How to stay friendly when turning down requests your boss asked you not to escalate? [duplicate]

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  • How to politely turn down a task that is beyond the scope of my job description? [duplicate]

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A common advice when receiving conflicting requests that compete for the same time and resources is to escalate the requests to the manager.



But what if the manager explicitly asks you not to do so and instead act as a "gatekeeper" between the team and the rest of the company? Essentially, your manager asks you to say "no" to all those types of requets.



How to do so and still appear friendly?







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marked as duplicate by gnat, Jan Doggen, Chris E, Jim G., IDrinkandIKnowThings Dec 8 '14 at 15:00


This question has been asked before and already has an answer. If those answers do not fully address your question, please ask a new question.




















    up vote
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    This question already has an answer here:



    • How to politely turn down a task that is beyond the scope of my job description? [duplicate]

      2 answers



    A common advice when receiving conflicting requests that compete for the same time and resources is to escalate the requests to the manager.



    But what if the manager explicitly asks you not to do so and instead act as a "gatekeeper" between the team and the rest of the company? Essentially, your manager asks you to say "no" to all those types of requets.



    How to do so and still appear friendly?







    share|improve this question












    marked as duplicate by gnat, Jan Doggen, Chris E, Jim G., IDrinkandIKnowThings Dec 8 '14 at 15:00


    This question has been asked before and already has an answer. If those answers do not fully address your question, please ask a new question.
















      up vote
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      favorite









      up vote
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      This question already has an answer here:



      • How to politely turn down a task that is beyond the scope of my job description? [duplicate]

        2 answers



      A common advice when receiving conflicting requests that compete for the same time and resources is to escalate the requests to the manager.



      But what if the manager explicitly asks you not to do so and instead act as a "gatekeeper" between the team and the rest of the company? Essentially, your manager asks you to say "no" to all those types of requets.



      How to do so and still appear friendly?







      share|improve this question













      This question already has an answer here:



      • How to politely turn down a task that is beyond the scope of my job description? [duplicate]

        2 answers



      A common advice when receiving conflicting requests that compete for the same time and resources is to escalate the requests to the manager.



      But what if the manager explicitly asks you not to do so and instead act as a "gatekeeper" between the team and the rest of the company? Essentially, your manager asks you to say "no" to all those types of requets.



      How to do so and still appear friendly?





      This question already has an answer here:



      • How to politely turn down a task that is beyond the scope of my job description? [duplicate]

        2 answers









      share|improve this question











      share|improve this question




      share|improve this question










      asked Dec 8 '14 at 8:58









      NoNoNO

      71




      71




      marked as duplicate by gnat, Jan Doggen, Chris E, Jim G., IDrinkandIKnowThings Dec 8 '14 at 15:00


      This question has been asked before and already has an answer. If those answers do not fully address your question, please ask a new question.






      marked as duplicate by gnat, Jan Doggen, Chris E, Jim G., IDrinkandIKnowThings Dec 8 '14 at 15:00


      This question has been asked before and already has an answer. If those answers do not fully address your question, please ask a new question.






















          2 Answers
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          Without knowing your manager's reason, I'm guessing that maybe too many requests are being escalated without good cause. Since your main concern is appearing friendly then you will have to follow your manager's instructions with total transparency.



          Instead of just saying no, explain to your co-workers that requests cannot be automatically escalated anymore. Then review the request and ask how you can help solve the problem so escalating isn't necessary.



          You will know which ones have to be escalated but remember if you get the first one over with, the rest will be easy. Telling your manager you had no choice but escalate the request might make him irritated. If he seems mad or says something rude, appear oblivious to everything he says or does because once he realizes you are right, he won't feel so stupid if he thinks you weren't paying attention.



          TIP: The best way to combat someone's mad irritation or yelling is with a big smile. Just keep smiling and watch anger melt into frustrated confusion.






          share|improve this answer



























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            Then you'll have to act as THE gatekeeper. Parse, select and reject away and explain that if they deem your decision to be mistaken, they can appeal to your manager. With your expectation that your manager will back you in 90% of the cases and override you in the remaining 10%, of course.



            No matter how friendly the tone you keep, someone's ox is going to be gored by your decision and you'll be in someone's doghouse. Don't take it personally, no matter how upset they are with you, they'll have to do business with you again - You know it and unless they are clueless, they know it.






            share|improve this answer



























              2 Answers
              2






              active

              oldest

              votes








              2 Answers
              2






              active

              oldest

              votes









              active

              oldest

              votes






              active

              oldest

              votes








              up vote
              0
              down vote













              Without knowing your manager's reason, I'm guessing that maybe too many requests are being escalated without good cause. Since your main concern is appearing friendly then you will have to follow your manager's instructions with total transparency.



              Instead of just saying no, explain to your co-workers that requests cannot be automatically escalated anymore. Then review the request and ask how you can help solve the problem so escalating isn't necessary.



              You will know which ones have to be escalated but remember if you get the first one over with, the rest will be easy. Telling your manager you had no choice but escalate the request might make him irritated. If he seems mad or says something rude, appear oblivious to everything he says or does because once he realizes you are right, he won't feel so stupid if he thinks you weren't paying attention.



              TIP: The best way to combat someone's mad irritation or yelling is with a big smile. Just keep smiling and watch anger melt into frustrated confusion.






              share|improve this answer
























                up vote
                0
                down vote













                Without knowing your manager's reason, I'm guessing that maybe too many requests are being escalated without good cause. Since your main concern is appearing friendly then you will have to follow your manager's instructions with total transparency.



                Instead of just saying no, explain to your co-workers that requests cannot be automatically escalated anymore. Then review the request and ask how you can help solve the problem so escalating isn't necessary.



                You will know which ones have to be escalated but remember if you get the first one over with, the rest will be easy. Telling your manager you had no choice but escalate the request might make him irritated. If he seems mad or says something rude, appear oblivious to everything he says or does because once he realizes you are right, he won't feel so stupid if he thinks you weren't paying attention.



                TIP: The best way to combat someone's mad irritation or yelling is with a big smile. Just keep smiling and watch anger melt into frustrated confusion.






                share|improve this answer






















                  up vote
                  0
                  down vote










                  up vote
                  0
                  down vote









                  Without knowing your manager's reason, I'm guessing that maybe too many requests are being escalated without good cause. Since your main concern is appearing friendly then you will have to follow your manager's instructions with total transparency.



                  Instead of just saying no, explain to your co-workers that requests cannot be automatically escalated anymore. Then review the request and ask how you can help solve the problem so escalating isn't necessary.



                  You will know which ones have to be escalated but remember if you get the first one over with, the rest will be easy. Telling your manager you had no choice but escalate the request might make him irritated. If he seems mad or says something rude, appear oblivious to everything he says or does because once he realizes you are right, he won't feel so stupid if he thinks you weren't paying attention.



                  TIP: The best way to combat someone's mad irritation or yelling is with a big smile. Just keep smiling and watch anger melt into frustrated confusion.






                  share|improve this answer












                  Without knowing your manager's reason, I'm guessing that maybe too many requests are being escalated without good cause. Since your main concern is appearing friendly then you will have to follow your manager's instructions with total transparency.



                  Instead of just saying no, explain to your co-workers that requests cannot be automatically escalated anymore. Then review the request and ask how you can help solve the problem so escalating isn't necessary.



                  You will know which ones have to be escalated but remember if you get the first one over with, the rest will be easy. Telling your manager you had no choice but escalate the request might make him irritated. If he seems mad or says something rude, appear oblivious to everything he says or does because once he realizes you are right, he won't feel so stupid if he thinks you weren't paying attention.



                  TIP: The best way to combat someone's mad irritation or yelling is with a big smile. Just keep smiling and watch anger melt into frustrated confusion.







                  share|improve this answer












                  share|improve this answer



                  share|improve this answer










                  answered Dec 8 '14 at 12:19









                  thriftgirl62

                  11




                  11






















                      up vote
                      0
                      down vote













                      Then you'll have to act as THE gatekeeper. Parse, select and reject away and explain that if they deem your decision to be mistaken, they can appeal to your manager. With your expectation that your manager will back you in 90% of the cases and override you in the remaining 10%, of course.



                      No matter how friendly the tone you keep, someone's ox is going to be gored by your decision and you'll be in someone's doghouse. Don't take it personally, no matter how upset they are with you, they'll have to do business with you again - You know it and unless they are clueless, they know it.






                      share|improve this answer
























                        up vote
                        0
                        down vote













                        Then you'll have to act as THE gatekeeper. Parse, select and reject away and explain that if they deem your decision to be mistaken, they can appeal to your manager. With your expectation that your manager will back you in 90% of the cases and override you in the remaining 10%, of course.



                        No matter how friendly the tone you keep, someone's ox is going to be gored by your decision and you'll be in someone's doghouse. Don't take it personally, no matter how upset they are with you, they'll have to do business with you again - You know it and unless they are clueless, they know it.






                        share|improve this answer






















                          up vote
                          0
                          down vote










                          up vote
                          0
                          down vote









                          Then you'll have to act as THE gatekeeper. Parse, select and reject away and explain that if they deem your decision to be mistaken, they can appeal to your manager. With your expectation that your manager will back you in 90% of the cases and override you in the remaining 10%, of course.



                          No matter how friendly the tone you keep, someone's ox is going to be gored by your decision and you'll be in someone's doghouse. Don't take it personally, no matter how upset they are with you, they'll have to do business with you again - You know it and unless they are clueless, they know it.






                          share|improve this answer












                          Then you'll have to act as THE gatekeeper. Parse, select and reject away and explain that if they deem your decision to be mistaken, they can appeal to your manager. With your expectation that your manager will back you in 90% of the cases and override you in the remaining 10%, of course.



                          No matter how friendly the tone you keep, someone's ox is going to be gored by your decision and you'll be in someone's doghouse. Don't take it personally, no matter how upset they are with you, they'll have to do business with you again - You know it and unless they are clueless, they know it.







                          share|improve this answer












                          share|improve this answer



                          share|improve this answer










                          answered Dec 8 '14 at 12:47









                          Vietnhi Phuvan

                          68.9k7118254




                          68.9k7118254












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