Mixing
Working at the same place as family
Clash Royale CLAN TAG#URR8PPP
.everyoneloves__top-leaderboard:empty,.everyoneloves__mid-leaderboard:empty margin-bottom:0;
up vote
5
down vote
favorite
I recently got an internship that has potential to be full time employee which I would like. the good and bad thing is I work at the same place as my brother-in-law and my father-in-law. I get along with them great and I don't work under either of them. The bad thing is how do I act at the work place vs at their homes and should I avoid moving into their departments?
work-environment work-life-balance
asked Apr 12 '13 at 23:14
Michael Davis
3215
add a comment |Â
up vote
5
down vote
favorite
I recently got an internship that has potential to be full time employee which I would like. the good and bad thing is I work at the same place as my brother-in-law and my father-in-law. I get along with them great and I don't work under either of them. The bad thing is how do I act at the work place vs at their homes and should I avoid moving into their departments?
work-environment work-life-balance
asked Apr 12 '13 at 23:14
Michael Davis
3215
Don't work in their departments. There is a change things blow way up and you really don't want this situation, even if it's a small chance... staying outside their organizational/management structure is the best for those relationships. Could it work? Sure. But do you want to gamble your relationship with your father/brother in-law over something avoidable?
– Elysian Fields♦
Apr 13 '13 at 12:23
1
From my experience, this is not the same problem as working in the same place as your spouse, though they have common elements. Parent/child or sibling/sibling brings a different dynamic and can be more "distant". Even so, though, it depends a lot on the people and personalities involved; I worked with my father once and that was fine (healthy relationship already, no drama, respectful), but I would never work with certain in-laws because they're drama magnets.
– Monica Cellio♦
Apr 15 '13 at 14:48
add a comment |Â
up vote
5
down vote
favorite
up vote
5
down vote
favorite
I recently got an internship that has potential to be full time employee which I would like. the good and bad thing is I work at the same place as my brother-in-law and my father-in-law. I get along with them great and I don't work under either of them. The bad thing is how do I act at the work place vs at their homes and should I avoid moving into their departments?
work-environment work-life-balance
asked Apr 12 '13 at 23:14
Michael Davis
3215
I recently got an internship that has potential to be full time employee which I would like. the good and bad thing is I work at the same place as my brother-in-law and my father-in-law. I get along with them great and I don't work under either of them. The bad thing is how do I act at the work place vs at their homes and should I avoid moving into their departments?
work-environment work-life-balance
asked Apr 12 '13 at 23:14
Michael Davis
3215
asked Apr 12 '13 at 23:14
Michael Davis
3215
asked Apr 12 '13 at 23:14
Michael Davis
3215
asked Apr 12 '13 at 23:14
Michael Davis
3215
3215
Don't work in their departments. There is a change things blow way up and you really don't want this situation, even if it's a small chance... staying outside their organizational/management structure is the best for those relationships. Could it work? Sure. But do you want to gamble your relationship with your father/brother in-law over something avoidable?
– Elysian Fields♦
Apr 13 '13 at 12:23
1
From my experience, this is not the same problem as working in the same place as your spouse, though they have common elements. Parent/child or sibling/sibling brings a different dynamic and can be more "distant". Even so, though, it depends a lot on the people and personalities involved; I worked with my father once and that was fine (healthy relationship already, no drama, respectful), but I would never work with certain in-laws because they're drama magnets.
– Monica Cellio♦
Apr 15 '13 at 14:48
add a comment |Â
Don't work in their departments. There is a change things blow way up and you really don't want this situation, even if it's a small chance... staying outside their organizational/management structure is the best for those relationships. Could it work? Sure. But do you want to gamble your relationship with your father/brother in-law over something avoidable?
– Elysian Fields♦
Apr 13 '13 at 12:23
1
From my experience, this is not the same problem as working in the same place as your spouse, though they have common elements. Parent/child or sibling/sibling brings a different dynamic and can be more "distant". Even so, though, it depends a lot on the people and personalities involved; I worked with my father once and that was fine (healthy relationship already, no drama, respectful), but I would never work with certain in-laws because they're drama magnets.
– Monica Cellio♦
Apr 15 '13 at 14:48
Don't work in their departments. There is a change things blow way up and you really don't want this situation, even if it's a small chance... staying outside their organizational/management structure is the best for those relationships. Could it work? Sure. But do you want to gamble your relationship with your father/brother in-law over something avoidable?
– Elysian Fields♦
Apr 13 '13 at 12:23
Don't work in their departments. There is a change things blow way up and you really don't want this situation, even if it's a small chance... staying outside their organizational/management structure is the best for those relationships. Could it work? Sure. But do you want to gamble your relationship with your father/brother in-law over something avoidable?
– Elysian Fields♦
Apr 13 '13 at 12:23
1
1
From my experience, this is not the same problem as working in the same place as your spouse, though they have common elements. Parent/child or sibling/sibling brings a different dynamic and can be more "distant". Even so, though, it depends a lot on the people and personalities involved; I worked with my father once and that was fine (healthy relationship already, no drama, respectful), but I would never work with certain in-laws because they're drama magnets.
– Monica Cellio♦
Apr 15 '13 at 14:48
From my experience, this is not the same problem as working in the same place as your spouse, though they have common elements. Parent/child or sibling/sibling brings a different dynamic and can be more "distant". Even so, though, it depends a lot on the people and personalities involved; I worked with my father once and that was fine (healthy relationship already, no drama, respectful), but I would never work with certain in-laws because they're drama magnets.
– Monica Cellio♦
Apr 15 '13 at 14:48
add a comment |Â
2 Answers
2
active
oldest
votes
up vote
5
down vote
accepted
As an intern of course you will go where assigned to go, but do not specifically ask to go to their departments. You will have more respect if you stay away from the family connection and make your own reputation based on your own contribution.
Working for or with one of them puts everyone in an awkward situation. Not only you and your relative, but all the co-workers who will think you are getting special treatment and who may feel that their voices are heard less than your inexperienced one and it will (close to a 100% chance) cause them to resent you.
It may seem unfair (Welcome to the real world where life is unfair!), but you may have to work a bit harder to show the other employees that you are not taking advantage of the relationship with family members to get a job you aren't qualified for or cannot actually do (I'm not saying you personally aren't qualified, but that people may assume you aren't).
Too many people have seen this type of nepotism and it is up to you to dispell it in your case; many won't give you the benefit of the doubt. The higher up your relatives are, the more likely that you will start start with an immediate black mark against you in the minds of many of your co-workers.
One thing that will cause them to lose respect for you is to appeal to the relative for help or special treatment especially if you make a mistake (as all new employees tend to do). Don't try to get out your reponsibilty for your performance by presuming on the relationship and you should be fine.
I'm not trying to scare you so much as warn you that the work world has complex politics and you could be put in the middle inadvertently and you need to to take care not to be. Be especially careful not to pass any negative feelings about your boss or co-workers on to your relatives.
answered Apr 15 '13 at 14:35
HLGEM
133k25227489
add a comment |Â
up vote
7
down vote
You're right that this can be both a good and a bad thing, and the results depend on two factors, your behavior, which you can control, and your family's behavior, which you cannot control.
To avoid creating an awkward environment, it's best to stay professional and keep conversations work-related. Most of the sibling co-workers and parent/child co-workers I've known don't put the spotlight on their status. They leave the family drama at home and remain professional. The focus is on the work. In places where the business isn't family owned, unless you talked to these people, you wouldn't know they were family. When you're an employee and not part of the the owner's family, the drama tends to be nonexistent because your jobs, and the amount of respect you get, may depend on it.
In family owned businesses, these rules are out the window, as I've observed that there's more family drama in these establishments, which can make it awkward for a non-family member who gets caught in the middle of any drama. Lucky for you, it sounds like your in-laws are simply colleagues, and not descendants of the owner.
To help set the tone of professionalism from the beginning, you may want to call your father in law by his name if you'll be working in a corporate or medium to larger sized business. Calling him "Dad" in the office may be awkward and may draw attention to a power dynamic that exists in the family but that doesn't exist in the workplace. If it's a smaller organization where everyone knows everyone, then this might make things more awkward. You may want to discuss this with him prior to the first day so there are no surprises.
On the first day, you might find it helpful to keep your conversations with them short and work-related. You'll likely be kept busy by your manager with introductions and overviews of what you'll be doing, and you don't want to appear distracted by socializing.
Once you get settled in and get a feel for the office culture, you may find different ways of handling your interactions with your in-laws and determine whether or not casual conversation can include family business. Just make sure you don't make anyone else feel uncomfortable or allow yourself to feel uncomfortable.
answered Apr 13 '13 at 3:06
jmort253♦
10.4k54376
add a comment |Â
2 Answers
2
active
oldest
votes
2 Answers
2
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
up vote
5
down vote
accepted
As an intern of course you will go where assigned to go, but do not specifically ask to go to their departments. You will have more respect if you stay away from the family connection and make your own reputation based on your own contribution.
Working for or with one of them puts everyone in an awkward situation. Not only you and your relative, but all the co-workers who will think you are getting special treatment and who may feel that their voices are heard less than your inexperienced one and it will (close to a 100% chance) cause them to resent you.
It may seem unfair (Welcome to the real world where life is unfair!), but you may have to work a bit harder to show the other employees that you are not taking advantage of the relationship with family members to get a job you aren't qualified for or cannot actually do (I'm not saying you personally aren't qualified, but that people may assume you aren't).
Too many people have seen this type of nepotism and it is up to you to dispell it in your case; many won't give you the benefit of the doubt. The higher up your relatives are, the more likely that you will start start with an immediate black mark against you in the minds of many of your co-workers.
One thing that will cause them to lose respect for you is to appeal to the relative for help or special treatment especially if you make a mistake (as all new employees tend to do). Don't try to get out your reponsibilty for your performance by presuming on the relationship and you should be fine.
I'm not trying to scare you so much as warn you that the work world has complex politics and you could be put in the middle inadvertently and you need to to take care not to be. Be especially careful not to pass any negative feelings about your boss or co-workers on to your relatives.
answered Apr 15 '13 at 14:35
HLGEM
133k25227489
add a comment |Â
up vote
5
down vote
accepted
As an intern of course you will go where assigned to go, but do not specifically ask to go to their departments. You will have more respect if you stay away from the family connection and make your own reputation based on your own contribution.
Working for or with one of them puts everyone in an awkward situation. Not only you and your relative, but all the co-workers who will think you are getting special treatment and who may feel that their voices are heard less than your inexperienced one and it will (close to a 100% chance) cause them to resent you.
It may seem unfair (Welcome to the real world where life is unfair!), but you may have to work a bit harder to show the other employees that you are not taking advantage of the relationship with family members to get a job you aren't qualified for or cannot actually do (I'm not saying you personally aren't qualified, but that people may assume you aren't).
Too many people have seen this type of nepotism and it is up to you to dispell it in your case; many won't give you the benefit of the doubt. The higher up your relatives are, the more likely that you will start start with an immediate black mark against you in the minds of many of your co-workers.
One thing that will cause them to lose respect for you is to appeal to the relative for help or special treatment especially if you make a mistake (as all new employees tend to do). Don't try to get out your reponsibilty for your performance by presuming on the relationship and you should be fine.
I'm not trying to scare you so much as warn you that the work world has complex politics and you could be put in the middle inadvertently and you need to to take care not to be. Be especially careful not to pass any negative feelings about your boss or co-workers on to your relatives.
answered Apr 15 '13 at 14:35
HLGEM
133k25227489
add a comment |Â
up vote
5
down vote
accepted
up vote
5
down vote
accepted
As an intern of course you will go where assigned to go, but do not specifically ask to go to their departments. You will have more respect if you stay away from the family connection and make your own reputation based on your own contribution.
Working for or with one of them puts everyone in an awkward situation. Not only you and your relative, but all the co-workers who will think you are getting special treatment and who may feel that their voices are heard less than your inexperienced one and it will (close to a 100% chance) cause them to resent you.
It may seem unfair (Welcome to the real world where life is unfair!), but you may have to work a bit harder to show the other employees that you are not taking advantage of the relationship with family members to get a job you aren't qualified for or cannot actually do (I'm not saying you personally aren't qualified, but that people may assume you aren't).
Too many people have seen this type of nepotism and it is up to you to dispell it in your case; many won't give you the benefit of the doubt. The higher up your relatives are, the more likely that you will start start with an immediate black mark against you in the minds of many of your co-workers.
One thing that will cause them to lose respect for you is to appeal to the relative for help or special treatment especially if you make a mistake (as all new employees tend to do). Don't try to get out your reponsibilty for your performance by presuming on the relationship and you should be fine.
I'm not trying to scare you so much as warn you that the work world has complex politics and you could be put in the middle inadvertently and you need to to take care not to be. Be especially careful not to pass any negative feelings about your boss or co-workers on to your relatives.
answered Apr 15 '13 at 14:35
HLGEM
133k25227489
As an intern of course you will go where assigned to go, but do not specifically ask to go to their departments. You will have more respect if you stay away from the family connection and make your own reputation based on your own contribution.
Working for or with one of them puts everyone in an awkward situation. Not only you and your relative, but all the co-workers who will think you are getting special treatment and who may feel that their voices are heard less than your inexperienced one and it will (close to a 100% chance) cause them to resent you.
It may seem unfair (Welcome to the real world where life is unfair!), but you may have to work a bit harder to show the other employees that you are not taking advantage of the relationship with family members to get a job you aren't qualified for or cannot actually do (I'm not saying you personally aren't qualified, but that people may assume you aren't).
Too many people have seen this type of nepotism and it is up to you to dispell it in your case; many won't give you the benefit of the doubt. The higher up your relatives are, the more likely that you will start start with an immediate black mark against you in the minds of many of your co-workers.
One thing that will cause them to lose respect for you is to appeal to the relative for help or special treatment especially if you make a mistake (as all new employees tend to do). Don't try to get out your reponsibilty for your performance by presuming on the relationship and you should be fine.
I'm not trying to scare you so much as warn you that the work world has complex politics and you could be put in the middle inadvertently and you need to to take care not to be. Be especially careful not to pass any negative feelings about your boss or co-workers on to your relatives.
answered Apr 15 '13 at 14:35
HLGEM
133k25227489
answered Apr 15 '13 at 14:35
HLGEM
133k25227489
answered Apr 15 '13 at 14:35
HLGEM
133k25227489
answered Apr 15 '13 at 14:35
HLGEM
133k25227489
133k25227489
add a comment |Â
add a comment |Â
up vote
7
down vote
You're right that this can be both a good and a bad thing, and the results depend on two factors, your behavior, which you can control, and your family's behavior, which you cannot control.
To avoid creating an awkward environment, it's best to stay professional and keep conversations work-related. Most of the sibling co-workers and parent/child co-workers I've known don't put the spotlight on their status. They leave the family drama at home and remain professional. The focus is on the work. In places where the business isn't family owned, unless you talked to these people, you wouldn't know they were family. When you're an employee and not part of the the owner's family, the drama tends to be nonexistent because your jobs, and the amount of respect you get, may depend on it.
In family owned businesses, these rules are out the window, as I've observed that there's more family drama in these establishments, which can make it awkward for a non-family member who gets caught in the middle of any drama. Lucky for you, it sounds like your in-laws are simply colleagues, and not descendants of the owner.
To help set the tone of professionalism from the beginning, you may want to call your father in law by his name if you'll be working in a corporate or medium to larger sized business. Calling him "Dad" in the office may be awkward and may draw attention to a power dynamic that exists in the family but that doesn't exist in the workplace. If it's a smaller organization where everyone knows everyone, then this might make things more awkward. You may want to discuss this with him prior to the first day so there are no surprises.
On the first day, you might find it helpful to keep your conversations with them short and work-related. You'll likely be kept busy by your manager with introductions and overviews of what you'll be doing, and you don't want to appear distracted by socializing.
Once you get settled in and get a feel for the office culture, you may find different ways of handling your interactions with your in-laws and determine whether or not casual conversation can include family business. Just make sure you don't make anyone else feel uncomfortable or allow yourself to feel uncomfortable.
answered Apr 13 '13 at 3:06
jmort253♦
10.4k54376
add a comment |Â
up vote
7
down vote
You're right that this can be both a good and a bad thing, and the results depend on two factors, your behavior, which you can control, and your family's behavior, which you cannot control.
To avoid creating an awkward environment, it's best to stay professional and keep conversations work-related. Most of the sibling co-workers and parent/child co-workers I've known don't put the spotlight on their status. They leave the family drama at home and remain professional. The focus is on the work. In places where the business isn't family owned, unless you talked to these people, you wouldn't know they were family. When you're an employee and not part of the the owner's family, the drama tends to be nonexistent because your jobs, and the amount of respect you get, may depend on it.
In family owned businesses, these rules are out the window, as I've observed that there's more family drama in these establishments, which can make it awkward for a non-family member who gets caught in the middle of any drama. Lucky for you, it sounds like your in-laws are simply colleagues, and not descendants of the owner.
To help set the tone of professionalism from the beginning, you may want to call your father in law by his name if you'll be working in a corporate or medium to larger sized business. Calling him "Dad" in the office may be awkward and may draw attention to a power dynamic that exists in the family but that doesn't exist in the workplace. If it's a smaller organization where everyone knows everyone, then this might make things more awkward. You may want to discuss this with him prior to the first day so there are no surprises.
On the first day, you might find it helpful to keep your conversations with them short and work-related. You'll likely be kept busy by your manager with introductions and overviews of what you'll be doing, and you don't want to appear distracted by socializing.
Once you get settled in and get a feel for the office culture, you may find different ways of handling your interactions with your in-laws and determine whether or not casual conversation can include family business. Just make sure you don't make anyone else feel uncomfortable or allow yourself to feel uncomfortable.
answered Apr 13 '13 at 3:06
jmort253♦
10.4k54376
add a comment |Â
up vote
7
down vote
up vote
7
down vote
You're right that this can be both a good and a bad thing, and the results depend on two factors, your behavior, which you can control, and your family's behavior, which you cannot control.
To avoid creating an awkward environment, it's best to stay professional and keep conversations work-related. Most of the sibling co-workers and parent/child co-workers I've known don't put the spotlight on their status. They leave the family drama at home and remain professional. The focus is on the work. In places where the business isn't family owned, unless you talked to these people, you wouldn't know they were family. When you're an employee and not part of the the owner's family, the drama tends to be nonexistent because your jobs, and the amount of respect you get, may depend on it.
In family owned businesses, these rules are out the window, as I've observed that there's more family drama in these establishments, which can make it awkward for a non-family member who gets caught in the middle of any drama. Lucky for you, it sounds like your in-laws are simply colleagues, and not descendants of the owner.
To help set the tone of professionalism from the beginning, you may want to call your father in law by his name if you'll be working in a corporate or medium to larger sized business. Calling him "Dad" in the office may be awkward and may draw attention to a power dynamic that exists in the family but that doesn't exist in the workplace. If it's a smaller organization where everyone knows everyone, then this might make things more awkward. You may want to discuss this with him prior to the first day so there are no surprises.
On the first day, you might find it helpful to keep your conversations with them short and work-related. You'll likely be kept busy by your manager with introductions and overviews of what you'll be doing, and you don't want to appear distracted by socializing.
Once you get settled in and get a feel for the office culture, you may find different ways of handling your interactions with your in-laws and determine whether or not casual conversation can include family business. Just make sure you don't make anyone else feel uncomfortable or allow yourself to feel uncomfortable.
answered Apr 13 '13 at 3:06
jmort253♦
10.4k54376
You're right that this can be both a good and a bad thing, and the results depend on two factors, your behavior, which you can control, and your family's behavior, which you cannot control.
To avoid creating an awkward environment, it's best to stay professional and keep conversations work-related. Most of the sibling co-workers and parent/child co-workers I've known don't put the spotlight on their status. They leave the family drama at home and remain professional. The focus is on the work. In places where the business isn't family owned, unless you talked to these people, you wouldn't know they were family. When you're an employee and not part of the the owner's family, the drama tends to be nonexistent because your jobs, and the amount of respect you get, may depend on it.
In family owned businesses, these rules are out the window, as I've observed that there's more family drama in these establishments, which can make it awkward for a non-family member who gets caught in the middle of any drama. Lucky for you, it sounds like your in-laws are simply colleagues, and not descendants of the owner.
To help set the tone of professionalism from the beginning, you may want to call your father in law by his name if you'll be working in a corporate or medium to larger sized business. Calling him "Dad" in the office may be awkward and may draw attention to a power dynamic that exists in the family but that doesn't exist in the workplace. If it's a smaller organization where everyone knows everyone, then this might make things more awkward. You may want to discuss this with him prior to the first day so there are no surprises.
On the first day, you might find it helpful to keep your conversations with them short and work-related. You'll likely be kept busy by your manager with introductions and overviews of what you'll be doing, and you don't want to appear distracted by socializing.
Once you get settled in and get a feel for the office culture, you may find different ways of handling your interactions with your in-laws and determine whether or not casual conversation can include family business. Just make sure you don't make anyone else feel uncomfortable or allow yourself to feel uncomfortable.
answered Apr 13 '13 at 3:06
jmort253♦
10.4k54376
answered Apr 13 '13 at 3:06
jmort253♦
10.4k54376
answered Apr 13 '13 at 3:06
jmort253♦
10.4k54376
answered Apr 13 '13 at 3:06
jmort253♦
10.4k54376
10.4k54376
add a comment |Â
add a comment |Â
Sign up or log in
StackExchange.ready(function ()
StackExchange.helpers.onClickDraftSave('#login-link');
);
Sign up using Google
Sign up using Facebook
Sign up using Email and Password
Post as a guest
StackExchange.ready(
function ()
StackExchange.openid.initPostLogin('.new-post-login', 'https%3a%2f%2fworkplace.stackexchange.com%2fquestions%2f11057%2fworking-at-the-same-place-as-family%23new-answer', 'question_page');
);
Post as a guest
Sign up or log in
StackExchange.ready(function ()
StackExchange.helpers.onClickDraftSave('#login-link');
);
Sign up using Google
Sign up using Facebook
Sign up using Email and Password
Post as a guest
Sign up or log in
StackExchange.ready(function ()
StackExchange.helpers.onClickDraftSave('#login-link');
);
Sign up using Google
Sign up using Facebook
Sign up using Email and Password
Post as a guest
Sign up or log in
StackExchange.ready(function ()
StackExchange.helpers.onClickDraftSave('#login-link');
);
Sign up using Google
Sign up using Facebook
Sign up using Email and Password
Sign up using Google
Sign up using Facebook
Sign up using Email and Password
Don't work in their departments. There is a change things blow way up and you really don't want this situation, even if it's a small chance... staying outside their organizational/management structure is the best for those relationships. Could it work? Sure. But do you want to gamble your relationship with your father/brother in-law over something avoidable?
– Elysian Fields♦
Apr 13 '13 at 12:23
1
From my experience, this is not the same problem as working in the same place as your spouse, though they have common elements. Parent/child or sibling/sibling brings a different dynamic and can be more "distant". Even so, though, it depends a lot on the people and personalities involved; I worked with my father once and that was fine (healthy relationship already, no drama, respectful), but I would never work with certain in-laws because they're drama magnets.
– Monica Cellio♦
Apr 15 '13 at 14:48