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How do I address the sometimes explosive co-worker and blurred lines of responsibilities?
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I have been at my job 3 years, a co-worker has been here 19 years.
Lately, a lot of her tasks have been shifted to me and the temper tantrums ensue from her – personal accusations from her, raised voices, slamming doors – a very uncomfortable situation. Some days are very, very hard and some days not bad if her mood is good. Simple fact is it is most always tense because the lines are grayed as to what is whose responsibility. I am not sure what then goal is and have a difficult time talking to my boss about it. Partly, because he knows it happens and it still happening and partly because I don’t want to come across as whining or needy.
Outside of this, I really enjoy the work I do, but since I am writing this post it I guess it is obvious that the work environment gets to me most days.
What would be the best course of action to address this?
communication work-environment stress
asked Nov 5 '15 at 17:08
A J
162
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
3
down vote
favorite
I have been at my job 3 years, a co-worker has been here 19 years.
Lately, a lot of her tasks have been shifted to me and the temper tantrums ensue from her – personal accusations from her, raised voices, slamming doors – a very uncomfortable situation. Some days are very, very hard and some days not bad if her mood is good. Simple fact is it is most always tense because the lines are grayed as to what is whose responsibility. I am not sure what then goal is and have a difficult time talking to my boss about it. Partly, because he knows it happens and it still happening and partly because I don’t want to come across as whining or needy.
Outside of this, I really enjoy the work I do, but since I am writing this post it I guess it is obvious that the work environment gets to me most days.
What would be the best course of action to address this?
communication work-environment stress
asked Nov 5 '15 at 17:08
A J
162
1
Why have the tasks been reassigned? Is she perceiving this as an indication of her low performance and if so, is she right? Also, these outbursts sound very loud and public - how does your boss or anyone else react to this?
– Meelah
Nov 5 '15 at 17:26
From my understanding tasks have been reassigned because this behavior she exhibits has been complained about, as well as when she is out on vacation/leave, now one else knows how to do her job and things have in the past piled up until she returns. As far as how people react - i have never seen my boss react to her outbursts and our other coworkers usually get upset and tread lightly until it passes. I have people coming to my desk apologizing for the way she treats me and I do not like it. I don't want to be pitied, just want it to change.
– A J
Nov 5 '15 at 20:47
To make things slightly more interesting, she is our self-appointed HR rep.
– A J
Nov 5 '15 at 20:48
She might be afraid about losing her job to you.
– Thorbjørn Ravn Andersen
Nov 6 '15 at 0:14
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
3
down vote
favorite
up vote
3
down vote
favorite
I have been at my job 3 years, a co-worker has been here 19 years.
Lately, a lot of her tasks have been shifted to me and the temper tantrums ensue from her – personal accusations from her, raised voices, slamming doors – a very uncomfortable situation. Some days are very, very hard and some days not bad if her mood is good. Simple fact is it is most always tense because the lines are grayed as to what is whose responsibility. I am not sure what then goal is and have a difficult time talking to my boss about it. Partly, because he knows it happens and it still happening and partly because I don’t want to come across as whining or needy.
Outside of this, I really enjoy the work I do, but since I am writing this post it I guess it is obvious that the work environment gets to me most days.
What would be the best course of action to address this?
communication work-environment stress
asked Nov 5 '15 at 17:08
A J
162
I have been at my job 3 years, a co-worker has been here 19 years.
Lately, a lot of her tasks have been shifted to me and the temper tantrums ensue from her – personal accusations from her, raised voices, slamming doors – a very uncomfortable situation. Some days are very, very hard and some days not bad if her mood is good. Simple fact is it is most always tense because the lines are grayed as to what is whose responsibility. I am not sure what then goal is and have a difficult time talking to my boss about it. Partly, because he knows it happens and it still happening and partly because I don’t want to come across as whining or needy.
Outside of this, I really enjoy the work I do, but since I am writing this post it I guess it is obvious that the work environment gets to me most days.
What would be the best course of action to address this?
communication work-environment stress
asked Nov 5 '15 at 17:08
A J
162
asked Nov 5 '15 at 17:08
A J
162
asked Nov 5 '15 at 17:08
A J
162
asked Nov 5 '15 at 17:08
A J
162
162
1
Why have the tasks been reassigned? Is she perceiving this as an indication of her low performance and if so, is she right? Also, these outbursts sound very loud and public - how does your boss or anyone else react to this?
– Meelah
Nov 5 '15 at 17:26
From my understanding tasks have been reassigned because this behavior she exhibits has been complained about, as well as when she is out on vacation/leave, now one else knows how to do her job and things have in the past piled up until she returns. As far as how people react - i have never seen my boss react to her outbursts and our other coworkers usually get upset and tread lightly until it passes. I have people coming to my desk apologizing for the way she treats me and I do not like it. I don't want to be pitied, just want it to change.
– A J
Nov 5 '15 at 20:47
To make things slightly more interesting, she is our self-appointed HR rep.
– A J
Nov 5 '15 at 20:48
She might be afraid about losing her job to you.
– Thorbjørn Ravn Andersen
Nov 6 '15 at 0:14
suggest improvements |Â
1
Why have the tasks been reassigned? Is she perceiving this as an indication of her low performance and if so, is she right? Also, these outbursts sound very loud and public - how does your boss or anyone else react to this?
– Meelah
Nov 5 '15 at 17:26
From my understanding tasks have been reassigned because this behavior she exhibits has been complained about, as well as when she is out on vacation/leave, now one else knows how to do her job and things have in the past piled up until she returns. As far as how people react - i have never seen my boss react to her outbursts and our other coworkers usually get upset and tread lightly until it passes. I have people coming to my desk apologizing for the way she treats me and I do not like it. I don't want to be pitied, just want it to change.
– A J
Nov 5 '15 at 20:47
To make things slightly more interesting, she is our self-appointed HR rep.
– A J
Nov 5 '15 at 20:48
She might be afraid about losing her job to you.
– Thorbjørn Ravn Andersen
Nov 6 '15 at 0:14
1
1
Why have the tasks been reassigned? Is she perceiving this as an indication of her low performance and if so, is she right? Also, these outbursts sound very loud and public - how does your boss or anyone else react to this?
– Meelah
Nov 5 '15 at 17:26
Why have the tasks been reassigned? Is she perceiving this as an indication of her low performance and if so, is she right? Also, these outbursts sound very loud and public - how does your boss or anyone else react to this?
– Meelah
Nov 5 '15 at 17:26
From my understanding tasks have been reassigned because this behavior she exhibits has been complained about, as well as when she is out on vacation/leave, now one else knows how to do her job and things have in the past piled up until she returns. As far as how people react - i have never seen my boss react to her outbursts and our other coworkers usually get upset and tread lightly until it passes. I have people coming to my desk apologizing for the way she treats me and I do not like it. I don't want to be pitied, just want it to change.
– A J
Nov 5 '15 at 20:47
From my understanding tasks have been reassigned because this behavior she exhibits has been complained about, as well as when she is out on vacation/leave, now one else knows how to do her job and things have in the past piled up until she returns. As far as how people react - i have never seen my boss react to her outbursts and our other coworkers usually get upset and tread lightly until it passes. I have people coming to my desk apologizing for the way she treats me and I do not like it. I don't want to be pitied, just want it to change.
– A J
Nov 5 '15 at 20:47
To make things slightly more interesting, she is our self-appointed HR rep.
– A J
Nov 5 '15 at 20:48
To make things slightly more interesting, she is our self-appointed HR rep.
– A J
Nov 5 '15 at 20:48
She might be afraid about losing her job to you.
– Thorbjørn Ravn Andersen
Nov 6 '15 at 0:14
She might be afraid about losing her job to you.
– Thorbjørn Ravn Andersen
Nov 6 '15 at 0:14
suggest improvements |Â
4 Answers
4
active
oldest
votes
up vote
7
down vote
A few of the important aspects of a manager's job include:
- Ensuring that the employees know exactly what their responsibilities and duties are.
- Ensuring the work environment is actually conducive to getting work down.
Sounds like your manager is failing badly. I would NOT try and discuss this directly with the tantrum thrower. You aren't going to get anywhere with them. What you should do is go to your direct manager, close the door and sit down with them. From there you need to present the situation and ask how this should be resolved.
Something like "Hey [boss], this situation is really not working for me. Between [tantrum thrower]'s attitude and the blurred responsibilities I'm not exactly sure what it is you expect of me. What is the game plan for fixing this?"
Don't leave that office until you have some clear and satisfactory answers. Make sure they understand that the current environment isn't acceptable. As you know, this is an unhealthy work environment and the manager needs to get it under control before he loses both of you.
answered Nov 5 '15 at 18:21
NotMe
20.9k55695
1
I like the addressing it by stating what the current situation is and then asking how we can fix it. My boss likes us to come to him with problems and possible solutions - but I think this is a situation where he may need to provide the solutions - do you agree with that? Or should i go in with ideas??
– A J
Nov 5 '15 at 20:50
3
I think this is an area where the problems are beyond your pay grade. It's more of a "Hey Boss, this is a managerial problem".
– NotMe
Nov 5 '15 at 21:03
I agree. Your boss really needs to have a talk with your coworker and tell her that her behavior is not professional or acceptable.
– David K
Nov 6 '15 at 13:22
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
3
down vote
Although this question may be closed as off-topic (asking for advice), this is a serious situation that you'll want to take active steps to resolve. It seems to me that you are experiencing workplace harassment from your co-worker.
What you describe is far beyond the norms of acceptable workplace behavior, which says to me that your co-worker is not a reasonable person to negotiate with. Likely the person will use your attempts at peacemaking against you, so I would not engage at all with your co-worker, except when necessary for business reasons, and in a calm, professional manner.
First, although you find it hard to speak with your boss about this, you need to have a direct conversation. Review past scenarios and ask specifically what you should do if the same scenario happens again, whether it's finding out where responsibility lies, or dealing with your co-worker's harassment.
Make it clear to your boss that this is affecting your work. It may be, based on your description, that your co-worker is on the way to termination, but you shouldn't have to sit there powerless until that day comes.
If your boss does not resolve the situation for you, you may need to have an informal conversation with someone in HR to see what the next steps should be.
answered Nov 5 '15 at 17:24
mcknz
15.6k55468
I agree - it is not ok - ever. It has been going on for so long that it seems to be part of the job for so many people here. I do need to overcome this weird 'fear' I have of talking to him.
– A J
Nov 5 '15 at 20:52
"Likely the person will use your attempts at peacemaking against you, so I would not engage at all with your co-worker". If the person were to do this, would he not be hurting himself and his reputation more...if not risking dismissal? So why would he do it..?
– Anthony
Nov 6 '15 at 0:23
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
2
down vote
I'd try talking to your colleague first, and see if things can be improved by simply explaining how you feel and seeing her response. Maybe she's unhappy with something you did or do, or she might be going through a personal rough time, and she might even apologise to you. Perhaps she feels it's wrong you are replacing her in some tasks.
If this doesn't work at all, I'd talk to your boss about it. Because of the context you provide, you have been there for 3 years and you haven't mentioned situations in which you have previously complained. Therefore, raising a problem or situation which makes you feel uncomfortable at work, shouldn't be seen as "needy", especially if you first tried to solve it yourself in a mature way.
It's your boss' job (as a manager, I assume), to help you and other employees deal with these kind of issues. You should also suggest that defining the roles and responsibilities in a clearer way might help.
If you don't get any positive responses from these two actions, you should take it to HR.
answered Nov 5 '15 at 17:26
Charmander
2,51121024
good feedback - thank you.
– A J
Nov 5 '15 at 20:49
@AJ, I hope it helps. Let us know how it goes :)
– Charmander
Nov 5 '15 at 20:52
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
0
down vote
Just ignore her outbursts and do your work cheerfully. Letting other peoples tantrums upset you is unproductive and unhealthy and leads to all sorts of complications. She's been there 19 years so she must be doing something right.
I find ignoring unprofessionalism and being invariably cheerful disarms these sorts of attacks. So long as I keep my back covered workwise and don't bite the bait it usually sorts itself out.
answered Nov 6 '15 at 3:53
Kilisi
94.7k50216376
This is my daily mantra. I don't react to others reactions. It works for me. I think if things get to bothering me so much that I find not reacting hard to do, I will job shop. I really like my job - that would kind of be a bummer.
– A J
Nov 6 '15 at 16:13
Update - Thank you to everyone for replying - it is much appreciated!! I did speak with my boss this morning about the grayed work areas and he said he is happy with things the way they are because everything is getting done and he has too much else going on right now to be worried about it. Regarding the behavior, i did not speak to him about it as he is fully aware already and his almost dismissal of clearly defining responsibilities made me re-think broaching the subject. But I did make it clear that I cannot meet goals we had previously set given the current personnel situation.
– A J
Nov 6 '15 at 16:20
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4 Answers
4
active
oldest
votes
4 Answers
4
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
up vote
7
down vote
A few of the important aspects of a manager's job include:
- Ensuring that the employees know exactly what their responsibilities and duties are.
- Ensuring the work environment is actually conducive to getting work down.
Sounds like your manager is failing badly. I would NOT try and discuss this directly with the tantrum thrower. You aren't going to get anywhere with them. What you should do is go to your direct manager, close the door and sit down with them. From there you need to present the situation and ask how this should be resolved.
Something like "Hey [boss], this situation is really not working for me. Between [tantrum thrower]'s attitude and the blurred responsibilities I'm not exactly sure what it is you expect of me. What is the game plan for fixing this?"
Don't leave that office until you have some clear and satisfactory answers. Make sure they understand that the current environment isn't acceptable. As you know, this is an unhealthy work environment and the manager needs to get it under control before he loses both of you.
answered Nov 5 '15 at 18:21
NotMe
20.9k55695
1
I like the addressing it by stating what the current situation is and then asking how we can fix it. My boss likes us to come to him with problems and possible solutions - but I think this is a situation where he may need to provide the solutions - do you agree with that? Or should i go in with ideas??
– A J
Nov 5 '15 at 20:50
3
I think this is an area where the problems are beyond your pay grade. It's more of a "Hey Boss, this is a managerial problem".
– NotMe
Nov 5 '15 at 21:03
I agree. Your boss really needs to have a talk with your coworker and tell her that her behavior is not professional or acceptable.
– David K
Nov 6 '15 at 13:22
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
7
down vote
A few of the important aspects of a manager's job include:
- Ensuring that the employees know exactly what their responsibilities and duties are.
- Ensuring the work environment is actually conducive to getting work down.
Sounds like your manager is failing badly. I would NOT try and discuss this directly with the tantrum thrower. You aren't going to get anywhere with them. What you should do is go to your direct manager, close the door and sit down with them. From there you need to present the situation and ask how this should be resolved.
Something like "Hey [boss], this situation is really not working for me. Between [tantrum thrower]'s attitude and the blurred responsibilities I'm not exactly sure what it is you expect of me. What is the game plan for fixing this?"
Don't leave that office until you have some clear and satisfactory answers. Make sure they understand that the current environment isn't acceptable. As you know, this is an unhealthy work environment and the manager needs to get it under control before he loses both of you.
answered Nov 5 '15 at 18:21
NotMe
20.9k55695
1
I like the addressing it by stating what the current situation is and then asking how we can fix it. My boss likes us to come to him with problems and possible solutions - but I think this is a situation where he may need to provide the solutions - do you agree with that? Or should i go in with ideas??
– A J
Nov 5 '15 at 20:50
3
I think this is an area where the problems are beyond your pay grade. It's more of a "Hey Boss, this is a managerial problem".
– NotMe
Nov 5 '15 at 21:03
I agree. Your boss really needs to have a talk with your coworker and tell her that her behavior is not professional or acceptable.
– David K
Nov 6 '15 at 13:22
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
7
down vote
up vote
7
down vote
A few of the important aspects of a manager's job include:
- Ensuring that the employees know exactly what their responsibilities and duties are.
- Ensuring the work environment is actually conducive to getting work down.
Sounds like your manager is failing badly. I would NOT try and discuss this directly with the tantrum thrower. You aren't going to get anywhere with them. What you should do is go to your direct manager, close the door and sit down with them. From there you need to present the situation and ask how this should be resolved.
Something like "Hey [boss], this situation is really not working for me. Between [tantrum thrower]'s attitude and the blurred responsibilities I'm not exactly sure what it is you expect of me. What is the game plan for fixing this?"
Don't leave that office until you have some clear and satisfactory answers. Make sure they understand that the current environment isn't acceptable. As you know, this is an unhealthy work environment and the manager needs to get it under control before he loses both of you.
answered Nov 5 '15 at 18:21
NotMe
20.9k55695
A few of the important aspects of a manager's job include:
- Ensuring that the employees know exactly what their responsibilities and duties are.
- Ensuring the work environment is actually conducive to getting work down.
Sounds like your manager is failing badly. I would NOT try and discuss this directly with the tantrum thrower. You aren't going to get anywhere with them. What you should do is go to your direct manager, close the door and sit down with them. From there you need to present the situation and ask how this should be resolved.
Something like "Hey [boss], this situation is really not working for me. Between [tantrum thrower]'s attitude and the blurred responsibilities I'm not exactly sure what it is you expect of me. What is the game plan for fixing this?"
Don't leave that office until you have some clear and satisfactory answers. Make sure they understand that the current environment isn't acceptable. As you know, this is an unhealthy work environment and the manager needs to get it under control before he loses both of you.
answered Nov 5 '15 at 18:21
NotMe
20.9k55695
answered Nov 5 '15 at 18:21
NotMe
20.9k55695
answered Nov 5 '15 at 18:21
NotMe
20.9k55695
answered Nov 5 '15 at 18:21
NotMe
20.9k55695
20.9k55695
1
I like the addressing it by stating what the current situation is and then asking how we can fix it. My boss likes us to come to him with problems and possible solutions - but I think this is a situation where he may need to provide the solutions - do you agree with that? Or should i go in with ideas??
– A J
Nov 5 '15 at 20:50
3
I think this is an area where the problems are beyond your pay grade. It's more of a "Hey Boss, this is a managerial problem".
– NotMe
Nov 5 '15 at 21:03
I agree. Your boss really needs to have a talk with your coworker and tell her that her behavior is not professional or acceptable.
– David K
Nov 6 '15 at 13:22
suggest improvements |Â
1
I like the addressing it by stating what the current situation is and then asking how we can fix it. My boss likes us to come to him with problems and possible solutions - but I think this is a situation where he may need to provide the solutions - do you agree with that? Or should i go in with ideas??
– A J
Nov 5 '15 at 20:50
3
I think this is an area where the problems are beyond your pay grade. It's more of a "Hey Boss, this is a managerial problem".
– NotMe
Nov 5 '15 at 21:03
I agree. Your boss really needs to have a talk with your coworker and tell her that her behavior is not professional or acceptable.
– David K
Nov 6 '15 at 13:22
1
1
I like the addressing it by stating what the current situation is and then asking how we can fix it. My boss likes us to come to him with problems and possible solutions - but I think this is a situation where he may need to provide the solutions - do you agree with that? Or should i go in with ideas??
– A J
Nov 5 '15 at 20:50
I like the addressing it by stating what the current situation is and then asking how we can fix it. My boss likes us to come to him with problems and possible solutions - but I think this is a situation where he may need to provide the solutions - do you agree with that? Or should i go in with ideas??
– A J
Nov 5 '15 at 20:50
3
3
I think this is an area where the problems are beyond your pay grade. It's more of a "Hey Boss, this is a managerial problem".
– NotMe
Nov 5 '15 at 21:03
I think this is an area where the problems are beyond your pay grade. It's more of a "Hey Boss, this is a managerial problem".
– NotMe
Nov 5 '15 at 21:03
I agree. Your boss really needs to have a talk with your coworker and tell her that her behavior is not professional or acceptable.
– David K
Nov 6 '15 at 13:22
I agree. Your boss really needs to have a talk with your coworker and tell her that her behavior is not professional or acceptable.
– David K
Nov 6 '15 at 13:22
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
3
down vote
Although this question may be closed as off-topic (asking for advice), this is a serious situation that you'll want to take active steps to resolve. It seems to me that you are experiencing workplace harassment from your co-worker.
What you describe is far beyond the norms of acceptable workplace behavior, which says to me that your co-worker is not a reasonable person to negotiate with. Likely the person will use your attempts at peacemaking against you, so I would not engage at all with your co-worker, except when necessary for business reasons, and in a calm, professional manner.
First, although you find it hard to speak with your boss about this, you need to have a direct conversation. Review past scenarios and ask specifically what you should do if the same scenario happens again, whether it's finding out where responsibility lies, or dealing with your co-worker's harassment.
Make it clear to your boss that this is affecting your work. It may be, based on your description, that your co-worker is on the way to termination, but you shouldn't have to sit there powerless until that day comes.
If your boss does not resolve the situation for you, you may need to have an informal conversation with someone in HR to see what the next steps should be.
answered Nov 5 '15 at 17:24
mcknz
15.6k55468
I agree - it is not ok - ever. It has been going on for so long that it seems to be part of the job for so many people here. I do need to overcome this weird 'fear' I have of talking to him.
– A J
Nov 5 '15 at 20:52
"Likely the person will use your attempts at peacemaking against you, so I would not engage at all with your co-worker". If the person were to do this, would he not be hurting himself and his reputation more...if not risking dismissal? So why would he do it..?
– Anthony
Nov 6 '15 at 0:23
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
3
down vote
Although this question may be closed as off-topic (asking for advice), this is a serious situation that you'll want to take active steps to resolve. It seems to me that you are experiencing workplace harassment from your co-worker.
What you describe is far beyond the norms of acceptable workplace behavior, which says to me that your co-worker is not a reasonable person to negotiate with. Likely the person will use your attempts at peacemaking against you, so I would not engage at all with your co-worker, except when necessary for business reasons, and in a calm, professional manner.
First, although you find it hard to speak with your boss about this, you need to have a direct conversation. Review past scenarios and ask specifically what you should do if the same scenario happens again, whether it's finding out where responsibility lies, or dealing with your co-worker's harassment.
Make it clear to your boss that this is affecting your work. It may be, based on your description, that your co-worker is on the way to termination, but you shouldn't have to sit there powerless until that day comes.
If your boss does not resolve the situation for you, you may need to have an informal conversation with someone in HR to see what the next steps should be.
answered Nov 5 '15 at 17:24
mcknz
15.6k55468
I agree - it is not ok - ever. It has been going on for so long that it seems to be part of the job for so many people here. I do need to overcome this weird 'fear' I have of talking to him.
– A J
Nov 5 '15 at 20:52
"Likely the person will use your attempts at peacemaking against you, so I would not engage at all with your co-worker". If the person were to do this, would he not be hurting himself and his reputation more...if not risking dismissal? So why would he do it..?
– Anthony
Nov 6 '15 at 0:23
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
3
down vote
up vote
3
down vote
Although this question may be closed as off-topic (asking for advice), this is a serious situation that you'll want to take active steps to resolve. It seems to me that you are experiencing workplace harassment from your co-worker.
What you describe is far beyond the norms of acceptable workplace behavior, which says to me that your co-worker is not a reasonable person to negotiate with. Likely the person will use your attempts at peacemaking against you, so I would not engage at all with your co-worker, except when necessary for business reasons, and in a calm, professional manner.
First, although you find it hard to speak with your boss about this, you need to have a direct conversation. Review past scenarios and ask specifically what you should do if the same scenario happens again, whether it's finding out where responsibility lies, or dealing with your co-worker's harassment.
Make it clear to your boss that this is affecting your work. It may be, based on your description, that your co-worker is on the way to termination, but you shouldn't have to sit there powerless until that day comes.
If your boss does not resolve the situation for you, you may need to have an informal conversation with someone in HR to see what the next steps should be.
answered Nov 5 '15 at 17:24
mcknz
15.6k55468
Although this question may be closed as off-topic (asking for advice), this is a serious situation that you'll want to take active steps to resolve. It seems to me that you are experiencing workplace harassment from your co-worker.
What you describe is far beyond the norms of acceptable workplace behavior, which says to me that your co-worker is not a reasonable person to negotiate with. Likely the person will use your attempts at peacemaking against you, so I would not engage at all with your co-worker, except when necessary for business reasons, and in a calm, professional manner.
First, although you find it hard to speak with your boss about this, you need to have a direct conversation. Review past scenarios and ask specifically what you should do if the same scenario happens again, whether it's finding out where responsibility lies, or dealing with your co-worker's harassment.
Make it clear to your boss that this is affecting your work. It may be, based on your description, that your co-worker is on the way to termination, but you shouldn't have to sit there powerless until that day comes.
If your boss does not resolve the situation for you, you may need to have an informal conversation with someone in HR to see what the next steps should be.
answered Nov 5 '15 at 17:24
mcknz
15.6k55468
edited Nov 5 '15 at 18:30
answered Nov 5 '15 at 17:24
mcknz
15.6k55468
answered Nov 5 '15 at 17:24
mcknz
15.6k55468
answered Nov 5 '15 at 17:24
mcknz
15.6k55468
15.6k55468
I agree - it is not ok - ever. It has been going on for so long that it seems to be part of the job for so many people here. I do need to overcome this weird 'fear' I have of talking to him.
– A J
Nov 5 '15 at 20:52
"Likely the person will use your attempts at peacemaking against you, so I would not engage at all with your co-worker". If the person were to do this, would he not be hurting himself and his reputation more...if not risking dismissal? So why would he do it..?
– Anthony
Nov 6 '15 at 0:23
suggest improvements |Â
I agree - it is not ok - ever. It has been going on for so long that it seems to be part of the job for so many people here. I do need to overcome this weird 'fear' I have of talking to him.
– A J
Nov 5 '15 at 20:52
"Likely the person will use your attempts at peacemaking against you, so I would not engage at all with your co-worker". If the person were to do this, would he not be hurting himself and his reputation more...if not risking dismissal? So why would he do it..?
– Anthony
Nov 6 '15 at 0:23
I agree - it is not ok - ever. It has been going on for so long that it seems to be part of the job for so many people here. I do need to overcome this weird 'fear' I have of talking to him.
– A J
Nov 5 '15 at 20:52
I agree - it is not ok - ever. It has been going on for so long that it seems to be part of the job for so many people here. I do need to overcome this weird 'fear' I have of talking to him.
– A J
Nov 5 '15 at 20:52
"Likely the person will use your attempts at peacemaking against you, so I would not engage at all with your co-worker". If the person were to do this, would he not be hurting himself and his reputation more...if not risking dismissal? So why would he do it..?
– Anthony
Nov 6 '15 at 0:23
"Likely the person will use your attempts at peacemaking against you, so I would not engage at all with your co-worker". If the person were to do this, would he not be hurting himself and his reputation more...if not risking dismissal? So why would he do it..?
– Anthony
Nov 6 '15 at 0:23
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
2
down vote
I'd try talking to your colleague first, and see if things can be improved by simply explaining how you feel and seeing her response. Maybe she's unhappy with something you did or do, or she might be going through a personal rough time, and she might even apologise to you. Perhaps she feels it's wrong you are replacing her in some tasks.
If this doesn't work at all, I'd talk to your boss about it. Because of the context you provide, you have been there for 3 years and you haven't mentioned situations in which you have previously complained. Therefore, raising a problem or situation which makes you feel uncomfortable at work, shouldn't be seen as "needy", especially if you first tried to solve it yourself in a mature way.
It's your boss' job (as a manager, I assume), to help you and other employees deal with these kind of issues. You should also suggest that defining the roles and responsibilities in a clearer way might help.
If you don't get any positive responses from these two actions, you should take it to HR.
answered Nov 5 '15 at 17:26
Charmander
2,51121024
good feedback - thank you.
– A J
Nov 5 '15 at 20:49
@AJ, I hope it helps. Let us know how it goes :)
– Charmander
Nov 5 '15 at 20:52
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
2
down vote
I'd try talking to your colleague first, and see if things can be improved by simply explaining how you feel and seeing her response. Maybe she's unhappy with something you did or do, or she might be going through a personal rough time, and she might even apologise to you. Perhaps she feels it's wrong you are replacing her in some tasks.
If this doesn't work at all, I'd talk to your boss about it. Because of the context you provide, you have been there for 3 years and you haven't mentioned situations in which you have previously complained. Therefore, raising a problem or situation which makes you feel uncomfortable at work, shouldn't be seen as "needy", especially if you first tried to solve it yourself in a mature way.
It's your boss' job (as a manager, I assume), to help you and other employees deal with these kind of issues. You should also suggest that defining the roles and responsibilities in a clearer way might help.
If you don't get any positive responses from these two actions, you should take it to HR.
answered Nov 5 '15 at 17:26
Charmander
2,51121024
good feedback - thank you.
– A J
Nov 5 '15 at 20:49
@AJ, I hope it helps. Let us know how it goes :)
– Charmander
Nov 5 '15 at 20:52
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
2
down vote
up vote
2
down vote
I'd try talking to your colleague first, and see if things can be improved by simply explaining how you feel and seeing her response. Maybe she's unhappy with something you did or do, or she might be going through a personal rough time, and she might even apologise to you. Perhaps she feels it's wrong you are replacing her in some tasks.
If this doesn't work at all, I'd talk to your boss about it. Because of the context you provide, you have been there for 3 years and you haven't mentioned situations in which you have previously complained. Therefore, raising a problem or situation which makes you feel uncomfortable at work, shouldn't be seen as "needy", especially if you first tried to solve it yourself in a mature way.
It's your boss' job (as a manager, I assume), to help you and other employees deal with these kind of issues. You should also suggest that defining the roles and responsibilities in a clearer way might help.
If you don't get any positive responses from these two actions, you should take it to HR.
answered Nov 5 '15 at 17:26
Charmander
2,51121024
I'd try talking to your colleague first, and see if things can be improved by simply explaining how you feel and seeing her response. Maybe she's unhappy with something you did or do, or she might be going through a personal rough time, and she might even apologise to you. Perhaps she feels it's wrong you are replacing her in some tasks.
If this doesn't work at all, I'd talk to your boss about it. Because of the context you provide, you have been there for 3 years and you haven't mentioned situations in which you have previously complained. Therefore, raising a problem or situation which makes you feel uncomfortable at work, shouldn't be seen as "needy", especially if you first tried to solve it yourself in a mature way.
It's your boss' job (as a manager, I assume), to help you and other employees deal with these kind of issues. You should also suggest that defining the roles and responsibilities in a clearer way might help.
If you don't get any positive responses from these two actions, you should take it to HR.
answered Nov 5 '15 at 17:26
Charmander
2,51121024
answered Nov 5 '15 at 17:26
Charmander
2,51121024
answered Nov 5 '15 at 17:26
Charmander
2,51121024
answered Nov 5 '15 at 17:26
Charmander
2,51121024
2,51121024
good feedback - thank you.
– A J
Nov 5 '15 at 20:49
@AJ, I hope it helps. Let us know how it goes :)
– Charmander
Nov 5 '15 at 20:52
suggest improvements |Â
good feedback - thank you.
– A J
Nov 5 '15 at 20:49
@AJ, I hope it helps. Let us know how it goes :)
– Charmander
Nov 5 '15 at 20:52
good feedback - thank you.
– A J
Nov 5 '15 at 20:49
good feedback - thank you.
– A J
Nov 5 '15 at 20:49
@AJ, I hope it helps. Let us know how it goes :)
– Charmander
Nov 5 '15 at 20:52
@AJ, I hope it helps. Let us know how it goes :)
– Charmander
Nov 5 '15 at 20:52
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
0
down vote
Just ignore her outbursts and do your work cheerfully. Letting other peoples tantrums upset you is unproductive and unhealthy and leads to all sorts of complications. She's been there 19 years so she must be doing something right.
I find ignoring unprofessionalism and being invariably cheerful disarms these sorts of attacks. So long as I keep my back covered workwise and don't bite the bait it usually sorts itself out.
answered Nov 6 '15 at 3:53
Kilisi
94.7k50216376
This is my daily mantra. I don't react to others reactions. It works for me. I think if things get to bothering me so much that I find not reacting hard to do, I will job shop. I really like my job - that would kind of be a bummer.
– A J
Nov 6 '15 at 16:13
Update - Thank you to everyone for replying - it is much appreciated!! I did speak with my boss this morning about the grayed work areas and he said he is happy with things the way they are because everything is getting done and he has too much else going on right now to be worried about it. Regarding the behavior, i did not speak to him about it as he is fully aware already and his almost dismissal of clearly defining responsibilities made me re-think broaching the subject. But I did make it clear that I cannot meet goals we had previously set given the current personnel situation.
– A J
Nov 6 '15 at 16:20
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
0
down vote
Just ignore her outbursts and do your work cheerfully. Letting other peoples tantrums upset you is unproductive and unhealthy and leads to all sorts of complications. She's been there 19 years so she must be doing something right.
I find ignoring unprofessionalism and being invariably cheerful disarms these sorts of attacks. So long as I keep my back covered workwise and don't bite the bait it usually sorts itself out.
answered Nov 6 '15 at 3:53
Kilisi
94.7k50216376
This is my daily mantra. I don't react to others reactions. It works for me. I think if things get to bothering me so much that I find not reacting hard to do, I will job shop. I really like my job - that would kind of be a bummer.
– A J
Nov 6 '15 at 16:13
Update - Thank you to everyone for replying - it is much appreciated!! I did speak with my boss this morning about the grayed work areas and he said he is happy with things the way they are because everything is getting done and he has too much else going on right now to be worried about it. Regarding the behavior, i did not speak to him about it as he is fully aware already and his almost dismissal of clearly defining responsibilities made me re-think broaching the subject. But I did make it clear that I cannot meet goals we had previously set given the current personnel situation.
– A J
Nov 6 '15 at 16:20
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
0
down vote
up vote
0
down vote
Just ignore her outbursts and do your work cheerfully. Letting other peoples tantrums upset you is unproductive and unhealthy and leads to all sorts of complications. She's been there 19 years so she must be doing something right.
I find ignoring unprofessionalism and being invariably cheerful disarms these sorts of attacks. So long as I keep my back covered workwise and don't bite the bait it usually sorts itself out.
answered Nov 6 '15 at 3:53
Kilisi
94.7k50216376
Just ignore her outbursts and do your work cheerfully. Letting other peoples tantrums upset you is unproductive and unhealthy and leads to all sorts of complications. She's been there 19 years so she must be doing something right.
I find ignoring unprofessionalism and being invariably cheerful disarms these sorts of attacks. So long as I keep my back covered workwise and don't bite the bait it usually sorts itself out.
answered Nov 6 '15 at 3:53
Kilisi
94.7k50216376
answered Nov 6 '15 at 3:53
Kilisi
94.7k50216376
answered Nov 6 '15 at 3:53
Kilisi
94.7k50216376
answered Nov 6 '15 at 3:53
Kilisi
94.7k50216376
94.7k50216376
This is my daily mantra. I don't react to others reactions. It works for me. I think if things get to bothering me so much that I find not reacting hard to do, I will job shop. I really like my job - that would kind of be a bummer.
– A J
Nov 6 '15 at 16:13
Update - Thank you to everyone for replying - it is much appreciated!! I did speak with my boss this morning about the grayed work areas and he said he is happy with things the way they are because everything is getting done and he has too much else going on right now to be worried about it. Regarding the behavior, i did not speak to him about it as he is fully aware already and his almost dismissal of clearly defining responsibilities made me re-think broaching the subject. But I did make it clear that I cannot meet goals we had previously set given the current personnel situation.
– A J
Nov 6 '15 at 16:20
suggest improvements |Â
This is my daily mantra. I don't react to others reactions. It works for me. I think if things get to bothering me so much that I find not reacting hard to do, I will job shop. I really like my job - that would kind of be a bummer.
– A J
Nov 6 '15 at 16:13
Update - Thank you to everyone for replying - it is much appreciated!! I did speak with my boss this morning about the grayed work areas and he said he is happy with things the way they are because everything is getting done and he has too much else going on right now to be worried about it. Regarding the behavior, i did not speak to him about it as he is fully aware already and his almost dismissal of clearly defining responsibilities made me re-think broaching the subject. But I did make it clear that I cannot meet goals we had previously set given the current personnel situation.
– A J
Nov 6 '15 at 16:20
This is my daily mantra. I don't react to others reactions. It works for me. I think if things get to bothering me so much that I find not reacting hard to do, I will job shop. I really like my job - that would kind of be a bummer.
– A J
Nov 6 '15 at 16:13
This is my daily mantra. I don't react to others reactions. It works for me. I think if things get to bothering me so much that I find not reacting hard to do, I will job shop. I really like my job - that would kind of be a bummer.
– A J
Nov 6 '15 at 16:13
Update - Thank you to everyone for replying - it is much appreciated!! I did speak with my boss this morning about the grayed work areas and he said he is happy with things the way they are because everything is getting done and he has too much else going on right now to be worried about it. Regarding the behavior, i did not speak to him about it as he is fully aware already and his almost dismissal of clearly defining responsibilities made me re-think broaching the subject. But I did make it clear that I cannot meet goals we had previously set given the current personnel situation.
– A J
Nov 6 '15 at 16:20
Update - Thank you to everyone for replying - it is much appreciated!! I did speak with my boss this morning about the grayed work areas and he said he is happy with things the way they are because everything is getting done and he has too much else going on right now to be worried about it. Regarding the behavior, i did not speak to him about it as he is fully aware already and his almost dismissal of clearly defining responsibilities made me re-think broaching the subject. But I did make it clear that I cannot meet goals we had previously set given the current personnel situation.
– A J
Nov 6 '15 at 16:20
suggest improvements |Â
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1
Why have the tasks been reassigned? Is she perceiving this as an indication of her low performance and if so, is she right? Also, these outbursts sound very loud and public - how does your boss or anyone else react to this?
– Meelah
Nov 5 '15 at 17:26
From my understanding tasks have been reassigned because this behavior she exhibits has been complained about, as well as when she is out on vacation/leave, now one else knows how to do her job and things have in the past piled up until she returns. As far as how people react - i have never seen my boss react to her outbursts and our other coworkers usually get upset and tread lightly until it passes. I have people coming to my desk apologizing for the way she treats me and I do not like it. I don't want to be pitied, just want it to change.
– A J
Nov 5 '15 at 20:47
To make things slightly more interesting, she is our self-appointed HR rep.
– A J
Nov 5 '15 at 20:48
She might be afraid about losing her job to you.
– Thorbjørn Ravn Andersen
Nov 6 '15 at 0:14