Prospective employer requests references specifically from current/past managers

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So I've been fairly passive about job seeking, but recently a recruiter from a company contacted me. Thus far I'm 3 or 4 interviews into the process and I would accept an offer from this company if it was offered and I think I'm 1 more interview away from this. However, in the mean time, they've asked me for references. They asked specifically for at least 1 current/past managers or supervisors. Problem is, my (only) previous job was a very small startup that's disappeared off the planet. The founder/CEO can not be reached as far as I can tell. So, the only manager I could give for a reference is my current one. Although I assume he knows I'd listen to pitches from companies, he does not know that I've been interviewing with this company. I think he would give a positive reference regardless.



However, I don't want to deal with the whole lame duck feeling at least until I know I have another offer, and I don't want to deal with that general awkwardness/conflict.



Should I just get over it and deal with it, or should I give the prospective employer something like "you can have my manager reference if you can give me a fairly certain offer" or some such?



For reference, the reason I'm looking at this prospective employer is because it matches my career goals and would be higher paying and a few other reasons. It's not really that my current employer is bad. I'd be happy working for them if this falls through, hence why I want to be careful not to upset them.







share|improve this question
















  • 1




    Listing current manager as reference is extremely risky. There are exceptions but be leery.
    – user1084
    Oct 3 '14 at 1:01










  • Can you ask for a recommendation letter not in respect to the job, perhaps for a volunteer position or for a professional certification?
    – Raystafarian
    Oct 3 '14 at 11:43
















up vote
2
down vote

favorite












So I've been fairly passive about job seeking, but recently a recruiter from a company contacted me. Thus far I'm 3 or 4 interviews into the process and I would accept an offer from this company if it was offered and I think I'm 1 more interview away from this. However, in the mean time, they've asked me for references. They asked specifically for at least 1 current/past managers or supervisors. Problem is, my (only) previous job was a very small startup that's disappeared off the planet. The founder/CEO can not be reached as far as I can tell. So, the only manager I could give for a reference is my current one. Although I assume he knows I'd listen to pitches from companies, he does not know that I've been interviewing with this company. I think he would give a positive reference regardless.



However, I don't want to deal with the whole lame duck feeling at least until I know I have another offer, and I don't want to deal with that general awkwardness/conflict.



Should I just get over it and deal with it, or should I give the prospective employer something like "you can have my manager reference if you can give me a fairly certain offer" or some such?



For reference, the reason I'm looking at this prospective employer is because it matches my career goals and would be higher paying and a few other reasons. It's not really that my current employer is bad. I'd be happy working for them if this falls through, hence why I want to be careful not to upset them.







share|improve this question
















  • 1




    Listing current manager as reference is extremely risky. There are exceptions but be leery.
    – user1084
    Oct 3 '14 at 1:01










  • Can you ask for a recommendation letter not in respect to the job, perhaps for a volunteer position or for a professional certification?
    – Raystafarian
    Oct 3 '14 at 11:43












up vote
2
down vote

favorite









up vote
2
down vote

favorite











So I've been fairly passive about job seeking, but recently a recruiter from a company contacted me. Thus far I'm 3 or 4 interviews into the process and I would accept an offer from this company if it was offered and I think I'm 1 more interview away from this. However, in the mean time, they've asked me for references. They asked specifically for at least 1 current/past managers or supervisors. Problem is, my (only) previous job was a very small startup that's disappeared off the planet. The founder/CEO can not be reached as far as I can tell. So, the only manager I could give for a reference is my current one. Although I assume he knows I'd listen to pitches from companies, he does not know that I've been interviewing with this company. I think he would give a positive reference regardless.



However, I don't want to deal with the whole lame duck feeling at least until I know I have another offer, and I don't want to deal with that general awkwardness/conflict.



Should I just get over it and deal with it, or should I give the prospective employer something like "you can have my manager reference if you can give me a fairly certain offer" or some such?



For reference, the reason I'm looking at this prospective employer is because it matches my career goals and would be higher paying and a few other reasons. It's not really that my current employer is bad. I'd be happy working for them if this falls through, hence why I want to be careful not to upset them.







share|improve this question












So I've been fairly passive about job seeking, but recently a recruiter from a company contacted me. Thus far I'm 3 or 4 interviews into the process and I would accept an offer from this company if it was offered and I think I'm 1 more interview away from this. However, in the mean time, they've asked me for references. They asked specifically for at least 1 current/past managers or supervisors. Problem is, my (only) previous job was a very small startup that's disappeared off the planet. The founder/CEO can not be reached as far as I can tell. So, the only manager I could give for a reference is my current one. Although I assume he knows I'd listen to pitches from companies, he does not know that I've been interviewing with this company. I think he would give a positive reference regardless.



However, I don't want to deal with the whole lame duck feeling at least until I know I have another offer, and I don't want to deal with that general awkwardness/conflict.



Should I just get over it and deal with it, or should I give the prospective employer something like "you can have my manager reference if you can give me a fairly certain offer" or some such?



For reference, the reason I'm looking at this prospective employer is because it matches my career goals and would be higher paying and a few other reasons. It's not really that my current employer is bad. I'd be happy working for them if this falls through, hence why I want to be careful not to upset them.









share|improve this question











share|improve this question




share|improve this question










asked Oct 2 '14 at 23:41









Gavin

111




111







  • 1




    Listing current manager as reference is extremely risky. There are exceptions but be leery.
    – user1084
    Oct 3 '14 at 1:01










  • Can you ask for a recommendation letter not in respect to the job, perhaps for a volunteer position or for a professional certification?
    – Raystafarian
    Oct 3 '14 at 11:43












  • 1




    Listing current manager as reference is extremely risky. There are exceptions but be leery.
    – user1084
    Oct 3 '14 at 1:01










  • Can you ask for a recommendation letter not in respect to the job, perhaps for a volunteer position or for a professional certification?
    – Raystafarian
    Oct 3 '14 at 11:43







1




1




Listing current manager as reference is extremely risky. There are exceptions but be leery.
– user1084
Oct 3 '14 at 1:01




Listing current manager as reference is extremely risky. There are exceptions but be leery.
– user1084
Oct 3 '14 at 1:01












Can you ask for a recommendation letter not in respect to the job, perhaps for a volunteer position or for a professional certification?
– Raystafarian
Oct 3 '14 at 11:43




Can you ask for a recommendation letter not in respect to the job, perhaps for a volunteer position or for a professional certification?
– Raystafarian
Oct 3 '14 at 11:43










4 Answers
4






active

oldest

votes

















up vote
3
down vote













I would explain the situation you are in to the company you are interviewing with. I'm sure they will understand the situation and how job searching can negatively affect a person's current job. See what they say and go from there.



Is it possible to get references from current/past colleagues? Offer this to the company and see if they will accept it instead of a manager/supervisor reference.



If you really want the reference from your manager then this really depends on your relationship with your manager and his personality. If you feel that you can trust him, I would just ask him and see what he says. There is always the risk that this could negatively affect your current job, but remember that this is a two-way street and that you too have a voice in the professional area that you work in. I highly doubt your manager and/or current company would want a reputation of negatively treating employees who are "found out" to be job searching.
(Note: I'm not suggesting that you go out of your way to bad mouth your manager/company if this does happen!)



Lastly, take heart in the fact that you got this far in the interview process with the company you are looking at. Even if you do not get a job offer and things go south with your current company, chances are that you are doing well as a professional and should be able to find another job if needed.



Good luck!






share|improve this answer





























    up vote
    1
    down vote













    This really depends on why they want a reference.



    Usually, references are taken up to prove two things.



    1. You are who you say you are.

    2. You didn't lie on your CV / resume

    In my country (UK) it is quite normal for an employer to extend a job offer which you then accept on the basis of satisfactory references.



    I would suggest that you tell the HR / hiring manager that your reference is for an existing employer and that they must not contact them until after you have accepted a job offer.






    share|improve this answer



























      up vote
      0
      down vote













      The reference check is practically the last step before the offer is made.



      Simply make sure that you have the same positive relationship with your current employer that you always had. If you decide to leave, make sure that yout current employer knows that it is simply a business decision on your part, where you made the determination that because he is not able to offer some of the opportunities that you are looking for. And that your decision to leave in no way is intended to negatively reflect on your current employer because you would have gladly stayed if he could have offered these opportunities. And that you hope to stay in touch after you leave.






      share|improve this answer



























        up vote
        0
        down vote













        Talk to the potential employer.



        It's pretty standard to say "I don't want to tell my boss I'm looking" and you can even point out that they called you. You were happy enough to not be looking actively.



        Offer to do the following:
        - peer references from your current job
        - any references you can get from your former job
        - anyone in a position of leadership in any organizations you are part of - even if they are not paid positions



        And then offer to furnish a reference from your current manager after they have given an offer. They may make the offer conditional upon checking that reference, but this is a reasonably decent good faith compromise.



        Before doing this, make sure that company policy does not prohibit giving references. Many people will ignore this, but many won't and you don't want to be left having offered a reference you may not be able to give.



        Having done 3 interviews - when you were the person originally approached - and then being asked for a reference is a whole lot to ask. At least in my field. If they are this uncertain, I'm not sure you owe them favors.






        share|improve this answer




















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          4 Answers
          4






          active

          oldest

          votes








          4 Answers
          4






          active

          oldest

          votes









          active

          oldest

          votes






          active

          oldest

          votes








          up vote
          3
          down vote













          I would explain the situation you are in to the company you are interviewing with. I'm sure they will understand the situation and how job searching can negatively affect a person's current job. See what they say and go from there.



          Is it possible to get references from current/past colleagues? Offer this to the company and see if they will accept it instead of a manager/supervisor reference.



          If you really want the reference from your manager then this really depends on your relationship with your manager and his personality. If you feel that you can trust him, I would just ask him and see what he says. There is always the risk that this could negatively affect your current job, but remember that this is a two-way street and that you too have a voice in the professional area that you work in. I highly doubt your manager and/or current company would want a reputation of negatively treating employees who are "found out" to be job searching.
          (Note: I'm not suggesting that you go out of your way to bad mouth your manager/company if this does happen!)



          Lastly, take heart in the fact that you got this far in the interview process with the company you are looking at. Even if you do not get a job offer and things go south with your current company, chances are that you are doing well as a professional and should be able to find another job if needed.



          Good luck!






          share|improve this answer


























            up vote
            3
            down vote













            I would explain the situation you are in to the company you are interviewing with. I'm sure they will understand the situation and how job searching can negatively affect a person's current job. See what they say and go from there.



            Is it possible to get references from current/past colleagues? Offer this to the company and see if they will accept it instead of a manager/supervisor reference.



            If you really want the reference from your manager then this really depends on your relationship with your manager and his personality. If you feel that you can trust him, I would just ask him and see what he says. There is always the risk that this could negatively affect your current job, but remember that this is a two-way street and that you too have a voice in the professional area that you work in. I highly doubt your manager and/or current company would want a reputation of negatively treating employees who are "found out" to be job searching.
            (Note: I'm not suggesting that you go out of your way to bad mouth your manager/company if this does happen!)



            Lastly, take heart in the fact that you got this far in the interview process with the company you are looking at. Even if you do not get a job offer and things go south with your current company, chances are that you are doing well as a professional and should be able to find another job if needed.



            Good luck!






            share|improve this answer
























              up vote
              3
              down vote










              up vote
              3
              down vote









              I would explain the situation you are in to the company you are interviewing with. I'm sure they will understand the situation and how job searching can negatively affect a person's current job. See what they say and go from there.



              Is it possible to get references from current/past colleagues? Offer this to the company and see if they will accept it instead of a manager/supervisor reference.



              If you really want the reference from your manager then this really depends on your relationship with your manager and his personality. If you feel that you can trust him, I would just ask him and see what he says. There is always the risk that this could negatively affect your current job, but remember that this is a two-way street and that you too have a voice in the professional area that you work in. I highly doubt your manager and/or current company would want a reputation of negatively treating employees who are "found out" to be job searching.
              (Note: I'm not suggesting that you go out of your way to bad mouth your manager/company if this does happen!)



              Lastly, take heart in the fact that you got this far in the interview process with the company you are looking at. Even if you do not get a job offer and things go south with your current company, chances are that you are doing well as a professional and should be able to find another job if needed.



              Good luck!






              share|improve this answer














              I would explain the situation you are in to the company you are interviewing with. I'm sure they will understand the situation and how job searching can negatively affect a person's current job. See what they say and go from there.



              Is it possible to get references from current/past colleagues? Offer this to the company and see if they will accept it instead of a manager/supervisor reference.



              If you really want the reference from your manager then this really depends on your relationship with your manager and his personality. If you feel that you can trust him, I would just ask him and see what he says. There is always the risk that this could negatively affect your current job, but remember that this is a two-way street and that you too have a voice in the professional area that you work in. I highly doubt your manager and/or current company would want a reputation of negatively treating employees who are "found out" to be job searching.
              (Note: I'm not suggesting that you go out of your way to bad mouth your manager/company if this does happen!)



              Lastly, take heart in the fact that you got this far in the interview process with the company you are looking at. Even if you do not get a job offer and things go south with your current company, chances are that you are doing well as a professional and should be able to find another job if needed.



              Good luck!







              share|improve this answer














              share|improve this answer



              share|improve this answer








              edited Oct 3 '14 at 5:02

























              answered Oct 3 '14 at 0:37









              Ninj0r

              1313




              1313






















                  up vote
                  1
                  down vote













                  This really depends on why they want a reference.



                  Usually, references are taken up to prove two things.



                  1. You are who you say you are.

                  2. You didn't lie on your CV / resume

                  In my country (UK) it is quite normal for an employer to extend a job offer which you then accept on the basis of satisfactory references.



                  I would suggest that you tell the HR / hiring manager that your reference is for an existing employer and that they must not contact them until after you have accepted a job offer.






                  share|improve this answer
























                    up vote
                    1
                    down vote













                    This really depends on why they want a reference.



                    Usually, references are taken up to prove two things.



                    1. You are who you say you are.

                    2. You didn't lie on your CV / resume

                    In my country (UK) it is quite normal for an employer to extend a job offer which you then accept on the basis of satisfactory references.



                    I would suggest that you tell the HR / hiring manager that your reference is for an existing employer and that they must not contact them until after you have accepted a job offer.






                    share|improve this answer






















                      up vote
                      1
                      down vote










                      up vote
                      1
                      down vote









                      This really depends on why they want a reference.



                      Usually, references are taken up to prove two things.



                      1. You are who you say you are.

                      2. You didn't lie on your CV / resume

                      In my country (UK) it is quite normal for an employer to extend a job offer which you then accept on the basis of satisfactory references.



                      I would suggest that you tell the HR / hiring manager that your reference is for an existing employer and that they must not contact them until after you have accepted a job offer.






                      share|improve this answer












                      This really depends on why they want a reference.



                      Usually, references are taken up to prove two things.



                      1. You are who you say you are.

                      2. You didn't lie on your CV / resume

                      In my country (UK) it is quite normal for an employer to extend a job offer which you then accept on the basis of satisfactory references.



                      I would suggest that you tell the HR / hiring manager that your reference is for an existing employer and that they must not contact them until after you have accepted a job offer.







                      share|improve this answer












                      share|improve this answer



                      share|improve this answer










                      answered Oct 3 '14 at 8:45









                      Terence Eden

                      10.3k43350




                      10.3k43350




















                          up vote
                          0
                          down vote













                          The reference check is practically the last step before the offer is made.



                          Simply make sure that you have the same positive relationship with your current employer that you always had. If you decide to leave, make sure that yout current employer knows that it is simply a business decision on your part, where you made the determination that because he is not able to offer some of the opportunities that you are looking for. And that your decision to leave in no way is intended to negatively reflect on your current employer because you would have gladly stayed if he could have offered these opportunities. And that you hope to stay in touch after you leave.






                          share|improve this answer
























                            up vote
                            0
                            down vote













                            The reference check is practically the last step before the offer is made.



                            Simply make sure that you have the same positive relationship with your current employer that you always had. If you decide to leave, make sure that yout current employer knows that it is simply a business decision on your part, where you made the determination that because he is not able to offer some of the opportunities that you are looking for. And that your decision to leave in no way is intended to negatively reflect on your current employer because you would have gladly stayed if he could have offered these opportunities. And that you hope to stay in touch after you leave.






                            share|improve this answer






















                              up vote
                              0
                              down vote










                              up vote
                              0
                              down vote









                              The reference check is practically the last step before the offer is made.



                              Simply make sure that you have the same positive relationship with your current employer that you always had. If you decide to leave, make sure that yout current employer knows that it is simply a business decision on your part, where you made the determination that because he is not able to offer some of the opportunities that you are looking for. And that your decision to leave in no way is intended to negatively reflect on your current employer because you would have gladly stayed if he could have offered these opportunities. And that you hope to stay in touch after you leave.






                              share|improve this answer












                              The reference check is practically the last step before the offer is made.



                              Simply make sure that you have the same positive relationship with your current employer that you always had. If you decide to leave, make sure that yout current employer knows that it is simply a business decision on your part, where you made the determination that because he is not able to offer some of the opportunities that you are looking for. And that your decision to leave in no way is intended to negatively reflect on your current employer because you would have gladly stayed if he could have offered these opportunities. And that you hope to stay in touch after you leave.







                              share|improve this answer












                              share|improve this answer



                              share|improve this answer










                              answered Oct 3 '14 at 8:46









                              Vietnhi Phuvan

                              68.9k7118254




                              68.9k7118254




















                                  up vote
                                  0
                                  down vote













                                  Talk to the potential employer.



                                  It's pretty standard to say "I don't want to tell my boss I'm looking" and you can even point out that they called you. You were happy enough to not be looking actively.



                                  Offer to do the following:
                                  - peer references from your current job
                                  - any references you can get from your former job
                                  - anyone in a position of leadership in any organizations you are part of - even if they are not paid positions



                                  And then offer to furnish a reference from your current manager after they have given an offer. They may make the offer conditional upon checking that reference, but this is a reasonably decent good faith compromise.



                                  Before doing this, make sure that company policy does not prohibit giving references. Many people will ignore this, but many won't and you don't want to be left having offered a reference you may not be able to give.



                                  Having done 3 interviews - when you were the person originally approached - and then being asked for a reference is a whole lot to ask. At least in my field. If they are this uncertain, I'm not sure you owe them favors.






                                  share|improve this answer
























                                    up vote
                                    0
                                    down vote













                                    Talk to the potential employer.



                                    It's pretty standard to say "I don't want to tell my boss I'm looking" and you can even point out that they called you. You were happy enough to not be looking actively.



                                    Offer to do the following:
                                    - peer references from your current job
                                    - any references you can get from your former job
                                    - anyone in a position of leadership in any organizations you are part of - even if they are not paid positions



                                    And then offer to furnish a reference from your current manager after they have given an offer. They may make the offer conditional upon checking that reference, but this is a reasonably decent good faith compromise.



                                    Before doing this, make sure that company policy does not prohibit giving references. Many people will ignore this, but many won't and you don't want to be left having offered a reference you may not be able to give.



                                    Having done 3 interviews - when you were the person originally approached - and then being asked for a reference is a whole lot to ask. At least in my field. If they are this uncertain, I'm not sure you owe them favors.






                                    share|improve this answer






















                                      up vote
                                      0
                                      down vote










                                      up vote
                                      0
                                      down vote









                                      Talk to the potential employer.



                                      It's pretty standard to say "I don't want to tell my boss I'm looking" and you can even point out that they called you. You were happy enough to not be looking actively.



                                      Offer to do the following:
                                      - peer references from your current job
                                      - any references you can get from your former job
                                      - anyone in a position of leadership in any organizations you are part of - even if they are not paid positions



                                      And then offer to furnish a reference from your current manager after they have given an offer. They may make the offer conditional upon checking that reference, but this is a reasonably decent good faith compromise.



                                      Before doing this, make sure that company policy does not prohibit giving references. Many people will ignore this, but many won't and you don't want to be left having offered a reference you may not be able to give.



                                      Having done 3 interviews - when you were the person originally approached - and then being asked for a reference is a whole lot to ask. At least in my field. If they are this uncertain, I'm not sure you owe them favors.






                                      share|improve this answer












                                      Talk to the potential employer.



                                      It's pretty standard to say "I don't want to tell my boss I'm looking" and you can even point out that they called you. You were happy enough to not be looking actively.



                                      Offer to do the following:
                                      - peer references from your current job
                                      - any references you can get from your former job
                                      - anyone in a position of leadership in any organizations you are part of - even if they are not paid positions



                                      And then offer to furnish a reference from your current manager after they have given an offer. They may make the offer conditional upon checking that reference, but this is a reasonably decent good faith compromise.



                                      Before doing this, make sure that company policy does not prohibit giving references. Many people will ignore this, but many won't and you don't want to be left having offered a reference you may not be able to give.



                                      Having done 3 interviews - when you were the person originally approached - and then being asked for a reference is a whole lot to ask. At least in my field. If they are this uncertain, I'm not sure you owe them favors.







                                      share|improve this answer












                                      share|improve this answer



                                      share|improve this answer










                                      answered Oct 4 '14 at 2:24









                                      bethlakshmi

                                      70.3k4136277




                                      70.3k4136277






















                                           

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