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How to ask for something optional subtly without appearing demanding or entitled? [closed]
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Sometimes I want to ask for something from the authority above me, and the following things hold true in the situation:
- What I am asking for is not a priority for me, and it will be fine if my wish is not complied to as well. I'd continue my work like nothing happened either way.
- The authority above me is really kind and likes to take my wishes seriously, even if I don't emphasize on them.
- It will be helpful for me (and potentially the employer as well) if that wish is granted for. It is not "fixing something which is not broken", but "improving what is good, but can be better".
- I am not entirely sure whether the authority would be able to comply to my wish easily or not.
- I do not want to put unnecessary burden on the authority since they are already kind enough.
This might not be a big issue if faced very rarely, but when repetitive, it might end up looking like I am "demanding", and ask for things unnecessarily.
Is it okay to ask for such wishes in the wild? (well it is not, but how okay is it?) And how do I do this in a subtle way while avoiding the above issues?
P.S. I am not really sure what tags to put here, so if someone can edit those, that'd be great.
management
asked Mar 10 '16 at 19:01
throw-away
91
closed as too broad by Lilienthal♦, Chris E, gnat, Myles, Dawny33 Mar 12 '16 at 3:47
Please edit the question to limit it to a specific problem with enough detail to identify an adequate answer. Avoid asking multiple distinct questions at once. See the How to Ask page for help clarifying this question. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
0
down vote
favorite
Sometimes I want to ask for something from the authority above me, and the following things hold true in the situation:
- What I am asking for is not a priority for me, and it will be fine if my wish is not complied to as well. I'd continue my work like nothing happened either way.
- The authority above me is really kind and likes to take my wishes seriously, even if I don't emphasize on them.
- It will be helpful for me (and potentially the employer as well) if that wish is granted for. It is not "fixing something which is not broken", but "improving what is good, but can be better".
- I am not entirely sure whether the authority would be able to comply to my wish easily or not.
- I do not want to put unnecessary burden on the authority since they are already kind enough.
This might not be a big issue if faced very rarely, but when repetitive, it might end up looking like I am "demanding", and ask for things unnecessarily.
Is it okay to ask for such wishes in the wild? (well it is not, but how okay is it?) And how do I do this in a subtle way while avoiding the above issues?
P.S. I am not really sure what tags to put here, so if someone can edit those, that'd be great.
management
asked Mar 10 '16 at 19:01
throw-away
91
closed as too broad by Lilienthal♦, Chris E, gnat, Myles, Dawny33 Mar 12 '16 at 3:47
Please edit the question to limit it to a specific problem with enough detail to identify an adequate answer. Avoid asking multiple distinct questions at once. See the How to Ask page for help clarifying this question. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.
1
This is likely to get closed under "Real questions have answers." Can you edit this and be more specific without too clearly identifying yourself? What is it you're asking for? How will it benefit you or the company? How costly / time consuming is it for the company to provide it?
– Wesley Long
Mar 10 '16 at 23:11
This is a very generic/theoretical question and the artificial language you use doesn't help. Voting to close for now, ping me if you want me to look into editing this to something more suited to the site.
– Lilienthal♦
Mar 11 '16 at 15:25
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
0
down vote
favorite
up vote
0
down vote
favorite
Sometimes I want to ask for something from the authority above me, and the following things hold true in the situation:
- What I am asking for is not a priority for me, and it will be fine if my wish is not complied to as well. I'd continue my work like nothing happened either way.
- The authority above me is really kind and likes to take my wishes seriously, even if I don't emphasize on them.
- It will be helpful for me (and potentially the employer as well) if that wish is granted for. It is not "fixing something which is not broken", but "improving what is good, but can be better".
- I am not entirely sure whether the authority would be able to comply to my wish easily or not.
- I do not want to put unnecessary burden on the authority since they are already kind enough.
This might not be a big issue if faced very rarely, but when repetitive, it might end up looking like I am "demanding", and ask for things unnecessarily.
Is it okay to ask for such wishes in the wild? (well it is not, but how okay is it?) And how do I do this in a subtle way while avoiding the above issues?
P.S. I am not really sure what tags to put here, so if someone can edit those, that'd be great.
management
asked Mar 10 '16 at 19:01
throw-away
91
Sometimes I want to ask for something from the authority above me, and the following things hold true in the situation:
- What I am asking for is not a priority for me, and it will be fine if my wish is not complied to as well. I'd continue my work like nothing happened either way.
- The authority above me is really kind and likes to take my wishes seriously, even if I don't emphasize on them.
- It will be helpful for me (and potentially the employer as well) if that wish is granted for. It is not "fixing something which is not broken", but "improving what is good, but can be better".
- I am not entirely sure whether the authority would be able to comply to my wish easily or not.
- I do not want to put unnecessary burden on the authority since they are already kind enough.
This might not be a big issue if faced very rarely, but when repetitive, it might end up looking like I am "demanding", and ask for things unnecessarily.
Is it okay to ask for such wishes in the wild? (well it is not, but how okay is it?) And how do I do this in a subtle way while avoiding the above issues?
P.S. I am not really sure what tags to put here, so if someone can edit those, that'd be great.
management
asked Mar 10 '16 at 19:01
throw-away
91
asked Mar 10 '16 at 19:01
throw-away
91
asked Mar 10 '16 at 19:01
throw-away
91
asked Mar 10 '16 at 19:01
throw-away
91
91
closed as too broad by Lilienthal♦, Chris E, gnat, Myles, Dawny33 Mar 12 '16 at 3:47
Please edit the question to limit it to a specific problem with enough detail to identify an adequate answer. Avoid asking multiple distinct questions at once. See the How to Ask page for help clarifying this question. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.
closed as too broad by Lilienthal♦, Chris E, gnat, Myles, Dawny33 Mar 12 '16 at 3:47
Please edit the question to limit it to a specific problem with enough detail to identify an adequate answer. Avoid asking multiple distinct questions at once. See the How to Ask page for help clarifying this question. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.
1
This is likely to get closed under "Real questions have answers." Can you edit this and be more specific without too clearly identifying yourself? What is it you're asking for? How will it benefit you or the company? How costly / time consuming is it for the company to provide it?
– Wesley Long
Mar 10 '16 at 23:11
This is a very generic/theoretical question and the artificial language you use doesn't help. Voting to close for now, ping me if you want me to look into editing this to something more suited to the site.
– Lilienthal♦
Mar 11 '16 at 15:25
suggest improvements |Â
1
This is likely to get closed under "Real questions have answers." Can you edit this and be more specific without too clearly identifying yourself? What is it you're asking for? How will it benefit you or the company? How costly / time consuming is it for the company to provide it?
– Wesley Long
Mar 10 '16 at 23:11
This is a very generic/theoretical question and the artificial language you use doesn't help. Voting to close for now, ping me if you want me to look into editing this to something more suited to the site.
– Lilienthal♦
Mar 11 '16 at 15:25
1
1
This is likely to get closed under "Real questions have answers." Can you edit this and be more specific without too clearly identifying yourself? What is it you're asking for? How will it benefit you or the company? How costly / time consuming is it for the company to provide it?
– Wesley Long
Mar 10 '16 at 23:11
This is likely to get closed under "Real questions have answers." Can you edit this and be more specific without too clearly identifying yourself? What is it you're asking for? How will it benefit you or the company? How costly / time consuming is it for the company to provide it?
– Wesley Long
Mar 10 '16 at 23:11
This is a very generic/theoretical question and the artificial language you use doesn't help. Voting to close for now, ping me if you want me to look into editing this to something more suited to the site.
– Lilienthal♦
Mar 11 '16 at 15:25
This is a very generic/theoretical question and the artificial language you use doesn't help. Voting to close for now, ping me if you want me to look into editing this to something more suited to the site.
– Lilienthal♦
Mar 11 '16 at 15:25
suggest improvements |Â
3 Answers
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up vote
3
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In this situation it is best to learn when to bite your tongue.
The reasons for this could be many, but I'll list a few off the top of my head:
1. Don't abuse their generosity
You don't want to form the perception that you are unsatisfied, or that nothing is ever enough for you. If you think that your request might distract your boss then don't do it unless it's important.
2. Can't prioritize
Other than being ungratful you can also come across as unable to prioritize. If you have an issue you should be fixing, but are talking to your boss about upgrades to system XYZ - which, incidentally, is running perfectly - then someone will eventually raise an issue.
3. Cry wolf
If you constantly approach your boss with trivial requests they may not take future, serious requests as such. Don't become that one guy who's always discussing frivolous, nice to have type of things, but never actually focuses on the issues at hand.
Approaching your boss
However, if there really is something you'd like to talk to your boss about then approach him informally (at the coffee machine) and mention your idea in the context of a more relaxed conversation.
That way, if you have a serious request and you go talk to them in their office they will understand that it's a different kind of conversation.
But seriously. Try to limit your requests to important things only.
answered Mar 10 '16 at 19:40
AndreiROM
44.1k21101173
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
1
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I don't know what you're wishing for which would make it a lot easier to answer. I'm assuming it's bigger than you wanting a new mouse pad because the old one is frayed.
My own policy is that if it doesn't mean enough to me that I'm unsure whether to ask. Then I don't ask. But I don't hesitate to ask if I am sure. The less requests the better.
answered Mar 10 '16 at 20:16
Kilisi
94.6k50216376
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
1
down vote
Always try to present any request as a "win/win".
"Hey, I've been thinking, if we can do 'X' then it will do 'Y' for the company, and it might make life easier for me as well".
Approach it in a friendly manner and never as a demand or even a request, but as an "idea" that you had.
"I've got this idea, what do you think if we...."
Respond with gratitude and appreciation and demonstrate it.
"Wow, thanks boss! Since we did 'X' I've been able to do 'Y' more work each week. I can't thank you enough."
In other words, find every advantage to the company and communicate it to them.
answered Mar 11 '16 at 14:37
Richard U
77.4k56201308
suggest improvements |Â
3 Answers
3
active
oldest
votes
3 Answers
3
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
up vote
3
down vote
In this situation it is best to learn when to bite your tongue.
The reasons for this could be many, but I'll list a few off the top of my head:
1. Don't abuse their generosity
You don't want to form the perception that you are unsatisfied, or that nothing is ever enough for you. If you think that your request might distract your boss then don't do it unless it's important.
2. Can't prioritize
Other than being ungratful you can also come across as unable to prioritize. If you have an issue you should be fixing, but are talking to your boss about upgrades to system XYZ - which, incidentally, is running perfectly - then someone will eventually raise an issue.
3. Cry wolf
If you constantly approach your boss with trivial requests they may not take future, serious requests as such. Don't become that one guy who's always discussing frivolous, nice to have type of things, but never actually focuses on the issues at hand.
Approaching your boss
However, if there really is something you'd like to talk to your boss about then approach him informally (at the coffee machine) and mention your idea in the context of a more relaxed conversation.
That way, if you have a serious request and you go talk to them in their office they will understand that it's a different kind of conversation.
But seriously. Try to limit your requests to important things only.
answered Mar 10 '16 at 19:40
AndreiROM
44.1k21101173
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
3
down vote
In this situation it is best to learn when to bite your tongue.
The reasons for this could be many, but I'll list a few off the top of my head:
1. Don't abuse their generosity
You don't want to form the perception that you are unsatisfied, or that nothing is ever enough for you. If you think that your request might distract your boss then don't do it unless it's important.
2. Can't prioritize
Other than being ungratful you can also come across as unable to prioritize. If you have an issue you should be fixing, but are talking to your boss about upgrades to system XYZ - which, incidentally, is running perfectly - then someone will eventually raise an issue.
3. Cry wolf
If you constantly approach your boss with trivial requests they may not take future, serious requests as such. Don't become that one guy who's always discussing frivolous, nice to have type of things, but never actually focuses on the issues at hand.
Approaching your boss
However, if there really is something you'd like to talk to your boss about then approach him informally (at the coffee machine) and mention your idea in the context of a more relaxed conversation.
That way, if you have a serious request and you go talk to them in their office they will understand that it's a different kind of conversation.
But seriously. Try to limit your requests to important things only.
answered Mar 10 '16 at 19:40
AndreiROM
44.1k21101173
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
3
down vote
up vote
3
down vote
In this situation it is best to learn when to bite your tongue.
The reasons for this could be many, but I'll list a few off the top of my head:
1. Don't abuse their generosity
You don't want to form the perception that you are unsatisfied, or that nothing is ever enough for you. If you think that your request might distract your boss then don't do it unless it's important.
2. Can't prioritize
Other than being ungratful you can also come across as unable to prioritize. If you have an issue you should be fixing, but are talking to your boss about upgrades to system XYZ - which, incidentally, is running perfectly - then someone will eventually raise an issue.
3. Cry wolf
If you constantly approach your boss with trivial requests they may not take future, serious requests as such. Don't become that one guy who's always discussing frivolous, nice to have type of things, but never actually focuses on the issues at hand.
Approaching your boss
However, if there really is something you'd like to talk to your boss about then approach him informally (at the coffee machine) and mention your idea in the context of a more relaxed conversation.
That way, if you have a serious request and you go talk to them in their office they will understand that it's a different kind of conversation.
But seriously. Try to limit your requests to important things only.
answered Mar 10 '16 at 19:40
AndreiROM
44.1k21101173
In this situation it is best to learn when to bite your tongue.
The reasons for this could be many, but I'll list a few off the top of my head:
1. Don't abuse their generosity
You don't want to form the perception that you are unsatisfied, or that nothing is ever enough for you. If you think that your request might distract your boss then don't do it unless it's important.
2. Can't prioritize
Other than being ungratful you can also come across as unable to prioritize. If you have an issue you should be fixing, but are talking to your boss about upgrades to system XYZ - which, incidentally, is running perfectly - then someone will eventually raise an issue.
3. Cry wolf
If you constantly approach your boss with trivial requests they may not take future, serious requests as such. Don't become that one guy who's always discussing frivolous, nice to have type of things, but never actually focuses on the issues at hand.
Approaching your boss
However, if there really is something you'd like to talk to your boss about then approach him informally (at the coffee machine) and mention your idea in the context of a more relaxed conversation.
That way, if you have a serious request and you go talk to them in their office they will understand that it's a different kind of conversation.
But seriously. Try to limit your requests to important things only.
answered Mar 10 '16 at 19:40
AndreiROM
44.1k21101173
answered Mar 10 '16 at 19:40
AndreiROM
44.1k21101173
answered Mar 10 '16 at 19:40
AndreiROM
44.1k21101173
answered Mar 10 '16 at 19:40
AndreiROM
44.1k21101173
44.1k21101173
suggest improvements |Â
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
1
down vote
I don't know what you're wishing for which would make it a lot easier to answer. I'm assuming it's bigger than you wanting a new mouse pad because the old one is frayed.
My own policy is that if it doesn't mean enough to me that I'm unsure whether to ask. Then I don't ask. But I don't hesitate to ask if I am sure. The less requests the better.
answered Mar 10 '16 at 20:16
Kilisi
94.6k50216376
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
1
down vote
I don't know what you're wishing for which would make it a lot easier to answer. I'm assuming it's bigger than you wanting a new mouse pad because the old one is frayed.
My own policy is that if it doesn't mean enough to me that I'm unsure whether to ask. Then I don't ask. But I don't hesitate to ask if I am sure. The less requests the better.
answered Mar 10 '16 at 20:16
Kilisi
94.6k50216376
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
1
down vote
up vote
1
down vote
I don't know what you're wishing for which would make it a lot easier to answer. I'm assuming it's bigger than you wanting a new mouse pad because the old one is frayed.
My own policy is that if it doesn't mean enough to me that I'm unsure whether to ask. Then I don't ask. But I don't hesitate to ask if I am sure. The less requests the better.
answered Mar 10 '16 at 20:16
Kilisi
94.6k50216376
I don't know what you're wishing for which would make it a lot easier to answer. I'm assuming it's bigger than you wanting a new mouse pad because the old one is frayed.
My own policy is that if it doesn't mean enough to me that I'm unsure whether to ask. Then I don't ask. But I don't hesitate to ask if I am sure. The less requests the better.
answered Mar 10 '16 at 20:16
Kilisi
94.6k50216376
answered Mar 10 '16 at 20:16
Kilisi
94.6k50216376
answered Mar 10 '16 at 20:16
Kilisi
94.6k50216376
answered Mar 10 '16 at 20:16
Kilisi
94.6k50216376
94.6k50216376
suggest improvements |Â
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
1
down vote
Always try to present any request as a "win/win".
"Hey, I've been thinking, if we can do 'X' then it will do 'Y' for the company, and it might make life easier for me as well".
Approach it in a friendly manner and never as a demand or even a request, but as an "idea" that you had.
"I've got this idea, what do you think if we...."
Respond with gratitude and appreciation and demonstrate it.
"Wow, thanks boss! Since we did 'X' I've been able to do 'Y' more work each week. I can't thank you enough."
In other words, find every advantage to the company and communicate it to them.
answered Mar 11 '16 at 14:37
Richard U
77.4k56201308
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
1
down vote
Always try to present any request as a "win/win".
"Hey, I've been thinking, if we can do 'X' then it will do 'Y' for the company, and it might make life easier for me as well".
Approach it in a friendly manner and never as a demand or even a request, but as an "idea" that you had.
"I've got this idea, what do you think if we...."
Respond with gratitude and appreciation and demonstrate it.
"Wow, thanks boss! Since we did 'X' I've been able to do 'Y' more work each week. I can't thank you enough."
In other words, find every advantage to the company and communicate it to them.
answered Mar 11 '16 at 14:37
Richard U
77.4k56201308
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
1
down vote
up vote
1
down vote
Always try to present any request as a "win/win".
"Hey, I've been thinking, if we can do 'X' then it will do 'Y' for the company, and it might make life easier for me as well".
Approach it in a friendly manner and never as a demand or even a request, but as an "idea" that you had.
"I've got this idea, what do you think if we...."
Respond with gratitude and appreciation and demonstrate it.
"Wow, thanks boss! Since we did 'X' I've been able to do 'Y' more work each week. I can't thank you enough."
In other words, find every advantage to the company and communicate it to them.
answered Mar 11 '16 at 14:37
Richard U
77.4k56201308
Always try to present any request as a "win/win".
"Hey, I've been thinking, if we can do 'X' then it will do 'Y' for the company, and it might make life easier for me as well".
Approach it in a friendly manner and never as a demand or even a request, but as an "idea" that you had.
"I've got this idea, what do you think if we...."
Respond with gratitude and appreciation and demonstrate it.
"Wow, thanks boss! Since we did 'X' I've been able to do 'Y' more work each week. I can't thank you enough."
In other words, find every advantage to the company and communicate it to them.
answered Mar 11 '16 at 14:37
Richard U
77.4k56201308
answered Mar 11 '16 at 14:37
Richard U
77.4k56201308
answered Mar 11 '16 at 14:37
Richard U
77.4k56201308
answered Mar 11 '16 at 14:37
Richard U
77.4k56201308
77.4k56201308
suggest improvements |Â
suggest improvements |Â
1
This is likely to get closed under "Real questions have answers." Can you edit this and be more specific without too clearly identifying yourself? What is it you're asking for? How will it benefit you or the company? How costly / time consuming is it for the company to provide it?
– Wesley Long
Mar 10 '16 at 23:11
This is a very generic/theoretical question and the artificial language you use doesn't help. Voting to close for now, ping me if you want me to look into editing this to something more suited to the site.
– Lilienthal♦
Mar 11 '16 at 15:25