What is a polite way to avoid endorsing a letter/email submitted to you by a subordinate?
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When your subordinate submits a letter or an email to you, seeking your comments or your endorsement (in a letter of reference, for example), how can you politely decline to do so?
professionalism management references
migrated from english.stackexchange.com Dec 3 '14 at 6:55
This question came from our site for linguists, etymologists, and serious English language enthusiasts.
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When your subordinate submits a letter or an email to you, seeking your comments or your endorsement (in a letter of reference, for example), how can you politely decline to do so?
professionalism management references
migrated from english.stackexchange.com Dec 3 '14 at 6:55
This question came from our site for linguists, etymologists, and serious English language enthusiasts.
2
Why do you want to decline? Because you disagree with what is written? Because you agree, but don't want to do a favour for this person? Because you don't do endorsements on principle? What sentiment are you seeking to express politely? State it plainly and others can help you word it politely. But we can't make up reasons for you or know your mind.
– Kate Gregory
May 20 '15 at 12:17
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up vote
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up vote
1
down vote
favorite
When your subordinate submits a letter or an email to you, seeking your comments or your endorsement (in a letter of reference, for example), how can you politely decline to do so?
professionalism management references
When your subordinate submits a letter or an email to you, seeking your comments or your endorsement (in a letter of reference, for example), how can you politely decline to do so?
professionalism management references
edited Apr 30 '15 at 1:18
Roger
7,17132644
7,17132644
asked Dec 3 '14 at 0:50
rayhung2002
migrated from english.stackexchange.com Dec 3 '14 at 6:55
This question came from our site for linguists, etymologists, and serious English language enthusiasts.
migrated from english.stackexchange.com Dec 3 '14 at 6:55
This question came from our site for linguists, etymologists, and serious English language enthusiasts.
2
Why do you want to decline? Because you disagree with what is written? Because you agree, but don't want to do a favour for this person? Because you don't do endorsements on principle? What sentiment are you seeking to express politely? State it plainly and others can help you word it politely. But we can't make up reasons for you or know your mind.
– Kate Gregory
May 20 '15 at 12:17
suggest improvements |Â
2
Why do you want to decline? Because you disagree with what is written? Because you agree, but don't want to do a favour for this person? Because you don't do endorsements on principle? What sentiment are you seeking to express politely? State it plainly and others can help you word it politely. But we can't make up reasons for you or know your mind.
– Kate Gregory
May 20 '15 at 12:17
2
2
Why do you want to decline? Because you disagree with what is written? Because you agree, but don't want to do a favour for this person? Because you don't do endorsements on principle? What sentiment are you seeking to express politely? State it plainly and others can help you word it politely. But we can't make up reasons for you or know your mind.
– Kate Gregory
May 20 '15 at 12:17
Why do you want to decline? Because you disagree with what is written? Because you agree, but don't want to do a favour for this person? Because you don't do endorsements on principle? What sentiment are you seeking to express politely? State it plainly and others can help you word it politely. But we can't make up reasons for you or know your mind.
– Kate Gregory
May 20 '15 at 12:17
suggest improvements |Â
3 Answers
3
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oldest
votes
up vote
1
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In some workplaces, you can use HR as a shield, but I wouldn't recommend this if you give references to others. But it is an option, especially if you're never comfortable giving references. If the appeal to HR policy isn't an option, but you never give references, you can simply say, "Thank you for asking me, but for personal reasons, I never give references." If possible, I would direct them to someone else in the organisation who may be willing to.
However, if your reluctance is in relation to a specific reference request, the answer depends on why you're not willing to act as a reference.
If you aren't their direct supervisor, or they have only recently begun working with you, perhaps you can direct them to a more appropriate reference. "Thank you for asking me, but X would be a better referee, as they are more familar with your skill set/worked with you longer."
If it's because there are numerous issues with the subordinate's work or professional behavior, that's complicated by whether or not that's been addressed with them before. If this is the first time they're hearing they've been a poor employee, they are more likely to be surprised not to recieve a reference.
For an employee who has had issues addressed directly with them, the polite answer probably runs along the line, "I can confirm you worked for our organisation between Sept 2012 and May 2015, but providing a full reference would require me to disclose your absenteeism, which will not make a good impression to a prospective employer." Followed by, if necessary, "I am not going to lie." Directness isn't inherently impolite, just sometimes uncomfortable.
For an employee who doesn't know they have issues, addressing that is probably the first step. "I'm glad you brought this up. I've been meaning to discuss your time-keeping with you. [Discuss.] As it stands, I am not comfortable giving you a reference, as I would be required to disclose this issue, which wouldn't be favorable to you."
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
0
down vote
You can say that you can use HR policy as a shield if HR states that you are not to comment on employees to outsiders and leave it at that, you can say that you don't endorse anyone, you can say that you have short-term memories issues and you may have burned a few people as a result of these short-term memory issues.
I once lost a job offer when the reference checker called one of my references, who managed to confuse me with someone else and who claimed that I couldn't work without tight supervision. Obviously, I would have preferred that he said "No! No way!" to my request that he act as a reference :)
Getting confused with someone else would be awful. I try to stay in touch with my references, but it's been too long for some.
– user8365
Dec 3 '14 at 14:08
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
-4
down vote
I don't feel like wring the entire thing, but I am going to give you some pointers:
If you're not willing to endorse someone, the easiest way to avoid doing so would be to make up some kind of polite lie. That is just me assuming that you're not willing to tell the person you're refusing to endorse the real reason though.
a) Tell them you're unable to do so because you'd rather wish to endorse another co-worker with whom you've had a long (er) lasting relationship.
b) Tell them you've had bad experiences with endorsing people in general and hardly ever do it nowadays.
c) Tell them that while you're generally willing to endorse him but you require further evaluation of his potential. You're just not the type of person to hand these kind of things out carelessly.
d) Point out to him that you've reached your quarterly cap on endorsements/letters of references and pray that he'll leave you alone from now on.
5
Absolutely not, lying will come back to haunt you, whether it was with good intentions or not. If you feel you cannot endorse someone for a reason, let them know why. Maybe they don't actually know it's a problem, and they can turn it around. Lie, and when you do give an endorsement to the next person, you'll not only be found out, you'll still need to explain why you couldn't do the first one. And if you can lie about this, it's easier to lie about the next thing, who knows where you'll end up (political office most likely, and who in their right mind would want to be there)...
– The Wandering Dev Manager
Dec 3 '14 at 13:23
suggest improvements |Â
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3 Answers
3
active
oldest
votes
3 Answers
3
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
up vote
1
down vote
In some workplaces, you can use HR as a shield, but I wouldn't recommend this if you give references to others. But it is an option, especially if you're never comfortable giving references. If the appeal to HR policy isn't an option, but you never give references, you can simply say, "Thank you for asking me, but for personal reasons, I never give references." If possible, I would direct them to someone else in the organisation who may be willing to.
However, if your reluctance is in relation to a specific reference request, the answer depends on why you're not willing to act as a reference.
If you aren't their direct supervisor, or they have only recently begun working with you, perhaps you can direct them to a more appropriate reference. "Thank you for asking me, but X would be a better referee, as they are more familar with your skill set/worked with you longer."
If it's because there are numerous issues with the subordinate's work or professional behavior, that's complicated by whether or not that's been addressed with them before. If this is the first time they're hearing they've been a poor employee, they are more likely to be surprised not to recieve a reference.
For an employee who has had issues addressed directly with them, the polite answer probably runs along the line, "I can confirm you worked for our organisation between Sept 2012 and May 2015, but providing a full reference would require me to disclose your absenteeism, which will not make a good impression to a prospective employer." Followed by, if necessary, "I am not going to lie." Directness isn't inherently impolite, just sometimes uncomfortable.
For an employee who doesn't know they have issues, addressing that is probably the first step. "I'm glad you brought this up. I've been meaning to discuss your time-keeping with you. [Discuss.] As it stands, I am not comfortable giving you a reference, as I would be required to disclose this issue, which wouldn't be favorable to you."
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
1
down vote
In some workplaces, you can use HR as a shield, but I wouldn't recommend this if you give references to others. But it is an option, especially if you're never comfortable giving references. If the appeal to HR policy isn't an option, but you never give references, you can simply say, "Thank you for asking me, but for personal reasons, I never give references." If possible, I would direct them to someone else in the organisation who may be willing to.
However, if your reluctance is in relation to a specific reference request, the answer depends on why you're not willing to act as a reference.
If you aren't their direct supervisor, or they have only recently begun working with you, perhaps you can direct them to a more appropriate reference. "Thank you for asking me, but X would be a better referee, as they are more familar with your skill set/worked with you longer."
If it's because there are numerous issues with the subordinate's work or professional behavior, that's complicated by whether or not that's been addressed with them before. If this is the first time they're hearing they've been a poor employee, they are more likely to be surprised not to recieve a reference.
For an employee who has had issues addressed directly with them, the polite answer probably runs along the line, "I can confirm you worked for our organisation between Sept 2012 and May 2015, but providing a full reference would require me to disclose your absenteeism, which will not make a good impression to a prospective employer." Followed by, if necessary, "I am not going to lie." Directness isn't inherently impolite, just sometimes uncomfortable.
For an employee who doesn't know they have issues, addressing that is probably the first step. "I'm glad you brought this up. I've been meaning to discuss your time-keeping with you. [Discuss.] As it stands, I am not comfortable giving you a reference, as I would be required to disclose this issue, which wouldn't be favorable to you."
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
1
down vote
up vote
1
down vote
In some workplaces, you can use HR as a shield, but I wouldn't recommend this if you give references to others. But it is an option, especially if you're never comfortable giving references. If the appeal to HR policy isn't an option, but you never give references, you can simply say, "Thank you for asking me, but for personal reasons, I never give references." If possible, I would direct them to someone else in the organisation who may be willing to.
However, if your reluctance is in relation to a specific reference request, the answer depends on why you're not willing to act as a reference.
If you aren't their direct supervisor, or they have only recently begun working with you, perhaps you can direct them to a more appropriate reference. "Thank you for asking me, but X would be a better referee, as they are more familar with your skill set/worked with you longer."
If it's because there are numerous issues with the subordinate's work or professional behavior, that's complicated by whether or not that's been addressed with them before. If this is the first time they're hearing they've been a poor employee, they are more likely to be surprised not to recieve a reference.
For an employee who has had issues addressed directly with them, the polite answer probably runs along the line, "I can confirm you worked for our organisation between Sept 2012 and May 2015, but providing a full reference would require me to disclose your absenteeism, which will not make a good impression to a prospective employer." Followed by, if necessary, "I am not going to lie." Directness isn't inherently impolite, just sometimes uncomfortable.
For an employee who doesn't know they have issues, addressing that is probably the first step. "I'm glad you brought this up. I've been meaning to discuss your time-keeping with you. [Discuss.] As it stands, I am not comfortable giving you a reference, as I would be required to disclose this issue, which wouldn't be favorable to you."
In some workplaces, you can use HR as a shield, but I wouldn't recommend this if you give references to others. But it is an option, especially if you're never comfortable giving references. If the appeal to HR policy isn't an option, but you never give references, you can simply say, "Thank you for asking me, but for personal reasons, I never give references." If possible, I would direct them to someone else in the organisation who may be willing to.
However, if your reluctance is in relation to a specific reference request, the answer depends on why you're not willing to act as a reference.
If you aren't their direct supervisor, or they have only recently begun working with you, perhaps you can direct them to a more appropriate reference. "Thank you for asking me, but X would be a better referee, as they are more familar with your skill set/worked with you longer."
If it's because there are numerous issues with the subordinate's work or professional behavior, that's complicated by whether or not that's been addressed with them before. If this is the first time they're hearing they've been a poor employee, they are more likely to be surprised not to recieve a reference.
For an employee who has had issues addressed directly with them, the polite answer probably runs along the line, "I can confirm you worked for our organisation between Sept 2012 and May 2015, but providing a full reference would require me to disclose your absenteeism, which will not make a good impression to a prospective employer." Followed by, if necessary, "I am not going to lie." Directness isn't inherently impolite, just sometimes uncomfortable.
For an employee who doesn't know they have issues, addressing that is probably the first step. "I'm glad you brought this up. I've been meaning to discuss your time-keeping with you. [Discuss.] As it stands, I am not comfortable giving you a reference, as I would be required to disclose this issue, which wouldn't be favorable to you."
answered May 20 '15 at 11:25


Saoirse
95147
95147
suggest improvements |Â
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
0
down vote
You can say that you can use HR policy as a shield if HR states that you are not to comment on employees to outsiders and leave it at that, you can say that you don't endorse anyone, you can say that you have short-term memories issues and you may have burned a few people as a result of these short-term memory issues.
I once lost a job offer when the reference checker called one of my references, who managed to confuse me with someone else and who claimed that I couldn't work without tight supervision. Obviously, I would have preferred that he said "No! No way!" to my request that he act as a reference :)
Getting confused with someone else would be awful. I try to stay in touch with my references, but it's been too long for some.
– user8365
Dec 3 '14 at 14:08
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
0
down vote
You can say that you can use HR policy as a shield if HR states that you are not to comment on employees to outsiders and leave it at that, you can say that you don't endorse anyone, you can say that you have short-term memories issues and you may have burned a few people as a result of these short-term memory issues.
I once lost a job offer when the reference checker called one of my references, who managed to confuse me with someone else and who claimed that I couldn't work without tight supervision. Obviously, I would have preferred that he said "No! No way!" to my request that he act as a reference :)
Getting confused with someone else would be awful. I try to stay in touch with my references, but it's been too long for some.
– user8365
Dec 3 '14 at 14:08
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
0
down vote
up vote
0
down vote
You can say that you can use HR policy as a shield if HR states that you are not to comment on employees to outsiders and leave it at that, you can say that you don't endorse anyone, you can say that you have short-term memories issues and you may have burned a few people as a result of these short-term memory issues.
I once lost a job offer when the reference checker called one of my references, who managed to confuse me with someone else and who claimed that I couldn't work without tight supervision. Obviously, I would have preferred that he said "No! No way!" to my request that he act as a reference :)
You can say that you can use HR policy as a shield if HR states that you are not to comment on employees to outsiders and leave it at that, you can say that you don't endorse anyone, you can say that you have short-term memories issues and you may have burned a few people as a result of these short-term memory issues.
I once lost a job offer when the reference checker called one of my references, who managed to confuse me with someone else and who claimed that I couldn't work without tight supervision. Obviously, I would have preferred that he said "No! No way!" to my request that he act as a reference :)
answered Dec 3 '14 at 10:30
Vietnhi Phuvan
68.9k7118254
68.9k7118254
Getting confused with someone else would be awful. I try to stay in touch with my references, but it's been too long for some.
– user8365
Dec 3 '14 at 14:08
suggest improvements |Â
Getting confused with someone else would be awful. I try to stay in touch with my references, but it's been too long for some.
– user8365
Dec 3 '14 at 14:08
Getting confused with someone else would be awful. I try to stay in touch with my references, but it's been too long for some.
– user8365
Dec 3 '14 at 14:08
Getting confused with someone else would be awful. I try to stay in touch with my references, but it's been too long for some.
– user8365
Dec 3 '14 at 14:08
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
-4
down vote
I don't feel like wring the entire thing, but I am going to give you some pointers:
If you're not willing to endorse someone, the easiest way to avoid doing so would be to make up some kind of polite lie. That is just me assuming that you're not willing to tell the person you're refusing to endorse the real reason though.
a) Tell them you're unable to do so because you'd rather wish to endorse another co-worker with whom you've had a long (er) lasting relationship.
b) Tell them you've had bad experiences with endorsing people in general and hardly ever do it nowadays.
c) Tell them that while you're generally willing to endorse him but you require further evaluation of his potential. You're just not the type of person to hand these kind of things out carelessly.
d) Point out to him that you've reached your quarterly cap on endorsements/letters of references and pray that he'll leave you alone from now on.
5
Absolutely not, lying will come back to haunt you, whether it was with good intentions or not. If you feel you cannot endorse someone for a reason, let them know why. Maybe they don't actually know it's a problem, and they can turn it around. Lie, and when you do give an endorsement to the next person, you'll not only be found out, you'll still need to explain why you couldn't do the first one. And if you can lie about this, it's easier to lie about the next thing, who knows where you'll end up (political office most likely, and who in their right mind would want to be there)...
– The Wandering Dev Manager
Dec 3 '14 at 13:23
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
-4
down vote
I don't feel like wring the entire thing, but I am going to give you some pointers:
If you're not willing to endorse someone, the easiest way to avoid doing so would be to make up some kind of polite lie. That is just me assuming that you're not willing to tell the person you're refusing to endorse the real reason though.
a) Tell them you're unable to do so because you'd rather wish to endorse another co-worker with whom you've had a long (er) lasting relationship.
b) Tell them you've had bad experiences with endorsing people in general and hardly ever do it nowadays.
c) Tell them that while you're generally willing to endorse him but you require further evaluation of his potential. You're just not the type of person to hand these kind of things out carelessly.
d) Point out to him that you've reached your quarterly cap on endorsements/letters of references and pray that he'll leave you alone from now on.
5
Absolutely not, lying will come back to haunt you, whether it was with good intentions or not. If you feel you cannot endorse someone for a reason, let them know why. Maybe they don't actually know it's a problem, and they can turn it around. Lie, and when you do give an endorsement to the next person, you'll not only be found out, you'll still need to explain why you couldn't do the first one. And if you can lie about this, it's easier to lie about the next thing, who knows where you'll end up (political office most likely, and who in their right mind would want to be there)...
– The Wandering Dev Manager
Dec 3 '14 at 13:23
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
-4
down vote
up vote
-4
down vote
I don't feel like wring the entire thing, but I am going to give you some pointers:
If you're not willing to endorse someone, the easiest way to avoid doing so would be to make up some kind of polite lie. That is just me assuming that you're not willing to tell the person you're refusing to endorse the real reason though.
a) Tell them you're unable to do so because you'd rather wish to endorse another co-worker with whom you've had a long (er) lasting relationship.
b) Tell them you've had bad experiences with endorsing people in general and hardly ever do it nowadays.
c) Tell them that while you're generally willing to endorse him but you require further evaluation of his potential. You're just not the type of person to hand these kind of things out carelessly.
d) Point out to him that you've reached your quarterly cap on endorsements/letters of references and pray that he'll leave you alone from now on.
I don't feel like wring the entire thing, but I am going to give you some pointers:
If you're not willing to endorse someone, the easiest way to avoid doing so would be to make up some kind of polite lie. That is just me assuming that you're not willing to tell the person you're refusing to endorse the real reason though.
a) Tell them you're unable to do so because you'd rather wish to endorse another co-worker with whom you've had a long (er) lasting relationship.
b) Tell them you've had bad experiences with endorsing people in general and hardly ever do it nowadays.
c) Tell them that while you're generally willing to endorse him but you require further evaluation of his potential. You're just not the type of person to hand these kind of things out carelessly.
d) Point out to him that you've reached your quarterly cap on endorsements/letters of references and pray that he'll leave you alone from now on.
answered Dec 3 '14 at 4:11
J L V
5
Absolutely not, lying will come back to haunt you, whether it was with good intentions or not. If you feel you cannot endorse someone for a reason, let them know why. Maybe they don't actually know it's a problem, and they can turn it around. Lie, and when you do give an endorsement to the next person, you'll not only be found out, you'll still need to explain why you couldn't do the first one. And if you can lie about this, it's easier to lie about the next thing, who knows where you'll end up (political office most likely, and who in their right mind would want to be there)...
– The Wandering Dev Manager
Dec 3 '14 at 13:23
suggest improvements |Â
5
Absolutely not, lying will come back to haunt you, whether it was with good intentions or not. If you feel you cannot endorse someone for a reason, let them know why. Maybe they don't actually know it's a problem, and they can turn it around. Lie, and when you do give an endorsement to the next person, you'll not only be found out, you'll still need to explain why you couldn't do the first one. And if you can lie about this, it's easier to lie about the next thing, who knows where you'll end up (political office most likely, and who in their right mind would want to be there)...
– The Wandering Dev Manager
Dec 3 '14 at 13:23
5
5
Absolutely not, lying will come back to haunt you, whether it was with good intentions or not. If you feel you cannot endorse someone for a reason, let them know why. Maybe they don't actually know it's a problem, and they can turn it around. Lie, and when you do give an endorsement to the next person, you'll not only be found out, you'll still need to explain why you couldn't do the first one. And if you can lie about this, it's easier to lie about the next thing, who knows where you'll end up (political office most likely, and who in their right mind would want to be there)...
– The Wandering Dev Manager
Dec 3 '14 at 13:23
Absolutely not, lying will come back to haunt you, whether it was with good intentions or not. If you feel you cannot endorse someone for a reason, let them know why. Maybe they don't actually know it's a problem, and they can turn it around. Lie, and when you do give an endorsement to the next person, you'll not only be found out, you'll still need to explain why you couldn't do the first one. And if you can lie about this, it's easier to lie about the next thing, who knows where you'll end up (political office most likely, and who in their right mind would want to be there)...
– The Wandering Dev Manager
Dec 3 '14 at 13:23
suggest improvements |Â
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2
Why do you want to decline? Because you disagree with what is written? Because you agree, but don't want to do a favour for this person? Because you don't do endorsements on principle? What sentiment are you seeking to express politely? State it plainly and others can help you word it politely. But we can't make up reasons for you or know your mind.
– Kate Gregory
May 20 '15 at 12:17