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What can I do? My employer told a coworker that I complained about her [closed]
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There is a coworker that will come in when she feels like it. She was 50 minutes late on Tuesday. My boss called and asked if we would like to go to a meeting with him. I told him as soon as she arrived I would let him know. He told me whenever she gets there, please just come to the meeting. I did. He wrote her up (this is not the first time she has been late) and told her that I was "bitching" about her being late. I only answered the questions he asked. What I can do? I do not feel safe in my job at all anymore.
colleagues
asked Apr 9 '15 at 21:12
Bethany Stewart
12
closed as off-topic by gnat, user9158, Philipp, Chris E, IDrinkandIKnowThings Apr 13 '15 at 16:49
This question appears to be off-topic. The users who voted to close gave this specific reason:
- "Real questions have answers. Rather than explaining why your situation is terrible, or why your boss/coworker makes you unhappy, explain what you want to do to make it better. For more information, click here." – gnat, Community, Philipp, Chris E, IDrinkandIKnowThings
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There is a coworker that will come in when she feels like it. She was 50 minutes late on Tuesday. My boss called and asked if we would like to go to a meeting with him. I told him as soon as she arrived I would let him know. He told me whenever she gets there, please just come to the meeting. I did. He wrote her up (this is not the first time she has been late) and told her that I was "bitching" about her being late. I only answered the questions he asked. What I can do? I do not feel safe in my job at all anymore.
colleagues
asked Apr 9 '15 at 21:12
Bethany Stewart
12
closed as off-topic by gnat, user9158, Philipp, Chris E, IDrinkandIKnowThings Apr 13 '15 at 16:49
This question appears to be off-topic. The users who voted to close gave this specific reason:
- "Real questions have answers. Rather than explaining why your situation is terrible, or why your boss/coworker makes you unhappy, explain what you want to do to make it better. For more information, click here." – gnat, Community, Philipp, Chris E, IDrinkandIKnowThings
5
I think you'd want to trace back the source of the "bitching" comment. There are those who honestly believe that when they do something wrong, the person who notices it is the one at fault. Sounds like you may have one of those on your hands. I'd bet the actual convo was more like "Bethany said you weren't in, yet."
– Wesley Long
Apr 9 '15 at 22:27
Did you hear your boss tell her you were bitching about her or did she tell you he said that? I'd wager she drew conclusions and made assumptions. I doubt you have anything to worry about from your boss... though I would distance my self personally from your coworker who does sound like she is on her way out.
– IDrinkandIKnowThings
Apr 13 '15 at 16:49
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
0
down vote
favorite
up vote
0
down vote
favorite
There is a coworker that will come in when she feels like it. She was 50 minutes late on Tuesday. My boss called and asked if we would like to go to a meeting with him. I told him as soon as she arrived I would let him know. He told me whenever she gets there, please just come to the meeting. I did. He wrote her up (this is not the first time she has been late) and told her that I was "bitching" about her being late. I only answered the questions he asked. What I can do? I do not feel safe in my job at all anymore.
colleagues
asked Apr 9 '15 at 21:12
Bethany Stewart
12
There is a coworker that will come in when she feels like it. She was 50 minutes late on Tuesday. My boss called and asked if we would like to go to a meeting with him. I told him as soon as she arrived I would let him know. He told me whenever she gets there, please just come to the meeting. I did. He wrote her up (this is not the first time she has been late) and told her that I was "bitching" about her being late. I only answered the questions he asked. What I can do? I do not feel safe in my job at all anymore.
colleagues
asked Apr 9 '15 at 21:12
Bethany Stewart
12
asked Apr 9 '15 at 21:12
Bethany Stewart
12
asked Apr 9 '15 at 21:12
Bethany Stewart
12
asked Apr 9 '15 at 21:12
Bethany Stewart
12
12
closed as off-topic by gnat, user9158, Philipp, Chris E, IDrinkandIKnowThings Apr 13 '15 at 16:49
This question appears to be off-topic. The users who voted to close gave this specific reason:
- "Real questions have answers. Rather than explaining why your situation is terrible, or why your boss/coworker makes you unhappy, explain what you want to do to make it better. For more information, click here." – gnat, Community, Philipp, Chris E, IDrinkandIKnowThings
closed as off-topic by gnat, user9158, Philipp, Chris E, IDrinkandIKnowThings Apr 13 '15 at 16:49
This question appears to be off-topic. The users who voted to close gave this specific reason:
- "Real questions have answers. Rather than explaining why your situation is terrible, or why your boss/coworker makes you unhappy, explain what you want to do to make it better. For more information, click here." – gnat, Community, Philipp, Chris E, IDrinkandIKnowThings
5
I think you'd want to trace back the source of the "bitching" comment. There are those who honestly believe that when they do something wrong, the person who notices it is the one at fault. Sounds like you may have one of those on your hands. I'd bet the actual convo was more like "Bethany said you weren't in, yet."
– Wesley Long
Apr 9 '15 at 22:27
Did you hear your boss tell her you were bitching about her or did she tell you he said that? I'd wager she drew conclusions and made assumptions. I doubt you have anything to worry about from your boss... though I would distance my self personally from your coworker who does sound like she is on her way out.
– IDrinkandIKnowThings
Apr 13 '15 at 16:49
suggest improvements |Â
5
I think you'd want to trace back the source of the "bitching" comment. There are those who honestly believe that when they do something wrong, the person who notices it is the one at fault. Sounds like you may have one of those on your hands. I'd bet the actual convo was more like "Bethany said you weren't in, yet."
– Wesley Long
Apr 9 '15 at 22:27
Did you hear your boss tell her you were bitching about her or did she tell you he said that? I'd wager she drew conclusions and made assumptions. I doubt you have anything to worry about from your boss... though I would distance my self personally from your coworker who does sound like she is on her way out.
– IDrinkandIKnowThings
Apr 13 '15 at 16:49
5
5
I think you'd want to trace back the source of the "bitching" comment. There are those who honestly believe that when they do something wrong, the person who notices it is the one at fault. Sounds like you may have one of those on your hands. I'd bet the actual convo was more like "Bethany said you weren't in, yet."
– Wesley Long
Apr 9 '15 at 22:27
I think you'd want to trace back the source of the "bitching" comment. There are those who honestly believe that when they do something wrong, the person who notices it is the one at fault. Sounds like you may have one of those on your hands. I'd bet the actual convo was more like "Bethany said you weren't in, yet."
– Wesley Long
Apr 9 '15 at 22:27
Did you hear your boss tell her you were bitching about her or did she tell you he said that? I'd wager she drew conclusions and made assumptions. I doubt you have anything to worry about from your boss... though I would distance my self personally from your coworker who does sound like she is on her way out.
– IDrinkandIKnowThings
Apr 13 '15 at 16:49
Did you hear your boss tell her you were bitching about her or did she tell you he said that? I'd wager she drew conclusions and made assumptions. I doubt you have anything to worry about from your boss... though I would distance my self personally from your coworker who does sound like she is on her way out.
– IDrinkandIKnowThings
Apr 13 '15 at 16:49
suggest improvements |Â
2 Answers
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A direct conversation with her to clarify your role in the whole drama might go a long way to fixing things with her.
As for fixing your broken trust in your boss that is an entirely different can of worms. Ideally you have a private discussion of what specifically was done (eg pulling you into the middle of something), how it negatively effects you (eg your trust in him diminished and your relationship with her tarnished), and what can be done to fix the situation(eg never happen again and he clarifies to co-worker that you were only answering direct questions). In my experience those who are willing to flat out lie about you do not care how their actions effect you so this conversation may have very little positive impact.
answered Apr 9 '15 at 21:56
Myles
25.4k658104
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You simply go to your co-worker and tell her: "In case you're wondering: I want to clarify that I never bitched about you."
answered Apr 10 '15 at 0:37
Vietnhi Phuvan
68.9k7118254
If you tell me that, i will hear the total opposite in my mind.
– Walfrat
Jun 8 '16 at 13:08
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2 Answers
2
active
oldest
votes
2 Answers
2
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
up vote
3
down vote
A direct conversation with her to clarify your role in the whole drama might go a long way to fixing things with her.
As for fixing your broken trust in your boss that is an entirely different can of worms. Ideally you have a private discussion of what specifically was done (eg pulling you into the middle of something), how it negatively effects you (eg your trust in him diminished and your relationship with her tarnished), and what can be done to fix the situation(eg never happen again and he clarifies to co-worker that you were only answering direct questions). In my experience those who are willing to flat out lie about you do not care how their actions effect you so this conversation may have very little positive impact.
answered Apr 9 '15 at 21:56
Myles
25.4k658104
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
3
down vote
A direct conversation with her to clarify your role in the whole drama might go a long way to fixing things with her.
As for fixing your broken trust in your boss that is an entirely different can of worms. Ideally you have a private discussion of what specifically was done (eg pulling you into the middle of something), how it negatively effects you (eg your trust in him diminished and your relationship with her tarnished), and what can be done to fix the situation(eg never happen again and he clarifies to co-worker that you were only answering direct questions). In my experience those who are willing to flat out lie about you do not care how their actions effect you so this conversation may have very little positive impact.
answered Apr 9 '15 at 21:56
Myles
25.4k658104
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
3
down vote
up vote
3
down vote
A direct conversation with her to clarify your role in the whole drama might go a long way to fixing things with her.
As for fixing your broken trust in your boss that is an entirely different can of worms. Ideally you have a private discussion of what specifically was done (eg pulling you into the middle of something), how it negatively effects you (eg your trust in him diminished and your relationship with her tarnished), and what can be done to fix the situation(eg never happen again and he clarifies to co-worker that you were only answering direct questions). In my experience those who are willing to flat out lie about you do not care how their actions effect you so this conversation may have very little positive impact.
answered Apr 9 '15 at 21:56
Myles
25.4k658104
A direct conversation with her to clarify your role in the whole drama might go a long way to fixing things with her.
As for fixing your broken trust in your boss that is an entirely different can of worms. Ideally you have a private discussion of what specifically was done (eg pulling you into the middle of something), how it negatively effects you (eg your trust in him diminished and your relationship with her tarnished), and what can be done to fix the situation(eg never happen again and he clarifies to co-worker that you were only answering direct questions). In my experience those who are willing to flat out lie about you do not care how their actions effect you so this conversation may have very little positive impact.
answered Apr 9 '15 at 21:56
Myles
25.4k658104
answered Apr 9 '15 at 21:56
Myles
25.4k658104
answered Apr 9 '15 at 21:56
Myles
25.4k658104
answered Apr 9 '15 at 21:56
Myles
25.4k658104
25.4k658104
suggest improvements |Â
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
-2
down vote
You simply go to your co-worker and tell her: "In case you're wondering: I want to clarify that I never bitched about you."
answered Apr 10 '15 at 0:37
Vietnhi Phuvan
68.9k7118254
If you tell me that, i will hear the total opposite in my mind.
– Walfrat
Jun 8 '16 at 13:08
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
-2
down vote
You simply go to your co-worker and tell her: "In case you're wondering: I want to clarify that I never bitched about you."
answered Apr 10 '15 at 0:37
Vietnhi Phuvan
68.9k7118254
If you tell me that, i will hear the total opposite in my mind.
– Walfrat
Jun 8 '16 at 13:08
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
-2
down vote
up vote
-2
down vote
You simply go to your co-worker and tell her: "In case you're wondering: I want to clarify that I never bitched about you."
answered Apr 10 '15 at 0:37
Vietnhi Phuvan
68.9k7118254
You simply go to your co-worker and tell her: "In case you're wondering: I want to clarify that I never bitched about you."
answered Apr 10 '15 at 0:37
Vietnhi Phuvan
68.9k7118254
answered Apr 10 '15 at 0:37
Vietnhi Phuvan
68.9k7118254
answered Apr 10 '15 at 0:37
Vietnhi Phuvan
68.9k7118254
answered Apr 10 '15 at 0:37
Vietnhi Phuvan
68.9k7118254
68.9k7118254
If you tell me that, i will hear the total opposite in my mind.
– Walfrat
Jun 8 '16 at 13:08
suggest improvements |Â
If you tell me that, i will hear the total opposite in my mind.
– Walfrat
Jun 8 '16 at 13:08
If you tell me that, i will hear the total opposite in my mind.
– Walfrat
Jun 8 '16 at 13:08
If you tell me that, i will hear the total opposite in my mind.
– Walfrat
Jun 8 '16 at 13:08
suggest improvements |Â
5
I think you'd want to trace back the source of the "bitching" comment. There are those who honestly believe that when they do something wrong, the person who notices it is the one at fault. Sounds like you may have one of those on your hands. I'd bet the actual convo was more like "Bethany said you weren't in, yet."
– Wesley Long
Apr 9 '15 at 22:27
Did you hear your boss tell her you were bitching about her or did she tell you he said that? I'd wager she drew conclusions and made assumptions. I doubt you have anything to worry about from your boss... though I would distance my self personally from your coworker who does sound like she is on her way out.
– IDrinkandIKnowThings
Apr 13 '15 at 16:49