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How can I determine how much to talk about my personal life with clients? [closed]
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I'm working as a consultant via a large consulting firm.
I'm curious as to the personal relationship I should have with my new lead at the client-side.
For example, suppose I'm working on a graduate degree in spare time. Should I divulge this, if for example I'm taking some time off specifically to work on this
graduate degree?
How can I determine how much of my personal life to talk about with clients?
communication consultants
edited May 10 '15 at 20:17
Elysian Fields♦
96.8k46292449
asked May 10 '15 at 16:48
Adel
3,571104180
closed as too broad by keshlam, DJClayworth, scaaahu, user9158, NotMe May 11 '15 at 15:54
Please edit the question to limit it to a specific problem with enough detail to identify an adequate answer. Avoid asking multiple distinct questions at once. See the How to Ask page for help clarifying this question. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
4
down vote
favorite
I'm working as a consultant via a large consulting firm.
I'm curious as to the personal relationship I should have with my new lead at the client-side.
For example, suppose I'm working on a graduate degree in spare time. Should I divulge this, if for example I'm taking some time off specifically to work on this
graduate degree?
How can I determine how much of my personal life to talk about with clients?
communication consultants
edited May 10 '15 at 20:17
Elysian Fields♦
96.8k46292449
asked May 10 '15 at 16:48
Adel
3,571104180
closed as too broad by keshlam, DJClayworth, scaaahu, user9158, NotMe May 11 '15 at 15:54
Please edit the question to limit it to a specific problem with enough detail to identify an adequate answer. Avoid asking multiple distinct questions at once. See the How to Ask page for help clarifying this question. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.
3
It depends. Certainly be more cautions than if you were an employee. If you have a high hourly rate then don't talk about buy a new car or house. Some thing like graduate school I would think would be safe.
– paparazzo
May 10 '15 at 17:34
5
As with any co-worker: small talk should be kept small unless there is interest on both sides in going into more detail. Judgment call, matter of opinion and individuals, so I think this winds up being somewhere between unanswerable, opinion,, too broad, and offtopic as a personal relations question.
– keshlam
May 10 '15 at 17:37
1
I would suggest to take time to build your relationship with your on-site supervisor and peers. Learn what's important to them. Listen to them. This will give you an idea of the level of formality you are expected to maintain. Your supervisor expects you to turn problems (even personal) into solutions. So, for example, instead of focusing on your reasons for needing time off, come up with a suggestions on the coverage during your absence.
– PM 77-1
May 10 '15 at 17:51
3
I edited this to make it less opinion based. I think this is a good question and one which would be worth considering the different aspects - geographic culture, company culture, and individuals - which make this a non-trivial question to answer sometimes.
– Elysian Fields♦
May 10 '15 at 20:20
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
4
down vote
favorite
up vote
4
down vote
favorite
I'm working as a consultant via a large consulting firm.
I'm curious as to the personal relationship I should have with my new lead at the client-side.
For example, suppose I'm working on a graduate degree in spare time. Should I divulge this, if for example I'm taking some time off specifically to work on this
graduate degree?
How can I determine how much of my personal life to talk about with clients?
communication consultants
edited May 10 '15 at 20:17
Elysian Fields♦
96.8k46292449
asked May 10 '15 at 16:48
Adel
3,571104180
I'm working as a consultant via a large consulting firm.
I'm curious as to the personal relationship I should have with my new lead at the client-side.
For example, suppose I'm working on a graduate degree in spare time. Should I divulge this, if for example I'm taking some time off specifically to work on this
graduate degree?
How can I determine how much of my personal life to talk about with clients?
communication consultants
edited May 10 '15 at 20:17
Elysian Fields♦
96.8k46292449
asked May 10 '15 at 16:48
Adel
3,571104180
edited May 10 '15 at 20:17
Elysian Fields♦
96.8k46292449
edited May 10 '15 at 20:17
Elysian Fields♦
96.8k46292449
edited May 10 '15 at 20:17
Elysian Fields♦
96.8k46292449
96.8k46292449
asked May 10 '15 at 16:48
Adel
3,571104180
asked May 10 '15 at 16:48
Adel
3,571104180
asked May 10 '15 at 16:48
Adel
3,571104180
3,571104180
closed as too broad by keshlam, DJClayworth, scaaahu, user9158, NotMe May 11 '15 at 15:54
Please edit the question to limit it to a specific problem with enough detail to identify an adequate answer. Avoid asking multiple distinct questions at once. See the How to Ask page for help clarifying this question. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.
closed as too broad by keshlam, DJClayworth, scaaahu, user9158, NotMe May 11 '15 at 15:54
Please edit the question to limit it to a specific problem with enough detail to identify an adequate answer. Avoid asking multiple distinct questions at once. See the How to Ask page for help clarifying this question. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.
3
It depends. Certainly be more cautions than if you were an employee. If you have a high hourly rate then don't talk about buy a new car or house. Some thing like graduate school I would think would be safe.
– paparazzo
May 10 '15 at 17:34
5
As with any co-worker: small talk should be kept small unless there is interest on both sides in going into more detail. Judgment call, matter of opinion and individuals, so I think this winds up being somewhere between unanswerable, opinion,, too broad, and offtopic as a personal relations question.
– keshlam
May 10 '15 at 17:37
1
I would suggest to take time to build your relationship with your on-site supervisor and peers. Learn what's important to them. Listen to them. This will give you an idea of the level of formality you are expected to maintain. Your supervisor expects you to turn problems (even personal) into solutions. So, for example, instead of focusing on your reasons for needing time off, come up with a suggestions on the coverage during your absence.
– PM 77-1
May 10 '15 at 17:51
3
I edited this to make it less opinion based. I think this is a good question and one which would be worth considering the different aspects - geographic culture, company culture, and individuals - which make this a non-trivial question to answer sometimes.
– Elysian Fields♦
May 10 '15 at 20:20
suggest improvements |Â
3
It depends. Certainly be more cautions than if you were an employee. If you have a high hourly rate then don't talk about buy a new car or house. Some thing like graduate school I would think would be safe.
– paparazzo
May 10 '15 at 17:34
5
As with any co-worker: small talk should be kept small unless there is interest on both sides in going into more detail. Judgment call, matter of opinion and individuals, so I think this winds up being somewhere between unanswerable, opinion,, too broad, and offtopic as a personal relations question.
– keshlam
May 10 '15 at 17:37
1
I would suggest to take time to build your relationship with your on-site supervisor and peers. Learn what's important to them. Listen to them. This will give you an idea of the level of formality you are expected to maintain. Your supervisor expects you to turn problems (even personal) into solutions. So, for example, instead of focusing on your reasons for needing time off, come up with a suggestions on the coverage during your absence.
– PM 77-1
May 10 '15 at 17:51
3
I edited this to make it less opinion based. I think this is a good question and one which would be worth considering the different aspects - geographic culture, company culture, and individuals - which make this a non-trivial question to answer sometimes.
– Elysian Fields♦
May 10 '15 at 20:20
3
3
It depends. Certainly be more cautions than if you were an employee. If you have a high hourly rate then don't talk about buy a new car or house. Some thing like graduate school I would think would be safe.
– paparazzo
May 10 '15 at 17:34
It depends. Certainly be more cautions than if you were an employee. If you have a high hourly rate then don't talk about buy a new car or house. Some thing like graduate school I would think would be safe.
– paparazzo
May 10 '15 at 17:34
5
5
As with any co-worker: small talk should be kept small unless there is interest on both sides in going into more detail. Judgment call, matter of opinion and individuals, so I think this winds up being somewhere between unanswerable, opinion,, too broad, and offtopic as a personal relations question.
– keshlam
May 10 '15 at 17:37
As with any co-worker: small talk should be kept small unless there is interest on both sides in going into more detail. Judgment call, matter of opinion and individuals, so I think this winds up being somewhere between unanswerable, opinion,, too broad, and offtopic as a personal relations question.
– keshlam
May 10 '15 at 17:37
1
1
I would suggest to take time to build your relationship with your on-site supervisor and peers. Learn what's important to them. Listen to them. This will give you an idea of the level of formality you are expected to maintain. Your supervisor expects you to turn problems (even personal) into solutions. So, for example, instead of focusing on your reasons for needing time off, come up with a suggestions on the coverage during your absence.
– PM 77-1
May 10 '15 at 17:51
I would suggest to take time to build your relationship with your on-site supervisor and peers. Learn what's important to them. Listen to them. This will give you an idea of the level of formality you are expected to maintain. Your supervisor expects you to turn problems (even personal) into solutions. So, for example, instead of focusing on your reasons for needing time off, come up with a suggestions on the coverage during your absence.
– PM 77-1
May 10 '15 at 17:51
3
3
I edited this to make it less opinion based. I think this is a good question and one which would be worth considering the different aspects - geographic culture, company culture, and individuals - which make this a non-trivial question to answer sometimes.
– Elysian Fields♦
May 10 '15 at 20:20
I edited this to make it less opinion based. I think this is a good question and one which would be worth considering the different aspects - geographic culture, company culture, and individuals - which make this a non-trivial question to answer sometimes.
– Elysian Fields♦
May 10 '15 at 20:20
suggest improvements |Â
3 Answers
3
active
oldest
votes
up vote
3
down vote
accepted
When you first meet a client it is always best to keep your personal life to a minimum. You never know what sorts of things a client has a prejudice against. A seemingly harmless comment about your hobbies, pets, or family could turn what would have become a productive relationship sour. So when first meeting a client it is safest to maintain a professional distance. If you happen to find out that you have something in common though feel free to use that to help bond, though let the client volunteer the information rather than trying to tease it out of them.
Once the relationship is established it is fine to share the basics of personal life when it seems appropriate. For the most part do you best to keep the conversations about your personal life light and positive. You should never ever air your dirty laundry around a client. When you have to miss a day for a funeral or to help a sick family member that is fine to share, but avoid sharing too much. You do not want your client to associate you with negative feelings, but sharing some empathy for a sick or passed family member is normal.
It is still going to be best to avoid any topics that might be sensitive or controversial. I once had a client that loved me and gushed about how great of work i was doing for them, turn 180 degrees after he found out that I did work for a dog rescue organization. I never understood why but one of my best references, turned negative over it. So be careful and avoid talking about any activism with or around clients.
If you do manage to become friends with a client that is a good thing. Just realize that it is still a business relationship and do your best to never put them in a position where they have to choose between the two.
answered May 11 '15 at 14:52
IDrinkandIKnowThings
43.8k1398187
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
3
down vote
There is no one true way or one true answer. It's a balancing act between what you feel conformtable with, what the client feels comfortable with, and building the trust necessary for a sucessful business relationship.
However much you share can be too much or too little depending upon circumstances that you won't be aware of until it's too late.
So, focus on what you do know - how you feel. And try to pay attention to the client, and see how they feel.
The good news is that there's a vast middle ground of "it was good enough this time" and odds are, that is what you will land.
answered May 10 '15 at 23:30
jmoreno
7,9271840
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
-4
down vote
Anything you disclose regarding your personal life can be used against you. Your employer may be friendly to you but they are not necessarily your friend.
I'd disclose personal information to the extent that it affects or may affect my performance at work. For example, if I am going for a graduate degree, I will not be available on some hours of some days and I am telling my employer so that they have a plan B in place for these hours of these days.
answered May 10 '15 at 20:32
Vietnhi Phuvan
68.9k7118254
3
Building a friendship is quite important for many business relationships, especially outside the USA. In many cultures the business relationship is very related to the personal relationship.
– Elysian Fields♦
May 10 '15 at 20:37
suggest improvements |Â
3 Answers
3
active
oldest
votes
3 Answers
3
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
up vote
3
down vote
accepted
When you first meet a client it is always best to keep your personal life to a minimum. You never know what sorts of things a client has a prejudice against. A seemingly harmless comment about your hobbies, pets, or family could turn what would have become a productive relationship sour. So when first meeting a client it is safest to maintain a professional distance. If you happen to find out that you have something in common though feel free to use that to help bond, though let the client volunteer the information rather than trying to tease it out of them.
Once the relationship is established it is fine to share the basics of personal life when it seems appropriate. For the most part do you best to keep the conversations about your personal life light and positive. You should never ever air your dirty laundry around a client. When you have to miss a day for a funeral or to help a sick family member that is fine to share, but avoid sharing too much. You do not want your client to associate you with negative feelings, but sharing some empathy for a sick or passed family member is normal.
It is still going to be best to avoid any topics that might be sensitive or controversial. I once had a client that loved me and gushed about how great of work i was doing for them, turn 180 degrees after he found out that I did work for a dog rescue organization. I never understood why but one of my best references, turned negative over it. So be careful and avoid talking about any activism with or around clients.
If you do manage to become friends with a client that is a good thing. Just realize that it is still a business relationship and do your best to never put them in a position where they have to choose between the two.
answered May 11 '15 at 14:52
IDrinkandIKnowThings
43.8k1398187
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
3
down vote
accepted
When you first meet a client it is always best to keep your personal life to a minimum. You never know what sorts of things a client has a prejudice against. A seemingly harmless comment about your hobbies, pets, or family could turn what would have become a productive relationship sour. So when first meeting a client it is safest to maintain a professional distance. If you happen to find out that you have something in common though feel free to use that to help bond, though let the client volunteer the information rather than trying to tease it out of them.
Once the relationship is established it is fine to share the basics of personal life when it seems appropriate. For the most part do you best to keep the conversations about your personal life light and positive. You should never ever air your dirty laundry around a client. When you have to miss a day for a funeral or to help a sick family member that is fine to share, but avoid sharing too much. You do not want your client to associate you with negative feelings, but sharing some empathy for a sick or passed family member is normal.
It is still going to be best to avoid any topics that might be sensitive or controversial. I once had a client that loved me and gushed about how great of work i was doing for them, turn 180 degrees after he found out that I did work for a dog rescue organization. I never understood why but one of my best references, turned negative over it. So be careful and avoid talking about any activism with or around clients.
If you do manage to become friends with a client that is a good thing. Just realize that it is still a business relationship and do your best to never put them in a position where they have to choose between the two.
answered May 11 '15 at 14:52
IDrinkandIKnowThings
43.8k1398187
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
3
down vote
accepted
up vote
3
down vote
accepted
When you first meet a client it is always best to keep your personal life to a minimum. You never know what sorts of things a client has a prejudice against. A seemingly harmless comment about your hobbies, pets, or family could turn what would have become a productive relationship sour. So when first meeting a client it is safest to maintain a professional distance. If you happen to find out that you have something in common though feel free to use that to help bond, though let the client volunteer the information rather than trying to tease it out of them.
Once the relationship is established it is fine to share the basics of personal life when it seems appropriate. For the most part do you best to keep the conversations about your personal life light and positive. You should never ever air your dirty laundry around a client. When you have to miss a day for a funeral or to help a sick family member that is fine to share, but avoid sharing too much. You do not want your client to associate you with negative feelings, but sharing some empathy for a sick or passed family member is normal.
It is still going to be best to avoid any topics that might be sensitive or controversial. I once had a client that loved me and gushed about how great of work i was doing for them, turn 180 degrees after he found out that I did work for a dog rescue organization. I never understood why but one of my best references, turned negative over it. So be careful and avoid talking about any activism with or around clients.
If you do manage to become friends with a client that is a good thing. Just realize that it is still a business relationship and do your best to never put them in a position where they have to choose between the two.
answered May 11 '15 at 14:52
IDrinkandIKnowThings
43.8k1398187
When you first meet a client it is always best to keep your personal life to a minimum. You never know what sorts of things a client has a prejudice against. A seemingly harmless comment about your hobbies, pets, or family could turn what would have become a productive relationship sour. So when first meeting a client it is safest to maintain a professional distance. If you happen to find out that you have something in common though feel free to use that to help bond, though let the client volunteer the information rather than trying to tease it out of them.
Once the relationship is established it is fine to share the basics of personal life when it seems appropriate. For the most part do you best to keep the conversations about your personal life light and positive. You should never ever air your dirty laundry around a client. When you have to miss a day for a funeral or to help a sick family member that is fine to share, but avoid sharing too much. You do not want your client to associate you with negative feelings, but sharing some empathy for a sick or passed family member is normal.
It is still going to be best to avoid any topics that might be sensitive or controversial. I once had a client that loved me and gushed about how great of work i was doing for them, turn 180 degrees after he found out that I did work for a dog rescue organization. I never understood why but one of my best references, turned negative over it. So be careful and avoid talking about any activism with or around clients.
If you do manage to become friends with a client that is a good thing. Just realize that it is still a business relationship and do your best to never put them in a position where they have to choose between the two.
answered May 11 '15 at 14:52
IDrinkandIKnowThings
43.8k1398187
answered May 11 '15 at 14:52
IDrinkandIKnowThings
43.8k1398187
answered May 11 '15 at 14:52
IDrinkandIKnowThings
43.8k1398187
answered May 11 '15 at 14:52
IDrinkandIKnowThings
43.8k1398187
43.8k1398187
suggest improvements |Â
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
3
down vote
There is no one true way or one true answer. It's a balancing act between what you feel conformtable with, what the client feels comfortable with, and building the trust necessary for a sucessful business relationship.
However much you share can be too much or too little depending upon circumstances that you won't be aware of until it's too late.
So, focus on what you do know - how you feel. And try to pay attention to the client, and see how they feel.
The good news is that there's a vast middle ground of "it was good enough this time" and odds are, that is what you will land.
answered May 10 '15 at 23:30
jmoreno
7,9271840
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
3
down vote
There is no one true way or one true answer. It's a balancing act between what you feel conformtable with, what the client feels comfortable with, and building the trust necessary for a sucessful business relationship.
However much you share can be too much or too little depending upon circumstances that you won't be aware of until it's too late.
So, focus on what you do know - how you feel. And try to pay attention to the client, and see how they feel.
The good news is that there's a vast middle ground of "it was good enough this time" and odds are, that is what you will land.
answered May 10 '15 at 23:30
jmoreno
7,9271840
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
3
down vote
up vote
3
down vote
There is no one true way or one true answer. It's a balancing act between what you feel conformtable with, what the client feels comfortable with, and building the trust necessary for a sucessful business relationship.
However much you share can be too much or too little depending upon circumstances that you won't be aware of until it's too late.
So, focus on what you do know - how you feel. And try to pay attention to the client, and see how they feel.
The good news is that there's a vast middle ground of "it was good enough this time" and odds are, that is what you will land.
answered May 10 '15 at 23:30
jmoreno
7,9271840
There is no one true way or one true answer. It's a balancing act between what you feel conformtable with, what the client feels comfortable with, and building the trust necessary for a sucessful business relationship.
However much you share can be too much or too little depending upon circumstances that you won't be aware of until it's too late.
So, focus on what you do know - how you feel. And try to pay attention to the client, and see how they feel.
The good news is that there's a vast middle ground of "it was good enough this time" and odds are, that is what you will land.
answered May 10 '15 at 23:30
jmoreno
7,9271840
answered May 10 '15 at 23:30
jmoreno
7,9271840
answered May 10 '15 at 23:30
jmoreno
7,9271840
answered May 10 '15 at 23:30
jmoreno
7,9271840
7,9271840
suggest improvements |Â
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
-4
down vote
Anything you disclose regarding your personal life can be used against you. Your employer may be friendly to you but they are not necessarily your friend.
I'd disclose personal information to the extent that it affects or may affect my performance at work. For example, if I am going for a graduate degree, I will not be available on some hours of some days and I am telling my employer so that they have a plan B in place for these hours of these days.
answered May 10 '15 at 20:32
Vietnhi Phuvan
68.9k7118254
3
Building a friendship is quite important for many business relationships, especially outside the USA. In many cultures the business relationship is very related to the personal relationship.
– Elysian Fields♦
May 10 '15 at 20:37
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
-4
down vote
Anything you disclose regarding your personal life can be used against you. Your employer may be friendly to you but they are not necessarily your friend.
I'd disclose personal information to the extent that it affects or may affect my performance at work. For example, if I am going for a graduate degree, I will not be available on some hours of some days and I am telling my employer so that they have a plan B in place for these hours of these days.
answered May 10 '15 at 20:32
Vietnhi Phuvan
68.9k7118254
3
Building a friendship is quite important for many business relationships, especially outside the USA. In many cultures the business relationship is very related to the personal relationship.
– Elysian Fields♦
May 10 '15 at 20:37
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
-4
down vote
up vote
-4
down vote
Anything you disclose regarding your personal life can be used against you. Your employer may be friendly to you but they are not necessarily your friend.
I'd disclose personal information to the extent that it affects or may affect my performance at work. For example, if I am going for a graduate degree, I will not be available on some hours of some days and I am telling my employer so that they have a plan B in place for these hours of these days.
answered May 10 '15 at 20:32
Vietnhi Phuvan
68.9k7118254
Anything you disclose regarding your personal life can be used against you. Your employer may be friendly to you but they are not necessarily your friend.
I'd disclose personal information to the extent that it affects or may affect my performance at work. For example, if I am going for a graduate degree, I will not be available on some hours of some days and I am telling my employer so that they have a plan B in place for these hours of these days.
answered May 10 '15 at 20:32
Vietnhi Phuvan
68.9k7118254
answered May 10 '15 at 20:32
Vietnhi Phuvan
68.9k7118254
answered May 10 '15 at 20:32
Vietnhi Phuvan
68.9k7118254
answered May 10 '15 at 20:32
Vietnhi Phuvan
68.9k7118254
68.9k7118254
3
Building a friendship is quite important for many business relationships, especially outside the USA. In many cultures the business relationship is very related to the personal relationship.
– Elysian Fields♦
May 10 '15 at 20:37
suggest improvements |Â
3
Building a friendship is quite important for many business relationships, especially outside the USA. In many cultures the business relationship is very related to the personal relationship.
– Elysian Fields♦
May 10 '15 at 20:37
3
3
Building a friendship is quite important for many business relationships, especially outside the USA. In many cultures the business relationship is very related to the personal relationship.
– Elysian Fields♦
May 10 '15 at 20:37
Building a friendship is quite important for many business relationships, especially outside the USA. In many cultures the business relationship is very related to the personal relationship.
– Elysian Fields♦
May 10 '15 at 20:37
suggest improvements |Â
3
It depends. Certainly be more cautions than if you were an employee. If you have a high hourly rate then don't talk about buy a new car or house. Some thing like graduate school I would think would be safe.
– paparazzo
May 10 '15 at 17:34
5
As with any co-worker: small talk should be kept small unless there is interest on both sides in going into more detail. Judgment call, matter of opinion and individuals, so I think this winds up being somewhere between unanswerable, opinion,, too broad, and offtopic as a personal relations question.
– keshlam
May 10 '15 at 17:37
1
I would suggest to take time to build your relationship with your on-site supervisor and peers. Learn what's important to them. Listen to them. This will give you an idea of the level of formality you are expected to maintain. Your supervisor expects you to turn problems (even personal) into solutions. So, for example, instead of focusing on your reasons for needing time off, come up with a suggestions on the coverage during your absence.
– PM 77-1
May 10 '15 at 17:51
3
I edited this to make it less opinion based. I think this is a good question and one which would be worth considering the different aspects - geographic culture, company culture, and individuals - which make this a non-trivial question to answer sometimes.
– Elysian Fields♦
May 10 '15 at 20:20