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Senior Colleague bad-mouthing about project manager [duplicate]
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This question already has an answer here:
Workplace gossip makes me uncomfortable - how do I deal with it?
5 answers
I work in a small team of 5 members where all the other members except me are with the company since the very beginning (around 20 years). I have been here for the last 2 years.
Every once in a while, one senior developer will come to my desk and start bad-mouthing the manager. He does it when manager is not around. I don't want to listen to him but am afraid to say anything to him.
How can I tell him politely that I don't want to listen to it because it is not productive?
professionalism
edited Aug 1 '14 at 17:42
Matt Giltaji
1,62821425
asked Aug 1 '14 at 15:20
bugfixer
263
marked as duplicate by gnat, Jan Doggen, Garrison Neely, Michael Grubey, IDrinkandIKnowThings Aug 4 '14 at 13:44
This question has been asked before and already has an answer. If those answers do not fully address your question, please ask a new question.
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
4
down vote
favorite
This question already has an answer here:
Workplace gossip makes me uncomfortable - how do I deal with it?
5 answers
I work in a small team of 5 members where all the other members except me are with the company since the very beginning (around 20 years). I have been here for the last 2 years.
Every once in a while, one senior developer will come to my desk and start bad-mouthing the manager. He does it when manager is not around. I don't want to listen to him but am afraid to say anything to him.
How can I tell him politely that I don't want to listen to it because it is not productive?
professionalism
edited Aug 1 '14 at 17:42
Matt Giltaji
1,62821425
asked Aug 1 '14 at 15:20
bugfixer
263
marked as duplicate by gnat, Jan Doggen, Garrison Neely, Michael Grubey, IDrinkandIKnowThings Aug 4 '14 at 13:44
This question has been asked before and already has an answer. If those answers do not fully address your question, please ask a new question.
2
Change the subject immediately.
– Kevin
Aug 1 '14 at 15:30
Get an "Optimism Gun"
– Elysian Fields♦
Aug 1 '14 at 16:00
1
Hi bugfixer and welcome to The Workplace! I've edited your question to better fit our format and hopefully get you more answers and upvotes. Please feel free to edit it further if I messed anything up or to improve it further. I hope to see you around! :)
– Matt Giltaji
Aug 1 '14 at 16:22
1
@enderland thanks for the link.I really liked it.
– bugfixer
Aug 1 '14 at 19:31
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
4
down vote
favorite
up vote
4
down vote
favorite
This question already has an answer here:
Workplace gossip makes me uncomfortable - how do I deal with it?
5 answers
I work in a small team of 5 members where all the other members except me are with the company since the very beginning (around 20 years). I have been here for the last 2 years.
Every once in a while, one senior developer will come to my desk and start bad-mouthing the manager. He does it when manager is not around. I don't want to listen to him but am afraid to say anything to him.
How can I tell him politely that I don't want to listen to it because it is not productive?
professionalism
edited Aug 1 '14 at 17:42
Matt Giltaji
1,62821425
asked Aug 1 '14 at 15:20
bugfixer
263
This question already has an answer here:
Workplace gossip makes me uncomfortable - how do I deal with it?
5 answers
I work in a small team of 5 members where all the other members except me are with the company since the very beginning (around 20 years). I have been here for the last 2 years.
Every once in a while, one senior developer will come to my desk and start bad-mouthing the manager. He does it when manager is not around. I don't want to listen to him but am afraid to say anything to him.
How can I tell him politely that I don't want to listen to it because it is not productive?
This question already has an answer here:
Workplace gossip makes me uncomfortable - how do I deal with it?
5 answers
professionalism
edited Aug 1 '14 at 17:42
Matt Giltaji
1,62821425
asked Aug 1 '14 at 15:20
bugfixer
263
edited Aug 1 '14 at 17:42
Matt Giltaji
1,62821425
edited Aug 1 '14 at 17:42
Matt Giltaji
1,62821425
edited Aug 1 '14 at 17:42
Matt Giltaji
1,62821425
1,62821425
asked Aug 1 '14 at 15:20
bugfixer
263
asked Aug 1 '14 at 15:20
bugfixer
263
asked Aug 1 '14 at 15:20
bugfixer
263
263
marked as duplicate by gnat, Jan Doggen, Garrison Neely, Michael Grubey, IDrinkandIKnowThings Aug 4 '14 at 13:44
This question has been asked before and already has an answer. If those answers do not fully address your question, please ask a new question.
marked as duplicate by gnat, Jan Doggen, Garrison Neely, Michael Grubey, IDrinkandIKnowThings Aug 4 '14 at 13:44
This question has been asked before and already has an answer. If those answers do not fully address your question, please ask a new question.
2
Change the subject immediately.
– Kevin
Aug 1 '14 at 15:30
Get an "Optimism Gun"
– Elysian Fields♦
Aug 1 '14 at 16:00
1
Hi bugfixer and welcome to The Workplace! I've edited your question to better fit our format and hopefully get you more answers and upvotes. Please feel free to edit it further if I messed anything up or to improve it further. I hope to see you around! :)
– Matt Giltaji
Aug 1 '14 at 16:22
1
@enderland thanks for the link.I really liked it.
– bugfixer
Aug 1 '14 at 19:31
suggest improvements |Â
2
Change the subject immediately.
– Kevin
Aug 1 '14 at 15:30
Get an "Optimism Gun"
– Elysian Fields♦
Aug 1 '14 at 16:00
1
Hi bugfixer and welcome to The Workplace! I've edited your question to better fit our format and hopefully get you more answers and upvotes. Please feel free to edit it further if I messed anything up or to improve it further. I hope to see you around! :)
– Matt Giltaji
Aug 1 '14 at 16:22
1
@enderland thanks for the link.I really liked it.
– bugfixer
Aug 1 '14 at 19:31
2
2
Change the subject immediately.
– Kevin
Aug 1 '14 at 15:30
Change the subject immediately.
– Kevin
Aug 1 '14 at 15:30
Get an "Optimism Gun"
– Elysian Fields♦
Aug 1 '14 at 16:00
Get an "Optimism Gun"
– Elysian Fields♦
Aug 1 '14 at 16:00
1
1
Hi bugfixer and welcome to The Workplace! I've edited your question to better fit our format and hopefully get you more answers and upvotes. Please feel free to edit it further if I messed anything up or to improve it further. I hope to see you around! :)
– Matt Giltaji
Aug 1 '14 at 16:22
Hi bugfixer and welcome to The Workplace! I've edited your question to better fit our format and hopefully get you more answers and upvotes. Please feel free to edit it further if I messed anything up or to improve it further. I hope to see you around! :)
– Matt Giltaji
Aug 1 '14 at 16:22
1
1
@enderland thanks for the link.I really liked it.
– bugfixer
Aug 1 '14 at 19:31
@enderland thanks for the link.I really liked it.
– bugfixer
Aug 1 '14 at 19:31
suggest improvements |Â
3 Answers
3
active
oldest
votes
up vote
6
down vote
accepted
A good strategy I use when you want to stop gossip is to defend the person being attacked.
For example: "Our boss just saddled me with a new project when I've already got a full plate!"
Response: "Yeah, but I bet the boss trusts you enough to give you this load. He knows your the expert and can finish the project the fastest."
Doing this over and over will make your coworker realize that you aren't the right person to vent to about your boss. Additionally, it will help you and your coworker empathize with the boss, since you are defending the boss' actions in his/her place.
answered Aug 1 '14 at 16:59
Garrison Neely
6,21512735
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
6
down vote
How can I tell him politely that I don't want to listen to it because
it is not productive ?
Next time he comes around and starts, just say something like: "Thanks for sharing your feelings, Bad-Mouthing Senior Colleague, I appreciate that. But I'd rather try and form my own opinions on Bad-Mouthed Project Manager."
Then turn back to your work.
This is polite, yet hints that this is not the sort of gossip you want to hear or participate in.
answered Aug 1 '14 at 16:07
Joe Strazzere
223k106657926
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
0
down vote
I'd change the subject immediately.
"Hey, what are you doing to yourself this weekend? :)"
"You caught me at a bad time. I got a deadline to meet, and my pants are on fire"
"I am sorry, but I've got a call to make :)"
"I am sorry, I need total concentration. I need to decide what I'm having for lunch :)"
"I wish you'd stop talking about him. Because every time you do, I need to go to the restroom five minutes later :)"
"Don't talk to me about him anymore - I am in avoidance maximization and pain minimization mode :)"
Or I could telling him off.
I could choose to listen to what you say about him and go insane, and I could choose to stay sane - sort of :) I am picking option #2 :)
"Yabut, I wish I could say I care, but I can't even fake it that I care :)"
"Don't talk to me about it, I don't want to get depressed :)"
"If you're going to talk to me about him, I want combat pay :)"
"Look, if I sound totally uninterested, that's because I am :)"
"Don't you have a bridge that you need to be jumping off from? :)"
edited Aug 1 '14 at 19:27
Elysian Fields♦
96.9k46292449
answered Aug 1 '14 at 16:48
Vietnhi Phuvan
68.9k7118254
suggest improvements |Â
3 Answers
3
active
oldest
votes
3 Answers
3
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
up vote
6
down vote
accepted
A good strategy I use when you want to stop gossip is to defend the person being attacked.
For example: "Our boss just saddled me with a new project when I've already got a full plate!"
Response: "Yeah, but I bet the boss trusts you enough to give you this load. He knows your the expert and can finish the project the fastest."
Doing this over and over will make your coworker realize that you aren't the right person to vent to about your boss. Additionally, it will help you and your coworker empathize with the boss, since you are defending the boss' actions in his/her place.
answered Aug 1 '14 at 16:59
Garrison Neely
6,21512735
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
6
down vote
accepted
A good strategy I use when you want to stop gossip is to defend the person being attacked.
For example: "Our boss just saddled me with a new project when I've already got a full plate!"
Response: "Yeah, but I bet the boss trusts you enough to give you this load. He knows your the expert and can finish the project the fastest."
Doing this over and over will make your coworker realize that you aren't the right person to vent to about your boss. Additionally, it will help you and your coworker empathize with the boss, since you are defending the boss' actions in his/her place.
answered Aug 1 '14 at 16:59
Garrison Neely
6,21512735
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
6
down vote
accepted
up vote
6
down vote
accepted
A good strategy I use when you want to stop gossip is to defend the person being attacked.
For example: "Our boss just saddled me with a new project when I've already got a full plate!"
Response: "Yeah, but I bet the boss trusts you enough to give you this load. He knows your the expert and can finish the project the fastest."
Doing this over and over will make your coworker realize that you aren't the right person to vent to about your boss. Additionally, it will help you and your coworker empathize with the boss, since you are defending the boss' actions in his/her place.
answered Aug 1 '14 at 16:59
Garrison Neely
6,21512735
A good strategy I use when you want to stop gossip is to defend the person being attacked.
For example: "Our boss just saddled me with a new project when I've already got a full plate!"
Response: "Yeah, but I bet the boss trusts you enough to give you this load. He knows your the expert and can finish the project the fastest."
Doing this over and over will make your coworker realize that you aren't the right person to vent to about your boss. Additionally, it will help you and your coworker empathize with the boss, since you are defending the boss' actions in his/her place.
answered Aug 1 '14 at 16:59
Garrison Neely
6,21512735
answered Aug 1 '14 at 16:59
Garrison Neely
6,21512735
answered Aug 1 '14 at 16:59
Garrison Neely
6,21512735
answered Aug 1 '14 at 16:59
Garrison Neely
6,21512735
6,21512735
suggest improvements |Â
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
6
down vote
How can I tell him politely that I don't want to listen to it because
it is not productive ?
Next time he comes around and starts, just say something like: "Thanks for sharing your feelings, Bad-Mouthing Senior Colleague, I appreciate that. But I'd rather try and form my own opinions on Bad-Mouthed Project Manager."
Then turn back to your work.
This is polite, yet hints that this is not the sort of gossip you want to hear or participate in.
answered Aug 1 '14 at 16:07
Joe Strazzere
223k106657926
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
6
down vote
How can I tell him politely that I don't want to listen to it because
it is not productive ?
Next time he comes around and starts, just say something like: "Thanks for sharing your feelings, Bad-Mouthing Senior Colleague, I appreciate that. But I'd rather try and form my own opinions on Bad-Mouthed Project Manager."
Then turn back to your work.
This is polite, yet hints that this is not the sort of gossip you want to hear or participate in.
answered Aug 1 '14 at 16:07
Joe Strazzere
223k106657926
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
6
down vote
up vote
6
down vote
How can I tell him politely that I don't want to listen to it because
it is not productive ?
Next time he comes around and starts, just say something like: "Thanks for sharing your feelings, Bad-Mouthing Senior Colleague, I appreciate that. But I'd rather try and form my own opinions on Bad-Mouthed Project Manager."
Then turn back to your work.
This is polite, yet hints that this is not the sort of gossip you want to hear or participate in.
answered Aug 1 '14 at 16:07
Joe Strazzere
223k106657926
How can I tell him politely that I don't want to listen to it because
it is not productive ?
Next time he comes around and starts, just say something like: "Thanks for sharing your feelings, Bad-Mouthing Senior Colleague, I appreciate that. But I'd rather try and form my own opinions on Bad-Mouthed Project Manager."
Then turn back to your work.
This is polite, yet hints that this is not the sort of gossip you want to hear or participate in.
answered Aug 1 '14 at 16:07
Joe Strazzere
223k106657926
edited Aug 1 '14 at 18:26
answered Aug 1 '14 at 16:07
Joe Strazzere
223k106657926
answered Aug 1 '14 at 16:07
Joe Strazzere
223k106657926
answered Aug 1 '14 at 16:07
Joe Strazzere
223k106657926
223k106657926
suggest improvements |Â
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
0
down vote
I'd change the subject immediately.
"Hey, what are you doing to yourself this weekend? :)"
"You caught me at a bad time. I got a deadline to meet, and my pants are on fire"
"I am sorry, but I've got a call to make :)"
"I am sorry, I need total concentration. I need to decide what I'm having for lunch :)"
"I wish you'd stop talking about him. Because every time you do, I need to go to the restroom five minutes later :)"
"Don't talk to me about him anymore - I am in avoidance maximization and pain minimization mode :)"
Or I could telling him off.
I could choose to listen to what you say about him and go insane, and I could choose to stay sane - sort of :) I am picking option #2 :)
"Yabut, I wish I could say I care, but I can't even fake it that I care :)"
"Don't talk to me about it, I don't want to get depressed :)"
"If you're going to talk to me about him, I want combat pay :)"
"Look, if I sound totally uninterested, that's because I am :)"
"Don't you have a bridge that you need to be jumping off from? :)"
edited Aug 1 '14 at 19:27
Elysian Fields♦
96.9k46292449
answered Aug 1 '14 at 16:48
Vietnhi Phuvan
68.9k7118254
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
0
down vote
I'd change the subject immediately.
"Hey, what are you doing to yourself this weekend? :)"
"You caught me at a bad time. I got a deadline to meet, and my pants are on fire"
"I am sorry, but I've got a call to make :)"
"I am sorry, I need total concentration. I need to decide what I'm having for lunch :)"
"I wish you'd stop talking about him. Because every time you do, I need to go to the restroom five minutes later :)"
"Don't talk to me about him anymore - I am in avoidance maximization and pain minimization mode :)"
Or I could telling him off.
I could choose to listen to what you say about him and go insane, and I could choose to stay sane - sort of :) I am picking option #2 :)
"Yabut, I wish I could say I care, but I can't even fake it that I care :)"
"Don't talk to me about it, I don't want to get depressed :)"
"If you're going to talk to me about him, I want combat pay :)"
"Look, if I sound totally uninterested, that's because I am :)"
"Don't you have a bridge that you need to be jumping off from? :)"
edited Aug 1 '14 at 19:27
Elysian Fields♦
96.9k46292449
answered Aug 1 '14 at 16:48
Vietnhi Phuvan
68.9k7118254
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
0
down vote
up vote
0
down vote
I'd change the subject immediately.
"Hey, what are you doing to yourself this weekend? :)"
"You caught me at a bad time. I got a deadline to meet, and my pants are on fire"
"I am sorry, but I've got a call to make :)"
"I am sorry, I need total concentration. I need to decide what I'm having for lunch :)"
"I wish you'd stop talking about him. Because every time you do, I need to go to the restroom five minutes later :)"
"Don't talk to me about him anymore - I am in avoidance maximization and pain minimization mode :)"
Or I could telling him off.
I could choose to listen to what you say about him and go insane, and I could choose to stay sane - sort of :) I am picking option #2 :)
"Yabut, I wish I could say I care, but I can't even fake it that I care :)"
"Don't talk to me about it, I don't want to get depressed :)"
"If you're going to talk to me about him, I want combat pay :)"
"Look, if I sound totally uninterested, that's because I am :)"
"Don't you have a bridge that you need to be jumping off from? :)"
edited Aug 1 '14 at 19:27
Elysian Fields♦
96.9k46292449
answered Aug 1 '14 at 16:48
Vietnhi Phuvan
68.9k7118254
I'd change the subject immediately.
"Hey, what are you doing to yourself this weekend? :)"
"You caught me at a bad time. I got a deadline to meet, and my pants are on fire"
"I am sorry, but I've got a call to make :)"
"I am sorry, I need total concentration. I need to decide what I'm having for lunch :)"
"I wish you'd stop talking about him. Because every time you do, I need to go to the restroom five minutes later :)"
"Don't talk to me about him anymore - I am in avoidance maximization and pain minimization mode :)"
Or I could telling him off.
I could choose to listen to what you say about him and go insane, and I could choose to stay sane - sort of :) I am picking option #2 :)
"Yabut, I wish I could say I care, but I can't even fake it that I care :)"
"Don't talk to me about it, I don't want to get depressed :)"
"If you're going to talk to me about him, I want combat pay :)"
"Look, if I sound totally uninterested, that's because I am :)"
"Don't you have a bridge that you need to be jumping off from? :)"
edited Aug 1 '14 at 19:27
Elysian Fields♦
96.9k46292449
answered Aug 1 '14 at 16:48
Vietnhi Phuvan
68.9k7118254
edited Aug 1 '14 at 19:27
Elysian Fields♦
96.9k46292449
edited Aug 1 '14 at 19:27
Elysian Fields♦
96.9k46292449
edited Aug 1 '14 at 19:27
Elysian Fields♦
96.9k46292449
96.9k46292449
answered Aug 1 '14 at 16:48
Vietnhi Phuvan
68.9k7118254
answered Aug 1 '14 at 16:48
Vietnhi Phuvan
68.9k7118254
answered Aug 1 '14 at 16:48
Vietnhi Phuvan
68.9k7118254
68.9k7118254
suggest improvements |Â
suggest improvements |Â
2
Change the subject immediately.
– Kevin
Aug 1 '14 at 15:30
Get an "Optimism Gun"
– Elysian Fields♦
Aug 1 '14 at 16:00
1
Hi bugfixer and welcome to The Workplace! I've edited your question to better fit our format and hopefully get you more answers and upvotes. Please feel free to edit it further if I messed anything up or to improve it further. I hope to see you around! :)
– Matt Giltaji
Aug 1 '14 at 16:22
1
@enderland thanks for the link.I really liked it.
– bugfixer
Aug 1 '14 at 19:31