How to approach negociation and confidentiality in a flat hierarchy company? [on hold]

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I've been working over 1 year in a flat hierarchy company as a web developer. The company is full of very decent people, the salary is decent, and the work is not to be complained about.

I always felt somewhat insecure the first few months upon starting a new job, getting used to my colleagues reaction and coming over my insecurity to perform well. I have high anxiety levels in general. But here, the feeling persists.

I tend to avoid situations that could possibly raise conflict or be detrimental to a colleague. This seem to be a big problem in this company since flat company requires so much negotiation that I feel like struggling.

I took the decision to quit, but I take it as a personal failure. I understand there is several things I found uncomfortable :

• Negotiating with a group in general, for example with salary and task assignation. I've constantly sacrificed myself because of my fear to be egoistic toward the group, I'm also unwilling to engage a debate over these issues.


• Lack of information partition and confidentiality. For example personal views that could be negative toward a colleague or other personal issues have nobody to be discussed with in particular. It should probably be discussed publicly in meeting which I refuse myself to

How could I have helped myself in these situations ?

quitting hierarchy

share|improve this question

edited 9 mins ago

asked 10 hours ago

Arthur Havlicek

48129

put on hold as too broad by gnat, paparazzo, Dukeling, Mister Positive, jcmack 7 hours ago

Please edit the question to limit it to a specific problem with enough detail to identify an adequate answer. Avoid asking multiple distinct questions at once. See the How to Ask page for help clarifying this question. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.

• 
  
  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  "I am constantly questioning myself about being allowed to do things like taking a day off, arriving late, if it's ok to do extra hours to get paid more," - Why do you question yourself about those things? Why do you think is negative or makes you wonder about being allowed to arrive late, or take a day off... seems to me that perhaps you are over-thinking this, and making mole-hills of the situation. If it was a decent place there was no reason to quit... unless you somehow wanted to self-sabotage yourself... seems that the answer to this lies within yourself...
  – DarkCygnus
  10 hours ago
  
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  @DarkCygnus Well usually in a hierarchy you have someone up you to ask these questions and get a clear yes/no about the situation. In a flat hierarchy, things that should be simple - like negociating salary - require to obtain a group decision. Another example, when I asked if I could remote work I was given a "maybe, but ask others" answer and I had to deal with it. I took the right because being off my colleagues felt good that day, but felt so-so about it. There are plenty of things like this where we don't have an explicit policy and nobody else than me seem to want an explicit policy.
  – Arthur Havlicek
  10 hours ago
  
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  1
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  @ArthurHavlicek For things like leave, it's less about getting permission and more about making sure (a) people who might look for you know where you are and (b) productivity isn't affected. Technical discussions are also not about getting permission, they're about getting some input to help you make the best decision yourself (roughly).
  – Dukeling
  9 hours ago
  
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  2
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  If you couldn't adapt in a year of trying, I think it's fair to conclude that this type of company wasn't for you.
  – Joe Strazzere
  8 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  For a flat hierarchy to thrive, you have to trust that people will generally do the right thing and disagree openly. You have to be very mindful about hiring the right people to fit this particular culture. I'm with Joe. You were probably in the wrong work culture for you.
  – jcmack
  7 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  

 | 
show 1 more comment

up vote
0
down vote

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I've been working over 1 year in a flat hierarchy company as a web developer. The company is full of very decent people, the salary is decent, and the work is not to be complained about.

I always felt somewhat insecure the first few months upon starting a new job, getting used to my colleagues reaction and coming over my insecurity to perform well. I have high anxiety levels in general. But here, the feeling persists.

I tend to avoid situations that could possibly raise conflict or be detrimental to a colleague. This seem to be a big problem in this company since flat company requires so much negotiation that I feel like struggling.

I took the decision to quit, but I take it as a personal failure. I understand there is several things I found uncomfortable :

• Negotiating with a group in general, for example with salary and task assignation. I've constantly sacrificed myself because of my fear to be egoistic toward the group, I'm also unwilling to engage a debate over these issues.


• Lack of information partition and confidentiality. For example personal views that could be negative toward a colleague or other personal issues have nobody to be discussed with in particular. It should probably be discussed publicly in meeting which I refuse myself to

How could I have helped myself in these situations ?

quitting hierarchy

share|improve this question

edited 9 mins ago

asked 10 hours ago

Arthur Havlicek

48129

put on hold as too broad by gnat, paparazzo, Dukeling, Mister Positive, jcmack 7 hours ago

Please edit the question to limit it to a specific problem with enough detail to identify an adequate answer. Avoid asking multiple distinct questions at once. See the How to Ask page for help clarifying this question. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.

• 
  
  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  "I am constantly questioning myself about being allowed to do things like taking a day off, arriving late, if it's ok to do extra hours to get paid more," - Why do you question yourself about those things? Why do you think is negative or makes you wonder about being allowed to arrive late, or take a day off... seems to me that perhaps you are over-thinking this, and making mole-hills of the situation. If it was a decent place there was no reason to quit... unless you somehow wanted to self-sabotage yourself... seems that the answer to this lies within yourself...
  – DarkCygnus
  10 hours ago
  
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  @DarkCygnus Well usually in a hierarchy you have someone up you to ask these questions and get a clear yes/no about the situation. In a flat hierarchy, things that should be simple - like negociating salary - require to obtain a group decision. Another example, when I asked if I could remote work I was given a "maybe, but ask others" answer and I had to deal with it. I took the right because being off my colleagues felt good that day, but felt so-so about it. There are plenty of things like this where we don't have an explicit policy and nobody else than me seem to want an explicit policy.
  – Arthur Havlicek
  10 hours ago
  
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  1
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  @ArthurHavlicek For things like leave, it's less about getting permission and more about making sure (a) people who might look for you know where you are and (b) productivity isn't affected. Technical discussions are also not about getting permission, they're about getting some input to help you make the best decision yourself (roughly).
  – Dukeling
  9 hours ago
  
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  2
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  If you couldn't adapt in a year of trying, I think it's fair to conclude that this type of company wasn't for you.
  – Joe Strazzere
  8 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  For a flat hierarchy to thrive, you have to trust that people will generally do the right thing and disagree openly. You have to be very mindful about hiring the right people to fit this particular culture. I'm with Joe. You were probably in the wrong work culture for you.
  – jcmack
  7 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  

 | 
show 1 more comment

up vote
0
down vote

favorite

up vote
0
down vote

favorite

I've been working over 1 year in a flat hierarchy company as a web developer. The company is full of very decent people, the salary is decent, and the work is not to be complained about.

I always felt somewhat insecure the first few months upon starting a new job, getting used to my colleagues reaction and coming over my insecurity to perform well. I have high anxiety levels in general. But here, the feeling persists.

I tend to avoid situations that could possibly raise conflict or be detrimental to a colleague. This seem to be a big problem in this company since flat company requires so much negotiation that I feel like struggling.

I took the decision to quit, but I take it as a personal failure. I understand there is several things I found uncomfortable :

• Negotiating with a group in general, for example with salary and task assignation. I've constantly sacrificed myself because of my fear to be egoistic toward the group, I'm also unwilling to engage a debate over these issues.


• Lack of information partition and confidentiality. For example personal views that could be negative toward a colleague or other personal issues have nobody to be discussed with in particular. It should probably be discussed publicly in meeting which I refuse myself to

How could I have helped myself in these situations ?

quitting hierarchy

share|improve this question

edited 9 mins ago

asked 10 hours ago

Arthur Havlicek

48129

I've been working over 1 year in a flat hierarchy company as a web developer. The company is full of very decent people, the salary is decent, and the work is not to be complained about.

I always felt somewhat insecure the first few months upon starting a new job, getting used to my colleagues reaction and coming over my insecurity to perform well. I have high anxiety levels in general. But here, the feeling persists.

I tend to avoid situations that could possibly raise conflict or be detrimental to a colleague. This seem to be a big problem in this company since flat company requires so much negotiation that I feel like struggling.

I took the decision to quit, but I take it as a personal failure. I understand there is several things I found uncomfortable :

• Negotiating with a group in general, for example with salary and task assignation. I've constantly sacrificed myself because of my fear to be egoistic toward the group, I'm also unwilling to engage a debate over these issues.


• Lack of information partition and confidentiality. For example personal views that could be negative toward a colleague or other personal issues have nobody to be discussed with in particular. It should probably be discussed publicly in meeting which I refuse myself to

How could I have helped myself in these situations ?

quitting hierarchy

quitting hierarchy

share|improve this question

edited 9 mins ago

asked 10 hours ago

Arthur Havlicek

48129

share|improve this question

edited 9 mins ago

asked 10 hours ago

Arthur Havlicek

48129

share|improve this question

share|improve this question

edited 9 mins ago

edited 9 mins ago

edited 9 mins ago

asked 10 hours ago

Arthur Havlicek

48129

asked 10 hours ago

Arthur Havlicek

48129

asked 10 hours ago

Arthur Havlicek

48129

48129

put on hold as too broad by gnat, paparazzo, Dukeling, Mister Positive, jcmack 7 hours ago

Please edit the question to limit it to a specific problem with enough detail to identify an adequate answer. Avoid asking multiple distinct questions at once. See the How to Ask page for help clarifying this question. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.

put on hold as too broad by gnat, paparazzo, Dukeling, Mister Positive, jcmack 7 hours ago

Please edit the question to limit it to a specific problem with enough detail to identify an adequate answer. Avoid asking multiple distinct questions at once. See the How to Ask page for help clarifying this question. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.

• 
  
  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  "I am constantly questioning myself about being allowed to do things like taking a day off, arriving late, if it's ok to do extra hours to get paid more," - Why do you question yourself about those things? Why do you think is negative or makes you wonder about being allowed to arrive late, or take a day off... seems to me that perhaps you are over-thinking this, and making mole-hills of the situation. If it was a decent place there was no reason to quit... unless you somehow wanted to self-sabotage yourself... seems that the answer to this lies within yourself...
  – DarkCygnus
  10 hours ago
  
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  @DarkCygnus Well usually in a hierarchy you have someone up you to ask these questions and get a clear yes/no about the situation. In a flat hierarchy, things that should be simple - like negociating salary - require to obtain a group decision. Another example, when I asked if I could remote work I was given a "maybe, but ask others" answer and I had to deal with it. I took the right because being off my colleagues felt good that day, but felt so-so about it. There are plenty of things like this where we don't have an explicit policy and nobody else than me seem to want an explicit policy.
  – Arthur Havlicek
  10 hours ago
  
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  1
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  @ArthurHavlicek For things like leave, it's less about getting permission and more about making sure (a) people who might look for you know where you are and (b) productivity isn't affected. Technical discussions are also not about getting permission, they're about getting some input to help you make the best decision yourself (roughly).
  – Dukeling
  9 hours ago
  
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  2
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  If you couldn't adapt in a year of trying, I think it's fair to conclude that this type of company wasn't for you.
  – Joe Strazzere
  8 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  For a flat hierarchy to thrive, you have to trust that people will generally do the right thing and disagree openly. You have to be very mindful about hiring the right people to fit this particular culture. I'm with Joe. You were probably in the wrong work culture for you.
  – jcmack
  7 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  

 | 
show 1 more comment

• 
  
  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  "I am constantly questioning myself about being allowed to do things like taking a day off, arriving late, if it's ok to do extra hours to get paid more," - Why do you question yourself about those things? Why do you think is negative or makes you wonder about being allowed to arrive late, or take a day off... seems to me that perhaps you are over-thinking this, and making mole-hills of the situation. If it was a decent place there was no reason to quit... unless you somehow wanted to self-sabotage yourself... seems that the answer to this lies within yourself...
  – DarkCygnus
  10 hours ago
  
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  @DarkCygnus Well usually in a hierarchy you have someone up you to ask these questions and get a clear yes/no about the situation. In a flat hierarchy, things that should be simple - like negociating salary - require to obtain a group decision. Another example, when I asked if I could remote work I was given a "maybe, but ask others" answer and I had to deal with it. I took the right because being off my colleagues felt good that day, but felt so-so about it. There are plenty of things like this where we don't have an explicit policy and nobody else than me seem to want an explicit policy.
  – Arthur Havlicek
  10 hours ago
  
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  1
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  @ArthurHavlicek For things like leave, it's less about getting permission and more about making sure (a) people who might look for you know where you are and (b) productivity isn't affected. Technical discussions are also not about getting permission, they're about getting some input to help you make the best decision yourself (roughly).
  – Dukeling
  9 hours ago
  
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  2
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  If you couldn't adapt in a year of trying, I think it's fair to conclude that this type of company wasn't for you.
  – Joe Strazzere
  8 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  For a flat hierarchy to thrive, you have to trust that people will generally do the right thing and disagree openly. You have to be very mindful about hiring the right people to fit this particular culture. I'm with Joe. You were probably in the wrong work culture for you.
  – jcmack
  7 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  

"I am constantly questioning myself about being allowed to do things like taking a day off, arriving late, if it's ok to do extra hours to get paid more," - Why do you question yourself about those things? Why do you think is negative or makes you wonder about being allowed to arrive late, or take a day off... seems to me that perhaps you are over-thinking this, and making mole-hills of the situation. If it was a decent place there was no reason to quit... unless you somehow wanted to self-sabotage yourself... seems that the answer to this lies within yourself...
– DarkCygnus
10 hours ago

"I am constantly questioning myself about being allowed to do things like taking a day off, arriving late, if it's ok to do extra hours to get paid more," - Why do you question yourself about those things? Why do you think is negative or makes you wonder about being allowed to arrive late, or take a day off... seems to me that perhaps you are over-thinking this, and making mole-hills of the situation. If it was a decent place there was no reason to quit... unless you somehow wanted to self-sabotage yourself... seems that the answer to this lies within yourself...
– DarkCygnus
10 hours ago

@DarkCygnus Well usually in a hierarchy you have someone up you to ask these questions and get a clear yes/no about the situation. In a flat hierarchy, things that should be simple - like negociating salary - require to obtain a group decision. Another example, when I asked if I could remote work I was given a "maybe, but ask others" answer and I had to deal with it. I took the right because being off my colleagues felt good that day, but felt so-so about it. There are plenty of things like this where we don't have an explicit policy and nobody else than me seem to want an explicit policy.
– Arthur Havlicek
10 hours ago

@DarkCygnus Well usually in a hierarchy you have someone up you to ask these questions and get a clear yes/no about the situation. In a flat hierarchy, things that should be simple - like negociating salary - require to obtain a group decision. Another example, when I asked if I could remote work I was given a "maybe, but ask others" answer and I had to deal with it. I took the right because being off my colleagues felt good that day, but felt so-so about it. There are plenty of things like this where we don't have an explicit policy and nobody else than me seem to want an explicit policy.
– Arthur Havlicek
10 hours ago

1

1

@ArthurHavlicek For things like leave, it's less about getting permission and more about making sure (a) people who might look for you know where you are and (b) productivity isn't affected. Technical discussions are also not about getting permission, they're about getting some input to help you make the best decision yourself (roughly).
– Dukeling
9 hours ago

@ArthurHavlicek For things like leave, it's less about getting permission and more about making sure (a) people who might look for you know where you are and (b) productivity isn't affected. Technical discussions are also not about getting permission, they're about getting some input to help you make the best decision yourself (roughly).
– Dukeling
9 hours ago

2

2

If you couldn't adapt in a year of trying, I think it's fair to conclude that this type of company wasn't for you.
– Joe Strazzere
8 hours ago

If you couldn't adapt in a year of trying, I think it's fair to conclude that this type of company wasn't for you.
– Joe Strazzere
8 hours ago

For a flat hierarchy to thrive, you have to trust that people will generally do the right thing and disagree openly. You have to be very mindful about hiring the right people to fit this particular culture. I'm with Joe. You were probably in the wrong work culture for you.
– jcmack
7 hours ago

For a flat hierarchy to thrive, you have to trust that people will generally do the right thing and disagree openly. You have to be very mindful about hiring the right people to fit this particular culture. I'm with Joe. You were probably in the wrong work culture for you.
– jcmack
7 hours ago

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show 1 more comment

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