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How to meet former boss with who I have good relationship while I am in trouble?
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I have a good work relationship with my former boss, who is now an influential person in upper management. Once, I was in a jam at work, he helped me to resolve the issue when I asked for help. Later, I moved to a different site.
After a long span of time, I have returned to the same site as him, and have thought it a good idea to socialize with him. Since he is so busy, I have not been able to meet with him.
However, I have a chance to meet with him soon. Unfortunately, I am again in trouble at work, and in a needy situation. He is definitely going to ask me about my situation at work when I meet him, and I can not hide those details. Even if I hide them, he may find out some time later through other channels.
If I mention my current problem, he might think that I am meeting him when only I am in trouble, which is untrue. How can I maintain a healthy situation in such a way that he doesn't become suspicious?
If I delay our meeting, I'm not sure when I'll get his time to meet again.
software-industry relationships
edited May 18 '16 at 3:46
Xavier J
26.3k104797
asked Nov 28 '12 at 11:54
Ramya
88421130
add a comment |Â
up vote
9
down vote
favorite
I have a good work relationship with my former boss, who is now an influential person in upper management. Once, I was in a jam at work, he helped me to resolve the issue when I asked for help. Later, I moved to a different site.
After a long span of time, I have returned to the same site as him, and have thought it a good idea to socialize with him. Since he is so busy, I have not been able to meet with him.
However, I have a chance to meet with him soon. Unfortunately, I am again in trouble at work, and in a needy situation. He is definitely going to ask me about my situation at work when I meet him, and I can not hide those details. Even if I hide them, he may find out some time later through other channels.
If I mention my current problem, he might think that I am meeting him when only I am in trouble, which is untrue. How can I maintain a healthy situation in such a way that he doesn't become suspicious?
If I delay our meeting, I'm not sure when I'll get his time to meet again.
software-industry relationships
edited May 18 '16 at 3:46
Xavier J
26.3k104797
asked Nov 28 '12 at 11:54
Ramya
88421130
4
I think the answer to this question is to get your act together and prioritize your goals and review policies so you don't find yourself in trouble at work. When I'm doing well at work, my boss wants to talk about things outside of work(personal likes, hobbies) but if I mess up, it's all about work....
– Jeff
Nov 28 '12 at 21:29
add a comment |Â
up vote
9
down vote
favorite
up vote
9
down vote
favorite
I have a good work relationship with my former boss, who is now an influential person in upper management. Once, I was in a jam at work, he helped me to resolve the issue when I asked for help. Later, I moved to a different site.
After a long span of time, I have returned to the same site as him, and have thought it a good idea to socialize with him. Since he is so busy, I have not been able to meet with him.
However, I have a chance to meet with him soon. Unfortunately, I am again in trouble at work, and in a needy situation. He is definitely going to ask me about my situation at work when I meet him, and I can not hide those details. Even if I hide them, he may find out some time later through other channels.
If I mention my current problem, he might think that I am meeting him when only I am in trouble, which is untrue. How can I maintain a healthy situation in such a way that he doesn't become suspicious?
If I delay our meeting, I'm not sure when I'll get his time to meet again.
software-industry relationships
edited May 18 '16 at 3:46
Xavier J
26.3k104797
asked Nov 28 '12 at 11:54
Ramya
88421130
I have a good work relationship with my former boss, who is now an influential person in upper management. Once, I was in a jam at work, he helped me to resolve the issue when I asked for help. Later, I moved to a different site.
After a long span of time, I have returned to the same site as him, and have thought it a good idea to socialize with him. Since he is so busy, I have not been able to meet with him.
However, I have a chance to meet with him soon. Unfortunately, I am again in trouble at work, and in a needy situation. He is definitely going to ask me about my situation at work when I meet him, and I can not hide those details. Even if I hide them, he may find out some time later through other channels.
If I mention my current problem, he might think that I am meeting him when only I am in trouble, which is untrue. How can I maintain a healthy situation in such a way that he doesn't become suspicious?
If I delay our meeting, I'm not sure when I'll get his time to meet again.
software-industry relationships
edited May 18 '16 at 3:46
Xavier J
26.3k104797
asked Nov 28 '12 at 11:54
Ramya
88421130
edited May 18 '16 at 3:46
Xavier J
26.3k104797
edited May 18 '16 at 3:46
Xavier J
26.3k104797
edited May 18 '16 at 3:46
Xavier J
26.3k104797
26.3k104797
asked Nov 28 '12 at 11:54
Ramya
88421130
asked Nov 28 '12 at 11:54
Ramya
88421130
asked Nov 28 '12 at 11:54
Ramya
88421130
88421130
4
I think the answer to this question is to get your act together and prioritize your goals and review policies so you don't find yourself in trouble at work. When I'm doing well at work, my boss wants to talk about things outside of work(personal likes, hobbies) but if I mess up, it's all about work....
– Jeff
Nov 28 '12 at 21:29
add a comment |Â
4
I think the answer to this question is to get your act together and prioritize your goals and review policies so you don't find yourself in trouble at work. When I'm doing well at work, my boss wants to talk about things outside of work(personal likes, hobbies) but if I mess up, it's all about work....
– Jeff
Nov 28 '12 at 21:29
4
4
I think the answer to this question is to get your act together and prioritize your goals and review policies so you don't find yourself in trouble at work. When I'm doing well at work, my boss wants to talk about things outside of work(personal likes, hobbies) but if I mess up, it's all about work....
– Jeff
Nov 28 '12 at 21:29
I think the answer to this question is to get your act together and prioritize your goals and review policies so you don't find yourself in trouble at work. When I'm doing well at work, my boss wants to talk about things outside of work(personal likes, hobbies) but if I mess up, it's all about work....
– Jeff
Nov 28 '12 at 21:29
add a comment |Â
4 Answers
4
active
oldest
votes
up vote
1
down vote
accepted
Go and meet him. Take good care that the discussion doesn't go to that topic.
When the topic comes in the discussion, tell him that "I am doing so and so and things are moving positive direction and I hope I can come out with that trouble very soon". And move on to the other topic.
answered Nov 29 '12 at 13:57
vehitha
4602512
add a comment |Â
up vote
22
down vote
Meet him, but don't bring up the situation yourself.
It things do come to light during your meeting, explain that you are not asking for him to be involved and that you really only wanted to meet so you could catch up and you were not meeting in order for him to bail you out again.
If you make it clear that you were not looking for his involvement when you wanted to meet up, then he should know that this is not the only reason you want to see him.
answered Nov 28 '12 at 12:08
Oded
21.1k57597
add a comment |Â
up vote
4
down vote
It depends on the depth of your pre-trouble contact. Obviously he likes you and had enough trust in you to help you in the past.
I like the idea of meeting with him and not being the one who brings up current problems. But if he probes and asks - tell the truth, but say - flat out - that you didn't bring it up, because you don't want to only come to him when you're in trouble. Also, before he can ask probing questions, express your regret that the last time you were in his area, he was too busy to meet with you. It's certainly complimentary that you seek him out (even when you aren't in trouble) and he should know that you tried.
answered Nov 29 '12 at 14:27
bethlakshmi
70.4k4136277
add a comment |Â
up vote
-2
down vote
How to maintain the situation healthy in such a way that he didn't get
any unhealthy feeling and still maintain good work relationship.
The only way to do that is leave him out of this last "trouble".
It does appear you are coming to him only when you are in trouble.
If you don't want to give him these unhealthy feelings you should really try to solve it via some other method, i.e. - without him.
answered Nov 28 '12 at 20:12
Greg McNulty
2,6701523
add a comment |Â
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4 Answers
4
active
oldest
votes
4 Answers
4
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
up vote
1
down vote
accepted
Go and meet him. Take good care that the discussion doesn't go to that topic.
When the topic comes in the discussion, tell him that "I am doing so and so and things are moving positive direction and I hope I can come out with that trouble very soon". And move on to the other topic.
answered Nov 29 '12 at 13:57
vehitha
4602512
add a comment |Â
up vote
1
down vote
accepted
Go and meet him. Take good care that the discussion doesn't go to that topic.
When the topic comes in the discussion, tell him that "I am doing so and so and things are moving positive direction and I hope I can come out with that trouble very soon". And move on to the other topic.
answered Nov 29 '12 at 13:57
vehitha
4602512
add a comment |Â
up vote
1
down vote
accepted
up vote
1
down vote
accepted
Go and meet him. Take good care that the discussion doesn't go to that topic.
When the topic comes in the discussion, tell him that "I am doing so and so and things are moving positive direction and I hope I can come out with that trouble very soon". And move on to the other topic.
answered Nov 29 '12 at 13:57
vehitha
4602512
Go and meet him. Take good care that the discussion doesn't go to that topic.
When the topic comes in the discussion, tell him that "I am doing so and so and things are moving positive direction and I hope I can come out with that trouble very soon". And move on to the other topic.
answered Nov 29 '12 at 13:57
vehitha
4602512
answered Nov 29 '12 at 13:57
vehitha
4602512
answered Nov 29 '12 at 13:57
vehitha
4602512
answered Nov 29 '12 at 13:57
vehitha
4602512
4602512
add a comment |Â
add a comment |Â
up vote
22
down vote
Meet him, but don't bring up the situation yourself.
It things do come to light during your meeting, explain that you are not asking for him to be involved and that you really only wanted to meet so you could catch up and you were not meeting in order for him to bail you out again.
If you make it clear that you were not looking for his involvement when you wanted to meet up, then he should know that this is not the only reason you want to see him.
answered Nov 28 '12 at 12:08
Oded
21.1k57597
add a comment |Â
up vote
22
down vote
Meet him, but don't bring up the situation yourself.
It things do come to light during your meeting, explain that you are not asking for him to be involved and that you really only wanted to meet so you could catch up and you were not meeting in order for him to bail you out again.
If you make it clear that you were not looking for his involvement when you wanted to meet up, then he should know that this is not the only reason you want to see him.
answered Nov 28 '12 at 12:08
Oded
21.1k57597
add a comment |Â
up vote
22
down vote
up vote
22
down vote
Meet him, but don't bring up the situation yourself.
It things do come to light during your meeting, explain that you are not asking for him to be involved and that you really only wanted to meet so you could catch up and you were not meeting in order for him to bail you out again.
If you make it clear that you were not looking for his involvement when you wanted to meet up, then he should know that this is not the only reason you want to see him.
answered Nov 28 '12 at 12:08
Oded
21.1k57597
Meet him, but don't bring up the situation yourself.
It things do come to light during your meeting, explain that you are not asking for him to be involved and that you really only wanted to meet so you could catch up and you were not meeting in order for him to bail you out again.
If you make it clear that you were not looking for his involvement when you wanted to meet up, then he should know that this is not the only reason you want to see him.
answered Nov 28 '12 at 12:08
Oded
21.1k57597
answered Nov 28 '12 at 12:08
Oded
21.1k57597
answered Nov 28 '12 at 12:08
Oded
21.1k57597
answered Nov 28 '12 at 12:08
Oded
21.1k57597
21.1k57597
add a comment |Â
add a comment |Â
up vote
4
down vote
It depends on the depth of your pre-trouble contact. Obviously he likes you and had enough trust in you to help you in the past.
I like the idea of meeting with him and not being the one who brings up current problems. But if he probes and asks - tell the truth, but say - flat out - that you didn't bring it up, because you don't want to only come to him when you're in trouble. Also, before he can ask probing questions, express your regret that the last time you were in his area, he was too busy to meet with you. It's certainly complimentary that you seek him out (even when you aren't in trouble) and he should know that you tried.
answered Nov 29 '12 at 14:27
bethlakshmi
70.4k4136277
add a comment |Â
up vote
4
down vote
It depends on the depth of your pre-trouble contact. Obviously he likes you and had enough trust in you to help you in the past.
I like the idea of meeting with him and not being the one who brings up current problems. But if he probes and asks - tell the truth, but say - flat out - that you didn't bring it up, because you don't want to only come to him when you're in trouble. Also, before he can ask probing questions, express your regret that the last time you were in his area, he was too busy to meet with you. It's certainly complimentary that you seek him out (even when you aren't in trouble) and he should know that you tried.
answered Nov 29 '12 at 14:27
bethlakshmi
70.4k4136277
add a comment |Â
up vote
4
down vote
up vote
4
down vote
It depends on the depth of your pre-trouble contact. Obviously he likes you and had enough trust in you to help you in the past.
I like the idea of meeting with him and not being the one who brings up current problems. But if he probes and asks - tell the truth, but say - flat out - that you didn't bring it up, because you don't want to only come to him when you're in trouble. Also, before he can ask probing questions, express your regret that the last time you were in his area, he was too busy to meet with you. It's certainly complimentary that you seek him out (even when you aren't in trouble) and he should know that you tried.
answered Nov 29 '12 at 14:27
bethlakshmi
70.4k4136277
It depends on the depth of your pre-trouble contact. Obviously he likes you and had enough trust in you to help you in the past.
I like the idea of meeting with him and not being the one who brings up current problems. But if he probes and asks - tell the truth, but say - flat out - that you didn't bring it up, because you don't want to only come to him when you're in trouble. Also, before he can ask probing questions, express your regret that the last time you were in his area, he was too busy to meet with you. It's certainly complimentary that you seek him out (even when you aren't in trouble) and he should know that you tried.
answered Nov 29 '12 at 14:27
bethlakshmi
70.4k4136277
answered Nov 29 '12 at 14:27
bethlakshmi
70.4k4136277
answered Nov 29 '12 at 14:27
bethlakshmi
70.4k4136277
answered Nov 29 '12 at 14:27
bethlakshmi
70.4k4136277
70.4k4136277
add a comment |Â
add a comment |Â
up vote
-2
down vote
How to maintain the situation healthy in such a way that he didn't get
any unhealthy feeling and still maintain good work relationship.
The only way to do that is leave him out of this last "trouble".
It does appear you are coming to him only when you are in trouble.
If you don't want to give him these unhealthy feelings you should really try to solve it via some other method, i.e. - without him.
answered Nov 28 '12 at 20:12
Greg McNulty
2,6701523
add a comment |Â
up vote
-2
down vote
How to maintain the situation healthy in such a way that he didn't get
any unhealthy feeling and still maintain good work relationship.
The only way to do that is leave him out of this last "trouble".
It does appear you are coming to him only when you are in trouble.
If you don't want to give him these unhealthy feelings you should really try to solve it via some other method, i.e. - without him.
answered Nov 28 '12 at 20:12
Greg McNulty
2,6701523
add a comment |Â
up vote
-2
down vote
up vote
-2
down vote
How to maintain the situation healthy in such a way that he didn't get
any unhealthy feeling and still maintain good work relationship.
The only way to do that is leave him out of this last "trouble".
It does appear you are coming to him only when you are in trouble.
If you don't want to give him these unhealthy feelings you should really try to solve it via some other method, i.e. - without him.
answered Nov 28 '12 at 20:12
Greg McNulty
2,6701523
How to maintain the situation healthy in such a way that he didn't get
any unhealthy feeling and still maintain good work relationship.
The only way to do that is leave him out of this last "trouble".
It does appear you are coming to him only when you are in trouble.
If you don't want to give him these unhealthy feelings you should really try to solve it via some other method, i.e. - without him.
answered Nov 28 '12 at 20:12
Greg McNulty
2,6701523
edited Nov 29 '12 at 1:13
answered Nov 28 '12 at 20:12
Greg McNulty
2,6701523
answered Nov 28 '12 at 20:12
Greg McNulty
2,6701523
answered Nov 28 '12 at 20:12
Greg McNulty
2,6701523
2,6701523
add a comment |Â
add a comment |Â
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4
I think the answer to this question is to get your act together and prioritize your goals and review policies so you don't find yourself in trouble at work. When I'm doing well at work, my boss wants to talk about things outside of work(personal likes, hobbies) but if I mess up, it's all about work....
– Jeff
Nov 28 '12 at 21:29