How to work in a group where criticism of actions is very difficult? [closed]

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There is a group of people: one from Sweden, one from Russia and one from Kazastan in a project about petreleum drilling. Those two (Russian and Kasastan one) agrees on everything what they decide. The swede has difficulty getting anything forward because of those two. Swede is the only engineer, while the other two are from areas of Business and Social Sciences.
All members are equally responsible finally to the head of the department who only participates in the project when the project is done. So no communication with the head while the project is under process.



Group members are all equal value where no roles has been set forward



  • One engineer (Sweden)

  • Business and Social scientist (Russia)

  • Business and Social scientist (Kazakstan)

Assume you have a group of people where majority of people come from environments where criticism of actions is strictly discouraged.
You are the swede here belonging to a minority.
My last experience is that they are not able accept any criticism of actions, just because there is nothing to criticise.
Everything is just good which already exists.
Everything new is redundant if the existing good need to be changed.
This was my feeling after the first meeting.



This is problematic sometimes when you need to work in some engineering projects. Especially when there is no group leader who has the responsibility of the success of the project. I can get very little done in a such group.



How can you deal with people who do not accept criticism?



How can you go forward after such a first meeting?
I did not have any possibility to become familiar with other people in the project beforehand.
So I knew nothing about those other two.
I negotiated some work to all of us before next meeting.
We promised to share the result before the next meeting to the group members.







share|improve this question














closed as off-topic by gnat, IDrinkandIKnowThings, Garrison Neely, Jan Doggen, Michael Grubey Oct 18 '14 at 16:06


This question appears to be off-topic. The users who voted to close gave this specific reason:


  • "Real questions have answers. Rather than explaining why your situation is terrible, or why your boss/coworker makes you unhappy, explain what you want to do to make it better. For more information, click here." – gnat, IDrinkandIKnowThings, Garrison Neely, Michael Grubey
If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.








  • 1




    +1 to counter the (IMHO unwarranted) downvote. I think this is a genuine and on-topic question. It could be improved e.g. by adding more details on the roles the different persons play in this group, but I don't see this as reason enough to downvote.
    – Péter Török
    Oct 13 '14 at 18:55






  • 1




    "socialist" is not a profession. Even "social (business and social degrees) workers" is unclear. Please edit your question to give better descriptions. And look at the entire question again, your texts need precision. E.g does "These people" refer to 2 or 3? Also: you are constantly mixing facts and opinions/interpretations and not telling whose opinions they are.
    – Jan Doggen
    Oct 14 '14 at 7:43

















up vote
0
down vote

favorite
1












There is a group of people: one from Sweden, one from Russia and one from Kazastan in a project about petreleum drilling. Those two (Russian and Kasastan one) agrees on everything what they decide. The swede has difficulty getting anything forward because of those two. Swede is the only engineer, while the other two are from areas of Business and Social Sciences.
All members are equally responsible finally to the head of the department who only participates in the project when the project is done. So no communication with the head while the project is under process.



Group members are all equal value where no roles has been set forward



  • One engineer (Sweden)

  • Business and Social scientist (Russia)

  • Business and Social scientist (Kazakstan)

Assume you have a group of people where majority of people come from environments where criticism of actions is strictly discouraged.
You are the swede here belonging to a minority.
My last experience is that they are not able accept any criticism of actions, just because there is nothing to criticise.
Everything is just good which already exists.
Everything new is redundant if the existing good need to be changed.
This was my feeling after the first meeting.



This is problematic sometimes when you need to work in some engineering projects. Especially when there is no group leader who has the responsibility of the success of the project. I can get very little done in a such group.



How can you deal with people who do not accept criticism?



How can you go forward after such a first meeting?
I did not have any possibility to become familiar with other people in the project beforehand.
So I knew nothing about those other two.
I negotiated some work to all of us before next meeting.
We promised to share the result before the next meeting to the group members.







share|improve this question














closed as off-topic by gnat, IDrinkandIKnowThings, Garrison Neely, Jan Doggen, Michael Grubey Oct 18 '14 at 16:06


This question appears to be off-topic. The users who voted to close gave this specific reason:


  • "Real questions have answers. Rather than explaining why your situation is terrible, or why your boss/coworker makes you unhappy, explain what you want to do to make it better. For more information, click here." – gnat, IDrinkandIKnowThings, Garrison Neely, Michael Grubey
If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.








  • 1




    +1 to counter the (IMHO unwarranted) downvote. I think this is a genuine and on-topic question. It could be improved e.g. by adding more details on the roles the different persons play in this group, but I don't see this as reason enough to downvote.
    – Péter Török
    Oct 13 '14 at 18:55






  • 1




    "socialist" is not a profession. Even "social (business and social degrees) workers" is unclear. Please edit your question to give better descriptions. And look at the entire question again, your texts need precision. E.g does "These people" refer to 2 or 3? Also: you are constantly mixing facts and opinions/interpretations and not telling whose opinions they are.
    – Jan Doggen
    Oct 14 '14 at 7:43













up vote
0
down vote

favorite
1









up vote
0
down vote

favorite
1






1





There is a group of people: one from Sweden, one from Russia and one from Kazastan in a project about petreleum drilling. Those two (Russian and Kasastan one) agrees on everything what they decide. The swede has difficulty getting anything forward because of those two. Swede is the only engineer, while the other two are from areas of Business and Social Sciences.
All members are equally responsible finally to the head of the department who only participates in the project when the project is done. So no communication with the head while the project is under process.



Group members are all equal value where no roles has been set forward



  • One engineer (Sweden)

  • Business and Social scientist (Russia)

  • Business and Social scientist (Kazakstan)

Assume you have a group of people where majority of people come from environments where criticism of actions is strictly discouraged.
You are the swede here belonging to a minority.
My last experience is that they are not able accept any criticism of actions, just because there is nothing to criticise.
Everything is just good which already exists.
Everything new is redundant if the existing good need to be changed.
This was my feeling after the first meeting.



This is problematic sometimes when you need to work in some engineering projects. Especially when there is no group leader who has the responsibility of the success of the project. I can get very little done in a such group.



How can you deal with people who do not accept criticism?



How can you go forward after such a first meeting?
I did not have any possibility to become familiar with other people in the project beforehand.
So I knew nothing about those other two.
I negotiated some work to all of us before next meeting.
We promised to share the result before the next meeting to the group members.







share|improve this question














There is a group of people: one from Sweden, one from Russia and one from Kazastan in a project about petreleum drilling. Those two (Russian and Kasastan one) agrees on everything what they decide. The swede has difficulty getting anything forward because of those two. Swede is the only engineer, while the other two are from areas of Business and Social Sciences.
All members are equally responsible finally to the head of the department who only participates in the project when the project is done. So no communication with the head while the project is under process.



Group members are all equal value where no roles has been set forward



  • One engineer (Sweden)

  • Business and Social scientist (Russia)

  • Business and Social scientist (Kazakstan)

Assume you have a group of people where majority of people come from environments where criticism of actions is strictly discouraged.
You are the swede here belonging to a minority.
My last experience is that they are not able accept any criticism of actions, just because there is nothing to criticise.
Everything is just good which already exists.
Everything new is redundant if the existing good need to be changed.
This was my feeling after the first meeting.



This is problematic sometimes when you need to work in some engineering projects. Especially when there is no group leader who has the responsibility of the success of the project. I can get very little done in a such group.



How can you deal with people who do not accept criticism?



How can you go forward after such a first meeting?
I did not have any possibility to become familiar with other people in the project beforehand.
So I knew nothing about those other two.
I negotiated some work to all of us before next meeting.
We promised to share the result before the next meeting to the group members.









share|improve this question













share|improve this question




share|improve this question








edited Oct 14 '14 at 7:51

























asked Oct 13 '14 at 14:53









Léo Léopold Hertz 준영

1287




1287




closed as off-topic by gnat, IDrinkandIKnowThings, Garrison Neely, Jan Doggen, Michael Grubey Oct 18 '14 at 16:06


This question appears to be off-topic. The users who voted to close gave this specific reason:


  • "Real questions have answers. Rather than explaining why your situation is terrible, or why your boss/coworker makes you unhappy, explain what you want to do to make it better. For more information, click here." – gnat, IDrinkandIKnowThings, Garrison Neely, Michael Grubey
If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.




closed as off-topic by gnat, IDrinkandIKnowThings, Garrison Neely, Jan Doggen, Michael Grubey Oct 18 '14 at 16:06


This question appears to be off-topic. The users who voted to close gave this specific reason:


  • "Real questions have answers. Rather than explaining why your situation is terrible, or why your boss/coworker makes you unhappy, explain what you want to do to make it better. For more information, click here." – gnat, IDrinkandIKnowThings, Garrison Neely, Michael Grubey
If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.







  • 1




    +1 to counter the (IMHO unwarranted) downvote. I think this is a genuine and on-topic question. It could be improved e.g. by adding more details on the roles the different persons play in this group, but I don't see this as reason enough to downvote.
    – Péter Török
    Oct 13 '14 at 18:55






  • 1




    "socialist" is not a profession. Even "social (business and social degrees) workers" is unclear. Please edit your question to give better descriptions. And look at the entire question again, your texts need precision. E.g does "These people" refer to 2 or 3? Also: you are constantly mixing facts and opinions/interpretations and not telling whose opinions they are.
    – Jan Doggen
    Oct 14 '14 at 7:43













  • 1




    +1 to counter the (IMHO unwarranted) downvote. I think this is a genuine and on-topic question. It could be improved e.g. by adding more details on the roles the different persons play in this group, but I don't see this as reason enough to downvote.
    – Péter Török
    Oct 13 '14 at 18:55






  • 1




    "socialist" is not a profession. Even "social (business and social degrees) workers" is unclear. Please edit your question to give better descriptions. And look at the entire question again, your texts need precision. E.g does "These people" refer to 2 or 3? Also: you are constantly mixing facts and opinions/interpretations and not telling whose opinions they are.
    – Jan Doggen
    Oct 14 '14 at 7:43








1




1




+1 to counter the (IMHO unwarranted) downvote. I think this is a genuine and on-topic question. It could be improved e.g. by adding more details on the roles the different persons play in this group, but I don't see this as reason enough to downvote.
– Péter Török
Oct 13 '14 at 18:55




+1 to counter the (IMHO unwarranted) downvote. I think this is a genuine and on-topic question. It could be improved e.g. by adding more details on the roles the different persons play in this group, but I don't see this as reason enough to downvote.
– Péter Török
Oct 13 '14 at 18:55




1




1




"socialist" is not a profession. Even "social (business and social degrees) workers" is unclear. Please edit your question to give better descriptions. And look at the entire question again, your texts need precision. E.g does "These people" refer to 2 or 3? Also: you are constantly mixing facts and opinions/interpretations and not telling whose opinions they are.
– Jan Doggen
Oct 14 '14 at 7:43





"socialist" is not a profession. Even "social (business and social degrees) workers" is unclear. Please edit your question to give better descriptions. And look at the entire question again, your texts need precision. E.g does "These people" refer to 2 or 3? Also: you are constantly mixing facts and opinions/interpretations and not telling whose opinions they are.
– Jan Doggen
Oct 14 '14 at 7:43











3 Answers
3






active

oldest

votes

















up vote
4
down vote



accepted










I think you need to understand the different cultural background of people from Eastern countries (in the broad sense). In these cultures openly admitting a fault is seen as a weakness and personal loss, hence people try to avoid this at all costs and fight back at any perceived attempt to criticize them or their actions or decisions. Which of course does make it very challenging for people from other cultures to work with them and solve problems together, but this is just a given which IMO you need to understand.



So if you want to continue working with them and succeed with the project, I think you'd better avoid any direct criticism, and try to frame it instead as an improvement idea, or try to give them subtle hints only and allow them to "invent" the great idea by themselves. In this way their ego will not be threatened and they can be made to accept new ideas. The obvious backside is that they will most likely take the credit for any success and any novel idea. If you can live with that, go ahead; if not, try to get out of this as soon as possible.






share|improve this answer






















  • Yes, I think this is the way to go. To make compromises, and learn how to negotiate with those people.
    – Léo Léopold Hertz 준영
    Oct 13 '14 at 19:16

















up vote
2
down vote













If you find that critisizing what should be critized and blaming people for doing things wrong doesn't achieve your goal (and it sounds like it won't), you need to either adjust your behaviour, possibly take the blame, make it sound like your good ideas etc. or accept that your project will fail.



In that situation, if you don't want the project to fail, just make sure that your management is 100 percent aware that if you take the blame for a failure, it's not because it is your fault, but because the project will be stuck forever if you don't, and if it looks like none of the good ideas come from you, that's because you must attribute them to someone else because otherwise the two numptys that pretend to work with you won't accept them.






share|improve this answer



























    up vote
    1
    down vote














    How can you deal with people who do not accept criticism?




    I criticize them (when appropriate).



    The fact of the matter is that it's decidedly uncommon for things to be going perfectly. If stuff wasn't broken, I wouldn't be working on it. And the first step to fixing a problem is to admit that there's a problem.



    If the other people don't think that it's a problem, then it becomes my challenge to convince them that it's a problem (or to learn why I am incorrect). Sometimes that needs to be done via logical argument, sometimes via an appeal to emotion, sometimes via examples of how things can be better... and sometimes it (practically) cannot be done since the others believe thoroughly that it is not a problem. Those last few people will need to be worked around - either by convincing a majority of others or by ignoring them (or by abandoning the problem).



    What to do will depend on your situation and the people involved. Since you're all (theoretically) there to fix problems and do the best thing for the company, it's just a matter of convincing people that you're working for that shared goal.






    share|improve this answer



























      3 Answers
      3






      active

      oldest

      votes








      3 Answers
      3






      active

      oldest

      votes









      active

      oldest

      votes






      active

      oldest

      votes








      up vote
      4
      down vote



      accepted










      I think you need to understand the different cultural background of people from Eastern countries (in the broad sense). In these cultures openly admitting a fault is seen as a weakness and personal loss, hence people try to avoid this at all costs and fight back at any perceived attempt to criticize them or their actions or decisions. Which of course does make it very challenging for people from other cultures to work with them and solve problems together, but this is just a given which IMO you need to understand.



      So if you want to continue working with them and succeed with the project, I think you'd better avoid any direct criticism, and try to frame it instead as an improvement idea, or try to give them subtle hints only and allow them to "invent" the great idea by themselves. In this way their ego will not be threatened and they can be made to accept new ideas. The obvious backside is that they will most likely take the credit for any success and any novel idea. If you can live with that, go ahead; if not, try to get out of this as soon as possible.






      share|improve this answer






















      • Yes, I think this is the way to go. To make compromises, and learn how to negotiate with those people.
        – Léo Léopold Hertz 준영
        Oct 13 '14 at 19:16














      up vote
      4
      down vote



      accepted










      I think you need to understand the different cultural background of people from Eastern countries (in the broad sense). In these cultures openly admitting a fault is seen as a weakness and personal loss, hence people try to avoid this at all costs and fight back at any perceived attempt to criticize them or their actions or decisions. Which of course does make it very challenging for people from other cultures to work with them and solve problems together, but this is just a given which IMO you need to understand.



      So if you want to continue working with them and succeed with the project, I think you'd better avoid any direct criticism, and try to frame it instead as an improvement idea, or try to give them subtle hints only and allow them to "invent" the great idea by themselves. In this way their ego will not be threatened and they can be made to accept new ideas. The obvious backside is that they will most likely take the credit for any success and any novel idea. If you can live with that, go ahead; if not, try to get out of this as soon as possible.






      share|improve this answer






















      • Yes, I think this is the way to go. To make compromises, and learn how to negotiate with those people.
        – Léo Léopold Hertz 준영
        Oct 13 '14 at 19:16












      up vote
      4
      down vote



      accepted







      up vote
      4
      down vote



      accepted






      I think you need to understand the different cultural background of people from Eastern countries (in the broad sense). In these cultures openly admitting a fault is seen as a weakness and personal loss, hence people try to avoid this at all costs and fight back at any perceived attempt to criticize them or their actions or decisions. Which of course does make it very challenging for people from other cultures to work with them and solve problems together, but this is just a given which IMO you need to understand.



      So if you want to continue working with them and succeed with the project, I think you'd better avoid any direct criticism, and try to frame it instead as an improvement idea, or try to give them subtle hints only and allow them to "invent" the great idea by themselves. In this way their ego will not be threatened and they can be made to accept new ideas. The obvious backside is that they will most likely take the credit for any success and any novel idea. If you can live with that, go ahead; if not, try to get out of this as soon as possible.






      share|improve this answer














      I think you need to understand the different cultural background of people from Eastern countries (in the broad sense). In these cultures openly admitting a fault is seen as a weakness and personal loss, hence people try to avoid this at all costs and fight back at any perceived attempt to criticize them or their actions or decisions. Which of course does make it very challenging for people from other cultures to work with them and solve problems together, but this is just a given which IMO you need to understand.



      So if you want to continue working with them and succeed with the project, I think you'd better avoid any direct criticism, and try to frame it instead as an improvement idea, or try to give them subtle hints only and allow them to "invent" the great idea by themselves. In this way their ego will not be threatened and they can be made to accept new ideas. The obvious backside is that they will most likely take the credit for any success and any novel idea. If you can live with that, go ahead; if not, try to get out of this as soon as possible.







      share|improve this answer














      share|improve this answer



      share|improve this answer








      edited Oct 13 '14 at 18:56

























      answered Oct 13 '14 at 15:55









      Péter Török

      3,7401124




      3,7401124











      • Yes, I think this is the way to go. To make compromises, and learn how to negotiate with those people.
        – Léo Léopold Hertz 준영
        Oct 13 '14 at 19:16
















      • Yes, I think this is the way to go. To make compromises, and learn how to negotiate with those people.
        – Léo Léopold Hertz 준영
        Oct 13 '14 at 19:16















      Yes, I think this is the way to go. To make compromises, and learn how to negotiate with those people.
      – Léo Léopold Hertz 준영
      Oct 13 '14 at 19:16




      Yes, I think this is the way to go. To make compromises, and learn how to negotiate with those people.
      – Léo Léopold Hertz 준영
      Oct 13 '14 at 19:16












      up vote
      2
      down vote













      If you find that critisizing what should be critized and blaming people for doing things wrong doesn't achieve your goal (and it sounds like it won't), you need to either adjust your behaviour, possibly take the blame, make it sound like your good ideas etc. or accept that your project will fail.



      In that situation, if you don't want the project to fail, just make sure that your management is 100 percent aware that if you take the blame for a failure, it's not because it is your fault, but because the project will be stuck forever if you don't, and if it looks like none of the good ideas come from you, that's because you must attribute them to someone else because otherwise the two numptys that pretend to work with you won't accept them.






      share|improve this answer
























        up vote
        2
        down vote













        If you find that critisizing what should be critized and blaming people for doing things wrong doesn't achieve your goal (and it sounds like it won't), you need to either adjust your behaviour, possibly take the blame, make it sound like your good ideas etc. or accept that your project will fail.



        In that situation, if you don't want the project to fail, just make sure that your management is 100 percent aware that if you take the blame for a failure, it's not because it is your fault, but because the project will be stuck forever if you don't, and if it looks like none of the good ideas come from you, that's because you must attribute them to someone else because otherwise the two numptys that pretend to work with you won't accept them.






        share|improve this answer






















          up vote
          2
          down vote










          up vote
          2
          down vote









          If you find that critisizing what should be critized and blaming people for doing things wrong doesn't achieve your goal (and it sounds like it won't), you need to either adjust your behaviour, possibly take the blame, make it sound like your good ideas etc. or accept that your project will fail.



          In that situation, if you don't want the project to fail, just make sure that your management is 100 percent aware that if you take the blame for a failure, it's not because it is your fault, but because the project will be stuck forever if you don't, and if it looks like none of the good ideas come from you, that's because you must attribute them to someone else because otherwise the two numptys that pretend to work with you won't accept them.






          share|improve this answer












          If you find that critisizing what should be critized and blaming people for doing things wrong doesn't achieve your goal (and it sounds like it won't), you need to either adjust your behaviour, possibly take the blame, make it sound like your good ideas etc. or accept that your project will fail.



          In that situation, if you don't want the project to fail, just make sure that your management is 100 percent aware that if you take the blame for a failure, it's not because it is your fault, but because the project will be stuck forever if you don't, and if it looks like none of the good ideas come from you, that's because you must attribute them to someone else because otherwise the two numptys that pretend to work with you won't accept them.







          share|improve this answer












          share|improve this answer



          share|improve this answer










          answered Oct 13 '14 at 22:27









          gnasher729

          71.3k31131223




          71.3k31131223




















              up vote
              1
              down vote














              How can you deal with people who do not accept criticism?




              I criticize them (when appropriate).



              The fact of the matter is that it's decidedly uncommon for things to be going perfectly. If stuff wasn't broken, I wouldn't be working on it. And the first step to fixing a problem is to admit that there's a problem.



              If the other people don't think that it's a problem, then it becomes my challenge to convince them that it's a problem (or to learn why I am incorrect). Sometimes that needs to be done via logical argument, sometimes via an appeal to emotion, sometimes via examples of how things can be better... and sometimes it (practically) cannot be done since the others believe thoroughly that it is not a problem. Those last few people will need to be worked around - either by convincing a majority of others or by ignoring them (or by abandoning the problem).



              What to do will depend on your situation and the people involved. Since you're all (theoretically) there to fix problems and do the best thing for the company, it's just a matter of convincing people that you're working for that shared goal.






              share|improve this answer
























                up vote
                1
                down vote














                How can you deal with people who do not accept criticism?




                I criticize them (when appropriate).



                The fact of the matter is that it's decidedly uncommon for things to be going perfectly. If stuff wasn't broken, I wouldn't be working on it. And the first step to fixing a problem is to admit that there's a problem.



                If the other people don't think that it's a problem, then it becomes my challenge to convince them that it's a problem (or to learn why I am incorrect). Sometimes that needs to be done via logical argument, sometimes via an appeal to emotion, sometimes via examples of how things can be better... and sometimes it (practically) cannot be done since the others believe thoroughly that it is not a problem. Those last few people will need to be worked around - either by convincing a majority of others or by ignoring them (or by abandoning the problem).



                What to do will depend on your situation and the people involved. Since you're all (theoretically) there to fix problems and do the best thing for the company, it's just a matter of convincing people that you're working for that shared goal.






                share|improve this answer






















                  up vote
                  1
                  down vote










                  up vote
                  1
                  down vote










                  How can you deal with people who do not accept criticism?




                  I criticize them (when appropriate).



                  The fact of the matter is that it's decidedly uncommon for things to be going perfectly. If stuff wasn't broken, I wouldn't be working on it. And the first step to fixing a problem is to admit that there's a problem.



                  If the other people don't think that it's a problem, then it becomes my challenge to convince them that it's a problem (or to learn why I am incorrect). Sometimes that needs to be done via logical argument, sometimes via an appeal to emotion, sometimes via examples of how things can be better... and sometimes it (practically) cannot be done since the others believe thoroughly that it is not a problem. Those last few people will need to be worked around - either by convincing a majority of others or by ignoring them (or by abandoning the problem).



                  What to do will depend on your situation and the people involved. Since you're all (theoretically) there to fix problems and do the best thing for the company, it's just a matter of convincing people that you're working for that shared goal.






                  share|improve this answer













                  How can you deal with people who do not accept criticism?




                  I criticize them (when appropriate).



                  The fact of the matter is that it's decidedly uncommon for things to be going perfectly. If stuff wasn't broken, I wouldn't be working on it. And the first step to fixing a problem is to admit that there's a problem.



                  If the other people don't think that it's a problem, then it becomes my challenge to convince them that it's a problem (or to learn why I am incorrect). Sometimes that needs to be done via logical argument, sometimes via an appeal to emotion, sometimes via examples of how things can be better... and sometimes it (practically) cannot be done since the others believe thoroughly that it is not a problem. Those last few people will need to be worked around - either by convincing a majority of others or by ignoring them (or by abandoning the problem).



                  What to do will depend on your situation and the people involved. Since you're all (theoretically) there to fix problems and do the best thing for the company, it's just a matter of convincing people that you're working for that shared goal.







                  share|improve this answer












                  share|improve this answer



                  share|improve this answer










                  answered Oct 13 '14 at 15:46









                  Telastyn

                  33.9k977120




                  33.9k977120












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