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Is it appropriate to warn my coworker of our boss's dissatisfaction?
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I work as a software engineer and during a recent meeting my boss mentioned offhand that if one of my coworkers (not present) didn't start making some progress on the project we are working on, that he would need to have a 'talk' with her.
I don't believe that her job is in jeopardy, but I can remember when I was new, and a friendly heads-up from a coworker that my boss was dissatisfied with my performance would have been nice.
She is still very new, and she is having some trouble getting up to speed. I would like to advise her that all our boss is looking for is that she should make more of an effort to at least try to make some progress despite not knowing exactly how to proceed, instead of just doing training all day everyday.
My boss is also her boss.
Would it be appropriate to tell her this?
professionalism communication colleagues
edited Dec 9 '15 at 18:39
Elysian Fields♦
96.7k46292449
asked Dec 9 '15 at 18:27
AlexD
336
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
6
down vote
favorite
I work as a software engineer and during a recent meeting my boss mentioned offhand that if one of my coworkers (not present) didn't start making some progress on the project we are working on, that he would need to have a 'talk' with her.
I don't believe that her job is in jeopardy, but I can remember when I was new, and a friendly heads-up from a coworker that my boss was dissatisfied with my performance would have been nice.
She is still very new, and she is having some trouble getting up to speed. I would like to advise her that all our boss is looking for is that she should make more of an effort to at least try to make some progress despite not knowing exactly how to proceed, instead of just doing training all day everyday.
My boss is also her boss.
Would it be appropriate to tell her this?
professionalism communication colleagues
edited Dec 9 '15 at 18:39
Elysian Fields♦
96.7k46292449
asked Dec 9 '15 at 18:27
AlexD
336
3
Ha. In two of my first jobs, I had bosses who were like yours and wondered when I was going to stop poring over the documentation and get to work. When I did get to work, I literally worked myself out of both jobs. Sometimes that time is well spent, and there are some people who are actually not able to do a job until they fully understand it. I personally don't understand how people do work with just a sketchy understanding of what's going on, but that's just me.
– Amy Blankenship
Dec 9 '15 at 18:35
Firstly, do you have confidence that she'll be able to do her job? And secondly, are you on friendly terms with her?
– Dan
Dec 9 '15 at 18:55
7
It sounds entirely inappropriate for your manager to be discussing the performance and disciplinary steps (of which a verbal warning is usually the first!) with anyone, much less a subordinate who is a peer of the under-performing individual.
– corsiKa
Dec 9 '15 at 21:21
I wonder if the boss was giving the OP a roundabout warning that their own performance is lacking?
– Kilisi
Dec 10 '15 at 22:23
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
6
down vote
favorite
up vote
6
down vote
favorite
I work as a software engineer and during a recent meeting my boss mentioned offhand that if one of my coworkers (not present) didn't start making some progress on the project we are working on, that he would need to have a 'talk' with her.
I don't believe that her job is in jeopardy, but I can remember when I was new, and a friendly heads-up from a coworker that my boss was dissatisfied with my performance would have been nice.
She is still very new, and she is having some trouble getting up to speed. I would like to advise her that all our boss is looking for is that she should make more of an effort to at least try to make some progress despite not knowing exactly how to proceed, instead of just doing training all day everyday.
My boss is also her boss.
Would it be appropriate to tell her this?
professionalism communication colleagues
edited Dec 9 '15 at 18:39
Elysian Fields♦
96.7k46292449
asked Dec 9 '15 at 18:27
AlexD
336
I work as a software engineer and during a recent meeting my boss mentioned offhand that if one of my coworkers (not present) didn't start making some progress on the project we are working on, that he would need to have a 'talk' with her.
I don't believe that her job is in jeopardy, but I can remember when I was new, and a friendly heads-up from a coworker that my boss was dissatisfied with my performance would have been nice.
She is still very new, and she is having some trouble getting up to speed. I would like to advise her that all our boss is looking for is that she should make more of an effort to at least try to make some progress despite not knowing exactly how to proceed, instead of just doing training all day everyday.
My boss is also her boss.
Would it be appropriate to tell her this?
professionalism communication colleagues
edited Dec 9 '15 at 18:39
Elysian Fields♦
96.7k46292449
asked Dec 9 '15 at 18:27
AlexD
336
edited Dec 9 '15 at 18:39
Elysian Fields♦
96.7k46292449
edited Dec 9 '15 at 18:39
Elysian Fields♦
96.7k46292449
edited Dec 9 '15 at 18:39
Elysian Fields♦
96.7k46292449
96.7k46292449
asked Dec 9 '15 at 18:27
AlexD
336
asked Dec 9 '15 at 18:27
AlexD
336
asked Dec 9 '15 at 18:27
AlexD
336
336
3
Ha. In two of my first jobs, I had bosses who were like yours and wondered when I was going to stop poring over the documentation and get to work. When I did get to work, I literally worked myself out of both jobs. Sometimes that time is well spent, and there are some people who are actually not able to do a job until they fully understand it. I personally don't understand how people do work with just a sketchy understanding of what's going on, but that's just me.
– Amy Blankenship
Dec 9 '15 at 18:35
Firstly, do you have confidence that she'll be able to do her job? And secondly, are you on friendly terms with her?
– Dan
Dec 9 '15 at 18:55
7
It sounds entirely inappropriate for your manager to be discussing the performance and disciplinary steps (of which a verbal warning is usually the first!) with anyone, much less a subordinate who is a peer of the under-performing individual.
– corsiKa
Dec 9 '15 at 21:21
I wonder if the boss was giving the OP a roundabout warning that their own performance is lacking?
– Kilisi
Dec 10 '15 at 22:23
suggest improvements |Â
3
Ha. In two of my first jobs, I had bosses who were like yours and wondered when I was going to stop poring over the documentation and get to work. When I did get to work, I literally worked myself out of both jobs. Sometimes that time is well spent, and there are some people who are actually not able to do a job until they fully understand it. I personally don't understand how people do work with just a sketchy understanding of what's going on, but that's just me.
– Amy Blankenship
Dec 9 '15 at 18:35
Firstly, do you have confidence that she'll be able to do her job? And secondly, are you on friendly terms with her?
– Dan
Dec 9 '15 at 18:55
7
It sounds entirely inappropriate for your manager to be discussing the performance and disciplinary steps (of which a verbal warning is usually the first!) with anyone, much less a subordinate who is a peer of the under-performing individual.
– corsiKa
Dec 9 '15 at 21:21
I wonder if the boss was giving the OP a roundabout warning that their own performance is lacking?
– Kilisi
Dec 10 '15 at 22:23
3
3
Ha. In two of my first jobs, I had bosses who were like yours and wondered when I was going to stop poring over the documentation and get to work. When I did get to work, I literally worked myself out of both jobs. Sometimes that time is well spent, and there are some people who are actually not able to do a job until they fully understand it. I personally don't understand how people do work with just a sketchy understanding of what's going on, but that's just me.
– Amy Blankenship
Dec 9 '15 at 18:35
Ha. In two of my first jobs, I had bosses who were like yours and wondered when I was going to stop poring over the documentation and get to work. When I did get to work, I literally worked myself out of both jobs. Sometimes that time is well spent, and there are some people who are actually not able to do a job until they fully understand it. I personally don't understand how people do work with just a sketchy understanding of what's going on, but that's just me.
– Amy Blankenship
Dec 9 '15 at 18:35
Firstly, do you have confidence that she'll be able to do her job? And secondly, are you on friendly terms with her?
– Dan
Dec 9 '15 at 18:55
Firstly, do you have confidence that she'll be able to do her job? And secondly, are you on friendly terms with her?
– Dan
Dec 9 '15 at 18:55
7
7
It sounds entirely inappropriate for your manager to be discussing the performance and disciplinary steps (of which a verbal warning is usually the first!) with anyone, much less a subordinate who is a peer of the under-performing individual.
– corsiKa
Dec 9 '15 at 21:21
It sounds entirely inappropriate for your manager to be discussing the performance and disciplinary steps (of which a verbal warning is usually the first!) with anyone, much less a subordinate who is a peer of the under-performing individual.
– corsiKa
Dec 9 '15 at 21:21
I wonder if the boss was giving the OP a roundabout warning that their own performance is lacking?
– Kilisi
Dec 10 '15 at 22:23
I wonder if the boss was giving the OP a roundabout warning that their own performance is lacking?
– Kilisi
Dec 10 '15 at 22:23
suggest improvements |Â
6 Answers
6
active
oldest
votes
up vote
11
down vote
accepted
Yes, I'd see this as appropriate to pass along. I would suggest focusing more on results than time here as the boss is likely looking more for results than just time spent on something. Some tasks could be done in 2 hours or 200 hours depending on how nit picky one wants to get and thus I'd look more on progress and checking things off of a to do list here.
answered Dec 9 '15 at 18:47
JB King
15.1k22957
3
Sometimes a boss will try to light a fire under someone by indirect means. I'm not saying it's a good way of handling things, but I've seen it before. I agree - pass the info along.
– NotMe
Dec 9 '15 at 20:19
Upvoted, as I did the warning once myself, but the result was, errrrm, non-existant. So don't expect miracles. But maybe it can have positive results. At worse, your warning will have been useless. So nothing lost.
– gazzz0x2z
Dec 10 '15 at 9:05
Thank you, everyone, for your input. While other responses were indeed helpful, I believe that this is my answer. Something that I should have considered more was how I could help my coworker, instead of just warn her. She is part of my team and someone who I will eventually be collaborating with on projects, and this discussion has made me realize that there is more I could be doing to help a struggling coworker.
– AlexD
Dec 10 '15 at 15:16
I would help out a colleague and give them a heads up, but I'd also be incredibly cautious on how I word it. It may seem like you're interfering unnecessarily, and passing off your own judgement as your bosses. Keep it amicable.
– Joe
Dec 10 '15 at 21:02
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up vote
7
down vote
I know you want to be helpful, but be careful that you don't get caught in the middle. If you bring up her lack of performance, and then the boss "talks" to her about it, she may think you were the one who complained.
However, if you absolutely feel like you want to help, you might ask her to sit down with you to discuss how the project is going, and gently guide her toward what you know of the boss's expectations. Try to use neutral language (instead of "you should do this" explain that "Normally, what the bosses like to see is...") Since you are both working on the same project, help her to see that you want to help your teammates succeed, because it is a win for both of you.
answered Dec 9 '15 at 18:49
Francine DeGrood Taylor
3,075713
Sounds iike mansplaining already. Be careful not to confuse "circuitous and condescending" with "neutral." "Continue working with your colleague to do a good job" would be more neutral advice to give.
– user42272
Dec 10 '15 at 2:04
2
@djechlin not that it's any kind of conclusive evidence, but you do know 'Francine' is a female given name, right?
– AakashM
Dec 10 '15 at 8:39
@djechlin: the problem with the advice "Continue working with your colleague to do a good job" is that the colleague is not currently doing a good job.
– Josef K
Dec 10 '15 at 12:06
@AakashM what's your point?
– user42272
Dec 10 '15 at 13:37
1
@MarkBannister which does not make her your mentee.
– user42272
Dec 10 '15 at 13:38
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First, it is your manager's job to manage - so be careful that you are not crossing that line.
A "friendly heads-up" that a boss is about to "talk" to a stressed and anxious co-worker is likely not going to be productive. If you think being direct with your colleague is acceptable and will lead to a productive, "how can I do better at my job?" type conversation, then you might mention it.
Your boss may have mentioned it casually, but also maybe is interested in seeing if your team can work as a team when someone is struggling. Just be cautious in your approach - suggesting better training materials, asking about progress on related work or sharing tips with her may help without distracting her with increased anxiety.
Conversely, some people spend all day doing training because they really don't know what to do. They are best suited for another job and/or with another company and you are wasting your time with a person like that. While someone commented that spending time on training materials allowed them to grow out of their job rapidly, that is not beneficial to the employer or the team, however much it may have helped the individual. That is also not likely to benefit you much.
answered Dec 9 '15 at 18:49
Jim
4,495623
It did benefit the employer. The work was done, so in the first case they didn't need me to work so many hours (so it wasn't sustainable for me to stay, but it was cheaper in the short run for the employer). In the second case, it was a finite amount of work that they had contracted to do, so they got a bargain when I finished early.
– Amy Blankenship
Dec 9 '15 at 19:03
you are describing "performing a job" which includes acquiring information needed to get it done - not necessarily "working yourself out of a job" which seems to imply that your acquisition of skills prepared you for a future job at the expense of your current one. Your additional comment sounds like you did excellent work - I was cautioning the OP against trying to help someone that, intentionally or not, is really training themselves for another job.
– Jim
Dec 9 '15 at 19:31
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1
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The fact that your boss said this in front of you could be seen as an implicit indication for you to pass this info along to your coworker, particularly since you have more experience and could potentially provide some mentoring in this area.
What to do next will depend in large part upon your working relationship with this female coworker. If you and she have a good working relationship, that's a good sign. If you are a Tech Lead or even informally mentor this coworker, that's an even better sign. However, only you know best how she would respond to any information you brought to her. I have worked with people over the years whom I would NEVER bring up this information with them because they would not react or respond well to it.
If you feel that you are in a position to bring this up to her, and that she would react positively to it, then yes I think you should bring it to her attention. Have an informal one on one conversation with her. Tell her what the boss said and try to give some context. You don't want her to panic, and this kind of news can make people panicky. I would suggest if you're willing to bring this up to her, then you should be prepared to help if at all possible. A little guidance and a few answered questions might be all that's needed.
answered Dec 10 '15 at 20:58
Kennah
1,783314
Basing a course of action on an could be seen as an implicit indication interpretation is a bit strange. The proper thing to do would be to verify this interpretation with the boss: "Are you saying this to me because you want me to address this?"
– Jan Doggen
Dec 11 '15 at 14:57
BTW If this was not the bosses intent, he was actually gossiping (complaining about X to Y). Not that the OP can lecture him on that...
– Jan Doggen
Dec 11 '15 at 14:58
@JanDoggen human behavior is never an exact science. Over the years, particularly doing consulting and contract work, I've found it essential to rely more upon intuition and less upon direct communication. People are generally really bad at direct communication.
– Kennah
Dec 11 '15 at 16:46
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up vote
0
down vote
It's not your problem, and it's not your place to lecture your colleague on performance. So don't. Simple as that.
answered Dec 10 '15 at 1:10
Kilisi
94.7k50216376
1
People often don't communicate directly, including leaders. This kind of indirect communication should not be ignored.
– Kennah
Dec 10 '15 at 21:00
@Kennah So... what does that mean? You have to read minds all the time? Just stay out of it I reckon, don't go looking for trouble.
– Kilisi
Dec 10 '15 at 21:02
1
@Kilisi if you know how to read minds, then you have me at the disadvantage. My observations on this are simple. If the Manager wanted to deal with it directly, then he would have. However, if he was fishing for someone to talk to this person and say, "Step up your game", then this kind of general statement is how they might go about it.
– Kennah
Dec 10 '15 at 23:42
@Kennah - exactly, see my answer on what a great opportunity to show how valuable you are to your direct supervisor and how you can help the entire team. Sitting quiet and taking no action because of risk aversion is just going to make sure you never advance your career.
– Jarrod Roberson
Dec 11 '15 at 0:53
1
It's not my opinion that she is incompetent, nor would it benefit me to watch her struggle. I believe it would ultimately benefit everyone for her to succeed.
– AlexD
Dec 11 '15 at 15:06
 |Â
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up vote
-3
down vote
This was your opportunity to demonstrate your value to your direct supervisor!
If you did not offer specific suggestions to your manager on how you are able to help her and anyone else improve with specific questions about what the manager thought they needed improvement on then you failed this test!
Showing that you care about things more than others will get you noticed and is a very loud leadership message that will get you considered for promotions and other advancements without you having to specifically campaign for them. You are showing your worth and value by the best way possible, by demonstrating it.
answered Dec 10 '15 at 2:17
Jarrod Roberson
4,87611621
whom ever downvoted this will not make it out of whatever dead end position they are in right now, if they even have a job, f they do not understand this
– Jarrod Roberson
Dec 11 '15 at 0:50
Not I, but do understand that at the time this response was posted that I didn't have a chance to demonstrate my value, as you put it, yet. That being said, what I did take away from your response was that it might be a good idea to indicate to my boss that I'm going to make an effort to reach out to my teammate. And that's exactly what I did.
– AlexD
Dec 11 '15 at 15:02
reaching out to warn them they are sucking is not the same thing as volunteering specific things you can do to help mentor them and guide them along. The first is basically rumor mongering at best and tattling on the manager at worst, the second is what professionals do.
– Jarrod Roberson
Dec 11 '15 at 18:18
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6 Answers
6
active
oldest
votes
6 Answers
6
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
up vote
11
down vote
accepted
Yes, I'd see this as appropriate to pass along. I would suggest focusing more on results than time here as the boss is likely looking more for results than just time spent on something. Some tasks could be done in 2 hours or 200 hours depending on how nit picky one wants to get and thus I'd look more on progress and checking things off of a to do list here.
answered Dec 9 '15 at 18:47
JB King
15.1k22957
3
Sometimes a boss will try to light a fire under someone by indirect means. I'm not saying it's a good way of handling things, but I've seen it before. I agree - pass the info along.
– NotMe
Dec 9 '15 at 20:19
Upvoted, as I did the warning once myself, but the result was, errrrm, non-existant. So don't expect miracles. But maybe it can have positive results. At worse, your warning will have been useless. So nothing lost.
– gazzz0x2z
Dec 10 '15 at 9:05
Thank you, everyone, for your input. While other responses were indeed helpful, I believe that this is my answer. Something that I should have considered more was how I could help my coworker, instead of just warn her. She is part of my team and someone who I will eventually be collaborating with on projects, and this discussion has made me realize that there is more I could be doing to help a struggling coworker.
– AlexD
Dec 10 '15 at 15:16
I would help out a colleague and give them a heads up, but I'd also be incredibly cautious on how I word it. It may seem like you're interfering unnecessarily, and passing off your own judgement as your bosses. Keep it amicable.
– Joe
Dec 10 '15 at 21:02
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
11
down vote
accepted
Yes, I'd see this as appropriate to pass along. I would suggest focusing more on results than time here as the boss is likely looking more for results than just time spent on something. Some tasks could be done in 2 hours or 200 hours depending on how nit picky one wants to get and thus I'd look more on progress and checking things off of a to do list here.
answered Dec 9 '15 at 18:47
JB King
15.1k22957
3
Sometimes a boss will try to light a fire under someone by indirect means. I'm not saying it's a good way of handling things, but I've seen it before. I agree - pass the info along.
– NotMe
Dec 9 '15 at 20:19
Upvoted, as I did the warning once myself, but the result was, errrrm, non-existant. So don't expect miracles. But maybe it can have positive results. At worse, your warning will have been useless. So nothing lost.
– gazzz0x2z
Dec 10 '15 at 9:05
Thank you, everyone, for your input. While other responses were indeed helpful, I believe that this is my answer. Something that I should have considered more was how I could help my coworker, instead of just warn her. She is part of my team and someone who I will eventually be collaborating with on projects, and this discussion has made me realize that there is more I could be doing to help a struggling coworker.
– AlexD
Dec 10 '15 at 15:16
I would help out a colleague and give them a heads up, but I'd also be incredibly cautious on how I word it. It may seem like you're interfering unnecessarily, and passing off your own judgement as your bosses. Keep it amicable.
– Joe
Dec 10 '15 at 21:02
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
11
down vote
accepted
up vote
11
down vote
accepted
Yes, I'd see this as appropriate to pass along. I would suggest focusing more on results than time here as the boss is likely looking more for results than just time spent on something. Some tasks could be done in 2 hours or 200 hours depending on how nit picky one wants to get and thus I'd look more on progress and checking things off of a to do list here.
answered Dec 9 '15 at 18:47
JB King
15.1k22957
Yes, I'd see this as appropriate to pass along. I would suggest focusing more on results than time here as the boss is likely looking more for results than just time spent on something. Some tasks could be done in 2 hours or 200 hours depending on how nit picky one wants to get and thus I'd look more on progress and checking things off of a to do list here.
answered Dec 9 '15 at 18:47
JB King
15.1k22957
answered Dec 9 '15 at 18:47
JB King
15.1k22957
answered Dec 9 '15 at 18:47
JB King
15.1k22957
answered Dec 9 '15 at 18:47
JB King
15.1k22957
15.1k22957
3
Sometimes a boss will try to light a fire under someone by indirect means. I'm not saying it's a good way of handling things, but I've seen it before. I agree - pass the info along.
– NotMe
Dec 9 '15 at 20:19
Upvoted, as I did the warning once myself, but the result was, errrrm, non-existant. So don't expect miracles. But maybe it can have positive results. At worse, your warning will have been useless. So nothing lost.
– gazzz0x2z
Dec 10 '15 at 9:05
Thank you, everyone, for your input. While other responses were indeed helpful, I believe that this is my answer. Something that I should have considered more was how I could help my coworker, instead of just warn her. She is part of my team and someone who I will eventually be collaborating with on projects, and this discussion has made me realize that there is more I could be doing to help a struggling coworker.
– AlexD
Dec 10 '15 at 15:16
I would help out a colleague and give them a heads up, but I'd also be incredibly cautious on how I word it. It may seem like you're interfering unnecessarily, and passing off your own judgement as your bosses. Keep it amicable.
– Joe
Dec 10 '15 at 21:02
suggest improvements |Â
3
Sometimes a boss will try to light a fire under someone by indirect means. I'm not saying it's a good way of handling things, but I've seen it before. I agree - pass the info along.
– NotMe
Dec 9 '15 at 20:19
Upvoted, as I did the warning once myself, but the result was, errrrm, non-existant. So don't expect miracles. But maybe it can have positive results. At worse, your warning will have been useless. So nothing lost.
– gazzz0x2z
Dec 10 '15 at 9:05
Thank you, everyone, for your input. While other responses were indeed helpful, I believe that this is my answer. Something that I should have considered more was how I could help my coworker, instead of just warn her. She is part of my team and someone who I will eventually be collaborating with on projects, and this discussion has made me realize that there is more I could be doing to help a struggling coworker.
– AlexD
Dec 10 '15 at 15:16
I would help out a colleague and give them a heads up, but I'd also be incredibly cautious on how I word it. It may seem like you're interfering unnecessarily, and passing off your own judgement as your bosses. Keep it amicable.
– Joe
Dec 10 '15 at 21:02
3
3
Sometimes a boss will try to light a fire under someone by indirect means. I'm not saying it's a good way of handling things, but I've seen it before. I agree - pass the info along.
– NotMe
Dec 9 '15 at 20:19
Sometimes a boss will try to light a fire under someone by indirect means. I'm not saying it's a good way of handling things, but I've seen it before. I agree - pass the info along.
– NotMe
Dec 9 '15 at 20:19
Upvoted, as I did the warning once myself, but the result was, errrrm, non-existant. So don't expect miracles. But maybe it can have positive results. At worse, your warning will have been useless. So nothing lost.
– gazzz0x2z
Dec 10 '15 at 9:05
Upvoted, as I did the warning once myself, but the result was, errrrm, non-existant. So don't expect miracles. But maybe it can have positive results. At worse, your warning will have been useless. So nothing lost.
– gazzz0x2z
Dec 10 '15 at 9:05
Thank you, everyone, for your input. While other responses were indeed helpful, I believe that this is my answer. Something that I should have considered more was how I could help my coworker, instead of just warn her. She is part of my team and someone who I will eventually be collaborating with on projects, and this discussion has made me realize that there is more I could be doing to help a struggling coworker.
– AlexD
Dec 10 '15 at 15:16
Thank you, everyone, for your input. While other responses were indeed helpful, I believe that this is my answer. Something that I should have considered more was how I could help my coworker, instead of just warn her. She is part of my team and someone who I will eventually be collaborating with on projects, and this discussion has made me realize that there is more I could be doing to help a struggling coworker.
– AlexD
Dec 10 '15 at 15:16
I would help out a colleague and give them a heads up, but I'd also be incredibly cautious on how I word it. It may seem like you're interfering unnecessarily, and passing off your own judgement as your bosses. Keep it amicable.
– Joe
Dec 10 '15 at 21:02
I would help out a colleague and give them a heads up, but I'd also be incredibly cautious on how I word it. It may seem like you're interfering unnecessarily, and passing off your own judgement as your bosses. Keep it amicable.
– Joe
Dec 10 '15 at 21:02
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
7
down vote
I know you want to be helpful, but be careful that you don't get caught in the middle. If you bring up her lack of performance, and then the boss "talks" to her about it, she may think you were the one who complained.
However, if you absolutely feel like you want to help, you might ask her to sit down with you to discuss how the project is going, and gently guide her toward what you know of the boss's expectations. Try to use neutral language (instead of "you should do this" explain that "Normally, what the bosses like to see is...") Since you are both working on the same project, help her to see that you want to help your teammates succeed, because it is a win for both of you.
answered Dec 9 '15 at 18:49
Francine DeGrood Taylor
3,075713
Sounds iike mansplaining already. Be careful not to confuse "circuitous and condescending" with "neutral." "Continue working with your colleague to do a good job" would be more neutral advice to give.
– user42272
Dec 10 '15 at 2:04
2
@djechlin not that it's any kind of conclusive evidence, but you do know 'Francine' is a female given name, right?
– AakashM
Dec 10 '15 at 8:39
@djechlin: the problem with the advice "Continue working with your colleague to do a good job" is that the colleague is not currently doing a good job.
– Josef K
Dec 10 '15 at 12:06
@AakashM what's your point?
– user42272
Dec 10 '15 at 13:37
1
@MarkBannister which does not make her your mentee.
– user42272
Dec 10 '15 at 13:38
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
7
down vote
I know you want to be helpful, but be careful that you don't get caught in the middle. If you bring up her lack of performance, and then the boss "talks" to her about it, she may think you were the one who complained.
However, if you absolutely feel like you want to help, you might ask her to sit down with you to discuss how the project is going, and gently guide her toward what you know of the boss's expectations. Try to use neutral language (instead of "you should do this" explain that "Normally, what the bosses like to see is...") Since you are both working on the same project, help her to see that you want to help your teammates succeed, because it is a win for both of you.
answered Dec 9 '15 at 18:49
Francine DeGrood Taylor
3,075713
Sounds iike mansplaining already. Be careful not to confuse "circuitous and condescending" with "neutral." "Continue working with your colleague to do a good job" would be more neutral advice to give.
– user42272
Dec 10 '15 at 2:04
2
@djechlin not that it's any kind of conclusive evidence, but you do know 'Francine' is a female given name, right?
– AakashM
Dec 10 '15 at 8:39
@djechlin: the problem with the advice "Continue working with your colleague to do a good job" is that the colleague is not currently doing a good job.
– Josef K
Dec 10 '15 at 12:06
@AakashM what's your point?
– user42272
Dec 10 '15 at 13:37
1
@MarkBannister which does not make her your mentee.
– user42272
Dec 10 '15 at 13:38
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
7
down vote
up vote
7
down vote
I know you want to be helpful, but be careful that you don't get caught in the middle. If you bring up her lack of performance, and then the boss "talks" to her about it, she may think you were the one who complained.
However, if you absolutely feel like you want to help, you might ask her to sit down with you to discuss how the project is going, and gently guide her toward what you know of the boss's expectations. Try to use neutral language (instead of "you should do this" explain that "Normally, what the bosses like to see is...") Since you are both working on the same project, help her to see that you want to help your teammates succeed, because it is a win for both of you.
answered Dec 9 '15 at 18:49
Francine DeGrood Taylor
3,075713
I know you want to be helpful, but be careful that you don't get caught in the middle. If you bring up her lack of performance, and then the boss "talks" to her about it, she may think you were the one who complained.
However, if you absolutely feel like you want to help, you might ask her to sit down with you to discuss how the project is going, and gently guide her toward what you know of the boss's expectations. Try to use neutral language (instead of "you should do this" explain that "Normally, what the bosses like to see is...") Since you are both working on the same project, help her to see that you want to help your teammates succeed, because it is a win for both of you.
answered Dec 9 '15 at 18:49
Francine DeGrood Taylor
3,075713
answered Dec 9 '15 at 18:49
Francine DeGrood Taylor
3,075713
answered Dec 9 '15 at 18:49
Francine DeGrood Taylor
3,075713
answered Dec 9 '15 at 18:49
Francine DeGrood Taylor
3,075713
3,075713
Sounds iike mansplaining already. Be careful not to confuse "circuitous and condescending" with "neutral." "Continue working with your colleague to do a good job" would be more neutral advice to give.
– user42272
Dec 10 '15 at 2:04
2
@djechlin not that it's any kind of conclusive evidence, but you do know 'Francine' is a female given name, right?
– AakashM
Dec 10 '15 at 8:39
@djechlin: the problem with the advice "Continue working with your colleague to do a good job" is that the colleague is not currently doing a good job.
– Josef K
Dec 10 '15 at 12:06
@AakashM what's your point?
– user42272
Dec 10 '15 at 13:37
1
@MarkBannister which does not make her your mentee.
– user42272
Dec 10 '15 at 13:38
suggest improvements |Â
Sounds iike mansplaining already. Be careful not to confuse "circuitous and condescending" with "neutral." "Continue working with your colleague to do a good job" would be more neutral advice to give.
– user42272
Dec 10 '15 at 2:04
2
@djechlin not that it's any kind of conclusive evidence, but you do know 'Francine' is a female given name, right?
– AakashM
Dec 10 '15 at 8:39
@djechlin: the problem with the advice "Continue working with your colleague to do a good job" is that the colleague is not currently doing a good job.
– Josef K
Dec 10 '15 at 12:06
@AakashM what's your point?
– user42272
Dec 10 '15 at 13:37
1
@MarkBannister which does not make her your mentee.
– user42272
Dec 10 '15 at 13:38
Sounds iike mansplaining already. Be careful not to confuse "circuitous and condescending" with "neutral." "Continue working with your colleague to do a good job" would be more neutral advice to give.
– user42272
Dec 10 '15 at 2:04
Sounds iike mansplaining already. Be careful not to confuse "circuitous and condescending" with "neutral." "Continue working with your colleague to do a good job" would be more neutral advice to give.
– user42272
Dec 10 '15 at 2:04
2
2
@djechlin not that it's any kind of conclusive evidence, but you do know 'Francine' is a female given name, right?
– AakashM
Dec 10 '15 at 8:39
@djechlin not that it's any kind of conclusive evidence, but you do know 'Francine' is a female given name, right?
– AakashM
Dec 10 '15 at 8:39
@djechlin: the problem with the advice "Continue working with your colleague to do a good job" is that the colleague is not currently doing a good job.
– Josef K
Dec 10 '15 at 12:06
@djechlin: the problem with the advice "Continue working with your colleague to do a good job" is that the colleague is not currently doing a good job.
– Josef K
Dec 10 '15 at 12:06
@AakashM what's your point?
– user42272
Dec 10 '15 at 13:37
@AakashM what's your point?
– user42272
Dec 10 '15 at 13:37
1
1
@MarkBannister which does not make her your mentee.
– user42272
Dec 10 '15 at 13:38
@MarkBannister which does not make her your mentee.
– user42272
Dec 10 '15 at 13:38
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
5
down vote
First, it is your manager's job to manage - so be careful that you are not crossing that line.
A "friendly heads-up" that a boss is about to "talk" to a stressed and anxious co-worker is likely not going to be productive. If you think being direct with your colleague is acceptable and will lead to a productive, "how can I do better at my job?" type conversation, then you might mention it.
Your boss may have mentioned it casually, but also maybe is interested in seeing if your team can work as a team when someone is struggling. Just be cautious in your approach - suggesting better training materials, asking about progress on related work or sharing tips with her may help without distracting her with increased anxiety.
Conversely, some people spend all day doing training because they really don't know what to do. They are best suited for another job and/or with another company and you are wasting your time with a person like that. While someone commented that spending time on training materials allowed them to grow out of their job rapidly, that is not beneficial to the employer or the team, however much it may have helped the individual. That is also not likely to benefit you much.
answered Dec 9 '15 at 18:49
Jim
4,495623
It did benefit the employer. The work was done, so in the first case they didn't need me to work so many hours (so it wasn't sustainable for me to stay, but it was cheaper in the short run for the employer). In the second case, it was a finite amount of work that they had contracted to do, so they got a bargain when I finished early.
– Amy Blankenship
Dec 9 '15 at 19:03
you are describing "performing a job" which includes acquiring information needed to get it done - not necessarily "working yourself out of a job" which seems to imply that your acquisition of skills prepared you for a future job at the expense of your current one. Your additional comment sounds like you did excellent work - I was cautioning the OP against trying to help someone that, intentionally or not, is really training themselves for another job.
– Jim
Dec 9 '15 at 19:31
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
5
down vote
First, it is your manager's job to manage - so be careful that you are not crossing that line.
A "friendly heads-up" that a boss is about to "talk" to a stressed and anxious co-worker is likely not going to be productive. If you think being direct with your colleague is acceptable and will lead to a productive, "how can I do better at my job?" type conversation, then you might mention it.
Your boss may have mentioned it casually, but also maybe is interested in seeing if your team can work as a team when someone is struggling. Just be cautious in your approach - suggesting better training materials, asking about progress on related work or sharing tips with her may help without distracting her with increased anxiety.
Conversely, some people spend all day doing training because they really don't know what to do. They are best suited for another job and/or with another company and you are wasting your time with a person like that. While someone commented that spending time on training materials allowed them to grow out of their job rapidly, that is not beneficial to the employer or the team, however much it may have helped the individual. That is also not likely to benefit you much.
answered Dec 9 '15 at 18:49
Jim
4,495623
It did benefit the employer. The work was done, so in the first case they didn't need me to work so many hours (so it wasn't sustainable for me to stay, but it was cheaper in the short run for the employer). In the second case, it was a finite amount of work that they had contracted to do, so they got a bargain when I finished early.
– Amy Blankenship
Dec 9 '15 at 19:03
you are describing "performing a job" which includes acquiring information needed to get it done - not necessarily "working yourself out of a job" which seems to imply that your acquisition of skills prepared you for a future job at the expense of your current one. Your additional comment sounds like you did excellent work - I was cautioning the OP against trying to help someone that, intentionally or not, is really training themselves for another job.
– Jim
Dec 9 '15 at 19:31
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
5
down vote
up vote
5
down vote
First, it is your manager's job to manage - so be careful that you are not crossing that line.
A "friendly heads-up" that a boss is about to "talk" to a stressed and anxious co-worker is likely not going to be productive. If you think being direct with your colleague is acceptable and will lead to a productive, "how can I do better at my job?" type conversation, then you might mention it.
Your boss may have mentioned it casually, but also maybe is interested in seeing if your team can work as a team when someone is struggling. Just be cautious in your approach - suggesting better training materials, asking about progress on related work or sharing tips with her may help without distracting her with increased anxiety.
Conversely, some people spend all day doing training because they really don't know what to do. They are best suited for another job and/or with another company and you are wasting your time with a person like that. While someone commented that spending time on training materials allowed them to grow out of their job rapidly, that is not beneficial to the employer or the team, however much it may have helped the individual. That is also not likely to benefit you much.
answered Dec 9 '15 at 18:49
Jim
4,495623
First, it is your manager's job to manage - so be careful that you are not crossing that line.
A "friendly heads-up" that a boss is about to "talk" to a stressed and anxious co-worker is likely not going to be productive. If you think being direct with your colleague is acceptable and will lead to a productive, "how can I do better at my job?" type conversation, then you might mention it.
Your boss may have mentioned it casually, but also maybe is interested in seeing if your team can work as a team when someone is struggling. Just be cautious in your approach - suggesting better training materials, asking about progress on related work or sharing tips with her may help without distracting her with increased anxiety.
Conversely, some people spend all day doing training because they really don't know what to do. They are best suited for another job and/or with another company and you are wasting your time with a person like that. While someone commented that spending time on training materials allowed them to grow out of their job rapidly, that is not beneficial to the employer or the team, however much it may have helped the individual. That is also not likely to benefit you much.
answered Dec 9 '15 at 18:49
Jim
4,495623
answered Dec 9 '15 at 18:49
Jim
4,495623
answered Dec 9 '15 at 18:49
Jim
4,495623
answered Dec 9 '15 at 18:49
Jim
4,495623
4,495623
It did benefit the employer. The work was done, so in the first case they didn't need me to work so many hours (so it wasn't sustainable for me to stay, but it was cheaper in the short run for the employer). In the second case, it was a finite amount of work that they had contracted to do, so they got a bargain when I finished early.
– Amy Blankenship
Dec 9 '15 at 19:03
you are describing "performing a job" which includes acquiring information needed to get it done - not necessarily "working yourself out of a job" which seems to imply that your acquisition of skills prepared you for a future job at the expense of your current one. Your additional comment sounds like you did excellent work - I was cautioning the OP against trying to help someone that, intentionally or not, is really training themselves for another job.
– Jim
Dec 9 '15 at 19:31
suggest improvements |Â
It did benefit the employer. The work was done, so in the first case they didn't need me to work so many hours (so it wasn't sustainable for me to stay, but it was cheaper in the short run for the employer). In the second case, it was a finite amount of work that they had contracted to do, so they got a bargain when I finished early.
– Amy Blankenship
Dec 9 '15 at 19:03
you are describing "performing a job" which includes acquiring information needed to get it done - not necessarily "working yourself out of a job" which seems to imply that your acquisition of skills prepared you for a future job at the expense of your current one. Your additional comment sounds like you did excellent work - I was cautioning the OP against trying to help someone that, intentionally or not, is really training themselves for another job.
– Jim
Dec 9 '15 at 19:31
It did benefit the employer. The work was done, so in the first case they didn't need me to work so many hours (so it wasn't sustainable for me to stay, but it was cheaper in the short run for the employer). In the second case, it was a finite amount of work that they had contracted to do, so they got a bargain when I finished early.
– Amy Blankenship
Dec 9 '15 at 19:03
It did benefit the employer. The work was done, so in the first case they didn't need me to work so many hours (so it wasn't sustainable for me to stay, but it was cheaper in the short run for the employer). In the second case, it was a finite amount of work that they had contracted to do, so they got a bargain when I finished early.
– Amy Blankenship
Dec 9 '15 at 19:03
you are describing "performing a job" which includes acquiring information needed to get it done - not necessarily "working yourself out of a job" which seems to imply that your acquisition of skills prepared you for a future job at the expense of your current one. Your additional comment sounds like you did excellent work - I was cautioning the OP against trying to help someone that, intentionally or not, is really training themselves for another job.
– Jim
Dec 9 '15 at 19:31
you are describing "performing a job" which includes acquiring information needed to get it done - not necessarily "working yourself out of a job" which seems to imply that your acquisition of skills prepared you for a future job at the expense of your current one. Your additional comment sounds like you did excellent work - I was cautioning the OP against trying to help someone that, intentionally or not, is really training themselves for another job.
– Jim
Dec 9 '15 at 19:31
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
1
down vote
The fact that your boss said this in front of you could be seen as an implicit indication for you to pass this info along to your coworker, particularly since you have more experience and could potentially provide some mentoring in this area.
What to do next will depend in large part upon your working relationship with this female coworker. If you and she have a good working relationship, that's a good sign. If you are a Tech Lead or even informally mentor this coworker, that's an even better sign. However, only you know best how she would respond to any information you brought to her. I have worked with people over the years whom I would NEVER bring up this information with them because they would not react or respond well to it.
If you feel that you are in a position to bring this up to her, and that she would react positively to it, then yes I think you should bring it to her attention. Have an informal one on one conversation with her. Tell her what the boss said and try to give some context. You don't want her to panic, and this kind of news can make people panicky. I would suggest if you're willing to bring this up to her, then you should be prepared to help if at all possible. A little guidance and a few answered questions might be all that's needed.
answered Dec 10 '15 at 20:58
Kennah
1,783314
Basing a course of action on an could be seen as an implicit indication interpretation is a bit strange. The proper thing to do would be to verify this interpretation with the boss: "Are you saying this to me because you want me to address this?"
– Jan Doggen
Dec 11 '15 at 14:57
BTW If this was not the bosses intent, he was actually gossiping (complaining about X to Y). Not that the OP can lecture him on that...
– Jan Doggen
Dec 11 '15 at 14:58
@JanDoggen human behavior is never an exact science. Over the years, particularly doing consulting and contract work, I've found it essential to rely more upon intuition and less upon direct communication. People are generally really bad at direct communication.
– Kennah
Dec 11 '15 at 16:46
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
1
down vote
The fact that your boss said this in front of you could be seen as an implicit indication for you to pass this info along to your coworker, particularly since you have more experience and could potentially provide some mentoring in this area.
What to do next will depend in large part upon your working relationship with this female coworker. If you and she have a good working relationship, that's a good sign. If you are a Tech Lead or even informally mentor this coworker, that's an even better sign. However, only you know best how she would respond to any information you brought to her. I have worked with people over the years whom I would NEVER bring up this information with them because they would not react or respond well to it.
If you feel that you are in a position to bring this up to her, and that she would react positively to it, then yes I think you should bring it to her attention. Have an informal one on one conversation with her. Tell her what the boss said and try to give some context. You don't want her to panic, and this kind of news can make people panicky. I would suggest if you're willing to bring this up to her, then you should be prepared to help if at all possible. A little guidance and a few answered questions might be all that's needed.
answered Dec 10 '15 at 20:58
Kennah
1,783314
Basing a course of action on an could be seen as an implicit indication interpretation is a bit strange. The proper thing to do would be to verify this interpretation with the boss: "Are you saying this to me because you want me to address this?"
– Jan Doggen
Dec 11 '15 at 14:57
BTW If this was not the bosses intent, he was actually gossiping (complaining about X to Y). Not that the OP can lecture him on that...
– Jan Doggen
Dec 11 '15 at 14:58
@JanDoggen human behavior is never an exact science. Over the years, particularly doing consulting and contract work, I've found it essential to rely more upon intuition and less upon direct communication. People are generally really bad at direct communication.
– Kennah
Dec 11 '15 at 16:46
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
1
down vote
up vote
1
down vote
The fact that your boss said this in front of you could be seen as an implicit indication for you to pass this info along to your coworker, particularly since you have more experience and could potentially provide some mentoring in this area.
What to do next will depend in large part upon your working relationship with this female coworker. If you and she have a good working relationship, that's a good sign. If you are a Tech Lead or even informally mentor this coworker, that's an even better sign. However, only you know best how she would respond to any information you brought to her. I have worked with people over the years whom I would NEVER bring up this information with them because they would not react or respond well to it.
If you feel that you are in a position to bring this up to her, and that she would react positively to it, then yes I think you should bring it to her attention. Have an informal one on one conversation with her. Tell her what the boss said and try to give some context. You don't want her to panic, and this kind of news can make people panicky. I would suggest if you're willing to bring this up to her, then you should be prepared to help if at all possible. A little guidance and a few answered questions might be all that's needed.
answered Dec 10 '15 at 20:58
Kennah
1,783314
The fact that your boss said this in front of you could be seen as an implicit indication for you to pass this info along to your coworker, particularly since you have more experience and could potentially provide some mentoring in this area.
What to do next will depend in large part upon your working relationship with this female coworker. If you and she have a good working relationship, that's a good sign. If you are a Tech Lead or even informally mentor this coworker, that's an even better sign. However, only you know best how she would respond to any information you brought to her. I have worked with people over the years whom I would NEVER bring up this information with them because they would not react or respond well to it.
If you feel that you are in a position to bring this up to her, and that she would react positively to it, then yes I think you should bring it to her attention. Have an informal one on one conversation with her. Tell her what the boss said and try to give some context. You don't want her to panic, and this kind of news can make people panicky. I would suggest if you're willing to bring this up to her, then you should be prepared to help if at all possible. A little guidance and a few answered questions might be all that's needed.
answered Dec 10 '15 at 20:58
Kennah
1,783314
answered Dec 10 '15 at 20:58
Kennah
1,783314
answered Dec 10 '15 at 20:58
Kennah
1,783314
answered Dec 10 '15 at 20:58
Kennah
1,783314
1,783314
Basing a course of action on an could be seen as an implicit indication interpretation is a bit strange. The proper thing to do would be to verify this interpretation with the boss: "Are you saying this to me because you want me to address this?"
– Jan Doggen
Dec 11 '15 at 14:57
BTW If this was not the bosses intent, he was actually gossiping (complaining about X to Y). Not that the OP can lecture him on that...
– Jan Doggen
Dec 11 '15 at 14:58
@JanDoggen human behavior is never an exact science. Over the years, particularly doing consulting and contract work, I've found it essential to rely more upon intuition and less upon direct communication. People are generally really bad at direct communication.
– Kennah
Dec 11 '15 at 16:46
suggest improvements |Â
Basing a course of action on an could be seen as an implicit indication interpretation is a bit strange. The proper thing to do would be to verify this interpretation with the boss: "Are you saying this to me because you want me to address this?"
– Jan Doggen
Dec 11 '15 at 14:57
BTW If this was not the bosses intent, he was actually gossiping (complaining about X to Y). Not that the OP can lecture him on that...
– Jan Doggen
Dec 11 '15 at 14:58
@JanDoggen human behavior is never an exact science. Over the years, particularly doing consulting and contract work, I've found it essential to rely more upon intuition and less upon direct communication. People are generally really bad at direct communication.
– Kennah
Dec 11 '15 at 16:46
Basing a course of action on an could be seen as an implicit indication interpretation is a bit strange. The proper thing to do would be to verify this interpretation with the boss: "Are you saying this to me because you want me to address this?"
– Jan Doggen
Dec 11 '15 at 14:57
Basing a course of action on an could be seen as an implicit indication interpretation is a bit strange. The proper thing to do would be to verify this interpretation with the boss: "Are you saying this to me because you want me to address this?"
– Jan Doggen
Dec 11 '15 at 14:57
BTW If this was not the bosses intent, he was actually gossiping (complaining about X to Y). Not that the OP can lecture him on that...
– Jan Doggen
Dec 11 '15 at 14:58
BTW If this was not the bosses intent, he was actually gossiping (complaining about X to Y). Not that the OP can lecture him on that...
– Jan Doggen
Dec 11 '15 at 14:58
@JanDoggen human behavior is never an exact science. Over the years, particularly doing consulting and contract work, I've found it essential to rely more upon intuition and less upon direct communication. People are generally really bad at direct communication.
– Kennah
Dec 11 '15 at 16:46
@JanDoggen human behavior is never an exact science. Over the years, particularly doing consulting and contract work, I've found it essential to rely more upon intuition and less upon direct communication. People are generally really bad at direct communication.
– Kennah
Dec 11 '15 at 16:46
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
0
down vote
It's not your problem, and it's not your place to lecture your colleague on performance. So don't. Simple as that.
answered Dec 10 '15 at 1:10
Kilisi
94.7k50216376
1
People often don't communicate directly, including leaders. This kind of indirect communication should not be ignored.
– Kennah
Dec 10 '15 at 21:00
@Kennah So... what does that mean? You have to read minds all the time? Just stay out of it I reckon, don't go looking for trouble.
– Kilisi
Dec 10 '15 at 21:02
1
@Kilisi if you know how to read minds, then you have me at the disadvantage. My observations on this are simple. If the Manager wanted to deal with it directly, then he would have. However, if he was fishing for someone to talk to this person and say, "Step up your game", then this kind of general statement is how they might go about it.
– Kennah
Dec 10 '15 at 23:42
@Kennah - exactly, see my answer on what a great opportunity to show how valuable you are to your direct supervisor and how you can help the entire team. Sitting quiet and taking no action because of risk aversion is just going to make sure you never advance your career.
– Jarrod Roberson
Dec 11 '15 at 0:53
1
It's not my opinion that she is incompetent, nor would it benefit me to watch her struggle. I believe it would ultimately benefit everyone for her to succeed.
– AlexD
Dec 11 '15 at 15:06
 |Â
show 7 more comments
up vote
0
down vote
It's not your problem, and it's not your place to lecture your colleague on performance. So don't. Simple as that.
answered Dec 10 '15 at 1:10
Kilisi
94.7k50216376
1
People often don't communicate directly, including leaders. This kind of indirect communication should not be ignored.
– Kennah
Dec 10 '15 at 21:00
@Kennah So... what does that mean? You have to read minds all the time? Just stay out of it I reckon, don't go looking for trouble.
– Kilisi
Dec 10 '15 at 21:02
1
@Kilisi if you know how to read minds, then you have me at the disadvantage. My observations on this are simple. If the Manager wanted to deal with it directly, then he would have. However, if he was fishing for someone to talk to this person and say, "Step up your game", then this kind of general statement is how they might go about it.
– Kennah
Dec 10 '15 at 23:42
@Kennah - exactly, see my answer on what a great opportunity to show how valuable you are to your direct supervisor and how you can help the entire team. Sitting quiet and taking no action because of risk aversion is just going to make sure you never advance your career.
– Jarrod Roberson
Dec 11 '15 at 0:53
1
It's not my opinion that she is incompetent, nor would it benefit me to watch her struggle. I believe it would ultimately benefit everyone for her to succeed.
– AlexD
Dec 11 '15 at 15:06
 |Â
show 7 more comments
up vote
0
down vote
up vote
0
down vote
It's not your problem, and it's not your place to lecture your colleague on performance. So don't. Simple as that.
answered Dec 10 '15 at 1:10
Kilisi
94.7k50216376
It's not your problem, and it's not your place to lecture your colleague on performance. So don't. Simple as that.
answered Dec 10 '15 at 1:10
Kilisi
94.7k50216376
edited Dec 11 '15 at 19:11
answered Dec 10 '15 at 1:10
Kilisi
94.7k50216376
answered Dec 10 '15 at 1:10
Kilisi
94.7k50216376
answered Dec 10 '15 at 1:10
Kilisi
94.7k50216376
94.7k50216376
1
People often don't communicate directly, including leaders. This kind of indirect communication should not be ignored.
– Kennah
Dec 10 '15 at 21:00
@Kennah So... what does that mean? You have to read minds all the time? Just stay out of it I reckon, don't go looking for trouble.
– Kilisi
Dec 10 '15 at 21:02
1
@Kilisi if you know how to read minds, then you have me at the disadvantage. My observations on this are simple. If the Manager wanted to deal with it directly, then he would have. However, if he was fishing for someone to talk to this person and say, "Step up your game", then this kind of general statement is how they might go about it.
– Kennah
Dec 10 '15 at 23:42
@Kennah - exactly, see my answer on what a great opportunity to show how valuable you are to your direct supervisor and how you can help the entire team. Sitting quiet and taking no action because of risk aversion is just going to make sure you never advance your career.
– Jarrod Roberson
Dec 11 '15 at 0:53
1
It's not my opinion that she is incompetent, nor would it benefit me to watch her struggle. I believe it would ultimately benefit everyone for her to succeed.
– AlexD
Dec 11 '15 at 15:06
 |Â
show 7 more comments
1
People often don't communicate directly, including leaders. This kind of indirect communication should not be ignored.
– Kennah
Dec 10 '15 at 21:00
@Kennah So... what does that mean? You have to read minds all the time? Just stay out of it I reckon, don't go looking for trouble.
– Kilisi
Dec 10 '15 at 21:02
1
@Kilisi if you know how to read minds, then you have me at the disadvantage. My observations on this are simple. If the Manager wanted to deal with it directly, then he would have. However, if he was fishing for someone to talk to this person and say, "Step up your game", then this kind of general statement is how they might go about it.
– Kennah
Dec 10 '15 at 23:42
@Kennah - exactly, see my answer on what a great opportunity to show how valuable you are to your direct supervisor and how you can help the entire team. Sitting quiet and taking no action because of risk aversion is just going to make sure you never advance your career.
– Jarrod Roberson
Dec 11 '15 at 0:53
1
It's not my opinion that she is incompetent, nor would it benefit me to watch her struggle. I believe it would ultimately benefit everyone for her to succeed.
– AlexD
Dec 11 '15 at 15:06
1
1
People often don't communicate directly, including leaders. This kind of indirect communication should not be ignored.
– Kennah
Dec 10 '15 at 21:00
People often don't communicate directly, including leaders. This kind of indirect communication should not be ignored.
– Kennah
Dec 10 '15 at 21:00
@Kennah So... what does that mean? You have to read minds all the time? Just stay out of it I reckon, don't go looking for trouble.
– Kilisi
Dec 10 '15 at 21:02
@Kennah So... what does that mean? You have to read minds all the time? Just stay out of it I reckon, don't go looking for trouble.
– Kilisi
Dec 10 '15 at 21:02
1
1
@Kilisi if you know how to read minds, then you have me at the disadvantage. My observations on this are simple. If the Manager wanted to deal with it directly, then he would have. However, if he was fishing for someone to talk to this person and say, "Step up your game", then this kind of general statement is how they might go about it.
– Kennah
Dec 10 '15 at 23:42
@Kilisi if you know how to read minds, then you have me at the disadvantage. My observations on this are simple. If the Manager wanted to deal with it directly, then he would have. However, if he was fishing for someone to talk to this person and say, "Step up your game", then this kind of general statement is how they might go about it.
– Kennah
Dec 10 '15 at 23:42
@Kennah - exactly, see my answer on what a great opportunity to show how valuable you are to your direct supervisor and how you can help the entire team. Sitting quiet and taking no action because of risk aversion is just going to make sure you never advance your career.
– Jarrod Roberson
Dec 11 '15 at 0:53
@Kennah - exactly, see my answer on what a great opportunity to show how valuable you are to your direct supervisor and how you can help the entire team. Sitting quiet and taking no action because of risk aversion is just going to make sure you never advance your career.
– Jarrod Roberson
Dec 11 '15 at 0:53
1
1
It's not my opinion that she is incompetent, nor would it benefit me to watch her struggle. I believe it would ultimately benefit everyone for her to succeed.
– AlexD
Dec 11 '15 at 15:06
It's not my opinion that she is incompetent, nor would it benefit me to watch her struggle. I believe it would ultimately benefit everyone for her to succeed.
– AlexD
Dec 11 '15 at 15:06
 |Â
show 7 more comments
up vote
-3
down vote
This was your opportunity to demonstrate your value to your direct supervisor!
If you did not offer specific suggestions to your manager on how you are able to help her and anyone else improve with specific questions about what the manager thought they needed improvement on then you failed this test!
Showing that you care about things more than others will get you noticed and is a very loud leadership message that will get you considered for promotions and other advancements without you having to specifically campaign for them. You are showing your worth and value by the best way possible, by demonstrating it.
answered Dec 10 '15 at 2:17
Jarrod Roberson
4,87611621
whom ever downvoted this will not make it out of whatever dead end position they are in right now, if they even have a job, f they do not understand this
– Jarrod Roberson
Dec 11 '15 at 0:50
Not I, but do understand that at the time this response was posted that I didn't have a chance to demonstrate my value, as you put it, yet. That being said, what I did take away from your response was that it might be a good idea to indicate to my boss that I'm going to make an effort to reach out to my teammate. And that's exactly what I did.
– AlexD
Dec 11 '15 at 15:02
reaching out to warn them they are sucking is not the same thing as volunteering specific things you can do to help mentor them and guide them along. The first is basically rumor mongering at best and tattling on the manager at worst, the second is what professionals do.
– Jarrod Roberson
Dec 11 '15 at 18:18
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
-3
down vote
This was your opportunity to demonstrate your value to your direct supervisor!
If you did not offer specific suggestions to your manager on how you are able to help her and anyone else improve with specific questions about what the manager thought they needed improvement on then you failed this test!
Showing that you care about things more than others will get you noticed and is a very loud leadership message that will get you considered for promotions and other advancements without you having to specifically campaign for them. You are showing your worth and value by the best way possible, by demonstrating it.
answered Dec 10 '15 at 2:17
Jarrod Roberson
4,87611621
whom ever downvoted this will not make it out of whatever dead end position they are in right now, if they even have a job, f they do not understand this
– Jarrod Roberson
Dec 11 '15 at 0:50
Not I, but do understand that at the time this response was posted that I didn't have a chance to demonstrate my value, as you put it, yet. That being said, what I did take away from your response was that it might be a good idea to indicate to my boss that I'm going to make an effort to reach out to my teammate. And that's exactly what I did.
– AlexD
Dec 11 '15 at 15:02
reaching out to warn them they are sucking is not the same thing as volunteering specific things you can do to help mentor them and guide them along. The first is basically rumor mongering at best and tattling on the manager at worst, the second is what professionals do.
– Jarrod Roberson
Dec 11 '15 at 18:18
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
-3
down vote
up vote
-3
down vote
This was your opportunity to demonstrate your value to your direct supervisor!
If you did not offer specific suggestions to your manager on how you are able to help her and anyone else improve with specific questions about what the manager thought they needed improvement on then you failed this test!
Showing that you care about things more than others will get you noticed and is a very loud leadership message that will get you considered for promotions and other advancements without you having to specifically campaign for them. You are showing your worth and value by the best way possible, by demonstrating it.
answered Dec 10 '15 at 2:17
Jarrod Roberson
4,87611621
This was your opportunity to demonstrate your value to your direct supervisor!
If you did not offer specific suggestions to your manager on how you are able to help her and anyone else improve with specific questions about what the manager thought they needed improvement on then you failed this test!
Showing that you care about things more than others will get you noticed and is a very loud leadership message that will get you considered for promotions and other advancements without you having to specifically campaign for them. You are showing your worth and value by the best way possible, by demonstrating it.
answered Dec 10 '15 at 2:17
Jarrod Roberson
4,87611621
edited Dec 11 '15 at 18:36
answered Dec 10 '15 at 2:17
Jarrod Roberson
4,87611621
answered Dec 10 '15 at 2:17
Jarrod Roberson
4,87611621
answered Dec 10 '15 at 2:17
Jarrod Roberson
4,87611621
4,87611621
whom ever downvoted this will not make it out of whatever dead end position they are in right now, if they even have a job, f they do not understand this
– Jarrod Roberson
Dec 11 '15 at 0:50
Not I, but do understand that at the time this response was posted that I didn't have a chance to demonstrate my value, as you put it, yet. That being said, what I did take away from your response was that it might be a good idea to indicate to my boss that I'm going to make an effort to reach out to my teammate. And that's exactly what I did.
– AlexD
Dec 11 '15 at 15:02
reaching out to warn them they are sucking is not the same thing as volunteering specific things you can do to help mentor them and guide them along. The first is basically rumor mongering at best and tattling on the manager at worst, the second is what professionals do.
– Jarrod Roberson
Dec 11 '15 at 18:18
suggest improvements |Â
whom ever downvoted this will not make it out of whatever dead end position they are in right now, if they even have a job, f they do not understand this
– Jarrod Roberson
Dec 11 '15 at 0:50
Not I, but do understand that at the time this response was posted that I didn't have a chance to demonstrate my value, as you put it, yet. That being said, what I did take away from your response was that it might be a good idea to indicate to my boss that I'm going to make an effort to reach out to my teammate. And that's exactly what I did.
– AlexD
Dec 11 '15 at 15:02
reaching out to warn them they are sucking is not the same thing as volunteering specific things you can do to help mentor them and guide them along. The first is basically rumor mongering at best and tattling on the manager at worst, the second is what professionals do.
– Jarrod Roberson
Dec 11 '15 at 18:18
whom ever downvoted this will not make it out of whatever dead end position they are in right now, if they even have a job, f they do not understand this
– Jarrod Roberson
Dec 11 '15 at 0:50
whom ever downvoted this will not make it out of whatever dead end position they are in right now, if they even have a job, f they do not understand this
– Jarrod Roberson
Dec 11 '15 at 0:50
Not I, but do understand that at the time this response was posted that I didn't have a chance to demonstrate my value, as you put it, yet. That being said, what I did take away from your response was that it might be a good idea to indicate to my boss that I'm going to make an effort to reach out to my teammate. And that's exactly what I did.
– AlexD
Dec 11 '15 at 15:02
Not I, but do understand that at the time this response was posted that I didn't have a chance to demonstrate my value, as you put it, yet. That being said, what I did take away from your response was that it might be a good idea to indicate to my boss that I'm going to make an effort to reach out to my teammate. And that's exactly what I did.
– AlexD
Dec 11 '15 at 15:02
reaching out to warn them they are sucking is not the same thing as volunteering specific things you can do to help mentor them and guide them along. The first is basically rumor mongering at best and tattling on the manager at worst, the second is what professionals do.
– Jarrod Roberson
Dec 11 '15 at 18:18
reaching out to warn them they are sucking is not the same thing as volunteering specific things you can do to help mentor them and guide them along. The first is basically rumor mongering at best and tattling on the manager at worst, the second is what professionals do.
– Jarrod Roberson
Dec 11 '15 at 18:18
suggest improvements |Â
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3
Ha. In two of my first jobs, I had bosses who were like yours and wondered when I was going to stop poring over the documentation and get to work. When I did get to work, I literally worked myself out of both jobs. Sometimes that time is well spent, and there are some people who are actually not able to do a job until they fully understand it. I personally don't understand how people do work with just a sketchy understanding of what's going on, but that's just me.
– Amy Blankenship
Dec 9 '15 at 18:35
Firstly, do you have confidence that she'll be able to do her job? And secondly, are you on friendly terms with her?
– Dan
Dec 9 '15 at 18:55
7
It sounds entirely inappropriate for your manager to be discussing the performance and disciplinary steps (of which a verbal warning is usually the first!) with anyone, much less a subordinate who is a peer of the under-performing individual.
– corsiKa
Dec 9 '15 at 21:21
I wonder if the boss was giving the OP a roundabout warning that their own performance is lacking?
– Kilisi
Dec 10 '15 at 22:23