go and that type of stuff. The normal every day parental stuff I guess you know?
When I was in college living at the dorms only fifty miles away my dad had the same concern. He thought I wasn't going to do my homework and that type of stuff which he was wrong about and I guess he had to accept that fact. But now we are talking about 200 miles away and he's afraid I won't be able to take care of myself.
So my question is at this point is it wrong to back out? Should I go against my family wishes? How does an employer see stuff like this?
job-offer
edited Jul 9 '14 at 15:15
yochannah
4,21462747
asked Jul 9 '14 at 14:44
AWBrown
142
edited Jul 9 '14 at 15:15
yochannah
4,21462747
edited Jul 9 '14 at 15:15
yochannah
4,21462747
edited Jul 9 '14 at 15:15
yochannah
4,21462747
4,21462747
asked Jul 9 '14 at 14:44
AWBrown
142
asked Jul 9 '14 at 14:44
AWBrown
142
asked Jul 9 '14 at 14:44
AWBrown
142
142
closed as primarily opinion-based by gnat, Joe Strazzere, Garrison Neely, jcmeloni, Jim G. Jul 9 '14 at 20:31
Many good questions generate some degree of opinion based on expert experience, but answers to this question will tend to be almost entirely based on opinions, rather than facts, references, or specific expertise. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.
closed as primarily opinion-based by gnat, Joe Strazzere, Garrison Neely, jcmeloni, Jim G. Jul 9 '14 at 20:31
Many good questions generate some degree of opinion based on expert experience, but answers to this question will tend to be almost entirely based on opinions, rather than facts, references, or specific expertise. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.
4
First, you are an adult now, what your father wants you to do is now irrelevant; it is your life and your future. Do you want the chaallenge of this job or not? Don't let him manipulate you into messing up your career for his convenience. If he gets sick and you have a family emergency, then come home for the emergency. You might even talk to your new boss about setting up a way to telecommute if you have to go home for an extended length of time since he already has health issues. I lived far away from my parents and did what I needed to do when they got ill and even when they died.
– HLGEM
Jul 9 '14 at 15:17
Your desire to be close to your family is one thing but their concerns is better left up to you to decide. As pointed out. You are an adult. If you want to be close to your father near the end of his life, thats fine, make the decision. Just don't allow his concerns like "not doing your homework" make the decision for you. But there wil always be a decision like this, you will have to decide what you want to do on your own for your own reasons.
– Ramhound
Jul 9 '14 at 15:23
And you could end up out of a job over this or never again in consideration for a better job at that employer since it is your current employer. It is much riskier to make your current employer mad at you tahn some company you won't ever try to work for again. .
– HLGEM
Jul 9 '14 at 20:48
How will you attend the annual "Motherboy" contest if you move away?
– TheMathemagician
Jul 11 '14 at 14:47
suggest improvements |Â
4
First, you are an adult now, what your father wants you to do is now irrelevant; it is your life and your future. Do you want the chaallenge of this job or not? Don't let him manipulate you into messing up your career for his convenience. If he gets sick and you have a family emergency, then come home for the emergency. You might even talk to your new boss about setting up a way to telecommute if you have to go home for an extended length of time since he already has health issues. I lived far away from my parents and did what I needed to do when they got ill and even when they died.
– HLGEM
Jul 9 '14 at 15:17
Your desire to be close to your family is one thing but their concerns is better left up to you to decide. As pointed out. You are an adult. If you want to be close to your father near the end of his life, thats fine, make the decision. Just don't allow his concerns like "not doing your homework" make the decision for you. But there wil always be a decision like this, you will have to decide what you want to do on your own for your own reasons.
– Ramhound
Jul 9 '14 at 15:23
And you could end up out of a job over this or never again in consideration for a better job at that employer since it is your current employer. It is much riskier to make your current employer mad at you tahn some company you won't ever try to work for again. .
– HLGEM
Jul 9 '14 at 20:48
How will you attend the annual "Motherboy" contest if you move away?
– TheMathemagician
Jul 11 '14 at 14:47
4
4
First, you are an adult now, what your father wants you to do is now irrelevant; it is your life and your future. Do you want the chaallenge of this job or not? Don't let him manipulate you into messing up your career for his convenience. If he gets sick and you have a family emergency, then come home for the emergency. You might even talk to your new boss about setting up a way to telecommute if you have to go home for an extended length of time since he already has health issues. I lived far away from my parents and did what I needed to do when they got ill and even when they died.
– HLGEM
Jul 9 '14 at 15:17
First, you are an adult now, what your father wants you to do is now irrelevant; it is your life and your future. Do you want the chaallenge of this job or not? Don't let him manipulate you into messing up your career for his convenience. If he gets sick and you have a family emergency, then come home for the emergency. You might even talk to your new boss about setting up a way to telecommute if you have to go home for an extended length of time since he already has health issues. I lived far away from my parents and did what I needed to do when they got ill and even when they died.
– HLGEM
Jul 9 '14 at 15:17
Your desire to be close to your family is one thing but their concerns is better left up to you to decide. As pointed out. You are an adult. If you want to be close to your father near the end of his life, thats fine, make the decision. Just don't allow his concerns like "not doing your homework" make the decision for you. But there wil always be a decision like this, you will have to decide what you want to do on your own for your own reasons.
– Ramhound
Jul 9 '14 at 15:23
Your desire to be close to your family is one thing but their concerns is better left up to you to decide. As pointed out. You are an adult. If you want to be close to your father near the end of his life, thats fine, make the decision. Just don't allow his concerns like "not doing your homework" make the decision for you. But there wil always be a decision like this, you will have to decide what you want to do on your own for your own reasons.
– Ramhound
Jul 9 '14 at 15:23
And you could end up out of a job over this or never again in consideration for a better job at that employer since it is your current employer. It is much riskier to make your current employer mad at you tahn some company you won't ever try to work for again. .
– HLGEM
Jul 9 '14 at 20:48
And you could end up out of a job over this or never again in consideration for a better job at that employer since it is your current employer. It is much riskier to make your current employer mad at you tahn some company you won't ever try to work for again. .
– HLGEM
Jul 9 '14 at 20:48
How will you attend the annual "Motherboy" contest if you move away?
– TheMathemagician
Jul 11 '14 at 14:47
How will you attend the annual "Motherboy" contest if you move away?
– TheMathemagician
Jul 11 '14 at 14:47
suggest improvements |Â
2 Answers
2
active
oldest
votes
up vote
2
down vote
If you back out after accepting the offer, you may well lose the chance of being able to work there in the future. Some companies may forgive you for withdrawing, others might not.
As to the rest, it sounds more like life choices than Workplace issues. Personally, I've been in both situations - I live far away from my immediate family (different country), but I've also been tied down to my local town where I live for nearly a decade due to infirm in-laws. There's no real way to tell you what you should be choosing, except to weigh up each option.
In your case, it's up to you to decide what is more important to you - long term career, independence, and happiness, or close proximity to your family.
If it's mostly just people telling you that you can't manage on your own, but you know you can - heck, don't let them bring you down, be your own person.
Good luck, whatever you decide.
Quick edit to add: When people really care, I'd like to imagine that they would rather you pursue what you want and need far away, than selfishly keep you close.
answered Jul 9 '14 at 14:49
yochannah
4,21462747
I have worked for this company for about a year and seven months and I do far more than what my current job entails. It's one of the things that I believe personally they are offering me this job for ( as really I don't meet the qualifications but I was told they was going to train me ) As I am still currently employed with the position I hold now until I move down there if I don't accept the job I would keep this position I would assume?
– AWBrown
Jul 9 '14 at 15:02
It depends on your contract and boss. If you're sure that you want to retract your offer, ask for a meeting with the relevant senior person at your current (not new) office, explain the situation, and ask them if you can stay.
– yochannah
Jul 9 '14 at 15:14
2
@AWBrown - Go to your boss. Explain your current situation. Ask your questions. Make it clear you are not making any decision "today" and will need to think about it. A good boss will help you come to the decision thats best for you.
– Ramhound
Jul 9 '14 at 15:25
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
1
down vote
It's time to move on.
Backing out of offers typically jeopardize future opportunities with that company (and if you went through a recruiter could remove a valuable resource) Which is sometimes necessary, for me it sounds more like you're a likable person (which is good) and people hate to see you go.
This is business, by all means make friends with coworkers, but don't ever let them stall your career. If they are a true friends while they will be sad to see you go, they'll also be happy for you.
As far as your father goes, I've watched my mother watch two of her three kids move away from homes for their careers. It's hard to watch someone you raised go out into the world on their own, I imagine with your disability they feel even more so worried something will happen to their little boy. Fact is, you're an adult, you have to decide do you want to spend your entire life near home with only those opportunities available? or do you go out into the world for better opportunities?
200 miles is not that bad. It's only hour to hour(s) of travel. If your father needs you near you just hop in a taxi and a chunk of change later you're there. By all means show you appreciate your concern, but you have to live your own life.
answered Jul 9 '14 at 19:32
RualStorge
9,5372231
You literally just outline how I explained it to my dad thanks. It can...be tough but as everyone has said I'm my own person and eventually you have to grow up and I am trying to do that. I always hear and read about HR people saying you have to look at where you going to be in 10 years and that's what I am doing.
– AWBrown
Jul 9 '14 at 19:35
understood, sometimes it helps to hear it from the outside. Essentially if this is what you want, do it.
– RualStorge
Jul 9 '14 at 19:37
suggest improvements |Â
2 Answers
2
active
oldest
votes
2 Answers
2
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
up vote
2
down vote
If you back out after accepting the offer, you may well lose the chance of being able to work there in the future. Some companies may forgive you for withdrawing, others might not.
As to the rest, it sounds more like life choices than Workplace issues. Personally, I've been in both situations - I live far away from my immediate family (different country), but I've also been tied down to my local town where I live for nearly a decade due to infirm in-laws. There's no real way to tell you what you should be choosing, except to weigh up each option.
In your case, it's up to you to decide what is more important to you - long term career, independence, and happiness, or close proximity to your family.
If it's mostly just people telling you that you can't manage on your own, but you know you can - heck, don't let them bring you down, be your own person.
Good luck, whatever you decide.
Quick edit to add: When people really care, I'd like to imagine that they would rather you pursue what you want and need far away, than selfishly keep you close.
answered Jul 9 '14 at 14:49
yochannah
4,21462747
I have worked for this company for about a year and seven months and I do far more than what my current job entails. It's one of the things that I believe personally they are offering me this job for ( as really I don't meet the qualifications but I was told they was going to train me ) As I am still currently employed with the position I hold now until I move down there if I don't accept the job I would keep this position I would assume?
– AWBrown
Jul 9 '14 at 15:02
It depends on your contract and boss. If you're sure that you want to retract your offer, ask for a meeting with the relevant senior person at your current (not new) office, explain the situation, and ask them if you can stay.
– yochannah
Jul 9 '14 at 15:14
2
@AWBrown - Go to your boss. Explain your current situation. Ask your questions. Make it clear you are not making any decision "today" and will need to think about it. A good boss will help you come to the decision thats best for you.
– Ramhound
Jul 9 '14 at 15:25
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
2
down vote
If you back out after accepting the offer, you may well lose the chance of being able to work there in the future. Some companies may forgive you for withdrawing, others might not.
As to the rest, it sounds more like life choices than Workplace issues. Personally, I've been in both situations - I live far away from my immediate family (different country), but I've also been tied down to my local town where I live for nearly a decade due to infirm in-laws. There's no real way to tell you what you should be choosing, except to weigh up each option.
In your case, it's up to you to decide what is more important to you - long term career, independence, and happiness, or close proximity to your family.
If it's mostly just people telling you that you can't manage on your own, but you know you can - heck, don't let them bring you down, be your own person.
Good luck, whatever you decide.
Quick edit to add: When people really care, I'd like to imagine that they would rather you pursue what you want and need far away, than selfishly keep you close.
answered Jul 9 '14 at 14:49
yochannah
4,21462747
I have worked for this company for about a year and seven months and I do far more than what my current job entails. It's one of the things that I believe personally they are offering me this job for ( as really I don't meet the qualifications but I was told they was going to train me ) As I am still currently employed with the position I hold now until I move down there if I don't accept the job I would keep this position I would assume?
– AWBrown
Jul 9 '14 at 15:02
It depends on your contract and boss. If you're sure that you want to retract your offer, ask for a meeting with the relevant senior person at your current (not new) office, explain the situation, and ask them if you can stay.
– yochannah
Jul 9 '14 at 15:14
2
@AWBrown - Go to your boss. Explain your current situation. Ask your questions. Make it clear you are not making any decision "today" and will need to think about it. A good boss will help you come to the decision thats best for you.
– Ramhound
Jul 9 '14 at 15:25
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
2
down vote
up vote
2
down vote
If you back out after accepting the offer, you may well lose the chance of being able to work there in the future. Some companies may forgive you for withdrawing, others might not.
As to the rest, it sounds more like life choices than Workplace issues. Personally, I've been in both situations - I live far away from my immediate family (different country), but I've also been tied down to my local town where I live for nearly a decade due to infirm in-laws. There's no real way to tell you what you should be choosing, except to weigh up each option.
In your case, it's up to you to decide what is more important to you - long term career, independence, and happiness, or close proximity to your family.
If it's mostly just people telling you that you can't manage on your own, but you know you can - heck, don't let them bring you down, be your own person.
Good luck, whatever you decide.
Quick edit to add: When people really care, I'd like to imagine that they would rather you pursue what you want and need far away, than selfishly keep you close.
answered Jul 9 '14 at 14:49
yochannah
4,21462747
If you back out after accepting the offer, you may well lose the chance of being able to work there in the future. Some companies may forgive you for withdrawing, others might not.
As to the rest, it sounds more like life choices than Workplace issues. Personally, I've been in both situations - I live far away from my immediate family (different country), but I've also been tied down to my local town where I live for nearly a decade due to infirm in-laws. There's no real way to tell you what you should be choosing, except to weigh up each option.
In your case, it's up to you to decide what is more important to you - long term career, independence, and happiness, or close proximity to your family.
If it's mostly just people telling you that you can't manage on your own, but you know you can - heck, don't let them bring you down, be your own person.
Good luck, whatever you decide.
Quick edit to add: When people really care, I'd like to imagine that they would rather you pursue what you want and need far away, than selfishly keep you close.
answered Jul 9 '14 at 14:49
yochannah
4,21462747
edited Jul 9 '14 at 14:54
answered Jul 9 '14 at 14:49
yochannah
4,21462747
answered Jul 9 '14 at 14:49
yochannah
4,21462747
answered Jul 9 '14 at 14:49
yochannah
4,21462747
4,21462747
I have worked for this company for about a year and seven months and I do far more than what my current job entails. It's one of the things that I believe personally they are offering me this job for ( as really I don't meet the qualifications but I was told they was going to train me ) As I am still currently employed with the position I hold now until I move down there if I don't accept the job I would keep this position I would assume?
– AWBrown
Jul 9 '14 at 15:02
It depends on your contract and boss. If you're sure that you want to retract your offer, ask for a meeting with the relevant senior person at your current (not new) office, explain the situation, and ask them if you can stay.
– yochannah
Jul 9 '14 at 15:14
2
@AWBrown - Go to your boss. Explain your current situation. Ask your questions. Make it clear you are not making any decision "today" and will need to think about it. A good boss will help you come to the decision thats best for you.
– Ramhound
Jul 9 '14 at 15:25
suggest improvements |Â
I have worked for this company for about a year and seven months and I do far more than what my current job entails. It's one of the things that I believe personally they are offering me this job for ( as really I don't meet the qualifications but I was told they was going to train me ) As I am still currently employed with the position I hold now until I move down there if I don't accept the job I would keep this position I would assume?
– AWBrown
Jul 9 '14 at 15:02
It depends on your contract and boss. If you're sure that you want to retract your offer, ask for a meeting with the relevant senior person at your current (not new) office, explain the situation, and ask them if you can stay.
– yochannah
Jul 9 '14 at 15:14
2
@AWBrown - Go to your boss. Explain your current situation. Ask your questions. Make it clear you are not making any decision "today" and will need to think about it. A good boss will help you come to the decision thats best for you.
– Ramhound
Jul 9 '14 at 15:25
I have worked for this company for about a year and seven months and I do far more than what my current job entails. It's one of the things that I believe personally they are offering me this job for ( as really I don't meet the qualifications but I was told they was going to train me ) As I am still currently employed with the position I hold now until I move down there if I don't accept the job I would keep this position I would assume?
– AWBrown
Jul 9 '14 at 15:02
I have worked for this company for about a year and seven months and I do far more than what my current job entails. It's one of the things that I believe personally they are offering me this job for ( as really I don't meet the qualifications but I was told they was going to train me ) As I am still currently employed with the position I hold now until I move down there if I don't accept the job I would keep this position I would assume?
– AWBrown
Jul 9 '14 at 15:02
It depends on your contract and boss. If you're sure that you want to retract your offer, ask for a meeting with the relevant senior person at your current (not new) office, explain the situation, and ask them if you can stay.
– yochannah
Jul 9 '14 at 15:14
It depends on your contract and boss. If you're sure that you want to retract your offer, ask for a meeting with the relevant senior person at your current (not new) office, explain the situation, and ask them if you can stay.
– yochannah
Jul 9 '14 at 15:14
2
2
@AWBrown - Go to your boss. Explain your current situation. Ask your questions. Make it clear you are not making any decision "today" and will need to think about it. A good boss will help you come to the decision thats best for you.
– Ramhound
Jul 9 '14 at 15:25
@AWBrown - Go to your boss. Explain your current situation. Ask your questions. Make it clear you are not making any decision "today" and will need to think about it. A good boss will help you come to the decision thats best for you.
– Ramhound
Jul 9 '14 at 15:25
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
1
down vote
It's time to move on.
Backing out of offers typically jeopardize future opportunities with that company (and if you went through a recruiter could remove a valuable resource) Which is sometimes necessary, for me it sounds more like you're a likable person (which is good) and people hate to see you go.
This is business, by all means make friends with coworkers, but don't ever let them stall your career. If they are a true friends while they will be sad to see you go, they'll also be happy for you.
As far as your father goes, I've watched my mother watch two of her three kids move away from homes for their careers. It's hard to watch someone you raised go out into the world on their own, I imagine with your disability they feel even more so worried something will happen to their little boy. Fact is, you're an adult, you have to decide do you want to spend your entire life near home with only those opportunities available? or do you go out into the world for better opportunities?
200 miles is not that bad. It's only hour to hour(s) of travel. If your father needs you near you just hop in a taxi and a chunk of change later you're there. By all means show you appreciate your concern, but you have to live your own life.
answered Jul 9 '14 at 19:32
RualStorge
9,5372231
You literally just outline how I explained it to my dad thanks. It can...be tough but as everyone has said I'm my own person and eventually you have to grow up and I am trying to do that. I always hear and read about HR people saying you have to look at where you going to be in 10 years and that's what I am doing.
– AWBrown
Jul 9 '14 at 19:35
understood, sometimes it helps to hear it from the outside. Essentially if this is what you want, do it.
– RualStorge
Jul 9 '14 at 19:37
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
1
down vote
It's time to move on.
Backing out of offers typically jeopardize future opportunities with that company (and if you went through a recruiter could remove a valuable resource) Which is sometimes necessary, for me it sounds more like you're a likable person (which is good) and people hate to see you go.
This is business, by all means make friends with coworkers, but don't ever let them stall your career. If they are a true friends while they will be sad to see you go, they'll also be happy for you.
As far as your father goes, I've watched my mother watch two of her three kids move away from homes for their careers. It's hard to watch someone you raised go out into the world on their own, I imagine with your disability they feel even more so worried something will happen to their little boy. Fact is, you're an adult, you have to decide do you want to spend your entire life near home with only those opportunities available? or do you go out into the world for better opportunities?
200 miles is not that bad. It's only hour to hour(s) of travel. If your father needs you near you just hop in a taxi and a chunk of change later you're there. By all means show you appreciate your concern, but you have to live your own life.
answered Jul 9 '14 at 19:32
RualStorge
9,5372231
You literally just outline how I explained it to my dad thanks. It can...be tough but as everyone has said I'm my own person and eventually you have to grow up and I am trying to do that. I always hear and read about HR people saying you have to look at where you going to be in 10 years and that's what I am doing.
– AWBrown
Jul 9 '14 at 19:35
understood, sometimes it helps to hear it from the outside. Essentially if this is what you want, do it.
– RualStorge
Jul 9 '14 at 19:37
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
1
down vote
up vote
1
down vote
It's time to move on.
Backing out of offers typically jeopardize future opportunities with that company (and if you went through a recruiter could remove a valuable resource) Which is sometimes necessary, for me it sounds more like you're a likable person (which is good) and people hate to see you go.
This is business, by all means make friends with coworkers, but don't ever let them stall your career. If they are a true friends while they will be sad to see you go, they'll also be happy for you.
As far as your father goes, I've watched my mother watch two of her three kids move away from homes for their careers. It's hard to watch someone you raised go out into the world on their own, I imagine with your disability they feel even more so worried something will happen to their little boy. Fact is, you're an adult, you have to decide do you want to spend your entire life near home with only those opportunities available? or do you go out into the world for better opportunities?
200 miles is not that bad. It's only hour to hour(s) of travel. If your father needs you near you just hop in a taxi and a chunk of change later you're there. By all means show you appreciate your concern, but you have to live your own life.
answered Jul 9 '14 at 19:32
RualStorge
9,5372231
It's time to move on.
Backing out of offers typically jeopardize future opportunities with that company (and if you went through a recruiter could remove a valuable resource) Which is sometimes necessary, for me it sounds more like you're a likable person (which is good) and people hate to see you go.
This is business, by all means make friends with coworkers, but don't ever let them stall your career. If they are a true friends while they will be sad to see you go, they'll also be happy for you.
As far as your father goes, I've watched my mother watch two of her three kids move away from homes for their careers. It's hard to watch someone you raised go out into the world on their own, I imagine with your disability they feel even more so worried something will happen to their little boy. Fact is, you're an adult, you have to decide do you want to spend your entire life near home with only those opportunities available? or do you go out into the world for better opportunities?
200 miles is not that bad. It's only hour to hour(s) of travel. If your father needs you near you just hop in a taxi and a chunk of change later you're there. By all means show you appreciate your concern, but you have to live your own life.
answered Jul 9 '14 at 19:32
RualStorge
9,5372231
answered Jul 9 '14 at 19:32
RualStorge
9,5372231
answered Jul 9 '14 at 19:32
RualStorge
9,5372231
answered Jul 9 '14 at 19:32
RualStorge
9,5372231
9,5372231
You literally just outline how I explained it to my dad thanks. It can...be tough but as everyone has said I'm my own person and eventually you have to grow up and I am trying to do that. I always hear and read about HR people saying you have to look at where you going to be in 10 years and that's what I am doing.
– AWBrown
Jul 9 '14 at 19:35
understood, sometimes it helps to hear it from the outside. Essentially if this is what you want, do it.
– RualStorge
Jul 9 '14 at 19:37
suggest improvements |Â
You literally just outline how I explained it to my dad thanks. It can...be tough but as everyone has said I'm my own person and eventually you have to grow up and I am trying to do that. I always hear and read about HR people saying you have to look at where you going to be in 10 years and that's what I am doing.
– AWBrown
Jul 9 '14 at 19:35
understood, sometimes it helps to hear it from the outside. Essentially if this is what you want, do it.
– RualStorge
Jul 9 '14 at 19:37
You literally just outline how I explained it to my dad thanks. It can...be tough but as everyone has said I'm my own person and eventually you have to grow up and I am trying to do that. I always hear and read about HR people saying you have to look at where you going to be in 10 years and that's what I am doing.
– AWBrown
Jul 9 '14 at 19:35
You literally just outline how I explained it to my dad thanks. It can...be tough but as everyone has said I'm my own person and eventually you have to grow up and I am trying to do that. I always hear and read about HR people saying you have to look at where you going to be in 10 years and that's what I am doing.
– AWBrown
Jul 9 '14 at 19:35
understood, sometimes it helps to hear it from the outside. Essentially if this is what you want, do it.
– RualStorge
Jul 9 '14 at 19:37
understood, sometimes it helps to hear it from the outside. Essentially if this is what you want, do it.
– RualStorge
Jul 9 '14 at 19:37
suggest improvements |Â
4
First, you are an adult now, what your father wants you to do is now irrelevant; it is your life and your future. Do you want the chaallenge of this job or not? Don't let him manipulate you into messing up your career for his convenience. If he gets sick and you have a family emergency, then come home for the emergency. You might even talk to your new boss about setting up a way to telecommute if you have to go home for an extended length of time since he already has health issues. I lived far away from my parents and did what I needed to do when they got ill and even when they died.
– HLGEM
Jul 9 '14 at 15:17
Your desire to be close to your family is one thing but their concerns is better left up to you to decide. As pointed out. You are an adult. If you want to be close to your father near the end of his life, thats fine, make the decision. Just don't allow his concerns like "not doing your homework" make the decision for you. But there wil always be a decision like this, you will have to decide what you want to do on your own for your own reasons.
– Ramhound
Jul 9 '14 at 15:23
And you could end up out of a job over this or never again in consideration for a better job at that employer since it is your current employer. It is much riskier to make your current employer mad at you tahn some company you won't ever try to work for again. .
– HLGEM
Jul 9 '14 at 20:48
How will you attend the annual "Motherboy" contest if you move away?
– TheMathemagician
Jul 11 '14 at 14:47